


Non Semper Erit Aestas

by Amaterasu_omikami



Series: Amor Fati [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, M/M, Relationship(s), Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2016-02-27
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:11:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 316,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4735445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amaterasu_omikami/pseuds/Amaterasu_omikami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Makoto had expected to go through University and then simply go back to Iwatobi, while keeping in close contact with people there and yet, it was like Tokyo was a tide that unexpectedly came in and had swept him, swept them away, depositing them on strange and fascinating shores full of opportunities and new faces."</p><p>Or in other words, a story about Haru and Makoto’s life in Tokyo, up to the Olympics, and how they stumble through finding out who they are, together. With a bit of porn for good measure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

# Prologue

 

 

_Well, the first week is finally over._

The words passed through Makoto’s head as he entered his apartment before collapsing into the chair near his desk. It was already filled with books, papers and a number of other things he used for studying. He had known University would be difficult, and had been prepared to work hard to achieve his goals but he simply felt drained at that moment and only one week had passed.

“I guess it’ll get easier in time” he murmured, and then contemplated his empty stomach. Realizing he should get up and fix himself something to eat he groaned because he just did not have the strength. Missing lunch and dinner though seemed like a bad choice and taking care of his own health was important. He would only cause other people more trouble if he got sick. His parents were in Iwatobi and he was an adult now, with adult responsibilities.

Sighing, he got up and dragged himself to the kitchen. It was just a few steps but more than enough in his current state. He was glad for the cramped space for the millionth time since he had arrived to Tokyo and then chose to live there, instead of the dorms. At first, the idea of renting his own apartment hadn’t even occurred to him but after visiting the campus and bits of the city, and seeing all the hustle and bustle, he had felt like having his own, separate space, where he could truly relax and wind down, might be a good idea. Tokyo felt alive in a way Iwatobi never had. The city itself seemed to be a living, breathing thing, the flashing neon signs its heartbeat, the constant buzz making him unable to settle. In the end, it hadn’t been that difficult to find something suitable, after all he didn’t require much and every night he was so glad that he could close the door between himself and the rest of the world and just breathe. He needed that time to himself and was glad he made the right choice.

Grabbing the few pots and other utensils, he put the water to boil and then got to chopping the vegetables. He was not a particularly good cook but had tried improving his skills a bit when he finally got accepted to his choice University and the necessity of having to make do on his own became clear. Haru had helped of course, even if most of his suggestions revolved around mackerel. At least now he could make a few passable basic dishes thanks to him and not starve. Rin had laughed and laughed at his attempts and then took them all out to dinner more times than he could count, when the meal inevitably ended up unpalatable. Well, there was also that one time when the fire extinguisher was required but better not to think about that. He still wasn’t sure how water could catch fire.

 _Haru!_  Makoto suddenly jerked and almost nicked himself with the knife. He had forgotten to call him for three days now and ask how he was doing, being so preoccupied with the start of the year and all the new experiences. He'd remembered at odd times but somehow he always had to postpone. Another class, trying to meet new people and fit in, simply being tired and yet having to read just one more chapter. Guilt welled up in him because he really should have tried but it was suddenly followed by a strange sense of resentment. It was not an emotion he was used to feeling, especially not when it came to Haru and he wasn’t sure if he could pinpoint where it was coming from. Quickly finishing up the food preparation, he washed the utensils, grabbed the kitchen towel and wiped down his hands.

Sitting back in his chair, Makoto stared at his phone for a while. Seeing that it wasn’t going to dial itself and obviously, Haru was not going to call him, he sighed and decided he might as well get to it. That’s when he finally realized what was bothering him. It was true that he hadn’t called Haru but Haru hadn’t called him either, had he? There was no reason that he had to be the one to call. Makoto wasn’t quite sure what to make of this. Haru rarely called, almost never. He just wasn’t fond of his phone, Makoto knew that. Even carrying it with him was something new for Haru. It never bothered Makoto before. And yet, apparently, suddenly it did.

They’d worked out their issues that summer, Makoto was sure of it. They’d talked more than the previous months, making up for the lost time. He hadn’t known where Haru would end up training but he had been certain it didn’t really matter. Distance didn’t matter for them, they would always be best friends. They’d remain close and in touch, even if it was through emails and Skype. Their bond was not one to easily break. He had been prepared to spend the next few years apart from Haru, repeating these assurances to himself quietly in the night, while he lay staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, and then news had come of Haru joining a team whose base was at a University just outside of Tokyo. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and it all seemed to have worked out at the time. Why did he feel so unsettled then? Haru was there with him, this was just a minor thing, they were both just so busy and they would find their balance.

He was sure of it. He was.

Picking up the phone, he dialed, deciding that he was just tired and overthinking things. He was just tired.

~ ~

Haru could hear the buzzing of his phone, still in his sports bag, that he just left by the door when he got home from practice that night. He was trying to fix himself an evening meal and found this to be almost inexplicably difficult for some reason. He was tired, true, but he had been this tired before, especially this summer, when he had begun training under the regime his new team had sent to prepare him for his transfer and he could still coach Makoto in food preparation after. He should be able to do this now.

He flipped the meat over and stared at it. He knew what was bothering him, if he were to be honest, he just wasn’t sure he wanted to think about it. Makoto. They hadn’t spoken in three days. The last time that had happened was during those unpleasant weeks, before he found his dream. It was not a time he liked to recall. They’d sorted it out though, the two of them, so what did it matter anyway. He supposed he could just call him first but he was so used to Makoto being the one to reach out, that he was almost afraid to do so himself now.

_And isn’t that a strange thought?_

When he made the decision to join the world of professional swimming, and really, he was certain he would never be able to repay Rin for his kindness, he hadn’t been quite sure what would be the best way to proceed. Rin had suggested just finishing out the relay first and then contacting some of the scouts that had gotten in touch with him previously. It had been a good piece of advice but turned out to be unnecessary. He had been approached by a few of them even before the relay finals, after they had spotted him swimming again in the preliminaries with everyone and renewed their offers. The best offer though, had appeared after the final race. They’d come in sixth and he remembered being so happy. They had done their best but more importantly they had swum together, and he felt so connected to them, and the water at that moment. It was a feeling unlike any other and a part of him knew it was not going to repeat itself. He was never going to race with his friends quite like that again. Now, all that was ahead of him was the pool and Haru himself.

 _I am becoming scatter brained_  he snorted and flipped the meat over again but he acknowledged there was nothing wrong lingering a bit on those happy moments. He had been approached by Mizushima Daisuke after that race. Haru still wasn’t quite sure what had precipitated that offer. Yes, he had good times, but he also stopped at a race. He had swum the fastest time in the free section of the relays final but Mizushima-san? He was owner and head coach of Team Ryuujin. They worked with some of the best swimmers, producing those that represented Japan at the previous Olympic Games. They were also based at a famous University just outside Tokyo. He didn’t need Rin nodding his head like crazy and pointing at the man to know that he should just say yes, without much thought, to such an offer. It was an honour to be approached by that team, and the man himself, even Haru knew that so he wasted no time in accepting. The very next day he had a schedule waiting for him in his email and an explanation that a more specialized one would be constructed once he got to Tokyo and went through all their tests and medical. So he trained, and taught Makoto how to cook, and laughed with Rin when Makoto managed to set that water on fire. Makoto, whose mother had thrown them a party before leaving, patted his hand and told him that best friends are important. And now, he was here.  Tokyo. With Makoto.

Trying to cook meat that was about to burn. He quickly turned off the stove and got his dish prepared. It wasn’t his favourite food but the first week was spent in being poked, prodded and then told in no uncertain terms that he was to follow the diet plan that the team nutritionist handed him. He needed to build muscle and work on his endurance and proper nutrition was important. He was a professional athlete now, gone were the days when Rin would talk about a proper way to eat while Haru ignored him.

He was long done with his meal and already in bed, by the time he remembered the missed call.

 

 

#  Chapter 1

 

_It’s late, he must be sleeping already._

_I want to talk to him._

Those words passed through Haru’s head before he hit dial and waited for the phone to ring. He was going to wake Makoto up. It was selfish yet he didn’t care. The phone kept ringing and he let it.

“Haru?” Makoto’s sleepy voice suddenly came from the other side “Did something happen? Are you all right?” his voice steadily rising as he got to the end of the question. Haru could hear him take a breath, getting ready to fire off more questions, so he cut in. “No, no. Everything is fine. I just didn’t hear my phone when you called so I thought to ring you back.”

“It’s almost midnight Haru.”

“I wanted to talk to you. It’s been three days.” There was just silence on the other end of the line and Haru flinched. The words almost sounded accusatory to his ears and yet he knew he hadn't meant them so. It was just weird, not talking to Makoto for so long. He was still unable to completely figure out the cause of his unease but he was sure of one thing. It was simply too long and he didn't like it. The image of a too stretched rubber band suddenly popped into his mind, and he knew that if he had postponed any longer, it would have hurt them both. 

“Ah, Haru. Yes.” There was shuffling coming from the other side and the sound of covers being moved. “I realized that before I called you. I am sorry. This first week has been so hectic but I should have called.” Makoto seemed to be on a roll, apologizing but it only made Haru frown. He shook his head and forced himself to pay attention. “You must have been on the train or something when I did though, I wasn’t sure when your practice was over for the day.”

It was Haru’s turn to pause now. For a second he wasn’t sure what to say but one thing he knew was that he didn’t want to hurt Makoto and telling him he forgot to call right back, lost in his daydreaming about his swimming, would probably do that. “Yes, I was, didn’t check my phone until just now. You know how I get.” Makoto chuckling could be heard on the other end of the line at this and Haru felt his own lips twitch.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed by now? How was practice?”

“I am. And practice was fine, thanks. Neither one of us will go to sleep soon if I go into it. Or maybe you will. Shall I tell you about the pool?”

“Haru! Now that’s just mean! I am studying to be a coach you know, I haven’t given up swimming completely!” Haru could hear Makoto chuckling again though and was absurdly glad for it. “What are you doing on Sunday? I have to study tomorrow, or should I say today but I should be free on Sunday. Let’s have lunch together Haru.” Makoto paused before soft words reached him. “I missed you.”

They surprised Haru and he wanted to answer back that yes, he missed Makoto too but a sudden feeling of embarrassment overcame him. He already told him that he wanted to talk to him, why was this difficult now. Focusing on the lunch part, he rubbed the back of his neck and muttered “Sunday is good but I’m cooking. I’m sure you’ll be disappointed but no mackerel this time. I have to stick to the nutritionist list.” Thinking about the contents of his fridge he added “Bring something to drink if you want more than tea or water. Around 1pm all right? I’m doing a morning run so I’ll need a bit more time to prepare everything.”

“Sounds great. Good night Haru, see you soon.” Makoto who was already close to falling asleep again judging by his voice, and Haru could only murmur a quiet salute in return, not wanting to disturb him. “Good night Makoto.” He was just about to hang up, when he changed his mind.

“Makoto?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m glad I woke you up.”

~~

When he first started running, Haru wasn’t sure he liked it. There was all this land and he figured his time would be better spent in the water, swimming. He knew it was necessary though so he had kept at it. He’d think of times long past when his intense rivalry with Rin made him do this as a child. He hadn't liked it then either but the thoughts of Rin had pushed him. In some ways, the thoughts of Rin pushed him even now. There was more of course but Rin was always present in some corner of his mind, the knowledge that somewhere in Australia Rin was running too. They were running together now though, this race of theirs, towards the Olympics. He knew he rather liked the difference.

As time passed though, as soon as he got onto the track, and even more so since he had arrived to Tokyo, once he got going, his head would clear of all things and there would be just the steady thump, thump, thump of his shoes on the asphalt. The soft susurration of the leaves from the surrounding trees would sooth him and there’d be just the road ahead and an occasional lonely runner to greet. He felt like they were lonely ships passing each other on the vast ocean, solitary travellers looking for the next port to rest and then move on.

Haru ran and found that he didn’t mind so much anymore.

~~

“Nanase!” being yelled at was the first thing that reached him when he slapped the wall and broke the surface of the water. His fist clenched and he fought to remain calm. In the past month he’d gotten to know the owner of that voice well and by now Haru’d rather never hear it again.

He knew of course, right from the start, that Mizushima-san wouldn’t be the person he’d be working with. He trained only the Olympic hopefuls who were already a year in their cycle and though he wished to join them, he first had to do well in Japan itself. There was a National tournament at the start of next year and he hoped to be picked for the team then. Of course, that meant first getting the qualifying times necessary during the Ryuujin meet that was happening some time in February. If all that went well, he could at least hope that the World Championship to be held in Russia was a possibility. But that dream was far away, and currently things were not looking good.

“This is not what I told you yesterday. Did you even bother thinking about my instructions?”

Kobayashi Iwao. He’d been assigned to him and ever since, things had not gone well. Haru ended up doing a little research on him after the first few days. He used to be a professional swimmer who specialized in free style and then after a break to attend University had joined Team Ryuujin. It had brought comfort to Haru then, thinking his coach could relate to his desire to achieve his dreams but already after the first three weeks, it was clear the man was set in his ways and no feedback from the swimmers was expected. Or welcomed.

Haru sank into the water up to his nose and allowed the man’s yelling to pass over him. There was no point in listening, he already knew all the words. He understood them. It just wasn’t how he swam. He didn’t mind technical instruction, he was used to that but he knew his body the best. He knew water. Water didn’t like it when you pushed too soon or too late. It tended to push back. While he was prepared to train hard and devote his all to achieving success, he also knew himself well. He didn't think that it was an impossibility to find the balance between his own needs and that of a professional athlete but he need his coach to help him there. It was just unfortunate that by then it was quite clear that the help was not coming. He turned his attention back to Kobayashi-san just in time to see him pointing towards the start. “Again. I’m timing this one to see where you are this week. Not that it’ll be any use, I don’t expect to see any improvement from when you arrived.”

Getting to the start block, he waited for the signal and then dove. He tried following the instructions given to him, pacing himself, and paying attention to accelerating at the proper times, as instructed by Kobayashi-san. He hit the wall and was greeted by another “Nanase!” yelled out at full volume. “Out! You’re done for the day, your training schedule is in your locker. Take tomorrow to think what it is that you really want here.”

He got himself out and then headed towards the locker rooms, keeping his head down. He hadn’t really met any of the other swimmers yet, past the basic initial introductions, and really, he especially didn’t feel like meeting any of their gazes now. He could guess what their thoughts were, the new guy getting such a harsh treatment by the coach, after being told so many times how to do it properly. Haru wasn’t sure how long he spent under the showers but feeling the water pound his back, the drops hitting him and then scattering in the air, he realized that not once while he was in the pool, swimming that leg, did he think about the water, trying so hard to keep up with it all.

He got out and started drying himself off with a towel when a thought occurred to him.  _Really, I should have known right away when I heard him introduce himself that this was not going to work._

~~

Makoto was having fun.

Oh it was Saturday and he was in a tiny room, studying, behind a tiny desk with his knees hitting it every time he tried to move, but he was having fun. He had gotten a good night’s sleep, even with Haru interrupting him. Or if he was honest with himself, because Haru had interrupted him. He never expected to get that call back but rather was almost certain he’d have to call again after he woke up. A feeling of happiness had filled him when he realized Haru had missed him too, enough to want to call. His parting words had made his stomach do a little flip flop and he had poked and prodded at the unexpected sensation before he had finally drifted off to sleep, still not being able to decipher it.

 _Concentrate Makoto_  he admonished himself,  _there’ll be plenty of time to think about that once you’re done with this paper and those lessons you need to read before next week. Work first._

He gave a little nod to himself and got back to it. If it got him away from those bothersome ideas, all the better, it was even a bit of a relief. He was putting too much thought into it anyway, he was sure of it, and studying required his attention. It wasn’t as overwhelming as it seemed last night. There was still a lot of material to go through, and it was just the first week but not as overwhelming at all. He turned the pages of the book he was consulting and went back to typing his essay.

Makoto was not sure how much time had passed when he closed his book and stretched. Glancing at the clock, he froze. _Already five!_ He’d been at it since after breakfast, but apparently the old time flies when you’re having fun saying was true, even when studying. He never experienced it before in that manner but he was glad now, it gave him a nice boost, thinking of his future. He was just about to head for the kitchen, when his phone rang.

He frowned at the name displayed before he remembered who it belonged to.

“Ah, Himura, hello.”

“Tachibana, hello! How are you today?”

“Well, thank you. Yourself?” he added, a bit uncertainly. He met Himura Kazuhiko during his lessons and they had exchanged numbers but apart from sitting with him and a few other students for lunch twice this past week, he hadn't socialized with them more than with any other new acquaintances he'd made. Apparently that didn’t matter much to Himura who was already explaining away why he called. “We were thinking, that is Kagome, Matsushita and I, I hope you remember them, about going out and having some dinner and drinks together. We had lunch the other day so we wondered if you wanted to go with us. After all, we’ll be spending quite a lot of time together in the future and who knows, maybe even do some group projects, so why not get to know each other now?”

Makoto was caught off guard by the invitation. He truly hadn’t expected it. They all seemed to be nice guys and it sounded like a good idea to get to know each other but it was still unexpected. He was having lunch with Haru tomorrow and they hadn’t mentioned anything other than that for Saturday, so he figured it’d be a good thing to accept. If nothing else, he’d get some food, and that was a brilliant thing as his stomach was about to start loudly protesting.

“Yes, I’d like that Himura. Thank you very much for the invitation.” He quickly answered then, not wanting to debate further. “Where did you think about meeting? I don’t live in the dorms so I am afraid it’ll have to be somewhere in the city.”

“No problem. Matsushita and I are also renting while Kagome is at the dorms. We thought about meeting at that sushi place Matsushita mentioned, if you recall?” Makoto did, in fact, as he made sure to grab the address at the time, thinking restaurant recommendations were always welcome for a new person in such a large city as Tokyo. “Yes, yes I do. When did you want to meet?”

“In an hour, would that be acceptable?” Himura seemed in even better spirits now, that Makoto had said yes.

“Yes, that’ll be fine. See you then!” He exchanged the usual pleasantries and hung up, smiling to himself before realizing this meant going out, which meant finding something decent to wear and not the sweats and t-shirt he was currently garbed in. Not to mention a shower, so he jumped and hurried to get ready because he needed to catch the train if he were to be on time.

~~

Makoto felt the press of humanity behind him and tried not to smile. It was like a giant ocean wave pushing him up and towards the shore. It had been like that the very first time he arrived to Tokyo and the feeling hadn’t lessened. He wasn’t sure it would. Not resisting the push, he let it guide him to the exit and then stepped to the side, to make sure that he wouldn’t disturb anyone else while he scrolled through his phone. He needed to check the map, to make sure he would not get lost. Tokyo was huge and while he had no trouble navigating his way to University and even the few nearby shops now, anything else required double checking.

“Tachibana!”

He turned and saw a young man waving at him. He was a good deal shorter than Makoto but with a friendly, open face that sported a big smile just then, and dressed in a nice green button down and jeans making Makoto grin to himself, thinking of the uniform of younger men everywhere that they resorted to whenever in doubt. He waved back, and greeted him “Ah, Himura! Hello. Thank you for inviting me!”

“Oh it’s nothing Tachibana, thank you for accepting. I ran into Matsushita and Kagome on my way home, back from the library and Matsushita had the idea of meeting up. Shall we go? It’s this way, not a long way off.” Makoto nodded and they started walking briskly in the direction Himura pointed. “To be honest, the idea of going out was most welcome. I spent the day in the library studying and working on my paper. I share the apartment with my older brother actually, he’s also studying here and I prefer the privacy of the library.”

Makoto could certainly understand both. He was not sure he could live with another person, especially if they were both pursuing their own studies but he didn’t want to seem rude so just nodded. “Ah, yes. I spent the day studying too. I got most of it done, apart from the reading for one of the classes. A break is most welcome and food especially as I managed to miss lunch!”

“Eh! Well good that we are already here then, and look, Matsushita and Kagome have already arrived and grabbed a table for us!” Himura pointed and then entered the place, with Makoto following. They joined up, exchanged greetings and then settled down at the table. “Tachibana here hasn’t eaten since this morning so shall we order now so that he doesn’t expire on us before we even get started?” That was the first thing out of Himura’s mouth and Makoto could feel himself becoming red in the face. The other two laughed and before he could get a word in, Matsushita was agreeing loudly and the night started with food orders, and Kagome chipping in. “We need to make sure to order plenty. After all, we three are still growing boys trying to catch up with Tachibana here!”

That elicited more laughs and Makoto’s yet again red face but at the same time he felt something in him relax at the thought of possible new friends entering his life.

~~

“So, Tachibana. Where did you say you were from?” Himura put his bowl down and settled back. They had sated the first hunger already and were slowing down which seemed to be a cue for him to get the conversation started. “What sport were you involved with before? Still training or did you quit?”

Blinking at the barrage of questions thrown his way, Makoto decided that somehow this fit Himura's personality or what he'd seen of it so far. He was open with his emotions, curious and bubbly almost, making Makoto glad that the other two seemed more calm but at the same time, he couldn't help but smile at the well meaning inquiry and genuine desire to get to know Makoto. Deciding he might as well start at the top, he shrugged before answering. “Oh, Iwatobi, in the Tottori Prefecture!” He was about to go on but then his own thoughts caused him to suddenly pause. He did quit swimming competitively but not all together. The fact was though, that he hadn’t gone out to a pool in a good while and this made him frown.

“What’s with that face Tachibana? Something wrong?” interrupted Himura.

“Well, no. I used to swim, ever since I was little.  I was a member of Iwatobi Swim Club but I decided that I wanted to become a coach. Not to mention that simply put I was not good enough, to go pro I mean.”

“Oh, you competed?” Himura really was a curious one though admittedly it did get the conversation going.

“Yes, in individual and relay. We were sixth at Nationals in the relay but I did not get to compete in the individual event there. My specialty was backstroke. Coaching is what I want though so I am satisfied. I do want to keep swimming, that's for sure, it’s healthy and I do like it. It is just that I realized that I haven’t gone in a while, I must be so out of shape by now!” Makoto wondered what Haru would say to that. “I really need to find a pool and join up.”

“Sixth place is quite good, congratulations!” Himura cheered, making Makoto smile. “Did any of your friends go pro? You see, I played baseball but none of my team did. It is not easy as only the best are chosen plus it is a tough life.”

“Ah, yes. Two of my friends went pro, though one swam for a rival swimming club. We are all childhood friends. Rin also competed in the individual fly finals at Nationals though he is quite good at free too. I expect that he will compete in both disciplines in the future. He’s off training in Australia now.” This was greeted with excited murmurs and quite a few questions. They were all interested in hearing more about it, as Makoto was the only one there with any knowledge of a pro athlete training in a different country, and Australia especially was well known for producing great swimmers. Makoto had been speaking to Rin on a regular basis since he'd gone, though not as often as he'd like if he were being honest, and he had been curious himself. He did try not to overwhelm his friend, so hadn't asked too many question but the bits of information he did have, he now passed on to his new friends. It made for a lively discussion and Makoto suddenly realized that he had truly embarked on a completely new journey in his life. It differed so much from his high school days but he loved it and was eager to embrace it all.

“It is so exciting to think that just in a few years you may cheer your friend on during some big event!” Himura leaned forward towards Makoto. The other two were arguing the merits of high altitude training and have been at it for quite some time that Himura had apparently decided he’d had enough. Makoto had to bite his lip, to prevent himself from laughing. Himura truly was easy to talk to but he also had a short attention span. Unaware of Makoto's mussings, he simply plowed on. “One day too, they might cheer for one of your protégés, eh?”

“Perhaps, if I am lucky enough one day but working with kids is reward enough on its own for me.” Makoto responded. It was the truth too. While the possibility of watching the start of a new Haru or Rin excited him, it wasn't his goal. He just wanted to bring the joy of swimming to as many kids as possible, and if that eventually resulted in a new pro athlete then he would be happy of course.

“Oh? Really? You’ve already had some experience?” Himura leaned towards him across the table and Makoto unobtrusively nudged his glass to the side, hoping to prevent an accident.

“I spent some time before graduation, working for our old swim club, back in Iwatobi. The one where we all started, as elementary school kids. It’s when I realized what I wanted to do, I enjoyed it so much. I think I may even go back there, eventually, maybe take over from coach Sasabe.”

“Ah Tachibana! It must feel good when you know what your future looks like. I am still troubled.” The words came from his left, where Matsushita sat. He took a sip of his drink, sighing. “I used to swim too, much like you, way back in middle school.”

“Eh? Really?”

“Yes. But I wasn’t good enough even on that level so I moved on. I kept thinking about it though so figured this was a good way to get swimming back into my life. The world of competitive swimming is something that I am interested in but it is difficult to break into, even as a coach. I will do my best though!”

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little embarrassed but decided that giving a little encouragement could do no harm “Yes. I am sure you can do it!”

“You really think so Tachibana?”

“Yes! We shall work hard and make it!” They toasted to that, even if Makoto was only having tea.

The conversation continued then, Himura managing to somehow turn it to all the girls he'd met and which one of them he'd like to invite on a date, though he was quick to add that he really wasn't all that picky, making Makoto snicker. Matsushita was blushing suddenly and he wondered if that meant he had an interest in someone too. Makoto realized he hadn't even thought about it, but then, not like that state of things was much different to how he was in high school. He'd spent most of his time being with Haru, and the rest of his friends and swimming, and now it seemed like it would be Haru, his friends and demanding studies. He didn't really mind if he were to be truthful but he had to stop there because he was suddenly fending off Himura's questions about anyone who might have caught his interest. His denials were somehow falling on deaf ears, no matter how many times he repeated them. 

Time flew though and soon the bill was being paid and they had found themselves in front of the restaurant again, saying their good byes.

“Himura and I are going this way” pointed Kagome “and we better hurry or that train will go away without us. We should do this again, it was fun. See you on Monday!” They all exchanged greetings, Makoto and Matsushita slowly walking towards the station where he had ran into Himura previously.

“Oh, I kept meaning to ask but you said two!”

Matsushita’s sudden words confused him and he blinked a few times. “Two?”

“Yes, two of your friends went pro.”

“Ah. Yes. Well, Haruka is here in Tokyo, but being so talented I think it’s also going to go well. We’ll see as I think there is a competition somewhere early next year so I am going to go cheer. Our other friends from Iwatobi may come too, if they can.”

“I may join you Tachibana, considering this is going to be my world too in the future. And we’ll be seeing some Olympic hopefuls too I think! After all we had 11 medals last time, so I am confident it will continue.” Makoto just nodded and then continued walking quietly while Matsushita went on about the competitions. It wasn’t that he didn’t have anything to contribute, he was excited himself about the possibility but somehow he felt reluctant going into his dreams for Haru. It was private and not something he wanted to share. Luckily it went unnoticed as the other man was really enthusiastic and so they parted at the station, Matsushita waving him off with a big grin on his face. Makoto realized he was definitely ready to return home.

The gentle sway of the train had almost lulled him into a light doze and by the time he walked to his apartment, all he could think of was having a nice, warm bath and then calling it a night. He let the bathtub fill, while he checked his phone but apart from the one text from Nagisa that he was too tired to decipher right then and there, no one else had tried contacting him.  _Poor Rei_  he smirked and then quickly stripped and lowered himself in the now full tub.

 _At times like these, I understand why Haru likes this so much, though I guess it’s not the same. Still, it is like a tiny piece of heaven right now._  The notion made him smile before he glanced at his phone that he had placed within reach. He wondered if he should send a text to Haru about it but decided not to. It’s not like they wouldn’t see each other tomorrow anyway, so he just picked up a warm, wet towel and plopped it on his face, before relaxing back once again. His mind kept drifting towards the question Matsushita asked him about Haru and the subsequent talk but he was tired, and the thoughts kept slipping away, as if carried away by the gentle waves of the water.

~~

Haru kept his eye on the boiling vegetables while he worked on fixing the sauce for their lunch that day. He’d gone earlier on his usual run in order to give himself plenty of time and tried not to think too hard about the papers that he still hadn’t taken out of his bag. It was too late to deal with it anyway, as Makoto was about to come any moment, so he just dismissed it and concentrated on the meal. It was almost done and he was eager to try it out, as it was a new recipe. All the more so because Makoto would be joining him. He realized he was smiling suddenly and shook his head. He'd missed Makoto of course, he knew that, but this feeling of anticipation was somewhat odd.

Odd indeed, he sighed, especially considering that Makoto would definitely be asking about his swimming and he really did not want to go into his troubles. That meant keeping his attention diverted. He refused to call it lying. Frowning, he shook his head. It wasn't exactly telling the truth either, now was it. Haru knew it'd probably be easier if he simply shared it all with Makoto, yet he was not willing. He wasn't quite sure why. Makoto was his best friend, the person who knew him best. They'd shared so many things in their lives and hadn't he learned just recently that it was better not to keep things bottled up. Everything about Makoto ended up so confusing lately and Haru did not like it. He filed these thoughts away too, almost snorting to himself. If there was one thing he was getting better at, it was putting pesky things aside.

Just as he was putting the finishing touches on everything, the door rang and he nodded to himself. _Right on time, as usual. Better not keep him waiting._  He shuffled to the door as fast as he could and there was Makoto.  _I’ve missed you_  was the first thing on his mind but he didn’t want to embarrass either one of them.

“Makoto. Welcome.”

“Haru!”  _And there is that familiar smile_ , Haru motioned him into the genkan, suddenly feeling warm. “Come in, it’s been a while.” He took his fill of the other man, before almost shaking his head. It was still the same old Makoto, what was wrong with him.

Makoto was luckily oblivious to his nonsensical notions, and was busy trying to take his shoes off while juggling the bag he had with him before he snapped his head up, obviously giving up and passing the bag to Haru. “Oh wait, here. Just some drinks, I like this new tea, Gou told me about it when we spoke about a week ago, so I thought I’d try it. I know you said you already have tea but it’s the one you always drink so a change is needed. It’s quite good, we can have some later.”

“Gou? How is she? I haven’t talked to her since I left, I hope they’re all fine.” Haru went straight for the kitchen while Makoto looked around. “You know Haru, I haven’t actually been here before.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I haven’t been to your apartment before. What with you arriving early, and then helping me with my own move and trying to fix it up, and then this hectic week, you’ve only been to my place. This is the first time I’ve actually come here.”

“Oh!” Haru looked at him and then around his apartment. It was true that he had arrived a good two weeks prior to Makoto but the time passed quickly, trying to adjust to the new team, not to mention Kobayashi-san and that whole disaster, and then Makoto had arrived and it had slipped his mind. Another oddity he figured but in the sea of weird things lately, somehow not so surprising. “Well, it’s not like you missed much, as you can see. There’s the bedroom,” pointing to the door on the left “and it leads to the bathroom. That goes to the balcony but it’s a mess as my parents had turned it into storage for some reason. Plus this bit here and there you have it.”

“It’s still a lot more space than mine, so it is quite nice actually. Not that I need more. Though, I must admit, this is a bit bare Haru. Don’t you want to add some colour? Or even a poster or two?”

“No need really and oh here, take this or I may drop it” and handed Makoto two plates, while carrying the other bowls himself. “I’ve set the table already and this is hot.” They quickly set everything out, then wasted no time and got to eating, both of them hungry. A few bites in, Haru paused “Ah, I feel better. Where were we? Oh yes. Well no need really. It’s not like I spend much time here, now is it? With all the practice, I come home really tired and all I want is a bath and to sleep.”

“I was thinking of you while I was in the bath last night.”

“Ha?” he looked at Makoto, waiting for him to continue, but Makoto was waving his hands around, having choked on his noodles and Haru didn’t know what to do but thump him on his back repeatedly. He then handed him a glass of water when he seemed a bit calmer. Makoto gulped it down then turned towards Haru, face beet red. “No, no, I did not mean it that way.”

“What way?”

The whole thing was curious as Makoto was now pretty much changing colours before he took a deep breath and shook his head. “Never mind.” He slowly turned towards his food again and continued on, obviously intent on ignoring whatever caused his upset. “I was tired from all the studying and then I had a night out with some of the guys from University and a nice soak was just what it took to relax me. I thought how this must be how Haru feels when he is in a bath.”

Haru though was focused on something else Makoto mentioned. “A night out?”

“Oh yes! I was invited for a meal by these guys I met at University. We don’t all have the same classes but we had lunch a couple of times this week, it kind of just happened, and they called. Everyone needed a break from studying I think. How is practice going? Met any of the other swimmers properly yet?”

Makoto looked at him with a curious expression on his face, eyebrows raised, and Haru found himself glancing away and muttering. “No, not really.”

“Haru! You really ought to at least try and meet some of them. It's good to socialize a little with them, you'll be spending years together in the same club. Not to mention that you never know, maybe you’ll end up swimming the relay with one of them in the future! You also haven’t answered me about practice.”

“Practice is as usual. I run in the mornings, as you know and then pool and gym time.” Haru shrugged, then continued, trying his best to make it all sound normal. He really didn't want to lie to Makoto but what else could he do. “There’s really nothing much to tell, you know how it goes.” Makoto opened his mouth, obviously to ask more about it, and it really was understandable, considering that now he was studying to be a coach himself and the details about a professional athlete must be interesting to him. Haru though simply pressed on, not having much choice. “And I’m not going to swim the relay again.”

“Wait! What do you mean you’re not going to swim in the relay again? You could find yourself invited you know, the Japanese National team always has relays!” Haru just waved him away and stood to take the now empty bowls to the sink “No, I am just competing in the individual events. No relays.” Makoto was left looking after him but he really didn’t see what else was there to say. He was done with it all.

Haru took a few more bites of his food, Makoto silent at his side. This wasn't really how he envisioned their day so he searched for another, lighter topic. The solution soon presented itself when he remembered what he'd just been told and he started asking questions about Makoto's new acquaintances. That seemed to do the trick as Makoto was soon retelling the night and Haru relaxed. The trio seemed nice and he was glad for it. Himura especially seemed like a hoot and he had to be careful not to choke a couple of times at some of his more outrageous statements.

Makoto was animated and joyous, and Haru finally felt himself relax, for the first time since Makoto had arrived. This was what he wanted, what he needed. He wasn't sure why and what had changed exactly but he was at least sure of that much. The topic shifted to Makoto's studies but it was equally welcome, and Haru just leaned back, his food left abandoned. Enjoying Makoto's sunny expression and the obvious love he had for the things he was learning, Haru smiled. Makoto seemed so eager to embrace the future, that Haru could almost feel some of it transferring to him, lifting his spirits. He had stayed like that, until Makoto poked him about his meal, and he had to grin sheepishly, refusing to admit he'd simply forgotten. He'd have had to explain why then and he knew he could not. They talked about Nagisa and Rei then, and Nagisa's weird text messages, and Rin, and even Gou, and time flew quickly for Haru, who felt happy.

He’d washed and put away the dishes once they were done, refusing to let Makoto help him, he was his guest after all, before returning to the living room only to find Makoto standing looking out of the window. “It’s a nice view,” Haru said, as he moved to join him.

“Yes, yes it is. Not quite like our tree but not bad.” Makoto gave him another one of his gentle smiles and Haru shook his head, looking at the inner park that his apartment looked at. Autumn was coming and the view really was beautiful.

He preferred their tree too.

It was like this sometimes, when he was with Makoto. When the silence would have been uncomfortable with someone else, when he was with Makoto he could just be. It was a gift he did not take lightly and he hoped he’d never lose that. Things were changing, Haru could feel it, see it. Makoto smiled that same gentle smile, his eyes still the same but he could see subtle changes too. He was becoming an adult, they both were.  _Who are we going to become?_  Tokyo was as a big as an ocean to him and Makoto the coral reef that others would flock to. It would be so easy to get lost among those who wanted to find shelter and companionship there.

“Haru?”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s have lunch like this every Sunday.”

~~

The park was almost empty at that time of the morning, as usual. He was passing through a tunnel formed by the trees and all that he could hear was the thump, thump, thump of his shoes. The road ahead was lit by the sun rays that managed to get through the thick canopy. Haru wondered if for some, no matter how many they visit, there is only ever one port they’d truly call home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So this is probably going to be a long one, so slow paced, but quite a few chapters have already been written, so it shouldn't be too slow when it comes to posting at least. I've been reading fanfic for a long while and finally decided that I might as well write the story about these two, that I have been wanting to read but somehow kept not finding.  
> It's slow and some things are adjusted, for example the year this story starts is 2013, school year fits the Western schedule (we'll just pretend Todai got that suggestion through because I'm too dumb to keep everything straight in my head otherwise), but I tried keeping those to a minimum. There's very little Naigsa and Rei in this work, just a heads up for those who need them present, though they are mentioned, and it has Sourin as a secondary pairing. Oh Iwao means stone man, hence Haru's thoughts ;) All mistakes are mine and Mako, Haru & co are of course KyoAni's.


	2. Chapter 2

#  Chapter 2

 

There were flowers everywhere.

From the hanging multi-coloured begonias and orange dahlias to the one he could not identify but kept being drawn to, due to its vivid purple and pink pedant blooms that hung as if reaching towards him. The small clusters of flowers arranged on the floor of daylilies and iris made him smile and think of his grandmother. Makoto hadn’t seen her in such a long time. Making a mental note to call her, he continued walking around. Eventually he even spotted a few rows of chrysanthemums and marvelled at their beauty, thinking that it really was no wonder they were so revered.

_It’s all so lovely. And I have absolutely no idea what to get him._

They were supposed to have their fourth Sunday lunch tomorrow and Makoto had been progressively more pleased that he had asked if they could make it a regular event. He had felt embarrassed at the time but something inside of him had been insistent, pushing for it, the mood of that whole first afternoon somehow strange and strained, so he’d ended up blurting it out. Luckily, Haru had seemed happy enough to agree to them and as weeks passed Makoto was more and more grateful that he had worked through the embarrassment. _Something is definitely wrong, it’s obvious. Well, to me, anyway._

Now that he thought back, it had started innocently enough. Whenever he had asked about the club and the practices he’d get a short answer how everything was going well. He hadn’t even noticed at first that Haru was deflecting. It was when Haru had told yet another joke about it, that he had realized that he was avoiding the subject. All those instances had come together and it was as if a curtain had been lifted. Makoto had tried small questions since then, poking here and there, sometimes unexpectedly but nothing had worked. It was always a smile or a hand wave, and a generic everything was just fine.

_He would never avoid talking about swimming, especially to me, if it were all right. I wish he would at least just say there’s a problem, but then again, it is Haru. I suppose I could breach the topic directly, even if it’d probably embarrass us both but that doesn’t guarantee he’d talk._

Yesterday, during lunch, he’d sat and stared into space wondering what to do about it all, when he got accosted by his three new friends. They’d noticed he was a little off and Himura being the outgoing sort just would not stop pestering him for answers. In the end Makoto had blurted out that he’d forgotten to take a house warming gift to a friend and was now thinking about what to get him, because he was visiting again. It was sort of true anyway because it had slipped his mind that first time he’d gone to Haru’s. Not surprising really, considering, but ever since he just could not think of anything. Time had passed and he was more awkward about it, almost deciding to forego it.

They’d spent their lunch then throwing out suggestions, from goldfish, which made Makoto smile to a stuffed weasel. Himura really was out there sometimes. Right in the middle of that he had realized he might use this opportunity to breach the topic of whatever was wrong with Haru and had started taking it seriously.  In the end, it had been Kagome who had come up with the idea of a flower and had given him directions to a nursery that should hold anything he may desire. It seemed like a good suggestion, Haru should be able to take care of it easily and remembering how bare Haru’s apartment was, a splash of colour would certainly be welcome and cheering.

Which is how he found himself surrounded by flowers and little buzzing insects on a Saturday, with absolutely no idea what to choose from so many options.

He figured he might as well look for an employee, when he heard a throat being cleared behind him. Makoto turned and then looked down. A slight, older lady looked up at him and bowed.

“Good afternoon, welcome to the Shikoku Nursery.”

“Good afternoon, thank you for taking care of me.”

“How may I help you today?” she smiled at him and waited patiently while Makoto fumbled for words. He wasn’t quite sure what he actually wanted, that was the main problem. He didn't know enough about flowers, aside from their beauty and the most common names he had picked up thanks to his grandmother.

“I am looking for a flower.” He blushed because talk about stating the obvious and tried again. “I mean for a friend.”

“A particular occasion?”

“Well, no. Or rather, it is a housewarming gift, so in that sense, yes.” He nodded and wondered how to explain the rest without sounding even more muddled. It was a bit embarrassing, especially as he wasn’t even sure what was going on with Haru but he still wanted to do something special. The old lady was a stranger but he was stuck and needs must. Makoto rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat. “The important thing is that I would like it to be meaningful.”

“I can certainly help you with that one. Anything can be expressed thanks to the language of flowers.”

“The language of flowers?” He frowned because while he’d heard it mentioned a few times, he didn’t really know anything about it.

“Ah! Young people! Yes, language of flowers. When I was young everyone knew Hanakotoba. The flower that you send or take as a gift can be a message in itself. You just need to decide what that message is. Come!” she said and then walked slowly down the lane pointing first at a beautiful pink flower, then others as she continued on. “Amaryllis, to send a message that you are shy. Then if you secretly love someone, send them gardenias. Of course, when doing this you must also be mindful of the colours, because the meaning changes. Red camellias signify that you’re in love while yellow that you are longing for love.”

Makoto wondered for a second if she thought that he was looking for something for a potential girlfriend and blushed. His stomach though did another one of those weird little flip flops but he had to focus as she continued talking and pointing out flowers, before reaching another pink one in full bloom. “Narcissus, you might send that one to boost a person’s self-esteem, if they are feeling troubled.” Makoto stopped and looked at it. It was undoubtedly beautiful and definitely a splash of colour that he figured would do well in Haru’s apartment. He wasn’t sure though that this would be the right one, he felt presumptuous because Haru kept saying everything was fine.

If he was being honest, what really hurt him was that Haru would lie to him. He’d realized this was exacerbated by the whole thing from the summer. Makoto wanted to think they were closer now, would come to the other for help. He wanted to believe that Haru knew he could talk to Makoto or just tell him how he feels. That even if not everything was good, Makoto would still be there for him, if only to listen just like he knew that Haru would be there for him, in both the good and the bad moments.

In the end, Haru didn’t even have to say anything at all. That was the crux of it.

Makoto just wanted him to stop pretending.

He sighed before looking at the woman. “It’s beautiful but not quite right.” They could go on like that for quite a while he knew because she was guessing. If he wanted that one perfect thing, he’d have to be more precise, no matter how embarrassing. “We’ve been best friends since childhood and we’ve just moved to Tokyo from a small town on the coast.”

“It is not easy moving to the big city, lots of new people, new experiences. Things change.”

Makoto felt a twinge at her words but shook his head though that was exactly the point, as far as he could see it. “Eh. Yes. Yes, but some do not. We will always be friends, and I feel blessed to have him in my life.” He was beet red by the time he managed to say all that, and he was also staring at his shoes, but it was like he had to if he were to try and convey his true feelings.

“I see. Come, I think I may know what you need.”

~~

“Nanase!”

Haru contemplated drowning. He wasn’t quite sure if it would be himself or Kobayashi-san. Maybe both.

“What did I say not two hours ago? Are even you listening Nanase? Out! Get dressed and come to my office.” The words were delivered in a loud, cutting voice, before his coach stalked off to talk to another swimmer. For a brief instant, Haru pondered if he should try and find him later and apologize to the guy for what was bound to be an unpleasant conversation but he quickly shrugged it off as he really didn’t need any more trouble.

He slowly submerged himself again, feeling the water all around him. It seemed like it was gently pushing at him from all sides, as if asking what was wrong. He honestly wasn’t himself lately but then he just couldn’t be. Not like this, the way it was being demanded. And if Haru couldn’t do that, he couldn’t swim. The problem was he had tried explaining to Kobayashi-san, not two weeks ago but he hadn’t gotten very far before he got dismissed, as speaking nonsense.

Knowing it was no good to procrastinate, he got out of the pool and slowly made his way to the locker rooms, head down. He stopped to grab a towel and was about to move on, when another voice stopped him.

“Nanase. Wait.”

He turned and frowned. The tall swimmer coming his way was vaguely familiar but he hadn’t talked to any of them past the initial introductions and he was having difficulties recalling his name.

“Hamasaki Akira. We met a few weeks ago, right after you joined us. I swim breaststroke.”

“Ah, yes. I remember. I really have to get going though, Kobayashi-san is waiting for me.”

“Yes, I heard. We all did.” He cringed a bit at that before hastily continuing. “I just wanted to say, do not get discouraged. You are not going to get cut Nanase.”

“Cut?!”

Hamasaki smiled awkwardly, blushing a bit now. “Ah, yes. I am sorry, I didn’t mean to add to your problems but having heard it all, I was thinking that you might be worried over it. I did not imagine that you may not know of the possibility.” He waved his arm around and gave Haru a friendly shoulder slap. “As I said though, do not worry about it! Nobody gets let go before the official team meet, which should probably be around February, and even then it is frankly rare. I do not know what Kobayashi-san will say but it is not that. At least, not at the moment?” He groaned and hung his head. "I'm really not helping, am I?"

Haru blinked at him. “It makes sense they would not hold on to swimmers who weren’t performing up to standards I guess. I just wasn’t thinking about it. Well, nothing do be done now, it is what it is.” He nodded at the other man. “Thank you Hamasaki, I do appreciate it though.”

“Ahh, I feel bad now, I honestly didn’t mean to add to your worries but believe me, it is going to be fine.” He looked around a bit helplessly before his face lit up and he grinned at Haru. “I will wait for you!”

“No, no need!”

“It’s always easier when you have a friendly face waiting! Good luck! I will be in front of the building!” He gave Haru a small bow and was off before Haru was able to get a word in. Deciding he really could not think about that now, he had a quick shower and then changed, before jogging to the administrative part of the building. _Taking too long would just put Kobayashi-san in a worse mood anyway. If that’s even possible at this point._

It only took a few minutes before Haru was staring at the name plate that was proclaiming the office to be that of Kobayashi Iwao _. It is what it is._ He knocked and was greeted by a loud “Come in Nanase.” Kobayashi-san was seated behind a large desk, filled with papers and various folders, with a whiteboard behind him, swimmers’ schedules written all over it. Haru bowed in greeting and then remained standing. _I wish he’d just get on with it._

“I have several Olympic hopefuls training with me Nanase. They are following my instructions without problems. Other coaches here work in similar ways. So what am I to do with you? Please, do not start again with your pointless explanations. I do not want to hear any more about the water. If you cannot swim like a normal person, then I am unable to train you. Water is not alive …”

_But it is._

“… and it cannot influence how you swim …”

_But it does._

“… and this is not some hippy commune! It’s a serious swim club! Professional athletes leave their everything and more in that pool because they want to achieve their dreams and I am not going to waste my time on you any more if you are not willing to listen to me.”

Kobayashi shuffled some of his papers, then drew one out, handing it to Haru. “Your new schedule, I’ve emailed the copy to you as well. Use the time as you see fit. You will work under the supervision of Nakamura-san. He has quite a few swimmers who are trying to work up to higher levels because they’ve been burdened by injuries so don’t waste his time. If you have not shown improvement, and I am quite certain that you will not, by the time we have the club meet, I will speak to Mizushima-san about you leaving the team. That is all, you may go.” He promptly returned to his work and Haru was left standing, holding the paper.

His fingers clutched at it and he turned on his heel, intent on leaving as quickly as possible. In some corner of his mind a voice was saying he hadn’t even said a proper good bye but at that moment he honestly could not be bothered.

Haru wanted out of there.

His feet carried him down the corridors and stairs, his mind blank apart from the desire to get to his home and submerge himself in the water. Alone, he wanted to be alone.

“How did it go?”

The words stopped him in his tracks and he almost groaned out loud. Hamasaki was indeed waiting for him and truthfully, Haru didn’t feel up to the task of being social. _At least now I have an acceptable reason for it, I hope._ “I am to train with Nakamura’s group, until the club competition.”

“Well, this calls for drinks!”

“Eh?” That certainly wasn’t the reaction he was expecting, or hoping for.

“Come on Nanase, I know a place with good food and we can get a drink, or three!” Haru was about to decline because they didn’t even know each other and he was not in the mood to go through the difficult dance of introductions. He’d much rather stick his head in the sand for a little while and ignore all of this. Or water in his case. At the last moment though, he remembered Makoto. Makoto that kept asking about any new friends from the club and sighed. _Might as well go, he seems like an ok guy and it is a good idea to get something to eat now, as I don’t have the will to cook anyway._

“All right, lead the way.” There was no way he sounded anything but resigned, but he hoped that it wouldn’t come across as terribly rude considering his current situation. Hamasaki just nodded and then smiled, getting them going.

They took the train back to Tokyo, as it turned out they both lived there and not close to the club, with Hamasaki filling the silence here and there about where he was from and prodding Haru for similar information. Trying his best to be polite, he answered and followed along. Hamasaki ended up leading them to a little hole in the wall place, and Haru was at first dubious, eyeing the cramped space. Hamasaki kept prodding him into getting a proper meal, saying how not only do they have to eat due to their training but it would make him feel better.

Haru had snorted but complied. The food did prove to be pretty good then and his mind got blissfully occupied by tastes and smells for a short while until Hamasaki brought him back down to earth.

“So, pawned off to the struggling group, ah?”

“Yes, I have until the club meet. If I do not do well enough, though he did not say what the actual goal was, not that it matters anyway, he will see about me being cut.”

Hamasaki hummed, obviously thinking the whole thing over, and Haru found himself feeling surprised. They were practically strangers and yet he was genuinely interested in helping. Sipping his water, he decided that maybe trying to actually get to know him wouldn’t be so bad. He blinked at his own thoughts, figuring sometimes unexpectedly good things could come out of what was essentially a giant mess.

“You could always get someone else to coach you.” Hamasaki shrugged. “Nakamura-san won’t bother with you much. From everything I’ve heard, most of his attention goes to those who are recovering from injuries. The only thing he will care about is that you keep showing up. That leaves you with plenty of room to manoeuvre. Any ideas?”

Sighing, Haru shook his head. “No, I don’t know anyone here in Tokyo who could, and I doubt my old coach from Iwatobi does either. He never went past our swim club there. Most people have their own jobs anyway.”

“It is not easy, you know. I mean I saw you swimming when you first came and it was truly something to see.” Hamasaki coloured a bit at that but continued on anyway. “I understood why Mizushima-san himself recruited you.”

“Eh? You know about that?”

Hamasaki laughed and nodded “We all do. He doesn’t usually do that you know? He leaves it to the scouts normally. He must have seen something in you though, if he did. I wonder…” he paused as if unsure whether to continue, “I wonder if that is part of the problem with Kobayashi-san. He is very set in his ways so he may not have approved of something so unorthodox. When you did not get along, he may have felt more inclined to believe it was not a good move and that he had been right all along that skipping the usual way of doing things was bad. He is a very by the book kind of man. But,” and he shrugged again there, “it doesn’t even matter now. You could try asking for a meeting with Mizushima-san?”

Head bowed, staring at his rice, Haru gave it a poke or two and then shook his head. “No, I do not wish for any special treatment. I will do it myself.”

“All right. I will help any way I can.”

“Hamasaki…”

“No, no Nanase. I saw you swim that first day, I told you. I’ve never seen someone swim that way before. I think I understand why Mizushima-san chose you. He’s my coach you know. But these last few weeks? That was not the same. You are going to do it basically alone, so if I can help in any way, I will. I want to see you swim that way again. I’m not sure how much I can do, but I will try.”

All Haru could do was bow. “Thank you Hamasaki.”

“Nothing to thank me for! Especially not after I traumatized you at the start.” He smirked and Haru sensed his own lips quirk in a small smile. "Now let’s get a couple of drinks, just one each mind you, we are in training, and toast to it. We will do our best!”

“Yes, we will do our best!”

They switched to lighter subjects, Haru finally fully telling the story of where he was from, and even volunteering a few things, like that his friend Rin was also swimming, which got Hamasaki’s eyes sparkling and firing a whole barrage of questions on how his training was going and how different the approach was to theirs. Haru actually hadn’t talked to Rin since his troubles started getting quite bad because Rin would have seen right through him but he knew enough, and if Haru could talk about one thing, it was swimming so he found himself actually quite enjoying the outing.

Eventually they got ready to leave and Haru decided that in spite of it all, it had been an all right day. Smiling shyly, he inclined his head.

“My train is that way.”

“Ah, I go this way. Well, I had fun, even if these are not the best circumstances. I will call you tomorrow Nanase, I know you said alone but I’ll ask if any of my friends know anyone willing to coach at least part-time.”

“Thank you Hamasaki! I am home on Sundays and oh! Yes, since you are from Tokyo, I just remembered. Do you think you could recommend a nice pool where a good friend can join for some recreational swimming? He used to compete but even if he hasn’t gone pro, he wants to continue swimming.”

“Oh yes, no problem, actually. My older sister is a member of a nice club, so I’ll call you about the details! Good night then, talk to you soon.”

“Good night Hamasaki, and thank you.”

He boarded his train that was luckily half empty considering it was already late and found a seat. With his head against the window, he closed his eyes. _How did things get so complicated, so fast?_

_At least Makoto will be happy to know I made an actual acquaintance._

_I might not be too unhappy about it either._

~~

Lying in bed later on, Haru twisted and turned unable to fall asleep, any good feelings from the evening slowly being pushed aside by the rest. He was being plagued by the idea of not swimming fast enough and the knowledge that he would have to succeed, if he wanted to fulfil his dream. But his times had been getting worse, which meant that he would have to make up ground to just reach where he was, never mind any progress. Haru was aware this wasn’t going to be easy, and having to do it on his own made it twice as hard.

Not to mention that he couldn’t concentrate on finding a solution. The image of his now former coach kept floating in front of his eyes, as if taunting him. This fierce desire to show him that he was wrong, that Haru was worth the risk Mizushima-san took kept clouding his mind. Certain that if he’d just given him an opportunity, things would have been different, he was haunted by thoughts of swimming like never before. It was almost consuming him and he had to struggle to focus on actually trying to find a way out of this. Daydreaming about success wasn’t going to help.

He wondered if he should talk to Makoto.

 _But what am I even going to say? Oh hey, I wasn’t exactly telling you the truth all those times you asked about practice. It’s not going well, it’s actually going terribly. Yes, I lied._ Haru stared at the wall in the dark. _Why did I lie?_ That last question rattled around his head, echoing.

_Why did I lie?_

_Because you don’t want to admit it to Makoto. Admitting it to Makoto makes it real. Because what if you can’t be a professional swimmer? What if it doesn’t work out?_ He kept thinking about their fight. They never fought before that. It was different from the times he and Rin argued. Challenging each other, fighting, screaming, that was who Rin and Haru were. They were two currents, hot and cold, clashing in the ocean. They met and made things grow, happen, in a giant clash of waves.

Fighting with Makoto though scared him. It made him feel helpless. He hadn’t known how to fix things. He felt like he was drowning. He didn’t want to argue again.

Haru flopped on his back and sighed _. Except that I am going to have to tell him the truth, sooner or later. There’s no avoiding it now._

Pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes, he groaned in frustration. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of going back to Iwatobi, back to his childhood haven, having done nothing. He had a dream now, he had finally found it and he was not going to let it go. Haru wanted to swim _._

_Swim with Rin, with all those other athletes there. Swim in all those different places._

He wanted to win too. He could admit it to himself, like this, late at night, when the only sounds were the soft huffs and sighs of a sleeping city around him. He could admit to the blinding desire, hidden deep within him. _I want to win. I want to win it all._

 _I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to be the one who fails at achieving his goal. I don’t want to feel this sense of shame for having failed._ He closed his eyes and balled his hands into fists, feeling his nails digging into his palms.

_And I don’t want Makoto to be ashamed of me._

~~

Makoto stood in front of Haru’s apartment and wiped his hands on his jeans one more time _. Honestly, I better get in because two neighbours already passed by and saw me standing here. Someone will end up calling the police in the end, thinking I’m a weird stalker or something._ He rang the doorbell and nodded to himself. _Nothing to be nervous about anyway. It’s just Haru._ He almost snorted at that because honestly, who was he kidding, but Haru chose just then to open the door.

“Oh Makoto! Come in, am just finishing a phone call.” Haru went straight back into the apartment and Makoto shuffled in after him, almost laughing at how anticlimactic that ended up being _._ He left his shoes in the genkan and then stood awkwardly in the living room, waiting for Haru who was writing something down. Fiddling with the bag in his hands, he tried to decide if he should put it somewhere and wait for the right moment. The very idea of postponing made him cringe though so simply getting it over with seemed the best.

“Makoto!”

“Eh?”

“You’ve been staring into space, I’ve called your name three times now. Are you all right?”

“Ah, yes. Fine. I’m sorry.”

“Is this some new tea again?” Haru gestured at the bag. “I mean, I don’t mind but we’ve got a lot of tea now, from the previous weeks. I did dip twice into the one you chose two weeks ago though, it’s very good.”

“I forgot tea.” Makoto groaned. “I had it picked out yesterday and I forgot it at my apartment. I can’t believe it.”

“Makoto, it doesn’t matter.” Haru’s voice was soothing but Makoto was on edge and this wasn’t helping. “I just told you we have plenty from the previous weeks. It’s almost as if we’re starting a collection. It’ll hold till next week.” Haru raised his eyebrows expectantly. “What did you bring then?”

 _Well that takes it out of my hands. Why am I making this into such a big deal?_ Makoto cleared his throat and then pulled the flower pot out of the bag. He was worried that he might squish the flowers so he didn’t even attempt to wrap it in anything else. Now he questioned if maybe he should have tried at least with the pot itself but too late. He bowed and offered it to Haru with both hands.

For a few seconds, there was only silence and then a soft “Oh!” from Haru. Makoto peeked through his hair and he could see the wonder on Haru's face, with one finger gently touching one of the nodding flowers. He remembered well that moment when the old lady at the nursery had lifted it out of one of the multi-coloured clusters. His first thought had been that it was just like the colour of Haru’s eyes _._ When she had explained what she had in mind when she chose it, he truly knew he had his gift. Perfect. It was perfect.

“It’s beautiful Makoto. But why?”

“Ah, you see. I forgot to give you a gift, for house-warming, for your new apartment.”

“Oh! It really is beautiful! Thank you.” There was a flash of something, some other emotion there, before Haru reached to take it but Makoto felt like he could not let go just yet.

“I also know there is something worrying you. No, please. We’ve known each other for too long. And,” he took a deep breath, forcing the words out, “I do not want a repeat of the end of our senior year _.” This is the first time either one of us mentioned it, since that talk, next to the pond. But we are both changing and we have to talk about things, even if it’s not easy for us._ “I know you Haru and it’s difficult for me when you say everything’s all right but I can see that it isn’t. You don’t have to tell me everything but please don’t pretend. Whatever it is, I am always going to be your friend, who stands with you. Just please don’t pretend.”

He looked directly at him, with a fleeting thought that he had been right and it truly was the colour of Haru’s eyes before nodding once. “So, this flower. Bluebells signify that I’m grateful. I’m grateful for you and our friendship.” He let go of the flower pot then and gave him a small, shy smile.

~~

Haru felt like he was under water.

It was like the blue of the flowers had slowly expanded as Makoto spoke to him and then there was only silence left. He was cradled in the gentle embrace of the water, safe and at peace.

“Haru?” Makoto’s wobbly voice pulled him out of it and he bowed low, holding the precious flower carefully in his arms.

“Thank you, Makoto.”

He remained that way for a few moments, knowing that finding the words to properly covey his feelings was an impossible task. At the same time he knew that Makoto understood. _He always does. But yes, maybe, just maybe, some things do need to be said too._ He walked to the window and turned. “Here, don’t you think?”

“Ah, yes, that seems the best.”

Haru made sure to carefully place it on the little ledge and then fussed with it, turning the pot this way and that, until he finally found the right angle so that the flowers were displayed against the window, which would also get them enough sun. He could hear Makoto walking up to him and just quietly standing behind him.

Looking at him, he laid a hand on Makoto’s arm and smiled. “Come, let’s have lunch!”

They’d eaten, washed the dishes and then Haru watched Makoto brew them tea. He had done so every Sunday, claiming that he wanted to do something too since Haru was the one who cooked. Haru didn’t put up much of a fight over it apart from token protests because he’d realized that this give and take made him feel surprisingly warm. That’s how they found themselves sitting in the living room, on Haru’s couch, sipping the hot liquid.

“I have something for you.”

“Oh?” Makoto smiled slowly. “A gift?”

Haru nodded towards the paper sitting next to his phone. “Remember how you asked me about finding a pool here, where you could still swim recreationally? Well, that’s the name and address of quite a good one.” He blew softly at his cup and smiled. “I asked another swimmer, we went out for drinks yesterday. His sister is a member and he says that it’s not too far from your apartment either.”

“Oh! Then it is a gift indeed. Thank you Haru.” Makoto grinned at him and while Haru could see he was happy, there was also a slight disappointment lurking just below the surface.

He knew how to make it go away. It was just difficult.

The rain started outside and they could hear it now, big drops drumming against the window. A dog was barking somewhere and the sun was slowly setting.

Haru kept glancing at the flower, thinking about what Makoto had said to him and thought that he understood Makoto’s feelings. There had been no other questions, no other requests. It was up to him now to choose. Thinking back on Makoto’s words, the sincerity of them, how it must have been difficult for Makoto too, to open up in that way, he suddenly knew there really was only one choice for him.

“I’ve had trouble with my coach.” Makoto was a silent shadow next to him on the couch. “I just cannot do some things Makoto. It is not me. I need to swim free.” The pounding of the water on the sill grew louder and he wondered if his soft words could even be heard or if they were being drowned out. “I need to feel the water. I need it to feel me.”

He could barely see the bluebells now.

“So. He’s let me go. I am to swim with the group of the struggling swimmers until the Ryuujin meet and I suppose if I don’t post the satisfactory times, I’ll be cut from the program. The coach running the new group seems to focus on those recovering from injuries. I need to be there but that’ll be that.”

Haru finished his tea and got up. He left the cup on the table and stood looking through the window, not seeing. His hand gently stroked the flowers in a lulling rhythm of the rain.

“So you are on your own.” Makoto’s soft voice came from behind him. He didn’t hear him get up or walk over. Haru gave a tiny, almost imperceptible shrug and just kept facing the window.

“Don’t think about it. Don’t think about possibly being dismissed from the team.”

Haru turned and looked at Makoto who had an unusual, fierce expression on his face. It was as if Makoto had heard all his unspoken thoughts, cutting straight to the core. Haru wasn’t surprised though, it was Makoto after all. “Of course you want to make it but focusing on that too much will not be productive. Just train, do your best and what happens, happens. Just swim Haru; that is what you love to do. Make your goal just swimming the best you can, put all you are into it. Making the cut, or not, has no place here.” Makoto’s hands grab his arms but Haru kept his silence.

“Only then will you truly be free.”

They stayed that way, for how long, Haru wasn’t sure.

The sun set.

~~

Makoto closed the locker door, grabbed his towel and walked towards the pool. Himura was already there, waving at him from the edge. He sighed and shook his head. When he had casually mentioned the other day he’d found a pool to swim in and exercise, he did not expect the other three to ask to join him. They were not interested in a monthly membership, the like he got, but they did enjoy swimming so figured they’d keep him company once in a while.

It was just that Makoto wanted to swim and not waste time goofing around. He waved to them but did not bother engaging in conversation. Instead he went into a set of exercises. It soon became apparent to him that he’d fallen out of shape and that he better warm up well _._ Resolving to never leave it that long again, he concentrated. He could see Himura diving out of the corner of his eye and Matsushita and Kagome soon followed. He ignored them though and went through the whole set they used to do when practicing back in Iwatobi, before finally walking to the pool’s edge and the lane he wanted to use.

_Hello old friend._

_I think I’ve been listening to Haru for way too long._

Jumping in, he submerged himself and then popped out grinning. He fixed his goggles, assumed his customary backstroke start position and set off.

Makoto started slow but soon he felt himself fall into an easy rhythm. His body knew this and he could feel the muscles stretching in well-known ways, straining to keep up the pace he wanted. His arms moving in familiar patterns, his legs kicking. Turn, push off the wall. He’d been swimming since he was a child and he knew he wanted to share this joy with as many as he could, by teaching them. Feeling calm and centred, in a way very few other things could make him, the last thought through his mind before he completely lost himself in the swim made him smile.

_Perhaps Haru isn’t so wrong after all._

~~

An hour later, he was ready to call it a day. His muscles ached and protested and he knew he was at his current limit. Makoto slowly dragged himself up the ladder and was about to go locate his towel when the sound of “Tachibana, oi!” interrupted him. He looked over and saw that the other three were also done so walked to their little group.

Kagome was looking at him with his head cocked to the side. “When you say you want to exercise, you really do mean it Tachibana!” He waved his hand at the pool. “That was some swim. I guess it was to be expected, you did train seriously until only recently. I don’t think any of us could have kept up with you!”

Makoto was blushing, so just rubbed his neck. “Ah no, no, I am sure that you could. It is just that I am used to a routine by now so got into it quickly. I had to take it a bit easier there at the end. I haven’t exercised in too long.” He shook his head, snorting to himself. “I wonder what my old team mates would say to that. I think I would earn a scolding from our old manager for sure.” Makoto spotted Himura rubbing his shoulder and shook his head.

“You know Himura, there is a reason why we warm up. You really should know better. Did you pull something?”

“No, I think it’s nothing. You’re right though, we all should have.”

“Oi!” Matsushita dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “I did. Speak for yourself. It was good seeing you swim Tachibana, I can tell you enjoy it. Shall we go?”

“Yes, let’s. I am tired. I think I’ll stick to running for a while.” Himura grumbled as they made their way towards the locker rooms. “Maybe you should,” Kagome smirked at that, “after all, you only managed to fall once the other day.”

“Is this kick Himura day?” Everyone laughed and sent more friendly jabs his way and Makoto thought they really were becoming friends.

They changed and chatted for a little while before saying their good byes. Luckily, it didn’t take long for him to get back home. The pool actually was close, well, by Tokyo standards, so he managed not to fall asleep on the train. Too tired to even think about cooking, he just grabbed an energy bar and sat down, relaxing for a few minutes _._ It had been wonderful to swim again but he was going to feel that one tomorrow. He still considered it worth it though and it hopefully shouldn’t take too long for him to get back to acceptable fitness.

 _I don’t remember when was the last time I was this relaxed. Probably that night in the bath before the first Sunday I went to Haru's._ He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks at the memory of that misunderstanding before he pushed it aside. He refused to think about that. Glancing at the time on his phone, he decided he could still call Haru. It rang a few times and just as he was about to hang up, he heard a muffled “Makoto?”

“Haru! Did I wake you? Never mind, go back to sleep.”

“No, no, am in the bath, just a second.” And indeed, he could now hear the sounds of water splashing as if Haru was trying to find a comfortable spot. _Of course you are in the bath. You’re Haru._ He smirked, then decided there’s nothing wrong with saying that aloud too. Teasing Haru was always fun. “Of course you are. You wouldn’t be you otherwise.” A snort came from the other side and he smiled.

“I could have been asleep.”

“And pigs will fly tomorrow.”

Another snort was his reward, followed by Haru clearing his throat. “Did you go swimming Makoto?”

“Yes, it was wonderful. I missed it, can’t wait to go back.”

“Of course it was and of course you did. It’s swimming. But it’s a good pool?”

“Yes, Haru. It’s a good pool.” Makoto stretched himself out on his tiny sofa, legs dangling over the edge. “How was yours?” passed his lips before he could think about it and he closed his eyes. He really didn’t mean to push Haru about this. He said he’d listen when necessary, when Haru needed him to but that did not mean he should just outright ask.

“Not good.” _Huh. Well, apparently Haru doesn’t mind. Might as well push a bit more_.

“Not good?”

“No.” Makoto let the silence stretch this time. He knew Haru had to take some of the steps in this new communication of theirs himself. It couldn’t be just Makoto asking. Haru had to offer too.

“You were right the other night.” Haru’s soft voice startled him and felt a burst of happiness that Haru did want to share this with him. “It’s just difficult. I keep being reminded of what’s at stake just by being there, it’s hard to clear my head. I’m not sure why, swimming usually did that for me but now it’s like I’m stuck.” The sound of more splashing reached Makoto's ears before Haru continued. “Hamasaki called, to check up on me.”

Makoto frowned. He was oddly bothered by the idea that Haru would discuss this with someone else before he firmly told himself to stop being stupid. It was much better if Haru could talk to as many people as possible, another active swimmer might especially be able to help.

_But Haru doesn’t open up to people. And when he does, I want that person to be me._

He was so startled by his own possessive thought that he almost missed Haru’s next words. “I told him I was training hard. Which is the truth and there is no point in worrying him more. He can’t help anyway.” Makoto was about to agree but then stopped himself. _No. Haru comes first here._ “Maybe you should try talking to him in any case Haru. You never know.”

“No. He wouldn’t understand anyway, you do. I talk to you.”

 _Why am I this pleased over such a statement?_ Makoto shook his head and decided it is still just a consequence of their previous troubles. He was silent for a while, Haru too on his end when he realized what Haru had said. If the club pool was reminding him, then the solution was right there in front of them. “Haru. I have an idea. Why not use the pool I did today?”

“That’s a public pool Makoto. I have an Olympic pool here just for us.”

“Yes, but you said it keeps reminding you of the competition. “

“These places are always overcrowded Makoto, you can’t swim properly.”

“Not this one, there’re no problems. I was just thinking earlier how relaxed I was. That’s it Haru, you cannot relax there but you might in a new pool. Just swim for fun, one afternoon. Plus I know how much you love swimming in a brand new place.”

Makoto smiled because he knew he had him now. Haru couldn’t resist such a thing and he was sure he was right. If Haru could just let go and the joy of a new place should sweep him right up, it would be fine. After all, once he reached it, then he should be able to find that place again anywhere.

“Fine. Yes.”

Makoto grinned. _Got you._

~~

 _Why do I let Makoto talk me into these things? It’s going to be crowded and I won’t be able to swim properly anyway._ Haru sulked, not that he would call it that, as he closed the locker and shuffled towards the pool _. There are probably going to be children too, I can’t swim so easily then. With my luck I’ll sit out the whole thing._

_Oh! That’s a nice pool._

He blinked and let out a small smile. It wasn’t crowded at all and several good swimmers were already doing laps. Haru felt excitement building in him and wondered when that had happened the last time. Probably the first day he had arrived at the team pool, everything after that had turned into a progressive drudgery. _Which is why I need to be honest with at least myself._ He briefly closed his eyes.

He had wanted to say yes to Makoto right away.

He had wanted to but the fear had stopped him. He had been scared that the joy, that unique moment of sheer ecstasy wasn’t going to come back there either. Scared that he would not find a solution after all. Scared that his mind would just keep focusing on the competition and his ex-coach.

_Scared that I was going to fail._

_Scared that water was going to reject me._

Haru shook his head and then stepped towards one of the start blocks. _No, water has always welcomed me. Makoto is right. There’s no meet. There’s no fail or succeed._

_There’s only water and Haru._

He dived.

~~

He had always loved that first moment after diving in.

Sudden silence and embrace of the water. Two old friends meeting again. Sometimes he felt like he never wanted to leave that cocoon. Moving with it, not against it. Letting it guide him until he had to come up for air. Then a steady stroke, a gentle wrestling. Hope that one day he’ll feel the water flow as one with him. Fun. Joy. Laughter in the foam all around him. Water singing to him.

_Yes. How I missed this!_

Haru swam.

He didn’t see the turned heads, the eyes on him. He didn’t hear the thoughts and questions about the guy who was swimming free. He didn’t notice the smiles he brought out.

_Free!_

~~

“Nanase!”

_That’s it, I’m drowning us both._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot and cold currents meeting help the production of plankton, which in turn is used as food, so a source of life in some ways. I find the way Rin and Haru clash produces positive, forward force in their lives too now so it reminded me of it. I’m a geek :p  
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, sorry about the little cliffy.  
> All mistakes are mine, as usual, the good parts belong to KyoAni.


	3. Chapter 3

#  Chapter 3

 

_Or maybe not. That’s not Kobayashi’s voice. What is Yamazaki Sousuke of all people doing here?_

Haru felt like someone had grabbed him out of a great dream and then promptly plonked him into a not so good one. He really didn’t feel up to this confrontation, for a confrontation it had to be. It always was with Yamazaki.

He pushed his goggles up and nodded “Yamazaki.”

“Nanase. What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“Get out of that pool, I can’t talk to you like this.”

Haru watched him as he stalked off towards the locker rooms and sighed. It had been such a perfect day. He slowly pushed himself out of the pool and followed, grumbling at himself. Why was he even doing that? Yamazaki and he weren’t friends, in fact he could remember quite a few unpleasant encounters with him. He sighed again, shaking his head. He was Rin’s friend, that’s why. Haru didn’t want to hurt Rin. _All right Yamazaki, all right._

“Well, let’s hear it.” Was out of Haru’s mouth before he even walked up to him. “You wanted to talk.”

“You joined Team Ryuujin.”

“Eh?”

“Rin told me before he left for Australia you joined Team Ryuujin.”

“Yes.” He didn’t feel like expounding because why would that matter to him anyway.

Yamazaki waved his hand around. “What are you doing here then? You have the best facilities in all of the country to train in. The best coaches. Yet I find you here, in a pool half the size you have, usually frequented by those who quit swimming! What are you doing here Nanase?”

“I was swimming.”

Haru was sure he could hear Yamazaki’s teeth grind together. “But why here?” came next and he sighed. A headache was slowly creeping up on him, he could just feel it. About to blurt out it really wasn’t any of Yamazaki’s business, Haru got a good look at him and frowned. Yamazaki looked poorly. He had bags under his eyes and he’d lost some weight. Haru knew he tended to be off in his own little world for most of the time but Yamazaki being in Tokyo was odd. Especially considering he neatly sidestepped that question. After the last month or so, Haru was an expert in spotting that.

Of course, there was also the not so small issue of Makoto telling him just a week or so ago that Rin hadn’t heard from Yamazaki for a good long while.

“What are you frowning at Nanase?”

“Come on.”

“Ha?”

Haru wondered if his brief time of troubles with water had somehow affected his thought processes but was he actually doing this? “Come on. We’re going to eat dinner and have some tea.” Apparently he was.

~~

They were sitting in the same restaurant that Hamasaki had taken him to and enjoying their food. Well, Haru was at least, while Yamazaki seemed more inclined to poke at his. Haru wasn’t quite sure what was going on there and yet they were not friends. It was not as if he could just ask. Though Yamazaki certainly didn’t have problems with asking him personal details so fair was fair then.

“You haven’t talked to Rin in a while.”

Yamazaki’s head snapped up from where he was contemplating his fate in the patterns the rice made. “What’s that got to do with anything? I’ll speak to him soon.” His tone was defensive, his eyes suddenly finding something interesting at the other side of the room and Haru knew he touched a nerve. A very raw nerve.

“You’re friends, close friends. Makoto said Rin wasn’t even sure where you were.”

Yamazaki shrugged with his left shoulder and Haru remembered. _Yes, of course. That day, under the trees, with Rin._ He looked at the man sitting across from him and wondered if all of this was somehow related.

Something must have shown on his face because Yamazaki suddenly nodded. “I can’t swim anymore because I’ve hurt my shoulder. I can’t be a pro swimmer, that dream is gone. I know you know. I can tell.” He shrugged again. “I had to come to Tokyo to talk to a few more doctors again. Rin … Rin was so happy then, at the end of the year, so sure that it'd be possible that I thought I’d try one more time. But no, it’s still the same answer. Always the same answer.” His voice was a mere whisper in the end, hand unconsciously creeping to knead the injured side. He was looking away from Haru again, who was glad for it. He knew he'd be privy to much more than Yamazaki wanted to show just then, if he could see his eyes.

They may not be friends but the moment still hit Haru. It was more than apparent that Yamazaki was suffering. Haru could, in a small way now, imagine not being able to achieve his dream. Even if he was dismissed from Ryuujin, he could still try again, somehow. Find another club, try on his own. It’d be much harder but still not impossible. Yet he could imagine now, even if distantly, what it would be like to fail. To never achieve it. It was a feeling of such acute pain that he almost reached out towards Yamazaki.

He managed to steady himself just in time because he was sure it would not be welcome _. I am not sure it would even be welcome from Rin._ That was enough for that part of the puzzle to click in his brain. Makoto, Haru had so much trouble talking to Makoto about his own issues. Sometimes the person that matters the most is the one you cannot turn to.

One truth, he decided, for the one given to him. 

“I am having trouble in Ryuujin.”

“Nanase! Do you even comprehend what an honour it is to be invited to join them? By Mizushima-san himself?” Haru almost laughed at that because of course Rin had told him _._ They really were much like Haru and Makoto.

“What do you mean by trouble exactly?” Yamazaki narrowed his eyes at Haru, who just blinked at him.

“I don’t fit in, at least not with the way the coach that had been assigned to me wanted me to. This is why he is not my coach any longer. I am to be put under a different one, who mostly just supervises due to the composition of the group, until the team meet and if I do not perform adequately, I’m out.”

“All that potential you have Nanase, it’s meaningless if you don’t use it.”

_Who are you talking about here Yamazaki? Me? Or you?_

Haru realized that he never did find an answer to the question that had flashed through his mind that night. What would he do if he failed? But it had been almost impossible to look past the fact that his dream may have been slipping through his fingers, like so much rain. When you find yourself in a hurricane of pain and confusion, how much could you see?

He was not there now though, for him the storm was moving on. His own determination to try with everything in him, Makoto’s help, and even Hamasaki’s support, all of it was making it easier. But what would he do?

_Find another dream. Yes. Find another._

Easier said than done, very much so. Finding the thing he wanted to do with his life had been so difficult and though people like Rin existed, who’ve had a clear path from early on, finding a second choice, which would end up being equally satisfactory as the first, would probably be difficult for everyone. Haru felt a small shudder travel through his body at the very idea. There was something though that he could see as a way forward.

“Help me please.”

“Ha?”

Yamazaki had wanted Haru to swim for Rin. It wasn’t that Rin needed him, he would still go on, chasing his dream of the Olympics even if Haru had chosen not to walk that path next to him but if Yamazaki thought that it was important then Haru wasn’t above using it now, to try and help him. If there is one thing, one person, that would get Yamazaki moving, it was Rin.

“Help me please Yamazaki. I know that you had been helping some of the Samezuka younger swimmers. You are here, you’ve not decided what to do just yet.” Rin had spent hours talking about it actually, especially how Yamazaki was with Nitori and how much that had helped.

_Nobody spends that much time helping others, without enjoying it._

Haru leaned back and waited. The other man just stared at the tea cup he kept turning round and round in his big hands. But Haru was patient and he knew that this was one choice that he had to make on his own. That first step towards a new dream must be taken by Yamazaki himself. Rin may have actually pointed Haru towards the two roads leading from the crossroads that he was stuck on, but it was he, himself who took that first step down the one he chose. As he becomes more settled, Yamazaki would see it clearly for himself, Haru pointing the way this time. That they would both benefit out of it, well, all the better.

“All right.” Yamazaki threw back the rest of his tea and put the cup down forcefully. “All right Nanase.”

_So much potential Yamazaki. Let it not be wasted._

Haru knew it hurt not to be able to walk next to Rin but he also knew there was more than one way to make it happen. Yamazaki just had to figure it out for himself.

He finally attacked his food with the actual intent of eating it, the notion of at least doing something obviously energizing him, and Haru tried not to smile. He ordered more tea for them and then just sat there sipping the warm drink. _This is a strange, strange day._

“So Nanase. How do we actually do this?”

“I don’t know.”

“Eh?”

“I don’t know. You’re the coach.”

“Fine.” Haru was sure he could hear those teeth grinding again. A very small part of him may have actually found that funny. But Yamazaki needed passion now, he needed that fire rekindled. And if it made Haru smile a few times, well, all the better. It really was fun. Of course, he truly wasn’t sure how to proceed from there. It wasn’t as if he planned the thing.

“I need information, everything, from the start, when it comes to Ryuujin. Let’s just start with practice information. Oh, you never told me who was assigned to you?”

“Kobayashi Iwao.”

“You worked with Kobayashi-san? And it didn’t work out?” Yamazaki’s voice was rising and Haru waved his hand at him. “It is done now Yamazaki. Yes, I did. And no, it did not.”

“Fine. Fine. Ok from the start then.”

So Haru found himself retelling it all, even more than he’d told Makoto, going into the details of the training. “I am going to send you the times I have been given to practice at the club itself but I am pretty sure I cannot get you in, we have pass cards. I also use their gym for training, my fitness instructor is still assigned to me. I have the nutritionist plan and I’ll be going to see her again in about a month’s time, I have a meeting scheduled, to see if anything needs to be changed. I am afraid I do not know how we’re going to work out the club access though, for the pool times.”

“There is no need.” This caught Haru off guard. He was pretty sure they had to meet in order for this to work but he felt it better to just let Yamazaki get through it. He seemed to be thinking about something pretty hard. “We meet at the pool where we met today. I told you, though you don’t seem to know it, it’s a pool where many old swimmers or those who quit actual training go to. Didn’t you wonder why it’s not so crowded?”

“I expected it, which is why I almost turned Makoto down when he suggested to me going there for a swim. I am glad I was proven wrong.”

“Tachibana? Ah yes, he’s in Tokyo too. Of course, he must have gotten the information at his University.”

“Eh, no actually. I got it from a swimmer at the club. His older sister uses it but he never said she used to swim too. Makoto needed a good club because while he hasn’t gone pro he still wants to continue with regular exercises. Plus he is going to coach one day, it’s necessary to keep in shape.”

“Tachibana will be using the club on a regular basis? I was hoping I could meet with you in the afternoons that you might have free and the evenings but I am not sure I want Tachibana to know.”

Haru immediately shook his head. “I am not going to lie to him.” Haru could see Yamazaki preparing to argue but this was one point where he was not going to give in. Makoto had asked him and he would honour their friendship, he would honour his feelings.

“No, I am sorry. I am not going to lie to Makoto. I cannot.”

“Of course not,” Yamazaki snorted, “you two are bound with an umbilical cord. Do you even sleep on your own Nanase?” Haru frowned slightly at a weird little tug he felt in his stomach at the taunt but he let it go. “This is one thing I cannot compromise on.”

“All right. Then the one thing I cannot compromise on, is Rin finding out. You said Tachibana talked to him? Fine. You promise he will not say a word to Rin and we’re good.”

“I cannot promise for Makoto, Yamazaki.”

“Yes, you can. You know you can. If you ask it of him, he will listen. Plus,” and he waved his hand around, “why is it such a big request? All I ask is for you two to respect my privacy. My relationship with Rin is not of your concern. This is not a big deal.”

Yet it was the one thing he would not tolerate. Haru almost snorted but knew there was no point in pushing the issue. Yamazaki had to do this on his own, at his own pace.

“All right. We will not mention you to Rin, though I’ve been so troubled I haven’t spoken to him this month. I do need to set a Skype chat with him. But I won’t mention you. Makoto won’t either.”

Yamazaki nodded at him. “I trust your word. Now, you still haven’t told me what the actual point of trouble was Nanase. Is it that weird water thing Rin told me about?”

“Yes, it’s the weird water thing.”

Yamazaki sighed.

~~

It had been a very strange day _._ Good and strange.

Haru relaxed on his couch and settled in to dial Makoto. Wondering if he was even going to believe this particular story, he almost laughed. It would at least be fun to tell it. Haru picked up his tea while letting the phone ring and shook his head. He was getting addicted to the stuff and it was all Makoto’s fault. “Haru! How was the swim?” he could practically feel Makoto overflowing with curiosity and impatience on the other side, foregoing even a cursory greeting. “I wanted to call but didn’t want to disturb you. It got late though so I was beginning to get worried.”

“Ah yes, sorry about that. I should have called right away but I was having dinner with my new coach.”

“Ha?”

Haru did laugh then. “You heard me.”

“Haru don’t tease! What do you mean your new coach? Did things work out with Ryuujin? But you texted me about going to our pool.” The word our made Haru break out into a smile, warmth pooling inside of him. “Oh not with Ryuujin. Not yet anyway. I did go to our pool. And you are never going to believe who I met there.”

“Haru!” Makoto was just about whining now on the other side of the line and Haru decided that was enough for the poor man. “Yamazaki.”

“Eh? Wait, what is Sousuke doing there? Oh wait till I tell Rin!”

Haru thought he should not have taken a sip of tea just then as it went down the wrong way thanks to Makoto’s words. “You all right Haru?”

“Yes, yes, sorry about that.” He cleared his throat and sighed. “It’s just that, you cannot tell Rin.”

“Wait, what? He was honestly upset about not knowing anything about Sousuke. What is going on?”

“I can’t tell you everything, and Makoto, this isn’t about me. It’s about Yamazaki. Look, when you get here on Sunday I’ll explain what I can but I had to tell you this now, just in case you talked to Rin in the meantime. Please don’t mention Yamazaki. He needs time.” Haru wasn’t sure how to explain this to Makoto the best way but he resolved to try anyway. “Sometimes when some seriously bad things happen, a person just needs time. He’s not in the best way but I think he will be.”

“It’s one of the reasons he’s your new coach, isn’t it?”

 _Makoto is too smart for his own good sometimes._ “He’s my new coach because Rin wouldn’t shut up about how Sousuke this and Sousuke that the whole summer, when it comes to him helping out other Samezuka swimmers. Even if we disregard Rin going overboard, as he sometimes does, it’s obvious that Yamazaki does have talent. I on the other hand am in need of a coach.” Haru smiled at his bluebells. “You were right, you know.”

“Eh, about what?” It was obvious Makoto was thrown by the sudden turn in the conversation.

“The pool. It’s a good pool.”

“Ah. I’m glad.”

“It also helped. You were right about being away from the team pool helping. I could let go. Thank you Makoto.” Haru cleared his throat. “Thank you for being there for me, when I needed you.”

“Always Haru. Always.”

He knew Makoto meant that, knew he would keep that promise too _._ Haru wanted to answer that he felt the same but something was stopping him. There was a strange feeling lurking in the back of his mind that he’d only noticed recently and he could not quite grasp yet. There was something there, something different. Something new.

So he held back apart from a quiet thank you because that at least he could say.

“I’ll let you go now, I know you’re probably still studying. You work too hard Makoto! Oh I haven’t talked to Rin in a while, what with everything that has been happening, so I’ll try and set up a Skype chat with him. I know you haven’t said anything but I can imagine he’s not pleased.” This was met by Makoto’s chuckles and Haru smiled. “Good night Makoto.”

“Good night Haru. Oh, and Haru?”

“Yes?”

“It’s nice that you’re helping Sousuke.”

Before Haru could get a word in, he heard the dial tone. Makoto had already hung up. _But then, what else is there to say?_ Haru smiled before he remembered there was a time difference to Sydney and it would be better if he simply fired off an email to Rin about Skype. He’d probably be sleeping already, tired from his own practices and hard work.

As he relaxed in the tub just before going to bed himself, he thought that yes, it had been a good day.

~~

_“You idiot Haru! Do you have any idea how long it’s been?! Makoto wouldn’t tell me anything but I know you. You clam up when there’s trouble. Makoto is worried by the way. You should not make him worry. He gets all weird._

_Sunday, 2pm. My time of course._

_Rin”_

The answering email from Rin came just as Haru was about to close his locker. He would send it just then, wouldn’t he, even when not trying he was bound to be annoying. Haru quickly scanned the message and snorted. Troublesome man. He’d have to adjust his schedule for Sunday and he wasn’t too keen on it encroaching on his time with Makoto but at least that meant that if Rin could stay on long enough, Makoto could indeed join them. Hopefully he had remembered to keep quiet about Yamazaki. Not to mention he had to figure out what to tell Rin about his own issues. He’d completely lose it if Haru told him the whole truth about Kobayashi and his demotion. Slamming the locker door, he decided to simply say he had a new coach. It really won’t be Haru’s fault if Rin assumed it’s at Ryuujin. Nodding to himself, satisfied with that plan, he put it out of his mind and inhaled deeply, trying to relax. Time to swim.

Taking a deep breath again, he walked out and looked at the pool.This time there was no sense of apprehension, just the usual desire he had to get to swimming as fast as he could. In fact, Haru was almost giddy with excitement. He needed to warm up though as the last thing he needed just then, when everything was finally getting better, was an injury. He forced himself to slow down and went through the exercises. The pool was not going to disappear if he had to go through these. They were important. It was a mantra he kept repeating in his head, carefully avoiding glancing at the water. He could hear its siren song.

Every body of water sang to him but they were all different. This was the first time he could hear it from this pool ever since the troubles began. It was loud and excited and a bit angry. _I wasn’t doing it on purpose you know._ Haru grumbled in his head. _We’ll have fun now._

 _Finally!_ He almost felt like a child again. Haru adjusted his goggles and off he went. There were no thoughts of the meet, or of the possibility of not making it. There were no thoughts of anything but water and swimming with it.

~~

_Welcome back little dolphin._

~~

A few days later and Haru was putting the finishing touches on the dishes for that day’s lunch. He opted for a few that needed to sit a bit in order to have enough time to talk to Rin. Indeed, he could already hear the ringing coming from his laptop that he left in the living room and hurried. “Yes, yes, hold on a second,” he mumbled as he grabbed a kitchen towel and hurried to answer.

“Please don’t tell me you were in the bath.” Came from Rin who was grinning at him from the little window that popped up. A much more tanned Rin too.

“No. I was making lunch. Makoto’s coming over later so I figured I’d finish now before you called.” He plopped down on the floor next to the table. “Hey Rin.”

“Hey Haru.” He could feel Rin’s eyes on him. “You’re looking well. I see no body parts missing. Ok, spill. What happened?”

“Oi. So direct.” Haru shook his head at him but Rin waved it off. “I am not Makoto. Let’s hear it.”

“I had trouble at Ryuujin, with the coach assigned to me. My times were getting worse. He was getting worse. It just wasn’t working out and finally he dropped me.”

“You got dropped from the team?!”

“I said he dropped me, not the team. Honestly Rin. Anyway, it was a bit of a mess but I’ve got a new coach now, I am already swimming better and it should be fine. I need to make up for lost time though and we have team trials in order to get to participate at Nationals. Are you coming? Wait, why am I even asking. Of course you are. You’re Rin.”

“Of course I am. There are some invitational events here, starting from December so I am going to participate in those first. It’s a long way to go until April. I talked to my coach and at first we weren’t sure if it was actually smart or not, I mean I could have waited until Nationals prior to the Worlds but he concluded that establishing myself from the start is good.”

“How is that going with him Rin? Much better I can tell.”

“Eh,” Rin rubbed the back of his neck “yes, I'd say so. We got along last time too but well, you know how it was for me. So now when I’m in a better place, it’s great. There are some old faces around, from the time I was here before. Now those scores I am yet to settle.”

“Rin?”

Rin sighed, avoiding Haru’s eyes. “Just some guys who were here when it wasn’t so good. I’ll tell you about it some other time.”

Haru was certain this was part of the revenge Rin had spoken of but he didn’t look particularly troubled, just reluctant, so there was no reason to push. Some things a person had to work through on their own, Haru knew that. “I’ll be here when you want to. So, what happens with your coach, if you get into the National Team?”

“When I get into the National Team Haru. When. And he’ll come with me. We’ve already talked it through. I’d be an Olympic hopeful then and he could claim priority for me at the club. It’s one of the things we talked about when I went to accept his offer to train here again. I don’t want to change coaches in the middle of the Olympic cycle, nobody should Haru. I sure hope the new one actually works out for you.”

“Ah, thanks Rin.” He was about to change the subject when the doorbell rang _._ Sighing because of course Makoto would make it in time anyway, Haru grumbled to himself that maybe he shouldn’t have told him when the Skype chat was. Though, it probably was better if they did this for the first time together, he could at least try and prevent disaster. Makoto was a terrible liar. “That’s Makoto, hold on a second Rin!” he got up and ushered Makoto in.

“Is that Rin? I was hoping to catch him, it’s more fun this way Haru! What’s with the face?” _Really Makoto?_ “Ah yes, I brought tea. The shop where I pop by to get these recommended it.”

“I think we’re definitely starting a collection Makoto. Come on, say hi to Rin.” They walked to the desk and sat down on the floor, together. Haru figured it was best to have Makoto within easy reach in case things went south. “Rin! Hello!”

“Makoto, we talked last week.” Rin drawled but Haru could see he was smiling.

“I’m still happy to see you! How are you?”

“Fine Makoto, thank you. I see your guy here also recovered his mood.”

Makoto blushed. “Ah, yes. It all got sorted out.”

“You resemble a tomato. Oh, ok now it’s more like beets.” Rin was grinning at them from the little screen.

“Rin!”

“Stop teasing Makoto, Rin.”

They looked at each other and laughed.

“I miss you guys, I mean I am glad I am here but I still miss you lot.”

Haru glanced over at Makoto whose eyes had softened at that, his smile gentle. It was always like that when he was feeling a little bit emotional, Haru could easily tell. It was one of his favourite Makoto smiles. And when did he start paying so much attention, to even have a favourite?

“We can at least talk like this more!” Makoto’s voice cut through his musings. “I have more work than before at University now, but I don’t care. You two work just as hard. We need to make sure to talk like this together at least every few weeks. With enough time in advance to plan, we should be fine. Haru, Rin?”

Haru saw the excitement in Rin’s eyes at the offer, knew instantly where it came from. That day, on the beach in Australia and Rin’s words were still clear in his mind. How he had said that he knew that his friends were just beyond the ocean, that was connecting them together. Rin was older now. His situation was vastly different. He knew the language, was much more prepared but he was still on his own there, his friends still on the other side.

There should be more than the ocean this time though, for they were older too.

“Yes, you’re right Makoto. We should.” Haru nodded and smiled.

Rin grinned at them from the other side and nodded “Yes, let’s! I’ll email you my schedule Haru and then you two can figure out what’s the best time. We can do this.”

Makoto beamed at them both.

“Oh Haru?” Rin looked at him, his eyebrows raised, “I know you’re not friends but have you heard from Sousuke by any chance?”

_And this is another reason why there should be more._

Haru could feel Makoto stirring next to him and quickly moved his hand to rest on Makoto’s lower back. With him in such a soft mood, he could just blurt it all out. Makoto hated seeing people in pain.

“Yamazaki hasn’t called me, we’re not friends, as you say.” It was not a lie after all, they were not. Haru didn’t like that they were in this position but was also aware it was better that way.

“The last time we spoke, I was in such a hurry, I'd just arrived. He didn’t look the best and wouldn’t answer my questions about, well, some things that were troubling him, and just said he needed a break, but I had had to go and then it was too late.”

Seeing the perfect opening he'd been given, Haru grabbed it. “Rin, that day, when you talked to Sousuke, when he told you that he can’t swim anymore? I was there, it was an accident that I overheard you.” He could almost feel Makoto staring at him and he moved his hand, to calm him but he felt there truly was no other way. He felt Makoto shiver beneath his fingers but continued making little soothing motions with his thumb. “Of course we all saw his shoulder when you guys swam that relay but I don’t think the others know that he cannot swim again.”

“Ah,” came from his left, “no. I know Nagisa and Rei think that he just needs to heal.” Makoto’s voice was all choked up so Haru kept the contact. It wasn’t just for Makoto’s sake either, it was helping him too. Which was strange, as he wasn’t really tactile with other people. He had more important things to deal with though, and filed that away for later.

“But Rin, you know how it feels when you think you cannot fulfil your dream. Yes, he did the relay with you but now, with that done, he’s probably left with the realization that no, he can’t swim again and there is nothing to replace that. Yamazaki does need to heal and it’ll take time.”

“I am his friend though, I want to help.” Rin’s voice was full of anguish and Haru knew his head was down so that they wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes.

“Sometimes it’s the toughest thing to do. Talking to the ones who mean the most to us. I can say that from my own experience. I think you know that. Just trust Yamazaki. He’ll come to you when he feels that he’s ready.”

Haru hoped he did the right thing here. Rin wiped the tears away quickly and nodded. Makoto was silent.

“Well, it isn’t a get together for us, unless Rin cries.”

“Haru!”

“Haru, stop teasing Rin.”

They looked at each other and laughed again. _Friends, that’s who we are._

~~

“Let’s eat Makoto.” Haru got up as the Skype window closed and walked into the kitchen. “Give me a hand with the rice balls here.” He turned to pass him the plate but Makoto was still in the living room. “Makoto?”

“Ah, yes. Coming.” Haru watched him walk slowly to the kitchen and instead of taking the plate he rested his hip on the sink and turned to face him. “Are you sure Haru?”

“Yes.”

Haru knew he could leave it at that and Makoto would not ask more. He knew Makoto trusted him and relied on him too. But they were trying to be better friends too, weren’t they? “I am sure Makoto. Yamazaki isn’t contacting him because he’s not ready. It is upsetting seeing Rin like that but you know him. What would happen if we told him where Yamazaki is, now?” Makoto shook his head but Haru wouldn’t let it go. “Think about it. You know Rin, what would he do?”

“He’d sit on the first plane and come to Tokyo to talk to Sousuke.”

“Exactly. It’s who Rin is. But sometimes, sometimes that is not the best solution. Yamazaki needs to work out some things on his own now. He highly respects Rin. The day I overheard them I understood just how much he values him. Yamazaki cannot talk to Rin now.” _He’s ashamed Makoto._ Haru felt like he couldn’t quite say that last one aloud but it was all right, because Makoto understood anyway. He always did. “You’re right, you’re right Haru. It is just difficult seeing Rin like that.”

Haru lightly touched his arm and nodded. “Yes, it is but we’re here for him.” He passed him the plate again. “Come on Makoto, let’s eat. Then you can make me that new tea.”

“It smells wonderful!”

“Admit it. That’s why you bought it.”

“I did not, it was highly recommended.” Haru just raised his eyebrow and watched him. “All right, maybe. But it was highly recommended!”

“We’ll see. Come on.”

~~

Makoto got home late. Night had already set and he had to hurry to catch the last train. He tiredly lined up his shoes and then padded softly across the floor to his bedroom. He didn’t bother with turning on the lights, but instead walked straight to his window. It was a night of the full moon and he turned his face towards it, let its light touch him. Resting his forehead against the glass, he tiredly sighed.

It’s not that he wasn’t upset about Rin, he was. He trusted Haru though, and he agreed that Haru had a good point. Rin would catch the first plane over and then they’d be in trouble. It’s just that that wasn’t the only thing he was upset about. Was upset even the right word though? His head was a jumble of emotions, it was so difficult to pinpoint what he was feeling. He didn’t understand what was happening.

Haru’s hand had burned.

It was meant to quieten him and settle him down, he knew this. It was an emotional moment and he had wanted to console Rin, to tell him Sousuke was all right.

_So why did it leave a trail of fire down my back, when he moved it? Why did it make me shiver?_

He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to get himself together. Haru was his friend. His friend and these feelings were anything but of a friendly nature. He’d never felt that way before. Shaking his head, he tried dispelling those thoughts. It wasn’t often that he touched Makoto, it must be that, he had just been startled, that’s all. Makoto hastily discarded his clothes and grabbed a ratty t-shirt to sleep in. He honestly didn’t have the strength to take a bath now, a shower in the morning would have to do. Crawling into his bed, he pulled the covers over himself and turned so that he faced the window.

The soft moon light illuminated the small space, making strange patterns in the carpet. There was no other sound in the room but that of Makoto’s breathing.

The neon numbers of the electronic clock slowly changed.

Makoto couldn’t fall asleep, with one thought rattling around his head, keeping him awake.

_Why is it then that I can still feel it now?_

~~

Haru hurried out of the train station. He could already tell this arrangement of theirs wasn’t going to be easy. But then, if it were easy, it probably wouldn’t have meant so much to him. He hurriedly climbed up the last few steps and ran straight into Yamazaki.

“Umph.”

“Oi Nanase. Slowly.”

“Sorry Yamazaki! I didn’t want to be late, this is important to me.”

“Don’t worry. I figured that it was going to happen sooner or later, and probably multiple times. Let’s face it, you are coming from practice and it’s a long train ride. We are both going to have to be patient and flexible if this is going to work.”

Haru nodded, pleased that Yamazaki seemed totally preoccupied with the idea of coaching him. That was exactly what he needed. More than just a distraction, he needed something he was passionate about. It would help clear his head and show him the way. Haru on the other hand needed a coach devoted to him in that way. He was stopped from thinking further on this when a bunch of papers were shoved in his face.

“Now, so as to not lose time, while we’re walking to the pool. You planned your usual events for this, right? The 50m, 100m and 200m races?”

“Eh, yes, the ones I always did.”

“You know, you need to think about the 400m too. I know, you don’t have the stamina now and it is impossible to achieve that, along with trying to bring you back to form in the other three but once this is done, especially for next year, think it over Nanase. You have incredible potential, don’t put a limit on it!” He made some scribbles on one of his papers and Haru had to grab his arm and steer him away from a certain collision with a sign post. Yamazaki just grunted at him and continued making what appeared to be small checks. “We shall talk about that later though. Now for today I want to see you swim some laps, I want to see your starts and turns. Did Kobayashi work on these with you at all?”

“Not really. We didn’t get that far.”

“Tch. Far. We are talking about basics here. I remember you know, that race with Rin. You are slower with the kick, especially after the turn. We’ll see what else we need to work on.”

Haru just nodded and then opened the door for them, they had arrived.

“Ah, we’re here, good. Now we’ll go change, as I don’t want to loiter around in my sweats, it would be weird and I am not sure we need that sort of attention. There are no other swimmer and coach pairs here. As I told you, this is a pool for those who want to continue swimming recreationally. Who was the swimmer who gave you the information anyway?”

“Eh, from the club, Hamasaki Akira, he swims breaststroke.”

“I know that name, yes. Are you friends?” Haru could see Yamazaki looking at him out of the corner of his eyes but didn’t see the harm in answering the question. “Well, we’re just starting to get to know each other. He was helpful when the Kobayashi issue occurred and then later, he gave me the name and address of this place. His sister uses it.”

“Yes, I am sure she does. Nanase, you’re hopeless.”

“What?”

“You really need to start paying attention to the swimming world, here and abroad. You want to compete? You need to learn who your opponents are. And your friends. Hamasaki is one of our bigger hopes for the next Olympics, he came in second at this year’s National Championships.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh. He’s a good connection to have. There is also always the option that you might end up swimming the relay with him, and you should know better than most that being friends with those guys is a huge advantage.”

“I am not going to be swimming the relay. I am just doing the individual events.”

“You’re not … wait, never mind. This is going to be yet another one of those weird Nanase things. No time for that now. Let’s go change, there’s work to be done.”

~~

“All right” came from Yamazaki who was sitting near the pool’s edge, while Haru floated in the water next to him, submerged up to his nose.

“I was right about the kick after the turn. We need to work on those starts too, you are too slow Nanase, and you can do much better. How does it work over at your team when it comes to the gym exercises?”

Haru kicked a bit to get himself higher in the water. “I have a trainer I work with, he assigns the routine after he knows what the goal is and makes sure I have it down.”

“But is he told by the coach or you?”

“Ah, I see. Both is possible, I’ve seen it happen. I don’t think it’ll be a problem if I just tell him what I need to be focusing on.” Haru wondered if perhaps the information about him working with the group now had come through as well. If so, he hoped that everything would turn out all right.

“Good, I’ll have what I want written out and emailed to you tonight. You can take it with you tomorrow, we need to get a move on, no time to waste.” Yamazaki was scribbling on his papers again, totally focused on them and Haru floated. When he was in the water, he was never impatient. He could just wait and let it lull him to rest.

Not that time though as Yamazaki snapped his head up. He truly was a frighteningly focused individual. Haru wished at that moment that he’d spent more time with both Yamazaki and Rin. It must have been something to see those two together.

“All right, that is decided. Now about the race itself.” Haru couldn’t help but groan. “Yes, I know this is where things went wrong but you have got to work with me here, you need to talk to me.”

“I was willing to work with Kobayashi too.”

“All right, I understand Nanase. He wasn’t willing to listen. But I am. We’re both going to make a few compromises here. You agree to push a little, or back off, even when you don’t think it’ll be productive. Things rarely go smoothly. In return I’ll listen when you have strong objections about something. I know how talented and how good you already are. You didn’t get this far by accident. I trust your instincts. Agreed?”

Haru hadn’t expected all of that to come from Yamazaki’s mouth. This was exactly what he had wanted from his coach in the first place and now it seems like he was getting it. If they could work together, and progress, both of them, in the end, then he would take the gift being given.

“Yes, agreed.”

“Good. Well, we’re done for the night.”

“Aren’t you going to get in?”

And he would try to give one in return.

“What?” Yamazaki’s papers almost fell into the pool, he was so startled by the question and he quickly recoiled from the edge of the water.

“You were here that day for a reason Yamazaki. You wanted to swim, right?” Seeing that there was no answer, Haru continued. “I talked to Rin yesterday.”

A flinch on the other man’s face told him that he was very much right about this. “He is fine. He talked about coming over for Nationals, so next April. Apparently there are also some guys he wants to beat in races there too. It’s leftovers from his previous stay there, he didn’t want to talk about it but we can both guess. I hope he annihilates them. His coach is going to follow him over here by the way, when he gets into the National Team.”

“When?”

Haru smirked. “Yes, when. You know Rin.” He could see Yamazaki’s eyes were fixed on him, almost pleading for more information. “He was upset with me that I didn’t contact him for over a month, but he knew something had to be wrong for me to be silent. After all, Rin knows me really well.” Yamazaki’s head was bent low now, he was staring at his knees, hunched in on himself and Haru answered the unspoken question. “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, he is worried about you. Yes, he has figured out something is wrong. After all, Rin knows you really well too.” Haru wondered when his life changed so much that he ended up floating in the pool, trying to help put the pieces of Yamazaki Sousuke together. “He understands though. I didn’t tell him we saw each other, as I promised, but I could talk to him anyway. And he understands.”

“He cried.”

“It’s Rin.”

“I don’t want to be the cause of his pain.”

“Then don’t be.” Yamazaki’s head snapped up “It’s not as easy as just saying it! I can’t just…”

“Yamazaki. I know. Rin knows.” He paused then jerked his head towards the water “So get in.”

“What’s that got to do with any of this?”

“You need to find joy in swimming again.” Haru could see the anguish in his eyes and knew he guessed right _._ “You don’t have to compete in order to find happiness in it. You don’t have to compete in order to swim with Rin again. There is joy in just the act itself. You used to know that. Now come in, and swim for yourself. Remember how it was when we were kids? It was just us and the water and the awkward splashing about while we tried to get ourselves from one side to the other. It was so much fun.” Haru started moving away from the edge slowly, feeling absolutely parched from having talked that much, hoping that it wouldn't be in vain, and then got ready to kick off once again. Before he did though, he turned his head, and looked at Yamazaki one last time. “Nothing more. Nothing less.”

He started swimming slowly towards the opposite wall and even if he heard a splash behind him, and the soft sounds of someone following, he didn’t stop to look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The character of Sousuke and how it ended for him in s2 really bugged me. I had expected the whole thing to develop into something, most likely Haru/his dream related and it all fizzled out for me. Not to mention that ending so when I started writing this, I wanted to offer some answers and some resolution to his story, overall.  
> This was for some reason the most difficult chapter for me to write and I am still not happy about it but there we go. Some movement in the Makoto & Haru department & much more coming up in the next one.  
> All mistakes mine, all watery goodness KyoAni's. Comments always welcome :)


	4. Chapter 4

#  Chapter 4

 

“Earth to Tachibana! Hello!”

“Ha?”

“Where did you go Tachibana? Oh I've got it! You’re thinking about Koizumi right? I saw the way she was looking at you earlier.” Himura snickered at him, before he grabbed another bite of his lunch.

“Who?”

“The girl in the yellow sweater that kept looking at you all morning? You truly haven’t noticed, have you?” Makoto was looking at Himura with huge eyes but the latter just sighed and waved it off. “How could you not notice, we all did? It was so obvious. Never mind that though, now will you answer my question please? And yes, I imagine you didn’t hear that either. When is your birthday?” He pointed at Kagome, who was just bemusedly staring at Makoto, “his is in December, and mine is in May. What about you then?”

“Oh. Yes. Well, in November.”

“What? Please tell me we didn’t already miss it!”

“No, it’s on the seventeenth, in a week or so.”

Makoto knew something was up when Himura and Kagome just looked at each other and smirked. “Party!” they both chattered at him excitedly. “We’re throwing you a party! That’s Sunday, right?”

“Ah, yes but I am sorry I cannot do anything on a Sunday. I am afraid I already have plans.”

“We weren’t going to have it then Tachibana, we will need plenty of rest for Monday classes,” Himura piped up, “Saturday it is. We’ll inform you of the details later, the birthday boy just needs to show up.”

The other two already started talking among themselves about the plans and Makoto just tiredly leaned on his hand. He hadn’t gotten much rest last night. Ever since that day, his sleep had been spotty _._ He really needed to figure out his feelings. He was exhausted, his classes were picking up each day and yet, why couldn’t he just forget?

He almost snorted out loud at the ridiculous thought. Probably because it had never happened to him before. Not just with Haru but with anyone else. It didn’t mean though that he couldn’t recognize what these emotions were and that’s where the problem was. He did know what it all might be pointing to but was afraid to think about it all.

And maybe, just maybe, something whispered, Makoto didn’t truly want to forget.

“Right, one more thing, your friend, what about him?”

“Eh?”

“Your friend from Iwatobi? The one who has also turned pro? We were wondering because of the party invitations.”

“Oh, Haruka. Saturday is no good, huge practice day until late in the night but thank you for asking.” Makoto was rubbing his temples as he spoke, about ready to call it a day by then. “Where is Matsushita, by the way, I haven’t seen him all day.”

“Just because you’re oblivious doesn’t mean he is,” Himura snickered then pointed behind him. Indeed, now that he paid attention, he could see him three tables down, sitting with a dark-haired girl. She seemed completely focused on Matsushita, who seemed equally besotted with her. They didn’t seem to be talking at all but they also didn’t seem to be bothered with it. Makoto cleared his throat and slanted a glance at Himura. “Ah yes, well I am happy for him!”

“You really should be more observant Tachibana, take heed of him. I mean who can tell, that may be his future wife.“ Kagome nodded slowly and Makoto felt his eyes widen. “But we’re first year at University, we’ve just started. Why would you even talk about marriage?” He honestly wasn’t sure what had gotten into his friends this afternoon. Kagome just waved him off though. “You never know, that’s the point. They’re not too young, they’ll wait until after their education if they’re right for each other. It may or may not be, but he was open to it.” Kagome and Himura both nodded but Makoto was just tired.

“I have a headache coming on, I am going to go you guys, I’m done with lunch. I have just one more class to go through and then I’m heading home. Hopefully a nap will help because I have that essay to write and I will need all my strength for that one. I will see you all later!” Makoto sketched a little wave and gathered all his things. He glanced at Matsushita and his girlfriend once more and then walked out.

His head was beginning to pound.

~~

Just as he was about to reach the train station, finally free to go home, Makoto heard his phone buzz. He moved to the side, not wanting to bother anyone else, and frowned when he saw Haru’s name flash. Not that it was so rare these days, Haru had gotten much better at reaching out first but still, it was unusual for him to call during the day, as he seemed to be completely focused on his training, alone or with Sousuke now.

“Haru, yes, did something happen?”

“Makoto, ah no. Must something happen for me to call?” he could hear Haru’s amused voice coming from the other end of the line and huffed.

“No. But you usually call at night so I was worried.”

“Nothing is wrong, relax. Where are you?”

“Ah, about to head home actually, am at the train station.”

“Perfect.”

“Eh?”

“Take the train to Iidabashi Station, I’ll be waiting.”

“Haru?!” but all he got was a dial tone.

Makoto stared at his phone as if to will Haru to answer it but reality refused to bend. He didn’t feel up to going anywhere, his apartment and peaceful solitude beckoned to him. He should simply call Haru back to say that he cannot come. His headache was getting worse, Makoto knew Haru would understand. After all, he did say nothing was wrong, so it couldn’t be that important. He sighed tiredly, rubbing his temples for the tenth time that day. It might be related to Haru’s swimming though. He couldn’t handle another pool but what if Haru needed support?

All around him the crowd of people was moving, all of them hurrying somewhere or other and Makoto tilted his head back and looked up. It was a clear autumn day, the sky blue interspersed with streaks of white.

Makoto wished it would rain.

He wished things were different.

He wished he knew how to say no to Haru.

~~

He slowly climbed the last set of steps and looked around. It didn’t take long for him to spot Haru. He was standing to the side, his blue jacket on, head cocked to the side as if here were listening to some music only he heard. _Or the sounds of the sea._ He almost snorted out loud and shook his head. _I’m losing my mind. Well let’s see what was so important._

“Haru!”

“Ah Makoto, you made good time. Let’s go. It’s not far, maybe a ten minute walk. I checked it out before I rang you up.”

“Where are we going Haru?”

“You’ll see. Come on.” Makoto was about to protest again, this really didn’t seem like it was anywhere near urgent but at that moment, Haru’s hand grabbed his and tugged. His legs moved on their own. His mind went blank. His world shrunk to his hand and the way Haru’s smaller one fit into his, how Haru’s fingers clung to his.

He wondered if he imagined Haru’s hand squeezing his lightly, as if to wanting to hang on, before it let go.

They walked slowly side by side, Makoto’s hands now in his pockets. He kept them balled into fists, as if to hold on to that feeling then frowned at himself. He should not be thinking this way. Opening that door earlier caused it all to mean more now. But it was wrong, Haru was his best friend. He was another boy!

That one in particular was the big issue.

Makoto had twirled that thought around in his mind earlier in the day. He’d been confessed to, once or twice, by the girls in their high school. He had turned them down then because he wasn’t interested in either one but did that mean that he just didn’t like them in particular or was he attracted to men? It wasn’t that he believed that it was unnatural, like he knew some people did. Makoto just never related it to himself and maybe that’s where the problem was. Thinking back, he could tell that Rin was a good looking guy and maybe hot and well, his head had started hurting at that point. 

Because when he did try thinking about Haru, the only thing that he could think of was that he was just so beautiful.

Maybe, now that he’d considered it, these emotions for Haru have been there for a good long while. It was just that they appeared to be coming into the open just then, as if being flushed out suddenly. Being shaken out of the familiar, slow pace of Iwatobi, the old faces replaced by new, the familiar paths by uncharted ones seemed to be waking him up. He was looking around with new eyes and what he was seeing was scaring him. It was also making Makoto shiver with anticipation.

Those thoughts and all the others from the previous days went on a loop but he knew it would help nothing. He couldn’t stop them coming, as fast as an overflowing mountain creek, filled with the cold waters of the melting snow, carrying away everything in its path.

He was snapped out of his mussings by Haru’s voice “Here we are.”

Makoto looked up and blinked. “Where is here?”

“Koishikawa Korakuen.”

“Ah, Haru. Why are we here?”

“Yamazaki. Blame it on him.”

“Haru. I’m sorry but I don’t follow. I’m tired.”

“Yes, exactly. So, this is supposed to be one of the most beautiful gardens in the city.” Haru started walking so he followed. “Yamazaki insisted I take the afternoon off. He went on and on about the need to clear one’s head on occasion in order to be able to perform at the highest level. So I will have one afternoon off every once in a while, along with the usual Sundays. Let’s go.”

Makoto stared at the beautiful weeping cherry trees that were near the entrance and thought how it would be nice to come back during the cherry blossom season. His mind seemed to have disconnected from everything because Haru was obviously going along some internal dialogue and had simply decided to take Makoto with him. He couldn't even guess, though he saw the merits of what Sousuke had said, why that affected him or why Haru had invited him along.

_Maybe he just doesn’t want to be here alone._

They walked along the stone path of the garden, with Haru leading the way. Makoto had no idea if he actually knew where he was going, or was just wandering along but at the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was too beautiful. The path led them to a wide pond, then onward. All around them the trees were displaying their autumn coats.

He wasn’t sure how long they walked before they ran into a set of stones that led them across the water and then he gasped. The red bridge was nestled into the maple trees that were surrounding it, seemingly growing out of the stone. Makoto was transported into some other time, long, long ago. All worries of today were erased. They didn’t talk but still paused, as if by agreement, leaning on the railing and looked into the distance. The birds could be heard above, and soft sounds of water. Once in a while someone else would linger or snap a photo and then move on but all of that was at the back of his mind.

Makoto felt connected to Haru, standing on this red bridge, beneath the trees, in a way he could not explain.

Another tug on his hand and off they went, down another path, and another, the winding narrow road leading them into the world of red, and yellow, and autumn. Haru didn’t stop until they reached water again. There was a rocky outcrop there and he went and sat down, before turning to look at Makoto.

“There’s room.”

Makoto moved and carefully perched himself on the rock, next to Haru. Their sides were pressed together. He found it impossible to relax so in order to distract himself he looked around. Another maple grew right next to the water, its branches extending far above it, as if it was reaching for it with all its being. Someone had planted two poles into the bed of the pond, to keep them upright. A large rock sat in their shade. Swans glided along on the water around it. It was silent but for the nature’s sighs.

He leaned slowly into the man next to him and finally let go, feeling at peace.

One of the swans came near them suddenly and whooped. Makoto blinked at it, as if woken, and raised his eyebrows. “I think it is saying hello.”

“I think it wants food.”

“Ever the romantic, Haru.”

He saw Haru smile that small smile of his and his own lips twitched. “Thanks for taking me along Haru.” Makoto could see Haru gazing across the water and wondered just how many times he’d seen him in that position. Different places but the same look.

“You are tired.”

“Eh?”

“You work too hard Makoto. You are either at home studying, at the library or helping me in some way. I could see you were tired lately. So I figured a break would do us both good.” Warmth spread through his body. So that's why he wanted to take Makoto along. Somehow it was good to know Haru noticed these things. It felt good Haru wanted to help him, too. It just felt good. The swan had drifted away by the time he looked back. They sat under that maple tree and just stared at the water.

Makoto wished that it would last forever.

He wished that he wasn’t so scared.

He wished that one day he could say yes to Haru.

~~

Haru stared at his computer screen. His Skype was turned on but it kept showing Rin as off line. He knew it was late, and Rin had an afternoon practice that day, but had still sent off an email as soon as he got home.

This afternoon with Makoto had been different.

It hadn’t occurred to him until he had hung up on Makoto that he hadn’t actually explained why he had wanted Makoto to join him. He had been aware that Makoto had many obligations and it would have probably been better to call him back instead of just assuming he would show up. He hadn’t even reached for his phone though and had just stood there, near the station, looking at the people going in and out.

It wasn’t until he had actually seen Makoto’s tall form emerging from the station and his body had instantly relaxed that he had realized just how tense he had been. He had wondered if one day Makoto wouldn’t come. He had wondered if there would always be a bridge that connected him to Makoto. He had wondered, as he waved Makoto off, if there would be more afternoons like this.

He had wanted them. He still wanted them.

He had been thinking lately more and more about Makoto. Oh he was always present in the back of his mind but this was different. He was noticing things he had never noticed before. He was feeling things he had never felt before. Or maybe, things he hadn’t recognized before. A part of him was scared but a part of him just wanted to throw himself head first into it, without any regard for anything else. It was like diving from a great height – that initial, brief moment of fear replaced by the exhilaration of flight and then the perfect embrace of the water. It wasn’t without danger, but it was worth it.

The ringing snapped him out of his thoughts and he quickly answered. Rin seemed a bit tired but was waving happily from the other side.

“Hey Haru. What’s the emergency?”

“Why does everyone assume it’s an emergency if I contact them?”

“Because we’ve lived most of our lives together and we can count the number of times you did on one hand?”

“Whatever.”

Rin laughed and shook his head. “So what is the non-emergency?”

“I don’t know what to get Makoto for his birthday.”

“Eh?”

“I want to get Makoto a gift for his birthday except I don’t know what.”

Haru could see Rin’s confusion easily and he pondered if there was any other way he could express what to him seemed to be quite simple. He opened his mouth to reiterate but Rin cut him off. “You’ve been friends forever Haru. Just get him some small thing, like you do every year. I don’t get the issue.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and waved his hand around. “I want … “ he found himself lost for words because that was the problem. He couldn't figure out what he wanted. “Look, I just want it to be different this year.”

“Different.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Haru stopped and looked at his knees.

How was he supposed to explain it to Rin when he was having trouble understanding it all himself. How does a person even put such feelings into words? Haru didn’t think it was possible. At least not for people like himself. He wasn’t a poet, he was just some guy who loved to swim and had trouble expressing himself about every day things. What he felt wasn’t common. He was still just catching glimpses of it and it was taking his breath away. What should he say?

That Makoto’s gentle smile made him smile? That he wanted to make him feel better when he wasn’t at his best?  That the fact that he knew that Makoto would always be there for him made him feel safe and protected? That when he had sensed Makoto shiver, he had hoped it was from his touch; that he had wanted to feel it again, cause it again? That he hadn’t wanted to let go of Makoto’s hand that day and had clutched at it, having to force his fingers open in the end? That Makoto had sat with him, next to a maple tree and could let Haru hold him up while he finally relaxed? That they could just let themselves be, when they’re together.

That he made Haru happy. That he wanted to make Makoto happy too.

All those words seemed so inadequate. So ordinary. Nothing Haru was experiencing felt ordinary.

He rubbed his face with his hands.

“It just is.”

_Rin, please._

“Make it yourself.”

His head snapped up and he could see Rin’s serious face on the other side. He wasn’t laughing as he usually did, he wasn’t even smiling.

“If you want it to be different, then make it yourself. It won’t matter to Makoto what it is, as long as you made it. You have been friends a long time Haru, there’s no one out there who knows you as well as Makoto does. There’s no one out there who knows him as well as you do. Think about what connects you.”

“I don’t…”

“You have time. Just think it over. You’ll figure it out.”

Haru nodded at him. “Thank you Rin. I really appreciate it.”

“What are friends for?”

Haru smiled. “Thank you again. I am sure you must be tired. You look better than last time though.” He cocked his head and looked at him. Rin did look better.

“I have been thinking about what you said, about Sousuke. You’re right. And I've decided to take this time for myself too, to work some things out. Well I am off to bed, I have another full day tomorrow. Oh and Haru?”

“Yes?”

Rin smiled at him “Think about that why. It does no good to ignore some things.” He gave a wave and disconnected. Haru rubbed his face once again and turned off his laptop.

~~

Makoto was antsy.

That was the best way to describe it. This was the third time in a row Haru begged off from either seeing him or talking to him. Oh, they had had their customary Sunday lunch and had fun. Haru had laughed at his sad attempts at jokes and then fed him a new curry recipe. Makoto had made them tea, a new blend he had added to their growing collection. They watered the bluebells and talked.

_I am overthinking it. He has sent me a number of texts after all._

And Haru had. More than usual, a little voice whispered. Some of them were a bit strange like the one where Haru told him he preferred beech wood to pine wood but on the whole it was their usual back and forth. Makoto couldn’t help but worry though. He kept going over their interactions and hoped he hadn’t given Haru any reason to feel odd around him. He was sure he was mostly himself but he still worried. It was just in his nature. He poked at his lunch and sighed _._ He really didn’t want to risk endangering their friendship.

“Ah Tachibana, knew we’d find you here.” Himura and the other two joined him at their usual bench for lunch. They opened their own bentous and got to it. “Now, we’ve got everything set up, my place because it would be awkward to have this party at the dorm. Here’s the address, as well as the time. Wear something nice. We’ve invited a few other people you know from University, nothing big. If your friend can make it after all, it will be no trouble.”

He’d forgotten about the birthday party _._ Makoto rubbed his neck, and was sure he was red in the face _._ He had been so preoccupied with Haru, and everything, that he had simply forgotten. Well, it may actually be a good way to get his mind off things and relax a little. Haru hadn’t even said anything about his birthday and Makoto wasn’t going to mention it. It would feel a bit strange, that. A night away and some fun with the others might just be the thing he needed actually.

“No, Haru’s quite busy but thank you. Oh and thanks for throwing me a party. I’ll be there!”

Himura smiled “Good, good. Matsushita’s bringing his girlfriend too. You haven’t met her yet, right?”

“Oh, no. But I’ll be glad to.”

Kagome looked at them sideways. “Better be careful there Matsushita. She might take one look at Tachibana here and decide she’d like to trade you in for a better model.”

“Oi!” Matsushita smacked him and they all laughed.

“No, no.” Himura waved his hands at them. “Tachibana will be busy talking to Koizumi I am sure.”

At this point Makoto was sure that he was bright red. “Himura. Koizumi is a nice girl but please don’t. It would be horribly embarrassing for her,” not to mention him but he couldn’t very well say that as it’d just goad the damnable man into continuing his teasing, “because she doesn’t feel that way. She is just being friendly.”

“You are blind Tachibana.” They all nodded, agreeing but Makoto refused to believe it, surely they were just teasing. True, they had met and had talked a bit several times that week but there was nothing there. She was just friendly because the others had invited her to the party. He ate slowly and kept out of the rest of the conversation. Kagome and Himura excused themselves soon after that, having quickly finished, saying they had some things to do, to finalize the matters for Saturday.

“When she confesses to you, please remember we tried to tell you so.” Matsushita piped up from opposite him. “Do try to let her down nicely. I mean you’re a decent guy, we are all aware of that but these things are always painful.”

Makoto looked up at him, surprised. There was an absolute conviction in Matsushita’s tone that he would turn the girl down. Even if they were right, and he ended up being surprised, shouldn’t he think there was a chance Makoto would try anyway? Why was he so sure Makoto would say no right away? Deciding that knowing the answer to that was worth any embarrassment he might feel he took a deep breath and asked “You are sure I’d say no, are you?”

“Eh, of course.” Matsushita shrugged. “I don’t know who you are in love with Tachibana but I can recognize that look on a person’s face when they get a text from someone they care deeply about. Your whole face lights up and you get that goofy smile and your eyes go all soft. Or you were really worried about someone a few weeks ago, it was obvious to anyone with eyes how bothered you were and how you kept checking your phone.”

_In love._

The two words echoed in Makoto’s head.

_In love. With Haru._

“So please, just be gentle with her all right? She’s quite nice. My girlfriend and she are friends, so I got to spend time with her, and she’s sweet and kind.”

“I could never be rude to someone in that situation.”

“I know. Just figured I’d tell you anyway.” Matsushita continued eating his lunch, he seemed satisfied now that he’d said what he needed to and left Makoto to his thoughts.

_Am I?_

~~

Makoto arrived home feeling both exhausted and restless. He took off his shoes and his jacket and then walked towards his desk. Glancing at the planner he had open on that week’s schedule he sighed _._ He had so much to do and it was steadily increasing as well. It was still fun though and he was enjoying learning all the new things. He was pretty certain that he would never have been able to handle it all otherwise. He left his bag by the desk and walked towards the bathroom. A good, long shower was calling him. Trying to concentrate on anything, when Matsushita’s words kept rattling around his head was going to be impossible so he needed to clear it. Makoto entered his bedroom and sorted through the closet, picking up a change of clothes.

Stepping under the spray of warm water was like stepping into heaven at that moment. He turned so that the jet pounded on his back muscles that were almost quivering with tension. The massage slowly loosened them and he sighed, bracing himself with both hands against the shower wall. He sensed the tension seeping slowly out of him and he pressed his forehead against the cool tiles.

 _In love._ He shook out his hair, sending the water drops everywhere. He felt strongly about Haru without a doubt, and he could even admit now that maybe it was more than friendship but in love? How does a person even know? He turned slightly so that his shoulder could get the same treatment and groaned. What if he was? That still wouldn’t mean a thing when it came to Haruka’s feelings. Not to mention, he was a professional athlete and Makoto was certain, about to be thrust into the spotlight. He was too talented not to be. They were both men. The world of professional sport could be so unforgiving. Of course, there was the issue of their families too, what would they think? Would they even tell them? Makoto rubbed his face with his hands. No, he really needed to sort out his own feelings first. Everything else would come later.

Staying under the shower as long as he could, listening to the water running seemed like a good way to catch a reprieve but eventually he had to get out. Makoto got dressed and then slowly walked to his desk, while towelling off his hair.

All right then. Time to study. That ought to take his mind off things. He needed to focus. He grabbed the book he required and slowly turned the pages, trying to find the topic they’ve been covering lately _._ Only then did he notice the unconscious motion of his other hand that was rubbing small, soothing circles against his chest. He blinked at it in surprise and then groaned. That was the shirt Haru had borrowed when he had stayed over at Makoto’s the last time before they had left for Tokyo.

Makoto's head slowly came to rest at the desk. _I am never going to forgive Matsushita for this._

A few days later, Makoto found himself contemplating that he actually shouldn’t even be thinking about forgiveness. No, he hated Matsushita. That seemed to be the appropriate response in that entire, messy, embarrassing situation.

He had finally managed to sooth himself enough to concentrate after that mortifying display with his shirt and the time had passed in fierce studying, all other thoughts banished except during night hours when he couldn’t prevent his mind from wandering into forbidden, dangerous, alluring dreams that were filled with hopes and maybes. Then Saturday had arrived and the party.

He had dressed nicely, managed to arrive on time and it had started out fine. Greetings, laughter and best wishes. Then Himura had announced that they should eat and had ushered them all towards the table. Apparently there had been a seating order, and while it had confused him, he had been game enough when they plonked him in the centre, and then sorted the rest of it out. He had been busy talking to Matsushita on his left, who was trying to get his girlfriend into the conversation too, to pay much attention to it. Only when the meal started, did he look to his right, where Himura had seated Koizumi.

Why did these things happen to him? He was going to drown Himura first and then he was going to drown Matsushita, after making him watch. If he hadn’t insisted that Koizumi had feelings for him, he could have had a nice, relaxing meal, talking to someone he hoped he might call a friend one day. As it was, it was simply plain awkward. Makoto rubbed the back of his neck knowing his face must have been red, and tried to answer the question about Iwatobi Koizumi had just asked him.

“Ah, well it is not a big place but yes, it is quite beautiful. Of course it could be I am simply biased and attached to it.” He smiled gently and then questioned if maybe he shouldn’t do that. But he had promised to Matsushita he would treat Koizumi kindly and honestly, he hoped that when he found himself in that situation, the other person would treat him kindly too. He was just going to act as if he normally would, nothing of this was her fault after all.

“We spent a lot of time swimming you see. We joined the swim club as children and then met others there and we had basically stayed friends until now. We are here in Tokyo and the others have scattered a bit but I am sure we are going to be keeping in touch.” Makoto sensed her questioning eyes on him. “That must be nice Tachibana-san, to have friends like that.” He nodded quickly and grabbed another bite of the squid, it really was good. “You keep saying “we” Tachibana-san. Who is here in Tokyo with you?”

“Haru of course.” He nodded and then grabbed a shrimp. Makoto saw her looking at him and was confused for a second before he realized what he had said. “Oh I mean Haruka, my best friend.” He frankly didn’t feel like talking to her about Haru though, anything apart from some vague, general talk felt private to Makoto. “We joined the club first and then met the others. But what about you Koizumi-san? Matsushita here tells me you’re friends with his girlfriend, Moto-san. Are you from Tokyo too?”

“Ah yes,” she said but he could feel her slanting a glance at him, even as she turned towards her own meal. “We actually went to the same high school here, much like you did and then it turned out we entered the same University. It was good to be acquainted with someone here, makes things easier.”

“Yes, it had been a great help for me that Haru was here as well” was out of his mouth before he could stop himself _._ He had managed to turn the conversation away from Haru and then had promptly turned it back. What was the matter with him? Makoto cleared his throat, figuring it was for the best if he just continued on. “Of course I met these three the first week. We ended up sharing the same bench for lunch and that as they say was that.” He lowered his voice a bit and whispered “I really don’t think anyone can stop Himura if he has decided that you are going to be his friend.” Koizumi covered her mouth with her hand and giggled quietly. “That’s certainly true!”

Himura got them all more drinks and then it was time for cake. “Come on Tachibana, make a wish first?”

“Eh?”

“Yes, a wish first, I saw it on TV. It is fun, come on!” Himura was cheering him on and the others joined.

A wish? Makoto blinked rapidly, truth be told, he hadn’t expected that one. How was he supposed to think of something right on the spot? That was so inconvenient. He supposed he could fake it but that was also wrong somehow. “Come on Tachibana, this is not that complicated!” Matsushita elbowed him and grinned. “Oi! It’s not easy! I did not expect having to do this. Now be patient.”

“Come on Makoto, don’t think too much. The first thing that comes to mind.”

_I wish …. I wish that this whatever I feel towards Haru won’t spoil our friendship._

He blew the candles out and let out a wobbly smile.

The room erupted into cheers and congratulations, the cake was cut and it was a generally jovial atmosphere. Makoto looked at them all and slowly finished his piece, then got to his feet.

“I am just going to step outside for a little while, I suddenly feel hot. Will you excuse me?”

The others waved him off, they were rowdy and having a good time, so it wasn’t difficult to slip away. He quickly put on his shoes and got out of the building. He had noticed the tiny park, probably for the neighbourhood kids right next to it and settled on a bench under a nice tree. Makoto had felt like the walls of that apartment had begun to close in and he just had to leave for some air. That was it, wasn’t it? What he feared the most? That somehow his friendship with Haru would end. He didn’t think he could bear that, he could not endanger it, he would not. Makoto leaned against the tree, his legs stretched out ahead of him, his head tilted back.

Watching the leaves sway in the gentle evening wind, he wondered at it all. He had spent so many hours thinking about it, the why of it but then, he simply wasn’t being honest with himself. He already knew why. So many memories they made, the two of them, so many defining moments. So many emotions. Their lives have been intertwined in so many, sometimes inexplicable, ways that were impossible to break. Did it even need explaining to others if the two of them understood? The wind ruffled his hair and he closed his eyes. It was a quiet autumn night and he felt like he could breathe. _So, am I?_

“Tachibana-san, I am sorry to interrupt but I got worried.” Koizumi appeared out of the dusk and smiled tentatively. “Are you all right?”

“Ah yes, thank you.” Makoto sat up startled from his musings. He wasn’t fit for company but she was just being considerate so he tried smiling. “Yes, just needed some breathing space, you could say.” He watched her nod and then walk over to the bench, seating herself down next to him. He moved a bit, wanting to give her room. Wanting to give himself some room, too. He looked up again, hoping this would not turn into what he feared. The leaves were rustling in the wing now and he stared at them, thinking of something, anything, to say but he wasn’t having much luck.

“Are you in love with someone right now, Tachibana-san?”

It was such a startlingly blunt question that caught him off guard and he had no time to think before his mouth opened and he was answering.

“I am.” He responded softly.

_And I am. When I don’t think about it all, when I forget about what should be, what cannot be, all that it remains is that I simply am._

“I thought so. Haruka is a lucky girl.”

“Haru is a boy. A man.”

“Oh! I see.” Koizumi looked at him with something akin to sadness in her eyes. “Tachibana-san?”

“Yes?” Makoto could not help but fear what was coming.

“I would like us to be friends.”

“Koizumi-san!” Matsushita had been right about everything that day, but more than anything else, he was right that she was kind. Makoto bowed to her “I would be honoured.” She hesitated but then lightly patted his hand. “I am going to go back in, I will tell the others you had a few phone calls for your birthday so you got delayed.” Having said that, she quickly walked away, leaving Makoto to sit alone and just breathe.

~~

“Come in Makoto, don’t just stand there.” Haru waved the spatula he was holding in his hand in the direction of the living room. “I really need to give you a key.”

Makoto’s eyes followed him as he retreated to the kitchen _._ He still looked like the old Haru. He snorted at the thought and then took of his shoes. Well of course he did. What was he even thinking? That he’d suddenly start seeing floating hearts around him or something? Maybe sakura petals, Makoto was sure Rin would tell him that was more appropriate. “Get a hold of yourself Makoto” he mumbled and shuffled into the living room. Everything had changed though, for Makoto. How was he supposed to act after his realization? He simply wished for more.

_I wish he’d remembered today was my birthday._

“Lunch is almost ready. I see you brought more tea.” He could hear the smirk in Haru’s voice. It lifted his spirits because Haru was obviously in a good mood too and all his previous worries that Haru might have thought he had acted weird seemed for naught.

“Yes, I think we can call it another tradition, along with these lunches.”

“What is it this time?”

“It is a Green tea and Wild orange blossom blend, for the most part. It should have a citrus flavour and the store owner hasn’t been wrong yet.”

“Citrus ah? Yes, that should do fine.”

“Ah?”

“Nothing, nothing. Food is almost done, so just sit down. I’ll be right out.”

Makoto leaned on the kitchen door and peered in. “Let me help, you seem to have quite a few things there.” But Haru only waved the spatula again, insisting. “Go sit down Makoto.” Seeing as Haru was adamant, Makoto took his customary position at the table and waited. It didn’t take long before Haru bustled out, carrying all sorts of bowls and dishes. Makoto could feel his eyebrows go up. He’d always enjoyed Haru’s cooking and their lunches were always the best food he’d eaten all week but this was more. He looked at Haru, surprise evident in his face.

“You didn’t think we’d have something simple for your birthday feast, right? Oi.” And with that he went back to the kitchen for another set of dishes leaving Makoto staring after him, eyes wide in surprise.

_He remembered._

Makoto ducked his head and tried really, really hard to suppress the grin that was threatening to break out. _He remembered._

They tucked in and Makoto sampled as much as he could, Haru glancing at him constantly as if to check if he was enjoying it all. It almost made Makoto snort as most of these were some of his favourite things to eat and he wanted to savour every bite. They chatted about old birthdays they had as kids in Iwatobi and their early times at the swim club, before Rin, before everything else. It was a calm, warm afternoon and Makoto was happy.

~~

Haru had ended up washing the dishes, while he lounged on the couch and tried to breathe. “I ate too much.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it Makoto, there’s no too much.” Haru retorted, still standing next to the table and Makoto motioned him over. “Why don’t you sit down Haru? You’ve worked a lot on this meal, rest.”

“Ah see, I don’t actually have a cake for you.”

“Oh I couldn’t eat another bite! That’s all right!”

“But I got chocolate cupcakes.”

“Eh?”

“The thing is, I was busy trying to work on your gift, so I was too late to order the cake, so I got you chocolate cupcakes. They’re quite good.”

“I’m sure they are.” Makoto was beginning to get a little confused because Haru seemed nervous, he was almost babbling. He kept rubbing the back of his neck and had his eyes averted from Makoto. “Wait, gift? Haru you didn’t have to get me anything. The meal was more than enough, that’s too much trouble!”

“No, it really wasn’t. I’ll be right back.” With that he disappeared into his bedroom, leaving Makoto looking after him, yet again. He could hear the sounds of shuffling and a soft curse but all he could think of was the warm feeling of hope that was spreading all over his body. They’ve had birthdays before, they’ve even spent whole days together sometimes but this, this was different. Everything in him was saying he wasn’t imagining it, there was something there.

Makoto heard the door open but he didn’t move to look. All he could do was take a deep breath after deep breath and try to calm his wildly beating heart.

The cushions next to him dipped as Haru settled down finally and Makoto turned his whole body towards him. Haru’s face was angled down and Makoto followed his gaze.

“Oh. Haru.”

Haru sat cross legged on the couch, also facing him, and in his lap was a canvas. A triptych canvas, done in beautiful oil paints.

The left side held a scene from their childhood. He recognized it right away. They were standing with the sunset in front of them but their faces were turned towards each other. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. The day Haru had asked him if he was afraid of the water. The day when his heart had felt so light because he finally had someone to share the burden he had been carrying for so long on his own.

The centre image made his heat clench. It was the two of them again, this time resting against the railing, with the pool for the Nationals as a backdrop. Their faces were again turned towards each other and they were smiling. Another day when he felt his heart suddenly become lighter, after a heavy burden has been lifted. He had been so desperate with failing to tell Haru in time and Haru being so lost over his own future and it was all wiped away in that moment and replaced with laughter and happiness.

The right side though, the right side was still blank.

Makoto looked up at Haru but his head was still bowed.

“Haru.” He said softly, hoping to get him to look up. “Haru.”

“I wanted it to be different.” Haru’s soft voice reached him.

“It’s beautiful.” Makoto reached towards the blank part of the canvas and lightly touched it. He tried ignoring that his hand was shaking. “Why blank?”

“Because we are yet to make that memory.”

Makoto could see Haru’s hand reach out for his. Haru’s long fingers lightly touched the back of his hand and Makoto didn’t even think before he caught them with his own, holding on with all his might.

“We will though?”

“One day.” Haru’s hair hid his eyes as he nodded, almost whispering. “Soon.”

“Soon.”

~~

The day had been another gruelling one and he’d walked out of University feeling quite tired. He knew Haru had one of his long practice days so he hadn’t wanted to disturb him but the idea of going back to his apartment wasn’t appealing either. He had remembered then, the one place that could relax and calm him, and he swung his bag onto his shoulder, suddenly smiling and feeling his spirits rising.

Red and yellow and a dash of green.

Makoto smiled as he walked the same path he walked once with Haru. The stones and the red bridge and the water. The song of insects and birds. He settled himself on their rock, next to the maple and gazed over the water.

They should make that into another tradition. He liked those they had so far and he knew there was room for more. He was looking forward to it. A swan whooped at him then and he laughed. Knowing this would amuse Haru, he took a photo of it and sent it along the text. _“It’s hungry again.”_ The autumn wind kept mussing his hair.

It didn’t take long for his phone to beep. _“It’s saying hello again.”_ Haru had texted him back.

The water carried Makoto’s soft, happy laughter.

He knew that one day soon they would both say yes.

He was content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this one with me, and I really hope it worked for you all :)  
> Swans all mine, love birds all KyoAni's.


	5. Chapter 5

#  Chapter 5

 

Makoto loved spending time in the library. It wasn’t just that it was quite convenient to study there, what with the silence and all the books at his disposal if he needed them, but it was the feeling he got when he sat there, in the middle of it all, of this vast, endless well of knowledge surrounding him. It was, he thought, similar to the ocean. The idea was quite thrilling to him. Makoto had found that he actually liked learning, much more so than before. He supposed it probably wasn't such a strange thing, it was something that interested him, something that would help him but still, maybe just a tiny bit, surprising. Sometimes he would catch himself looking up additional information or following up on something he didn't even necessarily need and it'd always fill him with both wonder and pleasure. He'd never have guessed it'd turn out like that if one had asked him just a few months ago. Simply put, he absolutely loved his time at University so afternoons like this weren't a chore, even if it wasn't easy. As usual, he hadn’t even noticed the minutes ticking away, he was so engrossed in his work so by the time he was ready to pack up, it had been more than three hours later and his back was killing him.

Stretching he looked around and almost groaned out loud. The windows were being pelted by fat drops of water. Rain and he had forgotten to take his umbrella with him. It was a heavy shower too, typical autumn outpouring. Well, there was nothing to be done, he had to get home. He slowly packed up and once in the hall, quickly checked his phone. He had texted Haru earlier that he’d be here until early evening but there had been no reply. Figuring he must be busy too, Makoto deposited it into his bag to keep it safe and got ready to brave the storm.

Pushing the heavy doors open he walked out, keeping to the portico and tried lifting the lapels of his jacket as high as possible while juggling his backpack. Suddenly he heard a soft, familiar laugh and saw a pair of shoes come to a stop in front of him.

“Haru?” he croaked. “What?”

Haru was indeed standing there with a blue umbrella, smiling at him.

“I was on my way home when it started raining. I figured you wouldn’t have one so I took a detour. I was going to look for you inside but no need now.”

“Detour? It’s in the other direction.”

“Come on Makoto, let’s go home. You owe me tea.”

“Haru.”

Makoto just smiled at him helplessly and then stepped under the umbrella. He was taller so he took over the carrying of it and then they were off. If his smile got bigger when Haru hooked his hand in the crook of his elbow, well, he honestly couldn’t blame himself.

~~

_This day couldn’t be over soon enough._

Haru felt his feet drag the last few steps to his door. He was done in. The day had been particularly exhausting, with a lot of gym work, which had never been his favourite, swimming at the club and then getting to Yamazaki who was turning out to be a relentless coach. It was paying off, because his times had already improved a lot and he was ahead of their plans but he was bone tired. Haru had one thought and one thought only on his mind and that was taking a bath. He wanted to soak for a good, long while and probably switch to bed at some point later, unless of course he fell asleep in the water, which has been known to happen. Not the best outcome but he needed to unwind.

He struggled valiantly with his keys and finally managed to unlock the door and step inside his haven _._ Staring at his shoes, he was ridiculously glad that they didn’t have laces and at that moment knew it truly was time to simply call it a day. Grumbling tiredly at himself, Haru ambled into the living room and then stopped as he saw his dining table.

_Maybe there’s a little more strength in me after all._

A large paper rested on top of the covered food that had been laid out for him.

“Haru! I know it’s one of those days for you and that you tend to skip meals then. Left you some food under the covers to help. Then shower (no bath, you don’t want to fall sleep in there!) and to bed! Sweet dreams! Makoto.

P.S. Those are Green Tea creampuffs. I went to the store where you said you got those chocolate cupcakes. These are heavenly too.”

Haru peered at the food and yes, three cream puffs were placed at the far end. He shook his head, smiling and then got to eating. Makoto knew him best.

_And all right, it might be smarter to take a shower, not a bath._

~~

“Haru?”

“Hmm?”

They were sitting in Makoto’s living room, each working on his own thing. He had another paper to write and apparently, Haru got homework from Sousuke too. Makoto couldn’t really tell Haru that this made him giggle a little bit but he did make appropriate supportive noises when Haru had come in that evening, complaining about having books to read. Of course Sousuke was right that learning a bit of theory wouldn’t hurt him, especially as they were doing this on their own but Makoto privately thought that by now, Haru considered it a bit of an obligation to grumble about things when it came to Sousuke.

“Remember I told you about those guys I met at University that threw me a birthday party?”

“Hmm.”

“Remember how they went with me to the pool the first time I went?”

“Hmm.”

“They, well at least Himura and Matsushita, for sure, will be joining me on Thursday again. You’ll be there with Sousuke right?”

“Oh, will they?” Makoto hid his smile behind his papers and heard rustling behind him, Haru was obviously putting his book away. _Knew that’d get your attention._ He nodded and pretended to shuffle the pages. “Yes, they did once before but it was a day you and Sousuke skip. I just figured I’d tell you because they’d love to meet you.”

“They know about me?” was whispered next to his ear and Makoto startled. He hadn’t heard Haru move and had to clear his throat as Haru being so close was making him want to squirm. “Ah, yes, of course they do. Naturally, I’ve mentioned you. They know about Rin too.”

“Hmm.”

He could feel Haru now leaning on the back of his chair and groaned inwardly. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. “Ah, anyway, I hope you don’t mind?” He tried turning his head but then thought better of it as Haru was right there and that alone was playing havoc with his body and mind. He swore he could feel Haru's breaths on his skin and who knew he would be so sensitive? That was about as much as he could cope with right then and there so he held still.

“No. I expected I’d meet them earlier than this. You did talk about them a lot.”

“Oh. Oh! Well it just never seemed to work out for you all and…”

“I’m just teasing you Makoto” murmured Haru and then straightened up. Makoto bizarrely wanted him to come back even if it was torture. Haru moved back to the sofa and his homework but not before a gentle, short touch to Makoto’s neck that made him shiver all over.

~~

“Who is that?!” Himura asked in an awed voice and pointed. “Don’t point Himura, that’s rude.” Matsushita answered and pushed his hand down. “And I don’t know but he does look impressive. I wonder if he’s a pro.”

“Ah, well, that’s Haruka.” Makoto came up behind them, having overheard Himura’s question. Not that it was difficult, considering his volume. If Sousuke had heard him on the other end of the pool, it wouldn’t have surprised Makoto. “My friend from Iwatobi.”

“Ha? Really?”

“Yes, remember I told you he would be here. He usually trains with team Ryuujin but he’s also here often enough because it’s easier on his coach sometimes.”

“Team Ryuujin? You never told us he was with them!” Matsushita almost sounded insulted and Makoto couldn’t figure out what was wrong. “Ah, yes?” Matsushita shook his head and then lightly smacked him on the arm. “Tachibana! Team Ryuujin is only the best team in Japan! You mentioned your friend who was in Australia and that’s great, of course, but Ryuujin! They had the largest number of swimmers in the Japanese National Team for three years now. Mizushima Daisuke is practically running that too.”

“Oh yes, I am sorry, I forgot you used to swim too and would recognize it.”

“Honestly, Tachibana!” Makoto looked at him apprehensively but only got a smile “But you’re forgiven. And it’s not like I talk about it a lot.”

“Still, I am sorry. I’ll introduce you later, once they’re done.”

Himura waved his hands at them both “Yes, yes, if you’re finished with that, can we swim some more now?”

They parted ways, all of them getting back into the pool to do some more laps. Makoto was slowly doing his while going over the brief talk with Matsushita. He actually did remember that the guy used to swim. It’s just that ever since the start he hadn’t been particularly keen on saying much about Haru. Oh he’d mentioned him, it would be impossible not to, so they knew of him but he’d never gone into any details.

Makoto wasn’t sure why though. It was different too from what he had felt when he’d talked to Koizumi, during the party. He hadn’t wanted to share his thoughts then because he felt like it was too intimate. This though wasn’t quite the same. He poked and prodded at the cause of it all, wanting to be honest with himself, especially now but he couldn’t quite pinpoint the source _._ It was true that he had kept back from talking about Haru on occasion, he could see it more easily now, when it would have been natural. There was nothing to be done though, except act differently in the future. He did tell Haru the truth after all, their own obligations couldn’t have been reconciled earlier and that was why they hadn’t met.

A small voice in the back of his mind piped up that he hadn't exactly been trying and going out of his way to make it happen either. He told himself that it would happen that night, so decided he’d had enough and turned, slowly swimming to the ladder. He craned his head and could see that Haru was floating at the edge of the pool, head submerged to his nose, listening to something Sousuke was saying. Whatever it was, it was followed up with wild gesticulating and Makoto almost snickered out loud. Those two truly were a pair!

Matsushita and Himura were already out, standing near the stands, and Makoto could see that Matsushita kept glancing at Haru and Sousuke. He walked up to them, and nodded his head towards Haru who was climbing out too now. “Want to go over and meet them? They’ve finished, it’s how they always end their sessions, with a discussion about it and what’s coming. Come on.”

Makoto waved at Haru and got a look in return, before Haru shook the water out of his hair. “Wow, he’s so amazing” came from Himura, making him frown. But then Haru smiled and he couldn’t do anything else but smile back at him.

“Ah Haru. You’re done?”

“Yes, it's over for today.”

“Let me introduce you then. Nanase Haruka, my friend from Iwatobi I told you about, Yamazaki Sousukem his coach, these are Matsushita Tadao and Himura Kazuhiko, my University colleagues.” They all exchanged greetings and small pleasantries, when Himura piped up “Ah I have an idea.” Makoto’s lips twitched because Himura always had ideas. “Let’s go get drinks and something to eat! It would be a shame not to, now that we have finally all met and it’s been several months.”

“Yes, let’s,” came surprisingly from Haru, “right, Yamazaki?” Sousuke slanted him a glance and nodded “Yes, why not! Let’s meet up outside, and we can go to that place we went to last time. It’s good!” They all shuffled out, agreeing to hurry up.

Luckily as they were all starving, nobody lingered and Makoto suspected they’d probably reached the restaurant in record time. Even Himura had been quiet during the commute, focused on their goal of food. They were already well into their meals when Matsushita turned to Haru, who was seated next to Makoto, and finally started up conversation. “Nanase, so this guy failed to tell us you’re with team Ryuujin! That’s truly something. When did you get picked?”

Makoto could see Haru giving him a side glance and rubbed his neck. He’d leave that explanation for Haru, later. If he could even give him one, not like he had much luck in explaining it to himself. “Ah yes, I got scouted at Nationals. Mizushima-san asked me if I wanted to join them so of course, I said yes.”

“Ha? Mizushima-san himself? Tachibana!”

He was sure he was tomato red in the face by then, everything was so embarrassing. “I told you, I forgot you’d recognize them.” Makoto grabbed his tea, and took a big gulp. This evening really wasn’t turning out how he planned. He could feel Haru leaning in and whispering to him “I’d expected you’d brag about me at least a little bit.” Makoto’s head whipped around and he was about to start apologizing again when he saw Haru was smirking, so he just had more tea. In the end he'd end up having too much liquid and spending the evening constantly running to the bathroom, simply wonderful.

“Ah, I’m just teasing you, to pay you back for keeping me in the dark.” Matsushita laughed. “Seriously though, that is something Nanase. What do you swim?”

“I only swim free.”

“He does the 50m, 100m and 200m but I think we might try the 400m too for next year.” Sousuke was nodding at Haru from across the table. “He can do it. He should have thought of it earlier too.” Makoto could see where that was going so decided it was better to jump in. “Well with you for a coach, I am sure it’ll be fine Sousuke.”

“Plus that’s good, isn’t it?” Matsushita added. “Japan has not medalled only in free and we’ve been lagging a bit there. Your other friend, Rin, you said he swims free as well?”

“Rin swims both free and butterfly.” Sousuke answered for Makoto, pride obvious in his voice and Makoto had to bite his lip in order not to smile. He was sure Sousuke wasn’t even aware of it. “He’s actually better in butterfly but he has always been a rival with this guy here” Sousuke jerked his chin towards Haru, “so he’s done only free sometimes. I’m sure he’ll do both for the Nationals though.”

“Yes, when we talked to him last, he said he was doing both.” Makoto answered, knowing that Sousuke wanted that information, even though he’d never actually come out and ask. He was confused about those two, and Haru had told him Sousuke still hadn’t contacted Rin, but it was also quite clear to Makoto that whenever he mentioned Rin and anything at all about him, Sousuke would soak it all up _._ He hoped that they would work it all out, he really did. Rin was going to be furious, Makoto was sure, with all of them.

Matsushita waved his hands at them. “Wait, Yamazaki-san, you are acquainted with them from before too? I thought only they were childhood friends. This is so strange!”

“Ah yes, Rin and I were childhood friends first, then he moved to swim in their club and that’s how it all started. We ended up reuniting last year, in high school. It’s a very long story, nothing special truth be told.” Makoto could see the incredulous look Haru was giving Sousuke and decided this was not the best line of conversation either but before he could say anything, Himura, who had obviously been feeling left out decided to have his say. “Well let’s toast then! For old, and new, friends!”

They all raised their drinks and Makoto breathed a sigh of relief.

“Nanase-san, you must allow me to come watch you at any meets you may have soon.” Matsushita was saying to Haru, “I hope it is all right if I go with Tachibana here.” Makoto looked at him and almost said no. He was stopped by the utter surprise at himself and his own reaction luckily but he couldn’t get rid of the feeling of possessiveness he suddenly felt towards Haru. _Oh! I see._

He also understood why it was more pounced just then, after all they were just beginning this dance of theirs.

“I am afraid I won’t be participating in anything open to the general public prior to the Japanese Nationals, if of course I manage to win my place in the team for it.” Haru was already answering, with Sousuke mumbling “You will, don’t talk like that.” Haru just waved him off and continued. “And of course, anyone can attend those. Thank you for your support.” He bowed quickly towards Matsushita then went back to his tea.

They’d talked about other things after, from TV shows to movies to other sports and Makoto concluded it was a fun night overall, glad that everyone was getting along and hoped Kagome and even Koizumi might join them next time.

~~

“So, keeping a bit quiet about me, ah?” Haru nudged Makoto with his shoulder. He had been slightly surprised when he heard Makoto had been so tight lipped about him and now found himself curious as to why. They were standing at the train station, almost on their own as it was quite late, and he was sure there was no danger of anyone overhearing them.

Makoto was slowly turning red and Haru felt bad suddenly. He didn’t mean to embarrass him. “Oh, it’s all right Makoto, we don’t have to talk about it.” But Makoto just shook his head at him and clenched his fists. “It’s just that,” and he looked down at his feet, “I didn’t really notice I was doing it.” Haru could see Makoto giving him quick glances and then looking down again, trying to avoid his eyes. “And then I didn’t know why.”

He paused and Haru felt on edge. A part of him now actually wanted to hear the rest but he also didn’t want Makoto to feel forced to say anything. “Makoto…”

“And then I almost said no to Matsushita when he asked to come with me, to watch you swim. I don’t like sharing you Haru. I don’t like sharing our time together.”

Makoto’s head was still bowed and he wasn’t looking at Haru at all now. Haru felt warmth spread through him and a giddy kind of happiness. He looked around quickly but they were hidden in shadows and no one was paying them any mind. He stepped closer to Makoto and took his hand, tangling their fingers.

“Well, I did tell him anyone can watch the Nationals.”

Makoto looked at him with a confused expression, not quite following.

“He can go on his own, he doesn’t need to tag along with you.” Haru nodded. “I don’t like sharing our time together either.”

He squeezed Makoto’s hand and they both smiled before glancing away, both of them blushing. Their train arrived then and they had to disentangle their fingers to board it, but as they stood there, looking through the window and occasionally meeting each other’s eyes in the glass, Haru thought that he probably understood Makoto better than Makoto would think. It was fun being with friends of course and they both enjoyed those times but Haru was not and never would be too social. His time with Makoto was always precious to him and he had feared losing that. To know it was the same to Makoto meant everything to him.

To know it went beyond their friendship made his body hum with joy.

~~

 _What?_ Haru was having a pleasant dream about walking on the ocean floor and playing with a fish school but that buzzing sound just would not stop. He finally managed to rouse himself enough to recognize it as his phone. He looked around blearily, not seeing it on the table and then managed to finally find it, tucked away behind one of the cushions, obviously having fallen in when he had almost collapsed after practice, all tuckered out and fallen asleep.

“Hello.”

“Oh Haru. I’m so sorry, did I wake you?” came Makoto’s worried voice from the other side.

“Makoto.” Haru rubbed his face with his hand, trying to get his brain to engage but he was having trouble. “Give me a second, I just need to get some water.” He left the phone on the couch and stepped towards the kitchen, when he remembered this was Makoto so picked up the phone again. “And don’t fret, it’s fine. I’ll be right back.”

He drank some water, then refilled the glass and padded back to the room. “Ah, I’m here. Yes, I’m sorry, I came from practice and passed out on the couch.”

“I’m so sorry for waking you, you should return to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“I am telling you, it’s fine. Plus this way I can take that bath that I really need to loosen up some muscles before I go back to sleep. How are you?”

“Oh, well but all studied out. My muscles are all cramped. I may take a warm bath myself. That’s a good idea. But yes, that’s not why I called. I mean, I wanted to hear how you were of course … “

“Makoto, breathe, I get it. So what’s up?”

Haru could hear Makoto clearing his throat and smiled. _This is my Makoto all right._ “We totally forgot about Rei!”

“Rei? Is he coming to Tokyo? I didn’t know that.”

“No, Haru. His birthday! Nagisa texted me and asked if we could Skype a bit on Sunday, before they go shopping for Rei’s birthday party and I felt so bad. All this studying and, well, everything, and it completely slipped my mind.”

“And mine because if you don’t remind me, I don’t remember birthdays.”

There was silence from Makoto and then quiet, almost tentative words reached him. “Except mine.”

Haru sensed he was blushing but he remembered Makoto at that train station the other day, willing to share his feelings, to share himself so he wanted to be as open as he could be too. “Except yours. But that’s different.”

“Yes, yes it is,” he could hear Makoto softly saying and smiled. “But! Yes. Rei.” Some more throat clearing and “so what are we going to do? We still have ten days but better safe than sorry. I asked Koizumi and she said that we should just go to this craft fair a day after tomorrow. She’s been before to find gifts for some friends and that should be your afternoon off, right?”

“If I knew what day was today…”

“Haru!”

“Hold on, am looking at my schedule. Not sure why I bother, you know it better than me and yes, that’s my afternoon off. We should go. Is Koizumi coming along?” Haru was conflicted about her. She seemed very friendly and nice, but Makoto had told him the whole story and how it all started and he just couldn’t quite settle. Before he could get thinking about it, Makoto was already answering. “No, I thought just the two of us?”

“I’d like that.”

“Me too.”

“Should I meet you at the station, so we can ride together?”

“It’s a bit out of your way Haru.”

What a ridiculous notion, he mussed. There was not such thing, not when it came to Makoto and being able to spend more time with him. “No, it’s not. I don’t mind.”

“All right, see you at 3! Sleep well.”

“You too Makoto. See you!”

Haru hung up and finished the rest of his water. Yes, that had definitely been worth being woken up for. _And now, my bath._ He tried really hard not to think about Makoto taking one at the same time.

~~

“How are we going to find anything at all in this mess?” Haru turned his head right and left, and all he could see was an endless mass of people pressing in close to the stalls. Makoto scratched his ear and then looked at him with a resigned expression on his face, his shoulders drooping. “Let’s just wander around a bit. Who knows we might find something nice.”

They walked around for a while, occasionally one of them pointing out an interesting display but they weren’t having much luck. Not that either one of them had the slightest clue what to get him, which was probably making the search that much more difficult. Haru considered how in spite of that, he wasn’t too frantic about finding just the right thing, unlike that time for Makoto’s birthday. Feelings were so strange. He spotted a flash of black and white, and craned his head, only to make out a rather nice plush. “Maybe something with penguins?” He eyed the other animals that seemed to be spawning from the stall, before returning his attention to the one he’d seen first.

“Eh?”

Haru pointed at the soft toy. “How about that?”

“Well,” Makoto picked it up and turned it around in his hands, “this reminds me more of Nagisa.”

“Yes. Which is why we could buy it for Rei.”

“Rei has to handle Nagisa as it is Haru, let’s not bombard him with even more Nagisa things. Poor man has to rest some time. He’d have penguin-Nagisas chasing him in his dreams if we buy him this!” Haru felt his lips twitch and eyed the penguin with even more interest. “Don’t be mean Haru-chan.” Came from Makoto, even if his own lips were twitching too.

Haru lifted an eyebrow at him and poked him with his finger. “Drop the chan.” He turned away from the stall, “but all right, how about that one?” and pointed at the opposite side where miniatures of some kind seemed to be lined up. Makoto returned the plush and ambled on and Haru took his chance. Paying quickly for one that was placed in the back and had caught his eye, he located Makoto and then joined him.

“Eh, Haru, you bought a dolphin? For yourself then?”

“No, for you.” He handed Makoto the animal without much ceremony, and walked to the next display, even if the paper fans were definitely not something Rei might want. He could hear Makoto joining him and see the happy smile on his face, the way he was cradling the dolphin was making Haru feel warm to his toes.

“Thank you Haru.”

He just nodded shyly, looking down, suddenly feeling embarrassed but happy. Tugging at Makoto’s sleeve he got them moving again, thinking that day was a success already even if they never found Rei’s gift. He still dutifully carried on looking.

“Oh look Makoto.” Haru nodded towards one of the near by stalls that sold all kinds of jewellery.

“Are you sure Haru?”

“Yes, why not? We might find a necklace or a bracelet. Plus, remember, Rei loves beautiful things.”

The stall was run by a teenage girl, who had her hair braided with blue and purple cords. Haru found himself approving, those two colours were so pretty. Suddenly Makoto’s hand clenched on his shoulder and he looked up. Makoto was almost frowning at him and Haru found him adorable. He patted Makoto’s hand, and looked pointedly at the gift he was clutching close to his chest. Makoto blushed and gave him a sheepish smile and Haru smiled back. _It’s not like I am any better but at least we can be embarrassed together._

“How may I help you?”

“Ah yes, about that,” Haru started seeing as Makoto was studying his shoes, “we are looking for a birthday gift for a friend of ours. He likes beautiful things, so your booth seemed perfect.”

“Thank you so much, you are very kind. Do you know if he would like anything in particular?”

“I am not sure, he never spoke of it to be honest but we were thinking about a bracelet maybe, or a necklace? Right Makoto?” Haru tried getting him to join the conversation but Makoto just nodded his head and stayed silent.

“He was born in December, right?” Haru bobbed his head once in reply and she tapped her finger against her lip, obviously thinking it over. He had no problems waiting for as long as possible, they needed help. “Ah! You see, as a December baby your friend’s birthstone would be turquoise. Maybe something like that?” She started pointing out a few necklaces and bracelets and even a pair of ear-rings, unrepentantly shrugging when Haru looked at her. He guessed she was right, there was no way of knowing what a person may like. Though the idea of Rei and an ear-ring made him cackle in his head. Managing to focus, he peered at various things on offer when Makoto finally found his voice. “Oh Haru! There, that one!”

Haru turned his gaze to where Makoto was looking and saw it right away. It was a beautiful, tear drop pendant, blue with tiny flacks of black, with a lovely silver wire forming a net at the bottom of it, as if to fish it out of the water. He agreed right away. “That’s perfect Makoto! Rei is going to love it!” The girl smiled at them both, happy that they found what they were looking for and that she made a sale, and soon it was nicely wrapped up. They paid for it and were off.

“Ah, good. Are we going to mail it right away, it’s wrapped up already?” Haru peered up at Makoto, who happily accepted. “There’s a post office on our way back, it should arrive at Nagisa’s with plenty of time to spare and I’ll tell him to give it to Rei at the party.”

“Good. Now let’s finish this and then have some tea.” Haru could see Makoto was struggling to say something and he could guess really so he just grabbed his sleeve and started walking, not letting go. Makoto followed, smiling into his plush.

~~

_I hope he doesn’t panic._

Haru listened to the phone ringing on the other side and tapped his finger against the armrest in an uncharacteristically open show of nerves. He tried thinking how he would feel if the situation was reversed and groaned. _He is so going to panic._

“Haru! Hi!”

“Makoto, hey. How is studying going?”

“Good, good, it’s going well. Plenty to do today yet though.” He could hear Makoto sigh and he commiserated. He was going through yet another book Yamazaki had foisted on him, though, truth be told, it was interesting and he could already see how they could use some things in the near future.

“Ah yes, I’m reading myself. I was just calling to say my parents sent me an email, they’re going to be visiting next week. They’re in Tokyo on business.”

“That’s wonderful. You haven’t seen them in a while, you might be able to meet up with them?”

“Yes, they invited me to dinner. Actually,” he wiggled on the couch, unable to find a comfortable spot, “they invited us to dinner.”

“What?”

“Yes, they …”

“I can’t go!”

 _Knew he would panic._ “Makoto.”

“Haru!” Makoto’s voice was getting high and Haru suddenly wanted to give him a hug. “Makoto, you’re my best friend. You have been since we were kids. They are aware you’re in Tokyo, they want to see us both. That’s all. We’re going to have a nice dinner, you’ll talk about University and then we go home.”

“Right. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I understand, we are going to have to talk about this but not just yet.” Haru knew that telling both their parents was going to be tough but it was something they’d have to decide together. There was time, they were still not there though he hoped it would be near in the future. “Now it’s just a dinner. I’ll email you the restaurant name and directions, is that ok? I cannot cut my practice with Yamazaki so I’ll have to go directly from the pool.”

“Do you mind if I come meet you there?”

“Ah, no. That’s fine. I’d like that. Go study now, I have my own homework.” Haru sighed in an exaggerated manner and when Makoto lightly laughed he felt better. He really didn’t want him to dread this, it was just a dinner.

~~

“So Haru, how is your training going? I know you said you didn’t want to go to University now and that the practice will take up a lot of your time, but your father and I still worry.” Haru’s mother looked at him, from the opposite side of the table, where she was seated with his father. Haru was sitting next to Makoto and they were waiting for their food to be served. Makoto was playing with his water and Haru wished he could catch his hand or even just give him a light nudge but he feared it would only make him more nervous.

“Well mother, thank you.” He focused on his parents, who actually seemed to be interested in hearing how the training was progressing. Of course he could understand their worries as well. They weren’t close, but he knew they loved him and worried about him. When he’d told them that he wanted to pursue a career as a professional swimmer they hadn’t put up much or any resistance. They had agreed, considering that this had been his wish, and had told him not to worry about finances. Not that this was an issue in their family but they still could have said no. They had asked if he was sure, for the life of a professional athlete was difficult and there was no guarantee of success but they had supported him.

He was very thankful for it, he truly was. They could have made this far more difficult but they hadn’t. It had also made him feel strangely pleased, at the time; that they’d trust in him and in his ability to make these choices. He hadn’t expected that, the need for approval still being there after all that time. Concentrating on the present, he tried sharing some more of his dream with them.

“I’m working with a good coach now and it is hard work but you know how much I love swimming.” His parents chuckled at that and his father shook his head. “There’s a bit more to the professional world of swimming than just the love for it Haru.” Haru nodded and took a sip of his own water. “Of course father but I would never be able to devote this much time to training if I didn’t love swimming itself. I do care about the times and being the best I can too though. I want to swim at the Olympics; that is my goal.” He could see Makoto turning to look at him and he smiled. “I want to win.”

“That is a big goal Haru.” His mother murmured.

“He can do it!” Makoto cut in, then blushed. “Oh Makoto, ever the good friend.” Haru’s mother smiled at him but Makoto though would not be dissuaded. Haru marvelled at the sudden burst out of the normally much more shy man. “No, I am not talking like Haru’s friend but someone who has watched him swim, and get better at it, for years. Nobody knows how good Haru is, as much as Rin and I, and we both think he’s going to do it. You’ve only seen him swim in that relay for the Nationals but Nanase-san, when he swims on his own, every swimmer can tell right away he’s something unique.”

Haru looked at Makoto, whose eyes were shining, his voice firm and felt a surge of emotion towards Makoto flood him. He quickly grabbed his water with both hands and looked down because this insatiable need to kiss him right then was almost too much to hold in, his parents, and this place be damned.

“Goodness Makoto,” she softly cut the silence, and Haru peered at her through his fringe. “Well, if you say so. You do know Haru the best after all.” Makoto just nodded, obviously at ease first time this night. Haru smiled again and had some more water. “And how are your own studies going?” Haru’s father joined the conversation again, “Haru told us you were at the department for sports education?”

Their food got brought out at that very moment and they fell on it with gusto, as Haru’s parents had chosen a very well-known restaurant. The first hunger was sated when Makoto picked up the conversation again where they left off.

“Yes, sports education for children specifically. The world of professional athletes is not for me, though I will be cheering Haru on. And Rin of course. But this is something I love and I want to help as many kids enjoy it too.”

“That’s fantastic Makoto! Is it very difficult?” Haru’s mother asked, obviously charmed by Makoto but then Haru found that perfectly natural. Who wouldn’t be?

“There is a lot to learn, human anatomy especially is a difficult subject but I love it, so it’s worth it.”

“Don’t let him fool you,” Haru jumped in, “he studies all the time. He’s holed up either in the library or at his apartment but if you ask him at any point of the day what he’s doing, he’s going to tell you he’s doing something for school. He’s working very hard and it’s going great for him, even if he won’t say so himself. All his teachers love him.” Haru could see Makoto’s face which held both embarrassment and confusion so he just shrugged. “Matsushita told me, that’s one of Makoto’s friends from University, we all met just recently. We talked a bit about you, while you were talking to Yamazaki. Matsushita respects you Makoto.”

“Of course,” his mother nodded, “Makoto is a wonderful young man.” Haru thought her eyes were almost twinkling but then decided he was just imagining it.

Makoto’s face went pink then but he was obviously determined to move the conversation away from himself because he nodded at Haru. “Haru here studies as well.”

“What?” Haru’s father exclaimed.

Haru felt like he had no choice but to explain, though he wasn’t really sure he wanted to get into the complicated waters that was his relationship with Yamazaki. “My coach, he decided I should know some theory too because it would make the sessions more productive. We have a very particular relationship, he asks for my input too so that it is all as efficient as possible, considering our strong views on swimming.”

“He’s right, it has been going better too.” Makoto added and Haru had to agree. “Yes, it has. I’ve even borrowed a book or two from Makoto, he was happy to help.”

“He sounds like a serious man, I am pleased to hear this Haruka.” His father said, finishing off his meal. “You are aware we had our doubts, and as your mother said we still worry, but this is all very reassuring. It seems like this is a very good team.”

Haru caught himself just in time because of course, Yamazaki had nothing to do with his team and yet he couldn’t tell his parents that. Luckily, as always, Makoto came to his rescue. “Yes, Ryuujin is probably the best team in the country Nanase-san, they have the best training facilities too _.”_ All of which was true and Haru almost laughed out loud just how neatly Makoto had side stepped all the issues. “I know Haru so he probably hasn’t told you but it is a real honour to be asked to join Ryuujin.” Haru nodded, blushing a bit, and returned to his meal.

“Well boys, I am happy to hear how well you are both doing and how hard you are working. Haruka,” she smiled at him then nodded at Makoto too, “Makoto, this is one of the reasons why we’ve invited you here.” Haru glanced at Makoto but he saw only confusion on his face, which probably mirrored his own. “Here,” his mother said, passing a few pieces of paper to him, “you told us you’re not going back to Iwatobi for New Year but a pair of young men should have a little fun, especially after working so hard. It’s a little holiday, nothing special, to a Ryokan, with an onsen near Tokyo. Just relax and enjoy yourselves.”

Haru took them from her, feeling really happy that they’d have this opportunity. If he were being honest with himself, he did need a little break. And Makoto was studying too hard, he could definitely need one. Haru glanced at him and confusion reigned. Makoto was turning beet red in front of his eyes, his head bowed. Haru wasn’t sure what happened but he quickly turned his eyes to his parents, trying to draw their attention to himself. “Ah, thank you so much, mother, father. This is wonderful. We could use a rest. Thank you!”

Makoto cleared his throat, but his voice came out as a high squeak. “Ah yes, thank you very much, I truly appreciate that you have thought of me.” He cleared his throat again and stood up. Haru wondered if he should offer to help him, he honestly looked odd. “Will you please excuse me for a second?” He bowed quickly with Haru’s mother piping up once he’d moved away for a bit. “His poor face is so red, maybe he bit into something spicy.”

Haru saw Makoto trip at this and hoped that he’d reach the bathroom in one piece. _What happened? I hope he’s all right._

~~

_I am going to die._

Makoto concentrated on getting to the bathroom and not walking into any of the waiters that were darting around with large plates of food. He definitely did not need any more embarrassment at that moment. In fact, he was pretty certain he couldn’t take any more. He managed to locate the entrance quickly enough though and shut the door behind himself. Going straight for the sinks, he splashed some water onto his face, trying to cool off before he stared at the image of himself in the mirror. He could not get any more red in the face, he was sure of it.

He didn’t want anyone seeing him in this state, so he entered one of the stalls to try and compose himself. All right, it was going to be all right. He breathed deeply and tried not thinking about the onsen. _Onsen. Haru naked._ He hadn’t realized right away of course but as Haru took the leaflets from her and he saw a photo of the baths, the thought of a naked Haru had popped into his head and his body responded. He was so lucky he had chosen that particular button down for the night. This was not happening! Those were Haru's parents out there! Makoto decided that this was probably the most mortified he has ever felt.

Why just then? He rubbed his face with his hands. He’d seen Haru naked before. Haru had seen him! He needed to calm down because he couldn’t very well stay there for the evening.

But that small voice that had been making itself known more and more spoke up again. _Ah, but it is different now, isn’t it, as Haru would say._ Makoto sighed heavily because yes, it was different. Everything was different and yet, in some ways the same. Only better. Better was good. And worth even embarrassment like this _._ He needed more water to cool off and then he needed to return. It would definitely start looking odd if he waited any longer.

Makoto peeked outside but there was no one else present, to his great relief. He splashed some more water onto his face and happily noticed that his colour was going down. All right, he could do this. He just needed to think about books, and maybe school, and Haru’s parents and it was all going to be just fine.

He walked back to their table and Haru’s mother stopped her conversation with her son. “Ah Makoto, are you all right?” He quickly nodded not wanting to dwell on it, “yes thank you, I am sorry. Must have bit into a spice or something. All is well though.”

“Good, good. I was just telling Haru that we booked one of the rooms for you with a private bath. You’re really going to enjoy yourselves. Nobody is going to interrupt you either.”

Makoto almost groaned.

_I am so going to die._

~~

They needed a nice, simple evening. Makoto sighed as he waited for Haru to open the door and knew they made a good call when they agreed on that night. He also needed to stop thinking about that damnable onsen if he were to make it happen.

“Makoto! Come in, but honestly, you have a key, use it.” Haru waved him in. “Tea?” and Makoto could only happily smile and nod. “Of course. A new blend. And I brought some snacks too. Did you pick up the DVD?”

“Of course, I’ve already got it all set up.” Makoto made a beeline for the kitchen and started preparing the hot drink while Haru took the snacks out of his hands and started filling the bowls. “I must admit I am ready to have a quiet night at home. I have exams and papers for this semester coming up and I understand Sousuke’s upping your training so we need this.” He returned to the tea preparations and concentrated on the water, he didn’t want to mess anything up. By the time he was done and carrying the tray with the cups to the room, Haru was leaving the bedroom, lugging a couple of blankets.

“Oh?”

“I thought we could relax here.”

Haru took the tea set from him and carried it to the table, where the rest was set up. Makoto wasn’t quite sure where to sit but apparently Haru had thought it all out and pointed to the floor in front of the couch. “Sit.” Makoto got pushed down and he chuckled. Haru really could be quite forceful when he knew what he wanted. He sat down, still chuckling, as Haru turned off the lights. Just as he was about to tuck himself in, Haru returned and tapped his foot with his own.

“Haru?”

“Make some space for me.”

“Eh?”

“You are resting against the couch, I’ll use you.”

Makoto emitted a high pitched sound, that he promised himself he’d deny ever making if anyone ever asked him. He was not sure there was a chance in hell that was going to be relaxing. He gulped but obliged Haru anyway. Haru who seemed totally unconcerned to Makoto’s eyes and happily made himself at home by resting on Makoto’s chest, tucked in-between Makoto’s long legs. Makoto grabbed the blanket and covered them both, and Haru let the DVD run.

“Ah, what are watching Haru?”

“A movie with Daniel Radcliff. “What If””

“Oh Harry Potter!”

“Yes, him.” He turned the movie on and Makoto slowly relaxed. He didn’t even realize that at some point he moved his hand to embrace Haru across his stomach. It was a good movie and he was completely engrossed in it, wondering how it was all going to end, the empty bowls and cups discarded on the table long ago, when he sensed Haru move. Makoto loosened his hold, thinking Haru wanted to get up but instead Haru just turned sideways, tucking his head into the crook of Makoto’s neck, his hand clutching to Makoto’s shirt. “You’ll tell me how the movie ends later, Makoto?” Haru whispered and Makoto couldn’t help but shiver, as Haru’s breath tickled his neck.

“Yes, I’ll tell you, sleep.”

Haru’s breathing slowly started evening out and Makoto tangled his fingers in Haru’s hair, gently soothing him. “Sleep.” He murmured again, lips against Haru’s forehead, thrilled beyond belief that Haru could trust him so, relax enough to sleep, and then returned to watching the movie, never stopping the gentle caresses of his fingers through Haru’s hair.

After all, he did promise to tell him how the movie ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're courting :) I just love the idea of them easing into this new stage, can't help it!  
> All mistakes mine, the rest KyoAni's.


	6. Chapter 6

#  Chapter 6

 

Makoto stared at the page in front of him but the words appeared to be swimming and jumbled, and his head was splitting. Rubbing his temples didn’t seem to be working but he couldn’t help but try again. His head finally fell against the book and he groaned. Three more chapters still had to be done before tomorrow according to his planner. Two of his classes were one semester only and he had exams while the others required papers and he was struggling to keep everything done.

Lifting his head he peered at his phone _._  Four in the morning, no wonder he was so tired. He hadn't gone to bed before that for a few days already. And yet, he still had so many things to do. He slowly got up and went to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he stared at the energy drink there, wondering if he should have it. He knew though that getting to sleep would be near impossible if he did. Thinking of the not so small mountain of paper he had on his desk and on the floor around it, not to mention how fatigued he already was, he sighed and grabbed the can.

_It’ll be better if I don’t sleep, I can get more things done._

~~

“Tachibana! Tachibana!”

Makoto heard his name being called but he was beyond exhausted and just wanted to go to his next class, and the one after that, and then get home to take a nap. He still had two more papers to write. He knew there was plenty of time but he just wanted to be sure it was all done, there was a part of him that feared he’d miss the deadline so it drove him to finish it and finish it now.

“Tachibana! Wait!”

He didn't want to though.

He really, really wasn’t feeling social at the moment but he couldn’t just ignore his friends there. Stopping he turned and attempted smiling for Matsushita who was trying to reach him, struggling through the corridor full of harried students. It was obvious the semester was coming to an end, everyone looked tired.

“I thought you didn’t hear me!” Makoto shrugged at him “I’m sorry Matsushita but I was thinking about what I wanted to put in my final paper for the next class. You know how I get.”

Matsushita grabbed him by the arm and pulled him aside. “Yes, I do. Tachibana, you look awful. Are you getting sick or something?” Makoto almost choked on air at even the idea of it. “No! I am not getting sick. Perish the thought. I was just studying and ended up not sleeping. It’s not a big deal, I’ll take a nap when I get home today after the classes are done. It’ll be fine.”

“Look Tachibana, I don’t mean to nag at you but this doesn’t look like just one unslept night. I know, I’ve been there. Forget about a nap, when we’re done, go home, take a bath and simply sleep man. Come on, let’s go have lunch.” Makoto honestly wasn’t hungry so he just shook his head “No, I think I’m going to grab a seat and do some more reading before class starts.”

“You have to eat. I don’t care what you say, come on.” The next he knew, he was being dragged through the corridor to their bench and deposited next to Koizumi. “Now wait here and don’t move.” Matsushita wagged his finger at him and stalked off. Makoto was left looking after his rapidly disappearing form then shrugged at the others who went back to their lunches and discussions.

Koizumi smiled tentatively at him “Are you all right Tachibana-san?”

Why did everyone keep asking him that? He was perfectly fine. Just a little under the weather perhaps but it was no big deal, it was that time of the semester. Everyone had similar obligations they were hurrying to fulfil. “Yes, thank you. Just pulled a full night of studying. It will happen again soon, I am sure, it’s the nature of exam time. Matsushita is just being a mother hen.”

“Oh yes, I did that for the weekend and then ended up sleeping over half of Sunday. It is becoming impossibly difficult to balance out sleep and studying but I think I’ll try and avoid any more sleepless nights, it’s definitely not beneficial to me and we still have plenty of time.” Koizumi was sweet but Makoto knew he wasn’t like her. He was managing just fine and it would be foolish to wait till the last minute.

“Here we go Tachibana, some soup and rice. You don’t need anything else now. Just make sure to eat properly once you’re home and have slept some.” Matsushita put the food in front of him, trying to balance his own tray which was filled with far more. Makoto wanted to snap at him and rubbed his face. He was too irritable, Matsushita was just being a friend and he should be grateful. “Thank you Matsushita, I am sorry.”

His apologies just got waved off though. “No, it’s nothing. Eat up!”

Makoto managed to slowly eat his soup but he already felt full with it. He wasn’t in the mood but figured that he had to make at least some attempt at conversation, especially since Matsushita had been so nice to him. Even if it was a little annoying. “How is Moto-san?”

“Ah, fine, fine, thank you. She’s also stressed due to the semester ending, as are we all but we do manage to set aside some time to meet. I feel it’s important, especially as we’re still starting our relationship.” Makoto nodded but he was only half listening as a part of him was going over the paper plans by then.

“I know,” Koizumi smiled at them, “let’s go to the movies in a few days, maybe Thursday. We are all working really hard but we need a bit of a break too.” The others all turned to her as soon as she had mentioned the word movies, and they started making plans for two days from then.

At that point though, Makoto was fully focused on thinking about a book he needed to check out from the library in order to use a part from it to substantiate one of his points, so he just made vague humming noises when others addressed him, not wanting to be too rude. Yes, he definitely needed to head over to the library first when classes ended. It wasn't a big detour anyway, he would still get home with plenty of time for a nap.  _  
_

~~

“Oh Nanase, that looked great.” Haru turned and sketched a little wave towards Hamasaki. “Hello. Haven’t seen you in a while.” They had gone out for a drink one other time but mostly kept in touch via texts as their schedules were overlapping for the most part and Haru had the extra time with Sousuke. “I hope you don’t mind I timed that last one?” Haru shook his head, he honestly didn’t, Hamasaki wasn’t competition and even if he were, it’s not like his times were a secret. “Ah, glad to hear it. Anyway, I kept an eye out on some of the other free swimmers here and you are level with their fastest times.”

He gave Haru a slap on the back and grinned “But I guess all the training is paying off. It’s no wonder you’re never around. The guy you’re working with, he’s good?” Haru raised an eyebrow but nodded. “I was just worried that you don’t peak too early, am glad to hear he’s taking good care.”

Haru smiled before responding. “He is. We’ve had some discussions but he’s being quite firm about it. We’ve discussed tapering in the future too.” He didn’t bother talking about the fact that he was still not convinced of the whole concept. He was due another discussion about it with Sousuke soon, he was sure of it so he didn’t feel like getting into it with Hamasaki as well. There was no doubt what he would say but it simply went against Haru’s instinct.

“I’m glad to hear that. I must confess, I was worried that day, when we met.”

“So was I.”

“You certainly didn’t show it! Oh, I was wondering, how do you feel about a night out? A few of the other swimmers, my sister and her boyfriend and of course, the two of us, nothing big. There's a nice place we sometimes go to. How does Thursday sound? Bring a friend or a girlfriend if you want.”

“Ah, no girlfriend but I might ask a friend.”

“That’s settled then, looking forward to it!”

 “Just text me the details. See you later Hamasaki, and thanks!”

~~

“I think we’re done for the day Nanase.”

Haru shook the water out of his hair and swam to the edge where Sousuke was standing. “I thought I could do another aerobic set and then be done.” His coach scowled at him. “No, you’ve already finished. Come on.” He pointed at Haru to get out of the pool and after thinking it over, he did.

“Are you meeting Tachibana tonight?” Sousuke suddenly asked, making Haru look at him in confusion.

“No, he’s swamped at University. I don’t think we’ve even talked properly for the last several days but he’s got two exams coming up and papers to hand in so he’s quite busy.”

Sousuke smirked at him and really, Haru was aware he was sounding a bit petulant but he missed Makoto. He was also sure Makoto was on the verge of overworking himself but Haru didn’t want to interfere. Makoto was an adult and he knew he, himself, wouldn’t want anyone telling him how much to study. Of course in his case, he did have someone trying to tell him exactly that. Or something like that _._ He was certain he could have done that set.

“I know you’ve formed a bit of an obsession with tea Nanase,” Haru blinked at him, “so I’ve got a nice one at home. We need to talk more about some of the things coming up and privacy’s good. My apartment is not far actually. Get changed and we’ll head out.” Sousuke didn’t even wait for an answer but stalked off in the direction of the locker rooms. Haru had no choice but to sigh and to follow him, thinking this was becoming a habit.

When Haru found himself in Yamazaki Sousuke’s living room less than an hour later, he still couldn’t quite believe that he had been invited to his home. They did work well, especially lately but still, that was a surprise. Never mind that Sousuke seemed to have gotten a new tea blend to try. How did he know about that anyway? Oh Makoto, he must have told him, they were keeping in touch ever since Sousuke had started training Haru. He turned in his chair to get a better look at the room and then stared at the corner near the window. It had two large bookcases that were overflowing with books and a desk nestled next to one, filled with papers and charts. A laptop sat in the middle of that mess, though it was probably an organized mess, knowing Sousuke, and above on the wall a board was placed. It was full of more charts and his schedule and, Haru peered, obviously more planned schedules. Sousuke was apparently meticulously preparing for Haru’s sessions. This made him think so he got up and walked over to the closer bookcase. It was much like he had imagined. Anatomy, sports education, various swimming books, even a psychology one. He craned his neck to take a look at one title and noticed the wear of it. It was old, in fact, quite a few of those were older than a few months.  Nodding to himself because it only confirmed his ideas that this was something Sousuke had been interested in for a long while, he went back to his seat, just in time for tea to be brought out.

“Snooping Nanase?”

“Yes.”

Sousuke snorted and poured. He settled in a chair opposite Haru’s and spread his hands. “As you have probably seen there, I do have plans.”

“I’m glad to hear it Yamazaki. But I am telling you, I could have done that set.”

“I agree.”

“Eh?”

“You could have done that set.”

“I don’t understand, then why stop me?”

“Just because you can do something, it doesn’t mean that you should.” Haru could see Sousuke was struggling with something, so he kept his council and took his tea. “You could have done that set and even felt good, but you would actually be doing yourself harm. You wouldn’t even know it. That’s why you have me. I am here to set your pace and keep an eye on everything, making sure you’re prepared and healthy.”

Sousuke was rubbing his shoulder and looking at his tea cup. Haru glanced again at the corner filled with books and information, information about him, and nodded.

“I trust you Yamazaki.”

“I’m happy to hear that. You’re an intuitive swimmer Nanase, you probably aren’t even aware how easy you’ve made some things for me. I acknowledge that, and you.”

Haru flashed back to that moment, back in Iwatobi and marveled at how things had changed. If anyone had told him then that he’d be sitting in Sousuke’s apartment, having spent so long being coached by him, and actually getting along with him, he would have told them they’d lost their minds. Yet here they were. He bowed towards Sousuke, hands on his knees “Thank you Yamazaki.”

“Who would have thought, ah?”

“I was just thinking that.”

Sousuke smirked at him “I am still going to call you Nanase.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way Yamazaki. We wouldn’t want to cause Earth to collapse.” Haru smirked back and shook his head “But when we talk to Rin next time, you will call me by my name.” That got him a full-fledged grin in return from the man before his face turned serious.

“I know you haven’t spoken to him yet.”

“Nanase.”

“What are you waiting for?”

Sousuke slumped in his chair, his hands flying into his hair and tugging. Haru sipped his tea and waited. He was sure he’d get an answer, even if it took a while. Rubbing his eyes Sousuke groaned. “I don’t know. I feel better. More settled. Time coaching you has shown me that I can still express my love for swimming in this way. I’ve found a new way to use this gift I was given. I think a part of me has always enjoyed this but I was too focused on my injury and on Rin and swimming one more time with him to look past all of that.” He smiled at Haru, who raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

“You know, now that I’m removed from Samezuka and everything that happened that year, I can see that I found as much joy in helping those guys with their swimming, as I did in that relay. I just couldn’t see it then.”

“Rin did.”

“Ha?”

Haru finished his cup then poured more for both of them. “Rin did. He actually talked to me about it. I never told you, way at the start because everything was so messed up, for both of us, but why did you think I suddenly requested your help? You never asked me that day and I didn’t mention it on purpose, considering.”

“Probably for the best. Heh. Of course he knew. He always knew me best.”

“Did you ever think that this is probably why he wasn’t all that worried before he left for Australia?”

This question was met with silence and Haru focused on his drink, waiting. He had wondered if this was another thing that had bothered Sousuke; that Rin had just left for Australia, without displaying much concern.

“I hadn’t thought of it in that way.”

“You know how Rin is Yamazaki. He cares about you, a lot.” The slight blush on Yamazaki’s face was trying to force a smile out of him but he fought it, deciding it was better not to push his luck and keep this on track. “I have told you, Makoto has told you, how worried he is. He was so excited to go back to Australia, that he probably just took it as a given that you’d move on to coaching.”

“Rin would.” Sousuke sighed. “He had probably considered it was a done deal, if the injury truly proved untreatable. It didn’t even occur to me.”

Haru nodded. “He believes in you.”

“I should call him.”

“The longer you wait Yamazaki, the harder it is going to get.” Haru cleared his throat “Plus, I’m pretty sure Makoto’s right and Rin’s going to be furious with all of us. The sooner you call, the better.”

“I am certain Tachibana’s right. But no,” Sousuke’s shoulders slumped, “I think he’ll be angry mostly with me. I’ll tell him I made you promise not to say anything.”

“Don’t worry about Makoto and me. Just talk to him. Rin will understand but you have to explain it to him. He can’t read your mind, not really. No matter how close you two are.” Haru looked at Sousuke, face serious. “This is something I can tell you from experience. Makoto and I, well, he’s the person I’m closest to. We could always understand each other even without words. But,” and Haru could still feel the pain from that moment even if their relationship had progressed since then in a wonderful way, “we’re adults now. Things are much more complicated. We need to communicate. Makoto taught me that. Talk to Rin, Yamazaki.”

“You know Nanase, in some ways, you and I are quite alike.”

“Perish the thought.” Haru smirked and got an answering one back. Things were going to be all right, he was sure of it. And he and Sousuke were actually becoming friends. The world might just explode after all.

~~

Throwing his keys on the table, Haru took off his jacket and walked to the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, he walked back to the living room and sat down to relax a bit. He could swear he could hear Sousuke's voice telling him to get plenty of liquids. Nightmares. Scrolling down his phone he saw no missed calls, no texts from Makoto. This made him frown. It wasn’t that it was the first time they’d not talked but not lately. Not since that day.

He pressed dial and waited.

“Yes?” Makoto’s voice was clipped.

“Ah, Makoto.”

“Haru. Yes?”

For the first time in a long while, Haru found himself unsure what to say. He had wanted to ask about that night out with Hamasaki but said instead “How are you Makoto?”

“Ah, well, thank you Haru. Studying so am a bit short for time.”

“You shouldn’t work too hard, you’ll overtire yourself.”

“I’m fine Haru. I know what I’m doing.”

“Eh, yes, of course.” Haru decided not to press but he was actually getting worried. It wasn’t like Makoto to be so short with Haru, even before the tacit admission of their feelings. “Well, anyway, I was wondering if you want to join us on Thursday. Hamasaki asked us out, with his sister and some of his friends too. It’d be fun and you can finally meet him too.” He waited but had a bad feeling he could guess the answer.

Makoto was quiet for a while and then exclaimed “Oh! Thursday! I am sorry Haru but I already accepted an invitation to the movies from Koizumi and Matsushita. I am afraid I’ll have to pass this time.”

Well at least he was going to go out and relax for a while, that was something. Even if Haru was disappointed it wouldn’t be with him. “Yes, of course, there’ll be other times. I’m glad you’ll take a break though. I’ll let you go now, I know you have a lot to do.” Pushing his fingers through his hair, he felt lost for words again. “Eh, talk to you soon I hope Makoto.”

“Yes, of course. Good night Haru.” He could hear by his voice that Makoto was getting lost in his work and he sighed quietly. “Night Makoto.”

He disconnected and rolled the water bottle against his cheek. They’d see each other on Sunday anyway and he could make sure for himself just how Makoto was doing.

~~

Makoto stared at his phone and bit his lip _._ It wasn’t as if he was lying to Haru, the others had mentioned that movie night on Thursday after all. Of course, he wasn’t sure he’d actually end up going but Haru would have worried that he was working too much. Truly though, he was fine. There was just a lot to do.

He put away his phone and went back to typing his paper.

It’s how he found himself on Thursday, when his phone rang again. “Now what?” he grumbled and groaned when he saw the name flashing there. Matsushita. The movies. He’d forgotten _._ He pushed his hair off his forehead and stared at the phone. If he picked up, he’d have to explain why he’s not there and he didn’t have the strength to get into it with Matsushita just then.

Makoto closed his eyes and relaxed in his chair. He’d had to rewrite that page twice already. He’d been back home for a couple of hours and yet, he hadn’t accomplished much. He looked at his schedule and flipped the pages. The important dates were all marked with red circles and he nodded satisfied. He had been right to start those so early. What if he had found himself in that position with just a few days left. He would never have gotten anything finished. Shuddering at the thought he got up to get an energy drink.

A wave of dizziness hit him and he managed to steady himself just in time by grabbing the back of his chair.

“Oh!”

Makoto slowly sat back down and waited for it to pass. He felt the room slowly come to a still and blinked rapidly _._ Well, that had been unpleasant. Maybe he should grab some food too. He didn’t have time to cook but a quick take-out would do just as well. Not to mention that a nap was probably a good idea at that point. Those three hours the night before probably weren’t enough. He shook his head trying to clear it. He tried standing up slowly again and this time the room didn't spin. Must have been he stood up too quickly, it happened. Finding a stack of fliers for take-out restaurants, he quickly made the order and then went to the fridge to grab his drink.

_I’ll eat then nap for a couple of hours. I’m sure that’ll take care of the problem._

~~

Haru was laughing, trying not to snort the sip of his drink he’d just taken when Hamasaki’s sister had cracked another joke. Hamasaki Nagisa, and really, he should have known, was a spirited little thing that kept trading barbs with her brother and boyfriend. He’d mostly been quiet, listening to the others who were acquainted from before but even he couldn’t resist laughing at her jokes.

“I’m sorry about her Nanase.” Hamasaki said, jerking his head towards his sister.

“No, no, no reason to be.”

“See little brother,” she slapped him across the back, “Nanase here understands the natural order of things. You suffer, I have fun.”

“Nagisa!”

They sounded so much like Rei and his Nagisa at that moment that Haru snorted. “Please excuse me, you just reminded me of my own friend Nagisa. You’re very much alike.”

“Oh, is she also a swimmer?”

“He actually and yes, he is but he’s still back in our home town, he’s a year younger.”

“There is a male version of Nagisa? Also called Nagisa?” Hamasaki faked being horrified. Or at least Haru thought he was faking. Might actually be real horror, considering. “Nanase, you have to promise me. They must never, ever meet. I don’t think the world would survive such a meeting.”

Haru smirked at him. “You mean you wouldn’t survive.”

“Told you little brother, Nanase is a smart boy.” Everyone laughed again.

Hamasaki just waved his hands around and Haru had to admit that those two together would probably cause a lot of trouble and grey hairs. “Oh by the way, your friend couldn’t make it?”

“Ah, I’m afraid he already had plans, so he’ll join us another day.”

“Yes, definitely. It’s a pity but there’ll be plenty of other opportunities. I’m glad you are here with us Nanase. We’ve been at the same club for months. Though true, your situation is a little bit different.” His sister had been listening to them and joined in. “I’ve heard about that, how unfortunate. But Akira says you’ve done more than well enough for yourself since. Who is your coach? I recall now actually, I’ve seen you two at the pool. I remember thinking he was quite strict but he was right, you need more focus on your kick.”

Haru blinked, he hadn’t expected that she’d had opportunity to observe them. “Ah yes, well. I told your brother the truth then, such as it was. I had no idea Yamazaki was in Tokyo at the time. We know each other from before. He swam and helped out at a private academy there, we have mutual friends too, so when I accidentally ran into him at the pool, I asked him to help out.”

“That’s truly lucky but I’m glad for you. I was wondering though, what are you going to do after the team meet? I am certain you’ll be able to place at the top but then what? What if Kobayashi-san requests you to return to train with him?” Hamasaki sounded worried but his sister shook her head. “He’s not a fool to do that. Kobayashi-san has always been too rigid in his ways, Nanase is not the first to have issues though I’ve never seen it this bad.”

“Oh, you trained at Ryuujin too?” Haru had no idea, Hamasaki had never told him.

“Honestly Akira.” She clipped her brother’s ear. “Ah to be fair, he did tell me how busy you were so that you didn’t have time for much talk apart from texting. He did have enough free time to gush about you though, how incredible you are.” She smirked but moved on. “Yes, I was at the team as well but I quit. I wasn’t progressing at the speed I thought I should be and more importantly I am also in medical school. That is very demanding so I quit swimming. I am going to return to it though, I’m going to specialize in sports medicine, even if I like the idea of working with kids too." She frowned at that but carried on quickly. "Anyway, I’m sure he’ll think of something. Akira is right, and as much as I hate to admit it, he has an excellent eye for this, you are something special Nanase. Don’t let anyone stop you from realizing that potential!” With that she turned back to her boyfriend leaving Haru to blink at the back of her head.

He imagined that a lot of her light manner probably came from the need to balance something as difficult as medical school and everything else. It was terribly taxing after all, and that she had attempted swimming at the same time impressed him. She had also known when to call it a day, not everyone was capable of recognizing that line when it was simply time to choose as there was nothing else left. She could have waited too long and lost both. Haru was still sure it had to have been difficult for her, he couldn’t even imagine it.

He would have to think about the coach issue though.

He sighed and then noticed his phone buzzing. He would have let it ring but then saw the name flashing on the screen. That was strange, why would Matsushita be calling him? They had exchanged numbers but it had been more out of politeness. Just then he remembered Makoto and the movies and fear gripped him. He hoped nothing bad had happened!

“Please excuse me for a second, I have to take this!”

Haru found a quiet corner, a little way off and picked up the phone.

“Ah, Matsushita, hello. Is something wrong?”

“Nanase! Hello. No, no. I was just wondering, is Tachibana with you?”

For a second Haru felt relief but then he got worried all over again. “I thought he was with you? He told me you agreed to go to the movies?”

There was a pause and the distinct sound of Matsushita taking a deep breath. “You must excuse me, I do not mean to be rude and meddle but he’s been off for the last few days.” Haru frowned, remembering their last conversation. “Makoto seemed tired the last we talked but that was two days ago.”

“He’s been really busy and trying to finish everything but there is no need to push himself so much! There is plenty of time and he’s one of the best students. He looked truly bad this morning, I was concerned that he might have gotten sick or something, when he didn’t show up but hoped he was with you.”

Haru chewed his lip, not sure what to do. It was late already and calling Makoto now would be a bad idea, if he had gone to bed, considering. He suspected the chances were probably higher he was awake and studying but he didn't want to risk it. “It’s late now, but I’ll see about this tomorrow. Thank you for caring enough to call Matsushita.”

“Eh, it’s nothing! I hope Tachibana is all right. My girlfriend Moto-san also got into her head to study like this and it took combining Koizumi and me to get her to see she needs to care for her health too! I know there’s a lot of pressure involved but this is not helping.” Haru though could hear the worry in Matsushita’s voice and felt like he could relate. He sighed and offered his thanks. “I am sure they will both be fine, after all they have us to help. Thank you again, for calling.”

“Think nothing of it and Nanase, if you could maybe leave out the part where I was worried, when you talk to Tachibana? Just say I called because he missed our meeting? I don’t want him to feel bad.”

“Of course. Talk to you soon!”

“Good night!”

Haru ended the call and brushed his fingers through his hair. Well, there was nothing to be done just then. He supposed he could go over to Makoto’s but he didn’t think it was a smart idea, even less so than simply contacting him. Tomorrow, he would call tomorrow first.

He returned to the others, and tried enjoying the rest of his night, but a big part of him could not help wondering about Makoto, and worrying.

~~

Haru figured that this was probably the first time since things had gone back to normal that he couldn’t wait to be done with his swimming practice but his concentration was completely shot. He kept going back to his locker to check his phone but there was nothing from Makoto so his anxiety had been steadily increasing during the day. He went through his post-swim routine as fast as he could and then grabbed his phone and hid in the bathroom. There was no one there so he was sure he could make a quick call undisturbed.

The phone kept ringing and Haru checked the time once again, to make sure he wasn’t mistaken and that Makoto’s classes were done by then. He was just about to hang up when Makoto finally answered.

“Haru.”

“Makoto! Hi! How are you?”

“I’m fine, just busy.”

Haru tried really hard not to sigh because that certainly wouldn’t have helped matters. He could hear from there that Makoto was tense. “I called to see how you were, I wouldn’t have interrupted otherwise, and I know you missed that movie night yesterday, so got worried.”

“Why are you checking up on me?”

“What? No!”

“I am fine, I don’t need a keeper Haru!”

“Makoto, wait! I didn’t…”

“Look, I said I’m fine, all right? I’ve got to go,” was the last he said before Haru heard the dial tone. Makoto had hung up on him.

Haru stared at his phone. It was obvious that Makoto was not fine. He rubbed his face with his hand, trying to push down the feeling of hurt that reminded him of their last fight _._ No, they were not the people they had been back then and they were not in the same situation. He was not going to let this fester. This is not how Makoto was. He would never hurt Haru on purpose. Considering what Matsushita had told him and what he had noticed himself, Makoto must have been on his last reserves, what with all the stress and more than likely exhaustion.

_Well, we’re going to see about that._

~~

Haru had a key.

When he had given the key to his place to Makoto, Makoto had shown up the very next day with a sheepish smile and a key to his own. Haru had never thought he’d be using it under these circumstances for the first time ever but he was really glad for it now. He wondered if Makoto would be mad at him for coming unannounced but decided it was worth it. He unlocked and let himself in. Trying to make as little noise as possible, he took off his shoes and walked into the living room.

Makoto was seated at his desk that was a total mess of papers and books all around him, so unlike its usual neat state. Makoto's head was resting on the book he had been reading, and his eyes were closed. He hadn’t moved when Haru entered, so Haru took a moment to look him over and decided that he was glad that he took this chance. Makoto looked awful. Bags under his eyes, perspiring, and obviously exhausted. Haru cleared his head and called out softly “Makoto?”

He saw Makoto whip his head around and move to stand but he suddenly swayed and tried to steady himself on the back of his chair, except he missed and started falling sideways. Later, Haru would not be able to say how he found himself next to Makoto so quickly, but he thanked his athlete’s speed that he had managed to catch him before he hit the floor. Even though Makoto was quite taller, Haru had built up some serious muscle with all the new training so he managed to help him stand up, throwing his arm around Makoto’s waist and encouraging him to lean on Haru. Makoto seemed half out of it but still got his arm across Haru’s shoulders and they slowly succeeded in reaching the sofa. Lowering him carefully down, Haru breathed a sigh of relief. He was certain his heart would stop when he saw Makoto tilt like that.

“Makoto? Can you hear me?”

“Yes, I’m sorry.” His breathing was laboured a bit, though not too badly and he was sweating heavily.

“Please don’t tell me you’re all right because you’re obviously not.”

“I guess not.”

Haru touched his forehead and he was quite clearly running a fever. All the stress and lack of proper care had obviously led to a breakdown. “I’ll be right back.” He was thankful that Makoto kept things for him in his own apartment because the fridge still had Gatorade. He mixed it with a lot of water and brought it back out. “Makoto, come on.” He saw the prone man open his eyes and blink. “Hey, did you drink any energy drinks lately?” Makoto slowly shook his head at that. “No, not since yesterday. I haven’t eaten that much, my stomach was queasy.”

“Here, have a few sips of this, you need to keep hydrated or we’ll have to see the doctor.”

“Ah, no. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not Makoto but we’ll talk about it later.” Haru gently braced Makoto’s head and helped him sip a bit of the liquid. “Enough for now.” He glanced at Makoto who was sort of trying to fold himself onto the sofa and knew this wouldn’t work but at the same time putting him into bed like this didn’t seem like a good idea, without at least a quick shower. He definitely needed one.

He left Makoto there for a while and wondered into the bedroom. Taking one look at the bed he shook his head. Stripping it down, he changed the sheets quickly and grabbed the rest, putting the laundry on. He rummaged through Makoto’s closet, finding a loose and comfy pair of sweats then deposited that in the bathroom before going back to the living room. Makoto had managed to get down the rest of the liquid by himself, so that cheered Haru up. “Come on Makoto, off to the shower with you.”

“Hmm?”

“Shower, you need one before we get you to bed. Up you go, just like before, only slowly.” Makoto’s arm landed around his shoulders and he got himself up. The dizziness was still there obviously, Haru could see him frown but probably not as bad. They walked to the bathroom and Makoto blinked at him. “I can do it myself.”

“Makoto, you’re not exactly steady on your feet. Let me help. Actually, I am going to help and you can be mad later.”

Haru let him lean on the wall and then quickly got rid of his clothes, with no help from Makoto who obviously could do no more than hold himself up. He steered him under the shower and got the water going, not caring that he was getting wet as well. “Now if you feel too dizzy at any moment, call me right away.” He returned to the bedroom and kept his ear out for any calls while he aired the room out. It was a good ten minutes before Makoto called him back and he helped him into the sweats, then walked him to his bed.

Makoto was obviously grateful to finally be able to stretch out properly and Haru tucked him in. He drew the curtains, so that he wouldn’t be disturbed and then kneeled by the bed. “Get some rest Makoto, it’s going to be fine.”

“Haru?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for.”

Haru saw that Makoto was quickly slipping into sleep but couldn’t resist gently moving the hair out of his face. _It’s going to be fine._ He bent and gently kissed the top of Makoto’s head, then turned the lights off and closed the door to let him sleep.

He texted Matsushita to let him know he was over at Makoto’s who was a bit under the weather and to tell him there was no need to worry, and then dialled Sousuke.

“Nanase.”

“Yamazaki, hey. I was just wondering if we could skip tomorrow’s training.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s Makoto. He’s not feeling well so I’m with him.”

“Nanase, you cannot get sick now!”

“Look. I’m not going to.” Not that Haru cared much at that point if he did catch something, Makoto was more important. “He is just too stressed and overworked so his body has shut down. It’s not a real cold, he’s going to be fine with some rest and proper food but I can’t do tomorrow.”

“Ah! Oh all right. I know you wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyway, what with Makoto not being well so it’d be pointless. I’ll see you on Monday.” He paused then quickly added “Keep him hydrated, make sure you wake him up to get some food in, start off light and call me if you need anything at all.” That was followed by a dial tone and Haru shook his head. Sousuke was a good guy, even if gruff.

Grabbing the keys and his bag, he quickly made a store visit then because Makoto definitely did not have what he needed to make soup and a few other dishes he had in mind. Sousuke was correct, Makoto needed lighter food first, so he decided he’d just start with it and see how it went from there. He needed to pick up some anti-fever medicine too, just in case. While he scanned the shelves he was glad that he had something to occupy his mind and keep it away from that image of a falling Makoto. He needed to concentrate on helping him instead of losing it, which he would if he let emotions take over.

He was already on his way back, when he remembered to call his team as well, to let them know he’d miss morning practice but with that he was sure he had it all covered.

~~

“Makoto.” Haru said a bit louder, “Come on, wake up.”

“Hmm.”

“Yes, there you go. Come on.”

“Tired.”

Haru laughed softly, his fingers combing through Makoto’s hair. “Yes, I imagine that you are. But come on sleepy head, we need to get some food into you, then you can go back to sleep.” Makoto blinked fuzzily at him and yawned. “Sit up a little bit, there we go,” he said, getting the pillows to support his neck. “Be right back!”

It didn’t take him long to fetch the tray he had left ready on the table. “Here we go.” He picked up the bowl and carefully handed it to Makoto who was more awake now. “It’s a bit hot, so have a care.” Then turned to get his own and sat on the bed next to Makoto.

A quiet thanks came from Makoto but Haru just smiled and started eating though made sure to discretely keep an eye on him. Makoto was managing just fine in spite of his worries, so Haru completely focused on his meal. He had been so harried earlier to get everything done that he had had no appetite himself. Seeing Makoto eating got it back with a vengeance though so tucked in as well.

“How long was I asleep?”

Haru swallowed before answering “Not long, four hours but still enough to get your colour back a bit.”

Makoto just nodded then slowly finished his soup. “This was good. Thank you Haru.” Haru took away his bowl, then intertwined their fingers. “It’s nothing, and you need to get back to sleep. I’ll go fetch more water with Gatorade for you, so that you can have some when you wake up during the night, it’s important and you just get back to resting.”

“Where are you sleeping?”

“The sofa, it’s all right, I’m smaller so it’ll be fine.”

“The bed’s big enough.”

“Eh?”

“Your back will hate you if you sleep on that and I was just stupid so I’m exhausted, but I’m not sick. Unless…” but Haru interrupted him. “If you don’t mind then?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I minded.”

“All right, be right back.”

Haru quickly changed into the clothes he borrowed from Makoto’s closet and then grabbed the liquid he had previously prepared. He returned to the bedroom only to see Makoto was already dozing and left the glass at his nightstand, turned off the lights then crawled into the bed next to him, getting under the covers. He shifted a few times trying to find a comfortable spot on his side when he felt Makoto turn towards him. He was about to look back and ask Makoto if he needed anything, when a heavy hand curled around his waist and pushed him lightly backwards. He wiggled and soon they were settled, with Makoto’s nose in his hair, his hand on Haru’s stomach.

“Mmm.”

“Good night Makoto.”

“Sweet dreams Haru.”

Haru quickly drifted off, lulled to sleep by gentle puffs of Makoto’s breathing, the comforting weight of his arm and safe in the knowledge that Makoto was right there next to him.

~~

Makoto slowly stretched his legs then curled further into the wonderful warmth he was snuggled against. He thought he could smell chlorine and rubbed his nose against the silky strands and smiled. More sleep was definitely in order if he could imagine Haru so vividly. His arm tightened reflexively and a sleepy “Makoto” reached him. _That’s Haru._ His eyes popped open and the vague memories from last night returned, of Haru getting in bed and ending up like this, spooning, before drifting off to the best sleep he’d had in days. Embarrassment flooded him and he buried his nose in Haru’s hair again. He would have stayed there but his bladder made itself known and he found himself regretfully trying to move.

“No.” Haru mumbled and grabbed his hand.

The simple word made him smile. “Shhh. I’ll be right back” he gently murmured next to Haru’s ear and his arm was released. He shuffled towards the bathroom, took care of everything then washed his hands. Looking at his own tired face, with bags under his eyes, he shook his head. He’d slept the night away and yet, he was still in need of rest. This had been so dumb of him, what was he thinking? But then, he hadn’t been, had he? He splashed some water into his face and combed his fingers through his hair then got his glass and refilled it before going back to the bedroom. The clock showed eleven but he didn’t care at that point.

He lifted the covers, getting in but paused for a second _._ Should he get back to how they were? He wanted to but Haru was asleep and he didn’t want to push. He hovered awkwardly, unsure of himself but before he could decide Haru looked back. “Makoto.” He blinked sleepily at him, then grabbed his arm again and pulled. Makoto scooted forward, embracing him again and smiled into Haru’s hair. _Well that settles that question._ Haru was already asleep and Makoto let the warmth and the feeling of total happiness take him away too.

~~

“Hmm.”

“Hey.” Haru’s gentle voice came from his side and he blinked. Haru was kneeling next to the bed, dressed and smiling at him. His hand was playing with Makoto’s hair again and Makoto sensed his heart speed up. The soft, dim light of the afternoon fell on Haru’s face, gentle shadows playing over his skin, making Makoto’s fingers twitch in their desire to trace them. He decided he didn’t need to hold himself back, not anymore, so he cupped Haru’s face with his hand, thumb rubbing against his jaw. “Hey.”

Haru just smiled at him and Makoto could do nothing else but smile back.

_I am ridiculously in love with you._

He felt his eyes suddenly tearing up so he blinked a few times to get rid of them and cleared his throat. “What time it is?”

“A bit after three. I’m sorry I woke you but you have to eat.” Haru kept his voice low and Makoto had the feeling they were in their own bubble, where time went slowly and the shadows were softer. He nodded at Haru but made no move to get up. He didn’t want to. He feared that if he did, that strange, melancholy mood would be broken and they’d be whisked away, back into the real world.

Haru lowered his head to Makoto’s chest and just rested it there, before rubbing his cheek against it a couple of times. Makoto wondered if he was reassuring himself everything was all right.

“I’m fine Haru, really.”

Haru just nodded and then took his hand and tugged. “Come on, food’s getting cold. Take the blanket with you, you’re on the sofa. Rest it is for you.” Makoto smiled sheepishly because he knew Haru was right and he did need it. He was still a little bit weak, even with all the sleep so he just slowly got up, scooped up the blanket and followed in Haru’s wake. He got tucked in first and then he rested his eyes, while listening to the sounds of Haru getting the dishes ready. It sounded comforting.

It sounded like home.

It was just then that Haru got back and handed him the tray laden with small portions of different dishes. “Haru, you shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble!”

“It’s nothing. Yamazaki said this should help get you back on your feet the fastest.” And then he was off to the kitchen to get his own meal, leaving Makoto to wonder just when Haru had gotten close enough to Sousuke to ask him about something like this. He was happy about it though. But there was time for that because his stomach was beginning to make noise. “It smells wonderful. Thank you.” Haru smiled again and tried squeezing himself onto the sofa, next to Makoto’s feet. He had to shift a couple of times but finally they enjoyed their meals in comfortable silence.

It took a while for Makoto to make a heavy dent into it and Haru had finished his own a good deal earlier but he just rested his head against the back of the couch and spent the time watching Makoto with half-hooded eyes. He slowly finished the food, feeling Haru’s heavy gaze on him and wondered if it was strange that he didn’t feel uncomfortable or restless. In the end he decided that it didn’t matter what he thought he maybe should feel but what he actually did and just relaxed _._ When it was the two of them, that was what counted.

“Done.”

“Full?”

“Definitely. Thank you Haru. That was great.”

“There’s no need to thank me Makoto, I told you.” Haru got up and took the tray from Makoto but Makoto stopped him, tugging on his shirt. “Yes, yes there is. Get used to it. I want, no, I need to say it.”

“All right, then you get used to me wanting to do all this. You’re stuck with me.” And he walked off to wash the dishes. Makoto grinned, then yawned. “I’m going to go take a bath, then back to bed it is for me.” He heard Haru’s humming coming from the kitchen and knew he heard him, then walked over to the bathroom.

It wasn’t until he was happily soaking in the bath, feeling half human again, that he remembered the shower the night before, Haru undressing him and he let himself slide completely under water. Well, that hadn’t gone quite like he may have wished. Goodness. He sat back up again and shook his head slowly. When he started feeling tired again, he made quick work of getting clean. It didn’t take long then for him to be done and finished getting dry and dressed. He padded softly into the bedroom where the bed was made and the covers turned over. Haru was rummaging in his closet again, probably looking for another t-shirt before he looked up at Makoto. He didn’t say anything but Makoto felt like he understood.

“Bathroom’s all yours, hurry back.”

Haru grinned at him and went to take his bath, while Makoto got himself to bed, to wait for Haru to return.

_We need to talk and I have to apologize. Even if he already knows, some things need to be said._

~~

Makoto was lightly dozing by the time Haru was back. He opened his eyes and watched him walk over to the bed and tilt his head, biting his lip. It was something he didn’t see Haru do all that often, usually when he was unsure or nervous so he waited, wondering if he’d say anything.

“Like the movie night?”

At first Makoto wasn’t sure what he was referring to but then he remembered, how they had sat that time and he nodded, turned the light off, lifting the covers for Haru to get in while sitting up in bed a bit. He had expected for Haru to rest against him as he had then but instead got caught by surprise when Haru settled between his legs with his face hidden in Makoto’s chest, arms around his sides. It was almost a full body embrace and Makoto could do nothing more than embrace him back and bury his own face in Haru’s hair, breathing in the smell of his own shampoo. He felt strangely overcome with emotion, holding Haru like that, who looked more vulnerable than ever, clinging to Makoto.

_Yet sometimes, we say things without using words. The other person just needs to know how to listen._

“I’m all right Haru. I’m all right.”

Haru huffed and whispered “I was just scared when I saw you almost fall like that. I know you’re all right now but I just …”

“Shh, I understand.” Makoto gently pressed a kiss against the side of his head and just held him. They stayed that way for a while, just being.

“What happened?” Haru asked after a while, resting his chin against Makoto’s chest, looking up at him.

Makoto was aware he had to be honest with both of them. “I was an idiot, that’s what happened.” He shook his head and closed his eyes. “I decided I needed to get everything finished now so started staying up almost all night, then missed the whole night’s sleep, and started skipping meals in order to get more time. Of course, if I was thinking clearly I would have seen that forcing myself was just resulting in more mistakes and everything took much longer, making me need more and more time but I was too tired by then. I did do a fair bit of work before I overdid it but I lucked out this time. I am going to have to manage much better in the future.”

“It’s an experience to learn from. I’ll help.” Haru snorted. “I’m probably going to need you to return the favour when my meets start.”

“That is not going to be a hardship.”

“Makoto?”

“Hmm?”

“Why?”

Makoto was silent. He of course understood what Haru meant. He just felt embarrassed voicing those thoughts. If he couldn’t talk to Haru though, then who? He deserved to know. He should know.

"When I told my parents I was accepted here, in Tokyo, they didn't really see the point in me going all the way here. There were other, closer, choices and I'd be going back to Iwatobi after anyway. I wanted this one though because it's one of the two best Universities in the country." Haru nodded to show him he was listening but Makoto could see the slight surprise on his face. Makoto hadn't told him his parents had reacted like that at the time because he hadn't wanted to worry him and it had all ended quickly anyway. "I convinced them but I am not sure they truly understood. They wanted me closer. I want to do the best I can, to show them it was worth it." Haru's hand cupped his cheek and he couldn't resist tilting his head a little and leaning into it. Haru deserved to know it all.

“ And, I want you to be proud of me too.” Makoto kept his eyes closed because he was sure that looking at Haru would have made this impossible. “You’re working so hard and you’re overcoming all that happened with your team coach. Sousuke’s getting his life together, after an injury took away his dream. He’s finding a new one and he’s so good at it. Rin’s off in Australia, doing so well for himself.

I am going to be teaching kids. It’s not as grand, I guess, but it is what I want and I want to be good, successful at this. I want to be proud of myself, Haru.”

He didn’t want to open his eyes, didn’t want to see what was in Haru’s. He could always tell the emotion in Haru’s eyes and he didn’t think he could stand seeing disappointment, or even worse, pity. He felt Haru move though and had to loosen the grip of his hands. Haru though just pulled himself up, resting on his elbows, framing Makoto’s face on the pillow.

“You are stupid.”

Makoto’s eyes flew open, he hadn’t expected that. “Grand? Your dream is just as valuable as ours. You are going to be working with children, it doesn’t get more precious than that. You are working as hard as you can at it, just like the rest of us. There is no difference there.” Haru shook his head at him, frowning. He was breathing hard, as if the speech was exhausting. “I am always proud of you because I’m proud of the man you are Makoto.”

“I’m sorry I said those things.” Makoto whispered, feeling on the verge of tears at Haru’s words.

“You were over-stressed, over-tired and that wasn’t you. I knew that. Why do you think I came over right away?” Haru’s hand touched his cheek gently, before he blinked rapidly. “I was so scared.”

Haru rested his forehead against Makoto’s.

“You are so stupid.”

Makoto could swear he could see a light sheen of tears in Haru’s eyes too and just smiled helplessly at him.

“Stupid, stupid.”

He wondered why those words sounded to him like love.

~~

Haru had been quiet for a while then before slowly moving back to rest on Makoto’s chest. He could feel Haru's hand clutching his shirt, hear Haru's soft breathing so he just embraced him again and relaxed. There was nothing more to be said, not that night. _We’re both exhausted. Rest is what we need._

He moved one of his hands to lay on Haru’s head, combing his fingers through Haru’s hair, feeling the need to sooth him, the need to hold him.

They slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of angst but things are developing! You've now met almost all OCs that matter for this part. Next chapter has happier times :)  
> KyoAni owns these tired lads, I just made them suffer a tad.


	7. Chapter 7

#  Chapter 7

 

Haru sighed tiredly and cradled his tea.

“Maybe you should have stayed at home Haru.” Makoto looked at him from the seat opposite his, his own tea cooling on the table.

Shaking his head at that, Haru smiled then looked through the window of the small café where they had sheltered. There was no way he was going to skip this, he wanted to spend this time with Makoto, even if it was among that. The crowds were massive and made him wrinkle his nose.

“So many people. We probably should have gone a few days earlier.” Makoto gave him such a look that Haru burst out laughing. “All right, all right. Maybe a month or so.”

It wasn’t as if they hadn’t tried though. It had just been impossible to synch their schedules, they had both been swamped. Additional time with Sousuke, who seemed to be hell-bent on torturing him, meant he was mostly busy in the afternoons too and by the time he was back, he was simply too tired to do anything but eat and sleep. Makoto had been no better, finishing up his work for the end of semester and passing those two exams with flying colours. They’d celebrated one night with a tiny cake but for the most part, that was as much they could have managed. Makoto had even spent quite a few of those days at Haru’s as they found it more practical to share meals and in order to squeeze out at least some time together. That just meant that once this opportunity presented itself, Haru wasn't going to miss it.

“You already have the gift for your parents.”

“Yes.” Haru didn’t think it was necessary to mention he’d found it possible to purchase that particular wine his mother had casually mentioned one day, at the online store that specialized in them. He just clicked a few times and that was that but Makoto knew that as he had been with him at the time. Like he had wished to be with Makoto just then. “I wanted to come along.”

“At least we’ve already found the ones for my parents and the twins. I hope they like them.”

“I am sure they will.”

Makoto had rang them up, to let them know of the results of his first exams. They had congratulated him but Haru had managed to get the rest out of him later. They had said all the right things but there had been no particular enthusiasm there, no further questions and the news of not coming home hadn’t really been met with much more than silence. Haru wanted this time to be joyful though, so he concentrated on what he was sure would make Makoto happy. “Ran is going to love that clock.”

Makoto laughed. “She is going to be puzzled as to why we got her one too!”

“She’s the one who says Ren is always late. Now she can keep him in line too.” Haru shrugged, he at least saw the logic of it. “Plus they get the throw blankets from their current favourite show, so I think they’ll be appeased.”

“That should help!” Makoto slowly stretched, making Haru blink. That shirt Makoto had on hid nothing and he couldn’t stop himself from watching those powerful shoulders move and muscles flex. At that moment he felt an odd kind of kinship to Gou; he realized he finally understood what it was that she found so fascinating about them, even if he did only care about Makoto’s.

As his luck would have it, Makoto who was usually oblivious to such things, caught him looking and recognized it for what it was.

They blinked at each other, both of them at a loss for words.

Haru knew he was blushing but forced himself not to look away. It wasn’t easy, all of this was new to him, and he was embarrassed but he liked looking at Makoto like this. There was nothing wrong with Makoto causing all these emotions inside of him. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with Makoto knowing that too.

“I don’t mind.”

Makoto was peeking at him through his hair, and he was equally flushed, but the soft words made Haru smile. He was glad then he’d chosen to show his feelings. They smiled at each other, and Makoto shrugged making Haru break into an even wider one. They were awkward, but it was all right.

“Now, the bookstore.”

“Eh?”

“I need to find something for Yamazaki.”

“Haru.”

He knew Makoto was going to get all mushy on him. “It’s just to thank him for everything. Nothing more.”

“Of course not.”

Haru could see Makoto was trying not to laugh at him and huffed, choosing to look out through the window. His tea was almost cold so he finished it quickly. Makoto was done with his too by then, and they got their bags and entered the fray again. Haru hung on to Makoto’s sleeve, and justified it with the desire not to be jostled about. Makoto was a good shield after all.

“So what did you have in mind?” Makoto asked when they finally reached their destination. It wasn’t as crowded as the rest and Haru was relieved. The little break they took had helped though, so he figured he could handle that much.

“I was thinking something about training maybe. Help?” He looked up but Makoto was already nodding, obviously happy to.

“I know some obscure titles we’ve heard of at University, I doubt he has those. Come, let’s see if they have any of them.”

Makoto lead the way then and after finding a helpful sales clerk who showed them to a secluded bookcase that made Makoto coo for a full five minutes and some intense rummaging, they finally managed to narrow down the titles to two books. Haru kept looking at them and though they seemed perfect and just what he thought he was looking for, something was bothering him.

“Haru?”

“Isn’t it awfully expected though?”

“Eh?”

“To give him something like this.” He motioned to them, frowning. “He’s interested in this so of course, we’d all give him something swimming related. Maybe he’d like something else?”

“Usually we could ask Rin but considering the situation…”

Makoto trailed off and Haru nodded, resigned. Neither one of them knew Sousuke well enough for anything more personal, they’d simply have to settle for this.

“Maybe next year.”

Haru realized he’d like that very much. In the end he just smiled at Makoto but he knew he’d been read anyway if Makoto’s answering smile was to go by. “So, which one?”

“This one!” Makoto handed him and they slowly made their way towards the registers. Haru glanced around as they passed, until a bright yellow title caught his eye. He blinked, then snickered.

“What?”

He just shook his head, softly chuckling and tugged Makoto along. He didn’t think they’d need ‘Dating for Dummies’ after all.

~~

“Ah, Haru! Where’s the partner in crime?”

Haru raised his eyebrow at Rin then adjusted the computer that was resting on his stomach. “Studying in the library. He said he’ll try and make it but if he doesn’t, for me to wish you well at the meet.”

Rin huffed at the other side and plopped down on his back.

“Why are you on the floor Rin?”

“I can stretch out while we chat.”

“Ah, all right.”

“Plus you’re the one to talk, I can see you’re in bed Haru.”

“It’s just easier on my back.”

“Excuses, excuses, you like being comfortable. Nothing wrong with that.”

Haru pushed his hair out of his face and tilted his head. “All right, now that we’re done with that nice bit of evading, spill.”

“Eh?”

“Spill Rin. Something is up with that meet. Is this about those guys you mentioned way back? Those scores you had to settle?”

Haru watched Rin rub his face with his hands and waited. Makoto and he had kept their word and they had spoken to Rin as often as they could but he was still alone for most of the time in Australia and problems could crop up easily without them noticing. Haru wanted to make sure to be there for Rin but then Rin didn’t seem worried, more preoccupied with whatever was happening the last couple of times they’d talked, so he didn’t feel the need to push right away.

“I don’t know.” Rin seemed to be struggling to find words to explain. “When I was here the last time, I told you it didn’t go so well. There were also a couple of guys here who didn’t like the foreign kid so when I wasn’t as good as they were, they picked on me some. Nothing big,” he waved his arm at Haru, as if to reassure him but all Haru could see was that Rin was avoiding looking at him, “the coaches would never stand for it and as you know, my host family is great, they’d have interfered in anything visible, so just little things that nobody else noticed. Little words thrown my way, pretending they didn’t see me or thought I couldn’t hear them. Simple words, even I could understand then.”

“Little things hurt just as much as big things if aimed right.”

Rin just nodded his head, staring at the ceiling and Haru wondered what he was remembering. He wished, and he had lost the count how many times he’d wished for it, that Rin had never left. It had been too soon, he had been too little, too unprepared to handle it all.

“Anyway,” Rin’s words brought his attention back to the screen, “when I got back, most of them were still here. I got a few smirks sent my way but nothing else. Until we got into the pool that is. I have worked hard Haru, I’m better than them. That little kid grew up.”

“You should have no troubles at that meet then.”

“I don’t expect any. You never know of course, you can have an off day, but no, not with them. I have a great opponent in butterfly 200m here, I can’t wait to race him, he’s from another club and I am nowhere near confident about him but I’ve passed these guys. I suppose that’s part of what has me thinking.” He turned to look at Haru, who just kept silent knowing that it was best to let Rin work his way through it. “I told you it was vengeance time, remember? A part of it was them. I do feel good I’m going to do this but not how I expected I would feel. I keep thinking about why I even started and everything that’s happened and I just, I keep asking myself why I even swim. Why do I want Olympics so much? For my father? To win against you? I don’t know Haru.” He plopped back down and Haru saw him sigh.

“The 200m guy, do you know him?

“What? No, I told you, he’s in another club. I just saw the videos and I have his times. He’s quite good Haru!”

“That should be fun, pitting yourself against a strong opponent like that.”

“Yes, I’m looking forward to it. I’m actually excited.”

“What if you lose?” Haru asked him and that got him a lifted head and an eyebrow. “I’ll win next time! I’ll practice more and get even better. Then we’ll see!” Rin had that familiar shark grin on his face.

“If we get to Rio,” and another incredulous look, “fine, when we get to Rio,” a satisfied head nod, and Haru had to try not to laugh because honestly, “it should be fun too, right? The Americans, the Russians, the Germans…”

Rin sat up properly finally, waving his hands around excitedly “And that’s just the culmination! We have the World’s first, and of course all the international meets, and we’re going to be swimming together too, I just know it. But Rio Haru, Rio will be it. All those wins and losses to go through to prepare us for Rio when we settle all scores. “ His fist hit the palm of his other hand and Haru could see Rin’s eyes shining.

“There you go.”

“Ha?”

“That is why you swim Rin. You already know that, you idiot. It’s just going back to Australia that’s brought back some of the old ghosts that has you muddled. You love swimming, racing against all those people, feeling the joy of giving your all, and more, and seeing how that comes up against the others. Yes,“ and Haru smirked at him, “good luck on beating me and all, but it is not just me. You love being up against all the others too. Your world is not just Iwatobi any longer. It expanded a long time ago.”

“I swim for myself.”

“You swim for yourself, and what it brings you. Of course it will mean more, what with your father and everything that’s happened, but you swim for yourself.”

“We’ll have fun Haru. We’ll always be both rivals and friends. No-one will ever equal that.”

Haru nodded, smiling. It wouldn’t be the same without Rin. He’d go on swimming even if he was on his own, he had his dream now but he wanted Rin with him. “We will. Be ready for April.”

“You’re on!”

Haru heard the rustling of the keys and knew Makoto had arrived. “Makoto’s home, he’ll be happy to be able to see you.”

“Home, ah?”

“Eh?”

“He’s home.”

“Yes?”

“So you’re living together.”

“What? No. What are you on about Rin?”

“I swear Nanase…”

“Rin!” Makoto bounded onto the bed like a giant puppy, making Haru grab onto the computer that almost got dislodged from its perch. “Makoto, careful.”

“Sorry Haru, move will you?” Haru sighed and scooted forward, while Makoto settled himself up against the headboard, behind him. Haru felt a pair of hands looping around him, and Makoto’s chin settling on his shoulder before blurting “Hi! I was afraid I’d miss you.”

“I swear you two…” Rin was shaking his head at them. “Just … never mind.”

“Eh?” came from Makoto, and Haru tried really hard not to laugh. He could imagine what picture they made, and he finally understood what Rin meant earlier, but neither he, nor Makoto were ready to talk about this with someone else. At least Haru knew Rin didn’t care, not that he thought he would. It was Rin. Still, it was nice to be sure. It did no good to assume, not when it came to this. He didn’t want to think about all the others right then and all the other choices that were ahead of them so he just gave Rin a long look.

“Never mind.” Rin drawled and waved his hands. “So. New Year’s coming, any plans or are you just staying there?”

“We’re going to an onsen.” Makoto said excitedly, eliciting a blank look from Rin so he continued, “Haru’s parents figured we needed a bit of a holiday. When they were here a few weeks ago they took us out to dinner and presented it to us. It’s so nice of them.”

Rin blinked at them several times and then plopped back on the floor and started laughing.

“Eh?” Haru saw Makoto give him a confused look but Haru shook his head and gave his hand a pat. “It’s Rin. Ignore him.”

_But really, put that way, it is pretty obvious._

~~

“Rin seemed in good spirits.”

“He’s fine, he’s looking forward to the meet. I think we’ll hear good news from him soon. Of course he’s coming back in a few months, for Nationals, so it’ll be great to see him in person again.” Haru watched Makoto make them tea. They’d finished dinner and were just going to take it easy the rest of the evening.

“Sousuke still hasn’t spoken to him?”

Haru huffed “No. Though I expect he will soon, before New Year anyway. I hope. The last time we talked about this, he seemed ready.”

Makoto smiled at him, his eyes gentle and Haru smiled back. It was just one of those things now, he couldn’t keep himself from smiling back at Makoto. He didn’t want to. “I’m glad you’re becoming friends Haru.”

Makoto could be so persistent sometimes but Haru could be too. “We are not friends.”

“Hmm.” Another smile sent his way and Haru huffed again.

The water boiled.

Haru closed his eyes and leaned against the doorway. He liked these moments the best, when everything was calm and they were just enjoying their time together and each other. “And done,” Makoto took the tray and motioned him to the living room. “Couch?”

“Yes, that’s perfect.” They had just settled down, when Makoto’s phone buzzed. Haru craned his neck and saw that it was Makoto’s mother but Makoto didn’t seem inclined to pick up. “Makoto?”

“We’re just having a bit of a disagreement, that’s all.”

Haru raised his eyebrows in question. He may not be close to his own parents but Makoto was. It all seemed to be awkward lately. “She keeps implying that I should have chosen to come home, instead, ever since I mentioned we’re going to take a little trip. I told her a long time ago that I probably wouldn’t make it back to Iwatobi before summer, and she understood. Now she seems upset.” Haru wanted to reach out but something held him back.

Taking his tea, Makoto sighed. “It probably didn’t help that when she asked when I was coming home, I answered we’d be back to Tokyo in a few days.”

“She misses you, I am sure they all do.”

“I wonder if she’s afraid that I’m not going to go back, once I’m done with University.”

“It’s a bit early for that.”

“It is but I think … ah, never mind. It’s not worth borrowing trouble, not now.” Makoto waved him off and sipped his tea. Haru wasn’t sure if he should ask, considering Makoto already seemed troubled but unlike graduation that was years away, some things were not.

“What will she say?”

He didn’t know if he would have to explain what he meant but as usual there was no need. Makoto turned his head and shrugged. “I don’t know.” This time Haru didn’t stop himself and he scooted forward and intertwined their fingers.

“I’m looking forward to our trip.”

“So am I Haru, so am I.”

~~

Makoto looked at Haru, who was sleeping with his head resting on Makoto’s shoulder and smiled. They were on the train to their holiday destination and they hadn’t been on for more than five minutes, when Haru had fallen asleep. Makoto wasn’t truly surprised, Haru had been in full training, dealing with Sousuke and Rin, and of course, then there was Makoto himself. It was going to do him good to just forget about it all and relax. It was going to do Makoto good. He glanced around, noting that the train was almost full and silently sighed to himself. Haru’s hair was sticking up adorably and he really wanted to thread his fingers through the wayward strands. He would have to wait until they were alone though, he’d waited this long.

_And isn’t that a scary thought, on its own._

Haru hadn’t asked and Makoto was grateful, but he was sure he had noticed Makoto being more jittery than usual, more nervous. He had a suspicion Haru was nervous as well, so probably wasn’t too keen on pushing the subject _._ He was aware that most of it was pure anticipation, excitement, over where those days might lead, more than anything else. But he couldn’t deny that would sometimes get him thinking about what else might come of it, too. They didn’t live in a bubble, no matter how much they might wish it sometimes.

He hadn’t told Haru but his mother had asked him that day, if he thought home is where Haru was. Her tone had not been pleased. Makoto wondered, because she had always been nice to Haru, his whole family was, if that would extend if they became a couple. When they became a couple. His best friend was one thing but what if Haru were more than that. He didn’t think he could lie to them. No, he was certain that he couldn’t lie to them. So what then?

He sighed and vowed to put those ideas away. There would be plenty of time for it all once they were back in Tokyo, if there was even anything to think about. They would need to decide things too. They’d sent all the gifts that needed sending before they’d left, to Rei and Nagisa, Gou and their parents, Makoto had even chosen a flower for his grandmother and had it delivered. They said their goodbyes to their friends, spent a fun night with Sousuke when they presented him with the gift and made him promise not to open it before the New Year. They talked to Rin again and toasted his win. But now, this time, that should be theirs and theirs alone.

_I want to be selfish, just a little bit. I want my time with him, without anyone interrupting or anything spoiling it. Just for a little while._

~~

“I can’t believe your parents booked us a room in this place.”

This was the third time he’d said that, he knew, but Makoto couldn’t quite believe it. He’d been so busy, that he forgot to look up the ryokan online. He supposed there was a good side to it too, the impact had been far greater when he’d first laid his eyes on their destination. He’d realized as soon as they finally reached it, that it was going to be lovely. From the sprawling, wooden building, artfully arranged stones and the little pond that surrounded the entrance, to the room itself. They had walked into a large, open space, a seating set in the centre, with lovingly arranged flowers peppering the room. The two large beds were off to one side, with a bamboo slide door that could be used for privacy. On the other were huge, glass double sliding doors leading onto the patio. The room had ornate, wooden carvings edging the walls towards the ceiling and Makoto spent some time turning his head this way and that, trying to spot the cranes and the lotus. Haru smiled at him and took their bags to the bedroom while Makoto opened the glass doors and gasped.

“Haru!”

Haru’s hands circled his waist and he covered them with his own. “Well they did say we’d have a private bath, if you remember.”

“Yes, but I still didn’t expect this.”

They had a private bit of space, edged by wooden panels and enclosed for the winter, to shield them from the neighbouring rooms. White gravel, with a rock in the middle, was just in front of the patio, which led down a tiny wooden path to the bath itself. Rectangular and big enough for them both, the water steaming.

He turned and beamed at Haru. “We truly need to thank your parents again.” Makoto hugged him, in his excitement. “I thought that seeing Fuji-san and Kawaguchi Lake would be more than enough, I’ve never been but Haru, this is so wonderful.” Haru laughed and nodded “Well you know my parents.”

“I do, so we’re going to take them out to dinner as a thank you for this, all right? It’s magical.”

“Yes, yes we should.” Haru was smiling at him, holding his eyes and Makoto felt his heart speed up. They were finally on their own. People knew not to call, except in a case of emergency. They had five days to explore the sights and enjoy it all. They had time to enjoy each other.

_And I want to, I want to so much._

“Let’s unpack.”

~~

While they were putting their clothes away, Haru saw that Makoto had brought a nicer than usual outfit for New Year’s Eve and thought about his own he had just put away and felt glad for the foresight. They both seemed to want to make this trip as wonderful as possible. “So? Dinner first?” came from Makoto.

“Yes but do we eat in the room?”

“Can we? I don’t actually feel like going anywhere right now.”

“Me neither. I think they have a menu over by the phone.” He walked to the little table and peeked. “Aha!” grabbing it he went back to the sofa, where Makoto quickly joined him and they spent a good ten minutes perusing it, squabbling about what to order. Haru watched Makoto poke around the room some more, while they waited for their meal, and decided that he really needed a nice gift for his parents for making this possible.

“Haru.”

“Yes, what did you find?”

“We have a player here, with a radio.”

Intrigued, Haru walked over and peered around Makoto’s shoulder. “Something slow?”

Makoto nodded and shuffled the CDs. “Radio is better I think, I am not even sure what some of these are.” He flipped the radio on and the room was suddenly awash with soft sounds of music. “Perfect.”

The food arrived just then and then settled down to eat. Haru was just putting his soup bowl away when a chopstick with a piece of fried squid appeared in front of him. He glanced at Makoto, who was smiling shyly at him and then accepted the food. “Scoot over?” He patted the space next to him and then returned his attention to his own food. He knew Makoto must be blushing so he didn’t want to embarrass him but he actually rather liked the idea of having dinner like that. And why wouldn’t they. It was supposed to be their time.

They fed each other bits and pieces of food and talked softly. Neither wanted to disturb the mellow mood the music seemed to have set, both content to just enjoy it.

“Haru?”

“Hmm?”

Makoto offered him another piece of mackerel and Haru hummed as he chewed. _I really love mackerel._ Noticing Makoto still hadn’t said anything, he raised an eyebrow in a silent question.

“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind taking a walk tomorrow, past lunch. I imagine we’ll sleep in a bit but we could take a walk near the lake then.”

“Why not? It’s not like we’ve planned anything ahead, apart from the New Year itself.”

He got a smile from Makoto then, and another piece of the fish.

“I brought the camera. I can’t wait to take some photos. We have to send some to the others too, so you’re going to have to be in at least a few as well.”

“Ah, Makoto.”

“And at least one with me.”

Haru fed him a bite and pretended to think. “Well, I don’t know.”

“Haru!”

He just blinked at Makoto, keeping his face passive, while inwardly giggling to himself. Makoto was really adorable when he got all flustered. He wondered how far down that blush went. Haru blinked and took a bit of his tea. It wasn’t that he didn’t have such thoughts, he did, even if only about Makoto, but this was the first time he felt an almost overwhelming desire to act on them.

_Time, we have time. And I want to make it special here. He’s worth it. We are._

“Well? I’m waiting,” he teased and Makoto narrowed his eyes at him. “I might be persuaded, but I need to hear the offer first.”

“I’ll let you pick which bed you want.”

“Don’t care, they both seem equally comfortable.” Not to mention he fully intended to get some cuddling that night.

“I’ll make you a new tea when we get home?”

“You’ll do that anyway.”

Makoto huffed and Haru could see him looking around the room. He put away his chopsticks, feeling full and leaned back watching Makoto. He knew the moment his eyes had lit up that he’d thought of something.

“Dance with me.”

“Makoto?”

He watched Makoto stand up and then offer him his hand.

“Dance with me Haru.”

He put his hand in Makoto’s and felt himself pulled to his feet.

“I’ve never danced with anyone before.”

_I want it to be with you though._

“We’ll learn together.”

The moved to the open part of the room and then stood for a few seconds, looking at each other awkwardly. A giggle escaped him and he quickly clapped his lips together. He shouldn’t be that nervous, it was only Makoto. The next he knew Makoto was stepping forward and his hands were settling on Haru’s hips. He lifted his hands and put them on Makoto’s shoulders, feeling his heart beating fast. He figured he wasn’t the only one nervous then but if they were in it together, it was all right.

He smiled at Makoto, because it really was all right and started swaying gently. It didn’t take long for them to get into a nice rhythm, slowly moving in a circle and Haru relaxed. He looked up at Makoto and whatever he wanted to say, disappeared from his mind as Makoto was looking at him with such a tender expression that he sensed his chest and throat tighten _. I don’t want him to ever look at anyone else like that. I want him to be mine._

He wondered what his own face showed.

Feeling too exposed suddenly, he lifted his arms higher and encircled Makoto’s neck, laying his head on Makoto’s shoulder and felt Makoto move closer too, wrapping his arms around Haru’s waist. They all but stopped moving, and just gently swayed in place when Haru felt a kiss to the side of his head and Makoto’s embrace tighten.

_What is this wonderful madness that makes me so helpless when I am with him?_

_What is this love?_

The music softly played on.

~~

Haru walked out of the bathroom, he’d changed for the night and found Makoto standing in front of the beds, dressed in pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt, his hand rubbing his neck awkwardly. A corner of his lips twitched upward. “Problem?”

“I know you said you didn’t mind which but I figured I’d wait anyway.” Makoto sent a sheepish smile his way and Haru walked up to him, then pretended to assess the beds. “No, it’s all right, you can pick.”

“Well it's true that they’re the same really,” Makoto nodded and then lifted the covers of the one on the right, about to get in. Haru took his chance and quickly slid in, leaving Makoto standing there, gaping at him and still holding the cover in his hand.

“Haru?”

“Well, are you getting in?” He scooted over to the middle of the bed to leave room for Makoto’s larger frame and waited. Makoto just blinked at him a few times before whispering. “Haru…”

Haru turned on his side, his back to Makoto.

“I liked it you know.”

“What?” Makoto’s soft voice reached him.

“That night, you were wrapped up all around me.”

The light went out. The bed dipped as Makoto joined him, then moved closer, until his hand looped around Haru’s waist and pulled him backwards.

“Like this?” Makoto whispered.

“Like that.”

He could feel Makoto’s body moulding itself around his, Makoto’s breaths near his neck and he sighed.

“It makes me feel close to you. Safe.”

“I’d never hurt you Haru, not on purpose.”

“I know.”

Makoto’s thumb made little soothing motions against his belly and Haru felt himself relax. He was drowsing, being lulled to sleep by the gentle rhythm, when it stopped. He made a protesting sound and heard Makoto chuckle, before he resumed his gentle movements.

“Haru, I like it too.”

Makoto kissed his hair and Haru let sleep take him then.

~~

Makoto knew Haru was trying not to laugh at him but honestly he didn’t care. He was filled with this sense of anticipation, ever since they had gotten up. They’d slept quite late, much like they thought they would, and they were both reluctant to leave the warm cocoon of the bed, choosing to just cuddle and talk softly. Their stomachs forced them up in the end. He had taken his shower and was restless, but kept attributing it to finally being able to go properly look at Fuji-san and with Haru, too. Lunch was up next, and then they bundled up for the winter afternoon.

“You should take your hat Haru, it’s cold.”

He saw Haru pull something blue out of his pocket and grinned. “Ah, not putting it on now?”

He got a shake of Haru’s head as a reply and decided to do the same with his. “Not a bad idea. We can take a few pictures like this first.”

He heard Haru groan “You remembered?”

“Of course! I am not going back without quite a few photos! The scenery is gorgeous. Plus you got your dance.”

“Makoto.”

“You’re doing it. I also want more than one of us, too. You might even get another dance later.”

He saw Haru give him a side glance and grinned at him. “I am sure there will be other tourists there, happy to help us plus I have pretty long arms, we can do it ourselves if we don’t find someone!” He waved his arms at Haru and stood on his toes in excitement. “Come on!” and tugged at Haru’s arm.

They got great directions from the ryokan staff on how to get to the paths designated for walks around the lake and it didn’t take them long to find their way. Haru was quiet but Makoto didn’t mind, because he was brimming over with excitement and pent up energy. They’d finally reached a good view and all Makoto could do was stand and stare, lost in the beauty that sprawled ahead of him.

When he was a small child Makoto had read about Fuji-san and had dreamed of visiting ever since. Somehow there had never been time or they had to go somewhere else or he was sick for that school trip. He’d learned about it in class but he was sure that nothing adequately described it, no photo could capture its magnificence. It stood there, a solitary figure against the grey winter sky, a monument to thousands of years of things being born and passing around it. A large, almost frozen lake stood between them and just increased the feeling of beauty and awe.

“We are lucky.” Haru murmured.

“Hmm?”

“We are lucky the clouds are mostly keeping away and we can see it.”

Makoto nodded and then brandished the camera, a huge grin on his face. Haru laughed softly and extended his hand. “Give it over, I want to take one of you here,” he said and then proceeded to snap more than one of a laughing Makoto, his eyes smiling at Haru. He gave it back and they slowly walked down the path, Makoto stopping often to take a photo of this or that, the smile never leaving him. He was really enjoying his time here but knew it was made all the better because of the quiet presence that was Haru by his side.

Looking around, he spotted an elderly couple, also enjoying their walk and tugged Haru’s hand. “Come on, we’re going to take that photo now.” He approached them and explained what it was that he wanted, and they were more than happy to help, the lady taking the camera and directing them to stand near the water.

Makoto went back to stand next to Haru and put his hand on his lower back. He realized the couple wouldn’t think anything of it, even if they saw it and he experienced a strange need to be connected with him. He smiled and could see Haru smiling out of the corner of his eyes. The woman snapped a photo then when Makoto turned towards Haru and grinned, he heard another click. He blushed suddenly then quickly walked over to get the camera. Thanking her, he said good bye and walked back.

“Shall we see how it turned out?” Makoto asked but didn’t wait for a reply knowing how Haru was. He showed him the first one, and it had turned out beautifully. They were framed with a background of the lake, with the mountain behind them and Makoto was suffused with happiness.

“I am developing this one and putting it on my desk!”

Haru turned to the next one.

Behind them, a ray of sun was peeking through the sparse clouds, falling onto the water, the mountain resplendent. But right at the centre was Haru, head tilted up, looking at Makoto, a small smile on his face and next to him, Makoto, looking at him, beaming almost, with such a look in his eyes that Makoto felt himself stop breathing.

_Is this what I’m like, when I’m looking at him?_

He glanced back at Haru’s image, and could now see that his eyes were a deeper blue, fixed on Makoto’s face, just as intense as his own.

“I’m taking this one.” Haru’s voice snapped him from his thoughts and he looked at him. “Eh?”

“I said I’m taking this one.” He could see Haru’s thumb almost caress the image and he hung his head, letting his hair fall into his face, to hide the smile that was threatening to burst out.

He noticed Haru glance around but they were alone. Winter time meant far less tourists than usual but it pleased him. It almost meant he got all of this for the two of them alone and he wanted to enjoy it fully. Makoto suddenly felt Haru’s hand sneak into his pocket, where his own was trying to get warm, and lace their fingers. He smiled and tugged at it to get them walking. Haru had his head turned towards the lake, watching the ice that peppered most of the surface and Makoto found himself watching him, instead of the mountain. There was something calm about Haru lately, it was like he was finding his place in the world, growing into the man the boy had promised.

Cold winter winds reached them, ruffling their hair, making Makoto smile. He could hear the ice cracking as the night started creeping in slowly.

“Look Makoto.”

A small wooden pier stood out on the lake with a tiny boat tied to it. They took a walk along it, until they reached the very top. With the mountain looming over them, he felt like they had stepped into a watercolour painting of some ancient time.

“Haru?”

Haru took the camera from Makoto, then walked back a bit. Makoto looked at him then leaned on one of the pillars. He could guess now what his face looked like but he didn’t mind. It was all right, with Haru _._ It was all right when he saw it reflected back. Haru took a photo then nodded, satisfied, and put the camera away, before walking back to Makoto and leaning into him. Makoto looped his arms around him, in a loose embrace and they enjoyed the dusk, and the silence.  

Makoto felt that sense of anticipation wash over him again, followed by a sense of calm and peace. He tightened his arms around Haru.

“Do you ever wonder what it’s seen?” Haru suddenly said in a low voice, “All those sunsets, and days gone by.”

Haru turned towards Makoto and brushed his fingers against Makoto’s cheek.

“How many times has it stood watch like this?”

He brushed Makoto’s lips with his fingertips.

Makoto caught his fingers with his own, cradled Haru’s cheek with his other hand.

“Never before, not for a Haruka and a Makoto.”

He whispered and then lowered his head and brought their mouths together. It was just a gentle brush of lips at first. Makoto felt Haru’s hand cup his cheek, mirroring his own but he would not move. Their lips were a sliver apart and he could feel Haru’s breaths on his face. Another gentle brush and it was almost too much.

_I didn’t realize._

They kissed, slowly, completely lost in each other, with the mountain as a silent witness.

_I didn’t know._

_I didn’t know how completely scoured my soul would feel._

~~

Makoto couldn’t make himself let go of Haru.

He held him in a firm embrace, Haru’s hands resting on his chest, occasionally clenching in his jacket. He kissed along his jaw, below his ear and felt Haru shiver. Pressing a kiss to his temple, he buried his face in Haru’s hair and inhaled.

“I hate that we’re in public.” He heard Haru laugh softly into his coat and only then realized he’d said that aloud. He could feel his face heating up but then shrugged. “Well, it’s true.”

Haru looked at him, his lips red and hair mussed, his eyes shining, and let out a little laugh.

He looked happy.

“It is inconvenient.” Haru stood on his toes, gave him a quick peck then stepped slowly out of their embrace. Makoto was suddenly cold so he stepped towards Haru again, only to be stopped by laughter coming from the path. A group of girls walked by, and Makoto was sure he was red in the face. “Well,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “that was close.”

“I don’t think they’d have minded.”

“Haru!”

He just got an unrepentant grin thrown his way and Haru grabbed his elbow and tugged.

“Let’s get back.”

“Ah yes, we should.”

Haru fished out his hat and then helped Makoto with his own, their eyes never leaving each other. It was cold now and they needed the warmth. They started walking slowly, Haru still hanging on to his arm while Makoto wished they could hold hands like any other couple. He wondered if he should say something. He could still feel Haru on his lips, could still taste him. Did that mean they were boyfriends now? They had never truly talked about it. Oh they’ve both known, for a while, where all of this had been leading. They chose to walk towards it, eyes open.

“You’re thinking too much Makoto.”

He felt Haru’s hand let go of his jacket to sneak into his pocket again, lacing their fingers.

It was different now, to that moment just an hour or so ago.

_How does everything change so much by that one choice? How does a simple touch like this feel so much more?_

“Haru?”

There was a small silence and Haru squeezed his hand.

“Yes, Makoto.”

Makoto squeezed it back and smiling, happy, nodded.

“Yes.”

~~

Haru slowly opened his eyes and a smile bloomed on his face. Makoto was wrapped around him and still asleep, but one of his hands had found its way under Haru’s t-shirt and was now splayed on his stomach. They’d drawn the screens for want of privacy before they’d gone to bed, happy but tired so he couldn’t quite tell what the time was. He slowly turned in Makoto’s embrace, Makoto’s large hand relocating to his back. He suppressed a shiver and then raised his head to try and glimpse the clock on the nightstand.

A mumbled protest came from Makoto and Haru peered down at him. Makoto’s eyes had opened, and he was slowly blinking. Haru couldn’t resist and he pressed their lips together in a gentle caress, eliciting a sleepy satisfied hum from Makoto. _I think I like hearing that._ Another part of him wondered at the easy intimacy. It’s only been since yesterday that they’ve took this turn of the road yet it’s been like they’ve walked this path from the start. _Easy, comfortable. Just another thing that makes us._

“I have to go for a run Makoto. Yamazaki is going to kill me if I don’t. He wasn’t pleased about this as it is.” Makoto just tightened his hold.

“Go to sleep and I’ll wake you when I get back.”

“Nicely?”

Haru laughed “Nicely.”

Makoto’s arms released him and he hopped over him, then grazed his fingertips against Makoto’s cheek before going to the bathroom. It didn’t take long for him to change and get outdoors. He walked briskly to one of the sight-seeing paths and then was off in long, loping strides, eating up the distance.

_A long, languid swim in a calm ocean, during a bright summer day._

Up a small hill and then the sight of the lake and the mountain burst into view.

_Yes, that’s how it feels._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! There we go. I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did writing it. Next chapter is about the holiday too, all of it, but fair warning - from this point on, there be porn. Hee.  
> Fuji all of Japan's, boyfriends both KyoAni's and I'm left with the desire to spend a week in a place like one of those onsens near Kawaguchi lake. Sigh.


	8. Chapter 8

#  Chapter 8

 

Makoto was warm and comfortable and having a wonderful dream.

Haru was peppering his face with slow, feather-light kisses and one of his hands was gently caressing Makoto’s cheek. He nestled further into the covers and smiled. “Makoto.” A voice whispered and no, he really didn’t want to wake up. He mumbled a weak protest and tried turning on his side only to be stopped by gentle hands.

“Makoto.” A voice that was definitely Haru’s, he realized and slowly opened his eyes. Haru was poised above him, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You said nicely.”

It took him a few seconds to remember, his mind still sleep fogged “I did, didn’t I?” He could feel his own mouth stretch into a smile and he pulled Haru closer, so he could kiss him again. A few presses of lips and then he suddenly realized it was morning so pulled back. Haru frowned at him and Makoto shook his head hastily, trying to explain. “Morning breath.”

“What?”

“Morning breath. I just … bathroom.”

“Makoto.” Haru chucked softly. Makoto could swear he could see Haru rolling his eyes in his head. He blushed and shrugged slightly then drew him near again. Haru though paused as he had apparently decided that their current position wasn’t optimal for kissing, so moved to lie on the bed, half covering Makoto. Deciding that he liked this as it gave him better access, Makoto was quick to throw one arm over Haru’s waist to hoist him fully onto his own body, the other cupping his face, before going back to kissing him. The little hums Haru was emitting were making him shiver and he moved his hand higher, threading his fingers through Haru’s hair, keeping him in place.

Makoto just had the thought that he could stay like this and do this forever when Haru’s tongue licked his lower lip. He blushed, remembering how they’d been slightly awkward the night before, tentative and learning but he also recalled how it had felt. He opened his mouth, granting him access and their tongues touched. Makoto couldn’t swear which one of them groaned but at that point he didn’t much care. Haru’s tongue was giving his little jabs and then proceeded to explore, licking along his teeth and the roof of his mouth. _Oh yeah, that’s definitely me making those noises_ he thought when Haru suddenly sucked on his tongue and then bit on his lower lip.

Heat exploded in Makoto and the next he knew, he had flipped Haru over, covered him with his body and kissed him sloppily, teeth and tongue, one of his hands still buried in Haru’s hair.

He was breathing heavily by the time the kiss ended. He was also sure that he could feel Haru being hard under him. Makoto felt himself flush, because that probably meant Haru could feel him too. They’d been careful the night before, giving each other space, but this, this was nothing like it. Haru’s hair was wild, his face flushed too, lips red and swollen. Makoto could only imagine what he looked like.

He didn’t want to stop but at the same time, he didn’t want to make Haru uncomfortable.

“All right?”

Haru didn’t answer but his hands wound around Makoto’s neck and brought him closer. Not needing more of an answer, for now, Makoto kissed him again, more slowly this time, acutely aware of their lower bodies. Haru though obviously found nothing wrong in their situation and sucked again on Makoto’s tongue, bringing it into his own, setting off bright bursts of light in Makoto’s head. This time though he didn’t break their kiss, so Makoto found himself exploring in return then, their tongues meeting in one final caress before finally parting for air.

“Haru.” Makoto didn’t recognize his own voice, low and gravely.

“Hmm?”

Makoto kissed him again instead of saying anything though, feeling Haru clinging to him then went on to lay open-mouth kisses along Haru’s jaw before licking that spot just below Haru’s ear.

He felt Haru buck under him, moaning and Makoto thought his brain short-circuited for a moment. He’d never heard anything so sensual in his entire life and his own body responded, pressing into Haru. “Makoto” came Haru’s breathy voice, and Makoto couldn’t help the answering thrust of his hips. They moved together slowly, kissing deeply before Makoto finally raised his head, kissed Haru briefly and backed off a bit to look at him fully. Haru’s pupils were completely blown and they were both breathing heavily.

“If we don’t stop,” he had to pause and clear his throat, feeling suddenly parched, “this is going to get really embarrassing really fast.”

Haru blinked at him, as if trying to focus then gently moved Makoto’s hair out of his face. “Not embarrassing. Flattering.” Haru’s arms tightened and he lowered his head, allowing himself to be gently kissed, almost soothed. “Feels good that it’s the same for us both.” Makoto blushed but he had to smile. He should have known Haru would be bold in this. He brought their lips together again and it was a slow, gentle exploration this time, the passion slowly ebbing away, making room for a warm feeling of happiness and satisfaction. “Yes, yes it does.” He settled for a chaste kiss, then flopped over onto his back.

Haru followed, leaning partially on Makoto’s chest then gave him a wicked smile.

“I need a shower.”

Makoto could hear himself squeak and he covered his eyes with his arm, while Haru just chuckled then got off the bed. Makoto heard him rummage in the closet and then close the door to the bathroom and it wasn’t until then that he took his hand away and looked around the room. Seeing that he was definitely alone now he rubbed his face with his hands and let out a low sigh.

_Yes, a very cold shower._

~~

They were lounging in the chairs on their little patio, having just had lunch, both full and lazy. It didn’t take long though before Makoto started feeling strangely bereft even though Haru was just there. He wasn’t sure what was making him feel that way. He glanced at Haru and saw his eyes were closed; he seemed relaxed and almost dozing. Yet Makoto couldn’t shake the need to reach out and touch.

He frowned then realized that there was no need to stop himself. There was no reason other than perhaps a little embarrassment because they were together now. _It is all right to feel all this. I guess it is just going to take a little while for me to get used to it all._ Makoto got up and crouched next to Haru, who opened his eyes at his approach, eyebrows raised.

Makoto thought his throat was going to close up but in the end he managed to speak. “Do you mind if we share?” Haru just shook his head and then scooted forward, leaving room for Makoto to move in. He felt a smile fighting to break out because this was just like before, familiar. It was like that feeling of familiarity, of connection eased the strange tightness in his chest. Haru turned a bit and laid his head on Makoto’s chest, embracing his sides and Makoto closed his arms around him in a loose hug.

He breathed in the smell of Haru’s hair and sighed. It was just the two of them there, nobody could see them and he felt better.

“Makoto?”

“It’s fine.”

They were silent for a while but just when Makoto thought Haru wouldn’t press, he surprised him “Was it too much?”

“Eh?”

“Before.”

“Oh! No!” Makoto found it hard to speak but he didn’t want Haru to think he regretted anything. “No, definitely not.” He realized he was going red but soldiered on “It was … amazing.” He could feel Haru was smiling into his chest and threaded his fingers through Haru’s hair. A brief thought of that becoming a habit he liked passed through his mind but he pressed on.

“I just … I wanted … “ he wasn’t quite sure how to explain, he wasn’t entirely sure he even understood what drove him. Haru was quiet though, patiently waiting and Makoto tried again. “I wanted this. I needed to touch you but I felt strange asking.”

Haru raised himself on his elbows, looking at him “It took me eight minutes to kiss you when I came back from my run.” Makoto just blinked at him, surprised by the admission and Haru continued, holding his gaze “I wanted to and I knew it was all right but it took me eight minutes. I looked at the clock.”

Makoto giggled and then finally truly smiled. “It’s going to be awkward sometimes.” Haru nodded and smiled back. “It’s hard for me, saying things.” He looked sideways as if it was difficult for him to hold Makoto’s eyes but then glanced back. “But you’re always going to be welcome, your words, your touch, you.”

He moved as if to return to his previous position but Makoto kept his hold on Haru’s head and leaned forward to kiss him. It was just a gentle caress but at that moment it was like the only thing he could do, the only thing he could think of and it was an answer, a sealing of promise for them both, that it is and would always be the same.

Haru tucked his head into the crook of his neck and Makoto could feel he was completely relaxed. He rubbed little soothing circles on his back, his other hand playing with Haru’s hair.

“What are we doing tonight? I never got to ask you.”

Haru shrugged lightly. “We can join the others, the Ryokan is having a small party for the guests, or we could stay here.” Makoto suddenly found his arms tightening around Haru and then quickly loosened his hold. He sensed Haru press a kiss to his neck and whisper “So we’re staying in.”

“Ah,” he cleared his throat “I’d like to, yes.”

“You know I don’t mind.”

“Yes, I do,” but Makoto was certain that embarrassed or not, he really should say it “but I just … I don’t want to share you, not just yet.” His face had to be on fire by then but he felt better. _Haru should know._

Haru simply pressed another kiss to his throat.

“I never want to share you Makoto.”

~~

Makoto looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He had never been this nervous before over being dressed nicely but this was the first time that he’d spend an important holiday with Haru like this and they had just gotten together, and well, he simply wanted to look nice. Haru had had his shower and then given over the bathroom to him, to get ready. Makoto looked at his hair and sighed again. He tried getting it styled a little bit but he wasn’t the best at this. Some gel would have to do.

He’d worn grey slacks, a belt and tucked in pale pink shirt. He had a matching grey jacket with him but he wasn’t sure if he should put it on or not. Deciding that he might as well, he decided he was finally ready, so sprayed some cologne on and walked into the living room.

The lights were dimmed, just one lamp lit in one of the corners. The dinner had been set already, with a bottle of wine chilling. He raised his eyebrow, not expecting that and smiled. Well it was New Year’s Eve. He couldn’t see Haru right away but then his eyes slowly adjusted and he spotted him standing next to the glass doors, looking out. Makoto’s breath caught.

Haru was dressed in a perfectly tailored black suit and when he turned to look at Makoto, he saw it was accompanied by a crisp white shirt, with a few buttons open, a black belt and all topped off with black oxfords _._ He could be a model, he was just so beautiful. Makoto found himself walking to join him, before he could even consciously think of it. _And he’s all mine._ He reached out to cup Haru’s face and brought their mouths together in a sensual kiss.

“I’m so glad we agreed to stay in.”

Haru smiled at him and rubbed his hands down Makoto’s front “With you looking like this, yes.” He stole another kiss and then tugged Makoto’s arm. “Dinner?”

“Yes. Let me put the music on.” He walked over and found a station with a bit more lively music and then joined Haru. They chose again to sit next to each other, smiling and chatting.

“Wine?” Haru lifted the bottle and Makoto nodded.

“Just a glass though, no more. I don’t want to overdo it.”

“Yes but when they suggested it, as it goes wonderfully with the fish, I couldn’t say no. Plus it’ll do nicely for the toast later on.”

“Oh that will be nice!” Makoto said, then tried one of his dishes. The second the food hit his tongue he couldn’t help but moan, it was so delicious. “Oh Haru!” He saw Haru shift and clear his throat and raised his eyebrow “Want to try?”

“Ah, yes, yes of course.” He leaned forward and Makoto popped a piece into his mouth, and then watched, fascinated as Haru’s eyes slowly fluttered closed and he hummed low, obviously fascinated by the taste. Makoto suddenly felt the need to adjust himself and then blushed, understanding Haru’s movements earlier. It was strange, it was like he was reacting to every little sound, every little movement from Haru now, as if floodgates had been opened. Thinking about it though would not help him just then so he picked up his wine glass and waited for Haru to join him, toasting.

“To new experiences!”

They clinked glasses and took a sip and it truly was a wonderful compliment to the meal.

Makoto looked around, their dinner, the man by his side and smiled. “I feel so grown up.” Haru raised his eyebrow at him and he waved his free hand around. “Being here, like this. Us. But also this past few months, everything that’s happened, we’re all moving forward in our lives and changing and I can’t help but feel that we’ve truly entered the adult world.”

“It’s been a good year.”

“Even with everything.”

Haru nodded then returned to his meal. Makoto followed suit, thinking he probably didn’t want to talk about some of that but finally putting down his rice bowl, Haru turned and looked at him.

“Even with everything.” He glanced away but continued “Even our fight. I don’t want to repeat that feeling but even that. We learned. And even my problems with the coach taught me things. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to compromise on some things when it comes to my swimming but with the right person, some is possible and results are coming.”

“I’m glad you and Sousuke are friends now.”

“We are not friends Makoto.”

“Whatever you say.” He smirked at Haru and had a terrible desire to add dear to the end of that sentence. He blinked a few times and then couldn’t help but laugh softly. At Haru’s questioning look, he just shook his head. It would be impossibly difficult to explain that one. “But yes. Haru?”

Haru had just taken a bite so raised his eyebrow in silent question. Makoto hesitated but then asked anyway “Would you mind if we called Rin, after midnight? He’s not too far ahead of us and well, he’s all alone there. He doesn’t talk all that much about friends and I know we didn’t want interruptions but I don’t think this is going to…” His rambling was interrupted by Haru grabbing his face and drawing him into a kiss.

“Thank you.” Haru was smiling at him and Makoto was confused, but pleased. “Ah?” Haru just shrugged and kissed him again. “You don’t even know when you are doing it. Yes, let’s call Rin. I’d like that.”

“Ah. Great. And well…”

“Yes.”

“Eh?”

“Yes, we can call him too.”

Makoto blushed and got busy with his food and Haru had resumed his meal too. Sometimes Makoto truly wondered if Haru could read his mind. They glanced at each other every once in a while and smiled but kept silent. Makoto was finished first, so he got up and wondered over to the little cart that contained their dessert. He peeked and grinned. “Haru!”

Obviously curious by Makoto’s happy cry, Haru got up and joined him. Makoto felt Haru wind his hands around his waist “Hmm?”

He smiled goofily because Haru’s closeness and behaviour was making him giddy, then pointed “Chocolate cake. I love chocolate cake.”

“I know.”

“I stand corrected.”

Haru looked at him quizzically and Makoto turned slowly, careful not to break the embrace. “Romantic after all.” He saw Haru looked confused and laughed softly, “I am definitely looking for food.” He saw the moment Haru remembered the park and the swan, recognition in his eyes. “You’re not saying hello though?” Makoto laughed and kissed him lightly. “Hello.”

“Hello.”

One thing Makoto especially loved was seeing Haru smile. Those small smiles he would give made him smile too but sometimes, sometimes he’d smile that big smile, full of happiness and Makoto would feel like he’d given him the world. He was looking at one of those now and he knew deep down that for one of those, he would do anything, anything at all.

~~

“Almost midnight.” Haru said, licking the last of the chocolate from his spoon.

There was no answer from Makoto, so he turned to him and Makoto jerked, blushing. “Ah, yes.” He polished off his own cake and obviously avoided Haru’s eyes. Haru smiled and got up to take their plates. “Let me take this away, mind pouring some wine for the toast?”

“Oh, of course.”

He’d gone to the little cart, where they’d packed all the dishes and could hear Makoto filling the glasses. It was turning out to be a wonderful night, and he decided that he’d make sure they have enough of these private moments, just for themselves, no matter how hectic their lives may get in the near future. He was aware that with the club meet, the season would truly be starting but it was up to them to make it work.

He walked slowly back, watching Makoto move around. He’d taken off his jacket, they both had, and Haru could see those muscles move under the shirt. He wanted to run his hand down those shoulders and map them out. He wanted.

That day when they went shopping for gifts flashed in his mind and unlike then, he could touch now. Deciding that there was no reason at all not to, he changed directions and walked over to the radio, switching the station until he found some soft, slow music. He then turned to Makoto and cleared his throat to get his attention.

“I believe I was promised a second dance the other day.”

“I said maybe,” Makoto was lightly laughing, “but I would not mind one either.”

Haru’s hands went straight around Makoto’s neck this time and Makoto embraced him in return. He stuck his head in the crook of Makoto’s neck and sighed. They swayed slowly to the music and Haru could hear Makoto hum ever so softly. _It really is a great night._

The song came to an end and then, instead of another slow one, the station suddenly played an old rock dance tune. They stopped, surprised but before Haru could get a word in, Makoto grabbed one of his hands and twirled him around. “Makoto!” It was no use because he was already being pulled back and he laughed out loud, loving the silliness of it all.

“I love hearing you laugh.” Makoto whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his spine but before Haru could respond, Makoto caught his other hand and began twirling them around the room together. It was silly and fun and Haru wouldn’t have changed that moment for the world.

He was just being dipped, like the best ballroom dancer, when the clock struck midnight. They paused then Makoto pulled him back up, his arms going around Haru’s waist, Haru bracing on his chest.

“Midnight.”

Haru smiled and then went up on his tiptoes. “Midnight. Happy New Year Makoto.”

“Happy New Year Haru.”

They just stood there, looking at each other, happiness evident, and Haru wasn’t sure which one of them moved first but they ended up kissing, long and slow, welcoming the New Year.

~~

Haru sighed and moved away from their embrace, tugging on Makoto’s arm. He received an unhappy whine from Makoto but knew that it was just for show.

“Come on,” and lead them to the sofa, where Makoto tugged him next to him. “Oof.” He turned to look at him but got an unrepentant grin and shook his head. “Ok, Rin first, due to the time difference? I’ll put us on speakerphone.” Haru dialled and they could hear the phone ringing. It took a while and Haru was wondering which party Rin was stuck in, when they heard the familiar voice. “Haru?”

“Happy New Year Rin!” they said in unison and laughed.

“Guys! Happy New Year to you too. Just, you didn’t have to call! I know you’re on that little holiday!” Rin was obviously happy to hear them, Haru could hear it in his voice.

“We would not miss it Rin,” Makoto was smiling, “sorry we waited this long but we wanted it to be New Year for all of us.”

“Not like I was sleeping! I was out watching the fireworks with a couple of friends from swimming, am just walking back home. This, this is a really great surprise.”

“Are you going to cry?” Haru asked.

“Haru!” was yelled at him from the other two.

“We have to keep up tradition.”

“Ignore him Rin. But we do wish you all the best in the New Year. Of course, this means making the Japanese National Team!”

Rin laughed, the sound clear and joyful. “Thank you Makoto, all the best to you too. I am not sure about Haru though.”

“You wouldn’t want to swim without me there and you know it.”

“I’m not so sure about that any longer.”

Makoto laughed at them “You two are never going to change. But hey, you know what this means? In just a few months you’re going to be back in Japan Rin and we get to see you! And you’re staying then!” Haru kissed his temple. Makoto always knew the right thing to say. He couldn’t wait to see Rin either and guessed it must have been a little bit lonely there, on a holiday like that, with his family and closest friends far away.

Rin sounded excited on the other end of the line “Yes, I know! I can’t wait. Both for the competition but also to be home. It’s going well here, it honestly is but I am also almost ready to come home.”

“We’ll be here waiting Rin.” Haru added, “We’ll get in touch as soon as we get home, should be in couple of days so we’ll let you go now. Good night, talk to you soon.”

“Good night Rin,” Makoto added.

“Good night guys.”

Haru ended the call and sighed. “He’s lonely.”

“I think that the Sousuke situation isn’t helping. He hasn’t called?”

“No. But we are calling him now. We should, you’re right.” Haru dialled and it didn’t take long to get an answer.

“Nanase? Are you back?”

Makoto laughed “No, we’re not Sousuke. We just thought we’d call and wish you a Happy New Year.” Haru felt Makoto poke his side and sighed “Happy New Year Yamazaki.”

“Ah, thank you. Happy New Year you two. This, this is a surprise.”

“I’m sorry if we pulled you away from friends,” Makoto added and gestured to his ear. Haru wasn’t quite sure what he meant then realized they couldn’t hear anything from the other side. “Ah, nothing to worry about, I’m actually home. But thank you for your call. Oh! Thank you very much for the gift, I love it!” It was obvious to Haru the other man was thrown by their call and decided that a little intervention was needed.

“We just talked to Rin too.” He could see Makoto’s head whip around to face him and his arms waving around but he knew this was the correct way. “He was all right but sounded a bit lonely, even if he was with a few friends. It’s difficult for the holidays.”

“Ah, I guess so.”

“Text him Yamazaki.”

“Eh? Nanase…”

Haru didn’t want to hear it though so he interrupted “No, just listen. I know you haven’t talked yet but he’ll love hearing from you for this night. Just say you are fine and are wishing him a happy New Year. You’ll both feel better for it.”

There was silence from the other side and Haru realized Makoto was getting anxious when a low voice from the other side of the line spoke “You’re right.”

“Sousuke, it is going to be just fine.” Makoto said. Haru smiled at him and marveled at that this gentle side of Makoto, that was something he would always appreciate and love.

“Thank you Tachibana, Nanase.”

“Now go text the man. Good night Yamazaki, Happy New Year.”

“Good night Sousuke!”

“’Night you two. Have a great stay.”

Disconnecting, Haru sighed. “He is so stubborn.”

“Reminds me of someone.”

Haru threw a glance at Makoto then poked him with his finger.

“Hey!” But Makoto was giggling and trying to move away. “Haru!”

“Reminds you of someone.” He grinned then poked him again.

“I give, I give. I’m sorry.” Makoto grabbed his finger and pulled him forward. Haru tottered, trying not to topple over and ended up straddling him, his hands landing on Makoto’s shoulders. He paused, surprised at the new position and saw Makoto blinking rapidly.

Haru could already see an apology in Makoto’s eyes and decided that really, there was nothing to apologize for. He dipped his head and kissed him. Makoto was still for a second but then his arms came to rest on Haru’s back and he started responding. Licking his lower lip, Haru asked for entrance and was granted. He moved his hands to rest in Makoto’s hair and dimly thought how he liked being taller for a change.

One of Makoto’s hands ended up in his hair and he gasped. He truly loved it when Makoto did that. Haru sucked on Makoto’s upper lip and then moved to his neck. He remembered well how it had been when Makoto had kissed him there. He nosed his way up his jaw and then licked quickly below his ear. He could feel Makoto shiver under him and smiled when he craned his neck for better access. He licked again then gently blew at the spot. He got another one of those shivers and decided he’d like more. Alternating open mouthed kisses and little puffs of air, Haru slowly moved down Makoto’s neck and felt him start slowly trembling. He’d reached the base of his neck and nosed the spot, then licked it a few times before again blowing air over the now wet skin. Makoto’s hand in his hair clenched and he bit down.

“Haru!”

Makoto bucked under him and Haru could feel that he was hard. He scooted further forward and then kissed him passionately. The answering press of lips was rough and sloppy but Haru honestly didn’t care. Makoto grabbed his arse and pressed them even closer and Haru moaned right into the kiss, the most wanton sound he’d ever heard he was sure and it had come from him. He couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed though because little sparks of light were setting off in his head from the dual touch of Makoto’s hand and their erections pressing together.

Makoto broke their kiss and Haru bit out “Don’t apologize or I’m going to have to bite you.”

He could see Makoto blinking at him “Ah. No. I …”

Threading his fingers through Makoto's hair, he bent over and kissed him quickly in encouragement before settling to wait it out but it didn't take long for Makoto to state his desires.

“I was wondering if you’d mind if we moved to the bedroom.” Makoto was beet red but Haru just smiled and nodded. “I’d love that.”

~~

Makoto was sure his brain was not functioning properly but when Haru had bit down on his neck, after that sweet torture he’d inflicted on him, and come to think of it, where had he learnt that, heat had exploded all over his body. For one moment, he had not been in control of his movements as that was the only way he could explain how he got bold enough to press them together like this.

He was happy Haru was agreeable over taking it to the bedroom but right after that, he’d gone back to spreading little bites along Makoto’s neck and he really didn’t want him to stop. Haru started moving as if to get off his lap and his hand clenched. Of course he remembered just where his hand was in the first place and he groaned. “Makoto?”

“I don’t want you to move.”

Haru shrugged and murmured “Then think of something,” before going back to that spot below Makoto’s ear. He’d obviously remembered how he liked it because the next thing Makoto knew, he was sucking on it and Makoto suddenly stood up, his hand moving below Haru’s arse. Haru let out a small squeak and wrapped his legs around Makoto’s waist.

“Yes, this will do,” was all Makoto could say before stalking straight for the bedroom. He didn’t feel capable of saying more because having Haru wrapped around him in this way was making his legs weak. He had a brief moment to be scandalized at himself when the nearby wall looked inviting but he walked on. Luckily they’d left the screen moved aside so he didn’t have to think about that impossible feat.

Makoto managed to kneel on the bed and then finally let Haru go. He didn’t wait though and pulled him into another open mouth kiss, their tongues tangling before he moved back, catching Haru’s bottom lip with his teeth and allowing it to gently slide out as he moved. The sound that came from Haru made him realize he wanted to cause that reaction again but Haru chose to just then finally unhook his legs from the small of Makoto’s back, letting them fall onto the bed. Makoto barely contained his own groan then at the image Haru presented, hair in disarray, pupils wide and lips plump and red from their kissing, his legs spread.

He cleared his throat because he really needed to ask. “Haru.” He let his hand rub Haru’s calf and tried again. “Can I … “ but the words kept getting stuck in his throat. Haru leaned forward, caressed his cheek and whispered “Show me.”

Makoto saw his hands were trembling but he slowly placed them on Haru’s chest, then moved them towards the buttons, all the while careful to look at Haru’s face. But Haru only smiled and nodded. Relief flooded him, and he tried to open them. It wasn’t smooth or suave and it took a few tries because he fumbled with them a few times but finally he had the shirt opened and he slowly pushed it off Haru’s shoulders.

He’d seen Haru like this a million times before. The hard planes of his body were all familiar to him, and yet, he felt like this was the first time. He dropped his shirt on the floor, and then gently pushed Haru back on the bed, settling between his legs. Makoto thought a bit of revenge was needed for that little couch stunt so he suddenly kissed his ear, then sucked on his earlobe. Haru moaned and Makoto gave him the lightest of nips, before he sucked again. One of his hands went into Haru’s hair but the other moved down Haru’s chest and grazed his nipple. He could hear Haru inhale sharply, his body still, so Makoto slowly kissed his way down until he reached it.

Makoto never thought about nipples being sensitive for a man. He’d heard stories at school, boys talking in the locker room, whispering to each other about girls, but he never paid all that much attention. Deciding to give it a try he gently laved it with his tongue. Haru’s hand grabbed his hair and he paused. “Don’t stop,” came from above and that’s all he needed to hear. He sucked gently, afraid of hurting him then blew on the now hard pebble. He could feel Haru’s hips subtly shifting under him and smiled. Sucking again, he moved his other hand down, and gave the neglected one a squeeze. Haru gasped and Makoto gently bit down. Haru’s hips bucked and another deep sound left his lips, making Makoto wonder if he could come just from listening to Haru like this. He certainly thought it possible, considering just how hard he was. He switched sides and repeated the process and by then he could feel Haru’s hand trembling in his hair, his hips moving in a subtle rhythm.

“Off.” Suddenly came from Haru and Makoto scrambled back onto his knees. Haru groaned and shook his head. “No, your shirt, off.”

“Oh!” Makoto could tell he was blushing and then wondered at himself. _Why would this make me blush after all of this?_ But he managed to unbutton it quickly enough and then turned to drop it on the floor, too. By the time he’d turned back Haru was unbuckling his belt.

For a brief second, his vision went black.

He managed to get himself together though and by then Haru had already worked it off and was about to get to his trousers but Makoto grabbed his hands. “Let me.” He had no idea where this courage came from but he suddenly wanted to be the one to do it. He popped the button and carefully pulled the zipper down. He could see Haru’s gaze fixed on his face and then he lifted his hips. Makoto pulled them down Haru’s slim hips, then off completely with a bit more help from Haru and then just stared. Haru was wearing black boxer briefs and for a second Makoto wondered if that was because they reminded him of his jammers the most. He could clearly see Haru’s erection and he couldn’t stop himself from stoking a finger down the length of it. Haru groaned and his hips twitched again. “Makoto, not fair.”

Makoto grinned at him but then quickly moved to get rid of his own trousers and their socks. He was left in his white briefs and suddenly unsure. He knew what he wanted, what he’d thought about since that morning. “Off?”

“Yes.”

He felt emboldened that Haru didn’t even hesitate, so he grabbed the top of his briefs and lifted, careful of the erection underneath and then just pulled them off. He decided not to wait, already feeling self-conscious and quickly got rid of his own too. He looked back at Haru and the sight stole his breath. He was laid out in front of Makoto, his hand on his stomach, his cock long and lean and perfect. Makoto couldn’t resist but ran his hand down Haru’s inner thigh and felt it tremble. Haru lifted on his elbow and caught his hand with his other, and pulled forward. Makoto could only obey.

He settled gently down between Haru’s legs, their erections slotting together and they both groaned. Like this, with no clothes between them to act as a barrier, the feeling was so much more intense. _This is not going to last long._ He decided that thinking about it was not going to help one bit so he kissed Haru again. There was no finesse, just tongues and teeth and saliva and he couldn’t help but rock against him. This got them both gasping into the kiss and when Haru started rocking back all Makoto could do was hold on and kiss him some more.

They moved together, faster and faster, their kisses getting sloppier when he pulled back slightly to catch his breath and that’s when Haru threw his leg across Makoto’s hip, aligning them just right. He knew he couldn't last much longer so he bit Haru’s neck where it met the shoulder. Haru shouted and then he was coming and Makoto wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a more beautiful sight. It was enough to set him off too and he buried his face in Haru’s neck, pleasure coursing through his body.

~~

Makoto finally opened his eyes, still breathing heavily, uncertain how long it’d been. Haru’s hand was gently rubbing small circles on his back and he lifted his head. A lazy smile greeted him, Haru's face shining. Makoto could only smile back and press their mouths together in a kiss, burying both his hands in Haru’s hair. His whole body was almost boneless but then he remembered he must be crushing Haru and went to move.

“No,” Haru pressed down with his hand, “stay.”

Feeling he could do nothing else, he stayed and kissed him again. Their tongues lazily met and circled each other, before parting. Makoto couldn’t help but kiss his cheek, his temple, before closing his eyes and just breathing in Haru’s scent.

Haru’s hand moved again and Makoto shivered. He couldn’t quite process what happened. He didn’t expect it. He couldn’t describe how incredible it had been. He wanted to feel it again. He wanted to feel that close to Haru as he did in that last moment when he’d seen him come. He pressed a kiss below Haru’s ear and finally moved, even if Haru protested.

“I think cleaning up a bit now is better.”

Haru smiled at him “We made a mess.”

Makoto giggled because honestly but just kissed his nose “Yes, we did,” and then padded to the bathroom. He quickly got a washcloth and cleaned himself off, trying really hard to avoid looking at himself in the mirror but he caught a glimpse anyway and then stared. His hair was sticking up, his face was flushed, his lips red. His eyes though were sparkly and shining and he knew it was happiness. _Well, not so bad then._ He rinsed it and returned to the bedroom where Haru hadn’t moved from how he’d left him.

He gently cleaned him off, finding the whole process oddly intimate. Haru brushed Makoto’s face with his fingers in silent thanks and Makoto returned to the bathroom to get rid of the cloth. He smiled at himself in the mirror and thought that the New Year started just right.

Back in the bedroom, he saw that Haru had already put the covers up and moved towards the middle of the bed. He briefly glanced at their clothes on the floor and decided that he should just follow Haru in this so he crawled in too, without bothering to put anything on. Haru was dozing but turned when he felt Makoto embrace him as he usually did now, tilting his head up for a kiss, and Makoto gladly obliged. They settled down, their hands intertwined on Haru’s stomach and fell into deep, satisfied sleep.

~~

Makoto stretched, feeling happy to his toes and knowing he had a grin on his face. He decided it was justified. Turning, he buried his face in his pillow, and giggled. It had been such a wonderful night.

Haru had woken him up that morning to tell him he was off for another run. Makoto had grumbled but then hearing Haru hadn’t wanted to just leave, in case Makoto woke up before he returned, made his heart flutter. He had kissed him, long and slow, and then let him go. Once Haru was off though he hadn’t been able to get back to sleep right away so he’d gotten up himself and went and took a long bath laughing how for all his embarrassment during that dinner they hadn’t even ended up at the baths yet but they had ended up naked anyway.

He’d gotten sleepy then and returned to bed, only to be woken a few moments ago by what was obviously Haru, moving around in the other room. _Probably setting up lunch, I can’t believe that it is this late! I’m so lazy!_ But he smiled anyway, then slowly got up and got dressed.

Walking into the room, he smiled as Haru was indeed moving around the table, setting up their lunch. He was even humming something under his breath. Makoto walked over and grabbed him in a hug, wrapping his arms around Haru’s waist, kissing his neck. “Hello.”

One of Haru’s hands sneaked around Makoto’s neck and Haru craned his neck, giving him a quick kiss before murmuring “Hello sleepy head.”

“I can’t believe I slept so much!”

“I can’t believe I actually got up and went for a run this morning.”

Makoto laughed and gave him another peck then let him go.

“You’re afraid of Sousuke.”

“We do have two beds here, for the two of us.”

“You’re a tough professional athlete who knows he has to keep up with his training even when faced with ultimate temptations.”

Haru gave him a beatific smile and they laughed, seating themselves.

Makoto ate his soup and wondered at their ease. He’d worried a bit, how it would be, between them, once they passed into being a couple. They were best friends but this was something very different. _Or maybe not, this is just more now. I’m so glad._ He remembered his previous thought and chuckled, prompting a questioning look from Haru.

“I was just thinking about something earlier. We still haven’t used the baths.”

Haru raised his eyebrows and blinked at him. “You’re right. Later today?

“Yes, I’d like that.”

He didn't even feel anything but excitement now, though of course it helped Haru’s parents were not there with them. He cleared his throat and returned to his soup. It would also help if he didn’t think about parents at all at a time like this.

“Makoto?”

“Hmm?”

“You’ll come to the team meet?”

 _Where did this come from now?_ He swallowed hastily and put his bowl down. “Yes, of course I am coming.” He sat up and reached out to Haru. “Haru?”

Haru’s hand took his, and he shrugged. “I’d like you to be there.”

“Of course. I told you long ago I would be. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Haru just nodded at him, squeezed his fingers once more and went back to his food. Makoto was left feeling like there was something else there but intuition had him keep his tongue. _Haru will talk when he’s ready and if he doesn’t, well, I’ve learned to ask now._

~~

Haru adjusted the towel around his hips and walked out of the bathroom to find Makoto on the phone with his parents, calling to wish them a happy New Year. He’d called his own earlier, both of them thanking Haru’s mother for the time at the ryokan quite sincerely. His mother had let him go with a “I’m glad you’re happy Haru,” and he was left to wonder if it truly was that evident just by his voice alone.

Makoto’s head was bowed and he was listening to something on the other end of the line, so he cleared his throat, not wanting to startle him. Makoto turned and then slowly ran his gaze down his body and Haru could swear it felt like a heated caress. He walked over to him slowly and noticed Makoto was not actually paying attention to the phone, so he gestured.

“Ah, yes, sorry mother. The staff knocked to take our lunch” Makoto blushed and cleared his throat. “Haru wants to talk to you a second.” He handed him the phone, and plopped down on the couch tiredly.

Haru raised his eyebrow but took the phone. “Tachibana-san, I just want to say Happy New Year, and I hope you’re all well.”

“Haru. Yes, thank you. Happy New Year from us as well. We’re all well, thanks. The twins miss Makoto, they were hoping to see him but we’re all well.”

Glancing at Makoto, he saw he was staring at his hands, not looking at him “He has been working incredibly hard Tachibana-san, we both have.”

“Yes, of course. Well, Happy New Year Haru, you both enjoy the rest of your stay.”

They said good byes and Haru ended the call. Walking over to Makoto, he left the phone on the table and leaned forward, bringing their foreheads together and threading one of his hands in Makoto’s hair. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Haru closed his eyes, just breathing with Makoto.

“Come on Makoto, I’ll wait for you in the bath.” He placed a soft kiss on his lips and walked out, allowing Makoto some space.

It was quite beautiful there, calm and quiet, and Haru hoped it’d help relax Makoto. They would need to talk once back home but not now. Leaving the towel on one of the lounges, he walked into the steaming bath and sighed. It was like pure bliss. He moved so that he could see the path and let his eyes close. Haru thought he’d almost dozed off for a bit when he heard footsteps. Allowing his eyes to open a little, he saw Makoto coming, a towel around his hips and a small smile.

He had to smile in return and then he sketched a little wave, otherwise saying nothing. Makoto turned around, then cleared his throat and put the towel next to his own on the lounge chair. Haru watched him, his broad shoulders, the narrow hips, his cock long and thicker than his own, already half hard, those long powerful legs. He felt himself respond and moaned softly. Never in a million years did he think he’d be responding like this but all these feelings were coming fast at him and all he could do was ride the tide.

Makoto submerged himself completely then sat down on the ledge across from Haru, his eyes closed. He sighed “This is so relaxing.” Haru hummed and then moved to stand in front of Makoto.

“Turn around,” pulling at his arm and Makoto went with it, leaning on his arms on the edge of the bath.

Haru slowly started kneading his shoulder muscles, one side then the other. Slow, careful movements, mixed with gentle strokes down his sides. Makoto’s head fell onto his hands and Haru felt him letting go completely. He made sure to reach all the muscles, knowing a massage would do him good before he decided that all that skin was too inviting to resist. He kissed down Makoto’s neck, feather-like presses of lips, while his arms sneaked around and gave both of Makoto’s nipples a gentle brush. Haru could hear Makoto’s breathing speed up and his head turned looking for Haru’s kiss. He obliged him, tongues meeting and circling each other, before Haru sucked on Makoto’s lower lip. He tweaked one of his nipples and Makoto’s head fell forward again with a groan.

Haru thought that he loved Makoto’s neck. That long column of creamy skin, perfect for him to play with. Alternating nips and kisses he paid more attention to it, his hand still playing with Makoto’s nipple. He allowed his other to wonder down Makoto’s stomach and he could hear Makoto’s breath catch.

Kissing Makoto’s nape, he grasped his erection. Makoto’s hips bucked, pushing his cock even further into Haru’s fist and they both moaned. He had never done this to another man, never wanted to, but it felt so good in his hand, silky and smooth, yet hard. Moving his hand slowly up and down he tested the weight, the feel of it, while slowly mouthing Makoto’s nape. He knew what he liked so thought he'd stick to that, they had time to learn each other. Reaching the head, he gave a gentle twist, and then swiped across the head with his thumb. He could feel Makoto shaking from the desire now and then he caught Haru’s hand with his own.

He stopped and moved back a bit to look at Makoto but he was already turning and grabbing Haru by the waist, pulling forward. Haru’s legs spread on instinct and he ended up straddling him.

He didn’t have time to think about anything else because Makoto’s other hand had gone to his hair and he was being kissed with such ferocity and passion that all he could do was let Makoto take. He realized he was emitting little sounds of pleasure but Makoto’s tongue was pressing his in a familiar rhythm and he just couldn't help it. He let his arms wind around Makoto’s neck, seeking more touch. Haru wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way but then one of Makoto’s hands sneaked down and encircled both of their cocks before stroking.

Haru broke the kiss and inhaled sharply, then moaned. Makoto’s corresponding moan made him shiver and he could help but move his hips in shallow thrusts, along with Makoto’s strokes. Every once in a while, Makoto would brush his thumb against the tip of the head and send sparks down his lower back. His lips were taken in another kiss, tongues, teeth and saliva and he suddenly knew his climax was near.

“Makoto…” his hand tugged on Makoto’s hair so he raised his head and looked at Haru, his eyes full of desire. He didn’t speak though but kissed him again, then along his jaw, down to his ear before sucking on his earlobe.

His voice was low and gravely when he whispered into Haru’s ear “I want to see you Haru.”

A twist of his hand, and Haru was lost, his toes curling and all his nerve endings firing as he came in one long, drawn out sound. A few seconds later he heard Makoto shout, joining him in falling over the edge. When the wave of pleasure finally abated, he was left breathing heavily and his head fell onto Makoto’s shoulder. Makoto was breathing equally hard and they both groaned, sensitive when he finally let go of them and moved his hand to embrace Haru.

Haru felt himself pulled as close as possible by Makoto’s strong arms, embraced in a firm hug, their heads resting on each other’s shoulders and he closed his eyes, exhausted but infinitely content.

~~

Haru was once again asleep, his head resting on Makoto’s shoulder. They were on the train again, only this time going back home. Makoto sighed and wished that they could have stayed for longer. But time was a relentless master and they had to leave their haven behind.

_Everything is going to change now._

He looked at Haru, who snuggled even closer. His hair was sticking up again, and Makoto smiled, thinking back on how they were in this exact same position, not so long ago. He had wanted to run his fingers through Haru’s hair then too, the need to smooth it down, to touch, strong.

The train was full again, people everywhere and Makoto felt his jaw clench. _We have already changed._ He reached out and smoothed the black strands, threading his fingers through Haru’s hair in a soothing rhythm.

_It’s worth it. For him, it’s all worth it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some fun :)  
> Next chapter, back to the real world. Care to guess who finds out first? I have cookies.  
> Boys all KyoAni's, I just make them be naughty. But they're happy so it's ok.


	9. Chapter 9

#  Chapter 9

 

Haru slapped the wall and broke the surface of the water.

He breathed deeply, feeling every muscle of his body and shook the water out of his hair. Looking up he saw Sousuke standing at the edge of the pool, his hands on his hips, frowning.

“Well Nanase, that was the best one yet.”

“Eh?”

“Your best time yet, have you gone deaf while on that little holiday. It did a good one for your times even if you did, so no harm done.”

“Very funny.”

Sousuke grinned at him “I sure thought so. A couple of more sets then we’re done for the day. I’m going to go swim a few laps.”

Haru rolled his eyes and went back to swimming a slower set. This was his first training session with Sousuke since he and Makoto had gotten back and he was glad to see he was in excellent shape. He couldn’t deny that there was something extra now, he was feeling at peace and happy and it was helping. He also needed to call Makoto once the training was over _._ Simple fact was, he missed him. Of course they’d talked to each other, they made a point of it especially before sleep time but it had been four days since their retreat and Haru missed him. He wanted to see Makoto. That got him thinking about simply inviting him over, there was no reason to wait. Deciding that was actually a great idea, he went back to concentrating on his count and finished off the practice.

Sousuke caught up to him in the locker rooms, when he was almost done getting dressed. “Here’s what I have planned for the next two weeks,” he handed him a roster, “I’ve changed some things around and focused on others. But the meet is approaching and we need to be ready.”

Haru nodded, “I suppose I also have an email waiting.”

“Of course, all the details are there. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yamazaki?”

“Hmm?

Haru just looked at him and raised his eyebrows.

“I did text him. I’ll ring him up on the weekend.”

“If you need anything, just give either Makoto or me a call.”

Sousuke nodded. “Thanks,” then sketched a little wave and was off to get changed himself leaving Haru behind. _I hope this works out and Rin doesn’t decide to murder us all._

He grabbed his phone, then his bag and hurried out.

_But now, I need to get out of here and talk to Makoto._

~~

Turning the page, Makoto finally found the information he was looking for, to help him clarify one of the topics they’d gone through in class today. He used his pen to scratch the side of his nose and then went back to writing out the important points. He knew he could type it all out but somehow he always learned better when he could write things out by hand first. It did prolong his study time a bit but the result was what counted so he never let go of the habit.

He was so engrossed in the book that he didn’t even notice the phone buzzing by his side until it bumped into his glass. Makoto jerked then reached for it and he could see Haru’s name flashing. A smile bloomed on his face, as he pressed answer.

“Haru!”

“Am I interrupting?”

“No, no, of course not.” He wanted to tell him he’d always welcome it, even if he were but suddenly felt too shy. “I’m just studying a bit, going through what we covered for the day.”

“Of course you are.”

Makoto chuckled and relaxed in his chair “You know me. How are you? Today was the first session with Sousuke, right? How did it go?”

“Good, yes and great.”

It took him a few seconds to sort out the answers “Oh! Oh that’s great. How is Sousuke?”

“The same. He said he’d contact Rin for the weekend.”

Makoto couldn’t suppress a wince. “I am glad to hear it but Rin is going to be so angry at all of us. He was so excited when he told me about the text he got from Sousuke and I honestly felt bad.”

“Yes,” Makoto heard Haru sigh on the other end, “but this was for the best. Yamazaki had to take care of his own issues first. That’s not why I’m calling though. I was wondering if you may want to come over.”

“What, tonight? But tomorrow’s Friday.”

“You have just the short block in the morning, right? I was thinking you pack a bag, come over, then go to your classes as normal, and then we have the whole weekend.”

Makoto blinked.

He had thrown himself into his classes as soon as they had gotten back and he had had to honour a promise to his friends and go out with them two days prior, due to the new year so they hadn’t done more than talk to each other, even if several times during the day, but he hadn’t thought about staying the weekend at Haru’s, apart from their usual Sunday lunch. Now that the idea was there though, he wanted to grab it with both hands.

“If you don’t…” came Haru’s tentative voice and Makoto hurried to interrupt him.

“Haru. Yes. Yes.” Haru’s laugh was the best sound in the world. “Let me just finish this, it’ll take about half an hour and I’ll pack a few things and be there.”

“Good. Good.”

“I’ll see you soon then.”

“Yes, see you soon.”

Hanging up, Makoto grinned and went back to his book.

_The sooner I’m done, the faster I’ll get to see him._

~~

Sighing when he finally reached Haru’s door, Makoto unlocked it and then swiftly took off his shoes. That had felt like forever but at least he’d managed it. Entering the living room, he dropped the bag he’d packed for the few days as well as the grocery one he had with him. He had stopped by the combini and got some snacks for them, in case they wanted to watch something tonight and the juice he liked, that he knew Haru didn’t have.

The bedroom door opened, and Haru walked out, obviously just fresh from the shower.

“You’re here.” He sent Makoto a dazzling smile and walked to him. Makoto was just taking off his scarf but Haru seemingly wasn’t willing to wait, cutting off any potential awkwardness of meeting like this for the first time since they'd returned. He pulled Makoto into a welcome kiss, before adding a breathy “I missed you.”

Makoto always wondered how Haru could be so quiet a lot of the time and yet so blunt at others. Whenever he said something like this though, he felt completely unmanned so he let go of his scarf in favour of burying his hands in Haru’s hair and bringing their mouths together again. Their tongues touched and Makoto groaned. _Oh how I missed this. How I missed his scent, his taste_. Four days and yet it seemed like ten times that. He slowly explored Haru’s mouth, soaking up the little whimpers Haru was emitting before the need for air became all important and he broke the kiss.

“I’m here. I missed you too.”

He smiled and pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss. Haru’s eyes roamed over his face and Makoto had the notion that he was taking his fill. He figured it was so because he was doing the same.

“I brought snacks.”

Haru laughed softly and then walked over to the bag, peeking. “And your juice, good. I’ll take these to the kitchen. I made dinner. You haven’t eaten?”

“No, actually. I wanted to leave right after I finished the work and didn’t have the time before.” He unwound his scarf finally and then took off his jacket too. He could see Haru give him a side glance and raised his hands “I would have made something if someone hadn’t invited me over.”

“All right. You want to leave your things in the bedroom?”

“Ah. Yes. Of course.” He blushed and then grabbed it before ambling over to it. Something new to get used to he supposed, but he didn’t mind one bit. It was a good new something, including all these emotions those few words now caused. He took out the clothes and then opened the closet to put them away, so that they wouldn’t get wrinkled. Ironing was not something he loved, and had always left it to his mother, much like laundry. What greeted him made him pause. Haru had cleared out a part of his closet for him and the empty space just stood there, with Makoto blinking at it, his eyes suddenly moist and the intense feelings he had for Haru almost overwhelming him.

_He doesn’t need to say anything at all, when he does things like this._

He breathed in deeply a few times, trying to collect himself, then put the clothes away. By the time he walked back out to the living room, he was more settled though the goofy grin on his face was still there. Haru was putting the dinner dishes on the table and Makoto stopped him, grabbing his hand, before kissing his temple.

“Thank you.”

He got a smile in return, a quick peck and Haru went back to setting their meals.

_He doesn’t need to say anything at all._

~~

“Haru. Haru!”

He could hear Makoto’s worried whispers and he dragged himself out of the dark depths of sleep.

“Hmm?”

“Someone’s ringing the doorbell. Haru, it’s four in the morning!”

He rubbed his face with his hand, trying to get rid of the cobwebs in his eyes. They had gone to bed relatively early, what with Makoto’s classes and his training, looking to get some rest and hadn’t done much more than cuddle and kiss a bit, before Makoto had wrapped his arms around him and they had drifted off. He managed to get himself somewhat coherent and glanced at the clock, seeing that it was indeed just four.

“What…” He shook his head and then climbed out of bed. “I’ll be right back.”

“I should go with you.” But Makoto’s voice was a little bit shaky and he clutched at the sheet.

“No need, it’s probably someone who got the wrong apartment. It’s all right.”

He pushed his hair out of his face and padded out to the living room. Whoever was out there was almost sitting on the bell by now. He shook his head, ready to let his frustration out, but checked who it was just in case. There was no need to be stupid after all, one never knew. What he saw made him groan. Haru pushed the door open and groaned again as he had not imagined it.

Sousuke was leaning on the bell, because quite obviously he would otherwise have been on the floor. He was barely keeping himself standing up even with that. Haru really didn’t need to ask what happened, it was pretty obvious.

“Come on Yamazaki.” He tugged at his arm and then decided that wasn’t the best idea as he pitched forward. Managing to catch him, which was no easy feat considering he was taller and heavier than Haru by quite a bit, he wrangled him into the apartment, all the while trying not to choke on the stench of alcohol and tobacco that was coming from the man.

“This is all your fault Nanase.”

“Yes, yes it is,” _for meddling into this in the first place, more the fool me._ “Shoes Yamazaki.”

“Nanase!”

“Stop yelling Yamazaki, I’m right here. Shoes!”

That managed to pierce the alcohol fog and after a few tries, Sousuke got his shoes off, and one sock, and Haru proceeded to drag him into the living room. By then Makoto had come out to investigate as he had heard voices and Haru could see his eyes were the size of saucers upon seeing who had been at the door. Makoto wasted no time though, getting Sousuke’s other arm around his shoulder, which made the whole trip to the couch much faster and easier. They dumped him on it and Sousuke whined.

Haru could see him blinking, trying to focus and sighed. “You go get the additional blankets, I’ll get the water. He’s going to pass out soon.” Makoto was quiet and just nodded, so Haru went to the kitchen to fill a pitcher. He hoped they could get some water into him or tomorrow was going to be a joy. He sighed again, and grabbed a glass, before returning. Makoto was already back, trying to tuck a blanket around Sousuke who was still blinking and trying to hoist himself up on his elbows. It was a difficult task as he was completely uncoordinated. Makoto had to keep catching him and pushing him back onto the couch.

It was too narrow for a drunk man Sousuke’s size, Haru was pretty sure he couldn’t sleep there like that comfortably, never mind someone like Sousuke. Oh well. He’d live. Haru put the pitcher on the table and filled the glass.

More importantly, it was obvious Sousuke had far bigger problems.

“There you are Nanase!”

“Here, drink this,” he tried handing him the water but Sousuke just blinked at him stupidly. “Your head is going to kill you tomorrow if you don’t, come on Yamazaki.” He tried again and this time Sousuke was willing, except for the small issue of apparently seeing more than one, if his trying to grab a glass a good few inches to the left of Haru’s hand was any indication. Haru could see Makoto was trying not to laugh, and feeling put upon, he sighed and caught Sousuke’s arm, getting his fingers firmly wrapped around it, then making sure that the fool actually got some of the water in, instead of all over himself.

He drained it, then gave it back “Thank you Nanase.” His voice was shot, rough and low.

“You’re welcome.” Haru sighed, wondering whether to even ask. He glanced at Makoto, feeling unsure but it seemed that Makoto didn’t have any answers either. He only got a slight shrug from him. Pushing his hair back again, Haru pursed his lips. Sousuke was quiet.

He could hear Makoto moving and then one of Makoto’s hands was in his hair, smoothing it down.

The silence was interrupted by Sousuke, who suddenly seemed to have choked on air then pointed at them.

“You two are fucking!”

“Sousuke!” Makoto went pale and his strangled voice made Haru reach out and touch his lower back but before he could say anything, Sousuke started chuckling.

The chuckles turned to full blown laughter. He didn’t seem to be able to stop and he kept shaking his head at them. Haru glanced at Makoto who was stunned and then Sousuke suddenly subsided. A deep, oppressive silence reigned for a few moments before it was interrupted again, this time by quiet sobs from the man on the couch, tears running down his face. He tried covering it with his hands but nothing could stem the flow of his tears.

Haru felt his heart constrict.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean … Rin hates me.” Came from behind the fingers covering Sousuke’s face and Haru knelt next to the couch, grabbing his hand and pushing it down.

“Yamazaki. Sousuke. He doesn’t hate you.”

Sousuke’s head was bowed and he wouldn’t look up at them.

Haru glanced at Makoto, who seemed near tears himself by then too, and felt helpless. He was sure it was the alcohol and stress and the reeling from what had obviously been a bad fight that were pushing Sousuke’s thoughts into such an extreme direction, but he could understand nonetheless. There was nothing to be done though, not that night anyway, and he knew Sousuke wasn’t able to listen just then.

“Get some sleep, when morning comes, we’ll figure it out. We will.”

He slowly got up, and helped Makoto secure the blanket around the prone man. He glanced towards the bedroom.

“Haru, Makoto?”

“Yes?”

“I’m really happy for you two.”

“Thank you Sousuke,” came from Makoto and Haru just patted his flank, and then they left him to it.

Makoto was standing in front of the bed, just looking at it and Haru decided that they both needed a bit of comfort. “Get in, come on Makoto.”

“But…” He could see Makoto was confused but he gently pushed him anyway and Makoto slid under the covers. Haru followed and then settled himself on his back. He looked at Makoto and patted his chest.

Makoto smiled gratefully then moved and embraced Haru, rubbing his cheek against the softness of Haru’s shirt. Haru closed his arms around him, threading one of his hands through Makoto’s hair. He could feel the weight pressing him down and was reassured they were both there, together.

“It sounds bad.”

“I’m sure that it was. But you know how Rin is. Want to bet there was no actual talking done?”

He heard Makoto sigh heavily. “It's Rin and he's hurting. And Sousuke probably just let him rant.”

Haru didn’t say anything because Makoto was right and they both knew it. Sousuke felt guilty over the whole issue and there weren’t enough words by Haru or Makoto to tell him that he had the right to spend some time on himself.

“Let’s sleep.” He turned the light off and closed his eyes. Makoto’s steady breathing was causing him to slowly relax and he was dozing off when Makoto’s voice reached him.

“Hey Haru. You called him Sousuke.”

“Good night Makoto.”

Makoto’s chuckles followed him into sleep.

~~

Haru’s phone rang and he wondered if flinging it into the wall would be considered too childish.

They’d managed to catch some sleep before Makoto’s alarm sounded at six thirty. He had tried being as quiet as possible but Haru had heard him anyway. It was hard not to, though the kiss good morning he demanded in payment sorted it all out. Friday meant a late start so he had an hour longer, and once Makoto was off, he fell back into a light doze. Until his phone blared and jerked him out of it not ten minutes later.

He sighed and patted his nightstand, before locating it and glaring at the name.

_Of course._

“It’s not even eight in the morning.”

“You’re a professional athlete Nanase, you should have been up by now.” Rin’s clipped tones sounded from the other end and he sighed. “Do you have Sousuke’s address?”

“What?” Haru was sure he heard that wrong.

“Did you go deaf on that little trip of yours?” Haru counted to ten, really, these two were made for each other. And to torment him. “He’s not answering his phone, in fact, it’s turned off. I had a little disagreement with Sousuke last night, the guy who I was worried sick over, who you and Makoto knew was in Tokyo, oh and who you regularly saw in Tokyo but not one of your saw fit to tell me. He’s not answering his phone again and I’m worried, again, and…”

“Rin.”

“What?”

“You’re done.”

“No, I’m not! I am just getting started!”

“Yes, you are. Rin. You’re an idiot but Makoto and I love you anyway.”

There was just silence from the other end now and Haru nodded his head. He had no patience for this _._ “We would never do anything to hurt you, we care about you too much. But not everything is about you Rin. If we had to choose all over again? We’d still honour Sousuke’s wishes.” He sighed. “Did you even talk to him last night, or did you just rant?” More silence and Haru rolled his eyes at the ceiling. “You ranted. There’s no need for me to go anywhere. Sousuke’s here, passed out on my couch. He’s going to be fine, albeit with a queen of all headaches, but fine. He showed up drunk so we put him to sleep there. Anyway, I’m going to go get him up and sorted out, and then he’s going to call you on Skype and then he’s going to explain.”

Haru flopped back onto the bed and rubbed his face with his hand. He did love the idiot. “I know you’re hurt but Rin, just listen to him, will you?”

“He disappeared for months Haru.”

“I know but Rin, sometimes we get so messed up we need space. Remember what I told you, when we talked about him all those months ago?”

“I could have helped.”

“Sometimes, sometimes the thing that helps is letting other people help themselves. It’s hard stepping back, the hardest when you care the most, but Sousuke cares about you too. Think about that.”

“Being adult sucks.”

“Yes, yes it does. But there are perks. He’ll call you soon. Are you going to be home or are you off to practice?”

“I’ve cancelled it for the day, I just couldn’t.”

“Probably for the best. Now go take a shower, and make some tea.”

“Mother hen.”

“No, that’s Makoto.”

He could hear Rin laughing and closed his eyes in relief. It was going to be just fine _._

“Haru?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you guys too.”

“Idiot.”

They both laughed and Haru shook his head. “All right, I need to get Sousuke up, he probably needs about an hour so don’t fret. Go.”

“Thank you Haru.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll talk this afternoon, Makoto only has a morning set of classes so he’ll be home in the afternoon. Later.” He was about to hang up when Rin shouted “Haru!”

“What?”

“You’re calling him Sousuke!” Rin’s voice was full of wonder and Haru just hung up on him.

_This is going to be a long day._

Throwing the covers away from himself, he padded to the bathroom and splashed some water onto his face, carding his fingers through his hair, trying to make it look less wild. Makoto's hand smoothing it down would be ideal just about then but reality sucked. He quickly brushed his teeth and then returned to the bedroom. Glancing at the bed, he decided that he couldn’t take one more mess right then so he got to straightening it all out. Satisfied, he powered on the computer, leaving it that way, and then changed into his running clothes, before grabbing his bag for training, heading for the living room and his guest.

Sousuke was sprawled on the couch, his leg hanging off the side and snoring. Haru wondered how long it would take before he fell off, considering he was dangerously listing towards the edge. He shook his head then gently pushed him back, causing the other man to grumble.

“Yamazaki.” More grumbles and he groaned. “Yamazaki wake up.” He pursed his lips then grinned. “Yamazaki, Rin called.” Sousuke’s eyes opened, even if slowly and he tried sitting up, only to grab his head and fall back onto the pillow.

“Kill me now.”

“No can do. But you did make a credible attempt last night, I give you that.”

“Ugh.”

“Indeed. Now, as I said, Rin called. He was worried about you.” One bleary eye opened again, and Haru nodded. “You’re going to go take a bath, make yourself look at least half-human, then talk to him. I told him to wait for you on Skype in about an hour, I’ve left my computer on, and it is on the bed.”

“I am not sure where to start.”

“The beginning is usually the best.” That got him a frown but Haru was too tired to care. “We’ve talked about this. You can talk to Rin about it too. Didn’t you already have one of these conversations before?”

Sousuke closed his eyes and mumbled “This is different.”

“Ah.” Haru raised his eyebrows and he suddenly understood. _Of course._ “Yes, I see. Well, even considering that, especially considering that then.”

“Nanase…”

“Sousuke, I think by now we’ve established I can keep my mouth shut.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And if I may, it’s not hopeless. I’m going to put my bag close to the door, so don’t worry, take all the time you need. You have the privacy. Makoto won’t be back until two. We expect to still find you here, you need to eat. I’m off to run.”

He turned and was on his way to the door when he heard his name.

“Haru?”

“Yes?”

“You’re calling me Sousuke!”

“Yes, well, you called me Haru. We’re all idiots.”

He stuffed his cap on his head, put on his shoes and slammed the door.

_A long, long run. Maybe to China._

~~

Unlocking his door, Haru finally got home. It was well around four by then and he was pleasantly tired. In the end, it had turned out to be quite a good day. The run had cleared his head and then the practice went quite well. He felt great in the water, comfortable and relaxed, so he was in a much better mood just then, compared to that morning. He wondered about Rin but figured they had probably worked it all out. He spotted Makoto’s shoes and Sousuke’s so was glad to see they were there _._

Lunch seemed to be in order. He was beyond hungry and Makoto had probably been studying since he got home too.

Not even a few steps into the living room and he stopped because the table had been set and he could see the food under the covers, all ready to be served. Looking around, he saw Makoto, bent over a book and Sousuke lounging on the couch, his legs stretched out, a blanket thrown over him, lightly dozing.

“Haru! You’re home!”

Makoto closed the book, smiling and got up. A light kiss followed and Haru blinked. Well, all right _._

“Yes, and just in time I see. You two made lunch.”

“I hope you cook Nanase, or you two are going to starve. Makoto is hopeless.”

“I made rice balls!”

Haru patted Makoto’s arm in sympathy, then smirked at Sousuke, who got up and was stretching. “Thank you guys. I’d eat anything at this point, I'm that hungry.” That was all it took to get them moving, and soon they were devouring their food. Haru wasn’t too surprised because he was pretty sure Makoto had skipped breakfast and he could only imagine how Sousuke was faring. Eating would be good for him, though he already looked much better.

With first hunger assuaged, Haru sighed and sit back, taking a break. Sousuke was actually an excellent cook. They should have meals together when Rin came home, mix it up a bit. Ah, yes. He cleared his throat “I take it all went well?”

Sousuke put down his bowl and nodded. “Yes, it did. It is all sorted. I am truly surprised how easily it went once I managed to explain it, that is. I was so sure it couldn’t be fixed, it’s why I waited so long in the first place.”

Makoto looked up “We’re not children any longer.”

“No, we’re not. We’ve all changed, for the better I think.” Haru added. He smiled at Makoto and got an answering smile, Makoto’s eyes warm and happy.

“Oh honestly.”

“Sousuke?” Makoto’s confused question filled the silence.

“How did I not see it before? You two are so obvious!” He shook his head at them and Haru smirked. “You were kind of busy with your own problems.” He could see Makoto duck his head a bit and squeezed his hand under the table. “Did Rin say anything else?”

“Just that he wants to talk to us all, in about an hour. He went to take a nap, I don’t think he slept much.” Sousuke cleared his throat. “And neither did you. I am truly grateful, Haru, Makoto. For everything. Rin is your friend and you didn’t have to put yourself in this situation, never mind all the other help. Thank you.“ He bowed and Haru could see a light blush spreading up his neck, towards his ears.

“It’s nothing, don’t think about it, please.” Makoto was waving his arms at Sousuke, and Haru just nodded. “Let’s eat, then we can go and talk to Rin.” They quickly went back to their food, all three of them avoiding each other’s eyes.

~~

“Where’s the computer?” Haru was looking around and Sousuke pointed to the bedroom. “Left it there when I was done, powered it down though.” He walked in, intending to take it back to the living room but the other two piled in after him. “Eh?”

“We can use the bed, it’s more comfortable.” Makoto was climbing on without pause, patting the space in front of him. Deciding that it just wasn’t worth it, Haru snuggled into Makoto. Sousuke sighed then followed, and Haru threw a blanket over them all once they'd settled down. “It’s chilly.” He could feel Makoto kissing his hair and Sousuke softly laughing.

“Rin is going to figure it out in less than five minutes. Oh wait, does he already know?”

Makoto was shaking his head “No, I talked to him when we got back without Haru because we were so busy and I didn’t want to say anything while on my own.” Haru could see him chew his lower lip. He tilted his head back and smiled, “He’ll be fine with it.” Makoto nodded shortly but Haru could see he still worried.

The computer booted up and Haru dialled Rin.

“Makoto, there is nothing to worry about, it is Rin!” Sousuke added just when Rin popped up on screen.

“Worry about what? Me what?” Rin piped up and Makoto groaned while Sousuke cackled. Haru sighed and looked up, tangling one of his hands in Makoto’s hair and lightly tugging. “Hey.” Makoto sheepishly smiled at him and shrugged.

“You two are together!” Came from Rin while Sousuke crowed from next to them “I told you!”

They looked at Rin who shouted, threw his arms in the air and then plopped on his back on the floor, while laughing. _Idiot._ But Haru was feeling more benevolent towards him, as Makoto now had a bemused smile on his face, and he could feel that the body under him had relaxed completely. He glanced at Sousuke and his gaze was fixed on Rin, a small smile evident, and he sighed. _Talk about obvious. Keep it a secret, really?_ And indeed Haru could see Makoto frowning in Sousuke’s direction. He poked him slowly, causing the other man to jerk and glare at him. Haru just rolled his eyes then jerked his chin towards Makoto. An embarrassed smile was Sousuke's only answer, making Haru sigh.

Rin had finally stopped laughing then and was grinning, pointing at them “I knew it!” He shook his head before continuing “I knew it! You finally got around to it!”

Makoto was blushing and hid his face in Haru’s hair. “Rin.”

“Aww, come on Makoto. It’s been kind of obvious for a while now. Maybe even longer than a while. I’m happy for you guys.” He grinned at them “Even if you did keep this guy a secret from me.” That got Makoto flustered all over again but Haru was pleased that Rin saw that a change of conversation might be good. They bickered back and forth about the previous months, Sousuke ending up in Haru’s lap at one point, having toppled over while gesturing at Rin, and Haru sighed. _This is going to be my life from now on, I just know it. Though, with Rin with us, soon, instead of through the computer screen._

“Sighing Haru?”

“I’m just thinking how just a few more months and you’ll be back. Time flies.”

“Afraid I’m going to kick your ass?”

“Hardly.”

“I’ll have you know,” Sousuke jumped in, “that Nanase here is in excellent shape. He does have me for a coach after all.” Makoto was now snickering into Haru’s hair at Rin’s affronted look, and Haru just shook his head. _Yes, this is my life. I think I’m going to like it._

~~

They’d seen Sousuke off and were stretched out on the bed, just enjoying the silence. Makoto knew that Haru must be tired, he had enjoyed himself, that was clear enough, at least to Makoto himself, but he needed his quiet too. What made him happy was that it seemed like Haru could be quiet with him. He petted his hair, and let go of another little worry.

It was some time before Haru sighed and turned in his embrace. He smiled that small smile at him and raised his eyebrows “That didn’t go so badly, with Rin and Yamazaki.”

Makoto shook his head and smiled back “No, it went quite well.” He was aware Haru wasn’t referring just to the trouble with keeping Sousuke’s location from Rin but also the two of them essentially coming out to their friends.

It was a conversation they had to have, Makoto realized this but at the same time he dreaded it. He wasn’t sure how to explain to Haru why he did.

Haru though just nodded, and then pushed Makoto’s hair off his face, cupping his cheek. Makoto could tell he was leaving it to him to decide if he wanted to talk now or not. _Courage, love should give me courage. So why am I so afraid then?_ He embraced Haru, drawing him as close as possible.

“I’m afraid.”

Haru’s fingers tightened in his hair, and he felt a gentle kiss to his temple. He hid his face in Haru’s shoulder but continued. They had to be honest with each other or this precious thing they’d found would be lost. “It’s not that I feared how Rin would react, even Sousuke, though I don’t know him as well. He’s a good man, I know that much. I guessed Rin was going to be fine with it too. It’s,” he lifted his head and looked at Haru, ”it’s my mother. My parents.”

“I noticed.” Makoto was not surprised when Haru said that. He always noticed things about Makoto others missed. “Has she said anything?” Haru softly asked.

“Not really. But she hasn’t been the same for a while now, it’s there, in the background. Sentences that could be taken in two ways, her disapproval about the holiday but also, she asked me, she asked me if home was where you are.” He heard Haru’s sharp intake of breath and smiled weakly. “I laughed it off, but Haru...”

“I know.” Haru kissed him slowly, “for me too,” another kiss, another caress. He didn’t say and Makoto was glad because he didn’t think they were quite ready, not yet. He nodded and continued “She did ask. And I,” he took a deep breath and finally spit it out, because if he didn’t, he would choke on the words lodged in his throat, “and I am so very afraid that she already suspects. And that she is not going to accept me. Accept us.”

“Maybe…”

“No.” He was glad his voice was firm but he knew what Haru was going to say and no. “I cannot lie to them. I do not want to lie to them, not about this. I don’t want to hide this part of myself. How do I hide the best part of me?” his voice broke at the end and he shook his head helplessly. “I’m happy Haru. Even if I could conceal it, I don't want to.”

“There is no need to do it now though. Wait a while longer? We are going to be a bit more settled too.” Makoto tightened his hold on Haru and sighed “Yes, but soon enough. I want to do it in person too, I think I have to, so it’ll have to wait a month or so. Haru?”

“Hmm?” Haru’s head was settled in the crook of his neck and he felt a feather-light kiss on his neck. Haru’s touch calmed him, calmed them both, he was pretty sure _._ “After Nationals, and you’re going to get there, let’s not have that conversation, there is going to be interest in you.” Haru shook his head but Makoto would not let himself be deterred. It was how the world worked. “There is. And they’re going to be curious.”

“I don’t know.”

Makoto waited though he felt his throat tighten. He understood, of course he did.

“I understand, I mean I am having trouble talking to my mother, never mind the whole world.”

He hadn’t even finished the sentence properly when Haru moved and looked straight into Makoto’s eyes, taking hold of his face with both his hands. Makoto thought he was almost drowning in the storm of that look, he found it hard to breathe.

“No.” Haru shook his head, looking frustrated then locked their gazes again. “I mean I don’t know how it is going to go. There are sponsors to consider and I don’t think the club would care about this but I would still like to talk to them first, if it gets that far. That’s not what matters though. What matters is you Makoto.”

“Me?”

“Yes. You’re all that matters. It’ll depend on whether you’ve talked to your parents, for one. It’ll depend on whether you’ll want to be open about dating me, even if all that goes well. You have your own career, it is not just mine that is to be thought about here. I know what I want Makoto, but I can’t decide on my own, this is our decision to make.”

“What do you want Haru?” Makoto asked, both afraid and wanting to hear the answer.

“You. I want you. I want to be with you. I want to say I am with you.”

“There is going to be a price.”

“There is always a price. I may not end up paying most of it though.”

Makoto thought about his parents. He thought of a life with no Haru in it. This was a choice he could make. “Some things are worth any price.” He grabbed Haru’s hands that were still loosely resting on his face. “Makoto…” But he wouldn’t hear it. “No, this is my choice to make Haru. My choice.”

He could guess what Haru was thinking and if this was a year ago, he’d probably have been right. He wasn’t a child any longer though. All those months ago, when he had fought with himself about his choice of career, his own dream, he had realized just how important it was to stay true to yourself. He’d stood his ground over his choice of university too, thanks to that. He was certain of what he was saying. Ultimately though, it wasn’t even truly a choice for him, there was only one option. For being without Haru was unthinkable to him.

Haru nodded in the end and he was relieved, glad that Haru trusted him. “All right. So. Tachibana Makoto, my boyfriend?”

Makoto laughed, his eyes wet. “Yes.” He couldn’t help himself then but kissed Haru, slowly and deeply. He needed to feel him, needed that connection, that intimacy. They broke apart reluctantly and Makoto hugged him again. “It’s not going to be easy but good things never are.”

“We also still have time. Nationals are in April and nothing is going to happen before that anyway, if it does even then.” Haru paused and Makoto realized he wasn’t done. “But I’d like to talk to some people before that, if that’s all right? I mean I want you to meet Hamasaki, and his sister too, they are genuinely nice.”

“I’d like that. And I think the guys are going to be all right too. Koizumi already is.” Makoto knew there was one more thing to consider. “Haru? Your parents?”

“We’re not close, as you know.” Makoto pushed Haru’s hair away from his forehead “They are still your parents.”

“Yes but I think that distance is helpful now in some ways. I’ll talk to my mother.”

“This has been an exhausting day.”

“Sleep?”

“Yes, please. I just want to hold you Haru, and rest.”

It didn’t take long for them to get ready for bed and they were soon tucked in, with Makoto in his usual position of big spoon. But that is exactly what he needed now, to hold him and just breathe, and let that wash away the heaviness in his heart.

~~

Haru let the phone ring.

He’d come back from training, and Makoto wasn’t home yet. He’d gone to get a part of one of his group assignments done so it meant meeting at a friend’s place for the duration. He should be back soon though so Haru took the opportunity to have the conversation in private.

“Haru?” His mother’s voice sounded worried but then, it wasn't often that he called them.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Ah, yes, I’m sorry but you rarely call.”

“I don’t like the phone all that much.”

“You don’t like talking all that much Haru.” She was obviously in a good mood, so he decided to just get it over with. It’s not like the outcome would change if he postponed.

“Thank you again for the holiday. We really had a great time.”

“No need to thank us one more time. I already told you that. Haru?”

“Yes?”

“What’s wrong?”

Haru plopped down on the bed and closed his eyes.

“I’m in love with Makoto.”

His mother was quiet and Haru wondered if perhaps a softer approach might have been better.

“I know, Haru.”

“What?”

“I know.” She laughed softly. “Haruka, a mother always knows. Whether we want to admit some things to ourselves is a different matter, but a mother always knows. I knew that night when I saw you together, at dinner. I suspected before, that day when you swam the relay, but I knew that night.”

“Oh.”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes. I’m very happy.”

“Well. Nothing’s wrong then, is it? This is not the life I may have chosen for you, and don’t frown at me,” Haru jerked because he really was frowning, “because it’s not going to be easy for you, or Makoto, but it is what it is.”

“Father...”

“Leave your father to me please.” Her voice was final and he decided to let it go. She knew better anyway. “Has Makoto talked to his parents yet?”

“Ah, no.” He didn’t quite know what prompted him to continue but he did anyway “He doesn’t think it’s going to go well.” They were both silent and he rubbed his face.

“Who you love is not something you choose but you do choose how you live your life Haruka. I’m proud of you, of you both. Just remember this, we can choose our family too, no matter what some may think. After all, he has already chosen you.” He almost felt like she was giving him a hug, the way he remembered she did when he was a small boy. “I’m going to come visit you soon, both of you. If you need anything, anything at all, call me.” He thanked her, aware that it wasn’t enough but he was certain she understood anyway.

She was his mother after all.

Haru wasn’t sure how long he laid there, phone in hand, staring at the ceiling. Long enough at least for the tear tracks to dry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you know when Haru's feeling mushy; he calls Sousuke by his name. And finally movement in the Sourin land, while Makoto and Haru start their path as a couple. It's a long, occasionally bumpy ride.  
> Mushy peeps all KyoAni's, unfortunately.


	10. Chapter 10

#  Chapter 10

 

“Nanase. Hey.”

“Hamasaki. I hope I’m not interrupting.”

“No, no. Nagisa and I are fighting over where to go tonight. We both need a break but we can’t decide what to do. But never mind that, unless you want to join us, which would be great. Her boyfriend is coming too but that’s it. Ah, just a second please.” He could hear a female voice now too and Hamasaki urgently answering her that yes, he had already extended the invitation, if she would please let go of his arm. Haru grinned. He quite liked her. “You probably heard that, please say yes.”

“It’s why I called actually. I was wondering if you would join Makoto and me for a night out.”

“Ah we get to meet the mysterious Makoto!” Hamasaki exclaimed on the other end and then there was a sound of shuffling and suddenly a female voice joined in. “My brother is so rude Nanase, he wouldn’t let me put the speaker phone on.” Haru just snorted because Nagisa was a force of nature and if there was one thing he knew, it was not to fight those. “So, where are we going? We’ve been at it for half an hour and we are not going to decide, so it’s up to you.”

Haru didn’t mind at all, as Makoto had previously suggested a place where he had gone with his University friends a few times. “Makoto and his friends have a restaurant they frequent, the food is good so we thought there.”

“Great, it’ll be just the five of us. I like the others, stop it Akira, but I’d prefer less of a fuss tonight. We both truly do need a break more than anything, and a nice night with a few friends sounds perfect.” A sound of slapping and Haru tried really hard not to laugh. They agreed which station they should meet at and Haru said good bye to them both.

Hanging up the phone, he turned to Makoto who was looking at him with a bemused look on his face.

“And now, you get to meet Nagisa.” He paused, “Hamasaki too of course. And her boyfriend, whose name I don’t remember. But mostly Nagisa.”

~~

They were at the station, standing a bit to the side, when they spotted Nagisa first, primarily due to her brightly red hat and scarf, and her energetic waving at them. Haru tugged at Makoto’s jacket and they walked over. Quick greetings were exchanged before Haru introduced Makoto to them, Hamasaki laughing, saying how he was starting to believe he was Haru’s imaginary friend, so it was good to know all that water hadn’t messed him up completely.

Haru just rolled his eyes at them and then they walked briskly to the restaurant. It was cold outside so they were happy to get indoors and be seated. They had ordered quickly and were enjoying their drinks.

“Ready Nanase? Only two weeks left.” Hamasaki was saying and Haru huffed. “Yamazaki says yes.”

“Your coach?” Nagisa asked.

“Yes.”

Makoto joined in, smiling at Haru “If Sousuke says he’s ready, then he’s ready. You’ll meet him soon but he doesn’t give an inch and is a hard task master.”

“Well then, you should trust in your coach Nanase.” Nagisa said, “It’s important you know. They guide and athletes follow and we need to rely on them. Especially in times like these, it helps with the nerves.” Makoto was nodding, “That’s true.”

“Nanase said you’re going to be a coach Tachibana?” Hamasaki was looking at them both, “Why not coach him then, instead of Yamazaki?”

“Ah yes,” Makoto waved his hands and them while Haru looked on fondly, “but not for adults. I am studying sports education for children, so that’s different. Not to mention, I don’t think I would be a good coach for Haru. We’ve known each other too long, I’ve seen some of Yamazaki’s sessions with him, and I don’t think it would have worked.”

Haru blinked a few times, thinking about it. The truth was, it hadn’t even occurred to him to ask Makoto. He knew Makoto was specializing in children’s training plus now that he thought about it, he was probably right that their relationship would get in the way.

“Children? That’s great. I don’t know if Nanase told you,” Nagisa was twirling the glass in her hand, “but I’m in medical school. I know I want to go back to working in sports, so sports medicine it will probably be for my specialization, but a part of me longs to work with kids too.” She took a sip of her drink, while her boyfriend patted her hand and Haru was startled by how much they just reminded him of Makoto and himself.

“Why not both?” Makoto was asking and Haru smiled at him. “I mean, I don’t know exactly how it works, but there are plenty of children in sports who need looking after.”

Nagisa snorted, suddenly shaking her head in obvious self-deprecation. “Tachibana, how come you thought of it right away and it took me forever?”

“Because you were focused on your own swimming,” her brother squeezed her hand in support, “and your experiences at the club, when you quit. You were looking for a way to stay connected to it. Probably why I didn’t think of it either.”

“That’s true. I wish I didn’t have to quit swimming, even if it wasn’t going to bring me the highest accolades, I still love it. But some sacrifices are worth making.” She shook her head. “I’ve only started thinking about combining it recently, actually around the time I met Nanase here. I’m still a bit uncertain because I would have to make some adjustments in my education.”

“You should go for it!” Makoto was all fired up, Haru understanding right away where it was coming from and he had it confirmed soon enough. “If that is your dream, and it is possible, you should try. It’s worth it, you don’t want to live with regrets.”

“No, I don’t, do I?” A small, almost wistful, smile spread across her face, and Haru thought she was remembering something from before, her eyes focused on the desk Haru was sure, she was not seeing just then. “It’s good to be reminded of that on occasion.” She finally looked up and nodded. “Thank you Tachibana.”

“Ah, it’s nothing, don’t even think of it.” Makoto was blushing and Haru wanted to be able to hug him just then. He was such a wonderful man and Haru felt so lucky at that moment.

Their food arrived just then and the atmosphere shifted to that of happy hums. They were all quite hungry, if Haru were to judge by the way they attacked the servings.

“You know,” Nagisa's voice suddenly turned a peculiar tone, while she eyed Makoto with a considering look. Her brother groaned at that, making Haru wonder what was coming. “Tachibana, you are a nice guy.” Makoto was turning red again, obviously flustered, pointedly focusing on his food. “I have this friend, she’s wonderful. How about I set up a meeting? We can even go out as a group, it’ll be great!” She was smiling but Haru suddenly lost all sense of amusement.

A sense of possessiveness washed over him and his hands tightened on the cup he was holding. A creak reached his ears and he forced himself to loosen his hold a bit.

“Ah,” Makoto coughed, and put his food down, “that’s very kind of you but I am already in a relationship.”

“Well that’s just rotten luck. With whom? She really is nice you know.”

“Me.”

The word was out of Haru’s mouth before he could stop and think. Hamasaki choked on his noodles.

“Haru! Don’t just blurt out things like that!” Makoto's voice was high but Haru could see the slight crinkling at the corner of his eyes. He relaxed as Makoto was obviously not angry and after all, they had wanted to share this with them, if the opportunity came along naturally. Haru shrugged lightly, feeling he accomplished that so what did it matter how. Plus, now she knew to stop trying to set up Makoto with some girl.

He turned his gaze back to Nagisa only to see that she was staring at him and Makoto, her mouth slightly open. Hamasaki started laughing. “You got her to shut up, Nanase I bow down to you.” Nagisa’s boyfriend was also laughing by then and soon everyone joined, including Nagisa herself.

“Oh I am so sorry! I did not mean to be so rude,” she waved her hands then bowed at them. “I just didn’t think.”

“Assumptions are not a good thing my darling sister.” Hamasaki was obviously relishing the opportunity to get a few pokes in at her expense and Nagisa’s boyfriend patted her hand again.

“It’s all right, honestly.” Makoto was being his usual nice self and Haru went back to his tea. “No harm done.”

“I am not so sure,” Nagisa seemed to be back in good spirits with those words, “Nanase here was ready to tear my head off.” Haru just glanced at her and refused to answer. “Oh come on Nanase, you have to admit he’s a wonderful catch. You can’t deny that.” Makoto was turning different shades of red again and Hamasaki was keeling over in his chair. Nagisa’s boyfriend was eating his rice as if it was just another Tuesday. It probably was for him, since he was dating her.

“My wonderful catch.”

Makoto stared at him then and Nagisa laughed. “All right, all right,” she lifted her hands in surrender, “message received, loud and clear.” She squinted at them and nodded her head. “Yes, I can see it.”

“Eh?” Hamasaki had finally managed to get himself together and was looking confused by her words. Haru admitted to himself he was equally lost. “I can see them together, they fit.” She nodded again as if satisfied and went back to her food. Hamasaki just shook his head and then cleared his throat. “Nanase, I don’t mean to sound insensitive, please tell me if it is none of my business,” he huffed, his face a bit pink, “but since I am sure we’ll be going out again with others and then there’s the swimming, are you two open about it?”

Haru slanted a glance at Makoto, who was smiling slightly at him “We’ve talked about it. We’re not hiding being together. We of course prefer our privacy, but I think of you as my friends.” Hamasaki bowed “Thank you, I do too. We all do.” The other two nodded. Haru let a small smile appear on his face, “I know it might come up with the swimming but as I said, we’re not hiding.”

“We shouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Nagisa?” Her brother frowned at her.

“It makes me angry that you have to ask such a thing. Why did you ask Akira, if they are open about being together? There’s no difference between them, and Shiro and me. Oh I know it’s not your fault and you mean no harm but I can’t help it.” _Ah his name is Shiro._ “It shouldn’t be that way.”

Haru wasn’t sure what to say to that. “It’s just how the world is,” Makoto answered her instead. He had a resigned set to his shoulders and Haru touched his hand.

“It shouldn’t be.” She repeated the words again, quite emphatically before sighing. “At least we get to decide what happens in our own corner of it. We’ll support you, of course, with anything that might happen.” Hamasaki was nodding to her words. “Of course we will. What are friends for?”

Makoto couldn’t stay quiet any longer. “Thank you everyone. It means a lot to us.”

“Ah nothing to thank us for. Plus I have ulterior motives.” Hamasaki was grinning. Haru raised an eyebrow at him. “Nanase and I are swimming relay for Japan at the Olympics.”

“I don’t swim relay.”

“You will.”

“Try and get on the team first Akira, then talk about relay. You’re so cocky!” Nagisa was smirking at him but Hamasaki just waved her off. “Relay. We’re swimming relay Nanase. True, we need two more, but we’ll find them.”

“Haru didn’t tell me, what is your style?” Makoto asked. “Breaststroke.” Hamasaki answered and Haru sighed. He just knew what was coming. “Ah, that’s wonderful! Well I have a third for you.”

“What?” Nagisa said. “Tachibana are you infected with this madness too? They haven’t even qualified for the Nationals, never mind anything else. They have to win in their disciplines you know!”

“Matsuoka Rin. Butterfly. He swims free too and you’ll see him fighting Haru every step of the way but butterfly is Rin’s true discipline. He’s training in Australia now but his coach is bringing him for Nationals. They’ve swam a relay when we were kids. Well, we all did, with another friend of ours. You need to find someone for backstroke and you’re set.”

Nagisa was groaning but Hamasaki was obviously brimming over with energy. “Australia?! How good is Matsuoka?”

“The best.” This time Haru felt the need to answer. “Find a fourth and I’ll think it over.”

Hamasaki cackled and raised his glass in toast, while his sister shook her head. “You are all insane.”

Makoto was smiling at him and Haru shrugged “This is going to be all your fault Makoto.” He got another smile as an answer and Makoto learned slightly against him. “It’s going to be wonderful.” Haru just shook his head, smiling.

“Ha, I see why you could never coach him” Nagisa said. “But you know, at least if you did have a fight, you could work it out in some really interesting ways.”

“Nagisa!” Hamasaki yelled but Haru could see he was trying not to laugh. Makoto had choked on his tea.

Nagisa’s boyfriend had switched to squid. Haru joined him.

~~

“You were not joking about Nagisa.” Makoto laughed into Haru’s shirt. They were already dressed for bed, deciding that he’d spend the night, and he was half sprawled over Haru, who was on his back.

“No.”

“They were great though, I’d like spending more time with them.”

“I am sure that we will. You saw how she is. Plus, she rather likes you.”

“Yes, we kept talking about our studies. Medical school, that is so impressive. I can’t believe she even managed to keep up with the swimming for as long as she did. I don’t think I could have, I wouldn’t have even tried.”

He could feel Haru shake his head slightly “You would have tried.” Makoto smiled. They just laid there, Haru’s hand playing with Makoto’s hair, when he remembered. He hadn't wanted to ask with the others there, it was not something he felt Haru would ever share except in private, but he decided it was all right then, when it was just the two of them.

“Haru, are you nervous?”

“About the team meet?”

“Yes.”

Makoto pushed himself up a bit so that he could look at Haru’s face. His eyes were closed, lips pursed. “A little bit,” he said, “most of it is regular anticipation.” Haru bit his lower lip and Makoto stayed quiet, knowing there was more to come. “A part of me though really wants to show Kobayashi he could have worked with me if he just tried.”

“That’s normal, I want that too, for you.” Makoto snorted. He realized he was touchy when it came to Haru, especially now, but he also liked to think he could be at least somewhat impartial. He simply couldn’t understand how someone could miss just how talented Haru was, or not want to work with him to hone that talent.

“I have to focus on the swim itself, it does no good to be distracted. I just wish he had tried.”

Makoto slowly rubbed Haru’s arm, knowing that touch could offer comfort. Haru had proof in Sousuke that he could work with another person just fine but still, it was understandable that first rejection still stung. “You know, we had a guest coach hold a lecture and she said that especially with children, it is important to make sure to be flexible enough in our approach to them, as individuals. A general approach works for the most part, but it must be tailored, and sometimes in certain cases, we must be ready to completely drop it. It's the same when it comes to working with adults. I think he may just be one of those who is inflexible.”

He stretched and kissed Haru gently. “His loss and he is about to find out just how big of a loss it is, too.”

Haru grabbed a hold of his head and pulled him down into another kiss, this one longer and sensual. Makoto could feel Haru’s tongue curl behind his upper teeth, exploring before Haru sucked on his upper lip, making Makoto moan. He moved to cover Haru with his whole body, his arms framing Haru’s head and took his mouth with a passion that sometimes still surprised him. Haru was subtly moving underneath him by then and something inside him thrilled at the idea Haru was so responsive to his touch.

He broke their kiss, laid a quick kiss on Haru’s nose and mumbled “Let’s take a shower together.”

Haru was blinking at him slowly, as if his brain was taking its time catching up and Makoto could see when he grasped the idea as his eyes lit up. He brought their lips together for another heated kiss and Makoto grinned “Was that a yes?” That got him a roll of Haru’s eyes and he scrambled off him, laughing, then helped him up. They walked to the bathroom still holding hands and when Makoto went to take off his shirt, Haru stopped him.

“No, I want to.” He stepped close, his lips brushing Makoto’s ear and whispered “My wonderful catch.”

Makoto could just let him after that, feeling his eyes grow wet. Haru dropped a kiss on his lips and then slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Makoto expected him to push it off but instead he left it hanging open and brushed both his hands down Makoto’s sides, then up to his nipples, gently brushing them. “Haru…” He couldn’t help himself so he grabbed him by the hair and hauled him up to claim his mouth in a passionate kiss, all tongue and teeth.

“You’re so impatient Makoto.” He could feel Haru’s hands fumble then get rid of his belt and then his jeans’ button was open, and the zipper down, one of Haru’s hands palming him through his briefs and Makoto groaned. “Yes, yes I am.” He grabbed Haru’s hand, slowly removing it even if it pained him, and then quickly got rid of the rest of his clothes. Haru giggled, obviously delighted and Makoto took the chance to help him out of his own. _Sometimes that he’s in training really makes thing easier, no buttons._

He turned the water on, set it on warm and then kissed Haru again before nudging him in. Haru complied, it wasn’t difficult at all to get him anywhere that had water, but Makoto had plans. He kissed Haru’s temple that grabbed both of his hands in his own and slowly put them up on the shower tiles, a little higher than Haru’s head. “Keep them there,” he whispered into Haru’s ear, then tugged on his earlobe. “I’ve wanted to do this ever since that time in the bath. Don’t move.”

Makoto let go of Haru’s hands and they stayed in place. He slowly dragged his own across Haru’s forearms, cupping his elbows then towards those strong shoulders, enjoying the feel of his warm, wet skin. It was exhilarating to be able to touch it like this, explore it. He mouthed the base of Haru’s neck while slowly letting his arms drop down his flanks and take a hold of his hips before lightly nipping at his nape.

He stepped back and just looked. Haru was stretched out in front of him, his legs parted a bit and he had to take a hold of his own cock, and squeeze as the image was so erotic. He had imagined how Haru would look but reality outshone every single one of his fantasies. Unable to hold himself back any longer he wrapped his arms around Haru, bringing them together. Lifting his head, Haru turned to look at Makoto. His eyes were dark, hooded and Makoto felt himself get even harder. He flicked one of Haru’s nipples, earning a moan while he slowly explored his neck. Little sucks and nips and he could feel Haru’s breathing speed up.

His other hand caressed Haru’s stomach before taking his cock in his hand and giving it a gentle pull. Haru’s hips followed and a groan tore out of his throat. Swiping his thumb over the head, he circled it and then slowly started pumping. Haru’s hips were moving with him now, unable to keep still and Makoto dropped his hand to his hip to keep him in place. A mew of protest reached him but he ignored it, keeping up with his strokes and then started moving his own hips, rubbing his cock against Haru’s arse.

A moan tore out of his throat, his eyes almost closing but Makoto forced them open. He wanted to see Haru, to watch him. Haru’s arms were trembling now and Makoto himself was having trouble. He kept pumping slowly while his other hand joined Haru’s on the wall, and their fingers intertwined. Haru craned his neck and they kissed, more presses of lips than anything else, but their pace got faster and Makoto knew they were close. He swiped his thumb over the head of Haru’s cock again, twisting his hand, while he thrust his own hips, one, twice, and Haru shouted as he came, setting off Makoto’s own climax.

He managed to keep himself upright, leaning heavily on the wall, and then Haru slowly turned around. Makoto looked up and Haru caught his lips in a slow kiss, wrapping both his arms around Makoto’s neck. Finally pushing off, he broke their kiss then turned and grabbed a loofa. “Let me.” His voice was rough and low and Haru just nodded so Makoto slowly washed him, taking the opportunity to touch and caress, and then allowed Haru to do the same.

He was completely exhausted by the time they were settled in bed but content and happy.

~~

“No sex.”

Makoto’s grip loosened and he almost dropped his cup, but managed to hold on to it at the last moment.

“What?” He wasn’t sure if he was more shocked at Sousuke’s bluntness or that he wanted them to stop having sex. He assured himself it was just that Sousuke had no tact whatsoever and not the latter.

“Yamazaki?”

“Oh honestly you two. No sex past tomorrow. You can keep it in your pants for a week. I know, young love and all that, but one week won’t kill you. Just to be sure you understand. The meet is being held during the following weekend, you have quite a few races in two days Nanase, and I do not want anything to affect your performance.”

Haru had a mulish look on his face and Makoto felt better for his own train of thought. He knew though that Sousuke was probably right and gave Haru’s hand a squeeze.

“Fine.” Haru eyed the food and reluctantly picked up his dish. He had a meat thing that he obviously wasn’t too enthusiastic about but Sousuke had insisted. Makoto had gone for a swim that day and then waited for the other two to finish up their session. It hadn’t been as demanding as some he’d observed before so he’d walked over to Sousuke to ask him about it. “He can’t overdo now. Push too far and it’d all go badly.” Makoto had nodded and then spent the remainder of the time watching Haru cut through water, still one of the most beautiful sights he’d ever seen in his life.

He doubted that would ever change. Makoto remembered clearly what had passed through his head then. _We will be seventy year old men and Haru swimming will still be a sight to behold for me._ He had balked then, thinking himself silly, imagining them still together after all those years, but looking at the man next to him, frowning into his meat, he had to wonder just how silly it truly was.

They’d gone to the restaurant then, to have dinner and relax and Sousuke had insisted on ordering for Haru too. He complained but he listened to him. They were a good match, and he hoped that after this meet they could continue working together, somehow. Makoto was certain Haru had thought of it but they hadn’t spoken about any possible solutions.

“Tachibana. If you can tear your eyes away from your boyfriend for two seconds, it would be much appreciated.”

Makoto could feel himself blushing and cleared his throat. “I got lost in thought Sousuke, I’m sorry.”

Sousuke just smirked at him “I’m sure. Anyway, as I was saying, are you two up for another group chat with Rin? I was thinking Saturday or Sunday?”

“Ah,” Haru interrupted, “we can’t do Sunday but Saturday afternoon is fine for me. Makoto?”

Makoto frowned but nodded “Yes, Saturday afternoon is fine. I am finishing up that group project but we are almost done so it is just going to be a short thing. Who’s going to email Rin?

“Oh I already talked to him yesterday, he said either day is good for him, I’ll just tell him to wait for us around five our time.” Sousuke played it cool but Makoto could tell he was happy to be back in regular contact with Rin now. “Anyway, are you sure your friend is coming Nanase?”

It was then that Hamasaki appeared. “I am sorry, please excuse me. But Nagisa insisted on coming and meeting you as well.” And he apologetically shrugged, smiling. Makoto laughed and waved him off, and indeed, there she was, smiling at them. He greatly enjoyed the time he spent with her earlier and he was certain Haru quite liked her too. They made the introductions and placed their orders as well.

“Nanase says you are interested in forming a relay?”

Hamasaki nodded. “I am, even if my sister thinks I’m crazy but I think it takes more than just a hasty gathering of the best individual swimmers to make for a good relay. We need to practice and trust each other. Tachibana suggested their friend Rin for butterfly but even if that works out, we have no backstroke guy.”

Sousuke looked at Haru, who was ignoring it all, and Makoto smirked “Haru said he’d think it over, if they could find a good fourth man.”

“Hmm.” Sousuke scratched his chin. “Well, we’ll see. Rin isn’t coming back to Japan before April anyway. And you both need to secure your places on your own team first, never mind win Nationals.” Nagisa leaned in and nodded “It’s what I keep saying.”

“Of course,” Sousuke continued, “I am sure both Nanase and Rin will do it easily.” Nanase groaned and Makoto tried not to laugh. She must have been thinking lunacy was contagious by now. “You’re ready for the meet Hamasaki?”

“Yes, I think it’s going to be fine. My coach is in good spirits too, so that’s boosting my confidence as well. We’ve worked hard, for years, for this.” Then he frowned as he just realized something and looked at Sousuke. “But you know Matsuoka too? How do you all know each other?”

Haru finally joined the conversation, nodding “We all swam together, in one combination or another. We met as children and then last year, we swam against each other in relays, Yamazaki and Rin on one team, and Makoto and I on the other one.”

“Oh, you used to swim too Yamazaki?” Nagisa asked “So you’re like Makoto, preferring to coach?”

Makoto cast a quick glance at Haru, but he was looking straight at Sousuke. They had forgotten to warn the Hamasaki duo about this. Sousuke was much better these days but it was different when strangers suddenly opened up a wound.

“Got injured. Busted my shoulder. I used to swim butterfly too, that relay was my last competitive swim.”

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to open up painful wounds.” Nagisa started apologizing and Makoto could see how badly she felt about it but Sousuke stopped her. “No, it’s all right. I have found a new dream now, I truly enjoy coaching. A part of me is always going to regret this happened but I can still swim and through coaching, I can help others achieve their dreams. I should thank Nanase for that.”

Haru shook his head “It was all your own doing Yamazaki, no thanks necessary. You would have gotten there without me.”

“If you hadn’t pointed the way, it would have taken a lot longer! But if anyone had told me a year ago that I would be coaching Nanase here, I would not have believed it. Life is so strange!”

They laughed and Hamasaki piped up “Rivalry?”

“You have no idea” said Makoto, and lifted his hand “better not to ask Hamasaki. It is a very long story.”

“I really want to know though!” Hamasaki was practically vibrating in his chair. “This sounds so fascinating! I mean what were the odds?” Makoto gave him a quizzical look and he pointed to all of them. “What were the odds? That you would all meet in one small place, that you would all be so talented and that you would continue with it, and that one day you would all be in Tokyo, together, two of you going for the Olympics, with one coaching you Nanase. I mean Tachibana here is also still in coaching, even if not adults, so it counts as well. And then there’s apparently an interesting story to boot!”

“You know, he’s right. I cannot believe I’m saying that,” Nagisa smirked, “but he’s right. I wouldn’t mind hearing this myself.”

Makoto looked at Haru and he had a bemused expression on his face. Yamazaki was sighing but actually Hamasaki had a point. It really was an interesting thing, when looked from the outside. They were just used to it all, that the peculiarity of it didn’t even occur to them.

“You know,” Haru waved his hand, “you’re not wrong. But this is not just our story to tell. I have an idea, when Rin gets here, ask us again.” Makoto laughed and nodded his head, and Sousuke was grinning too. “We are going to need alcohol for that one though, so after Nationals. Also probably better we do it at your place Nanase. Also please don’t let Rin tell it.” They laughed and Hamasaki raised his eyebrows at them. Makoto just shrugged. “You’ll see. If you’re still interested, ask us then.”

“Oh Makoto.” Nagisa drew his attention, while the other three continued to talk about the meet that was coming up in a bit more than a week. “I was wondering if you are going to apply to Ryuujin summer swimming program.”

“Eh?”

“Thought you wouldn’t know as Nanase is still new to the club, plus he’s had all these issues. They open a school for children during the summer, though they have special criteria over child selection. Nanase told us you already have some work experience?” Makoto nodded, intrigued by the idea. “They hire coaches from students at the University, you should apply. It’s a highly valued internship and I know you’ll need that for credits.”

“I will, yes. To be honest, I had just thought I’d go back to Iwatobi and do more with my old club, that’s where I helped before.”

Nagisa was shaking her head at him. “No offence, but I am sure it cannot compare. Of course, I don’t know if you’d get it, you need good grades, how are you there?”

“Ah,” Makoto rubbed the back of his neck, “well enough.” Haru suddenly leaned over “He’s at the top of his class,” then returned to his conversation, leaving Makoto blinking at his back. He didn’t think Haru was paying them any mind. “Ha! Well enough. You shouldn’t be so modest. Make sure to keep those up and you have a real shot. Your University is one of the highest ranked in the country. Think about it. There’s no rush, applications aren’t due in months but it’d be a great opportunity.”

“Thank you so much for thinking of me!”

“It’s nothing. I wanted to call Nanase and tell him about it but Akira told me he was meeting you guys, so I tagged along. Plus I get free food.” She grinned at him, and snagged some sushi.

“Did you think more of your specialization?” He was genuinely curious, especially as it seemed like she was moving in a direction that would be a sort of a parallel to his.

“Paediatric sports medicine,” she smiled again, “I have been gathering information ever since that night and I think I’ve finally found exactly what I was looking for. It is going to cover both of my wishes. It also sounds quite challenging in its own way, so I am really excited!” Her smile was infectious and he laughed, “I just hope my future charges don’t have much need for you!” Nagisa laughed at that and slapped him lightly “I’d almost think you didn’t like me!”

Makoto looked around and felt strangely happy _. Some faces may be missing and I hope we see them soon but yes, this life we’re building is turning out well._ He glanced at Haru took his hand. He got an answering squeeze and relaxed. _Quite well._

~~

Makoto was making tea and listening to the sounds from the living room. There was a soft padding of feet, Haru obviously moving around there.

He had wanted to come straight from the lectures but Haru had made him promise to treat this day as any other. So he had concentrated on his studies, and even if Matsushita had had to give him a poke once or twice during lunch, and repeat a question or two, Makoto thought he had done well enough. He had avoided going into it when they had asked about his absent-mindedness and had just said he was feeling a little bit tired. Too anxious to go explaining that the meet was happening the day after, he stuck to that line. He had also wondered if they would have thought it too strange that he was that involved in a friend’s competition. Best friend as far as they knew, true, but still. He hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to any of them yet, especially as they seemed to spend more time with Sousuke and the Hamasaki siblings these days whenever they did go out.

Library had been his stop after the classes and he had put it to good use. It had turned out to be quite restful, concentrating on familiar and new words, getting lost in his own world. Time had flown.

He’d returned to Haru’s apartment then to find him already there. Their dinner had been laid out and they ate it without much talk. Makoto had tried but Haru had been quiet, even for him, so he let the talk die down, and had just watched him. The dishes had been cleared when Makoto had gotten up and said he was going to make them tea.

Which is how he found himself pouring the hot water over the leaves, seeking comfort in a now familiar thing for them. He took the tea set into the living room only to see Haru standing near the flower he brought him, still in the same place, on the window sill. Haru had been taking good care of it so it was in full health. Makoto smiled, feeling happy.

“Tea’s ready,” he called softly and Haru turned. He jerked his chin towards the couch “Can we sit there?”

Makoto surely wasn’t going to deny him that, especially on that day, so he just nodded and took their cups to the little table next to it. He had just seated himself, when Haru walked over and stood looking at him. He raised his eyebrow, unsure if something was wrong but then Haru just folded himself sideways onto Makoto’s lap, one arm embracing his waist, the other on his chest, clutching to Makoto's shirt, his head tucked into the crook of Makoto’s neck.

His arms moved on their own, around Haru, pulling him close. He kissed Haru’s hair, and just held him.

_I want to be his shelter in the storm, as he is mine._

_I want to be the one he comes to when he needs comfort._

He rested his cheek on Haru’s head.

_I am so glad that I am._

They sat quietly and eventually had their slightly cool tea. Makoto was threading his fingers through Haru’s hair, when Haru raised his head and looked at him.

“I watered our flower.”

He smiled helplessly at Haru and brought their lips together.

That night while he laid curled around Haru, his arm embraced by Haru’s, listening to Haru’s breaths, Makoto could only look into the night, and repeat it to himself.

_I am so glad that I am the one._

~~

“I feel sick.”

“Honestly Tachibana, one would think you’re competing and not Nanase.” Sousuke shook his head but Makoto could see that he kept wiping his hands on his jeans. He was not as calm as he was pretending, it was easy to spot. How could he be anyway? Sousuke had spent a lot of time working with Haru, he was his true coach and this mattered to all of them. Makoto didn’t even dare imagine how Haru was feeling just then. Sousuke waved his hand towards the pool “Do you have any idea how hard he trained? He is going to be fine. I did not waste my time.” Makoto wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince and encourage with those words, Makoto, or himself and decided it was probably a little bit of both.

They were sitting at the stands looking over the big pool where the Ryuujin team meet was being held. Makoto glanced around, trying to keep himself busy somehow and noticed that they were almost full. It was obvious friends and family had turned out for support and he was glad that he was there for Haru, even if it was just him and Sousuke. Haru’s mother had actually called that morning, to wish him good luck and to get a promise out of Makoto to call as soon as he could. Apparently she found him more reliable than Haru for these matters. Makoto felt warm, knowing she accepted them like this.

Of course there was Nagisa too, sitting right next to him, but she was uncharacteristically quiet and Makoto knew this must be nerve wrecking for her too, with her brother swimming. He patted her hand and she smiled at him. “It will be all right.” Her boyfriend had a big university thing and couldn’t attend so she was all alone with them.

Makoto truly believed it would turn out well too, he was just a bit nervous. Of course that this was where everything had been leading. He looked around again and realized that this was the true beginning for Haru. His Olympic dream was going to start there.

“This is it, isn’t it Sousuke? This is how his Olympic journey begins.”

Sousuke looked at him, then at the pool “I think Tachibana, that for some people like Nanase, it began when they first touched the water. This, this may be the official start but he took that first step long, long ago. It was simply inevitable.”

Makoto was startled by the admission and he frowned. It was true though, wasn’t it? Just how many times had they all thought it? That Haru’s swimming was something special, something different? How many times had people simply assumed he would go pro because anything else with a talent like that had been unthinkable.

_He was born to do this._

~~

“Nanase.”

Haru glanced up from his locker, he was just putting away his things, and his eyes landed on Hamasaki.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Ready?” He asked, as Hamasaki looked a bit nervous to him.

“I think so.”

Haru shook his head at him. “No, you know so Hamasaki.”

“Yes, you’re right. I am ready.”

“Good. So am I.”

“So confident Nanase?” Came from behind him, and there stood Kobayashi Iwao. Haru tilted his head _._ The man who had influenced the last few months of his life, by that one action he took, stood there, his face grim, fisted hands on his hips and suddenly Haru saw him for what he was, just a man, nothing more. _I don’t actually care what this man thinks._ Haru thought about that part of himself that would feel glad to show just how good he is to his ex-coach and acknowledged that yes, it was still there. But that feeling didn’t influence what he did, how he acted. It didn’t guide his choices.

_I care what Makoto thinks, what Rin thinks, what Sousuke thinks but I don’t care about this man._

“Yes.” He turned his back then and resumed putting his things in order before closing it, not paying any attention to the retreating footsteps. Hamasaki was still standing there, looking at him with slightly parted lips. “Nanase, I really like you.”

Haru smirked “I’m taken.”

They stared at each other before Hamasaki started laughing and Haru had to smile.

“Ah I needed that.” Hamasaki slapped his back “Time to show them all who’s the best here, ah?” and with that he walked off, a spring in his step, his first race being held prior to Haru’s.

Haru watched him go, then turned towards his locker, breathing deeply. He tuned out all the other swimmers around him, and cleared his mind of all other thoughts but the race.

_It’s as it has always been. Water and Haru. There’s no winning, there’s no losing._

_There’s just that one perfect swim._

At some point in time, he heard the free discipline being called in the distance and he moved with the others. He felt like he was under water, everything seemed slow and silent.

Up on the start block, the water already singing for him. He had to restrain himself from diving, his fingers twitching. Breathing deeply, eyes ahead.

_Almost, almost._

The loud buzz of the start.

_I’m back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not forgetting about Makoto's career as you can see, they will both progress, parallel to each other. Next swim time, the first meet! :)  
> KyoAni owns them, I just play with them.


	11. Chapter 11

#  Chapter 11

 

“That’s the guy who won both the 50m and 100m races. He’s in the 200m too?”

The question came from several sides and Makoto grinned at Sousuke who was smiling as well. The tension had slowly ebbed away as the days progressed and now they were looking forward to the final race for Haru.

The shortest one had been nerve wrecking for Makoto. It had been close and Sousuke had obviously been holding his breath the entire time because when Haru had reached the wall and the scoreboard had shown him in the first place, there had been an explosive exhale from Makoto’s left. Makoto was quite sure he didn’t remember a single thing about that race, except for the moment when that number one had flashed next to Haru’s name.

Sousuke had slapped his back then and nodded “We’re fine now. Relax Tachibana.” He’d reclined in his seat, listening to the murmurs surrounding them and had softly sniggered at the predictions that it had been an accident and that things would settle down in longer races.

That had stopped by the time 100m was done and Haru came first again, this time with a good lead over the second placed swimmer. It had become obvious that the first victory was no fluke and that Ryuujin had a new free star. The time had been excellent too, more than enough to qualify for Nationals, but Sousuke had whispered to him that it was not close to what he knew was Haru’s potential. Makoto had goggled at him because that was a pretty bold claim but Sousuke just shook his head and said “Just wait. One day you are going to look up at a scoreboard and remember.”

Nagisa was tugging at his arm, in much better spirits now that Hamasaki had won in two of his disciplines, and yes, the swimmers were filing out. Makoto could see Haru, his face as it was for the previous races, completely calm, focused. He seemed almost absent and Makoto wondered which ocean bed he was walking on just then.

“I am telling you, I was at the high school Nationals, and he wasn’t there!”

“Well, Mizushima-san had to have found him somewhere.”

“It is Mizushima-san.” The group sitting behind them murmured their agreements. Makoto glanced at Sousuke who seemed to be suppressing laughter at that point. He leaned towards Makoto and smirked, then said in a louder voice “Now watch him destroy this field.” Makoto could only nod and smile widely. The group behind them broke into whispers, some excited some incredulous, but at that moment, the swimmers took their places and soon the buzzer went off.

It took less than two minutes.

Sousuke cheered and Makoto and Nagisa joined him. Makoto looked at him and gave him a one armed hug, whispering “Thank you Sousuke.” He got a nod in return and grinned. He had been right too, Haru had been superior. “He can do the 400m Makoto too, just watch him. He can.” He whooped and returned Makoto’s hug. Nagisa was cheering like crazy on his right and Makoto thought it was a brilliant day.

“All right, just who is that kid?”

Makoto couldn't resist so he turned towards the voice and sent them a brilliant smile.

“Nanase Haruka.”

~~

“Nanase Haruka.”

Haru turned and then quickly bowed upon seeing who the voice belonged to. He hadn’t seen Mizushima Daisuke since that summer except in passing but somehow he didn’t feel particularly surprised that he was there now, after the events of the day.

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you Mizushima-san.”

His lips twitching, Mizushima-san paused before nodding. “I would like to see you in my office please, as soon as you get cleaned up here.” At that he turned and left, leaving Haru looking after his retreating form. He took a deep breath, then shrugged. It was pretty much what he had expected.

Rubbing his face, he went to take a shower. He was tired and ready to go home, and have some tea with Makoto. Haru knew though it wasn’t going to be so easy. It was better to simply get this over with as quickly as possible, so he hurried and was throwing on his clothes not ten minutes later. Firing off a text to Makoto to wait for him, that he was being called into the office, he turned to leave, only to be stopped by Hamasaki.

“Nanase! That was incredible. Congratulations!”

“Thank you Hamasaki. I take it you were ready indeed. Congratulations to you too.”

“Ha! Yes, thank you. You in a hurry?”

“I’m being summoned.”

“Oh.” Hamasaki stuttered, “Well, Nagisa is with Tachibana and Yamazaki, so I’ll go join them. We’ll wait for you in the hall, all right?”

“Yes, that would be great, thank you. I’ll see you soon.”

“Good luck!” Hamasaki waved him off and Haru hurried to the main offices.

A rather formidable looking woman greeted him then waved him through, saying he was expected so he knocked, before entering the office. Mizushima-san was seated behind a massive desk, talking on the phone so just motioned him in. Haru remained standing and just as the call ended, another person joined them. He barely suppressed a sigh as it was of course Kobayashi Iwao.

“Nanase. Well, I suppose I could take him back Mizushima-san. We can try this again.” Kobayashi was saying and Haru just shook his head.

“No.”

“What?”

He was about to repeat it when Mizushima-san stood up “He has shown that he is right for our team Kobayashi, which is what you have asked of him and as per our agreement. I think though that I’d like a word with his current coach. Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it all.”

“Don’t tell me you mean to leave him with Nakamura!” Kobayashi protested but Mizushima-san was gently ushering him out. “Ah no, Nakamura is not Nanase’s coach, don’t you know? Don’t worry now, I’ll take care of it.” He escorted him out before turning towards Haru, who was having trouble masking his surprise. Mizushima-san laughed, shaking his head.

“Ah, Nanase, you didn’t think I just leave my swimmers to fend for themselves? Or that Nakamura-san would have just ignored you during practices? He may have to handle the group that is in lower form but he would never have just left you on your own.” He walked back to his chair and smiled at Haru. “When Iwao told me what happened, I decided to wait and see what you would do. I saw you give up that day during the Regionals race just as I saw you swim that relay. I’ve watched your practices and you were improving on a weekly basis. The gym coach kept me in the loop on what you requested and the requests were reasonable and followed your progress. I saw you were in it to win Nanase, and that I had to be certain about. You were doing more than fine, so I decided not to interrupt and wait for this moment.”

Haru looked down and cleared his throat, unsure what to say but a part of him relaxed at those words. While they had caught him off guard, it was also comforting to know that there had been someone who had been keeping an eye on him all this time. Maybe, just maybe, this could become his new swimming home after all.

“All right, where is he? Or is it she?”

“Eh?”

“Your coach Nanase. You are obviously working with someone.”

“Ah. Yes, Yamazaki Sousuke. He’s in the entrance hall, waiting for me with friends.”

“You can go get him, this needs to be settled.”

“Hamasaki Akira is with him, if you don’t mind, I can call him?” Haru asked, remembering their agreement and did just so, after receiving permission.

“Hamasaki is a good friend to have.” Mizushima-san had a thoughtful look on his face and Haru barely restrained himself from sighing. He knew that one quite well and he really didn’t think he could stand another relay talk just then. He was anxious enough to see what was going to happen to Sousuke and his coaching situation. Luckily it didn’t take long for Hamasaki to lead him there and the assistant soon showed a surprised Sousuke in. Haru made the introductions, keeping an eye on him but it was obvious Sousuke did not expect to find himself in that position.

“Sit down you two.” They complied and Mizushima-san looked between them. “You are not much older than Nanase here. How did this happen?” Sousuke explained quickly, and he started laughing, shaking his head. “All right, now about your new coach.”

“I am staying with Yamazaki.”

“Nanase!” came from his left but Haru shook his head. He had been thinking about it for a while now, ever since that night, when the topic first got brought up and the simple fact was that he trusted Sousuke. They functioned as a team. “You can’t just refuse!” Haru turned towards him and scoffed “I very well can!” They argued over each other for a few minutes until a loud bark of laughter interrupted them. Haru felt himself flush as in the moment he had forgotten they were not alone.

“You two are something. Yamazaki here is too inexperienced to take you to the Olympics Nanase. He’s done an amazing job so far, but coaching is something he needs to learn a lot more about, before he can take this responsibility on his own.” Haru opened his mouth but Mizushima-san raised his hand.

“Please hear me out. I hadn’t expected this when I realized someone else was coaching you, I expected an older person but this will work out nicely.” He got up, walked around his desk and leaned on it, facing them both. Haru grumbled to himself that inexperienced or not, he wanted Sousuke. It’s not like an experienced coach had done him any good after all.

“I am going to take over your training Nanase. Yamazaki here is going to be assisting me. You are serious about coaching are you not?” He addressed Sousuke who looked shell-shocked but managed to nod anyway. “Good. You are enrolling into University come the next academic year. You will be handling Nanase only until you graduate but if it all works out, and I do think it will, you’ll come work for me full time, here at Ryuujin. I appreciate talent Yamazaki, and working with Nanase is not easy. The most talented ones can be the most difficult ones, and flexibility is a must, something unfortunately some people do not have.” He clapped his hands together and smiled. “Are we agreed?”

Haru looked at Sousuke, who was silent. Realizing he was too shocked, he slapped him on the arm, hissing “Sousuke!” He wasn’t sure what snapped him out of it, his name or the slap, but Yamazaki nodded “Yes, yes we are.” Haru actually grinned at that, feeling relieved. “We are.”

“Good! Now, Monday, first thing, I want to see everything on Nanase here. We’ll be working from that. Nanase, keep to your current schedule until we work it out, shouldn’t be more than a few days. Off you go.” They got up, Sousuke thanking Mizushima-san several times and then they filed out.

“Nanase.” Haru turned at the door and saw his new coach smirking.

“I hope you’re ready little dolphin. The Olympics are waiting for you.” With that he shooed him out, and Haru followed a dazed Sousuke, making sure he missed a few walls on the way, before they reached the hall and an obviously anxious trio.

“Haru!” Makoto hugged him fiercely and Haru held onto him. “What happened?”

“Yes, come on man, Akira didn’t manage to hear a thing!” Nagisa was almost jumping in place by then.

“I got a job,” answered her a still dazed Sousuke.

“What?!” came from the other three, in a chorus and Haru just laughed, still hugging Makoto.

~~

“I don’t understand any of this.”

They were seated at what they called their restaurant by then and Nagisa just looked at Haru and Sousuke, who had moved on to goofily grinning and shook her head.

“I want to call Rin.” Sousuke suddenly said and Nagisa waved her finger at him “You need to explain first how this happened. Wait, isn’t Rin in Australia anyway?”

“Yes, and?” Haru snickered at Sousuke’s blithe answer and Makoto poked him.

“Are you going to explain what happened to Rin?” Nagisa asked, her eyes narrowed.

“Yes, it’s why I want to call him.” Sousuke answered slowly as if not understanding how she could even ask such a question but she just crowed at him.

“Aha! Here!” She bent and then picked up her bag, fishing out her laptop. “You are going to use Skype and explain it to him, and thus, to me, Makoto and poor Akira here.” Her brother just nodded and it was obvious he wanted more of an explanation too because the repeated statements of a new job and a silent though smiling Haru weren’t really cutting it for him either.

“It’s late enough, he should be at home by now,” Makoto was scrolling down the schedule Rin had emailed them, “Go on Sousuke.” Haru just nodded and laid his head on Makoto’s shoulder. He was tired, more than just physically, but he was also happy. Makoto’s hand came to rest on his head and caressed his hair. It worked like magic, like it always did and soon he relaxed. “Come on Yamazaki, you know you want to plus it’ll be fun.”

They placed the computer at the head of the table, so that they could all see, but they allowed Sousuke to be directly across from it. He made the call, and it rang for long enough, that Haru was afraid that Rin had gone out after all but then Rin’s face popped up on screen.

“Ha?” He was obviously taken aback by the five faces looking at him.

“Finally, so this is Rin. Are those shark teeth? You need to get here as soon as possible, I have got to hear this story. I mean what is in the water over there in Iwatobi?!” Nagisa was babbling in rapid fire and Hamasaki finally clapped a hand over her mouth. “Ah, yes, please excuse my sister, we’re just excited!”

“I’ve got a job.” Sousuke grinned goofily at Rin and Haru had to tuck his head into the crook of Makoto’s neck so that his sniggering wouldn’t be noticed. Of course, Makoto tugged at his hair a bit and he waved him off, whispering a soft “Later,” before he waved at Rin.

“Hey Rin.” Makoto sketched a little wave too and pointed at Haru “He won! All races too and he's got the times to qualify for Nationals!”

Rin cheered and grinned, showing off more of his teeth, which got Nagisa trying to wrestle out of Hamasaki’s grip. “Wait, a job? What happened?”

Makoto pointed at the siblings and introduced them all. “As to what happened, we’re still waiting to get that out of Haru and Sousuke here.” Haru just pointed at Sousuke and shrugged “He’ll tell it, I’m too tired.”

So Sousuke finally told the story, glossing over their argument because that was embarrassing and the others oohed and aahed at them. “So that’s it. I mean I had decided to enrol next year anyway, working with Nanase just showed me what I wanted. It seemed obvious his training would be taken over by someone, even if he refused, the idiot,” and Haru decided he must be even more tired than he thought because that was a fond look Sousuke just threw his way, “but then the rest happened. I don’t know what to think!”

“Toast!” Rin was grinning from ear to ear, “Be right back!” He disappeared from their screens only to be back with a glass of juice later. “Toast! To Haru and Sousuke!”

“To Haru and Sousuke!”

They clinked their glasses and cheered, Rin raising his.

Haru waved to settle them down. “Ah but I am not the only person who won. To Hamasaki here!”

“To Hamasaki!” they cheered again.

“What do you swim Hamasaki?” Rin was asking and Haru smiled “Breaststroke, he’s your future team-mate Rin.”

“Eh?”

Nagisa groaned and her head hit the table. Haru snickered and Hamasaki cheerfully waved at Rin again. “We’re swimming relay together in the Olympics, with Nanase here of course.”

“Who’s fourth?” came from Rin and Nagisa pretended to sob.

Everyone laughed. Haru looked up at Makoto who was laughing that deep belly laugh and nodded to himself. It had been a good day indeed.

~~

“I am so tired.”

Makoto looked fondly at Haru who had taken off his shoes then made a beeline for the living room couch. He flopped down on it, head first, and sighed. It was understandable, the races, the nerves, even the small party they had, it must have been quite exhausting, Makoto thought. He removed his own outwear then helped Haru with his own jacket. “Sleep?”

“Ah, no. I just rushed through the shower because I got summoned to the office. I really need a proper one at least,” Haru mumbled into the pillow, “but I am not sure I can stand up.”

“Oh!” Makoto bent and kissed his temple. “Wait here, I’ll be right back, I have the solution.”

He padded into the bedroom, rummaged quickly in the closet and grabbed their sleep clothes, smiling to himself when he realized just how many of his things now resided there, even if it has been just more than a month. _I think I spend more time here these days than my own apartment. Most of my books are here too._ He huffed and then walked into the bathroom, and got around to filling up the tub. Once done, he turned off the light and checked that the bedroom one made it visible enough if they left the door open, and then walked back to the living room.

Haru’s eyes were closed and his breaths steady, so he crouched and threaded his fingers through his hair. “Asleep?”

“Yes?” another mumble and Makoto softly laughed. “No, you’re not. Come on, up you go.”

Haru dragged himself up and Makoto steered him to the bathroom. “Oh!” he turned towards Makoto and brought their lips together in thanks. He started taking off his clothes, without another word and by the time he was done, Makoto was naked as well.

“Let me get in first Haru,” and he carefully slid into the bathtub with Haru watching him, eyes sparkling, then once he was seated, Haru joined him as well, settling between Makoto’s legs, and resting on his chest. “Ooh, this was such a wonderful idea Makoto.”

“We need bath salts or maybe oil.” Makoto mused to himself, and Haru just hummed inquisitively. He seemed truly tired and the warm water seemed to be relaxing him into a doze. “Bath oils, they’re good for the muscles plus they smell quite nice.” He got another hum as an answer so took it as a yes, deciding to go shopping soon. If Haru said anything, well he had asked him.

That got him moving though and he reached to get the shampoo he’d left near the tub. “Move up a bit Haru.” He popped it open but Haru just snuggled further and Makoto sighed. He put the bottle down, embraced Haru’s waist with one hand and then hoisted them both a bit higher up. “Makoto.” Haru grumbled but didn’t resist. “We need to wash your hair, tilt your head down.” Haru complied and Makoto poured a dollop of shampoo on his hand, then gently massaged it into Haru’s scalp.

Makoto was happy to hear Haru’s hums as he washed his hair slowly, he was obviously enjoying it but so was Makoto _. I wonder if we could make joint baths into a tradition too. It is water after all, I am sure Haru won’t mind._ He helped Haru tilt his head back, then careful of his eyes, washed the suds out.

He almost startled when Haru turned in their embrace and held out his hand, palm up. “Haru?”

“Shampoo please, we need to wash yours too.”

Makoto smiled, then obligingly tilted his head down so Haru could reach. He understood why Haru had seemed to enjoy it so, it was wonderful to feel those fingers massage his scalp gently, lightly tugging on his hair occasionally. “This is really nice.” It got him another hum out of Haru who seemed to be concentrating on his task, then moved on to rinsing off Makoto’s hair. He had to help him a bit there but they were soon done and Makoto brought their lips together for a kiss before Haru resumed his previous position, resting his back against Makoto.

“Next?” he asked and Haru nodded, so Makoto grabbed the loofa and the shower gel and got to washing Haru’s back and chest. A few soft moans drifted to his ears but he just continued his ministrations until he handed it off to Haru who quickly took care of the rest before turning again in Makoto’s embrace and encouraging him to move. Makoto realized what he was trying to do so steadied him at the waist until Haru finally straddled him, the water slushing about from their movements.

He didn’t get to say anything as Haru slanted their lips together and his tongue darted forward, asking for entrance which Makoto was more than happy to give. They explored each other mouths, the sounds of their kissing sounding especially erotic to Makoto, in the dimly lit bathroom and he finally moved back a bit before pushing Haru’s hair off his face.

“I thought you were tired.”

“Hmm, I am,” another press of lips, and Haru brought his hand down, cupping both of their erections together, and making Makoto groan. He couldn’t help himself then and he kissed Haru again.

As Haru slowly moved his hand, they kissed and Makoto wondered how different it could all be. It was not the all consuming passion of their previous unions but rather a slow, steady, almost comfortable build up. He was close to coming, his breaths ragged when Haru peppered his neck with kisses and then sucked on that sensitive spot. That was all it took to send him over the edge and he saw Haru watching him, eyes hooded before he reached his peak too.

It took them a while to catch their breaths, a few more lazy kisses and then they emptied the tub, rinsed themselves off and got dressed. It wasn’t particularly late but Makoto sensed he was done in. He laid on his back on the bed and sighed, when suddenly Haru flopped down on top of him, covering him and huffed.

“My arms and legs are like noodles.”

Makoto looked at him and the small pout gracing Haru’s face had him laughing. He shook his head and then rearranged them nicely, so that Haru rested between his legs, and covered them with a blanket. They dozed for a few minutes and Makoto gently rubbed Haru’s back.

“You were so magnificent today Haru. So many people were wondering who the new free star was.”

“They could see my name on the scoreboard.”

 _Such a typical Haru answer_ , Makoto chuckled. “Yes, but they don’t know yet the meaning of it.”

“Eh?”

“They do not yet understand what it means that Nanase Haruka is participating in a race. Though I think today gave them a nice introduction. Sousuke even bragged about you.”

“The world is going to end tonight.” Haru mumbled into his shirt, making Makoto poke him lightly. “I think he’s honestly proud of what you’ve achieved together. I’m so glad he got this chance to continue with you.” Haru nodded before raising his head to look at Makoto. “So am I. I was truly ready to even walk away with him, but this is an incredible opportunity. It’s going to work out for us both I think.”

Just as he was about to continue, Makoto suddenly remembered “Oh Haru! We didn’t call your mother!” He patted the nightstand for his phone. “I did send her a text, so hopefully she’s not too upset. It’s not that late, come on, move.”

“What?”

“I can’t call her like this!”

Haru was looking at him with a frown on his face and Makoto waved at the bed. “Look where we are, we’re in bed together. We just…” he paused and Haru smiled and finished the sentence for him “Made love.”

“Well, yes.” He blushed but moved to kiss Haru anyway. It sounded wonderful to hear it that way, even if he was too embarrassed to say it himself. He cleared his throat “You want me to call her like this?”

“Why not? We’re just relaxing, dial Makoto.”

Grumbling, “This is so strange,” he did anyway and the phone didn’t ring more than a couple of times before Haru’s mother was answering. “Ah, Makoto, always reliable! Hello!”

“Hello Nanase-san, let me put you on speakerphone, Haru is right here too.” He fumbled a bit but got it done and they exchanged the usual pleasantries before she impatiently interrupted. “So how was it? Makoto just said you won all of them Haru! That’s wonderful, congratulations son!” She sounded excited and happy for him, and Makoto could see Haru blushing in the dim light.

“Ah, yes, it went well enough,” Haru said, making Makoto snort on the well enough, his inner Nagisa voice making him interrupt. “Well enough, he’s too modest. He was incredible Nanase-san and his coach says this is just the start of it all.”

“I’m so glad to hear that Haru and such nice words from your coach.”

“That also got a bit altered, Mizushima Daisuke, the club owner is going to be coaching him now, with his current coach still helping. It’s been a wonderful day Nanase-san.”

“Makoto!” Haru groaned and his mother laughed. “If Makoto didn’t tell me these things, I’d know nothing about it at all Haruka so pipe down. I’m most grateful to him. This is wonderful, I’m really proud of you son. Are you boys resting now?”

“Yes, we’re in bed already.” Haru answered and Makoto slapped his own forehead. “Haru! Stop blurting out these things!” He could feel his own cheeks were on fire but Haru’s mother just laughed. _Haru has her laugh_ , he realized before focusing on her words.

“Oh Makoto, honestly, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s only natural. I am not that old that I don’t remember young love.” Makoto could feel his own throat painfully tighten at her easy acceptance of them. He feared what his own future held, with his family but decided to put it away for now. There was no need to taint this precious gift of acceptance. “Thank you Nanase-san,” he managed to say. Haru gently caressed his cheek, calming him.

“Ah, nothing to thank me for. I do hope we’ll see each other soon, I think I’ll be coming to Tokyo in a couple of weeks. You owe me dinner of course.”

Makoto laughed, his sombre mood gone with her gentle teasing, “I do believe that is correct. Haru and I need to find a nice restaurant.”

“Or you could cook for me,” Haru’s mother suggested which caused Haru to snort “We do not want Makoto burning down our apartment mother.” Makoto noticed the “our apartment” in that sentence and how easily Haru spoke of it. It wasn’t the first time either and now that he thought about it, Makoto was guilty of that too. But Haru was continuing, so he decided that was yet another thing to think about later. “But I could cook, yes, that’s a nice idea. Makoto can make tea.”

“I brew excellent tea.” He joked but Haru just nodded “He does.”

“I’ll let you rest now, I’ll email with the details so that you know to arrange my feast. Good night Makoto, Haru.”

They wished her good night and Makoto hung up, then put the phone back on the night stand. Haru snuggled back into his chest, and he could almost feel him smile.

“She’s really trying Haru.”

“She is. I am almost certain father doesn’t approve but she is.”

Makoto paused then touched Haru’s shoulder. “Has something happened?” He could feel Haru shrug and chose to wait it out. Sometimes it took a while before Haru found the words. “The way she said she’d handle it, when I told her. He hasn’t called after and you notice it is just her talking about my swimming and asking about it. It was the one thing he always asked about, whenever we talked before. I think she knew and took it upon herself to talk to him, to spare me.” Haru reached out and Makoto took his hand, intertwining their fingers. “I wonder if I shouldn’t have let her take the brunt of it, maybe I should have talked to him after all.”

Lifting their joined hands, Makoto lightly kissed Haru’s fingers. “She is your mother. She wanted to protect you. I think you should allow her this choice. Give it time.”

Haru just nodded. “I am glad she is supporting us.”

“So am I. And we are lucky with our friends too.” Makoto smiled, thinking of everyone from tonight’s little party, vowing to talk to Matsushita as soon as possible. “I think it’s going to be all right with Matsushita too.”

“Yes, he truly is your friend Makoto,” Haru paused and then smirked “Can you imagine when we get them all together, when Rin finally arrives as well? It should be fun.”

“Don’t forget Koizumi too. She’s been the first to accept me.” Haru huffed at this and Makoto looked at him “Haru?”

“She likes you.”

“Haru! There’s no need to be jealous. She knows I only look at her as a friend and she accepts it.”

“So she says,” he could hear Haru grumbling and he couldn’t help himself so he laughed. “Oh I’m sorry Haru but honestly. I’ve never even considered it. I didn’t even notice it until others pointed it out!” Makoto shook his head, still smiling. “If this were a competition, which it isn’t, she’d still be on the start block and you’d already be on the finish line! There is no contest.” A part of Makoto though was tickled that Haru was jealous over this. He really did think it silly, he never even thought of anyone else but knowing Haru was so possessive over him warmed his heart.

“She did get on the start block!” He startled at the words but saw Haru was smirking and grinned back. “Would you have locked her in the storage closet then?” He teased back and Haru nodded.

Makoto laughed again and then pulled Haru up for a kiss before looking at him “She never even entered the stadium Haru.” That got him a surprisingly gentle look and a long, sensuous kiss. Haru went back to cuddling against him, Makoto softly rubbing his back and soon they dozed off, just happy that they were with each other.

~~

He woke up to the wonderful smell of coffee.

They didn’t often have it, mostly preferring tea but on occasion they would indulge in a cup or two. Makoto’s nose twitched and he opened his eyes. A cup of steaming liquid was right in front of him and he blinked, looking up. Haru was smiling that small smile of his. Makoto sat up in bed, and gratefully took it, while Haru scrambled back to bed with one of his own.

“Morning,” he pecked Haru’s cheek, then inhaled, “thank you Haru, this is perfect.”

“Well, more like afternoon, we slept in.”

Makoto glanced at the clock and grinned. “Oops. I guess we were tired.”

Haru nodded and sipped. “I was thinking, how about we go out to lunch? A little celebration for the two of us?” Makoto looked up, blinking. “Break our tradition? For this occasion, I agree. We definitely have something to celebrate.” Haru's hand lightly touched his before he went back to his coffee. Haru could be endearingly shy sometimes _._

They took their time, just lounging around, then got dressed and headed out.

“Any ideas where?” Makoto asked. He hadn’t thought of it before, his brain still sluggish from sleep.

“Yes.” Haru tugged on his jacket and got them moving. “A café I heard of from Nagisa, at Ebisu Garden Place. We can take a nice walk too.”

Makoto hadn’t expected that and wondered if Nagisa mentioned it or Haru had actually asked about it, as it didn’t seem a typical sort of conversation for those two but decided not to press. He knew he’d be embarrassed to talk about it for sure if it were him, so just smiled and nodded. “It sounds great.” And it did, he was excited about spending a nice afternoon with Haru, and visiting a new place.

They took a train that was fairly busy so they had an excuse to stay close to each other, Haru as usual holding on to Makoto’s jacket. It was on days like this that Makoto really didn’t mind the crowds. It didn’t take long before they were at their station and Haru kept checking his phone as he led the way. “Map?”

He got a head-shake and an absent “Nagisa’s instructions,” which made him press his lips together in order not to smile. He had asked her where to go. It made him feel happy that it mattered so much to Haru that he’d go out of his usual way to make sure they had a nice day. Makoto of course knew Haru cared for him but things like this still touched him. Haru put away his phone finally and gave him another brief smile “Here we are.”

“Ooh!” This was definitely a little different from what he was used to until then, and he realized he rather liked it. He blinked at the castle like structure that reminded him of European buildings and wondered what it was. “Haru? We are not going there, right?” He definitely didn’t feel dressed for a place like that and he cast a worried glance Haru’s way but Haru was already shaking his head. “No. It’s a restaurant but I figured something more relaxing would be better. We are going this way.” A bit further away and Makoto relaxed. It was a cute little café that still reminded him a little bit of Europe but much more approachable and definitely cosy.

They were seated at an out of the way window seat and Makoto relished the notion of being able to look outside too. He smiled gratefully at Haru “This was such a wonderful idea Haru, thank you.” Haru blushed lightly and just buried his head in the menu he was holding, making Makoto smile wider. He picked up his own though and soon they ordered their meals.

“Rei and Nagisa called while you were asleep.”

Makoto was about to take a sip of his coffee but put it down in surprise. “Oh?”

“You slept through the phone ringing, it’s what woke me up. They called about the competition, to congratulate me. Rei kept talking about being sorry to have missed my beautiful swimming.” Haru kept watching the people passing by but Makoto could see the corner of his lip tugging upwards.

“Did they say anything else? We haven’t spoken in a few weeks.”

“They’re busy themselves, so they understand. Rei said they’re getting ready for the swimming competition and scouting out who may carry on with captain duties once they’re done. They said there are several good prospects.”

Makoto nodded and twirled his cup, lost in thought. It hadn’t really been that long but he felt so removed from that life. It wasn’t what he had expected when first arriving to Tokyo. He had expected to go through University and simply go back to Iwatobi, while keeping in close contact with people there and yet, it was like Tokyo was a tide that unexpectedly came in and had swept him, swept them away, depositing them on strange and fascinating shores full of opportunities and new faces.

“Makoto?”

“Just thinking how much had changed in a mere few months. Not just … us, but I have always assumed I would finish University and go back, with this being a temporary stop in that life. It doesn’t seem that way now. All these new things, new people and I feel so removed from the old.” Makoto shook his head and took another sip of his coffee. The taste burst on his tongue, a mix of bitter and sweet, and he sighed. “I didn’t expect to get swept away so easily.”

He could see Haru learning towards him, his fingers gently brushing Makoto’s hand that was resting on the table. “Life happens.” _Typical Haru. But yes, life does happen._ He looked up and watched the man seated across from him. He glanced around but they were tucked away in a corner and nobody was looking so he intertwined their fingers together. “It does. I think,” he cleared his throat and looked at their hands, “I think I find I don’t mind so much, as long as we are going through it together.” His face heated but at the same time, a sense of happiness filled him about being able to express his feelings openly. He was much more comfortable with how he felt about Haru now and though it was still embarrassing, he could say it out loud. Some of it at least because he was sure far more lurked in the depths of his heart, more than he could even admit to himself sometimes.

He felt Haru squeeze his hand and he looked up. Haru was gazing through the window, his eyes distant before he turned his head and their eyes met.

“You are who I want with me Makoto.”

Makoto had never expected Haru to say anything, let alone something like that. He blinked because his eyes teared up and smiled a wobbly smile. “Me too Haru.” They stayed that way until Makoto noticed the waiter coming their way, so he reluctantly pulled their hands apart but not before one final caress.

Haru was watching the passers-by again.

~~

“Cake?”

Makoto groaned. “I’ve eaten so much. Maybe if we share?” He raised his eyebrows expectantly at Haru and got a fond look in return. “I suppose we could. You pick.”

“Ah but you won Haru, you should pick.” Makoto wanted to insist but Haru just waved him off and pushed the sweets menu toward him. He sighed, feigning being put upon while he was secretly pleased and it didn’t take long for him to spot what he wanted. “Dark chocolate cake? It’d go well with another coffee.”

Haru just flagged their waiter and ordered.

“Haru?”

“Hmm?”

“About Sousuke…” Makoto started and then wasn’t quite sure how to finish. He’d noticed a couple of times now that Sousuke seemed interested in Rin. They were close friends, that much was obvious but lately, he had a feeling it was something more on Sousuke’s side. He wondered if he was noticing it now because of his own situation or because it was something new.

“Yes?”

“I think he may have feelings for Rin.”

“They care a great deal about each other.”

Makoto huffed and felt exasperated “Haru! That is not what I mean and you know it.” That got him a small smirk but then Haru nodded. “He does.”

“Oh.” Their cake arrived and he waited for the waiter to leave, before taking a piece and moaning. “This is divine Haru, try.” Haru just relaxed in his chair, his eyes at half-mast and shook his head. Taking another bite, Makoto licked his fork and sighed. “I don’t even know if Rin is gay?” Haru shrugged. “We’ve never talked about such things.”

Makoto snickered “Yes, you two and your swimming rivalry.” He went back to the cake, humming around his fork, making sure he got all the crumbs when Haru suddenly leaned forward, grabbed his hand and slowly removed the fork. Makoto blinked and watched him take a piece then eat it, all the while holding Makoto’s gaze, before licking off the frosting. Makoto flushed and had to shift in his chair, clearing his throat. Not just feelings lurked deep down, but also dreams of what he might like to try with Haru some day. This was so the wrong place to think about those. “Ah,” but Haru just offered him the fork back and reclined in his chair again.

Thinking better of it, Makoto put it down, all sorts of ideas still flying through his head and he hastily grabbed his coffee.

“Where were we?”

Haru just looked at him.

“Rin, right. Sousuke.” Finding that thinking about those two actually helped, he sighed “I hope it works out. I think they’d be good together.”

Haru nodded and finished his coffee. “It’ll have to be Rin though, Sousuke won’t make a move.”

“It’s hopeless, isn’t it?” Makoto looked wide eyed at Haru before they laughed.

They were done soon after and walked out into the cold winter air. It was already getting darker and they slowly walked down the tree lined lane, Makoto loving every moment of it. It was romantic and he realized that it had been a date. They’d went on a date.

He laughed softly to himself. _I am so slow sometimes._ He could see Haru watching him out of the corner of his eyes and he smiled at him. “I had a wonderful time.” Haru nodded and smiled back. “Me too. Home?”

“Home.”

~~

Makoto watched Haru stretch, standing in the living room and groaned silently to himself. They’d ended up on a packed train again, pressed next to each other and he spent the entire ride in a kind of incredible torture. He wanted but he couldn’t do a thing about it.

Now though, they were home and he could.

Thinking back to their date, he wondered if he truly could try and make at least one of those fantasies come true.

Haru had noticed him looking by then and raised his eyebrow. Deciding that fortune favoured the bold, he approached and embraced him, Haru’s arms automatically circling his back. He kissed Haru’s jaw then his lips before gently turning them and giving him a light push towards the bedroom. They managed to kiss and somehow stumble to the bed. Makoto gently pushed again and though Haru raised an eyebrow at him, he complied.

Crawling onto the bed, he hovered over Haru, then rested on his elbows and brought their lips together. Haru opened up for him right away and Makoto took his time exploring his mouth, then switching to leaving small nips down his neck. He kept this up until he felt Haru’s hips twitch. Deciding that it was time to move, he quickly unbuttoned Haru’s shirt, before getting rid of it, followed by his own. He lowered his head and kissed his way down to Haru’s nipples. He didn’t wait but simply sucked one of them into his mouth. Haru’s hand landed in his hair, tugging and he let it pop out of his mouth, before gently blowing on it. He repeated the process before switching to the other neglected one. That got him another tug on his hair and the small hurt made his toes curl.

Makoto had other plans for that night, so he kissed down all to Haru’s navel, and then thrust his tongue into it. The action got Haru’s hips bucking and he repeated it over and over again before he bit down. A wanton groan was his reward and by then he had to be careful to keep his hips off the bed, as he was getting too aroused himself. He didn’t want to stop there so continued kissing slowly further down until he got to Haru’s belt.

“Makoto…” came from above him, in a low, gravelly voice and he was elated, knowing he could reduce Haru to this. He made quick work of it and the jeans, so that now he was left with just Haru’s boxer briefs. He was obviously hard, the outline of his cock clear and Makoto couldn’t resist but lower his head and mouth at the head through the thin material.

“Makoto!”

He felt Haru move and lifted his head. “All right?”

Haru’s eyes were half closed, pupils dilated, his skin flushed. “More than all right.”

Makoto grinned and bent his head down again, mouthing down Haru’s length, listening to Haru’s quick, noisy inhales of air. He couldn’t wait any longer, so he got rid of his own clothes, then carefully slid the briefs down Haru’s long legs. He kissed up Haru’s inner thigh, nipping lightly at the soft skin there, eliciting more moans from Haru before he took Haru’s cock in his hand, giving it a few strokes.

“Haru.” He cleared his throat before continuing “I don’t exactly know what I’m doing here but I want…”

Makoto could feel Haru’s body shake with soft laughter. “Makoto, as long as you don’t actually bite, the only problem is going to be me lasting more than a few seconds at most.”

Feeling emboldened, he lowered his head and took just the head into his mouth. He could feel Haru’s hips lift suddenly so he moved his other arm to hold them down. He swirled his tongue around the tip, and got another loud groan. He slowly took more into his mouth, careful not to go too deep. _Choking is so not sexy._ He loved the feel of the weight of Haru’s cock on his tongue, as he moved his head up and down, and the silky, smooth skin of it. He backed up bit then swirled his tongue around the head again, poking at the slit, tasting the precum. It wasn’t too bad, a bit salty maybe, he thought before swiping his tongue at the underside. He was suddenly glad that he'd held Haru’s hips down because he bucked again, almost dislodging his hand. Makoto’s own hips were slowly rubbing against the bed by that time, the sight of Haru so hot, his constant moans, sending spikes of arousal down his spine.

He took him into his mouth again, his hand working together with his mouth, setting up a rhythm. He could see Haru’s balls tightening and could tell by the sounds he wouldn’t last much more. Another guttural moan came from Haru and Makoto raised his head, and sucked on that spot again, tugging Haru’s balls gently. That was enough to set Haru off, and Makoto’s mouth was flooded with his come. He swallowed and then had to move away as the sight and taste had pushed him over the edge too. He buried his head in Haru’s thigh, and rode out his own orgasm.

~~

“I don’t think I can move.” Came from somewhere above him a few moments later and Makoto chuckled.

He slowly got up and looked at Haru, who was sprawled on the bed, his eyes closed, hair a total mess. Makoto quite liked the sight of him. Grabbing the wash cloth from the bathroom he cleaned himself off then went back and took care of Haru, and eyed the bedspread. _We need to do laundry tomorrow. So worth it though._ He moved it to the side and flopped on the bed next to Haru who still hadn’t moved.

“Was this a celebration of my win?”

“In a way.”

“I have got to win more often.”

Makoto giggled before rolling them both into their customary position. The last thing on his mind before falling asleep was that some candles would have been nice to add to the mood. Bath oils and candles. He really needed to go shopping.

He might even take Haru with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of the meet to wet your appetites hopefully, as I'll be describing Nationals in depth. They are more important and Haru's now qualified, he has the norms required to enter thanks to this meet.  
> With it I also have Sousuke positioned where I wanted to for his career. I truly exhaled in relief when this chapter was done. He's finally in a good place and hopefully it worked on 'paper' as it did in my head :)  
> Everything is KyoAni's, I just changed it a bit XD  
> 


	12. Chapter 12

#  Chapter 12

 

“Tachibana, wait up!”

Makoto turned and saw Matsushita making his way towards him, waving. He moved to the side, not to bother other students that were going about their business, and waited for him.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to catch you today.” He slapped his back. “You’ve been so busy lately!”

Makoto blushed slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah, yes, well, school’s picking up again and Haru had his meet so I’ve been busy with that too.”

“Oh I forgot! How did that go, did he manage to place?” Matsushita’s eyes sparkled and Makoto belatedly remembered that he was a swimming fan. He almost snorted at his own, now habitual, forgetfulness. He nodded instead, grinning. “He won in all three of his disciplines, with the norms for Nationals.”

“Eh? He won all three? That’s amazing, I didn’t know Nanase was so good! I am definitely going to watch him at the Nationals then.” Makoto just smiled. “But I’ve been meaning to ask, are you free now?”

“Actually I have to go shopping.”

“Oh, something special?”

“Ah, no. Just some candles, maybe some other things.” Makoto was certain his face was red because his brain oh so helpfully supplied how those things were going to be used. That got Matsushita laughing. “You’ve got a girlfriend! You’re shopping for Valentine’s!”

“No, no,” Makoto waved his hands, “no girlfriend.” He did want to clear it up but the hallway was the wrong place for such a thing. “But we could go out later tonight, if you’re free?”

Matsushita was still grinning but nodded. “That would be great, we haven’t sat down properly for a while. Shall I invite Koizumi? Are you bringing Nanase?” Makoto nodded, thinking he really would like Haru there. “Yes, to both. Ah, got to run or I’ll be late. At our usual restaurant?”

“Great, see you later Tachibana!” Matsushita jogged back, presumably to his classroom and Makoto turned to leave, as Haru was supposed to wait for him in front of the store. Just then it hit him.

_Wait, Valentine’s?!_

~~

Makoto made his way through the crowds, trying to get to their meeting point but his mind kept going over and over the bomb that Matsushita threw at him. Valentine’s Day. He had completely forgotten about the holiday, his mind totally focused on school and Haru’s meet. Of course, now that he knew about it he had to decide whether he just wanted to ignore it or do something to celebrate with Haru.

The idea of doing something notable appealed to him. They were a new couple but he already found that he loved the time they spent together when it was just the two of them, doing little things for each other. It was after all why they were going shopping today. Haru had readily agreed, even if he hadn’t commented much. The problem was that he had no idea what to do for a holiday like this. Neither one of them was a girl after all, so the traditional giving of chocolates didn’t seem appropriate. Of course even if it were, it’d be a problem, there was no way he could make home-made chocolates. That’d be a disaster. _But then what? A gift?_ Makoto sighed and slowly plodded on. _But what gift? Maybe just go out to dinner together; that would be nice I guess. It would have to be special though._

He was so engrossed in trying to find something, anything that would work, that he would have walked right past their meeting place if Haru hadn’t called out after him. Blushing, he just shrugged. “Sorry, got lost in thought!”

“Thinking about yet another school paper I take it?” Haru was smiling at him, a fond look in his eyes and Makoto bent his head in amused resignation. “I am not that bad,” he exaggeratedly pouted, but Haru just nodded at him, a mock serious expression on his face. “Yes, yes you are.” He grinned then and added “But you wouldn’t be Makoto otherwise. So are we going in?” Makoto was glad Haru had not inquired further and then lead the way. He’d asked Koizumi, not that he’d tell Haru that, where to go for something like this and she’d giggled at him for several minutes, before patting him on the arm and giving him directions.

The store was pretty big so Makoto looked around, not knowing where to even start. Haru got a basket then tugged at his jacket and Makoto followed. “Might as well wonder around.”

He was peering at different things on offer, and then considered his previous dilemma. Something from here could be used as a gift perhaps, he just had to keep an eye out. He hummed to himself and walked with a renewed purpose. A nicely looking display at the end of the isle beckoned to him and started towards it, when Haru’s hand grabbed his.

“Makoto?”

“Ah, yes?” He startled, blinking rapidly at him.

“Mind telling me what you’re looking for?” Haru was sporting an amused small smile and one of his eyebrows was raised.

Makoto frowned “I was sure I told you, I thought about us getting some candles and bath oils.”

He could see Haru biting his lip in amusement before pointing to his left “You mean candles like these that you were just about to walk past in your pursuit of something else?” Haru laughed and shook his head “What are you looking for, I know you have something other than this in mind.”

Makoto could feel himself blush, he totally missed a couple of shelves full of candles. He knew the jig was up so he sighed. “Valentine’s.”

“Eh?”

“Valentine’s day. It’s on Friday. I had totally forgotten but Matsushita reminded me today at school.” He shrugged slightly then sighed “I really like the idea of doing something for it but well, we can’t give each other chocolates and then I considered a gift or an outing. It’s why I focused on that display there, it looked promising.”

“Oh! Right. Valentine’s.” It was now Haru’s turn to blush slightly but then he frowned “Wait, why can’t we give each other chocolates? Isn’t that tradition?”

“Neither one of us is a girl Haru.”

“Obviously.” Haru smirked at him, “I still don’t get it though, why can’t we do it?”

“Girls give chocolates to the guys they like?” Makoto was now feeling confused but Haru just waved him off. “There is nothing to say we can’t adapt! It doesn’t mean either one of us is a girl, it just means we’re going to improvise. Chocolates should be hand-made right?”

“Well, it’s nice if they are, yes. And that’s another reason why I can’t do that.” Makoto cursed his lack of cooking ability but it was the simple truth. Haru though just smiled at him. “We’ll do it together.”

“Ha?”

“We’ll make chocolates together. You can help out with the simpler things, while I handle the rest. It’ll be special that way.”

Makoto wished they weren’t in public because he truly wanted to kiss Haru right there and then. It was a wonderful idea and exactly what he wanted out of this; something they would do together, something unique. He had to settle for just fervently nodding “I’d love that.” He grazed one of Haru’s cheeks with his fingers, hoping it conveyed how he felt and by the look Haru was giving him, it did.

“I’ll get all the ingredients, we can do it on Friday itself and have a special night?”

“Perfect.” Makoto smiled and then gestured towards the candles. “Might as well get some of these then, after all!” He rolled his eyes at himself and Haru let out a small laugh. Now feeling much more in the mood he bent to check out the selection. “There are so many, how do we pick?”

“Nothing too strong, please.” Haru’s nose was wrinkled and he looked so cute that Makoto had to turn towards the candles because giggling was probably not the best idea. He agreed on no strong scents though, he wasn’t particularly fond of those either. They discarded all the complicated mixes too and in the end went for a simple vanilla, then cedar wood and bergamot. “I think three’s enough to start, we can come back any time for more.”

They walked on, Makoto feeling satisfied when Haru suddenly caught his arm and jerked his head towards the sets of shelves that held various bottles. Makoto narrowed his eyes and realized they were all oils. He glanced at Haru, who was totally focused on them and then murmured “Massages.”

An image of a naked Haru sprawled on their bed under him, relaxed and pliant from a massage, while his skin glistened in the candle light, flashed through his head and Makoto had to clear his throat several times. “That’s a brilliant idea,” he croaked. He figured Haru was probably just thinking of relieving the tension and tired muscles but then he saw the smirk sent his way and decided they probably had a similar idea after all. And well, if it was beneficial, all the better. They spent quite a bit of time there, their heads close together, arguing over the scents and in the end went with cardamom and lavender.

“You know Haru, after we’re done with those chocolates, we could try one of these.” He said casually, pretending to study one of the shampoo displays.

“I’m rather fond of cardamom.” Haru answered.

“Since you’ll be doing most of the work for chocolates I think you deserve a nice massage later.” Makoto smiled and then moved on, Haru humming next to him.

They walked around slowly, exchanging glances and smiles.

In the end Makoto picked up a few more usual products for themselves, including bath oils, and then finally walked out, feeling pretty satisfied with their purchases.

“Oh! I completely forgot!” Makoto rolled his eyes. “I got so caught up with everything that it slipped my mind. I agreed to a night out with Matsushita and his girlfriend. Koizumi too, not sure if Himura or Kagome will make it. I did mention we’d both come but if you’re too tired, it’s all right.” He did hope though that Haru would be fine with it, especially as he wanted to mention being with him, if the occasion allowed.

“Of course. I have no plans for tonight.” Haru nodded and Makoto felt relieved. “Did you want to talk to them, if possible?”

“Yes, I think I’d like to.”

Haru squeezed his arm then started walking towards the station. “The usual place?”

“Yes but if you don’t mind, I’d prefer it if we went together?” It was probably weird to ask that but he couldn’t help himself. It’s not that he was afraid of being on his own with his friends, it is just that it was somehow better if he were with Haru. He was sure he’d be less anxious which seemed important as there was no way that the night would be anything but nerve-wrecking for him. He hoped it would go well but one never could be sure about these things.

“Makoto.” Haru said slowly and he turned to look at him. Haru’s eyes had gone soft and Makoto blushed “Of course I don’t mind.”

Makoto knew that. Of course he did. _But it still feels good to hear it._ He smiled and briefly caught Haru’s hand in silent thanks.

~~

Having picked up Haru at his apartment, Makoto was more relaxed, much like he assumed he would be. He had gotten quite anxious while getting ready to leave, even going as far as to change clothes twice but as soon as he saw Haru standing there and smiling at him, his nerves had mostly settled. They had taken the train and by the time they had arrived, Matsushita, his girlfriend Moto-san and Koizumi were already seated.

“Ah, Tachibana, Nanase! So good to see you again!” Matsushita grinned. “It’s been ages.”

“Yes, it’s been a while.” Makoto smiled and they seated themselves. “What with Haru’s competition and everything else, it’s been a bit busy.”

“Oh competition?” Matsushita’s girlfriend asked. She was usually quiet during these gatherings so Makoto was surprised to hear her inquiry. “Yes, it was qualifications for Nationals in essence, for the Japan Swim due in April.” Makoto beamed “He won all of his races.”

“Who won?” was heard from the side, where Himura had just arrived. They said their hellos and he sighed. “Kagome’s not coming. He’s out on a date. So, who won?”

“Nanase. He is going to compete in the Japanese Nationals come April!” Matsushita sounded quite excited and Makoto wondered if he'd be in the audience, cheering Haru on. _Well if everything goes all right, that is._ He snatched his drink to keep his hands busy and glanced around. Koizumi was watching him with a soft expression on her face and he smiled. She smiled back and was just about to say something when Himura burst out. “Let’s have a toast, to Nanase!”

Everyone joined in and Haru thanked them quietly. Makoto could tell he was not at ease being the centre of this type of attention but also realized that he’d have to get used to it, at least a bit. He wondered how Haru would handle the reporters once the time came and decided to talk to him about it later. Knowing Haru, the idea hadn’t even occurred to him and it would definitely be important.

“Are there any major competitions this year Nanase-san?” Koizumi asked.

Haru shook his head “Not really. Next year though there’s the World’s and then the year after the Olympics.”

“It’s what you are aiming for?”

“If all goes well, yes.”

“But surely you’ll be going to some international meets this year too?” Matsushita was leaning towards Haru, frowning slightly.

“I hope so.”

Makoto tried not to laugh at the short answers but took pity on Matsushita “Yes, there will be some. I talked to Rin about this too, he’s already excited. There’s one in Australia and a couple in Europe at least. They’ll be doing some traveling this summer! There are the Asian Games as well, later on.”

“Oh to be able to see all these places!” Himura sighed, “I’d love to visit them one day. Europe for example, so many beautiful sights. While on this subject, is anyone following the Sochi Olympics?”

Koizumi nodded her head “I am!” Makoto turned to her “We just watched the opening ceremony, what are you interested in?”

“Figure skating!” She exclaimed. “It’s my favourite sport. I’m especially excited for the men’s program, Yuzuru Hanyu has a great opportunity to do well and I have high hopes.” Matsushita’s girlfriend leaned forward, looking interested “When is it?”

“Short program on Thursday and then the long and medals are on Friday.”

“On Valentine’s? That’s a shame. We’re going out!” Matsushita looked at his girlfriend fondly and Makoto thought they were a good match, as she had an equally fond expression on her face.

“We’re six hours ahead of Sochi though, so it’s very doable. I plan to watch!”

Himura thanked the waiter for his drink that had just arrived then took a large gulp and sighed into his cup “Ah I am going to spend Valentine’s on my own. So depressing. I might as well watch with you.”

“There, there Himura,” Matsushita smiled at him, “it’s not the end of the world. And you could do worse than spending time with Koizumi here! Not to mention, she’s probably already arranged to watch with someone else, you can’t just invite yourself over like that.”

“Ah, no, I haven’t, but thank you.” Koizumi shook her head and Himura grinned “We singles should watch together then! Come on Tachibana, Nanase, you should join us too!”

Makoto saw Haru glance at him quickly and cleared his throat. Well, this was what they wanted and he doubted there’d be a more perfect moment anyway. “I am not single actually. I am in a relationship so I have plans for Valentine’s.”

“Eh?” Himura exclaimed and Matsushita looked at him with eyebrows raised “But you told me just this afternoon you had no girlfriend. Really Tachibana! So you were buying gifts for Valentine’s!” He huffed, obviously a bit put out with the whole thing.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, I told you the truth. I have a boyfriend.”

There was just silence after that statement and Makoto wanted to squirm. He kept telling himself not to panic and that it would be just fine.

“Girlfriend, boyfriend, semantics!” Matsushita waved his hands “It still means you have someone! You could have said.” Himura looked even more morose and added “You still have someone to be with on Valentine’s.” Makoto breathed a sigh of relief. He could feel Haru next to him relaxing as well, his shoulders had gone tight during those few moments. Makoto picked up his drink and smiled. It was one thing to think his friends would be all right with it all, quite another to know it.

“Ah well, I guess it’s just us Koizumi. Nanase, the invitation still stands, even if Tachibana here is busy being all lovey-dovey.”

Haru raised his eyebrows at that description and the corner of his lips twitched but he clearly avoided looking at Makoto. “Thank you Himura but I am afraid I must decline.”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun!”

Haru just blinked at him “I’m going to be busy being lovey-dovey with Tachibana here and that is going to be infinitely more fun.”

Matsushita burst out laughing, then clapped his hand over his mouth. “Oh I am so sorry but Himura you should see your face!” His girlfriend started giggling then and Himura joined in too. “Oh good one Nanase!” He slapped his hand on the table. “All right, you got me.”

Makoto felt himself frowning. Of course, they didn’t mean anything by it but it still bothered him. He slanted a glance at Haru and then extended his hand and intertwined their fingers. Haru smiled at him and took a sip of his drink, not saying anything.

“Wait.” Matsushita was now looking between them. “It’s not a joke?”

Makoto just shook his head.

“You two are actually together?” Matsushita groaned “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. But Tachibana, honestly. You could have said something, instead of the whole best friend thing.”

“Ah, we are, best friends I mean. We’re just more too.“ He smiled shyly and Haru squeezed his hand.

Himura sighed.

~~

“That went well.”

Makoto’s head was resting on Haru’s chest and he was rubbing his hand up and down Haru’s arm. He snuggled even closer and sighed. “I was worried there for a second.” Haru's fingers were playing with his hair and he wondered how such little things could bring him so much joy.

“It did go well. They’re good people.”

“They are.”

He sighed again.

“Hmm?”

“I like this the best. When we can be like this, together.” Haru’s arms embraced him and a soft kiss was deposited to his hair. Makoto smiled because his clumsy words were understood. He had wanted to say so much more but how do you explain that feeling of bone deep contentment and that connection to another person that makes the world so much brighter.

Makoto snuggled into Haru again and they just rested until Haru yawned. It made him smile “Tired?”

“Yes, more than I expected.”

“Oh, today was the first joint practice with Mizushima-san and Sousuke! How did it go?”

Haru shifted a bit under him and tightened his hold. “Well.” Makoto was about to ask him to expand but he continued without prompting after all. “There was one moment where I was reluctant but Yamazaki talked to him for a while and they altered that part of the session. After that, it all went smoothly. I think it was productive and with Yamazaki there I think it’s going to be just fine.” Haru paused then laughed softly. “But he must be tired too!”

“Oh?”

“Mizushima-san kept a steady commentary during the practice and I caught quite a few questions too. I think he is going to treat these as sessions for us both. He must think Yamazaki has a lot of potential but it’s going to take a lot of work for him too.”

“I think that’s good. Sousuke responds well to challenges.” Makoto nodded, “Though I do hope that he’ll let up when he starts University. Juggling both won’t be easy.”

“It’ll be all right, it’s probably part of the reason he’s pushing now when they do have the time. I know it’s early but he seems like a reasonable man.”

Makoto recalled what he thought of earlier and figured it was convenient to mention it now. “Haru, since we’re talking about your swimming, have you considered what’s going to happen when you start doing interviews?”

“Eh?”

“You are going to have to deal with the press too you know. I mean we have talked about us but there’s going to be much more than that. I know you don’t like the idea but perhaps being friendly, even if sparse in answers, is a good choice.” There was silence and Makoto let it stretch. Haru needed to chew this over and think so Makoto went back to gently petting his arm.

“This doesn’t come to me naturally.”

“No, but you’re going to have to try, at least a little bit. Having the press on your side is always good.”

Haru sighed. “You’re right, of course you’re right.”

Makoto turned in Haru’s embrace and hoisted himself on his elbows, moving a bit up so that he could bring their lips together. “Just be yourself Haru, a few answers and it’ll be just fine.” Haru grumbled and scrunched his nose “If I were myself, I wouldn’t bother.” Makoto laughed and kissed his nose. “You know what I mean!”

“I do.” He sighed again, looking so put upon that Makoto had to kiss him again. “You know, we’re talking as if this is sure to happen.”

“It will. I believe in you.” Makoto said, his face serious. Haru’s hands came up to cradle his cheeks and they kissed slowly, just enjoying each other.

~~

Makoto tried balancing the bags in his hands and sighed. His morning set of classes had ended on schedule but the store had been a madhouse. He had thanked his height several times because he managed to push through and grab some items Haru had asked him to pick up, as he hadn’t been able to do it. They probably shouldn’t have left shopping to the very end but both of them had been swamped with obligations so this was the only possibility. He hoped Haru had managed to do all the preparations he said were needed.

Finally reaching Haru’s apartment he rang the doorbell because the idea of getting the keys now and trying to unlock the door made him shudder. It didn’t take long for Haru to let him in and he finally breathed a sigh of relief when he plopped down on the couch.

“Sorry I’m a bit late but there were huge crowds in the store!”

Haru gave him a peck then shook his head. “Don’t worry, there’s no rush, it’s not like we’ll be late for something if we don’t start right away.” Makoto huffed but then Haru was nudging him forward and he moved, waiting to see what he intended. A small kiss was deposited on his nape and then Haru’s fingers were kneading the tense muscles of his shoulders. He groaned and let his head fall forward, enjoying the massage. It was a quick one but it did wonders for relieving his tension. Makoto turned and captured Haru’s lips in a slow, thank you kiss.

“Later.” Haru smirked. “If we get carried away now, we’ll be making these tomorrow.”

Makoto flushed because he couldn’t deny he wouldn’t have minded a few more kisses and maybe a cuddle but he was not alone in that one going by the way Haru was looking at him. “Later,” he smiled then looked towards the kitchen. “So what are we making?”

“Chocolate truffles and a bit more.”

“More?”

“Yes. Come on, wash your hands and we can get going.” Haru left him sitting there on the couch, retreating to the kitchen and Makoto wondered what more meant. He had assumed they’d just do something fun and quick but it seemed like Haru had other things planned too.

Shrugging because he certainly didn’t mind, he got up and then quickly washed his hands before joining him in the kitchen. Haru just silently handed him an apron, and Makoto had to try really hard not to giggle because it had an orca image in the front. He shook his head because that was so Haru and then waited to be put to work.

Haru pointed to the strawberries “Cut off the tops from those, then use these to spear two together, bottom ends together,” he pointed at the toothpicks. Makoto got to it, all the while keeping an eye on Haru who was melting chocolate. “Keep an eye on those strawberries Makoto, I am rather fond of your fingers.” Makoto grinned and turned to his work. “Ooooh, I have an idea where this is going!”

Haru just smirked at him and kept an eye on the chocolate. Once he’d judged it had properly melted he removed it from the stove. He let it cool off slightly while he produced a whole bowl of multi coloured sprinkles and then handed both to Makoto. “You can guess?” Makoto just nodded, and concentrated on dipping his sticks into the bowl then covering them with sprinkles. He saw Haru was painting heart shaped moulds with something yellow, before filling them with a white mixture but he tried not to guess what that contained. It was obviously meant to be a surprise.

Soon Makoto had a whole bunch of sprinkle covered chocolate hearts on a large plate and he was quite pleased with himself. It wasn’t too complicated and they had turned out great, if he did say so himself.

“Refrigerator?”

“Yes, just careful of the second shelf, I have something cooling there.”

Makoto raised an eyebrow but Haru wasn’t interesting in explaining and just shooed him off, returning to his own work. Faking a put upon sigh Makoto batted his eyelashes at Haru and for his troubles got a swipe of the brush across his cheek.

“Haru!”

A guileless grin and Makoto laughed. “I am not chocolate!”

“I am not so sure,” Haru laughed too, but kept his eyes on what he was doing. Makoto thought he might as well take the opportunity and he swiped his finger through the stuff and then sucked. “Oh, spicy!” Haru glanced at him and groaned. “Makoto.” His voice was lower and a bit gravely and Makoto just raised his eyebrows at him. “Fridge Makoto.” He gave his finger another suck, innocently looking at Haru, pretending not to understand before taking pity on him.

“Oh right!” He removed his finger from his mouth with a pop, grinning wickedly, loving how Haru gave a little shiver, and then took the plate and deposited it in the fridge, while peeking at what was not surprisingly a chocolate mix of some kind cooling off. Thinking Haru must have done that while waiting for Makoto to arrive, he smiled and then went to close it before being stopped by Haru.

“Wait, these are going in too.” He popped the moulds in next to Makoto’s hearts and then pushed the doors closed.

“Now.”

Makoto looked at him and blinked because Haru was pushing him backwards. His back hit the wall and then Haru brought their lips together in a passionate kiss. Haru’s tongue invaded his mouth and though he tried responding his brain was short circuiting from the unexpected assault against his senses.

Haru broke their kiss, then grabbed his head and turned it to reveal the marked cheek.

“You really shouldn’t taunt me like that,” was all he said before he swiped his tongue along Makoto’s skin and then sucked the sweet off. “Spicy indeed,” he grinned and then Makoto was being kissed again, this time a taste of vanilla and turmeric assaulting his senses. He broke the kiss and gulped in some much needed air. He didn’t expect Haru to react this way and just as he was about to get another kiss, Haru pulled off his apron and dropped to his knees in front of him, unbuckling his belt.

Makoto groaned and let his head hit the wall. He couldn’t believe what was happening. He definitely wasn’t complaining though.

Haru obviously wasn’t interested in being slow this time so he found his jeans pushed down, followed by his briefs and he was exposed to the cooler air. He felt so decadent, leaning against the kitchen wall, still half-dressed but then Haru palmed his cock and sucked it into his mouth. All thought fled his head and all Makoto could do was feel.

Haru seemed to have gotten a rhythm going with his hand and was now swiping at his cock as it was an ice-cream, before sucking just the head. Makoto groaned and thrust his hand in Haru’s hair who chose that moment to poke his tongue into the slit before swiping at the underside. He reacted automatically and tugged at Haru’s hair before quickly letting go. “Sorry!”

Another swipe of the tongue and Haru pulled his lips off with a pop and a grin. “I don’t mind. Go ahead,” was stated in a low voice and Makoto put his hand back, threading his fingers through Haru’s hair.

He groaned when Haru started moving his head up and down, then stopping to swipe his tongue across the head. He was trying desperately not to come but then he made the mistake of looking down. Haru’s lips were red, swollen and wrapped around his cock and he groaned, the sound reverberating in the silent kitchen. Haru looked up and their eyes met, Makoto groaning again, the sight so erotic causing him to pull on Haru’s hair again. At that moment Haru hummed around his cock and that finally pushed him over the edge. He vaguely felt Haru’s mouth still wrapped around him, lost as he was in the pulsing pleasure of his orgasm.

His legs finally giving out, Makoto slid down, with Haru’s help, and he ended up in a heap, wrapped up in Haru’s embrace. He allowed his head to rest on Haru’s shoulder, taking great gulps of air, trying to get his heart to calm down. Deciding he was finally a bit more in control, he lifted his head and ended up staring straight at Haru who was licking his lips with a thoughtful expression on his face.

Sighing because unfortunately he couldn’t get hard that fast again he pressed their lips together, tangling their tongues. It took a few moments to realize what the salty taste was and he whined.

“You are going to kill me.”

Haru just grinned.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while, but when I saw you standing there earlier … Makoto … “ another slow kiss, Haru’s eyes dark and filled with desire, “you have no idea how much I wanted you.”

Makoto experienced another spike of desire and kissed Haru again, this time with more passion but Haru pushed him back then helped him get dressed. “But…”

“Later. Now we need to roll some balls.”

Makoto’s brain helpfully provided a few images to accompany that sentence and he just stared at him.

“We’re making chocolate truffles Makoto, get your head out of the gutter. For now.” Haru pressed a light kiss to his lips then went to wash his hands. “Get that bowl out of the fridge, I’ll be right back!”

Makoto was left staring after him, thinking that he was definitely going to get his revenge later. He even had a pretty good idea how. _For now, let’s roll some balls I guess._

He laughed at himself, picking up his apron from the floor and reached for the fridge door.

~~

They’d rolled their balls, Makoto had a particularly good time using the coconut powder because he kept stealing it to taste and then Haru disappointed him by saying it all had to go to the fridge too. He got shooed out of the kitchen and told to go read or something.

He shuffled out, settling himself on the sofa to watch some television, only to be distracted by Haru not even half an hour later, setting the table for their meal. Aside from the fact that he couldn’t believe Haru bothered with it all, it had apparently been half prepared before he had even arrived, he was enthralled by simply watching Haru move around.

Makoto realized he never really noticed how graceful Haru was. Maybe he was more inclined to pay attention these days he supposed but Haru had an economy of movements, a grace to them that drew Makoto’s eyes to him. It reminded him of how he was when in the water, and he settled back, forgetting the television, enjoying just watching him move.

It didn’t take long and he was being called, drawn out of this trance like state almost. He blinked rapidly and spotted Haru, his head cocked, watching him with a small inquisitive smile on his face. Makoto just shook his head and got up. _What do I say anyway? I love watching you. I love watching you move. It’s so embarrassing._

He shrugged slightly and then was seated. The meal went by quickly, the food was amazing and they fed each other little bites and joked. Makoto was laughing at something Haru had said when suddenly his lips were caught in a kiss. “I love your laugh,” was all Haru said before he got up and moved to take some of the dishes to the kitchen. “Dessert time!”

Makoto found himself shooed off when he offered to help and soon they were facing their sweets. He almost snorted at the little white chocolate hearts but he finally understood what the brush was for as they all had dashes of the same yellow filling decorating them. He blushed when Haru offered him one but he opened eagerly and let him pop it in. He couldn’t stop himself from gently nipping at Haru’s fingers though. The taste burst in his mouth and he had to moan at the tantalizing blend of banana, turmeric and chocolate. He also wondered if the taste of turmeric was always going to make his groin twitch now.

Haru was watching him with half hooded eyes while he slowly sucked on one of the truffles and Makoto kept repeating to himself that his time was coming. He was so getting him back for this. After the last time they were together, he had realized he knew very little about what they could do, apart from some basic things. Blessing the internet, and the anonymity, he had went researching. Some of the things he found he was sure he could never do, but some, some he thought he could try. Popping a truffle into his mouth he smiled and enjoyed the burst of cinnamon on his tongue. He hummed around the mouthful, his eyes closed. _These are so great, and all the better we made them together._

“Share?”

Opening his eyes, he looked at Haru then smiled when he saw what he was holding. One of the chocolate strawberry hearts Makoto had made was on his palm and he could just nod happily. They each grabbed a side and broke it in two, eating their halves. It made them both smile and Makoto wonder if his face was going to get stuck in a perpetual one.

“This was the best idea.” He whispered then leaned forward and caught Haru’s shirt to pull him forward, close enough for a kiss. His tongue could taste the blends of chocolate on Haru’s and he couldn’t resist sucking on it, cause a groan to burst out of Haru.

Makoto got up and Haru shot him a quizzical look. “Stay there, be right back.” He deposited a quick peck on Haru’s lips then went to pick up his bag he had discarded next to the couch when he had arrived. Moving to the bedroom, he threw Haru who was now sucking on another truffle a smile, then closed the door.

He got the oil they had bought the other day, and put it on the nightstand. Then the candles and looked around, wondering where to place them for greatest effect. A bit of moving around and he decided he had them just right. Turning off the lamps, he was pleased with the soft glow they provided, leaving the bed in a perfect blend of shadows and light. The last was a huge fluffy towel he threw over the bed, not wanting to risk anything. It was so soft though that he was certain Haru wouldn’t mind.

Makoto went back to the living room and found Haru by the window, obviously a million miles away. He quietly walked over and hugged him, his arms wrapping around Haru’s waist. Pressing a kiss to his hair, he murmured, not wanting to disturb the mood that had settled over the apartment “Come with me.” Haru just nodded and Makoto intertwined their hands, leading him to the bedroom.

“Makoto?”

Moving to stand behind Haru, he deposited a soft kiss on Haru’s neck, whispering “Let me take care of you.” Raising his hands, he went for the buttons of Haru’s shirt and slowly undid them. Haru rested his head back, against Makoto’s shoulder and let him. Once unbuttoned, Makoto pushed it off Haru’s shoulders exposing his skin that glowed particularly golden in the candle light, inviting him to touch and taste.

He peppered light kisses across his shoulders and neck, smoothing his hands down across Haru’s powerful arms. He didn’t waste any time but got rid of his belt and jeans, before deciding removing his own clothes might heighten the experience. Soon they were both completely naked, Makoto moulding his body against Haru’s, nudging his ear with his nose, sucking on Haru’s ear lobe slowly. “Lay down for me?”

Haru just obeyed and Makoto got a heady feeling with how much Haru was willing to follow his lead and how much he trusted him. He watched him move and then arrange himself on his front in the middle of the bed on the towel. He was making tiny movements, obviously enjoying the feel of it against his skin and Makoto was glad he had chosen well. He wanted to make Haru feel good.

He got the cardamom oil Haru had expressed a fondness for and then got on the bed himself. He straddled him, resting on Haru’s arse but still keeping most of his weight on his own knees, not to cause any discomfort and then poured some of the oil into his palm. Makoto’s hands settled on Haru’s shoulders and started applying the now warmed up liquid onto Haru’s skin. This caused a low hum from Haru so Makoto continued, spreading it all over his shoulders and back with smooth strokes. Haru’s skin was so soft under his palms and he shivered from the sensation.

Once satisfied, he slowly started working the knots and kinks out of Haru’s muscles. He was tense, which wasn’t a wonder after practice and most of the day in the kitchen so Makoto languidly kneaded his flesh, working those out. Slowly moving down from his shoulders, making sure not to press too hard around the spine, paying attention to his entire back. Haru was basically melting into the bed underneath him so Makoto was quite emboldened. He didn’t talk, not wanting to break the mood he was creating, but just slowly moved to Haru’s lower back with lighter touches.

Pushing himself up, he moved down and then gulped before slowly spreading more oil onto Haru’s buttocks and kneading the strong muscles there. That got him a satisfied rumble from Haru, so he continued to his strong thighs, making sure to tend to the muscles there, and further to his calves. He could feel the knots there too so used smooth, strong movements to get him to completely relax. He peeked at Haru and could see his eyes were closed, his breathing even, only occasionally hitching when Makoto got rid of a particularly bad one. He finished with his legs then moved up, deposited a kiss to his ear and murmured for him to turn over.

Haru did, his eyes half closed, watching Makoto with a lazy look.

Makoto decided that starting with Haru’s arms was a good idea and he moved from the shoulders down. When he got to his hands, he was careful to give each finger attention, and then the palm. Haru kept humming throughout and Makoto smiled. He’d obviously found something Haru thoroughly enjoyed and put it to memory for the future. He worked his way down Haru’s torso with slow, languid, light strokes. He could feel Haru’s eyes on him but he ignored his half hard cock and simply moved himself all the way to Haru’s feet.

This got him a raised eyebrow but he paid no attention and just took one foot into his hands and started kneading the sole with a firm enough pressure to avoid tickling. This got him a jerk and then a deep groan from Haru who was clearly sensitive there and he made sure to take his time, then with the other too, before moving slowly up, over the knees to his thighs again.

He re-oiled his hands and then started to apply gentle pressure on Haru’s thighs, paying special attention the sensitive inner area. As he worked Haru’s slight hitches of breath turned to low moans and Makoto could see him responding. He moved his hands to the other and repeated the process and by the time he was done, Haru was hard, one of his hands fisted into the towel.

Makoto moved then pushed gently onto Haru’s knees and Haru spread them, allowing Makoto to settle between his legs.

He started leaving open mouthed kisses on Haru’s already sensitive skin then blowing softly over the wet spots. Haru was moaning above him, his hips moving as if asking Makoto to hurry up but Makoto kept a grip on his own needs, intent on making Haru as wild from desire as possible. He repeated his ministrations on the other thigh, sucking gently on the tender flesh, until he heard a tiny sob leave Haru’s mouth.

He shifted up and without any warning sucked in his cock. A shout from above and he moved his head up and down, twirling his tongue around the top before sucking again. He could feel the precum on his tongue, and gave the slit a gentle jab. Makoto’s hand started gently playing with Haru’s balls, rolling them between his fingers and giving tiny tugs. He swirled his tongue around the tip one more time before lifting his head and taking Haru’s cock into his other hand, before tugging a few times. Haru moaned and Makoto spread his thighs a bit wider, lifting his knees a bit and then bending his head down again.

Avoiding Haru’s cock he started licking his balls and then took one into this mouth, careful to keep his teeth away, and gently sucked. Haru’s hips bucked but Makoto’s arm pressed him down into the bed, making sure he stayed put. He laved his balls before gently touching Haru’s perineum. The light was dim but Makoto could see his pucker clench as he then brushed it with one of his fingers.

Haru’s body above him stilled and Makoto lifted his head to look at him. Haru was focused on his face, his skin flushed with desire and Makoto just whispered a soft “Haru?”

A short pause and Haru nodded at him before lowering his head on the pillow again. A quiet “Yes,” floated down to Makoto, Haru relaxing again and Makoto felt warmth bloom in his chest, happy in the knowledge Haru trusted him to take them further, wanted him to.

He kissed Haru’s inner thigh, his hand steadily moving on his cock, before the fingers of his other hand slipped into the cleft of Haru’s arse again. They were still coated with oil so he gently circled Haru’s puckered entrance, feeling it quiver under his fingers. He didn’t do much more than lightly stroke it, letting Haru get used to the idea, and soon he could hear him moan again. Only then did he allow the tip of his finger to gently breach him. Haru clenched around him but Makoto just brushed his entrance again, stroking and soon he could feel Haru relax again. He took his time and slowly got his finger in and then started moving it in and out carefully. Haru was progressively more vocal with his moans and his hips followed the movement of Makoto’s hands.

Remembering what he read, he twisted his hand, searching until his finger rubbed against the right spot as a strangled sound came from above, Haru's hips bucking.

“Makoto!”

He was breathing fast and heavily and Makoto let go of his cock to gently stroke his thigh. “All right?”

He could see Haru swallowing several times “Yes. Yes.”

Feeling reassured, Makoto resumed, making sure to brush against Haru’s prostate every once in a while, each time getting a more guttural moan, all of them sending little shocks through his body. He found that the sounds Haru kept making were turning him on as much as what he was doing. He made sure to keep his hand moving steadily and then took Haru’s cock into his mouth again. Swirling his tongue around the tip, he brushed Haru’s prostate again, before Haru’s hand grabbed his hair, pulling suddenly.

“Makoto, stop.”

He let go immediately, careful to gently remove his hand and not hurt Haru.

“Up.” Haru was tugging him now towards himself and he moved, covering him with his body, settling between Haru’s legs.

“Haru?”

Haru’s hand still in his hair pushed him forward, Haru lifting up to bring their lips together in a wild kiss, tongues meeting, causing them both to groan.

“Together,” Haru said, before wrapping both his legs around Makoto’s waist and Makoto groaned. That position brought their cocks together but also made him think of other possibilities. Knowing they’d get there in time, he kissed Haru, tongue exploring, and then moved. It took them a few moments to find their rhythm but soon they were in sync. Haru’s skin was slick from the oil and the massage making them glide together and Makoto couldn’t hold back his moans of pleasure, nor did he want to.

Makoto could feel Haru’s other hand shift and he moved slightly allowing him access between their bodies. He wrapped it around both their cocks, giving them the necessary friction and in a few moments they were both coming. Makoto let his head fall on Haru’s shoulder and let the ecstasy take him away.

~~

They were in the bathtub and Haru turned slowly snuggling into Makoto, his head nestled into the crook of Makoto’s neck, his hair tickling him slightly. Makoto smoothed it away, sighing happily.

When he had planned this evening, he really didn’t think it’d go so well. He had another thing in mind but found himself hesitating. He remembered what his reasoning had been when he got it, and how he had felt but faced with the decision to go through with it, he was suddenly uncertain.

“Makoto?”

He blinked and looked down to see Haru’s head tilted back, his blue eyes focused on Makoto’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

He smiled, shaking his head slightly. “Nothing.”

“I can feel you suddenly tensing.”

Makoto sighed and shrugged slightly. “I may have a gift. For both of us.” He could feel Haru rub his chest, his hand coming up to tangle in his hair. “Why is this bad?”

“Ah, not bad, I’m just nervous a bit.”

“Come on.” Haru moved and tugged at him. They got up, rinsed off, and then dressed in their night clothes before padding into the bedroom. Makoto moved on to rummage through his bag, while Haru fluffed the pillows and sheets, settling in.

Makoto held the little bag in his hand then moved to the bed as well, settling on his side, facing Haru. Their legs tangled automatically. Haru grinned at him, trying to peek into the bag and this finally made Makoto relax. He laughed then bopped Haru on the nose. “Wait.”

Reaching in he brought out another, smaller bag, then opened it, only to remove a long navy-white cord, that ended on a loop. He grasped Haru’s arm, then wrapped the cord around a few times. When he almost reached the end of it, he opened his hand to show that the other end was attached to beautifully carved silver anchor. Taking the loop, he pushed the curved sides through it, attaching the bracelet. It nestled on Haru’s wrist perfectly, the anchor resting on top. Makoto could only smile at it. He knew the minute he had spotted it that it would be perfect.

“I had to have it when I saw it. It reminded me so much of you, what you are to me. My anchor, my strength. But it also reminded me of us. We’re off on a voyage, on our own journey, and no matter what happens, we’re going to hold on, each other’s anchors in the storm. It reminded me of hope.” His voice broke and he had to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall. He felt more than he saw Haru move and a gentle kiss was placed on his lips.

“You said for us? Does the other bag hold a matching one?”

Makoto nodded, staring at the bracelet that now adorned Haru’s hand. “I just wasn’t sure if you…” He didn’t get to finish the sentence because Haru was kissing him again, with an edge of desperation Makoto was experiencing as well, at that moment. All thought had left his mind and all he could do was hold on.

Breaking the kiss, Haru opened the bag, and smiled as he removed the long cord, pure white this one, and then wrapped it around Makoto’s wrist.

He was being kissed again then, long, slow kisses as if Haru was trying to convey everything he couldn’t quite say. Makoto understood and kissed back, holding Haru as close as he could. They broke their kiss in the end, Haru turning in his embrace. Makoto turned off the light, his arm going around Haru’s waist as it always did and he smiled wide.

_It has been such a good day._

Haru’s fingers came up to tangle with his own, their bracelets touching. Makoto was almost lulled to sleep when Haru’s thumb swiped the anchor on his wrist and a slow whisper reached him. “No matter what, together.”

He let Haru’s words follow him to sleep, his heart full.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuzuru Hanyu did win the Olympic gold for Japan in Sochi, on Friday, Feb 14th 2014 XD
> 
> I hope you enjoyed that, I sure did writing it (those chocolate strawberry hearts are super easy to make!). I absolutely adore those anchor bracelets, they're so pretty that I just had to use the idea. Next chapter is going to be quite angsty so hopefully this will hold us through it.  
> Boys are KyoAni's and I say they should get them to make chocos for each other like this ;)


	13. Chapter 13

#  Chapter 13

 

He was running late.

Haru and Makoto had agreed to meet up with Rin on Skype that night but Haru had had an extended practice session because his two coaches had decided to torture him that day. He couldn’t argue that it was productive but he was ready to just sit back and relax. Of course that wasn’t going to be possible because Rin was waiting. Haru had texted Makoto as soon as he was sure he wasn’t going to make it in time so he was assured that at least Rin hadn’t been left hanging until he managed to drag himself home.

He unlocked the door and was met with the sound of laughter, the two men obviously having fun. Kicking off his shoes, he hurried into the living room where Makoto was lounging on the couch, his laptop on his knees, his hands flying wildly while he told some story. Haru snorted to himself. _Probably another Himura adventure, that man is impossible._

“Ah, look what the cat dragged in!” came from Rin who grinned at him and Haru just raised his eyebrow then touched Makoto’s cheek gently in greeting. Makoto was looking at him with soft eyes, and then he just extended his hand towards Haru, tugging him down. Haru snuggled along Makoto’s side, one arm wiggling between his back and the couch to embrace him. Makoto’s arm went around his shoulders, to pull him even closer, making him smile in wonder. Ever since that day, when they’d celebrated Valentine’s, they’d been even more tactile with each other, somehow closer and Haru felt his feelings for Makoto expand so much sometimes that he had to just concentrate on breathing in order to settle himself.

“It’s no use,” Rin sighed, his hand waving about in resignation.

“No use?” Makoto asked him, seemingly puzzled as much as Haru.

“You’re so sickeningly adorable that I can’t even make fun of you.” He shook his head and Makoto softly laughed. Haru just snuggled more into his side.

“You should get one of your own Rin, then you can be sickeningly adorable as well.” Haru smiled at him, deciding that a little push wouldn’t hurt anyone. Yamazaki never mentioned anything about Rin in this way again, and Haru remained convinced that it would have to be Rin who made the move. If he were even interested at all, though Haru had his suspicions.

Rin just huffed and waved him off “I don’t have the time for that.”

“Maybe when you return to Japan, who knows.” Makoto was nodding along, an innocent expression on his face though Haru could read him well enough by now to know he was anything but in this case. Of course, as they were pushing for the same thing, he just nodded too and blinked at Rin.

“Maybe.” Rin frowned, silent for a while, then sighed. “How’s Sousuke? I take it you’re late due to practice?”

He found it quite interesting that Rin’s thoughts turned to Sousuke just as they were having that conversation. Haru almost snorted but managed to catch himself at the last moment. “Yes, they’re upping the training for the Nationals. He’s well, working hard. Mizushima-san is pushing him too, not just me but I think he’s enjoying it all.”

Makoto leaned forward, frowning “You haven’t spoken?”

“Oh just for a couple of days, but it’s been a madhouse here.” Rin sighed then rubbed his face with his hands. “It’s just that I get a bit antsy when we don’t speak these days, ever since that mess. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“I think it’s pretty natural you’re more easily worried Rin, you care for him.” Makoto gently said then apparently decided leaving him at that was a good idea, so changed the topic. “When are you getting here?”

“Oh! We’ve settled on roughly about two weeks before the competition. The paperwork’s all done, I have the times required to qualify to participate, but since we’re probably staying then, we thought to give ourselves enough leeway to work everything out. I need to find an apartment too, but we’ll leave all that for after.”

“True,” Makoto mussed, “I didn’t think of that. If you need any help, let us know.”

“You’re both really busy too.”

“Rin, honestly. We can help out with this, and more. Don’t be stupid.” Haru frowned at him and Rin waved his hands at the camera “All right, sorry, sorry. And thank you!” He smiled sheepishly. It was pretty obvious to Haru that thanks to everything that has happened Rin was pretty independent but it honestly wouldn’t hurt him to ask for help now and again.

They chatted a bit more about inconsequential things, then Rin signed off, tired from practice himself and Haru and Makoto puttered around, getting ready to have dinner. Makoto had put his iPod into the dock and they were enjoying some nice music too. Haru had to giggle once or twice at the way Makoto danced around the table while setting it up.

He was stirring the soup when he heard Makoto’s ring tone blare from the other room. Choosing to concentrate on the food, he mostly ignored it until he heard his own name spoken.

“Yes, we were talking to Rin on Skype.” A pause then “He’s fine, yes, coming back soon, for the Nationals. We can’t wait to see him.” A longer pause, and Makoto clearing his throat. “Ah, I don’t know when I’ll be back tonight, I will probably stay over. I have some things to do for University and Haru’s helping.” Haru raised his eyebrows because while Makoto did have to get some studying done, he definitely wasn’t helping him with it. In fact, he was doing some of his own readings. “Of course I do. I don’t know mother, soon maybe.”

 _Ah! Of course._ Haru frowned and stirred the soup again, before removing it from the stove. Makoto needed to talk to them soon, Haru was sure of it, yet at the same time, he didn’t want to say anything and maybe pressure him. Makoto’s sigh reached him, the call apparently done so he walked out, carrying their bowls.

Putting them on the table, he looked up at Makoto who was standing next to the window, looking out, while his finger traced the bluebell flowers.

“Your mother?” A single nod for an answer and Haru walked up to him, embracing him. Makoto sighed again, his own arms coming around Haru.

“She called the apartment but I wasn’t there. She said that I am always with you, and wouldn’t it be better if I tried spending some time with my University friends too. Haru…” Makoto paused and Haru just held him, letting him get the words out.

“Haru, I’m going to go see them, this weekend.”

He jerked his head up, surprised by the statement, feeling his own arms tighten automatically around Makoto.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Come on, let’s sit down.” Makoto tugged at his hand and they settled on the couch, Makoto folding his larger frame so as to almost tuck himself into Haru’s side. It was unusual for them and Haru just tried drawing him even closer. Makoto looked somehow smaller and vulnerable suddenly.

“It’s time. There’s no point in postponing it further. April’s getting closer too.”

“Makoto,” Haru kissed his temple, threading his fingers through Makoto’s hair, “you don’t have to. Who cares about April. We’re going to do this as it suits us, not someone else. We’ll wait, I’ll wait. Don’t rush it for me.”

Makoto was quiet and Haru wondered what was going through his head. He was uncharacteristically reticent, he was usually the one to more easily express his feelings. But Haru didn’t want to push, not on this and yet at the same time, he wanted to do something to help.

“It’s an excuse.” Makoto spoke suddenly and Haru felt like he missed a vital part of the conversation. “Sorry?”

“It’s an excuse.” A deep sigh from the man in his arms and Haru sensed him relax, as if he was suddenly better somehow. “April, it’s an excuse, that's what. I know I have to do this but I’m afraid so keeping April there, in my thoughts, is somehow giving me an external reason to go and do it. In the end though, it’s about me. I really need to talk to them, I can’t go on like this much longer. I feel like I am keeping a huge part of my life a secret from them, a huge part of myself, and this is not who I am. I can’t do that any longer. I can’t make up excuses why I’m with you, I can’t pretend. No, it’s time.”

Haru just stroked his hair, understanding finally.

“So, when are we going?”

“No.”

“Makoto?” Haru was stunned, there was no way he was going to let Makoto go on his own.

“You have to stay. No Haru, listen to me.” Makoto moved so as to be able to look into his eyes and Haru tightened his hold. “You cannot interrupt your training now, plus I’m just going to go for the weekend and I’ll be right back. You’d be tired. Another thing is,” and Haru could see his shoulders slump, “that it may probably be for the best if I go on my own. You saw how she was over the trip and everything after. It may be better if it is just me.”

Haru could certainly understand that, but at the same time, he just didn’t want to let Makoto go on his own. He didn’t know why but everything in him was telling him to go with Makoto.

“Please. Just, let me do this.” Makoto’s soft whisper reached him.

Haru knew he couldn’t hold his desire ahead of Makoto’s, no matter how much he thought this was wrong. He could continue arguing or he could at least make something easier for him. He nodded and felt the tension leave Makoto’s body. He relaxed against him again, and Haru resumed stroking his hair. “You’ll take the key to my house though. I’ll feel better if you have it with yourself.”

“It’s still on my keychain.”

“Good. Promise me, you’ll go there if you need to.” Haru was certain he had to say it, that strange feeling of urgency had gotten a grip on him and just would not let him go. “I would feel better, knowing you have it, and will use it, if needed.”

“Haru. Of course I promise.” Haru could see Makoto was trying out a small smile for his sake, even if his heart wasn’t in it. “It’s going to be all right, I’m probably over-reacting.”

_But what if you aren’t?_

Haru tightened his hold and hoped that the heavy feeling in his gut would go away.

~~

“Nanase, you meeting Tachibana tonight?” Sousuke was looking at him in a weird way and Haru wondered what the question meant. He was too preoccupied with other things though to worry about Sousuke too so he just shook his head. “All right, we’re going for drinks.”

“What?”

“Get dressed, we’re going for drinks. I’ll wait for you in the hall.” Sousuke barked and then walked off, leaving Haru staring at him.

_I do not have the patience for this._

He kept grumbling to himself, all while getting showered and dressed, but went to meet him anyway. A part of him that he refused to acknowledge did relish the idea of having something else to get his mind off all of this at least for a little while.

They soon found themselves at the same little restaurant like all those months ago, and Sousuke ordered for them both. Haru just couldn’t be bothered to argue about his food choices at this moment.

“What’s wrong?” Sousuke finally said, when their meals were placed in front of them.

“You really are blunt.”

“Your swimming was just fine today to someone who doesn’t know you Nanase but I can tell when you are distracted. I just ordered meat for you and you didn’t say a thing. Something is wrong.” Sousuke cleared his throat then looked at Haru straight in the eyes. “You were there for me, when I needed it most. It pains me to say it, but we are friends Nanase. I’m here to listen.”

Haru opened his mouth to protest but couldn’t get the words out. He could deny it, like he had to Makoto or even Rin, countless times before but denying it directly to Sousuke would be different. Denying it to him would wipe away everything that had happened and his sincere feelings that drove him to help him at the time.

He nodded. “We are. It’s about Makoto.”

“Is he all right? I know you didn’t break up.”

Haru pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and sighed.

“He’s worried about his family, about coming out to them. Some of this is my fault.”

Sousuke took a hold of Haru’s hand and tugged. “Nanase, you aren’t making any sense, start from the beginning. How is this your fault? Did you agree to come out to them or what?”

“Yes, we talked and we agreed we’d be open about it. Makoto says he can’t pretend any longer, that keeping this part of himself a secret from them is not something he wants to do any more. But I’m afraid that he’d also wait longer if the possibility of being found out in other ways didn’t exist. And it exists because of me, and what might happen with the Nationals and heightened interest in who I am. You know how people get.”

Sousuke sighed “Eat. Come on, fainting won’t do either one of you good.”

They both started eating and Haru had to admit he felt a little bit better. He sipped his tea and tried not to think of anything. Sousuke was done first and he twirled his tea cup, completely silent, obviously waiting for Haru. He couldn’t bring himself to hurry though because this was the first time he felt a little of the burden he carried lifted, simply because he told someone what was bothering him.

It wasn’t until he was finished that Sousuke spoke again. “I take it you haven’t told this to Tachibana?”

Haru shook his head and grabbed his own cup. “I don’t want to burden him further.”

“All right, I can certainly understand that. Nanase, let me ask you something. You respect Tachibana, right?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then why don’t you believe him when he says that he wants to do this, for the reasons he told you?”

Haru just started at his tea. He was silent for a long time but Sousuke just waited, so finally he spit it out.

“Because I’m afraid it’s going to go badly. And I keep thinking, maybe if he just postponed it a little, maybe it won’t.” Haru shook his head, knowing how it all sounded. “I know it’s stupid.”

“I honestly don’t think it’s stupid that you don’t want to see the person you love, hurt.” Sousuke said, leaning towards him. “Think about it Nanase. That’s what all this is about.”

Haru put his cup down and rubbed his face. Sousuke was right, that was what this was about. He didn’t want to see Makoto hurt. He didn’t want to see him hurt because of something they shared. He didn’t want to see him hurt because of Haru. He knew how Makoto was. If things went badly, well, Haru was sure he couldn’t even imagine it.

“You’re right.”

Sousuke nodded. “That’s normal. But Nanase, Haru … you have to allow Makoto to make his own choices.”

“I don’t know if he’s truly aware of how big the price may end up being.”

“And you say you respect him!” Sousuke huffed. “Trust that he’s thought this through. Trust in him to make his own choices, aware of potential consequences and still being willing to take the risk. You have to trust him, or your relationship is not going to work.”

“But what if he regrets it? Regrets us?” He barely heard his own voice, it was so low that for a second he even wondered if he’d said it out loud.

“That’s the risk you’re going to have to take. There’s always that chance but it’s worth it because being with that someone who fits you perfectly, is worth it.” Sousuke emptied his cup and sighed. “When are you going? Are you going to miss any practices, I didn’t see anything on the roster.”

“Friday morning. But I’m not going, he’s going on his own.”

“What? I figured you’d want to go, considering.”

Haru sighed. “I do. Believe me I do.” He waved his hands around, feeling exasperated. “I want to more than anything, I don’t want him to be alone. But he said it might be better for him to go on his own, that it might make it easier. As if they even have to know I’m there! I could stay at my place.” He huffed, his hands falling to the table, his shoulders slumping. “I understand though. At least I got him to take my house key, just in case.”

There was a bit of silence and then the sound of Sousuke’s soft laughter was heard. His eyebrows rose because he really didn’t see what was funny but Sousuke shook his head and sighed. “You two. He doesn’t want you there because he doesn’t want to see you hurt. He knows you’re going to blame yourself, at least partly. Tachibana is not stupid, he probably has a pretty good idea of how you feel, at least some of it. He knows you better than anyone else after all. He’s trying to spare you, more than likely. I am not going to deny that a part is probably the reasoning he gave you, especially if he has cause to believe it won’t go well?” He looked questioningly at Haru, who nodded at him. “Well then. It sounds to me like it’s a combination of these things. You both don’t want to see the other hurt but Nanase, some things cannot be avoided. You know that.”

“Take a day off on Friday anyway, you won’t be able to concentrate and better not risk injury.” Sousuke patted his hand and Haru looked up at him. “When this is over, talk to him. He needs to know how you feel. And trust in him, and what you have with him.”

Haru nodded. He was aware Sousuke was right and though his heart was still heavy, he felt a little bit better and clearer.

~~

Haru turned and hit the alarm. It hadn’t woken him; he’d been up for over an hour already. Makoto was snuggled into his side, they’d fallen asleep that way. He was pretty sure he had been awake too but he didn’t want to say anything. He wasn’t even sure what he could have said. They’d spent a quiet evening together, watched a movie then retreated to the bedroom. They’d clung to each other, and finally managed to fall asleep but it had been a restless night. Haru kept waking up and he could often feel Makoto jerk at his side too, as if abruptly woken from sleep.

No matter how much they may have wished to though, they couldn’t stay this way. He tangled his fingers in Makoto’s hair and whispered “Awake?”

“Yes, for a while now.” He could feel Makoto sigh and then move to get up. “Do you want the bathroom first?”

Haru shook his head, “Go ahead, I’ll go make breakfast.”

Watching Makoto pad into the bathroom, he wondered just how this day would turn out. It was pointless to go over the same thing over and over again, so he finally made himself throw the covers off and get up. Cooking turned out to be a blessing, the rhythmic chopping and stirring calming his mind a little bit, and he had everything ready by the time Makoto emerged. He was dressed and carrying a little bag with him, that he dropped near the couch.

“I still think I should go with you, at least to the station.”

“I don’t think I could stand saying good bye to you there. It’s better like this.” Makoto leaned in and gave him a light kiss, then sat down. “I am not truly hungry but I know it’ll be better if we eat. Both of us, sit down Haru, stop hovering.”

Haru huffed then plopped down on the chair. Makoto was right so deciding that it’d probably make it easier for them both to try at least and treat this as just a quick trip home, he started on his own breakfast.

“Are you going to see Nagisa and Rei?”

“I probably should. They’re going to be angry if they find out I spent the weekend there and didn’t see them. Of course, it depends on everything but I’m going to try.”

“Say hello from me.” Haru smiled and Makoto nodded. “Of course. I will probably try and go see the club too, if I can, Gou will want to say hi. She must be missing Rin. I asked him about it and he says they’re in touch but it’s not the same. Oh and coach Sasabe too. He has really helped us out, so I’d like to. Naturally, it all depends.”

“Of course, send my regards to them as well.” He almost said the same about Makoto’s parents but stopped himself in time. It had always been automatic, he’d known them most of his life and they were always more than nice to him. He wished that they were just misreading the whole situation.

They finished up in silence. Haru wasn’t sure what else to say and Makoto seemed lost in thought. He took the dishes away and quickly washed them, then returned to the other room to find Makoto putting on his jacket. Glancing at the clock he saw it was truly time. He stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, looking at his feet until he heard Makoto approach.

Looking up, he managed to give him a small smile and got one in return. Makoto just sighed and brought his hands around Haru’s shoulders, drawing him in for a hug. Haru’s own came up to rest around Makoto’s neck. They stood there and then slowly kissed, and it was like an affirmation of who they were and what they were to each other, to Haru. He reluctantly pulled back, their lips parting and then caressed Makoto’s cheek.

“You were right, I couldn’t have done this at the station.”

Makoto huffed, a genuine smile gracing his face now and he turned to pick up his bag. Throwing it on his shoulder, he gave Haru another peck and then headed for the door.

“Call as soon as you are able to.” Haru felt strange, saying that because of course Makoto already knew that but he simply couldn’t help himself. He needed the words out there.

“I will. Don’t worry so much Haru.” Makoto was giving him one of those gentle looks of his and suddenly his eyes were tearing up. Sousuke was right. _But I need to be strong for Makoto too._ “Have a good trip. We’ll talk soon.”

“Soon.” Another kiss and Makoto was off, leaving Haru standing in his living room, feeling completely bereft and very, very afraid.

~~

_Now what?_

Haru was sitting on the couch and he had no idea what to do with himself.

He had cleaned the apartment and even folded some of their clothes. He hoped Makoto wouldn’t mind his things were now sorted according to colour. He had tried reading one of the books about swimming but his concentration was so shot he spent twenty minutes staring at the same page, not having gone past the first sentence. He briefly wondered if perhaps he should have gone to practice after all, to take his mind off of it all but then decided that Sousuke was right. He was so preoccupied he probably would have forgotten the need to turn and swam straight into the pool wall. This though still left him with having to find something to do.

He glanced outside and saw it was a beautiful day, not a cloud in sight. Frowning, he decided that staying in was definitely the wrong thing to do. He’d just end up going over it all in his head, imagining the worst and time would probably crawl.

Throwing on his outwear, he got out, locked the door and headed towards the station, without even thinking much about where he was going. He simply needed to move.

The train ride passed uneventfully, Haru forcing his mind to turn to his swimming practice and the event coming. He sighed but had to admit he couldn’t wait for Rin to get there. He missed him and his limitless energy and the way they drove each other to greater heights. They’d only share two events this time but still, it’d be enough. How Sousuke was going to handle it all was a completely different question though. He was training Rin’s rival now, not to mention the hidden feelings he harboured. Haru was almost positive that there was something on Rin’s side too but to be sure, they’d all have to actually be in the same place. _And when did I become a matchmaker?_ He shook his head at himself and then realized he’d come to a stop.

Haru blinked.

Snorting but not truly surprised, he smiled. He had somehow ended up at the gardens Makoto and he had visited that day when he was still trying to figure out all that he felt for him. He remembered being confused and then they’d come here. That was probably the perfect place to be in at a time like this. _  
_

Koishikawa Korakuen was beautiful even when there was hardly any green visible. Most importantly, it was quiet. Haru guessed it was kind of understandable but mostly he felt lucky and tried not to question it. He walked along the paths, just letting his own mind quiet down too, and the feel of nature still sleeping, resting before the upcoming burst of life everywhere helped.

He paused by the bridge where they stood that day, then walked on, his feet carrying him to their rock. He smiled to himself, thinking how they had all these things now, Makoto and Haru’s little things. Their rock and their tea and their Sunday lunches.

The maple tree was still there, still leaning as if reaching towards the water. There were no swans now, too cold he guessed. He slowly sat down and stared across the water.

Something Sousuke had said that day had stuck in his head, about Makoto needing to know how Haru felt. Of course this was true about their current situation but Haru couldn’t escape the thoughts how Makoto didn’t truly know, not really because Haru had never told him.

He was pretty sure he was not wrong about Makoto’s own feelings. It was all there, in the way Makoto looked at him, the way he touched him. How he cooked with him and laughed with him and bought him matching presents. How he took care of him when he was too tired after practices. How he held him when they were sleeping.

It was so embarrassing talking about some things. But Makoto should know. Haru hoped he did.

_I wish I’d told him before he left._

He sighed. There was nothing he could do about it now. He couldn’t just call him. You simply didn’t say such things over the phone. He’d have to wait but he promised himself that no matter any feeling of embarrassment or awkwardness, Makoto deserved to know and he would do his best to tell him as soon as possible. After all, one never knew what was coming next.

Haru took out his phone and looked at it. Maybe a text? He couldn’t call but writing it out may be the thing. He fiddled with it, typing out several things, then erasing them. Nothing sounded right, in fact it all sounded stupid to him. _A text is even worse than a call._ Deciding that there was truly nothing to do but wait, no matter how difficult it was right then, he was just about to put it back in his pocket, when the phone rang.

He fumbled with it, almost dropping it to the ground from the surprise then wearily looked at the caller’s name. _Rin. Of course you’d call right this moment._ He sighed then answered it. If nothing else, it would help pass the time.

“Hello.”

“Haru. Where are you?”

“Eh?”

“I just talked to Sousuke.”

“Eh?”

Haru could hear Rin sigh. “Sousuke told me, about Makoto and his family. And you don’t get to be mad at him for telling me.”

“He had no right.”

“Haru. If this were about us, you’d tell Makoto right? You share things, when you’re troubled. He’s not going to tell anyone else. He told me.”

He wondered if Rin even understood the implication of his own words but chose not to dwell now. “Yes, fine. You’re right. I’m not angry. I would have talked to Makoto.”

“Right. He’s worried about both of you. Plus, I may have harassed him a little to spill. I can always tell when something is bothering him.”

“Of course you did. It doesn’t surprise me one bit. Really Rin, it’s fine. I understand. Makoto won’t mind either.”

“Good. Now one more time, where are you?”

“At a garden, staring at a lake.”

“In Tokyo, in other words. Of course you’re near water, you wouldn’t be you if you were anywhere else.”

Haru frowned. “Yes, in Tokyo. I thought you said you heard it all.”

“I have, and that’s why I am calling. You’re all idiots.”

“What?”

“Why are you still in Tokyo Haru?”

“Because Makoto said…”

“I know what Makoto said. I also know Sousuke’s right and Makoto doesn’t want you there, in case it all goes wrong, because he doesn’t want to see you hurt. He cares about you. In the same way you care about him so you’re trying to respect this wish, even though it’s hurting you both.”

Haru stared at the lake.

“Why am I still in Tokyo?”

“Because you’re an idiot.” Rin huffed. “And you’re worried about Makoto and it’s incredibly difficult to have a clear head when those you love are troubled.”

“I have to go.”

“Wait!” Rin exclaimed. “I’m emailing you the details now. You can pay me back later.”

“Eh?”

“I’ve booked a plane for you, you’d never make it tonight otherwise and I think Makoto would probably want to talk to his parents right away if he can. It’d be torture for him if he lets it linger. You’re lost as it is, never mind now. All right, I’ve sent along all the details. You have time enough I think.”

“Rin. Thank you.”

“No thanks necessary. Now go! And Haru?”

He could hear Rin’s voice go softer, quieter.

“I hope it works out. If it does not though, he’s going to need you. Remember that.” Haru opened his mouth to answer but the only sound from the other end of the line was the dial tone. Rin had hung up.

Deciding he’d think about it on the plane there, he checked his email, quickly scrolling through the details and saw he had just enough time to go back home and pack a small bag. Pocketing his phone, he set off towards the station at a brisk pace.

~~

Haru was sure hours had never passed more slowly.

He managed to reach his apartment in good time, packed his bag and was out the door in ten minutes. Knowing that he would feel better once he was at the airport, he hopped a train and arrived with plenty of time to spare. Not being able to sit down, he’d paced until his flight was announced, not even bothering to get something to read during it. He was aware it’d be pointless because he would not be able to settle down.

Still, once he was actually on the plane, he was a relieved, like some of the weight had been lifted. Haru realized just how much the notion that he might not be there for Makoto troubled him. The idea that he could be hurt and Haru wouldn’t be there, it was unthinkable. The rational part of his brain knew that there were bound to be moments in their lives when this would happen but he was also certain he could do something about it right then. This was something he could influence. He would be there even if he spent three days skulking around his own house, in the dark if necessary.

But he would be there.

It was mostly how his thoughts went, on a loop inside his head, the plane ride taking what he felt was forever, then the same during the train ride. It was already getting dark. He wondered if he could get home without anyone seeing him. It would be really awkward if someone did and then they met Makoto or his parents and commented on seeing him too.

Haru put his hat on, even if it wasn’t so cold and then made sure to keep his head down, while he passed the familiar houses. Luckily, it was dinner time and there weren’t that many people on the street so he managed to reach the familiar stairs with no unfortunate encounters. Getting his keys out, he quickly unlocked the door. The place was dusty, unsurprisingly so as no one had been there for many months. He dropped his bag then walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, making sure to keep his phone with him.

He drained it, then filled it again and settled down. He filled his mind with random things. What he knew was still stored in the freezer because he still had to eat; what to do if Makoto decided to drop by and check on the house during the weekend anyway; what to do when he called.

The clock on the wall sounded the hour, and carried on.

He heard no keys in the door and was glad.

The soft ticking soothed him and the fact that he was finally there, just in case, made him relax, so he drifted off to sleep. He was dreaming of turbulent seas and a fishing boat thrown about on the waves when the sounds of the door closing jerked him awake.

He glanced at the clock and saw it had been a bit more than hour since he’d arrived. He hurriedly got up because it could only be Makoto so he walked out to meet him.

“Haru?”

Makoto’s voice sounded soft and tentative to his ears and he could see Makoto’s hand reaching out to him, as if to check if he were truly real. Haru smiled slowly and nodded.

“I am really sorry but I couldn’t stay in Tokyo. I had to come.”

He waited but Makoto just continued looking at him. Just as he was about to repeat his words, he spotted Makoto holding the bag he took with him this morning, when he had left for Iwatobi. Which meant that he planned to stay there, in Haru’s house and not in his parents’ place.

“Makoto?” He could hear his own voice tremble slightly but he didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t know what to do.

The sound of Makoto’s bag falling to the floor was loud in the silent space, and then Makoto was moving and Haru found himself gripped in a tight, fierce embrace. He could do nothing else but hold him back, just as fiercely. One of his hands slipped into Makoto’s hair and pressed him further forward, not that there was any movement possible, as Makoto seemed to be holding on to him as if his life depended on it.

“Haru.” A soft, almost cry, from Makoto’s lips reached him and Haru held on, and gently kissed his temple.

He could hear the clock ticking in the background, and Makoto’s soft breaths.

They just stood there, holding each other, nothing but a soft calling of his name occasionally being uttered by Makoto.

Haru was lost. They couldn’t just stand there indefinitely, so he tried moving but Makoto would not let go. “Makoto.”

“Don’t let go.”

The words were almost whispered, and the anguish and despair he could hear in them made Haru’s heart clench.

“Don’t let go.” With more urgency this time and he nodded.

“Never. I am never letting you go.”

He briefly wondered now if this was what Rin meant. Such declarations did not come easily to him yet the words were there and out before he could even think.

“I am never letting you go.”

He could feel a short nod of Makoto’s head, now buried in the crook of his neck. He could feel the fine trembling that was going through Makoto’s body, the hitches in his breath.

He could feel the hot tears start.

He could feel his own heart break, break for Makoto’s that was already broken.

~~

Haru knew there were some things he would always remember in life.

The first time he swam. The first time he met Makoto. The first time he raced against, and met, Rin. The first time he felt like he was connected to Makoto more than anyone else, when they talked on the stairs.

That day when they swam the relay as kids. That day Rin left and the day Rin came home. That day when they swam the relay as young adults.

That time when Makoto almost drowned. That time when they fought and Haru felt like he was drowning. That time when they made their peace and he could breathe again. That time when he knew they were both moving to Tokyo.

That day when he realized he felt more for Makoto.

That day when he realized Makoto felt more for him.

That day when they kissed.

Haru knew there were some things he would always remember.

This day when Makoto’s soft crying hurt him more than anything else in the world. This day when the knowledge there was nothing he could do to make it better, when the feeling of being utterly powerless to help the one person he cared about the most, hurt him even more.

This day when he knew his own hurt was worth it, it was all worth it if he could be there for Makoto.

This day when he knew, truly knew what love actually was.

~~

“I’m sorry.”

Haru shook his head “Don’t, Makoto, please.” He laid another kiss to Makoto’s hair because he needed to touch him in some way, do something, no matter how trivial. “Don’t ever apologize for this.”

Makoto was silent but slowly straightened up from their embrace. His eyes were puffy and red, and he wouldn’t look Haru in the eyes. Haru wasn’t sure which of those things made him ache more.

“Come on.” He took Makoto’s hand and grabbed his bag, then led them to his old bedroom. Makoto followed without words, his head still bowed and then just sat on Haru’s old bed, when gently pushed. Rummaging through his bag, Haru found his sleep clothes then handed them over to Makoto who took them and nodded.

“I’m going to be right back. I just need to get my things, I left my bag in the living room when I arrived.” He gently cradled Makoto’s head and brushed their lips together. “Right back.”

Haru jogged to the kitchen and got a bottle of water for them, then grabbed his bag and ran back. He didn’t want to spend a minute more apart from Makoto. By the time he was back, Makoto was just finishing changing and he handed him the water, encouraging him to drink. He swiftly changed his own clothes then took the water bottle back, put it on the nightstand, turned the lights off and then ushered Makoto into bed.

It took some adjusting but they finally managed to settle down, facing towards each other, their legs tangled and almost no space between them. Haru ran his hand through Makoto’s hair. There was barely any light in the room but enough to see Makoto’s eyes were closed. He kept the motion gentle and as soothing as possible and when Makoto moved even closer, burying his face in Haru’s shirt, Haru kissed the top of his head and let his own eyes close.

The soft sounds of the night surrounded them.

Haru could feel Makoto’s breath slow down and grow steady. He realized he had fallen asleep, tired out completely from the day. He pressed his lips to Makoto’s forehead, and hugged him closer.

He slept badly that night. Makoto woke him up at one point, obviously in grips of a nightmare and Haru had to sooth him, Makoto clinging to him. He wouldn’t talk and it took a long time for him to go back to sleep. Once he did though, Haru found himself unable to sleep so he watched the dark slowly turn lighter, as the sun was rising. He was unsure what was going to happen next. They hadn’t talked at all and while he guessed that it would probably be better for Makoto to do so he wasn’t sure he had it in himself to push for it if he didn’t.

The doorbell suddenly rang in the silence and Haru jerked, startled. Makoto mumbled and tightened his hold on Haru’s shirt. He considered not answering the door but then, who even knew someone was there. Haru slowly disentangled himself from Makoto, whispering he’d be right back and then softly padded out of the room, trying not to wake him further.

He had a pretty good idea who was visiting but he did not know why. He was too afraid to get his hopes up so he just inhaled deeply and swung the door open.

“Tachibana-san. Good morning.”

“Haru.” Makoto’s mother frowned at him. “Makoto didn’t tell me you were both here.”

“He didn’t know.” Haru showed her inside, then followed her to the living room. “I arrived later last night.”

“I see.” She was staring at the window and there was a pause before she turned, asking “Is Makoto asleep?”

“Yes.” Haru could see the disapproval in her eyes but he had no intention or desire to make this easy for her. He wasn’t sure he could ever forgive them for what happened.

“Well, no matter. This works out even better then.”

He lifted his eyebrow in a silent question, waiting.

“I want you to leave Makoto alone Haru.”

“What?” He couldn’t quite understand what she was saying to him. He understood the words of course but couldn’t quite grasp the meaning.

“This is not normal Haru. You’ve been too close, that’s all and being in that big city, in a new place, it just has you both confused. I want you to leave him. I am sure he’ll find a nice girl and everything will be all right then. He can get married, have a family. But if he keeps being around you, then he’ll never have the chance to get himself together. Think of his life Haru. Who is going to hire a children’s teacher who is with another man? Nobody, that’s who. Makoto’s career won’t even be able to start and that’s his dream. You’re just confused, both of you. It’s time to grow up now. Let Makoto go.”

Haru heard the words being said to him and for the tiniest of moments he wondered if she was right.

It was true they couldn’t get married. He was of course aware of how much Makoto loved children, having his own must be something he wanted. There was no disputing he would be a wonderful father. And issues at work were also almost inevitable. They didn’t have that conversation about being open to their families and in public for nothing; it was always going to be difficult.

Except they did have that conversation and they both chose and decided things. As he told Sousuke, he did actually respect Makoto to make his own choices. Nowhere did his mother talk about what Makoto wanted. It was just what she wanted, what she thought was necessary, was proper; where was Makoto in all of that? He didn’t doubt she was convinced she was doing the right thing but she needed to trust her son, support her son. They needed to love him.

He looked at her and realized that he also simply didn’t want to. He was selfish when it came to Makoto. He would fight for him, there was no way he was going to let this happiness, this immense feeling of joy slip away through his fingers. And he knew, he knew that Makoto was the same.

“No.”

He wasn’t sure why she looked so startled at his answer, maybe because his voice was steady and firm. There was no doubt in it, no room for bargain.

“I’m not letting him go.”

Haru could see her blink rapidly then nod her head at him. “If that’s how it is.” She nodded again and turned, leaving him alone in the living room. He could hear the front door closing but he didn’t move.

He knew without a doubt that he could have never chosen otherwise. He felt sorrow it had come to this, immeasurable sadness that Makoto had to deal with his parents rejecting him. He didn’t know what to do or say to help him. The world wasn’t fair but he realized he was being stupid because who said it had to be.

He wished he lived in one where parents always stood by their children.

“Haru.”

The soft voice surprised him, he was so lost in thought he hadn’t heard Makoto come into the room. He watched Makoto approach him, with a strange look on his face and Haru extended a hand towards him. It wasn’t even a conscious gesture on his part, just a need to touch him, be close to him. The need to know Makoto was there, with him.

Makoto took his hand and he couldn’t tear away his eyes from him. Makoto’s gaze was soft and there was a light in it that held him.

“You chose me.”

Haru blinked and smiled. Felt Makoto’s arms embrace him, like they did just a few hours before, with the same ferocity. Felt his own arms embrace Makoto back.

“We chose each other.”

They held each other like that, for a while, in Haru’s old living room, on that morning Haru would always remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's different when it's your own child."  
> I've heard this so many times, from innocuous things to people talking about how their, until then seemingly tolerant parents, suddenly shifted when a black girl came to dinner. In a twist of fate, I heard them from a lesbian girl, about her own parents who were supposedly supporting LGBT rights, and her decision not to come out, a good two months after this chapter was written.
> 
> No matter how seemingly nice, how seemingly tolerant, how seemingly close, we unfortunately cannot be sure how people will react in situations where it gets personal. That's pretty much why this plot point and chapter were born. Thank you for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

#  Chapter 14

 

“Can we go to the beach?”

Makoto’s voice reached Haru who was trying to cook them mackerel for lunch. He’d probably have tried for something else that Makoto preferred but that was all that was in the freezer and he really didn’t feel like going out now to get something else at the market. Meeting someone on the way didn't sound particularly appealing to him but more importantly, he didn't want to leave Makoto on his own. He flipped it so that it wouldn't burn, then craned his head.

“Of course.” He poked the fish around the skillet some more before adding “After lunch?” He was a little surprised that was where Makoto wanted to go but didn’t want to question it.

“Yes, that’d be great.” Makoto sent him another small smile, then shrugged. “Do you mind if we leave talking to Nagisa and Rei for some other time? I just don’t think I can right now.”

Haru concentrated on their meal for a few minutes, finally deeming it done and transferring it to be served, then wiped his hands on the kitchen towel before going to Makoto. He stood up on tiptoes and kissed him lightly, his hands hanging onto Makoto’s shoulders.

“Of course I don’t mind. I am not sure I could handle it myself right now.” He wrinkled his nose and shrugged. “It’s not that I think they’d be anything but supportive but I know we couldn’t hide from them and I don’t think I can talk just yet to others about what happened.” Haru rubbed his cheek on Makoto’s chest and hoped he’d said the right thing. He knew Makoto would be feeling awkward and that it wasn’t in his nature to demand things but he must have been scraped raw inside and talking to others about it just then would be too hurtful to him.

Makoto smiled at him gratefully and nodded. “Lunch?”

“Yes, mackerel I’m afraid.”

Soft laughter reached him and he didn’t fight the smile that bloomed on his face. He was sure things were going to be difficult for a while but any moment of lightness brought him joy.

“It’s almost comfort food now Haru, I don’t mind. We should always have some in the fridge in the future.”

“You won’t get any complaints from me though I do hope we get to eat because you too feel like it and not just because you’re indulging me.” He grinned as he was spooning rice into the bowls and then felt Makoto’s arms embrace him and a soft kiss land on his temple.

“I spoil you so Haru.”

He wriggled and then turned in the loosened hold.

“You do.” He was aware his tone of voice probably surprised Makoto, it had come out quite serious compared to Makoto’s joking, but he honestly did feel spoiled sometimes. All the little things he did for Haru made him feel cherished and yes, loved. He didn’t want to lose even a single opportunity to tell Makoto how he made him feel. “You do.” Their lips met in a slow, languid kiss before Makoto broke it and smiled sheepishly at Haru.

“Let’s eat.” Haru tugged at his hand and they brought their food out, then settled down. They didn’t talk much just enjoyed their meal, mentioning here and there a thing they wanted to do once back in Tokyo, keeping mostly away from any Iwatobi themes. Haru was glad for inevitably everything would have ended up on the one topic they both didn’t want to bring up at this time.

Makoto offered to do the dishes and Haru agreed, wanting to have a quick shower. He was grubby from the trip and wanted to refresh himself. He didn’t take too long, not wanting to leave Makoto waiting and indeed by the time he was out of the bathroom, Makoto was dressed and ready for their walk. He didn’t waste any time then getting dressed himself and soon they were out the door, Haru leaving it to Makoto to choose where they would be going.

They hadn’t gone but a few steps when Makoto suddenly took his hand.

Haru almost stopped walking but caught himself in time. They were on the street and anyone could see them. But they had talked about it and decided to be open. He realized this was just Makoto taking a step in that direction. He worried a little bit about whether Makoto was doing this just to spite his parents and promised to himself to talk to him about it. Now, he was just going to enjoy being with his boyfriend. He squeezed Makoto’s hand to show him it was all right and they continued on.

A few people passed them by, most not giving them much attention. He saw one elderly couple he vaguely recognized take notice of them but they didn’t comment, apart from nodding in greeting. Makoto addressed them by name so he wondered if they were friends of the family. He glanced at him but Makoto seemed unperturbed by the idea, if they were. Slowly they reached a more secluded part of the path and then passed onto the beach but Makoto just continued walking on.

He finally halted by a rocky area and then climbed atop a nice flat rock, patting the space next to him. Haru didn’t hesitate in joining him. They were sheltered from casual glances there and could have all the privacy they wanted. He looked over the sea, feeling the wind playing with his hair, and leaned into Makoto.

“Why here? I thought you’d choose something away from the water.”

Makoto smiled a small smile and shook his head. “It’s why I picked it. I kept thinking today how we have so few moments to truly enjoy and that who knows what might happen. I’m not going to let fear rule me Haru, in anything.”

Haru just nodded at him. There was that little niggling worry but before he could say anything Makoto went on “I don’t mean to suddenly start doing crazy things but Haru, I’ve wanted to hold your hand before you know. When we were at the lake. I wanted to but I didn’t. After yesterday, I realized I should not let those feelings of fear hold me back. I’m sorry I sprung it on you though.”

“No, it’s fine. We talked about this already. We’re not going to hide so this is a part of it.”

“Still I should have asked.”

Haru leaned in and deposited a soft kiss on Makoto’s lips then shook his head “I could have stopped you, you know. Plus as I said, we’ve already talked about this. I told you, I want you. I want to be with you. I don’t want to hide.”

“She told me the same thing you know.” The sudden change of topic had Haru blinking but he kept quiet because he had a feeling Makoto needed to say this. “That it’s not normal. It’s not natural. That I am confused and I should just find a nice girl and everything would be all right. He just stood there, silent. I tried…“ He rubbed his face with his hands and Haru caught one of them, tangling their fingers together, wanting to offer some silent support. “I tried explaining we’re happy. I’m happy. How I feel but,” Makoto helplessly shook his head, his eyes shiny, “but they didn’t listen. And I am not going to deny who I am, or who we are. I refuse.”

Haru gazed over the water, the smell of the ocean air distinct and calming to him. It was cloudy and windy, the waves breaking upon the shores.

“You cannot see if your eyes won’t open.” He could see Makoto glance at him from the corner of his eye so he turned to face him. “Maybe one day.”

“Maybe. I wish I could say it doesn’t matter, like people do in the movies. It does.” Makoto’s voice was choked up. He finally turned to Haru and tried smiling. “It hurts. But this is why I want to live free. I am never going to regret choosing us Haru and I want to live my life to the fullest. To make it worth the hurt.”

“Some of what she said was true.”

“Some. We can’t get married in Japan. It is possible there might be problems in the workplace. I know how things are, I’m not blind to realities, neither are you. But these are all the things I wanted them to support me in overcoming, not use them as excuses.”

“I do think she means well Makoto. She does love you, they both do.”

“Yes, I know.” Makoto was looking into the distance now and Haru wondered what he was seeing, what he was remembering. “They just don’t love me enough, it seems.”

“Makoto. I know they support you financially. If they…”

“No. They said they would continue to, through University, it was their “duty”. I think they're more worried how it would look from the outside if they cut me off. I would have to find a job after it but I would have anyway. I may transfer to the dorms, as that’s less expensive but I’ll think about that later. They don’t want me to come stay in the summer though. She said that I wouldn’t have anyway so not like it matters. Why would it matter indeed, that they don’t want me home.”

Makoto’s voice was bitter and Haru could do nothing more but sit next to him, a silent support. He was too afraid to ask but Makoto seemed to have understood anyway.

“I can still see them. They don’t want me to mention why I’m gone, apart from working hard or anything about us, but yes, they’ll let me make short visits and see them if I agree to it.”

They sat in silence, the only sound that of the waves. The wind tangled Makoto’s hair and Haru couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. He looked a little bit different right then. It was like there was an underlying sadness to his usual gentle countenance. He wondered if he was imagining it and yet knew that he wasn’t.

“Makoto.”

“Hmm?”

His own thoughts from before came back to him, mingling with Makoto’s from a few moments. He turned to look at Makoto again and took his hand. Haru knew what he wanted to say. He had been aware of his own feelings for a while now and he wanted so badly to be able to explain to Makoto what he meant to him, truly explain it to him. But somehow saying it was difficult for him. He thought it shouldn’t be, especially now, with everything that had happened with Makoto and his parents but it still was.

“I like holding your hand.”

The sudden smile that bloomed on Makoto’s face made him feel warm and glad he’d said it. And he could say that easily. It was such a small thing after all. Like so many other small things.

“I like our Sunday dinners. I like our teas and our rock in that garden where the swans come to say hello. I like being quiet with you and talking to you. I like how you make me smile and even more so, I like to make you smile. I like how your eyes squint a bit, all gentle, when you do. I like how you enjoy when I cook even if you don’t really love mackerel as much as I do. I like making chocolate with you. I like how you make me feel and I like making you feel the same way. I like how you take care of other people. I like how you take care of me and I like taking care of you.”

Haru saw Makoto’s eyes fill with tears but he couldn’t stop, not then. He let go of his hand and cradled Makoto’s cheeks in his hands, giving him a soft kiss.

“I love you Makoto.”

He smiled a small, sheepish smile and thought that maybe it wasn’t so difficult after all.

Suddenly he was grabbed and pulled into another fierce hug that he returned with all his might too. He felt Makoto’s tears on his neck again but this time he knew it was all right. This was all right.

“Haru.” Makoto’s voice broke and he shook his head, then moved to look Haru in the eyes. “I love you too.”

Haru kissed him again, slow and long, before moving back and smiling helplessly at Makoto.

“I know. How could I not?”

_And I do know. I know it every time he looks at me like he is right now. When he smiles at me like he is right now. I know because he chose me when forced to make a choice no person should ever make._

_How could I not?_

“It’s nice to hear it anyway.” Makoto was blushing, then shrugged. “Some things are nice to hear.”

“Yes.” He was sure he would hear it from Makoto again. He thought he probably wouldn’t find it that hard to say it himself either. For Makoto, he was finding, a whole lot of things were less difficult than he thought they would be.

“It’s strange.”

Makoto’s voice brought him out of his own musings and he tilted his head in a silent question.

“Life, it’s strange.” A small, sad smile was aimed at him before Makoto looked at the ocean again. “How yesterday my heart was breaking. How it feels full now, even if battered and bruised. How it feels all the more because of yesterday’s hurt.”

“I wish I could fix it.”

“Oh Haru. How I wish it too. But it is not our fault, this is not ours to fix.”

Haru remembered his own worry from before and though Makoto had said he was never going to regret them, he still felt like he should ask.

“I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I am never going to Haru. Never.” Makoto’s large hand cupped his face, pushing up, so that he could look at him. “We’re going to argue sometimes and be angry and even unintentionally hurt one another but I’m never going to regret this love. This much I know.”

Haru could only nod his head then, feeling settled and relieved.

“We still don’t know if it is going to affect your swimming. I am afraid of the same things Haru.”

“If it does, it does. It’s worth it.”

“Haru.”

“No, Makoto. You see, you don’t understand.” He smiled a full smile then and kissed Makoto again then settled in his embrace, feeling Makoto’s arms come around him, feeling like this was home.

“I love you the most.”

He felt Makoto’s hands almost painfully clench around him, and Makoto’s head coming to rest on top of his. Haru looked out onto the ocean, still smiling.

_How strange, this thing called love, is._

~~

They spent some more time there at the beach, before heading back to Haru’s house, holding hands once again. It was a quiet evening, so different from those in Tokyo when even late at night the city was bustling with people hurrying somewhere.

“Did you come by plane?” Makoto suddenly halted and Haru was forced to stop too. “I didn’t even think about it, what with everything.”

“Ah, yes. It was one way though, I need to book us return tickets.”

“I already have my train one.”

“We’re going home by plane, tomorrow morning. We can have our lunch in time.” Haru decided he honestly didn’t feel like arguing about this of all things and tugged at Makoto’s hand, resuming their walk. He sensed Makoto fall in step with him and smiled a small smile.

“Haru? Makoto?”

Makoto groaned softly next to him and he turned towards the voice, only to see Coach Sasabe who approached them, a small confused smile on his face.

“I didn’t know you were back in Iwatobi! Why didn’t you come and say hello!”

Makoto tensed next to him and Haru sighed quietly, wondering why this had to happen now, of all times. “Ah, we are just here for a short visit, it was unavoidable and we’re off tomorrow morning. We would have come otherwise.”

“Ah, all right. I know how it is. How is Tokyo? I saw you made it onto the team for Nationals Haru, well done.”

“Eh?”

“You didn’t think I’d keep my eye out for you? Oi.” Coach Sasabe shook his head though he was still smiling. “Of course I am and it’s the age of the internet, you can find out anything fast. Plus, there was a little article in one of the sports periodicals though I am sure you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about Haru. He hasn’t changed much, has he Makoto?”

“Ah, no. He still focuses on swimming only.”

“Not surprised! How is University going? Are you thinking about internships already?”

Haru could see Makoto was completely taken by how the conversation was going and he was struggling to take it all in. “I am. I might apply to one in Tokyo actually.”

“You should try more than one! I am sure you’ll have no problems and if you do, even though I don’t see it, you know you can always come to the club. The door is always open.”

“Ah, thank you coach Sasabe,” Makoto was rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand and obviously unsure whether to say anything else when Sasabe-san interrupted him.

“I do see how things are new though, ah?”

Haru was startled but their old coach was smiling at them, his posture relaxed.

“Yes.”

Sasabe-san nodded and grinned. “Well, maybe not so new.”

“Eh?” Both Makoto and Haru spoke at the same time and then looked at each other before laughing softly.

“Of all the things life has deposited in front of me, this one is the least surprising probably.” He lightly slapped Makoto on the arm and smiled again. “Some people are simply meant for each other and anyone with eyes can see it. Be happy!” He continued walking then and just grinned at them across his shoulder, adding “Come see me when you’re here again. Or I might come see you for Nationals Haru. Who knows! Until next time!”

With that and another wave he was off, leaving Haru and Makoto looking after him. Haru cleared his throat and looked at Makoto. He worried how he would feel, such easy acceptance would sting a bit but Makoto looked happy and relaxed.

“That went well.”

“Yes. I’m happy that it did.” Haru saw him smile and then tugged at his hand to get them moving.

“I’m hungry. Mackerel?”

“You don’t have anything else in the freezer Haru.”

Haru shrugged. It was the thought that counted. Makoto bent a bit then, his breath tickling Haru’s ear.

“I’ll still love it though.”

Haru smiled at that and then they were off.

Makoto aired out the bedroom while Haru cooked then took a quick shower. They ate their dinner slowly then booked the tickets for the morning and watched a spot of television.

It took a while to find a comfortable position in bed again, their legs and arms bumping, his childhood bed simply not big enough. It was good that they didn’t mind the closeness, on the contrary. They finally settled down though, Makoto’s head resting on Haru’s chest, Haru’s fingers tangled in his hair.

“I can’t wait to get home.” Makoto’s whisper reached him and Haru could only agree. He was more than ready to be back to Tokyo, to resume their life. Their friends and dreams were waiting.

~~

Haru was showering after his practice that day, feeling pleasantly tired. It had been a good one. They’ve been back to Tokyo for a few days now and he’d resumed with his schedule. Mizushima-san hadn’t asked any questions and Sousuke hadn’t bothered explaining how he had covered for him. Haru did thank him though, of course. Sousuke had quietly asked how it’d gone and his face had been set in a grim mask when Haru just shook his head at him. It did make him wonder how Sousuke’s parents would react to the idea of him being with Rin. That possibility seemed more and more likely and Haru had thought of Rin too, more than once. He held his father at such high regard and cared for his mother greatly. Nothing could be done about it though but support them, if the time came.

He sighed under the water spray knowing his own thoughts were leading him down this road for a reason. He was yet to talk to Mizushima-san and time was running out. Makoto had been more subdued since they'd returned, unsurprisingly so, but he'd been particularly unhappy the one time Haru had casually mentioned it. That this was something he’d have to do alone was clear to him, he could talk about it after it was done. There truly was no choice. He didn’t want to put his club and more importantly, his coach, into a position where they’d be faced with this question by reporters, without having any knowledge of it. He also had no idea how the sponsors would react so with the Nationals looming ever closer, his path was clear.

He rinsed out his hair and then got ready. He didn’t have an appointment but figured it wouldn’t hurt to try and see if he could talk to Mizushima-san anyway. They had just finished practice and he was aware there were no other swimmers on his schedule today so maybe he was still in his office, dealing with other things. Walking up, he tried going through what he wanted to say but decided to just leave it be. It’d just get him anxious, as he wasn’t very good with words anyway.

“Good afternoon, Yoshida-san.” He bowed at Mizushima-san’s personal assistant, who greeted him in return. “I know I don’t have an appointment but would it be possible for me to see Mizushima-san anyway? Or perhaps make one, the next few days would be preferable.”

She told him to wait so he moved away a bit from her desk to give her privacy, as she picked up the phone. He hoped that his luck would hold.

“Come on in, Nanase-san, he’s expecting you.”

He thanked her and smiled, then knocked before going in. Mizushima-san was seated behind his desk, typing something at his laptop and just waved him towards the chair, obviously intent on finishing whatever it was. Haru settled down, and then gripped the arms of the chair with his hands. He didn’t want to appear nervous but he couldn’t help himself.

“Ah, Nanase.” Mizushima-san closed down his computer, obviously done. “Sorry for the wait. I didn’t expect you today, did something happen? Practice went fine.”

“Yes, practice went great, I feel like I’m progressing well.”

“You are. You’re right where you should be at this point, I’m quite pleased with both you and Yamazaki. I think there are going to be some surprises at Nationals to quite a few people this year. I am not unhappy about this, let me tell you. Now, if it’s not that, what is it?”

“It kind of is about that.” Haru cleared his throat and clenched his hands together. Mizushima-san was patiently waiting and Haru was ridiculously glad for it. He thought about how to explain this and sighed.

“Whatever the problem is, I am sure we can work it out.”

“I’m gay.”

Haru could swear he could hear his Makoto voice yelling at him for just blurting these things out.

“Ah, I see.” He peeked at Mizushima-san who stood up and was rubbing his cheek. “Well, I wouldn’t say this is a problem.”

“Mizushima-san,” he knew it could represent one so he wanted to explain why he even came here with personal information but he was already being waved off, so he halted.

“Yes, I understand and I thank you for coming here. It is true that it is better that I know. As you are aware I own the club, so there are no other people to consider. I take it that you are intending to be open about any possible questions?”

“Ah, yes. I am in a relationship so there is that too. We don’t intend to hide.”

Mizushima nodded at him. “There is no reason you should. I don’t think it’s useful to pretend there aren’t going to be issues, as you probably already know,” Haru nodded at him, looking down, his thoughts filled with Makoto, “but I am not one of those. We’ll deal with any if they come up. I would say you’re jumping the gun but then I don’t think you are. I do feel like Nationals is going to launch you into the spotlight, especially once you start competing on the international scene.”

“Thank you Mizushima-san.”

“It’s nothing. I wish things like these were unnecessary. One day perhaps.”

Haru looked at him and nodded. “One day.”

He thought of that phrase a lot as he rode the train back home. One day. So much uncertainty and at the same time hope, coupled together in two short words that kept repeating in his life. For some things, that day may never come and for others, it may not be so far away. Admittedly, not even that long ago it had been far worse for people in his or similar situations, so progress was being made. It just always seemed slow when it affected people personally.

He sighed and then remembered he had to get some shopping done before heading back to the apartment. He had just walked out of the station when his phone vibrated. Stepping aside he saw that it was an email from his mother. Haru had a pretty good idea what it contained and wondered if it would make it go away if he simply deleted. She was truly trying though and it wasn’t her fault that things had gone as they had with Makoto’s parents, so he chastised himself for being unfair. Sighing, he tapped on it. She was indeed announcing her visit for the weekend.

Deciding that this would wait, he walked into the store and headed straight towards the sweets section. He didn’t have much time but he could probably whip up some chocolate cupcakes for tonight’s dinner. Makoto loved chocolate. Once locating all he needed there he slowed down a bit because next on his list was meat and it always made him wrinkle his nose. He could make it a bit better with lots of vegetables though so he spent a good portion of time browsing through those, making sure to get the fresh ones if possible.

It didn’t take him long to reach home after that. He smiled when he glimpsed Makoto’s shoes neatly left in the genkan, then took his own off and walked in.

“Hello.”

Makoto looked up from his book and smiled at him. “Hello.” He was wearing his glasses and Haru noticed that he really, really liked how he looked in those. Letting the bags down for the moment, he walked straight to him and caught his lips in a heated kiss.

“I don’t mind a hello like that Haru but, any particular reason?”

“Eh,” Haru could feel himself blushing but shrugged. “I like you in glasses.”

“Oh.” Makoto was now turning pinkish and Haru solved their problem by initiating another kiss. It distracted them quite wonderfully, he thought as he gave Makoto’s lower lip a gentle nip, even if he did say so himself. Makoto’s eyes were unfocused and he gave him another peck before straightening up.

“Haru.” He whined and Haru felt smug. “I still have things to finish.”

“I have dinner to make. You have time.” He ignored Makoto’s adorable pout and picked up his bags again before walking into the kitchen. He washed his hands then went straight to making the sweets first, as the meat and veggies were pretty straightforward _._ One thing was certain, he needed some more sauce recipes. Getting an actual cookbook was probably not a bad idea either and he wondered if Makoto wanted to come along. He could help pick. They could get a desserts one too, while they were at it.

He quite liked that notion so filed it away to mention to Makoto later on. He wondered if they could squeeze this in before his mother got to Tokyo. A new recipe might be risky but then if it were something he could do, it bore thinking about. Especially if Makoto could help out in some way, Haru knew he’d love to do more than just make them tea later, no matter how long he spent selecting the perfect new one, as Haru knew he would. He nodded to himself, and then got to cooking.

Haru was stirring the sauce, while the cupcakes were baking when he heard Makoto enter the kitchen.

“What is that lovely smell?” He peered over Haru’s shoulder at the oven.

“A little dessert, nothing special.” Haru jerked his head towards the strainer. “Be useful. Vegetables are done.”

Makoto laughed softly and went to obey. Haru thought that his heart was a little lighter every time he heard that sound.

“All done.” Makoto kissed the top of his head and chuckled. “And now I am off to set the table before you assign me to some task that’ll cost me my fingers. I still need them.” With this he ambled out of the kitchen leaving Haru shaking his head because though not a good cook, Makoto was not a terrible one any longer. He certainly wasn’t setting water on fire any more. Haru briefly wondered if Rin would be disappointed.

Deciding he better watch what he was doing if he wanted to keep his own fingers he focused on finishing up. He was quite happy when everything came together just right, and throwing the sprinkles over the final cupcake, he stepped away, stretching.

“Done?”

“Yes, all ready.”

“You’re tired from practice Haru, you shouldn’t have bothered so much.”

“It’s no bother.” He smiled and then shrugged. “Cooking relaxes me, I simply enjoy it. Come, let’s get this served.”

They laid everything out and Haru had to smile at how well practiced they were at this. Lately such things were more and more obvious to him when before he never would have noticed. It made him feel all warm inside, while at the same time a tiny part of him wondered about the future and dreamed of years to come.

Makoto seated himself then waited for Haru who was still bustling about, getting everything ready. Once he sat down they started eating and that’s when Haru realized how hungry he actually was. He truly shouldn’t be surprised considering his day but he hadn’t felt it until that moment.

He was well through his meal before he could slow down a little bit, so he relaxed back against his chair and sighed happily.

“Tough day?” Makoto asked and Haru had to nod.

“It was a good practice. I'm feeling great lately. Mizushima-san said he thought so too, I will be ready for Nationals.”

Makoto looked up from his rice with vegetables “Oh, you’ve spoken about it?”

“Ah yes.” Haru looked down and thought might as well get this part over with. “We did. I also told him I have a boyfriend.”

Makoto choked on his tomato and Haru had to pound him on the back, before passing him his water. Maybe he really should work on this blurting things out bit.

“Haru!”

He shrugged apologetically but was glad it was out. At least this part was.

“He was very understanding and has said I have his support. He doesn’t know if it would even affect anything but it was all right. He did appreciate that I came to talk to him.”

“Well, yes, considering, I am sure he did. Oh I’m so relieved!” Makoto lunged towards him, his own food forgotten, and brought their lips together. “I am so relieved!” He grinned at Haru and he just knew what Makoto was thinking of. He watched as Makoto settled back into his chair, still grinning and smiled back. “I was so afraid it would go badly.”

Haru nodded. “I know.” He picked up his own bowl and then paused. “I was a little bit anxious too.” He patted Makoto’s hand and they returned to their food. It wasn’t until sometime later that Makoto spoke again. “Shall I make tea?”

“Yes, why not. I’ll wash these and there are chocolate cupcakes of course.”

They bustled out and then settled on the couch, turning the television on. Makoto was enjoying his third, while Haru was on his first, when his phone went off again. He leaned to get it only to see his mother’s name again.

“Haru?” Makoto’s worried voice reached him and he realized he was frowning. Knowing there’s no point in postponing further he showed him the email.

“Oh.”

He scooted over to be close to Makoto and cupped his cheek. “It’ll be all right. We’ll cook and have a nice dinner and that’ll be that.” Sighing, he shrugged. “I know it’s probably not the best time but I am not sure how to say no to her.”

Makoto nodded “You shouldn’t. She’s been really nice to us and she said she was fine with it all. I just worry it’ll be a little bit different when she actually sees us together.”

Haru swiped his thumb across Makoto’s cheek, trying for gentle reassurance but knowing nothing would actually work until Makoto saw for himself that Haru’s mother was fine with them being a couple. Too much had happened in such a short time for him to be anything but apprehensive.

“It’s only natural.” He didn’t try to say anything else because it would obviously be pointless. He had no fear himself though, at least about his mother, and only she was coming this time. If she had hinted at his father joining her, he would have found some excuse to avoid them. “I was thinking though, remember how we said we’d cook for her?”

“Ah, yes. I do think I should stick to selecting and brewing the tea.” Makoto sheepishly smiled at him and Haru was glad to see his attention diverted.

“Actually, while I was in the kitchen earlier, I thought how I’d love trying some new recipes. We’ve been going over the same sauces and combinations for a while now and while I’ve found some good things on the internet, a cookbook seemed like a good idea. I thought we could go to the bookstore together and maybe pick one out, especially if I can find something we can both help out with, to make it more fun.”

Makoto was looking at him sceptically and Haru had to bite his lip or he would have burst out laughing. He truly wasn’t that bad.

“I’ll keep you company, I would love that. We’ll see about the cooking, all right?”

“All right.” He leaned in for a kiss and hummed when Makoto happily obliged. “You have more studying to do, right?”

“Ah.” Makoto’s head dropped onto Haru’s shoulder and he whined. “Yes, unfortunately. I have to get through all of the readings for tomorrow and then do a bit of research for one of my papers.”

Haru giggled, he couldn’t help himself then kissed Makoto’s hair. “Oh come now, you know you love it. And we could take a bath later together, once you’re done.”

Makoto lifted his head and squinted at Haru. “You’re evil, how am I supposed to study now?”

“The sooner you’re done…” Haru laughed and leaped off the couch to avoid Makoto’s swat then gave him a quick peck and picked up a book to read. “I’ll be in the bedroom.” With that parting shot he was off leaving Makoto groaning into one of the pillows.

~~

“Ah Haru, sorry I’m late!”

Haru just waved him off and smiled. “Don’t worry about it. Did you get everything done?”

“Yes, I had to stay a bit to consult a professor on that paper and then Himura got his hooks into me. It took Matsushita showing up to get him to stop talking.”

“How did he accomplish that? It would be good to know for the future?” Haru was now grinning because while really nice, Himura was a chatterbox.

“Ah,” Makoto was blushing now and Haru raised his eyebrow at him, “he told him it was obvious I was meeting you by my impatience and would he please let me go?” Haru laughed and shook his head. “Well it was effective.”

“Not to mention so embarrassing. I will have to thank Matsushita on Monday though, I have a feeling he got a nice talk about how Himura is still the only lonely guy in our group.”

“So Kagome did find a girlfriend?”

“Yes! We don’t see him at all anymore, he’s always off somewhere.” Makoto shrugged but didn’t seem too bothered to Haru. It was true that he always spoke of him the least, unlike the other two and Koizumi.

“Shall we then?” He pointed to the bookstore that had a big flashing sign proclaiming it to be Yukina Books. It was a large, six story building and Haru saw Makoto crane his neck to get a look at it.

“This is big.” He smiled and shrugged. “But I guess chances are we’ll definitely find what we’re looking for then. Let’s go.”

They entered the building and Haru realized right away they’d lose a lot of time just wondering about so he approached one of the employees, easily identifiable by their white dress shirts and blue aprons and asked where he might find cooking books. After getting the instructions and thanking the man, they went up to the literature section and soon found a rather large selection of cookbooks.

“Haru, how are we to find what we are looking for?” Makoto waved his hand around. “There are so many!”

“I assumed there would be, when I went looking for an appropriate bookstore. I got some recommendations from some of the cooking sites, for the kind of things we might be looking for, so we’ll start there.”

“Ah good. Do you see any of those?”

Haru nodded and then tugged on Makoto’s hand to lead him the right way. They were engrossed soon, flipping through the few books whose titles Haru had memorized and it didn’t take long before it became apparent that more than one would probably be good. “I think we can make this one,” Haru was tapping at a recipe on one of them and Makoto frowned. “I think so. I might actually be able to help with some of this!”

Smiling at him, Haru nodded and gave him the two books they’ve chosen. “Let me just get a quick look around the desserts section. You want to look around while I do?”

“I know you just want to hide what you’re going to make.” Makoto playfully rolled his eyes at him and pointed left. “Meet you in twenty at the registers?”

Haru nodded, gave his arm a quick squeeze and wondered off. It wasn’t exactly that he wanted to hide the book he picked but he really did enjoy making these little surprises for Makoto. He usually ate little of the sweets he made because he was in training and had to watch everything but Makoto just loved them, particularly if they contained chocolate. Haru also approved as it made him happy, and since he was always in motion, whether in school or at the pool, and he ate healthily with Haru, a few more calories would not hurt him.

He was flipping through a book, thinking this might be good, mainly as it held a recipe that caught his eyes online once when a voice came from his right. “Ah, may I help you somehow?” Haru looked up and saw a younger woman, obviously an employee by her outfit, smiling at him. “No, thank you! I’ve found the ones I want.” He waved the book at her and added it to one other he was already holding.

“I’m happy we were able to provide what you needed.” She smiled at him again and he nodded, checking his watch and seeing he had five more minutes to meet Makoto. “It’s rare to see young men go for the more complicated books.”

Haru blinked as he realized she continued the conversation and cleared his throat. “Ah. I’ve always cooked. I’m just interested in expanding that now.” He started walking towards the registers and she fell in step with him.

“Anything particular you’ve found in the dessert one? I am always looking for good recipes myself.”

Wondering if it was strange, he simply didn’t want to share that with her. It was just a recipe but still, he wanted to keep it to himself. He spotted Makoto near the registers, which wasn’t that difficult with his height, and shook his head. “Nothing in particular yet. I will have to try them first. Will you excuse me?” He smiled a small polite smile and then dashed over to Makoto who was frowning at him.

“Made a friend?” His voice was a bit clipped and Haru's eyes widened. He didn’t expect this to be Makoto’s reaction, even though now that he thought of it, it did seem pretty obvious that the girl was interested. It had completely passed over his head though.

“No.” He shook his head then grabbed Makoto’s hand and dragged him to the register to wait for their turn. He saw Makoto blush from the corner of his eyes but he really thought this settled the matter nicely. He smiled at the cashier and handed him the books, before paying and then leaving. Makoto was smiling at him and that was all he cared about.

~~

“Mother! Come in, please.”

“Haruka. You are looking well.”

“So are you! Let me get your jacket.” Haru helped her out of it and then went to put it away while she took off her shoes, grabbed the slippers he had prepared for her and walked into the living room. Makoto was already on his feet, nervously wiping his hands on his jeans but Haru could see her smiling at him, before she embraced him in greeting. He saw Makoto’s eyes close as he relaxed and was glad that he thought to let her know what had happened in advance. He hadn’t said much; just that it had not gone well but he thought she should be informed before coming over in order not to bring up anything painful by accident. Her presence alone was going to be stressful on Makoto, Haru was sure of it, so he was glad to try and do at least something to make it a tiny bit less so. Just yesterday Makoto had been particularly grim; silent and clinging to Haru, and Haru had been half tempted to postpone this.

“Ah, you haven’t done much with the apartment.” She looked around as she hadn’t been there since Haru had moved in. “I brought you a little gift.” She handed him a bag and he sighed. “You really shouldn’t have, you’ve done plenty already!”

“Nonsense. I was certain this place would need a little colour, so those should help, though I must say,” she spoke as she walked towards the window, “this is lovely.” She gently touched the bluebells before looking at him. “This was a gift?”

Haru rolled his eyes at her. “Makoto’s.” The man in question was still standing next to the couch and was now blushing.

“Of course. It is wonderful Makoto. Well-chosen too.” Haru was left to wonder if she knew what it meant because she didn’t say anything else but continued to stroke the soft petals. Shrugging to himself because even if she did, it would just be another good thing Makoto had done for him though he did think of it as their flower now.

“Thank you Nanase-san.” He cleared his throat and was rubbing his neck awkwardly. “A nice older lady at the nursery helped me.”

“Did she? Of course. Well-chosen indeed.” She walked to the couch and seated herself before inquiring about Makoto’s studies. Haru thought it a safe conversation so he just pointed to the kitchen and then moved to check on the food.

They’d had a lot of fun and Haru was quite thankful that he had thought of the idea. Makoto had been so engrossed in trying to follow instructions that he hadn’t had the time to be nervous about it all. His mind had been completely distracted, mostly because Haru had kept teasing him about the secret dessert in the fridge that he was going to have to wait to see. It had caused a very nice few moments where Makoto had tried bribing him with kisses to find out what it was so Haru was pleased indeed.

He checked on the main dish that was almost done and then peeked into the living room.

Makoto’s face was animated and he was waving his hands around, obviously trying to explain something he’d learned and his mother’s attention was completely focused on him. He’d stop but then she’d ask another question, setting him off again. Haru couldn’t be more grateful. From the sparse few things Makoto had mentioned over the past months, his parents never expressed much interest in any of it, once they realized he would be going to Tokyo. He didn’t know how his mother guessed this was the right road to take but he was glad for it anyway. Maybe it was just one of those mother things. Haru was aware that nothing would be able to make up to Makoto for what had happened, even if his parents one day changed their minds, he would always bear those scars but maybe, just maybe, they could all help him heal in the best way possible.

He turned to the meat and checked that it was done. His mother loved eating out and he remembered that she had once or twice mentioned a French restaurant his father had taken her to so he’d picked onion soup followed by a main course of beef with cranberries. He wasn’t sure how that would taste at first but when he sampled just a bit earlier, he found the taste divine. He hoped the other two would like it too, he’d never tried making something that different from their usual fare.

Haru poked his head into the living room. “You two ready for dinner?”

“Of course! I’ve been looking forward to this Haru!” His mother smiled and Makoto nodded. “Oh did you help in the end Makoto, or are we just going to sample your famous tea in the end?”

“I helped! But we are definitely having some tea later,” Makoto blushed then added, “if you’re in the mood for tea that is.”

“I am sure I will be. This is more between dinner and lunch so once we’re rested, we can all enjoy some. Do you need any help?” She turned her head towards Haru but he just shook his head then beckoned Makoto over. It didn’t take long before they’d set the table, Haru getting the soup first and some baked bread to go with it, and then they were seated. He noticed she was smiling at him and he raised his eyebrows, only to have her smile wider and shake her head at him. “I think you’re better at this than your father and I, even after all these years!”

They started on the soup when Makoto almost moaned and then blushed bright red. “I am sorry but this is so good! Haru, this is great!” Haru’s mother was nodding from his other side. “Yes, this is excellent Haruka, we’ve had this in a restaurant your father took me to a while back and I swear this is better. What made you pick this?”

“Ah, thank you.” He looked down, feeling a small happy smile appear, and shrugged. “I remember that, you told me about it and that you liked French cuisine so I thought I’d try. This seemed doable. I’m glad you both like it. Please, enjoy the meal.”

They dug in and there wasn’t much talk until they were done and then Makoto got up once again to help Haru with the dishes. It didn’t take them long and once they tasted the meat Haru was showered with compliments again. He waved them off, just happy they were enjoying it all. As the meal progressed he kept being distracted by the small hums from Makoto. He was happy Makoto was enjoying himself but it was doing strange things to his body and his mother was right there. He cleared his throat and tried concentrating on the food. It truly was delicious and he vowed to try more from that cookbook and soon. Next Sunday sounded good to him, particularly as it would again be just the two of them. Maybe he could properly enjoy those hums then.

_I really need to stop thinking about this._

“Ah Haru!” His mother’s voice acted like a cold shower and he was absurdly grateful for it. He looked up and saw her point to the plate. “You could be a chef you know. This was all so wonderful! When I come back for Nationals you owe me another one of these, especially as I hope we will be celebrating.”

“Shouldn’t you two cook for me then?” He teased and saw Makoto splutter around his mouthful.

“That’s not a bad idea. What do you say Makoto?” She asked him and Makoto just stared at her. Haru wondered if he’d have to give him a slight shove under the table to get him to unfreeze but he suddenly cleared his throat and managed to answer. “I’d like that very much.” He smiled bashfully and Haru wanted to kiss him right then and there. He settled for taking his hand instead which made Makoto look at him with a wide-eye look.

“I’ll look forward to it then.” Haru nodded once and smiled at his mother in thanks. He recognized what she was attempting and he couldn’t be more grateful for the effort.

“I need a little breather now, since I imagine you made dessert too?” Haru nodded at her and she grinned. “So, since I already mentioned it, I am coming to see you at Nationals Haru. I am afraid your father has to work or he’d also come but I expect Makoto to accompany me if that’s all right?”

Makoto was nodding his head already “Of course! I’d love to! I think Haru said he can get us tickets through the club?”

“Yes, it’s no problem, we all have available ones for family. Hamasaki told me they’re excellent seats too so you two should be fine. I’ll see if I can speak with him, so that you can be with Nagisa again. I am not sure if his parents are going this time.”

“Hamasaki, a friend from swimming? Wait, Nagisa?” His mother looked completely confused so Haru hurried to explain.

“Yes, a friend from swimming, from the club. He’s also competing, only in breaststroke, he’s a great talent. And Nagisa is his sister actually, we found it funny too especially as she’s as vibrant as our Nagisa.”

“She’s lovely!” Makoto jumped in, he’d kept in touch with her ever since that night Haru knew. “She’s in medical school, though she used to swim. She’s specializing in paediatric sports medicine so we have a bit in common.”

“A colleague of mine, how wonderful. It’ll be a pleasure meeting her then. It’s nice you’re making some friends there Haru.” She raised his eyebrow at him and he glanced away. He really wasn’t as hopeless as people thought. He didn’t have to answer because Makoto once again jumped in, probably sensing it would be best. “Yes, we’re all good friends. I think we go out the most with them and Nagisa’s boyfriend.”

_I have forgotten his name again._

“Shiro.” Makoto said and then continued as if nothing strange happened. “Well, with them and Sousuke too.”

_It is not strange for us I guess._

Haru smiled and then returned his attention to his mother who looked confused again. “Sousuke? Oh right, Rin’s friend. You mentioned him a few times.”

“Ah yes. He is Rin’s friend though ours too now.” He saw Makoto smirking at him and decided that ignoring it would be best. “He is actually working with me at Ryuujin, as he’s Mizushima-san’s protégé as well.”

“Well that’s quite a coincidence!”

“Yes, isn’t it?” Makoto was still smirking at him so he decided he definitely needed to get away from that conversation.

“You’ll meet him at Nationals I am sure. Rin’s coming too, as you know, so it should be fun!”

“Only you two would call your rivalry fun Haruka.”

Makoto snickered and Haru sighed. Really, they were not playing fair, ganging up on him so he clapped his hands “Dessert?”

“I’d say so, how about it Makoto?”

“Yes, that sounds great. He refused to tell me what it is though.”

“Let me try and guess. Considering what we ate … something with apples?” She grinned at him and Haru could only nod.

“Yes, Tarte Tatin.”

“Ooh Haru, I love those. Have you ever tried it Makoto?” She asked him and when he shook his head, she waved her hands excitedly at him. “You’re going to love this then. I’m so glad he picked this.”

Haru laughed at her enthusiasm then hopped over to the kitchen. He was just putting the pieces on plates when he heard Makoto cooing behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he had to laugh as Makoto’s gaze was locked onto the dessert. He’d brought their empty dishes but Haru ended up having to take them from Makoto’s hands because he seemed so focused on the sweets.

“Come on, I’ve got it.” He handled all three plates and they were soon back in the living room, Makoto once again humming around his fork.

_I really should have thought this one through._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll of course be consequences of what happened, some more visible, some less so, in this and following chapters, and hopefully it'll be clear how they both grow as they overcome them. Next time some more of the dinner, Haru's mother, the boys talk and have ideas XD


	15. Chapter 15

#  Chapter 15

 

“So let’s hear about this tea.”

“Eh?”

Makoto had a surprised look on his face and Haru laughed then thought it would be better to put him out of his misery. “It’s a sort of a tradition we have now. Makoto picked up a new tea the first time he came over and then another and it went from there. We had to clear up space for it all in the upper cupboard but now we almost have a little collection.”

“And Makoto picks them?”

“Usually, yes. The first tea was a recommendation by Rin’s sister and I didn’t have any luck finding it until I went to a specialized tea shop. The owner is quite friendly, points out when they get something new that she thinks we may like. I am afraid she already knows our tastes by now, with so many purchases, so she has pretty good suggestions.”

“My little tea connoisseurs!” Haru’s mother laughed happily. “That’s just wonderful. All right, so what are we going to taste today?”

“Well, since Haru didn’t want to say what he was making,” he slanted a look at Haru at that, making him smirk, “I had to pick on my own. It’s a strong blend of cinnamon, ginger and pepper, with a few other added things.”

“That sounds lovely Makoto. Do you need help? Come on, let me give you a hand.” She was rising before he even got a sound out and tugged his arm, getting her to follow her to the kitchen. Haru relaxed on the couch, listening to the soft murmur of their voices and the sounds of the dishes clanking together. He remembered how he wasn’t really happy about her visit and felt remorse. Maybe this was exactly what Makoto needed and he could admit, what both of them needed.

“Haru? Are you falling asleep?” His mother’s voice came from above him and he blinked his eyes open. “You must be tired.”

“No, no, I’m awake. Just relaxing.”

She pushed the bangs off his forehead then cupped his cheek. “I’m glad. Come on, tea’s ready.”

Haru stood and walked to the table where Makoto was already waiting to hand him his cup. It smelled amazingly and he inhaled deeply, letting the rich smell fill his lungs. He could definitely smell the cinnamon. Looking up at Makoto he just jerked his head towards the couch.

“Ah. Sure.” Makoto looked at him with a slight frown but then took his own, and settled down while Haru’s mother turned her chair to face them. Haru sat next to Makoto, then snuggled into his side. He could feel Makoto stiffen slightly but he ignored it, curled up into his side and soon he could feel the body next to him slowly letting go of the tension.

“This is a strong one but just how I like it. Well-chosen Makoto.” She smiled at them. “You are going to have to give me directions to this place, it seems like you have found a right gem. I might be going back to Kyoto stocked with tea!” She sounded delighted so Haru smiled and closed his eyes, listening to Makoto’s explanations and suggestions of various blends. He fell into a light doze and didn’t complain when one of Makoto’s big hands took his cup then fell around his shoulders and brought him closer, before moving to his hair, his fingers weaving through the unruly strands. He sniffed, his face buried in the crook of Makoto’s neck and let himself relax even further.

He had no idea how much time had passed when he became aware of the quiet female words. It took a few seconds to remember his mother was visiting them.

“You don’t need to hide that from him Makoto.”

“It’s just, I don’t want to trouble him. It hurts him, I know.”

“It will hurt him more if you hide from him when you’re sad. He knows you too well to miss it. Let yourself grieve when you feel like it and let him be there for you. It’ll outweigh any hurt he may feel. He will want you to. He will need you to, if you’re to build a life together.”

Haru could feel Makoto give a shallow nod, his fingers still in Haru’s hair. His fuzzy brain registered the last sentence his mother uttered and how Makoto didn’t protest but he was too sleepy to think of it.

“I’ve already told Haru this. We can choose our family Makoto. You two have already chosen I think.” Haru heard padding of feet and he could now smell her perfume, as if she was right there. “You have your friends too and I’ll always be here for you boys. Now don’t ever be afraid to show how much you care for my son Makoto, I consider him lucky to have you.”

Haru wondered what happened to have prompted the conversation but at the same time he felt an infinite wave of love towards his mother for being so open to Makoto and for so staunchly standing by them. Her hand landed on his hair then, stroking lightly, and he pretended to stretch and blink his eyes open as if he had just woken up.

“I fell asleep?” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, must have been more tired than I thought.”

“It’s all right Haru, I know you’re training hard! I’ll leave you two now, I’m off to the hotel. I have to meet some friends tomorrow, so I’ll say my good byes now to you two, especially as we’ll be seeing each other soon enough.”

“I’ll email you the details Nanase-san, about the competition.”

“That’s great Makoto, thank you. Plus I’d love being able to contact you by more than just phone if needs be, this one here is hopeless sometimes.” Haru blushed but she was right, there was no denying it.

“Thank you both for a lovely day.” She hugged them both, first Makoto then Haru, and kissed his hair. His arms automatically clenched around her and he hoped she understood. By her gentle eyes and the pat on his cheek that followed, he was pretty sure that she had.

They saw her out, waving at the door, before returning to the living room.

“You’re awake but I am suddenly sleepy.”

“Actually I don’t mind just continuing, I am still tired myself. But you were so comfy and all that food and tea and I was out like a light.” Haru embraced Makoto, kissing him lightly and felt Makoto’s arms come around him.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to because of me.”

Haru huffed and rolled his eyes. “I don’t have to do anything, I want to do things for you though.” He saw Makoto blush but he wanted him to know this. “But I am still tired and in need of sleep. Plus, we’ve got tomorrow all to ourselves, no guests, no work, and we can just enjoy the day.”

“True. All right. Sleep time.”

They went through their routine quickly, settling down in their customary position. Makoto’s arm came around him and it wasn’t long before Haru could hear his breathing even out. His mother’s words came to him, that they were building a life together, and no matter how much his brain tried telling him it was too soon to think of such things, he knew deep down she was right.

~~

“Haru.”

He could feel Makoto’s hot breath up against his ear and he shivered. He was warm though and didn’t feel like moving from being wrapped up in Makoto, so he just huffed.

“Haru.”

“Hmm?”

“Awake?”

“Not really.”

“Yes you are.” A kiss to his ear and he shivered again.

“No, I’m not.”

Makoto chuckled and slipped his hand under Haru’s shirt, rubbing one of his nipples. Haru moaned then snuggled back further into Makoto, only to feel him hard already. His other nipple was being teased now and Haru couldn’t keep his hips still any longer. Makoto moaned softly at that before sucking on his earlobe. Haru caught his head, his fingers tangling in Makoto’s hair and he craned his neck, angling for a kiss. An eager Makoto was more than happy to do so but his hand pressed on his stomach when he tried turning in his embrace.

“No.” Makoto’s husky voice sent shivers down his spine. “Like this.”

He could only nod and arch his back further when Makoto’s hand went lower to palm him over his sweats.

“You are awake.”

Haru couldn’t help himself so he snickered.

“I can’t believe I just said that.”

Haru tugged on his hair and claimed another kiss. “Well, it’s true. And it’s your fault too. So you better do something about it.” His lips were still twitching and he laughed, only to be joined by Makoto. “Hmm, yes, what should I do?”

Haru pushed his hips back, hoping to express his own desires that way because he was certain there was no way he could say anything at that moment. He wasn’t sure it’d ever be easy for him to say directly what he wanted. Makoto’s hand though was back and it slowly stroked him through the thin material so all thoughts left his mind and he just concentrated on sensations.

Makoto’s lips latched on to his neck and he craned his head to give him better access, not able to keep his moans in whenever a breath of air passed his wet, sensitive skin. When Makoto tugged on his pants, he quickly took over, leaving Makoto free to get rid of his. Soon they were naked, back to front, and Haru groaned because the sensation was amazing. It was like Makoto was completely encircling him and he revelled in it.

His hand returned, all slick and Haru lifted his eyebrows. “Makoto?”

“Oil.”

Haru hummed and bit his lip. Seemed like he was prepared but Haru really didn’t mind. Really. Especially when his hand took a hold of his erection and slowly pumped it a few times. Makoto swiped his thumb over the head and Haru couldn't keep his hips from bucking. He could only clench his fingers in Makoto’s hair and try to hold on.

Makoto went back to mouthing his neck, sucking at the tendon where it met his shoulder, before biting down. His brain short-circuited for a second and he was vaguely aware he shouted but everything else was drowned out in the incredible sensations Makoto was creating.

“Haru?”

He briefly wondered if it was actually expected of him to form coherent thoughts right now. He wasn’t sure he could so he just hummed in question.

“I’d like to try something. I mean … it’s not … it’s just … “

Haru remembered his previous notion about verbalizing certain things and understood quite well why Makoto was hesitant. It also made him feel good that Makoto was checking with him about anything he wanted to do. He was certain he got what Makoto was trying to say and he was definitely ready to try something more than what they’ve done before this.

“Shh. It’s fine. I trust you.” He tugged Makoto’s head close and kissed him again. Their tongues touched and if Makoto’s weight hadn’t been pressing against him, he would have turned for sure. As it was, he was forced to break their kiss, letting go of Makoto’s hair before nudging his hips back once. That set Makoto in motion. He let go of Haru which got him to emit an unhappy whine. A light chuckle came from the man behind him, and then Makoto moved away which prompted another whine.

“Impatient.”

“Yes.”

He could admit that much because it was true. Makoto made him feel things he never thought possible before, he made his whole body sing and he was not happy when that got interrupted. He could hear sounds now, and his head thumped into the pillow in front of him. He groaned because his mind helpfully supplied the image of Makoto palming himself, his hand slick with oil.

“One day I am going to watch you do that.” His voice was rough and low, and he had no idea where the courage to say that came from but he heard Makoto’s breath catch at the admission and the little moan that reached him made him feel bold. Maybe he could rethink that notion of not being able to verbalize requests if it got such reactions out of Makoto.

Soon Makoto’s hand was back and he didn’t think of anything for a few minutes as Makoto teased him and then swiped at that place underneath the head that drove him wild. His hand let go though, which was probably good because he could already feel his stomach muscles tensing and the heat pooling there, before it sneaked between Haru’s legs. The scrape of Makoto’s nails against the tender skin made him shiver and he groaned. The next he knew Makoto pushed on his leg, so he bent it at the knee a bit, once he figured out what Makoto was thinking.

He shivered in anticipation.

Haru remembered well how incredible it was the last time they did that. Makoto luckily didn’t hesitate and swiped his finger down the cleft of his arse. He couldn’t believe how much he liked the sensation and when Makoto’s fingertip gently pressed against his rim he could only press back and moan. The soft touches were slowly driving him insane and he growled. This got him a nip of Makoto’s teeth and he shuddered when the finger finally breach him. He groaned, his head stuck into the pillow. It burned a little but he was so relaxed that it only took a few moments to get used to the feeling.

Moving his hips to let Makoto know it was all right, soon he felt that finger slide in and out, causing sparks along his spine. He couldn’t stop himself from following it, Makoto leaving open mouthed kisses along his shoulders and neck. He was mouthing that particular spot where they meet and slowly nipping at it, when he twisted his hand and Haru thought the top of his head would explode. He moaned wantonly, trying to keep himself from coming, when Makoto’s finger suddenly retreated. He whined but soon two were circling the rim. He didn’t hesitate but pushed back and soon both entered him. He stilled as this was definitely more but as soon as the first burn passed the pleasure of being filled took its place. He moved again and Makoto resumed the motion of his fingers, sometimes scissoring them and the tiny flecks of burn that were accompanying the pleasure were driving him wild. He could hear his own laboured breathing and the by now continuous sounds he was making but he was too far gone to think of anything.

Just as he figured that a few more thrusts would tip him over, Makoto’s hand withdrew.

“Makoto.” He could have sworn later that it wasn’t a threatening growl but it had definitely been a growl. He would admit to that but he had almost been there. This got him another nip from Makoto, whose hand encircled his cock now and before he could express his pleasure, Makoto moved and his own erection settled along Haru’s cleft. He growled again, this time from the images that were passing through his head and the sensation and weight of Makoto’s cock and he shifted his hips, his hand reaching to encircle Makoto’s neck.

His back arched when Makoto started slowly rubbing against him. Haru wasn’t sure he could even process all the feelings that were being caused by Makoto’s hand and cock at the same time. It was like he was being assaulted by sensations from both ends and it was causing him to overload on them. He closed his eyes and tried riding it all out, his body under the most exquisite assault.

He could hear Makoto’s steady moans too and his hand movements had become more erratic causing Haru to teeter there, on the precipice but not quite reaching his peak. It was like he was being tortured in the best of ways but then Makoto’s hips jerked and the head of his cock teased along the rim of his hole and Haru fell apart. He came in long pulses and soon Makoto joined him. The feeling of warmth against his arse finally did it and he blanked out for a few moments.

When he came to, Makoto’s face was buried in his neck, his breathing a bit slower now. A feeling of a soft kiss made him shiver all over again.

“Haru?”

He couldn’t speak, his brain a complete mush, so he finally turned over and faced Makoto. His face was flushed but he had a spark in his eye and a small smile. Haru gripped his head and kissed him, his tongue gaining entrance and stroking across his palate and across his teeth before sucking on his lip as a parting gift. They both moaned a bit and Haru nipped at Makoto’s lower lip again before smiling himself.

“Good morning.”

This was met by a deep belly laughter from Makoto who flushed a bit more before bringing their mouths together for another heated kiss.

“Good morning.”

“You made a mess of me.”

“Haru!”

He just shrugged and grinned at Makoto unrepentantly. He found that this blurting habit of his could be quite good sometimes, especially when he was alone with Makoto.

“You should do something about it.”

Makoto was now blushing and Haru found a warmth of a different kind fill him up. It was affection and love for the man across from him who could make love to him so wonderfully and then blush about it just a few minutes later. He kissed Makoto gently, feeling overwhelmed by those feelings in the best way possible.

“Bath?” Makoto’s question jerked him out of his mussings and he nodded. “Stay here, let me get the water going.” With that and a quick kiss Makoto was out of bed, leaving Haru to lounge back on the bed and smile stupidly at his ceiling. He thought he was entirely justified.

~~

“Ooh Haru.” Makoto groaned and Haru had to adjust his position. Honestly, nobody should make him feel that way by simply eating but there was just something about Makoto.

They were currently lounging on the couch, with Makoto settled between Haru’s legs, resting on his chest. Soft music was playing in the background and Haru was holding a plate with a piece of the leftover Tatin and feeding bite sized pieces to Makoto. They had taken their bath that had ended up including a bit more than just getting clean and then had decided that since it was so late it was better to simply have lunch. They’d had some soup from yesterday but this time with a salad that Makoto helped with and some baked bread and then had settled down on the couch, with the plate in Haru’s hand, Makoto calling dibs on being the one held. Haru had just smiled and kissed him then.

That’s how they found themselves in this position and Makoto was now moaning around the fork before he proceeded to lick the crumbs off of it.

Haru gave up and his head flopped on the pillow behind him that was propping him up. He groaned and Makoto turned around, blinking innocently at him. He wondered briefly if Makoto was teasing him but threw that idea away. He obviously had no idea what he was doing as he had acted this way when his mother had been there too and there was no way he’d do that in her presence. He was sometimes so adorably self-conscious even when it was just the two of them like earlier that morning, that this was simply just Makoto being himself and enjoying the sweet.

Haru wasn’t sure if that made it better or worse.

“Haru?”

He just shook his head and then offered him another piece. It took a while and Haru’s restraint got tested a few times but finally the sweet was eaten. Makoto put away the plate on the side table then snuggled down, his head resting on Haru’s chest. Haru could feel Makoto’s arms hugging his sides and a deep sigh of total contentment reached him. He pressed his lips to Makoto’s hair, smiling and looped his own arms around Makoto, just holding him in a tight embrace.

It started raining, the slight patter of raindrops hitting the glass mixing along with the slow music creating the feeling of a lazy afternoon.

Makoto hummed occasionally and Haru moved his hand to thread it through Makoto’s hair, playing with the strands. He felt his whole body relax and his mind drift. It didn’t take long for him to notice Makoto had gone quiet and yes, sure enough, when he carefully moved to check, he had gone to sleep. Haru wasn’t too surprised and he was a bit sleepy himself, so settled down for a nap.

By the time he came to, the rain was falling down more forcefully and Makoto was also stirring. He could see him rubbing his eyes with his fist and Haru had to bite down on his lip not to say something. Makoto looked so young like that, like the days gone long past had returned and he flashed back to similar scenes to this, when they had fallen asleep together, for their afternoon naps, in Iwatobi, still children. He supposed that this was why so many things went easily for them now.

“Hey sleepy head.”

Makoto’s head jerked and a soft laughter reached him.

“I can’t believe I fell asleep so easily, when we went to bed so early last night.”

“You were tired and I fell asleep too, so we both needed it.” He looked at the window and the rain drops pelting it and then back at Makoto. “I think I’m also finding I like this lazy afternoon. Just us, no rush to do anything or be anywhere.”

Makoto moved then and soon he was hovering above him, propped up on his elbows. He lowered his head and captured Haru’s lips in a long, drawn out kiss.

“I do too.” He looked like he wanted to say something more but then he just settled back on Haru’s chest and Haru decided not to push. He stroked his hair again and watched the rain fall.

“It’s that when I feel like this, so happy that we are together, that you are with me,” Makoto’s quiet voice reached him after a few moments, “that I can’t help thinking why we’re so wrong in their eyes. Why is this different?” He went silent and Haru was wondering if he should say something when Makoto continued. “Shouldn’t be enough that I’m so happy? We’re both adults, we … we love each other. Why is that not enough?”

Haru’s other arm tightened around Makoto so much at that, that he briefly worried if he was hurting him. He loosened his hold a bit and sighed.

“I don’t know.”

There was nothing else he could say, at least not anything that wouldn’t hurt Makoto further. He really did not know why their child’s happiness wasn’t enough, when it should be. He knew intellectually what their reasoning might be, how they were raised and yet deep down, he still didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why his own happiness obviously wasn’t enough for his own father. His mother hadn’t mentioned him once and he didn’t ask. He wasn’t sure he could.

“I don’t know Makoto.” He whispered and bent, kissing his hair then resumed his gentle strokes. There truly was nothing else to say, no explanations to be given.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

Now this he did understand and it was something he definitely wanted to clear up. He tugged at Makoto, until he lifted up a bit, looking at Haru, blinking rapidly, his eyes wet, cheeks tear stained.

“You didn’t ruin anything.” He gently wiped the tear tracks off of Makoto’s cheeks with his hands, then pushed them both up, so that they were seated, Makoto still cradled between his thighs. “You know what would hurt me? You pretending to be happy, to be all right. You told me that, months ago, remember? When I was having problems with the old coach.”

Makoto frowned and then Haru could see the light of remembrance in his eyes. “Yes.”

“It’s the same for me Makoto. I want us to be together and that means sharing everything. Not just the happiness but the hurts too. Otherwise it’s just half of a life.”

“I know it hurts you too. I know your father hasn’t called yet and this must remind you.”

“Yes.” He wasn’t going to lie, it did hurt. It hurt that Makoto was hurting and his own unresolved situation. “But you not expressing your true feelings hurts much more.” And that was the truth. The idea of Makoto pretending for his sake, while hurting on the inside was what frightened him. “I don’t think I could bear that. We are so much more.”

Makoto’s eyes were shiny again and he nodded before embracing him. His head buried in Haru’s neck, his hands squeezing him, the tears hot on his skin. He heard Makoto inhale deeply, obviously trying to compose himself before a soft “I love you Haru” reached him.

He pressed a kiss into Makoto’s hair, holding on. “I love you too.” A thought popped into his head and he smiled. “I guess we’re stuck with each other.”

A burst of surprised laughter came from Makoto before he huffed. “I guess we are. Not so bad a deal.”

“Not bad at all.”

They laid down again, some of the feelings purged, and Haru was certain they were stronger for it. He recalled his mother’s words from yesterday and closed his eyes.

_We are building a life together._

_There’s nothing more I want than that._

~~

Haru hummed.

His head was resting on Makoto’s shoulder and they swayed more than danced to the slow music.

“Haru.” A kiss to his head and Makoto tried to pull back but Haru was having none of it, tightening his grip. This got him a laugh. “I know. We did not plan this well.”

“You should have brought your books.”

Makoto sighed. “Yes and the paper I finished that I need to turn in. I need fresh clothes too.” Haru snickered at the list.

“Yes, we really did not plan this well. You need to leave more clothes here.”

“Over a third is already here Haru.”

“More.”

He decided he had a strange liking for Makoto giggling.

“What we need to do is laundry, not bring more clothes here.”

“Both.”

Makoto cupped his head and kissed him. Haru was nicely dazed by the time their lips parted so he grabbed his head and kissed him again.

“You’re impossible.” Makoto’s low voice sent shivers down his spine and he grinned. “What am I to do with you? Wait, don’t answer that.”

Haru laughed and shook his head. “I was going to say laundry.”

“I believe you. All right, I’m off.” Haru watched him grab his bag and sling it on his shoulder. “I have a terrible Monday tomorrow. I’ll be in the library then we’re doing another group project in the evening, I’m afraid. I’ll text though.”

Sighing, Haru shrugged. “We’re both busy. I’ll probably be asleep by the time you’re back. Tuesday is my full day but then it evens out.”

“I’ll call.” Makoto kissed him again then walked to the genkan to put his shoes on.

Another quick kiss and Haru was left standing on his own, the door closed. He sighed and then turned back to the living room, plopping himself down onto the couch. It didn’t take long before he decided the music was irritating, so he got back up and turned it off before walking into the bedroom and lying down.

He didn’t really have anything to do and yet he wasn’t in the mood to watch television or read. The silence suited him just fine. He wished he had Makoto to snuggle up to now, even if he would be reading one of his books for University before bed and sighed, turning over. He inhaled and found the pillow still smelled like Makoto. He pushed his face into it, feeling both silly and glad.

_Too fast._

The two words kept ringing around his head. Too fast. But another part of him was saying that it actually wasn’t. It wasn’t as if they had just met. So what if he wanted to spend more time with Makoto? If he wanted those moments when they were just together, even if each was doing different things. It’s why he had been so reluctant to let him go that evening, he simply hadn't wanted to.

Flipping over on his bed, he stared at his ceiling again. He was pretty sure he could already trace the lines on it. Makoto was still considering relocating to the dorms. It would be cheaper for him and he wanted to save as much money for his parents as possible now. Wondering if it would be a good idea to mention his apartment as an option due to this, he glanced over to the nightstand and saw his phone flashing.

It was an email from his mother, telling him she’d arrived safely home.

He stared at it then decided to give her a call. She had been truly wonderful to Makoto. They hadn’t been close for a long time but it seemed to him that might change. A part of him wanted it to. He may be a young adult but he still wanted it to. He let the phone ring and smiled at her voice.

“Haru! This is a nice surprise.”

“I saw you arrived safely but still wanted to call.”

“Thank you Haruka. Yes, it was a pleasant trip, went by quickly. It wasn’t even that crowded.”

He wasn’t sure what to say then. He really was no good at this small talk thing. Recalling she had other plans that day, he figured that would do.

“You met with your friends?”

“Yes, that went well. They were old friends from medical school, we haven’t seen each other in a long time and then we all found ourselves being in Tokyo at the same time.” She sighed. “Ah how time flies, it is as if we were students yesterday and look at us now. Look at you Haruka, how you’ve grown. A man now, when I could swear you were just learning to walk a few moments ago.”

Haru laughed softly but he understood. He couldn’t believe how fast time had flown from those moments when they started their last year of high school.  He couldn’t believe how many things changed, so quickly.

“How is father?” He bit his lip but he had to ask.

“Not here yet, he had his own business trip.” He could hear her breathe, the silence deafening, but he couldn’t force himself to ask. He didn’t need to though because she continued. “Give it time.”

“I just don’t want you to…” he huffed because he didn’t know how to express himself, he couldn’t find the words.

“Don’t worry about me, it is fine.” He startled, wondering how she knew what he meant. It wasn’t that often that people could read him with so few words. “You come first Haru, it’s not even a question. Now, tell me about Makoto, how is he?”

“We talked a little bit today.”

“You snuggled up to him in your sleep, earlier and he kissed your hair. And then I’ve never seen anyone so scared due to one small act of love. I am glad he talked to you.”

Haru sighed and looked up again. The top left ceiling corner had a cluster of lines that reminded him of a spider web. _So that’s what happened._

“He did. I think it’s better now.”

“I know it’s hard for you Haruka, you never were one for talk. You got that from me actually, not that you could tell now. But sometimes we have to try.”

“I didn’t want him to leave today.”

“Haru?”

He couldn’t tell later what had possessed him at that moment but he simply had to talk to someone about it or he was going to burst.

“I didn’t want him to leave. He had to go back to his apartment.”

“Well.” He could hear her moving around to find a more comfortable spot and he waited. His face was burning and he was already just about ready to switch the conversation to some other topic but then she hummed. “I am going to assume you didn’t speak to him about this. Think well about this Haruka. It’s different you know.”

“Different?”

“To when you spend just a night or even a weekend together.” He could almost hear her smiling and wondered what she was remembering. “Your father and I, we had some interesting fights over the most ridiculous things. We once spent almost an hour arguing where we would be going to dinner. He said he didn’t mind and I should just pick something, then went on saying no to all of my suggestions.” Her delighted laughter at that told him his father hadn’t fared well afterwards. “Once we argued over toothpaste. Oh, there was the laundry incident too.”

“I cook. We do laundry together.”

His mother’s deep sigh made him smile. “And he makes tea. You two have always fit together, even as children. But still think about it for a while. I know you need your space and quiet sometimes. You got that from me too.”

“We can be quiet together.”

“Oh Haru.” He had a vivid picture in his head of her face, when she used that tone with him. He had to smile again. He was also aware she had a good point.

“I understand though. I’ll think about it.”

“Try it out. Spend a full week or two together, see how it goes for just that time. Ultimately, you’re just going to have to go for it and communicate well.”

“Thank you.”

“Think nothing of it Haru, I am glad you asked. I’m here if you need anything at all, both of you. Now go, get some rest and I’ll turn in too. Am so tired!”

“Yes, that’s a good idea. Good night mother.”

“Good night Haru and say hello to Makoto from me.”

He hung up and let his hand drop onto the duvet. She was right but somehow he just couldn’t see what problems could arise. _I guess that’s why we need to give it a try, we won’t know until then. I’ll talk to Makoto, maybe after Nationals. Then we’ll see._

He was about to put his phone away and go take a shower before retiring for the night, when it rang. Smiling when he saw the name that was flashing, he answered the phone.

“You’re home, safe.”

“Haru! Yes.” He heard Makoto clear his throat and wondered if something happened. “I just missed you so figured I’d call you before you go to bed.”

Makoto’s words made him smile and he turned again, inhaling his scent from the pillow.

“Makoto?”

“Hmm?”

“We need to do laundry soon.”

“All right.”

He hugged the pillow to himself, the too soon now forgotten in the face of Makoto’s voice, his smell, the need to have him there.

“You need to bring more things too.”

There was silence now, apart from a soft sound of linen, meaning Makoto was already in bed. Haru waited. He didn’t feel he made a mistake in asking. It was right.

“All right.”

He smiled into Makoto’s pillow.

They talked for a while longer before hanging up, inconsequential, little things but he felt better for it. In the end he decided he could leave the shower for the morning, after his run and just snuggled down to sleep.

He was almost lost in the land of dreams when he remembered the other day and realized that maybe he could do that after all.

It was time.

~~

Makoto was leaning onto the library wall, waiting for Matsushita to arrive. He was part of the group project they were working on and he had offered his apartment as a meeting place for that evening. He had spent three hours studying and while he was content because he got everything done, he was also quite tired. The idea of spending more time with other people now made him sigh, never mind actually working on something.

He found himself wishing to be able to go to Haru’s now and just snuggle up with him on the couch, watching television. Or doing nothing, that sounded good too.

“Tachibana!”

Of course just when he got to the good part in his day dreaming, he was interrupted. Of course. He pried his eyes open and smiled weakly.

“Matsushita.”

“Rough day ah? Me too. I’ve been at it since this morning and now we have more to do.”

Makoto nodded and then remembered. “Please tell me we can stop for food somewhere. I am starving. Project or not, I have to eat first.”

“As a matter of fact, I thought about ordering out, with everyone. I think most of us are coming from a full day so a little break to eat and recharge is probably a good idea.”

“That sounds good.” His phone rang at that moment and he frowned when he saw Haru’s name but hoped it was nothing bad.

“Haru.”

“Oh Makoto. Sorry for disturbing you.”

“No, you’re not. I’m with Matsushita, we’re just going to his place.”

“Rin emailed us. He’s in a hurry or I wouldn’t have called, can we talk to him on Wednesday? I know you said you will probably have an open night but I didn’t want to risk it. You could stay over.”

“Ah. Yes, that sounds fine, actually. Thursday would be bad but Wednesday is fine.”

“Good, I’ll let him now. Oh have you eaten?”

“No. But we’ll order out together before we get to work.” He smiled. “Don’t worry.”

“We’ll talk tomorrow then.”

“Yes. I’ll say hi to Matsushita.”

“Oh. Yes. Of course. Take care.” He bid him a good night and turned his phone off, only to find Matsushita looking at the ground biting his lip. He peeked at Makoto and laughed, shaking his head.

“You two are like an old married couple.”

“Eh?”

“You remind me of my parents. My mother works a lot so my father often worries that she’ll miss her meals and rings her up. They do things together like you do. My girlfriend and I are happy but we are not like you two. I see all these little things, how you two are. I hope we get there one day too.”

Makoto smiled and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“Haru and I have known each other for a long time before we got together.”

“I know. As I said, an old married couple!” He laughed again and Makoto just shrugged. He didn’t know if they were truly like that but he didn’t mind the comparison, at all. “Why don’t you just move in together?”

Matsushita’s question startled him and he frowned.

“Oh don’t frown Tachibana, just think about it. When I call you, you’re over at his place over half the time anyway. You do everything as a couple, I can bet you anything.” Makoto was blushing now, thinking of the laundry. Damn Haru for putting that in the forefront of his mind. “Aha! See? I knew it. So why wait?”

“We have only been in a relationship for three months.”

“What does that have to do with anything? You just told me yourself. You’ve known each other for a long time. It’s not like you have to discover who the other person is. You’re discovering who you are, together, but it’s obvious it’s working out so why wait?”

They didn’t speak about it later and before Makoto knew it, they were at Matushita’s place and others started arriving. They had a great dinner accompanied by teasing and laughter and he was refreshed enough to spend an intense few hours hammering out the details of their project.

It was only later, when he was back at his own place, taking off his shoes that he realized he was bone tired. He should probably take a shower to wash the day off but he honestly didn’t think he was capable of it. Glancing at the clock he shook his head, it was eleven already which meant he had been out for fifteen hours or so.

He dropped his bag next to his desk and sighed.

The project had taken his mind off it but once he was on the train home, all he could think of were Matsushita’s words. They kept going round and round in his head. The way Haru had been yesterday, the way he had felt, they just struck a cord and he could not let them go.

He wondered if it were odd that his biggest worry wasn’t how they’d fit together, in one space. He was aware that it had been pretty easy for them until then, all things considering. They had known each other for years after all and it wasn’t that surprising. It’d be foolish to think they’d never argue but he honestly couldn’t see them having major problems. They did already know who the other was and discovering who they were together, another thing that resonated with him, was something they were well on their way doing. Why not living together?

This is where he paused every time. Makoto always remembered he’d already told Haru about his idea of moving to the dorms because of his family situation. How could he bring up living together then? It’d seem like he was using Haru and that was the last thing he wanted because he would never do that. He walked through the bedroom and grabbed his sleep clothes then hit the bathroom. Shower it was, he had to get his head straight and it would make for a good sleep, even if he had to hold himself up by leaning on the wall.

The warm water hitting his tired muscles was like heaven and he groaned. His knees almost buckled and he had to lock them in, in order to keep himself upright. Grabbing the shower gel he quickly lathered himself up then leaned on the wall, letting the water wash away the suds. _Maybe Haru doesn’t want to live together anyway._ But he knew that most likely it wasn’t so. The way he’d acted just yesterday showed him he did or was close to it anyway. Makoto didn’t know if Haru would ever suggest it but it did no good lying to himself. He wanted to share this with him but he was also scared it was too soon. He sighed and then quickly finished.

_There is no point in dwelling on this now. I’m too tired anyway._

He stepped out and towelled his hair dry as much as possible then just shrugged. It’d have to do as his strength was out. Tiredly getting dressed, he stared at himself in the mirror, and wondered if he’d have believed this would be what he’d be thinking of just six months ago if someone had come up to him and told him what the future held. Probably not.

He walked into the bedroom and turned the covers down. He was about to turn off the light and slip into the bed when he frowned.

Something was wrong.

He wasn’t sure what but a niggling feeling of something being off wouldn’t give him peace. He looked around and could spot nothing out of place. Deciding to shrug it off as a product of his over-tired mind, he reached for the light switch when he saw it.

Right above his bed, where he’d hung it the day Haru presented it to him, as his birthday present, was the triptych of the two of them. The right side had been empty but not any longer. He had gotten so used to the blank space that it took a while just then to process what he was seeing.

It was the two of them of course, just like the other two parts.

They were sitting on the rock, the ocean behind them. Haru’s hands were cradling Makoto’s cheeks and they only had eyes for each other. The feelings were easy to read and Makoto could feel his eyes watering. It was that day, when Haru had told him he loved him. That day, after they’d chosen each other.

He sniffed, not knowing what to feel, so many emotions coursing through him but in the end he smiled, that full smile only Haru got from him.

Whenever he was sure there was no way he could love Haru more, something happened and his feelings would grow. Makoto knew, knew deep in his heart that there would be none other for him.

The thoughts from a few moments ago returned to him and he nodded to himself.

_If it’s right, why wait?_

_No reason at all. At all. We’ll find a way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick so my text processing skills are at a zero. Hopefully not too many mistakes in this one.  
> Next time the boys have a conversation with Rin :)


	16. Chapter 16

#  Chapter 16

 

“Am I late?”

Haru turned and smiled at him, shaking his head.

“No, we still have fifteen minutes.”

“Good. My battery ran out. I completely forgot to charge my phone last night.” Makoto sighed and dropped his bag next to the couch, then plopped onto it, still in his jacket.

“Tired?”

“You have no idea.” He sighed then glanced at Haru. “Or you probably do. Gruelling practice today?”

“Mizushima-san and Yamazaki have turned into monsters. We’re working on my kick and I swear by the end of it I wanted to kick them.” Makoto shifted so that Haru could sit down next to him, then tangled his fingers in Haru’s hair. “I know it’s important but I was at the end of my nerves.”

“I take it you refrained.”

“Thanks to Yamazaki. He’s good at reading me now and called a halt to it. Though I think even Mizushima-san could see it by the end there. It was good to just swim after that, it relaxed me. Back to it again tomorrow but it’ll be fine thanks to not going over the line today.”

“Sousuke is going to be a great coach.”

Haru nodded once then peered at him. “Come on, let’s get you out of that jacket. What happened today though, I thought it was a shorter one?”

Makoto groaned and extended his arm so that Haru could pull on his sleeve. “It was. It’s just that one of the guys who is doing the group project with us cannot do it tomorrow. He just sent a text to Matsushita he’s out. He’s been kind of quiet on Monday too but I thought nothing of it. We called it off and rescheduled but I really hope he isn’t going to start stringing us along. This is a big thing and it needs all of us working.”

He flushed then, remembering what other thing had happened on Monday. He’d pretty much babbled at Haru over the phone on Tuesday but it was different now, face to face. He got rid of his jacket, then decided to try out one of Haru’s favourite positions.

Makoto made sure there was enough space then shifted and straddled him. Haru let out an adorable little eep and Makoto giggled. He made sure to keep most of his weight on his knees, he was quite heavy though now that he thought about it, Haru had put on quite a bit of muscle in his training. He perched mostly on Haru’s thighs then cupped his face and kissed him.

He luxuriated in it, his tongue exploring Haru’s mouth slowly, with Haru almost humming underneath him by the time they parted.

“That’s for my gift.”

Haru let out a small smile and shrugged slightly. “I thought it was right.”

“It was. It is.” Makoto couldn’t help himself but kissed him again, feeling Haru’s arms go around him and press them even more closely. They both groaned and were just about to kiss again when they heard ringing from the bedroom.

“Rin!” Haru yelped and tried getting up, forgetting Makoto was on his lap. Not expecting it, Makoto lost his balance and almost fell backwards, his arms windmills, but Haru managed to catch him at the last moment and they landed back on the couch with a loud oomph from both of them. Makoto just stared in surprise at Haru’s face and then they were off, laughing like crazy.

He managed to gather himself enough to scramble off and he dove for the bedroom, answering the call.

“Here, we’re here. Give us a second.”

“Makoto, what?” Rin’s confused voice could be heard but Makoto was still lightly laughing and it didn’t do him any favours when Haru showed up at the doorstep, his hair a mess. It set him off again, and he just waved at Rin helplessly.

“You two have gone crazy I see. I leave you alone for a few months and look what happens.”

Makoto sensed the bed dip, as Haru had finally joined him and was crawling across it to reach the bedpost. He gave Makoto a light poke and he had to move, because Haru obviously wanted to be in their usual position. He quickly settled himself against the headboard, Haru between his spread legs and lifting the laptop onto his knees.

“There, sorry Rin. We had a little accident just as you rang.”

“I am not going to ask.”

“Better, I’d say.”

“Haru!” Makoto was sure he was blushing. Honestly, who knew what Rin could deduce from that one. “I just fell, well almost fell, off the couch. The ring tone startled us.”

“Yes but…” He clapped his hand across Haru’s mouth, cutting him off. He had a propensity for blurting out the most inappropriate things and Rin truly didn’t need any more ammunition to tease them with. Mostly Makoto, true because Haru was usually cool as a cucumber but it was the thought that counted.

“As I said, just an accident.”

“Sure.”

He nodded, his face serious and staunchly ignored the shark grin aimed at him from the screen. Makoto was about to reply when Haru licked his palm.

_I can't believe he just did that._

The thought hadn’t even flashed through his brain completely when he felt himself go hard. Of course Haru was pressed so tightly against him that there was no way he couldn’t feel him. He breathed in deeply to try and think of something else and then of course, the little beast wiggled further back.

_I am going to murder him._

_No, I’m going to fuck him then I’m going to murder him._

Heat hit his head and Makoto was aware he had to be beet red but he was stunned by that thought. He’d sort of vaguely thought about the idea ever since he first went looking up things online but then the more they did together, the more prominent it became. To have it jump at him like this though, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

_Don’t think that way. Wrong train of thought._

_Haru’s mother. Yes, better. Much better._

“You all right there Makoto?” Rin’s concerned voice came from the computer and he nodded. Letting his hand fall from Haru’s lips, he cleared his throat.

“Yes. Fine, sorry. Just wandered off for a second.” If his voice was a little high, well he couldn’t be blamed for it. It was a wonder he could even speak at the moment. He saw Haru had turned his head partially, watching him from the corner of his eyes, a little smirk on his lips and he sighed. He was so doomed.

“Anyway, yes.” Clearing his throat again, he felt like they better change the subject to what Rin was calling for in the first place. “What was it that you wanted to tell us? Haru said you had news.” Haru settled back completely now, his head resting on Makoto’s shoulder and he knew he was paying attention too.

“Right! I’m returning to Tokyo next week! I mean we are, my coach and I.”

They both exclaimed happily at that. They had known of course it was coming because Rin would need time to get used to the change of climate and the new pool but they had thought it’d be a little bit later.

“That’s great news Rin. We can’t wait to see you. I mean it’s different when it’s in person and like this.” He was smiling like a fool but he honestly was looking forward to it. He was certain Haru was too. He’d been talking about Rin a bit more lately, especially just last week when he’d went into a long, for Haru, monologue about why Rin swimming with him would be good and Makoto knew he missed him. They both did but that had been Haru’s way of showing it. Makoto had just kissed him and murmured that he missed Rin too. That had gotten him a side-glance and a kiss in return.

“I know, I can’t wait. I think it’d have been much more difficult if we hadn’t talked so frequently but it’s almost done. I am so glad I did this but I’m coming back!” Rin did a little seated happy dance, wiggling in his chair and they all laughed happily.

“Did you talk to Sousuke?” Haru asked and Makoto wondered what was going through his mind.

Rin shook his head and Makoto raised his eyebrow. That was strange. He had expected Rin to talk to Sousuke first, if Haru’s ideas were correct.

“Not yet, we should have talked last night but he had problems with his internet so we’ll talk after this.” A simple delay then, that made sense. Makoto wondered what would happen to those two once they were in the same country. He hoped whatever it was, that it’d wait past Nationals as Rin too needed his peace before those important races. He took comfort that Sousuke himself would never try anything first, he agreed with Haru on that, so they were probably safe.

That reminded him though. “Where are you staying?”

Rin groaned and rubbed his face with his hands.

“What’s wrong?” Haru leaned forward slightly and Makoto’s arms went around him in comfort. It was automatic now, whenever he suspected that Haru might be even slightly worried, he wanted to hold him. Haru’s hands landed on his own, squeezing and he smiled.

“Oh nothing and everything. I mean it’s nothing serious but,” at that Rin sighed and his shoulders slumped, “there was a mess up with the registrations. Again. I think I’m cursed or something when it comes to staying in hotels with other people.”

Haru snickered and Makoto remembered what happened when they were in Australia. He tried hard not to laugh though because Rin looked so forlorn. “Same thing?” He got a nod and another sigh.

“At least it’s a double bed room and my coach and I do get along but ten days with him constantly is going to be a nightmare. I need a bit of space. I thought about asking Sousuke but I know his place is not big enough.”

Haru’s hands tighten on his arms. He turned slightly and glanced at Makoto before looking back at Rin. Makoto could see his lips were pursed and it was obvious he was thinking about something.

_Well of course. He should invite Rin to stay with him. There’s plenty of space for the two of them and since they get along now, it’s the best solution._

He inhaled and tried smiling at Haru but wasn’t quite sure that it came out as he intended. He just couldn’t help himself, especially not after all the thoughts that have been plaguing him lately. Makoto didn’t want anybody else living with Haru, even if it was for ten days only. He wanted it to be him. He realized he had been thinking of Haru’s apartment as home for a good while now and his apartment as simply his apartment, a place to sleep and spend some time in. He sighed and tried smiling again. Haru was still looking at him then he nodded once before turning to Rin.

“I have an idea. Makoto spends enough time here anyway. He could come spend the ten days with me and you could use his apartment. That way you have the space. Makoto?”

_What?_

“What?”

“You move here. For the duration. Rin gets your apartment.”

“Ah.” Makoto was aware he probably looked like an idiot, his mouth slightly open, blinking rapidly at Haru but he couldn’t believe what he just heard, it was the complete opposite to his morose thoughts. He was sure he got it wrong but Haru just kept looking at him steadily waiting for his reply. Rin was strangely silent.

“Yes. I mean, yes, of course!” He exclaimed before Haru could change his mind. “Of course!” He smiled that wide smile and Haru smiled back, his eyes shining with happiness, before he turned. Rin seemed delighted with the idea and Makoto relaxed back, his hands still holding Haru.

_He wants it too._

He smiled and watched the other two make plans, while his heart beat like a hummingbird’s, a warmth spreading through him.

It didn’t take long after that for them to say their good byes, Rin wanting to finish up so he could talk to Sousuke too. They waved and then signed off. Haru squeezed his fingers once before trying to turn in his embrace. Makoto loosened his hold and soon he had a lap full of Haru, who was uncharacteristically shy suddenly. He clutched to Makoto’s shirt and looked up at him through his fringe.

“You don’t mind?”

Makoto laughed and pulled Haru more closely.

“No, I don’t mind you silly man. I love the idea.”

“Yeah?” Haru’s voice was still shy and he had to kiss him. It wasn’t something that happened often, especially lately but it always disarmed Makoto when it did. Haru was still clinging to his shirt by the time they parted but he also seemed reassured.

“Yes. It’s going to be fun. Though I expect I’ll drive you crazy in three days.”

“Or the other way around.”

“Or both.” They laughed and Makoto shook his head. “We’re going to be fine. We spent enough days together before this.”

Haru tugged his shirt a little bit, looking at his own hands and Makoto gave him time. This usually meant that he had something to say and he was working up to it. He was right this time too. “I wanted you to stay the other day, on Sunday. I didn’t want you to leave.”

Makoto wondered if Haru would ever stop surprising him. He decided that the answer was probably no and he found that he loved that it would always be so. Whenever he figured he would be reluctant, he proved him wrong, and was open and direct. He loved him for it.

“I didn’t want to either.” He could never answer one of Haru’s carefully told confessions with anything less than one of his own. He had to be true to his, and their, feelings. “It’s why I called you that night. I mean I missed you but especially that night. I wanted us to be together and that was the next best thing I could manage.”

“I’m so glad you did.” Their lips met and they kissed, Makoto feeling so happy that he could express his feelings. He wanted Haru to know how he felt. This got him thinking and he broke the kiss. He wanted to be honest but at the same time, it really was embarrassing. He didn’t know if he should either, it had been his own brain that went there, Haru hadn’t actually done anything. It bothered him that it did. He remembered what Haru’s mother had told him and he sighed.

“Makoto?”

“I thought you were going to suggest Rin coming here, to stay with you.” Haru’s eyebrows raised but he was silent, letting him talk. He was grateful he didn’t see any hurt or recrimination in his eyes so he continued. “I didn’t want you to. I wanted to be the one to stay with you. But it didn’t even occur to me you’d ask me to come and I don’t know why.” He shrugged. “It’s strange now that I think about it.”

Haru’s hand caressed his cheek and he looked up, to see Haru looking at him with a gentle expression. His eyes were filled with an emotion Makoto could identify now and that made him feel safe and happy.

“I’m never going to choose anyone else over you. Remember that.” Haru kissed him them, a deep kiss of claiming that left Makoto’s senses reeling from the assault and he had to blink a few times to focus on Haru when he released his lips. “The rest will come.”

He wanted to ask more but Haru just shook his head and leaned forward, his head resting on Makoto’s shoulder. Makoto thought about asking what Haru meant but decided to let it go. He hugged him and laid his own head to rest on top of Haru’s. They were together, it was going to be fine.

~~

Makoto hummed, relaxed then craned his head a bit to look at the clock. He wasn’t sure if they’d actually dozed but a full hour had passed since Rin’s call ended. He wanted to ask if Haru was up for a snack when he saw Haru’s long neck right in front of him and decided that a little kiss would not be amiss. It quickly turned into a series of open mouthed kisses, with Haru craning his neck to give him more room. He had to be careful not to leave marks, so gently sucked before blowing on his skin. The responding shiver from Haru had him repeat it before his fingers found their way into Haru’s hair, pulling his head back.

Haru groaned and Makoto remembered he liked this. He smiled then mouthed his Adam’s apple and got another groan. Moving lower he was stopped by the shirt Haru still had on so he let go and looked up. Haru was looking at him, his eyes hooded and inviting and Makoto tugged. Haru’s arms obediently rose and he quickly divested him of the shirt.

He stared and licked his lips.

He could see Haru’s eyes widening a bit at that and then he leaned back, supporting himself with his hands on Makoto’s knees. It was like he was on display for Makoto now and his breathing sped up.

“You are so beautiful.”

Haru smiled that small smile but didn’t say anything. Makoto couldn’t resist and he placed his hands on Haru’s neck, then ran them down his shoulders. He sighed and took one of Haru’s hands into his, careful not to unseat him, and brought it to his lips. Remembering what happened a while ago, he kissed Haru’s palm then gave it a little lick. He kissed each of his fingers then sucked on his forefinger. Haru’s soft sigh of pleasure emboldened him so he repeated it before letting his hand go, to return to his knee. He could see Haru tenting his sweats now and he smiled then ran his hands down his pecs down to his firm stomach.

_All mine._

He lowered his head to lay a kiss on that inviting skin when Haru’s phone rang.

Makoto jerked up but Haru just shook his head at him. “Ignore it.”

He agreed that was the best course of action, being thwarted once during the day was enough. He sucked in Haru’s nipple, giving the other a simple flick with his fingers, then blew on the wet nub. Haru arched further into the caress and Makoto switched sides, not wanting to neglect the other one.

The phone rang again.

Makoto wondered if this was an appropriate time for swearing.

“Maybe we should pick it up. It could be an emergency.”

Haru whined.

“Who is it?”

Makoto craned his neck to see better and sighed. “Sousuke.”

“It must be something about Rin, it can wait.”

“Then why does he keep calling you?”

He could see Haru open his mouth to say something when the phone stopped ringing. That got him a smirk and Haru wiggled his shoulders at him. Makoto laughed, he loved a playful Haru and he kissed his sternum.

The phone rang again.

Haru shouted and lunged for the phone.

“What?!”

He was quiet for a few seconds and then Makoto could see his eyebrows go up. “What?” Something was obviously going on because Haru’s forehead wrinkled and he rolled his eyes. He suddenly hung up and rolled off the bed.

It was Makoto’s turn to ask what was happening and he scrambled after Haru who was now marching towards his door. He flung it open and there was Sousuke, staring at his phone and then at Haru. He looked frazzled but then entered when Haru waved him in.

It was then that Makoto realized Haru was still shirtless, his skin glistening in places.

“Haru!” That didn’t get him more than a confused look so he sighed and walked back to the bedroom to collect the garment. He found it on the floor and for the life of him he couldn’t remember flinging it like that. Well, they were occupied with better things, things that seemed to be relocated to the distant future now. He sighed and walked back out.

“Your shirt.”

That got him another confused look but at least Haru took his shirt and put it on.

“Honestly Tachibana, I see him almost naked on a daily basis.” Sousuke was sitting on the couch now and shaking his head at Makoto.

“This is … different.” Makoto couldn’t explain why but it was. Haru walked back then leaned into him, flinging his arm across Makoto’s waist.

Sousuke rolled his eyes and smirked. “It’s not my fault you two are having sex in the afternoon, it’s not even dark out!”

“Sousuke!” Makoto spluttered.

“We have sex in the morning too.” Haru thought prudent to add, as if that made anything better, and Makoto could just sigh. “Haru.” A level look was sent his way and Makoto could feel his shoulders drooping.

“Anyway. What happened Sousuke? It’s not like you to just show up.”

He tried changing the topic. It seemed the best course of action especially if it meant getting rid of Sousuke in the shortest time possible. He didn’t expect Sousuke to sigh resignedly and bury his head in his hands.

“Rin’s coming.”

“Yes, we know. He talked to us before he talked to you, he told us your internet was down yesterday so you couldn’t talk.”

“What am I supposed to do now? I mean it was easy when he wasn’t physically present but with him right here, everything is going to be different.”

Makoto sighed again. This was going to take forever.

He tugged Haru and they ended up in the chair together, Haru in his lap. He obviously didn’t find anything embarrassing in the situation and Makoto’s arms came up around his waist. He could understand though, they were so suddenly interrupted that feeling close like this helped him out too.

“Yamazaki. I don’t understand.” Haru was frowning at Sousuke now and Makoto suppressed another sigh. It seemed pretty obvious to him. “He’s afraid he’s going to blurt something out Haru.”

“So what if he does?”

“Nanase!”

Makoto shook his head but Sousuke was faster. “What do you mean, what if I do? I especially wouldn’t want to throw Rin off before Nationals. But even then. I cannot risk our friendship. I just can’t.”

“I don’t think you’ll be risking anything.”

Sousuke looked at Haru, a pained expression on his face.

“Are you sure Nanase? I’m not.”

“I’ve known Rin long enough. He has feelings for you.”

“Does he know that though?”

Makoto saw Haru’s mouth open, then close. That had obviously stumped him and when he thought about it, Sousuke was right. There was a difference between having feelings for someone and being aware of them.

“And does he accept them?” Makoto had to add and then shook his head at Haru. “No, it’s important. Sousuke is right. Even if he is aware of them, and I don’t think he is, would he accept them?”

Sousuke sighed and leaned back on the couch, rubbing his face with his hands.

“Tachibana is right. All of these things matter. Just think back Nanase.” Sousuke allowed his hands to drop down and Makoto could see him staring at the ceiling, his eyes glistening with tears. This was such a mess.

“You are both right and wrong.” Haru’s voice forced him to pay attention to him again and Makoto raised an eyebrow.

“You’re right about him possibly not being aware of them and this does matter. Where I think you’re both wrong, and underestimating Rin, is what happens once he realizes. Yes, he’s in a particular situation, what with his father, but I think in the end he’ll choose love. It’s Rin.”

Haru looked at Sousuke who was still staring at the ceiling, refusing to look at them.

“Sousuke. Trust in Rin.”

Suddenly lifting his head up, Sousuke stared at Haru. Makoto wasn’t sure what that was about but there was a shared look of recognition and understanding between the two, as if they were remembering a previous conversation. He was glad though, whatever it was, because he saw Sousuke inhale and his shoulders relax.

“Yes, of course. Thank you Haru.”

Makoto wondered briefly if he should ask but decided not to. He looked at the two men and smiled a little smile.

_How far they’ve come. How far we’ve all come. We’re missing one though._

_Hurry up Rin._

He kissed Haru’s cheek and then grinned at them. “Tea?”

“You don’t happen to have coffee?”

“We do but I think tea would be better now. You’re tense as it is Sousuke. Tea.”

Both Sousuke and Haru laughed at that, Sousuke shaking his head.

“Mother hen.”

“Yes. But tea.” He nudged Haru off his lap and kissed his pout then went into the kitchen to get everything ready. He could hear the other two start talking in quiet voices as he set the water to boiling. Throwing open their tea cupboard, he hummed under his breath as he pondered what would be best for this situation.

_Yes, hurry up Rin. You’re missed._

~~

“This is ridiculous!”

He flung his bag to the couch and then himself, and huffed.

Haru walked out of the kitchen, looking at him bemusedly. He lifted his eyebrow and Makoto waved his hands.

“I know, I wasn’t supposed to come tonight but this is ridiculous!” He flung his arms wide then huffed again. “Remember that guy I told you about before, who made us postpone yesterday’s group? He didn’t show up today either!”

Makoto knew his voice was rising but he honestly didn’t care. He didn’t get angry easily and it truly was a rare state of being for him but this was really rubbing him the wrong way. He worked hard for his grades and especially now he wanted to do the best he could.

Haru tugged at his hand and he had to stand up then looked confused for a second until he realized he was tugging on his jacket. He sighed and took it off, Haru taking it from his hands and then hanging it up. He had completely forgotten about it, no wonder he was feeling warm. Though, he figured, that might also be because he was slightly upset.

“Can you finish without him?”

“Yes, we can but it’s going to take us longer. We already decided not to risk it and distributed the research he was supposed to do among ourselves. It’s so vexing though.”

Haru set behind him and started rubbing his shoulders. His head lolled forward from the pleasant sensations and he relaxed a little. “That feels good.” Haru just hummed and continued. “It’ll end up with us doing all the work.”

“Then talk to the guy. Tell him you won’t do his work for him. He’s not sick, is he?”

Makoto shook his head. “No, he’s not sick. Matsushita’s girlfriend actually saw him at a club she went to with some friends. He was partying it up. Probably why he cancelled on us too.”

“Then talk to him. I know how important this project is to you, you’ve talked about it enough.” He hit a particularly big knot in his shoulder and Makoto yelped then groaned in relief. “It must be to the others too.”

“It is. His shoddy work could cost us more in the end, than if he did nothing. That’s I think what’s so frustrating about the whole thing.”

“There is always the option of talking to your professor and asking for advice. It’s why they’re there.”

“Yes, Matsushita suggested that.” Makoto turned and flopped into Haru’s embrace. Immediately Haru’s arms went around him, holding him close. “We’ll have to think about it but I guess you’re right about talking to him once more, then we can decide what to do about it.”

“You’ll make the right decision.”

He sighed and lifted his head up for a kiss. Haru responded and Makoto found himself soundly kissed into a state of relaxed bliss. He smiled up at Haru. “Thank you.” Haru just shook his head and kissed him again.

“Are you staying the night?” He wasn’t sure but it did sound to him as if there was a hopeful note to Haru’s question. His heart skipped happily and he nodded his head. “I have to read through a few chapters tonight though. I’ll have to go back to my apartment tomorrow to get my clothes and the books I’ll need, since Rin’s arriving on Monday.”

“I’ll come with.”

Makoto nodded and then moved back and stretched. He felt miles better than he did when he arrived. Just being able to talk to Haru helped, the added massage and kisses didn’t hurt either.

“I was making dinner, you go take a bath, and I’ll hopefully be done by then. Then you can do your readings and I can fill out a few forms I have to for the competition.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, just the usual. I guess paperwork is inevitable, no matter what job one is in.” Haru rolled his eyes and Makoto laughed then got up. “Bath it is, great idea.”

“Take your time, I was just starting and I have to adjust for the two of us now. Maybe lavender bath oil? I used it the other night and it was so relaxing.”

“Oooh, didn’t think of that.” He kissed Haru quickly then turned and walked over to the bedroom. He found the lounge clothes he usually preferred when home and remembered they did need to do the laundry. Both of them were running on fumes there. He walked to the bathroom and looked through the storage cabinet. They definitely had to pick up some supplies for that though, they were almost out. _Also another toothpaste maybe. How did we go through this one so fast?_ He quickly returned to the living room and pulled a paper from his bag, scribbling it all down, in order not to forget.

Leaving it on the table, to add other things Haru might think of for tomorrow’s shopping spree, he returned to his bath. It didn’t take long for him to have it ready and he was soon sitting in the warm, scented water, submerged up to his chin. He sighed and closed his eyes.

_Buying these was the best idea ever._

He grabbed a towel to put under his head and then relaxed back again. _Perfect._ Makoto allowed his thoughts to wonder, feeling himself slowly drift. The distant sounds from the kitchen reached him then and he smiled before once again drifting off. The next thing he knew, Haru was kissing his forehead and combing back his wet hair with his fingers.

“Hey, did you fall asleep?”

Makoto blinked at him. “I am not sure. Maybe dozed. This is so relaxing.”

“Yes, it is. I almost fell asleep the other day too. Water’s getting cold though and dinner’s ready.” Haru left him there with another light kiss to his lips and Makoto got up. He quickly rinsed himself off and then grabbed a towel. He didn’t feel nearly as tired as he had before this and a meal should help refresh him completely. Quickly getting his clothes on he followed his nose and the wonderful smells, only to find Haru almost finished with setting the table.

“I could have helped!”

“No, it’s fine. You needed the break. Now let’s eat.”

And eat they did, Makoto enjoying the thin slices of meet with some new seasoning he’d have to ask Haru about later. It was sweet and spicy at the same time and the glazed vegetables just added to the whole meal. He was getting spoiled when it came to food but he couldn’t help but enjoy Haru’s cooking. Makoto had always known Haru could cook but he had really been pushed into expanding once he was told in no uncertain terms that fish only was not going to cut it.

He was pretty sure Haru enjoyed trying new meals on his own now, he often found him flipping through the books they had bought that day. He anticipated finding a few new ones in the not so distant future too.

He tried taking his time with the meal but soon, he was all done and sighed, happy and full.

“This was perfect, thank you Haru.”

“You’re welcome.” Haru smiled at him and relaxed back himself. “Always better when it’s the two of us. I prefer cooking then.”

Makoto beamed at him and tangled their fingers. “I don’t want to move.” Haru laughed softly and nodded. “I’m feeling lazy myself. I am also so tired. It’s Friday and I can’t wait for the weekend, even if I have half a day tomorrow at the pool. It’s just swimming though, no torture in the gym, so something at least.”

“You’re never going to like going to the gym, are you?”

“No. That is a certainty now. I grew to love running and I look forward to it now, but I am never going to like going to the gym. It’s just not me. Needs must though.” Haru groaned then got up. “And while on that subject…” He leaned over to give Makoto a kiss and then started clearing the dishes.

“Let me help with this at least.”

“Just bring them over to the kitchen, I’ll handle the rest. You go settle with your books.”

Makoto was about to protest but Haru just threw him a glance and he shrugged and decided it might be better to just agree. He took the food remains and carried that over, then wandered over to where he’d thrown his book bag and searched through it, looking for the right ones. Taking the pair, along with his glasses, he went to the bedroom.

He had already settled on the bed when he realized he was on the left as had been the case all the previous times too. They had picked favourite sides it seemed, and they hadn’t even noticed. Shaking his head at the pair of them, he cracked a book open and concentrated. Sometime later, he could hear Haru moving in the living room and then the creek of a chair and a rustle of paper, followed by sounds of typing but he remained focused on his own work, ploughing along.

When he suddenly heard Haru next to him, he couldn't help but startle. He hadn’t even noticed him walking into the room. The light in the living room was turned off and Haru was putting water on the nightstand.

“Done?”

A nod was his answer before Haru yawned. “Tired.” He crawled into the bed then, careful not to disturb Makoto and snuggled under the covers on his side, facing him.

“I won’t be long I think.”

“Don’t worry about it, the light doesn’t bother me at all.” He sniffed then shuffled closer to Makoto’s side. Makoto couldn’t resist and tugged at his hand, getting him to open one eye. He beckoned with his hand and Haru raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“I’m just reading. It’ll be fine.”

The smile that bloomed on Haru's face at that made his heart skip, and soon Haru was snuggled up on his chest, one of his hands thrown over Makoto’s stomach. He wiggled a bit and soon relaxed. Makoto smiled down at him, then bent to lay a kiss to his hair, before going back to his reading, one of his hands holding Haru against him.

~~

“This is so embarrassing.”

“What?”

Makoto yelped and banged his head on the upper shelf, then slowly moved away from his wardrobe. Rubbing his head he smiled. “Ah, nothing.”

“Makoto.”

He sighed. He should have known Haru wouldn’t let it go.

“The amount of my things that’s already at your place. We’ll be mostly taking my books actually.”

Haru stood in front of him and lifted his face up. “Why embarrassing? It’s how we both want it.”

Makoto wished he could think like Haru sometimes but it just didn’t work like that for him. It was true they both wanted it but still, it was embarrassing. He hadn’t even noticed just how many things had gotten moved. He found himself afraid to actually think just how many nights he even spent at his place. It wasn’t that it frightened him now, not exactly but the way their lives seemed to seamlessly fit together was a bit daunting. The feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop would creep up on him at the most unexpected of times and he’d feel a strange sense of a different kind of fear come over him.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he looked at Haru who was patiently waiting and could only shrug and kiss his nose, which Haru promptly wrinkled at him.

“All right, I have everything here. Do you have the list?”

Haru just nodded and patted his pocket.

“Off we go then.”

They filed out of the apartment, Makoto checking once more that everything was turned off as they weren’t expecting Rin for a few more days, and then they were off towards the market. Deciding to leave the food for the end, they entered the supermarket. Haru grabbed a basket and they started searching for their items.

“Writing this down was a good idea. We would have wandered about for ages otherwise.”

“As I imagine we will when we get to the food.” Makoto grinned at him and Haru pretended not to notice.

“That’s different. It’s food. We need to find just the right things.”

“We need to find the right things here too.” Makoto almost laughed at the perplexed look on Haru’s face and decided to have some fun. They needed a new brand as Haru’s usual one only came in small packages and with the two of them, it simply would not do. He pointed at the fabric softener shelf. “We need to pick the right scent of course. Emerald and ivory flower, gold orchid or ruby jasmine? Or maybe these? Ocean escape or wild flower bloom? Oh look. These have a lasting effect. Fresh or bliss if we want those.” He turned back to Haru who had the most amusing horrified expression on his face and Makoto had to bite his lower lip not to laugh. He tried really hard to keep his expression serious and Haru just blinked at him, before glancing at the shelf and then back at him, silent.

“What is even ruby jasmine?” He asked in a voice that was a mixture of fear and fascination, and Makoto finally had to laugh.

“I have no idea. But these long lasting should be a good idea and there’s just the two to pick from. Let’s go for fresh, it says it should remind us of the ocean.” Haru nodded quickly at him and Makoto wasn’t sure if it was because of the ocean or because he just wanted to be away from the shelf of doom. He had to halt when Haru suddenly stopped him and looked back.

“Maybe we should get two right now. Saves us a repeat trip, just in case.”

Makoto just nodded and picked up another bottle, while staunchly looking at the floor because if he even glanced at Haru he would burst out laughing and never stop. He did manage to compose himself quite quickly and spared Haru any mentions that the washing powder came in different scents, and just picked something that said fresh and should be complimentary to the softener.

He tugged him along then and dropped a few more things they needed, while Haru dragged his feet behind him. Makoto glanced at him and smiled. “Just the cleaning liquid now and we’re done.” Haru breathed a sigh of relief and gained a spring in his step.

He was positively giddy though by the time they hit the food market and he dragged Makoto around while picking out things he needed. Makoto wasn’t sure he knew what some of those things were. He did wonder if maybe he should try and make something for Haru on the one day he came home first. He just wasn’t a particularly good cook though Haru kept repeating he’d improved. He’d have to try and find something simple online and see if it is doable.

“Ooh, strawberries.”

“Those look nice.”

Haru was already nodding and tapping his lip. He was probably deciding how many to get and Makoto groaned.

“Makoto?”

“I’m going to get fat.”

“What?”

“I’ve been eating so well thanks to you I am going to get fat.”

“You are nothing but muscle. If anyone knows, I do.” Haru smirked at him and Makoto blushed.

“Haru! We’re at a store!”

“Well don’t talk about getting fat then. We eat quite healthily you know, apart from a rare occasion. You don’t eat nearly as much sweet as you think. You exercise regularly. As I said, muscle.” Haru flexed his fingers and Makoto suddenly found himself interested in the other berries. Really, he did not need to be getting those kind of desires here.

“Plus, even if you do, I don’t care.”

“What?” He had no idea what Haru was talking about now.

“If you get fat. I don’t care. I’d worry about your health but that’s all.”

“Haru!” Makoto blinked, feeling flustered. “We’re at a store.”

“What did I say now?” He looked delightfully confused and Makoto whispered to him. “When you say things like that all I want to do is kiss you and we’re at a store.” It was Haru’s turn to pink up and he smiled, shrugging. “It’s the truth.”

Makoto just squeezed his hand. He didn’t think he could say anything else because all the thoughts he did have were embarrassing. It was so much easier just showing him.

“Anyway, don't worry about it.” Haru gripped Makoto’s hand and started walking, forcing Makoto to get moving too. He continued smiling all the way through the store, even when Haru made them pause at the fish department and he had to close his eyes because there was no way he was watching that. No way. He needed to sleep tonight. It did make him wonder if this was payback for the scents but figured that Haru wanting fish really was too ordinary an occurrence to be anything but that. He sighed and endured.

By the time they dragged themselves home, it was already time for lunch. Haru threw together a quick salad and heated some soup and they ate quickly before tackling the laundry. When they piled up on the bed everything that needed washing Makoto wasn’t sure whether to laugh or scold them both.

“We need to do this more often.”

“How about one of those baskets?” Haru suggested. “The ones you can see in the movies. Once it’s full, it would signal we need to do it. I am not sure either one of us is good at this otherwise. We’re just too busy.”

“That’s a good idea. I know where to get one of those, leave that to me.” Makoto nodded and started sorting the whites from the rest. “I hate this part, I never did this back at Iwatobi.” Haru just shrugged. “I am kind of used to it though. I’ve lived on my own for so long that I don’t even think about it much. Let me.” He nudged Makoto with his hip and truly, it didn’t take him long. Makoto rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll learn one day.”

“No rush.” Haru took the first batch and got the machine ready. He sniffed at the softener and promptly sneezed, then sniffed again. “It does smell nice.” He chose the right program and they were done for a while with that.

“Vacuuming or cleaning the bathroom?” He looked at Makoto who pursed his lips then sighed. “I’ll do the bathroom, I’m taller.” They divided the work and it went faster than usual. Haru was wiping down the window when Makoto emerged from the bathroom. “That’s done.”

“Yes, I’ve dusted here too. I keep the kitchen clean at all times, what with all the food. Now only to air out the bedroom and change the sheets and we’re finished.” They worked like a well-oiled tandem, apart from a slight accident when Makoto tugged the sheets a bit too forcefully and sent unsuspecting Haru sprawling across the bed. Makoto called dibs on the shower then.

He was quite grimy and wanted to wash it all off. He was done and towelling his hair when he realized he’d left his clothes in the bedroom. _Actually I hope I even have clothes to change into. I think most of my casual ones are in the pile that goes next._ He tied a towel around his hips and then went searching.

He was in the process of frowning at his options when he heard Haru walk in. He didn’t pay much attention to it though until Haru’s hands encircled him from behind and settled on his stomach.

“All muscle.” Haru murmured and drew his hands across his skin. Makoto's arms suddenly lost strength and he dropped his shirt. A kiss was deposited on his shoulder and he sighed. As he was about to turn, Haru suddenly grabbed one of his own shirts and let him go.

“Off to shower.”

“What. Haru!”

A playful smirk sent his way was the only answer, and Makoto was left staring after him. Narrowing his eyes, he decided that two could play that game and he closed the door, before lounging on the bed, still just in his towel. He heard the water running then and groaned. Haru was filling the tub.

_I can be patient. He’ll be done eventually._

He jumped up and grabbed the computer and got online. Rin was off so he aimlessly flipped between tabs and different websites. He flashed to something he thought of a few days ago and soon he was engrossed in reading and flipping through images. He frowned at some things but others had potential.

“Something interesting?”

Haru’s voice startled him and he slammed the laptop closed.

“Makoto?” Haru’s head was tilted and he had a puzzled expression on his face. Makoto could feel the heat creeping up his neck and towards his face. He was pretty sure he was tomato red in a matter of seconds and he had absolutely no idea what to say.

“Ah.”

“Ah?”

“Well. Just looking.” He waved his hand around and cleared his throat.

“Which is why you’re so red.”

Makoto sighed and rubbed his face. Haru shook his head before joining him in bed. Only then did Makoto notice that Haru was wearing just a towel as well and another wave of heat washed over him, only for a different reason. It didn’t help matters that he held a whole bunch of new images to think of now.

“I was researching.”

“Researching.”

“Yes.”

“What, exactly?”

He sighed again and gave up, flipping the computer open. The browser was still up and at the same place, and he just waved his hand at it, his eyes fixed firmly somewhere on the opposite wall.

“That looks interesting.”

“I thought so.” He closed his eyes at that, wondering what possessed him to just say it out loud like that. Maybe Haru’s propensity for blurting things was contagious or something.

“We could try that.”

“Really?” Makoto squeaked and he could swear he experienced whiplash as he turned to stare at Haru. Clearing his throat he tried again. “I mean, yes?”

“Sure. We need to buy those first. We also need proper lube. Anything else here?”

Makoto was left clearing his throat again. “Ah, yes.” He clicked on a few more things and Haru hummed. “I don’t think I’d like that.”

“We are not doing anything either one of us doesn’t want.” Makoto was certain of one thing and that was that he never wanted to hurt Haru. He might be a bit more curious than he expected but that did not mean he ever wanted to push Haru into something he didn’t want.

Haru nodded and then frowned.

“I wonder if there’s a cookbook for this.”

Makoto was completely befuddled at that. He had no idea how food had anything to do with this.

“I mean you know, like instructions, for things to try.”

“Ooh.” He almost slapped himself, feeling dumb but in his defence, they were on a bed, almost naked, staring at sex positions and other goodies. It was a wonder he could think at all. “Yes, there are a few books, I’ve encountered mentions of those.”

“During research.”

“Ah, yes.” He blushed again.

“Makoto.” Haru lifted the computer and shut it closed then leaned over to put it on the nightstand, before straddling Makoto. “I am happy you take the time to look this up.” He got soundly kissed then and he stopped thinking about anything but the man in his arms.

Haru’s hands were everywhere, caressing his body. It was almost as if he was trying to map out every inch of it. Makoto did not want to interrupt him so he fastened his lips to the nearest piece of skin possible, which just happened to be Haru’s neck. He kissed the long column then sucked below his ear. Haru’s nails scratched his back at this and he felt like someone had suddenly connected him to a live wire.

He was fully hard within moments. One of his hands grabbed Haru’s hair before he even knew what he was doing and pulled it back, so that he could kiss him fully. It was a sloppy meeting of tongues and teeth but Makoto was past the thinking point. He moved onto his knees, one of his hands going below Haru’s arse and he lifted him, before flipping them over and getting rid of their towels.

Haru was sprawled before him, naked and hard, and Makoto could swear his mouth was watering.

“You liked that.”

He looked back at Haru whose eyes were narrowed and just nodded. There was no point in denying and he was past the point of embarrassment. He just wanted.

“Haru? If you say stop, I’ll stop.”

“I know.”

He nodded and then slowly spread Haru’s legs even further before settling down between them. Those strong thighs surrounded him and he couldn’t resist but kiss his way up the sensitive inner part. He could feel Haru shiver at every lick and suck. He’d reached his groin and saw Haru’s hips buck but he just ignored it and went to repeat the process on the other thigh. That got him a little whine but soon Haru was shivering again. A last suck, careful not to leave any marks, and he moved up.

Without much ceremony he sucked Haru’s cock into his mouth. He was glad that he remembered at the last moment to throw a hand over Haru’s hips and hold him down because Haru bucked, shouting at that and Makoto counted his lucky stars. Gagging would have been no fun. He swirled his tongue around Haru’s head, then probed the slit, feeling the precum leaking. He took in as much as he could and hummed, knowing Haru loved that. By the way Haru’s hand suddenly landed in his hair, and the vocal appreciation from above, he did indeed.

Makoto had other plans though.

There was something he saw the very first time he went looking for advice. It had intrigued him, titillating that part of him that he hadn’t even known existed up until that moment that delighted in the forbidden. He had quickly realized then that he’d need to be much more relaxed with himself first to try it, no matter how much he may have wanted to. Now though, he was sure they were already comfortable enough with each other and he was comfortable with himself to maybe give it a go.

He lifted his head off Haru’s cock, giving the underside vein one long lick and then switched to playing with his balls, sucking one, then the other into his mouth, making Haru moan above him. His other hand pushed Haru’s leg a bit further up before licking at his perineum. Haru groaned and his hand clenched in Makoto’s hair. He could see his destination now and Makoto's mouth watered.

He didn’t think about it much but licked his way down Haru’s cleft and then swiped his tongue over his rim. Haru stilled above him.

“Stop?”

He didn’t feel nervous when there was silence for a while, he let Haru process the idea. Makoto thought how weird it was, he was sure that just a month ago, and he would have been a nervous wreck wondering if he pushed too far. Now he was confident in both of them being able to enjoy this.

“No.”

Haru’s hand pushed him down before letting go and Makoto smiled in satisfaction. He moved a bit and grabbed Haru’s thigh, pushing it even higher. Haru got the idea and Makoto soon had all the space he needed. After stroking his skin once in thanks, he let go and concentrated on his task.

He started slow, to give Haru the time to get used to the sensations. He gently pressed with his tongue, then laved at the rim. He could practically see it quivering and he took the moment to give it a gentle jab. Haru’s loud, drawn out moan was his reward and he smiled before once again teasing the rim of the muscle. He licked a few times again, before sucking. Haru was now continuously moaning and his hips were twitching below Makoto’s arm. Makoto brought his hand up and sucked on his own finger before gently pressing in. He didn’t want to go too deep without proper lubrication but Haru was so relaxed from his ministrations that his finger effortlessly breached him.

His tongue joined the shallow motions of his finger that he was pushing slowly in and then out, teasing the rim. Withdrawing the finger, he pushed with his tongue only and Haru shouted. Makoto was fairly sure that his back would have been properly scratched then if Haru could reach, but instead both of Haru’s hands were now clenched in the bedspread, his thighs shaking with effort. Makoto groaned himself. The sight was making a mess of his head, and he became aware of his own hips moving against the bed. It was impossible to still them, not with Haru being so completely wrecked above him.

Makoto started moving his tongue again and then every once in a while stopping to suck and then tease him. Haru was completely relaxed and he pushed his tongue as far as he could, before reaching over to take his erection in hand too. This proved to be too much for Haru and a few pulls was all it took for him to spill all over Makoto’s hand.

He kept pumping, helping him through his orgasm and then he sat on his hunches watching Haru’s face, completely fascinated by his dishevelled look. He brought his fingers up to his mouth without thinking much about it and lapped at the semen there. Haru’s eyes opened, his pupils completely blown and Makoto paused, before deliberately flicking his tongue around his forefinger and then sucking.

He swore after he didn’t even see Haru move but the next he knew, he was being pushed backward and Haru had swallowed his cock, gripping his arse. Makoto could hear his own moans but he didn’t care because his mind was lost in the dual sensation. Haru hollowed out his cheeks and sucked, then hummed, his finger at the same time lightly teasing his hole. That was the first time Haru had done that and Makoto shouted, coming. Haru swallowed it all, lightly rubbing his finger across the rim and Makoto felt like his orgasm lasted forever.

Finally spent, Haru let him go, giving the head one last lick before coming up on his own knees and kissing him. Makoto somehow managed to at least try and kiss back because all his higher brain functions had been completely shot before they collapsed onto the bed.

It took a while for his breathing to come back to normal and he glanced at Haru, who was sprawled next to him. He found Haru looking at him, and he smiled.

“Excellent research skills Makoto.”

He blinked and then they started laughing.

_Excellent indeed, even if I do say so myself._

They cleaned up quickly and were soon drifting off to sleep, Makoto cuddling Haru, as was their custom. The last thing he thought of was that he needed to go and order a few things online tomorrow. He might even let Haru sit with him when he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone's coming back \o/
> 
> Makoto of course has things to overcome thanks to everything that has happened and luckily, Haru does know him well enough to read him properly. It'll take time as for some things all the words in the world won't help; actions and time will eventually reassure him.


	17. Chapter 17

#  Chapter 17

 

“Makoto! Can you get the door please?”

Haru was in the middle of a phone call with Hamasaki but Makoto was stuck with wet hands, being in the middle of washing the dishes. He poked his head out and saw Haru waving around some papers, before closing the door to the bedroom, and figured it must be the same competition related thing that he’s been going on about for days. He quickly grabbed the kitchen towel before heading for the door.

It was Sunday, which they considered to be their day so they certainly weren’t expecting anyone. _Might be one of the neighbours or something._ Makoto frowned then checked to see first, just in case. When he saw the person on the other end, he was shocked and flung the door open.

“Rin!” He spluttered. “What?”

The only answer he got was Rin throwing himself in his arms, laughing.

“Guess who!”

“I can’t believe you’re here! Wait, you shouldn’t be here! Your flight is not due till tomorrow evening.” Makoto was flustered but hugged him fiercely, he had missed the other man more than he thought he would, then waved him in, helping out with all the bags he was lugging with him. He supposed it was to be expected, since he was coming back but he sure did have a lot of stuff.

“They changed our flight because my coach figured it would be better to arrive on a weekend, so here I am.” He grinned, then hugged Makoto with one arm again, his other waving around. “I went to your place but of course, you weren’t there. I knew where to find you though.”

“Ah, yes, well,” Makoto rubbed his neck, “sorry about that but we really weren’t expecting you.”

“Not your fault at all. I completely forgot to email you due to having to pack unexpectedly a day early.” Rin was looking around and Makoto saw him frown. “Where’s Haru?”

“Arguing over the phone with another swimmer.” Makoto sighed and shook his head. “He probably didn’t hear us, what with the door closed.”

“Eh, arguing? Something wrong?”

“Not really.” Makoto shrugged. “He’s still having trouble with the idea of tapering.”

“Ah. Expected that. No wonder, not with how Haru is.” Rin clapped Makoto on the shoulder and grinned. “I’m here now, we’ll have that sorted out in no time.”

“Rin.”

“Don’t you worry Makoto.”

Makoto laughed and shook his head. He was glad to see Rin was still the same and things were bound to get interesting now.

“So. How are you two?”

“Eh. Well, we’re well, thank you.”

“Playing house I see.” He gestured at the kitchen towel Makoto had flung on his shoulder, while hurrying to get to the door and then laughed, winking.

Makoto blushed and just waved his hands. “You’re impossible. Let me get Haru, the way they were going this could take a while.” No sooner were those words out of his mouth, Haru flung the door open in obvious frustration. He spotted Rin then and Makoto almost burst out laughing at the surprise on his face.

“Rin!”

Rin laughed and flung himself at Haru this time, grabbing him in a hug, and yelped. “Haru!” They stayed that way for a few seconds, Makoto smiling at them both. It was obvious Rin had missed them just as much as they had missed him. Rin finally let go off Haru and sniffed.

“Oh Rin.” Makoto smiled and then hugged him again. He could see Haru’s eyes were shiny too and he imagine his own must have been as well. He extended one of his arms and Haru joined them, hugging them both. “Welcome home.” He could feel Haru nodding as his head was leaning against his shoulder and Rin was sniffling even louder.

“Three musketeers.”

“Eh?” Rin was blinking his tears away and Haru was suspiciously rubbing his eyes. “Oh! Yes!” He smiled then and sighed. “I’m so happy to be back.”

“There’s cake.” Haru said and marched to the kitchen leaving Rin blinking at his retreating form.

“We usually have something sweet on Sundays, Haru made cake. Actually we just had lunch, and were taking a little break before indulging. Oh wait, have you eaten? There’re leftovers.” Makoto was about to call after Haru when Rin stopped him. “No, it’s fine, don’t worry Makoto, I’ve eaten already. Cake sounds great though.”

“Good flight I hope?” Makoto asked as he sat on the couch and watched Rin throw himself in one of the chairs.

“Yes, though it’s such a pain to go through all the waiting. But yes. I’m happy to be home. Thank you for the apartment once again. I know it’s probably not exactly a sacrifice, considering,” Makoto flushed and rolled his eyes at that, “but seriously thank you.” Rin sighed. “I have an apartment chosen already but it won’t be available until then.”

“There’s no problem Rin.”

“Of course not. Makoto’s here most of the time anyway.” Haru added, appearing from the kitchen, carrying three plates and then handing them over. He sat on the couch, leaning on Makoto. “It’s a new one, should be good though.”

Makoto could see it was at least partially chocolate and his mouth watered. He speared a piece and brought it to his mouth, then promptly moaned. Haru was glancing at him but he could only shrug. It was divine, he couldn’t help himself. He licked the fork clean before smiling at him. “This may be one of the best so far, it’s incredible.”

“You two are sickeningly sweet. But Makoto’s right, this is amazing. When did you become such a good cook?” Rin was not much better from what Makoto could see, licking off his own fork, and he smiled then sliced off another mouthful and hummed.

“I always liked cooking.”

“Mackerel. And on rare occasions, some other fish. Granted, it was always great but this is very different.”

Makoto waved his fork around and swallowed before responding. “It’s his nutritionist’s fault. He told him in no uncertain terms that fish alone is not enough and then he started cooking other things too. He’s brilliant at it.” He could see Haru go pink at that and nudged him. “You are.”

Rin laughed and shook his head. “Honestly.” He took another bite and then his eyes widened. Makoto raised his eyebrows, wondering what happened. “Right, this reminds me. Tapering! What is it that I hear from Makoto?”

Haru groaned and buried his head in Makoto’s shoulder. “I just don’t see the point.”

“All right.” Rin nodded and Makoto frowned. That was not all right in any way. He saw Rin shrugging and was about to interrupt, when Rin grinned at Haru. “If you want to let me win, I’m not going to protest.”

“What?”

“If you want to let me win, I don’t mind. I mean I’m a little disappointed you’re giving up but what can I do.” He shrugged again and Makoto stuffed another piece of cake into his mouth to prevent himself from exclaiming. _Of course, perfect. If there is one thing that is a constant, it is their rivalry._ Haru straightened up, his eyes narrowed, and Makoto focused on his cake. _He is so easy._

“I am not giving up!”

“Then why won’t you do something that’s going to help you?” Rin raised his eyebrow. “Look Haru. You don’t think I understand? I do. You want to be at your best though, right?” Makoto could see Haru nod reluctantly. “Your coaches said this was right, Sousuke being one of them? You trust them, don’t you?” Haru nodded again. “There you go then.”

Makoto thought this might be a good moment for him to interfere and he rubbed Haru’s back. “You know they wouldn’t steer you wrong, especially Sousuke. Not after everything.” Haru let out a little whine and sighed, leaning into Makoto again, so he took the opportunity to tuck him into his side, his arm around Haru’s shoulders.

"You'll still have high intensity practices, that's better for us. Don't worry, you'll get plenty of time in the water Haru."

“Thank you Rin.” Haru said softly and then leaned up towards Makoto. He didn’t even hesitate and deposited a soft kiss on those lips, smiling. “Thank you Makoto.”

“No need for that.”

“Are you always like this? How does Sousuke stand the two of you?” Rin groaned and flung his arm across his eyes dramatically.

Haru smiled sweetly at him. “He is probably inspired to find someone for himself.”

“What?”

“He probably sees us and wants someone to be with himself.”

Rin was shaking his head at Haru now. “Not Sousuke.” Haru just shrugged at him, like he thought he knew better but Rin could suit himself. “Look.” Rin threw his hand out. “Do you know how much that man works? We can barely fit in a call every other day! What with your training, getting ready for University, studying more because Mizushima-san is demanding, he has no time for anything else.”

Haru shrugged again. “We’re busy too and we find the time. When it’s a relationship and you care, you find ways of figuring it out.” Makoto hummed at that. “Haru’s right. We work at it, it’s not like we are not busy either but we make sure to have the time for each other.” Inside he was practically singing because Haru was a genius! One of the things Makoto thought were a problem is that Rin saw Sousuke like a friend and was stuck in that mode. In order for him to realize his own feelings, he’d have to be prodded out of that mind-set. Getting him a little jealous was not a bad way.

“He would have told me. He hasn’t said a word.”

It was Makoto’s turn to shrug. “Do you even talk about anything but swimming?”

“Eh.”

“Exactly.” He nodded sagely at Rin. “You’re here now though, so you have the time to work on that.”

“We want to introduce you to our friends here, Hamasaki especially, but others too. We’ll go out after the Nationals at the latest, maybe even celebrate together. Yamazaki will be there of course. It’s a start.” Haru pointed out and Rin just stared at him. Makoto was giggling inside his head. He wondered when he’d become a matchmaker but he supposed he just wanted to see his friends happy, especially now that he’s found such happiness himself.

“I suppose you’re right. It’s just been a while.”

“It’s only natural. Maybe we can even persuade Haru to make us dinner one day after Nationals.” Makoto pointed out.

“You’ll be helping.”

“Makoto?” Rin sounded so surprised that Makoto laughed. “Oi. I’m not that bad anymore.”

“You do still have your fingers and neither of your apartments have burned down, so I guess.”

“That was the one time Rin, one single time.”

“It was water Makoto. Water.”

Makoto brandished his fork like a sword. “I won’t let you try any of Haru’s cakes if you continue that way.”

“Ha! I am sure Haru won’t deny me, right Haru?”

Haru just regarded them both with utter calm, before taking another bite. He swallowed and jerked his head towards Makoto. “Sorry Rin. He can bribe me in ways you cannot.”

“That’s not fair!” Rin exclaimed and Makoto just shrugged at him. “Oh all right. I believe you. But I want to try that dinner then.”

“I haven’t said yes yet.” Haru remarked and Makoto leaned over, whispering in his ear. “I can bribe you, you said it yourself.” That got him a quick glance and a long suffering sigh. “Fine.” Makoto and Rin cheered and Haru shook his head at them then got up and picked up their now empty plates.

“I have a desire to lick that.” Rin looked longingly after Haru's retreating form, and sighed.

“Haru or the plate?”

“Makoto!” Rin whipped his head around, his eyes like saucers and Makoto burst out laughing. “Haru’s a bad influence on you man!” Makoto saw Haru poke his head out of the kitchen and grin. “And you haven’t answered the question.” He smiled beatifically at him before disappearing again.

“You’re both terrible.” Rin suddenly yawned and Makoto realized he must be tired. He was certain he would probably be drained by now in his place so he clapped his hands.

“We’re going to have plenty of time to catch up. You’re tired. I’m going to help you to the apartment and then you can rest.”

“Oh Makoto. There’s no need to put yourself out. I just need the keys, that’s all.”

“You have all these things. You’re tired. It’s no bother. Come on, get dressed.”

“Better listen to him Rin. Once he makes up his mind, that’s it. You know it.” Haru said as he walked out of the kitchen. “Plus he’s right. We have all the time in the world now. You’ll tell us all about Australia and how it was, we’ll tell you what you missed. Go rest now, you look like you’re about to drop.”

Rin yawned again and sighed. “You’re right. Thanks Makoto that will be a big help.”

Makoto waved him off and went to get dressed.

“Sorry for interrupting your Sunday guys.”

“Don’t be silly. We’re happy to have you back.” Makoto saw Haru give him a quick hug, in an uncharacteristic show of emotion and smiled. He didn’t mind interruptions of this kind, when it meant Rin was back where he belonged.

They were both ready in a matter of minutes, and then argued for a good ten who was going to carry what. Makoto just yelled in the end and stunned Rin into obedience. He thought he might try this tactic again sometime, apparently people were so unused to him raising his voice that it was a sure thing. He filed that away, ignoring Haru’s bemused smirk and bent to kiss him.

“I’ll give your husband back soon Haru, don’t worry.”

“Rin!” Makoto stared at him and got an unrepentant grin in return.

“Later Haru!” He marched out, leaving Makoto with Haru, who just smiled at him.

“I’ll be back soon.”

“I’ll go call Hamasaki and tell him he can stop tearing his hair out. Hurry home.”

Makoto nodded happily and was off, with a spring in his step.

~~

Makoto glanced at the clock and smiled. He hadn’t been gone long, just over an hour and helping out Rin was important. He had only noticed how truly tired the other man was when they were about half way there, when he’d started flagging, even with Makoto carrying more of his things. By the time they had arrived to the apartment, he had dumped everything in the living room and proclaimed he’d take care of it later. Makoto had quickly shown him around, not that there was much to show anyway and then told him that they’d left some food for him in the fridge, which had earned him another hug. He’d told Rin to forget everything else just then and simply go to sleep. Rin had nodded at him and tiredly waved him off, obviously about to get horizontal.

He’d hurried home then, thinking about the fact they had an entire afternoon left just for themselves and even better, he didn’t have to think about the time and leaving. That thought especially had made him happy. It was only temporary, but still.

“I’m home!” He yelled into the silence. He took off his shoes, followed by his jacket and then frowned at the silence. “Haru?”

There was no answer and he wondered if he’d had to step out suddenly. Checking his phone only to find there were no messages, he walked into the living room and then looked at the closed bedroom door. Wincing, because he realized Haru might have fallen asleep, he hoped that his yelling hadn’t woken him up if that was the case. He tiptoed his way to the bedroom then slowly opened the door, trying to make as little noise as possible.

The first thing he noticed was that the light was dim and flickering every once in a while. It took his eyes a second to adjust to it. He blinked, glancing at the window and seeing the curtains had been drawn. He spotted Haru then, laying on the bed, smiling at him. He only had a light pair of sleeping pants on, the rest of his skin exposed to Makoto’s gaze. The light was from the candles he’d lit, and then the subtle fragrance hit him.

“Haru?” He could feel the smile bloom on his face and then get wider, when Haru beckoned him over with a crooked finger. Taking care to close the door, so as to not disturb the mood, he threw caution to the wind and crawled over the bed, to hover above Haru. “Hello.”

“Welcome home Makoto.” Haru’s low voice reached him and Haru’s fingers settled in his hair. He was being drawn down for a kiss and he readily complied. Their mouths met, tongues meeting and Makoto groaned. There was just something about kissing Haru. He had a feeling that no matter how far they end up going one day, kissing will always be something apart. Haru’s tongue explored his mouth, sucking on his teeth and he moaned, lowering himself to cover Haru. He knew his arms were about to give out, one kiss was all it took for Haru to reduce him to a quivering mass of need.

He cradled Haru’s head, pushing his tongue into Haru’s mouth, taking over the kiss. He couldn’t get enough of his taste, of him. Need for air won out and he broke their kiss, breathing fast. Haru’s arms embraced him and then he suddenly bucked, flipping them over. Makoto blinked rapidly, completely unprepared for the move but he had no time to process this new turn of events because Haru’s mouth was back on his, his tongue diving in and out, slowly driving Makoto mad.

“I’ve been thinking about this since last night.” Haru whispered then moved to kiss down Makoto’s jaw before attaching his lips to his neck and sucking. “Let me?”

Makoto suddenly had images from the night before flash before his eyes and felt himself grow completely hard. The idea of being at the receiving end of that kind of attention filled him with wild anticipation, especially since that one touch had been so amazing. “Of course.” He drew Haru back for another kiss before flopping down on the bed, letting Haru take over.

Haru peered over at the nightstand and grabbed a bottle, Makoto presumed the oil they liked to use and the idea caused him to flush. Haru set it aside for easy access then moved lower. He took off Makoto’s socks first then quickly undid the belt, popping the button and pulling down the zipper. He tapped Makoto’s hip and Makoto moved on automatic to let Haru pull his jeans down. They soon ended up on the floor and he was left in his briefs. Haru shifted up though, quickly unbuttoning his shirt, and Makoto helped him by getting rid of it.

He expected his briefs to go next but Haru apparently got distracted and was moving his palms up and down Makoto’s chest, as if petting him while seating himself on Makoto’s thighs. He was almost lulled into a state of relaxation which is why Haru scratching him on his next pass surprised him into a loud groan, his hips undulating. Haru attached his lips on that spot where his neck met his shoulder and sucked and Makoto grabbed his head, holding it. Haru shook him off though and rose.

He was silent for a few minutes and then smiled, taking both of Makoto’s hands and lifting them above his head.

“Hold on to that. Don’t let go. You let go, I stop.”

“What?” Makoto felt like he didn’t understand properly because Haru couldn’t possibly be serious, could he?

“If you let go, I’ll stop. Three chances is all you get.”

Makoto blinked at him, feeling incredulous. There was no way he could do that, especially not if he was right in what Haru wanted to do. Haru laughed and kissed him, still holding his hands. They twitched, his desire to thread them through Haru’s hair strong and he groaned.

“You can do it.” Haru whispered to him, before letting go and moving back to kiss his way down Makoto’s chest. Makoto clenched his hands on the bed post and thought that he was not so sure he could. When Haru sucked one of his nipples into his mouth, he moaned and then almost let go, forgetting the instructions in his pleasure. _Torture. This is going to be torture._

Haru luckily didn’t linger there much but moved lower, to his navel, tonguing it then gently biting on the rim. Haru’s hand palmed him through the briefs, as he thrust his tongue in and out of his navel and his hips began moving again. He thanked whatever deity that he could at least move those because keeping his hands still was already difficult. Haru looked up at him, smiled then licked his way down. He was mouthing him over the cloth of his briefs, the feelings muted and yet perhaps all the more exciting for it.

Haru tugged at his briefs and Makoto lifted his hips to allow him to take them off. He raised his eyebrow at Haru’s pants and then watched him get off the bed. He smiled when he saw Haru slowly slide them down his long legs only to reveal he wore no underwear. He was also fully hard. Widening his stance, all the while staring at Makoto, he licked his palm and then slowly pumped his erection.

Makoto groaned, the sight maddeningly erotic.

“Ah, ah.” Haru’s sing-song voice reached him and he snapped out of it, to realize his hands had started sliding off and he quickly gripped the bed post again. This was going to be impossible. Haru was too hot, he wanted him too much. Snapping back his focus to Haru, he saw him crawl back onto the bed, then grip Makoto’s ankles and spread his legs apart, only to settle between them.

Makoto didn’t have the time to feel embarrassed about how eager he was because Haru’s arm had landed across his hips while the other gripped his cock, holding the base. His lips attached to the head and Makoto was thankful he saw this coming and could only hold on tightly. He closed his eyes because the sight of Haru’s lips around his cock while his head bobbed up and down, all the while staring at Makoto, was short-circuiting his brain and he really didn’t want this to end.

By the time Haru moved lower, laving his balls and playing with them he was panting, his eyes squeezed shut.

He wasn’t prepared for Haru’s questing fingers that first teased his perineum then went lower, teasing his cleft. There was a pause and then just one, slick finger returned, rubbing circles around his hole. Makoto inhaled and tried to process the sensations. Little sparks of pleasure were dancing along his nerves and when Haru lightly pressed he moaned. It felt new and strange and wonderful. The pressure disappeared and he blinked.

“Makoto.”

He lifted his head to look at Haru and saw him smirking at him. He was about to ask why he’d stopped when he realized his hands were fisted in the sheet. He had absolutely no recollection of letting go and he flushed.

“One.”

Makoto groaned, then lifted them up again. He flexed his fingers and hoped this time would go better. Haru’s finger returned, making him sigh in pleasure. His cock was leaking nonstop now, and the little jabs and rubs were driving him wild. He wanted more so he lifted his hips in invitation, lifting his knees higher. Haru let his finger breach him and he moaned at the sensation.

Then Haru’s tongue licked him and he thought he’d lose it there and then. He remembered he had to keep his hands put and that distracted him enough that he managed to settle. It lasted all of a few seconds though because Haru had removed his finger and replaced it with his tongue and Makoto mewled, the assault to his senses immense. Haru’s hand loosened a bit and he could move his hips more easily. He was probably being ridiculously vocal but he couldn’t stop the sounds escaping his throat and a big part of him didn’t even want to. It felt amazing and he wanted Haru to know that.

When the finger returned, he groaned and clenched his hands. It was almost good to keep his hands still. He knew deep down that Haru wouldn’t really stop, even if he let go, but at the same time, the idea that he might was now exciting him further. He held on, feeling that finger slowly moving in and out, the slight burn mixing with the other sensations and enhancing them.

He was now almost riding it, Haru’s tongue joining in and teasing his rim. He almost sobbed when Haru’s finger twisted and rubbed that place inside him. He swore he could see light flicker in front of his eyes, the sensation shooting straight to his groin and he could feel his stomach muscles clench, his balls drawing up.

Makoto was close. He was moaning continuously now, trying desperately to hold on to the post and at the same time cope with the assault Haru was lavishing on him. He felt Haru’s finger move out and the next he knew, two replaced it. The burn, mixed with the pleasure, made his muscles lock and then Haru rubbed his prostate. He could feel his hands jerk but he managed to keep them in place and the dual sensations threw him over the edge. He shouted and his hips stuttered as he spilled over his stomach. He could hear Haru groaning but the sound was oddly removed, like he was in a tunnel.

A few moments later, or so he thought at least, Haru’s fingers left him and he whimpered, feeling oddly empty. He blinked and then Haru crawled up his body to smile at him.

“Makoto.”

“Hmm?”

A soft, long kiss, that had him humming at the end and he smiled back.

“You can let go now.”

It was then that he realized he was still holding on and he flushed. He had to force his fingers to let go and then flex them a few times to get the blood flowing again properly.

“That was…” he didn’t really know how to explain it, so he just drew Haru close again and kissed him. Breaking the kiss, Haru grinned. “You research. I improvise.”

“Works out then.” He kissed him again, their tongues meeting in a slow caress before whining. “I am not sure I can move but we definitely need a shower.” He looked at the bed and grimaced. They’d made a mess. “Also a change of sheets.”

Haru nodded, then rolled off him and Makoto suddenly felt cold, Haru’s heat gone.

“I’ll be right back, cover up for a bit, I’ll get the bath running. I think it’s safer in this case.” He laughed softly before disappearing through the bathroom door and Makoto could only agree. A nice, long soak would be just the thing.

He was pretty sure his arms were slightly trembling.

_It was so worth it though._

~~

Haru kept staring at the toothpaste.

Makoto had gone out even earlier than usual that day due to that group project that was still giving them grief which meant that Haru had been left alone to get ready for his morning run. He had sleepily waved Makoto off and then padded through the silent apartment straight to the bathroom. He usually brushed his teeth first so he had grabbed the toothbrush and reached for the toothpaste tube.

His hand had halted mid-air though, and he stared at it. He had been staring at it for a few minutes now, the same thought going through his head. _There is nothing wrong with that toothpaste._

His mother had said they’d argue, actually everyone just assumed they would.

The trouble was, they weren’t arguing. Not that Haru wanted to argue with Makoto, far from it, but still. It had been five days and they functioned just fine. He remembered her mentioning they might argue over the toothpaste so he now stared at it, wondering what might cause one. The trouble was, there was nothing wrong with the toothpaste. It sat there in its glass, a perfectly ordinary, somewhat used, tube of toothpaste.

_What am I doing?!_

He shook his head and grabbed the damn thing, quickly brushing his teeth, and the splashing water over his face, trying to wake up.

_Going insane apparently._

He sighed, towelling off and then went to change clothes. He should be glad that Makoto and he were getting along, without many issues and he was, he truly was. This was only a few days anyway and who knew what might pop up in the future or when they truly started living together, so he better enjoy the peace. His running shoes on, he slammed the door behind him then winced. Hoping he didn’t wake any of his neighbours by being so absent-minded and careless, he locked the door and was off.

A tiny part of his brain though kept going over everyone’s thoughts that people always argue when living together and even the usual calm that his morning run brought was absent.

By the time he’d reached the club, he was feeling cranky. That he didn’t actually have anything to be cranky about just made him feel even more so. He couldn’t wait to dive into the water and forget everything. It’s why he wasted very little time in changing and practically ran out to the pool.

“Whoa, Nanase. Where’s the fire?”

“In my head.”

“What?” Yamazaki was looking at him, obviously completely confused and honestly, Haru couldn’t blame him. He sighed then shook his head. “Let it go. Rough morning.”

“Ah well, don’t worry about it. Makoto and you will adapt to each other, plus it’s only two weeks so even if it isn’t perfect now, both of you will have a breather soon.”

Haru groaned, his head falling forward. The universe was conspiring against him. “Just, forget it. It’s fine.”

“Anyway, I’m glad I grabbed you in time, we’re going through the new routine today as we agreed so I want to keep an eye on you.”

Blinking at him, Haru remembered his tapering and groaned again. Honestly, this day was going just swell.

“Don’t even start Nanase. We're reducing the volume from this point on. Competition is right around the corner. Look, you’ve trained hard. You are going to be ready but let your body recover now. It’ll be fine.” He slapped him lightly on the arm and started walking towards the pool, Haru following.

Sousuke kept a close eye on him during his swim and though he did need to remind him a couple of times not to push, Haru felt much better once in the water, powering through. His mind cleared and he let himself think of nothing but the swim. He wasn’t even aware of the time passing and Sousuke waving him out startled him. He was reluctant to end the practice but at least he was truly refreshed mentally.

“Good, that was good.” Sousuke was nodding at him and poking around his tablet, probably imputing the information of the session and times.

“Where is Mizushima-san? I thought he’d be here.”

“Oh, he has an interview.”

“Eh?”

“Yes.” Sousuke looked at him and shrugged. “Ryuujin is a big name, not that you actually pay attention to those things, but with Japan Swim looming ahead of us, he was invited to do an interview for one of the sport shows that follows all the major ones. You should check it out, I’ll text you the info, it is tonight.”

“I’ll watch.”

“Good. You should.” Sousuke paused then sighed. “I’ve talked to Rin, he says he’s feeling good.”

“Yes, he was quite hyper when we talked to him last night.”

“He’s really grateful to have the space for himself. He also asked me a bunch of weird questions.”

“Did he?”

“Yes. He didn’t mention anything to you, did he?”

“Like?” Haru glanced at him and could see the perplexed look on Sousuke’s face. He could guess what this was about. They’d reached his locker, and he grabbed the things he needed to shower, then closed the door and leaned on it.

“If I’ve found anyone since he left.” Sousuke frowned and looked lost. “I have no idea what got into him. We’ve never actually discussed these things before.”

“Isn’t that good though?”

“What?”

Haru rolled his eyes. “Yamazaki, honestly. Isn’t his interest good? It’s fine to talk about swimming but what about the rest? You’re in the same city now, it’s only natural he’s showing more interest in other things.”

Sousuke was giving him a long look and Haru just stayed silent. “I suppose you’re right. I’m just not used to it.”

“You will in time.” Haru thought if anyone would have told him six months ago he’d be helping Sousuke with Rin, in a romantic sense, he’d had thought they were pulling one on him. “Don’t forget to ask some of your own questions or it’ll be dumb if he’s the only one doing it.”

“I’m not good at this Nanase.”

Haru sighed and looked up, trying not to roll his eyes again. “You’ll be fine. You are just not used to it. I know you like movies. You listen to music. Stop trying so hard and stop overthinking everything. Just relax and have fun with your friend for now.”

Sousuke squeezed his eyes shut for a second but nodded. “You’re right.”

“Yes.” Haru waved him off. “Now go, I need to shower. My gym session is starting soon after. I can’t be late.” Sousuke waved then and left him be. Haru thought that maybe he should have kept him after all. He hated gym.

Sighing he went about his day so that by the time he was home he was ready to just have a nice meal and lounge back. Maybe watch something. He walked in on Makoto in the middle of a paper explosion, with him talking to someone on the phone. He blinked, sketched a little wave and carefully manoeuvred around it all. Figuring it might be best to just not ask, unless of course Makoto offered, he moved to the bedroom, looking for a change of clothes.

“Oh Haru. Welcome home. I’m truly sorry about that.” Makoto was fretting, so he pulled his shirt down, and walked over to him. He stretched up and kissed him slowly, watching Makoto relax and then nodded.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“I’m sure you didn’t need to walk home after a practice and find that.” He waved vaguely at the other room and Haru saw he was genuinely upset at the idea of inconveniencing him. While he might not be the quickest in some situations, this he understood.

“This is your home too Makoto.”

“I’m only here for a few days, not even two weeks!” Makoto was rubbing his neck and Haru suppressed a sigh. “It’s not as if we’re actually living together.”

“Treat this place as your home because it is. Two weeks or not.” What he really wanted was to tell him to just move in and be done with it but he reasoned it was a bad moment probably. Makoto peeked at him from under his fringe and gave him a tentative smile. Haru kissed him. “Now, can I help?”

“Not really. We’re just deciding now how to handle the absence of that guy. He’s dropped out.” Makoto shrugged. “At least we have all the work split among ourselves and some of us already did parts of it, so hopefully we’ll make the deadline. I guess we can probably get an extension what with him leaving but we don’t want to. I am sure we can finish it!”

“Then you will. You can do anything you set your mind on.”

Makoto smiled at him, his smile slow and lazy and one of Haru’s favourites. He wondered when he decided which ones of Makoto’s smiles were those he liked best but then let it go; he simply had them, and that was all. “I’m going to rest a bit, then make dinner. You’ll take a break then and no arguing.” He just pushed Makoto out of the room, with the words to go do his thing, and flung himself on the bed.

A nice nap sounded good to him. Soon the sound of Makoto shuffling papers reached him and he smiled. It was actually soothing to hear him putter around. This had surprised him the first time he’d thought of it but it was the truth. He supposed it made the apartment homier. He relaxed and was soon asleep.

The constant beeping slowly tugged him out of sleep sometime later. He blinked into the dusk, startled by how long he’d apparently slept. Looking at his phone, he saw it was a text from Sousuke. It turned out to be the time and channel for his coach’s interview. He checked the clock and saw he had about an hour and figured that’d be enough. Walking out, he found Makoto bent over the desk, typing furiously and the papers had been stacked in neat little piles next to him. He didn’t want to disturb him so he headed straight for the kitchen, already thinking about what he might make.

“That smells wonderful.” Makoto’s voice came from behind him some time later and he smiled. “It’s a new recipe. I liked the sauce idea so I thought we’d try it and we happened to have all the ingredients already.”

He lifted the pan and then carefully doled out the sauce over the meat that he’d already laid on the plates. It did smell wonderful and his own mouth watered. Maybe he’d be willing to admit there were some other good dishes that didn’t contain mackerel. Even if it was just to himself, privately. Makoto took the plates from him, and he picked up the glasses and the napkins they might need.

“How was the first day of tapering?” Makoto asked after a while.

“Surprisingly good. I didn’t feel much of a difference to be honest but Yamazaki did say it’d be a progression, so we’ll see.” He shrugged lightly. “He also said that I should talk to them if anything at all is bothering me because this is a very individual thing. We’ll see how that goes.”

Makoto smiled. “It’s going to go fine. They do listen.”

“True.”

“Oh you said Sousuke? Mizushima-san wasn’t there?”

“Oh!” Haru remembered he forgot to tell Makoto about it. “He did an interview, what with him being highly regarded and the Nationals almost here. Yamazaki just texted me the time and channel, it’s what woke me up. We still have a few minutes left. Want to watch with me? It shouldn’t be long.”

“Yes, that’d be nice to see. Is it a specialized show?”

“He said so. Makes sense, it’s too early for others to show interest, I wonder if they even do, apart from when the big things are happening like the World’s or Olympics.”

“Remember how it was before Sochi and during it? Now it’s almost impossible to find anything and has it even been two months?” Makoto sighed. “It’ll still be fun to see the interview. Was it done at your pool?”

“No, at the one where the National team trains.”

“Where you’ll be swimming soon.” Makoto grinned at him and Haru had to smile back. It did feel good to know he had such confidence in Haru. He squeezed his hand in thanks and finished his meal. Makoto told him to just sit and relax and did the dishes so Haru settled on the couch and flipped to the right channel. Commercials were on and he laughed at some of the inane things you could see on those. Really, why would anyone buy things when the commercials were so stupid?

Makoto plopped down next to him just when the intro to the show started. “Ah, I’m not late, good.” They settled down to watch and it turned out to be quite a good show. Makoto was fascinated by some of the footage of actual training by the teams and they started bickering good-naturedly over the gym work one of their top athletes was shown doing. Haru was aware it was important, he just didn’t like it. They got so involved, laughing all along that they actually missed the start of the segment that interested them. Haru jerked when he heard a familiar voice and he shushed Makoto, who must realized right away who the man on the screen was, as he quieted down quickly.

Mizushima-san was talking about the prospects of his team and pointing out that he thought they had several Olympic hopefuls. Haru grinned when he mentioned breast-stroke because that had to be Hamasaki, without a doubt.

“Hamasaki must be pretty happy now.”

“Unless he’s being strangled by an over-enthusiastic Nagisa you mean.”

They laughed because she certainly would be over the Moon due to this. She loved her brother fiercely and was very proud of him. She’d already arranged to go with Makoto and Haru’s mother, though this time her own parents would be accompanying them. He had no idea if the boyfriend was coming too. He turned his attention back to the screen and the reporter was nodding at his coach.

“What about free, Mizushima-san? Japan hasn’t had a lot of success there.”

“Ah free.” His coach was stroking his chin and Haru groaned. He knew that look. He always had it when he thought he had a particularly fine idea which usually resulted in more torture for Haru. He could see Makoto quickly glance at him before focusing on the screen again, and he waited to hear the rest. “I would advise you to watch the free races carefully, the 50m, 100m and 200m especially. How should I put it? You might see something you have not seen before.” He laughed then and refused to elaborate when the reporter asked more, telling them that they’ll speak more once the Nationals were done.

Haru threw himself back against the couch and sighed resignedly. Makoto grabbed his arm, his smile wide and shook him. “He was talking about you Haru!”

“Yes.” He couldn’t resist smiling back at Makoto, his enthusiasm and happiness contagious and when Makoto leaned in for a kiss, he kissed back, stroking Makoto’s neck with his hand. “It’s good to see one’s coach so confident. It’s a bit of pressure too but it’s good to know they believe in me.”

He could feel Makoto reach around to rub his back. “Too much pressure?” He recognized it though as Makoto wondering if he was putting more on Haru too.

“No.” He shook his head and gently squeezed Makoto’s neck in reassurance. “It was difficult that last year in high school because I couldn’t find my dream; that was the pressure. This is different.” He wasn’t sure quite how to explain. “I know my times, I know we’ve worked hard. I can feel it. And I need to feel confident. To doubt is to lose. And I’m not going to lose Makoto. It’s good to be pushed like this. I’d say something if it got too much.” He leaned over and gave him another kiss. “It makes me happy to know you believe in me.”

“Of course I do.” Makoto caressed his cheek slowly, his eyes far away before he focused again on Haru. “I always have.”

Haru couldn’t do anything but smile at that because it was the truth. He’d always had Makoto’s support. “I know.” They kissed again, and Makoto groaned then pulled away.

“It’s not that I don’t love being together but that mess calls.” He pointed towards the desk and Haru gave him another affectionate squeeze before he got up, pulling Makoto with him. “I’ll go put another batch of laundry to wash, how do we go through things so quickly?” He wrinkled his nose. “More videos await me then, Yamazaki’s obsessed with my kick.”

“Have fun.” Makoto slapped his arse before heading for the desk, making Haru blink rapidly at the action. He smiled to himself and trudged off to the bathroom.

_Really, how do they get so dirty like this?_

~~

“What’s wrong Nanase?”

Haru was standing near the pool and staring at it, then turned to look at Mizushima-san.

“I think…”

Sousuke had joined them by then and was about to say something, when Mizushima-san motioned him to be quiet. 

Haru frowned. “I think a bit less than what we planned today would be good.”

“Less?” That obviously wasn’t what Sousuke had been expecting and it certainly wasn’t what Haru had expected just a few days ago but it’s how he felt today. “Yes, less.”

“All right.” His head coach nodded and gave him a light pat on the back. “Don’t look so surprised Nanase, you should know better by now.”

Haru flushed, feeling embarrassed because he did know better. He also deeply respected the man so wanted to explain it wasn’t that he didn’t trust him. “I do. I apologize. It’s just that I know you’re aware that I’m not a big fan of this.”

“True but you also swim like no-one else I’ve ever seen.” Haru’s head jerked up to look at him. “It’s the truth. You get into that pool and lose yourself in a world of your own, one I suspect we won’t ever but maybe lightly touch every once in a while, when on our own. But we do see it, through you, when you’re swimming. It’s a sight to behold.” Haru bowed, feeling touched beyond measure by the words. He didn’t know what to say so he stayed silent. He figured his coach understood anyway.

“Come on, Nanase, less it is.”

Haru knew he was right to call for less by the time he was done and out of the water. He sighed and then shrugged. He should trust himself in this.

“Did it feel awkward?”

“I’m sorry?” He wasn’t sure what Mizushima –san was asking him.

“Did it feel awkward while swimming?”

“Not really. It felt like it always does. But a longer practice would have pushed me too far, I’m sure of it now. This was the right length.”

“Good, good.”

“Why did you ask?” Haru was genuinely curious because that was an odd question in his experience.

“It happens to many swimmers during this time, they feel strange in the water. Ask Hamasaki, he’s been grumpy since yesterday. I did wonder when you asked for less yardage this time. Anyway, pay attention to how you’re carrying speed into your walls Nanase. Otherwise, we’re done. See you tomorrow. Take it easy the rest of the day.”

Haru nodded and said good bye. Taking a detour before he went home, he went to the market to grab a few things they were running out of. His phone rang but he didn’t want to disturb anyone, so he waited until he had paid and was outside to check who it was. He didn’t expect Rin, especially since they’d spend half the day together just two days ago. He’d been back for seven days now and slowly settling in. He dialled back, then waited for him to pick up.

“Ah Haru. Sorry if I caught you at a bad moment.”

“No, it’s fine. I was at the market.”

“Done for the day?” He could hear water in the distance so he guessed Rin was still at the pool.

“Yes, we cut it a bit short today.”

“Everything all right?”

“Yes, thanks, just felt right.”

“Good. I was, well I was wondering if you could recommend a café or something to me.” Rin sounded awkward now and Haru frowned then decided that he might as well stick to being blunt. They were used to him anyway.

“A date?”

“What? No. It’s just Sousuke.” If he was awkward before, it didn’t even cover how he stammered now. “We wanted to just hang out for a while. But I’m new here and the big lug doesn’t know any nice places. Can you imagine? I don’t really want to go to a restaurant though, so had to call you.”

“I know a few, Makoto and I like to go out on occasion. I’ll email you a couple names with directions, then you can pick.”

“Nothing romantic and shit, please.”

Haru had to roll his eyes at that. “Rin. Shut up.”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just nervous.”

“Oh?” Haru prodded him lightly. “It’s strange, it’s been strange ever since I got back. You and Makoto and your stupid advice. It got me thinking that maybe we do talk about swimming way too much. And now it’s strange.”

Haru bit his lip in order not to laugh. Rin was obviously confused but Haru had to let him work that one out on his own. It would be better in the long run.

“Don’t overthink it. Go out, have fun. You have plenty in common.”

“I know and it’s going well but it’s just…” Rin sounded lost and Haru wanted to give him a hug suddenly. He remembered when he was confused about Makoto and he wondered if it is maybe a bit more difficult if the person in question is a good friend. The reward was worth it though. “It’s just strange.” He finished Rin’s sentence, choosing to put him out of his misery. “I get it. Try and have fun though.”

“We will. Thanks Haru. Bye!”

“It’s nothing, I’ll send you that email as soon as I get home. Later.”

He finished the call, pocketed his phone and headed back. He was glad things were moving along but he hoped that it wouldn’t mess with Rin’s head too much. He had to be stable for the Nationals so he resolved to talk to him soon again, just to make sure. It didn’t seem like it was causing him trouble but better to check.

He let himself in, knowing Makoto wouldn’t be back yet. He had one of his long days and then another group session. He did seem happier about that project as that uncertainty was causing him most of the grief. Even with added workload now, he was actually less stressed because he knew exactly what he had to do. That reminded Haru to check about the application time for the summer training program. Makoto was keeping an eye on it but it never hurt to be safe. With this much of a work load he could easily forget. Haru snorted as he certainly wasn’t keeping track of much of anything past his training even though he probably should.

Walking into the kitchen first, he quickly washed his hands then put away the groceries and washed the breakfast dishes. They didn’t have the time that morning, both of them sleeping a bit later than usual, so they’d had to run. Having done that, he decided he could do with a bath. That always relaxed him and he could take a nice nap after. He checked to see if their flower needed watering, then walked into the bedroom, to pick out his lounge clothes.

As soon as he entered the bathroom though, he stopped and frowned.

_There is definitely something wrong with that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haru cheating on mackerel, whatever possessed me to write that ;)  
> You have no idea how much I wanted Rin back so this is one of the chapters I loved writing. It fit naturally though I do wish it could have been sooner.  
> We're also back to more swimming talk. In case you don't know, tapering is reducing practice in the days prior to competition. You rebuild tissue damage and restock on energy. It's not an absence of hard training, but rather strategic placement of intense efforts. It's a complete science though, so I've tried to insert just a thing or two into the text XD


	18. Chapter 18

#  Chapter 18

 

Red clashed with the white of the bathroom tiles and Haru’s eye twitched.

Two of Makoto’s dirty socks were staring at him from the middle of the bathroom floor. He sighed and then bent to pick them up. They’d bought that hamper a few days ago and yet, this was the third time in a row he’d seen Makoto leave his socks like this after his shower. Why he couldn’t just take them off and put them in the basket, Haru had no idea.

_Definitely something wrong._

Resolving to talk to Makoto about this later, he turned the water on, letting the tub fill and then stripped.

_I wonder if this is something we might argue about._

He watched the water level rise, lips pursed then rummaged through the cabinet to grab some of that wonderful lavender bath oil. He needed relaxing all right. Turning the tap off, and pouring enough to make it just the way he liked it, he put it back and then stepped in. The warm water was heaven for his muscles and he exhaled in relief. Grabbing a towel for his head, he leaned back, closing his eyes. It didn’t take long for his mind to go back to the Sock Problem.

_The Sock Problem? Who talks like that, in capitals?_

_Apparently I do._

_Never mind._

It shouldn’t really be a problem anyway. He would just tell him not to leave them like that, that it was a bit irritating and that should be that, right? Though, considering he did it practically every time he showered surely meant it was probably a habit of Makoto’s. Not a pretty habit, but one nonetheless. He had to talk to Makoto though, there was no way of him knowing it irritated Haru unless he told him so. Makoto wasn’t a mind reader. Satisfied with that, Haru relaxed back and let the water sooth him. He simply loved the smell of lavender.

Makoto had the best ideas.

When he found himself drifting off, he quickly rinsed off, dried himself and got dressed. His bed was beckoning so he got in and quickly fell asleep. He dreamt of an army of red socks surrounding his bed, trying to conquer it. Just as he was about to spear them to death with his trident, in one fell swoop, Makoto’s voice reached him. He jerked and quickly blinked awake.

“Haru?” The door creaked and Makoto’s whisper could be heard.

“I’m awake.” He croaked then coughed. His throat was parched and he only hoped that he hadn’t actually been shouting out loud the things he yelled in his dream. His neighbours would truly find him strange. Stranger.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Makoto sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out towards him and Haru took his hand. “No, it’s fine. I have to get up anyway.” He blinked again. Makoto looked tired. “Rough day?”

“Good day. Tough yes, but we’re going to be done in time.” He smiled and Haru smiled back.

“I’m glad. That’s a load off your shoulders!”

“It is. My grade’s going to hold, so it’s going to be all right.”

This reminded Haru of something he had wanted to ask a couple of times now but he had kept delaying. Now seemed a good moment.

“Makoto?”

“Hmm?” Makoto sprawled on the bed towards him, playing with Haru’s fingers.

“What is? Going to be all right I mean. It’s been a few times now and you always speak as if you have something in mind.”

Makoto’s fingers clenched around his own, and then he sighed. “Scholarship. When it all settled down a bit, I thought maybe I could find a way to be more independent and I went looking, found this as an option. I can apply for one and being this highly ranked would make it almost a certainty. It would significantly cut in on the money my parents are spending for my education.”

Haru tugged him closer and he followed, nuzzling Haru's shirt. Haru held Makoto close, hurting for him all over again. “Makoto.” The head on his chest rose and Makoto looked at him. “It’s better this way. They send me a fixed allowance to cover everything else, like the rent, as you know but the tuition is at least something I can do about. I can’t hold a job and work this hard and I’d save them more this way anyway.” He shrugged and went back to his previous position. Haru cradled him, combing his fingers through Makoto’s hair.

“I’ve thought about it a lot. At first, I think I was just too numb or something but later, I realized I could do this. And hey, they can save the money for the twins, later. You didn’t see them Haru, I mean that day we talked. They are just doing this because they feel it’s their duty, it would make them look bad in their own eyes if they stopped. I’d trade all the money for them actually supporting me and they don’t see it. But I’m grateful still, they could have cut me off completely.”

“I hate them.”

“Haru.”

“Let me. I know you can’t, but let me. I’ll hate them for us both.” Makoto was quiet and Haru knew he understood just like Haru understood Makoto was simply too kind to feel that intense of a negative emotion. He was hurt, unendingly hurt, he resented them but Haru hated them. He would never forgive them for this, even if they one day changed their minds. He didn’t have it in him.

He closed his eyes and the red socks danced in front of his eyes.

He thought how dumb a problem it truly was.

His eyes opened and smiled. That may actually be just what they needed now though. Something dumb. Clearing his throat he tugged on Makoto's hair. He propped himself up to look at Haru, squinting through the dark.

“Now. The Sock Problem.”

“Eh?”

“The Sock Problem. Makoto, I love you. But you leave socks…”

“When I shower!” Makoto groaned and his head thumped back onto Haru. “I know! I’m so sorry. It’s just one habit I can’t get rid of. I’m going to try my best though, I’m truly sorry.” His head popped back up quickly though. “You told me you love me again!”

“Counting?” Haru joked but Makoto nodded. “That’s three.”

“Well.” He cleared his throat, disarmed by this man. “I do. Enough not to actually care if you leave your socks on the bathroom floor.”

Makoto leaned forward and kissed him. “Even if it does irritate you, and I know it does. I will try my best.”

“Dinner?”

“Yes. But shower first for me. And probably more socks for you.”

~~

Makoto sleepily blinked into the morning light. He cuddled even closer against Haru who was obviously still asleep and thought that a few more moments wouldn’t hurt anyway. It was Saturday, two weeks that they’ve been together like this and he’d be going back to his apartment tomorrow. Probably. Rin was moving out that day, being helped by Sousuke so there was no reason for him to stay there any longer. Unless they talked about it and they have kind of been avoiding the subject. Makoto wasn’t sure if this was because they didn’t want it to end or if they were scared of taking that step but they hadn’t discussed it. He supposed they’d have to do it now.

It had been a great two weeks, he smiled thinking about it. Even counting the sock problem and the fact that Haru kept using the last of his juice in various food concoctions, they’d gotten along well. He would prefer it if he wouldn’t open the fridge to get some when he really needed something extra for studying only to find it gone but they were trying a compromise of buying extra, one specifically for Haru’s cooking, to see if that’d work. He figured it would most likely still end up with him and no juice every once in a while but Haru got stuck with his socks so a fair bargain.

His bladder protested and he sighed, finally moving to get out of the bed. Picking up the phone to see if any texts had arrived, he ambled over to the bathroom, blearily peering at the garbled message from Rin. _What café?_ He shook his head and ignored it in favour of getting himself awake and he went through his routine, finally trying to comb his hair into some semblance of an order.

He stretched, feeling rested and then blinked at himself in the mirror.

_Wait, it’s Saturday. Haru has practice. He’s going to be late!_

Makoto rushed into the other room, intent on waking him up. He had no idea how Haru had overslept, he was usually an early riser, getting up even before Makoto. He’d already missed his morning run but at least he could get in time to the pool, if he left now. Haru had turned on his back in the meantime, and his flushed face was now visible. His breathing was a bit raspy too, now that he paid attention to it.

“Haru?”

He was struggling to open his eyes and Makoto sat on the bed, feeling Haru’s forehead. As he thought, he was rather warm.

“Makoto?” Haru whispered, obviously a bit disorientated.

“Shh, it’s all right. You’ve got a bit of a fever running but it doesn’t seem too high.”

“What? I can’t get sick now!” He tried getting up, but then groaned, closing his eyes. “Headache.”

“To be expected. Just don’t move, I’m going to call Sousuke. He is helping Rin move today but he can call Mizushima-san and let him know you’re out for the count today.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“It’s going to be fine.” Makoto reached over and pushed his hair off his face. “Let me make the call, then we’ll take your temperature and get some liquids into you.”

“Thank you. I can’t believe this. At least it’s not “race day.””

“What is that?”

“We were supposed to come in as we would on actual competition morning, then go through the routine and swim full out, timing it. It was yesterday though so it’s fine.”

Haru’s eyes closed as he seemed to have exhausted himself with that little explanation and Makoto reached for the phone, dialling Sousuke.

“Tachibana.”

“Ah, Sousuke. Haru’s sick. Can you call the club please and let them know he’ll be missing today? It doesn’t seem like anything bad but there’s no way he can go in.”

“I can’t believe this.” Came from Haru again and Makoto patted his hip in comfort.

“Sick? Well, not unexpected. It happens to most at this time, some swimmers even get suspicious if it doesn’t! Just tell him to get some sleep, well, you know how it goes. I’ll make the call, no problem.”

“Thank you! I really appreciate it.”

They quickly wrapped up the conversation and Makoto tugged at Haru’s arm. “How about a shower? Warm water will do you good, might lower that fever a bit. I’m going to make you some tea too, then I’ll try and not burn the kitchen down while I make us lunch.” Haru nodded and Makoto helped him up, all the while rubbing his back. “Sousuke says this is pretty normal during tapering, you should be fine quite quickly.”

“He could have warned me.” Haru grumbled but shuffled to the bathroom, while Makoto relocated to the kitchen. He was just mixing Gatorade with some water when Haru’s phone rang. He quickly dropped everything and hurried back, answering without looking at the caller ID, expecting Sousuke.

“Hello.”

“Ah. Nanase?”

“No, it’s Tachibana Makoto.”

“Nanase’s partner? It’s Mizushima Daisuke.”

Makoto choked on air for a second. Thinking there was nothing to be done, he cleared his throat. “Yes, nice to meet you Mizushima-san.”

“Likewise. I’m glad Nanase has someone with him. Yamazaki just called me about him being sick.”

“Yes. He has a slight fever and he’s feeling sluggish. We were told it’s normal though?” Makoto rubbed his neck and sat down on the bed. Mizushima-san honestly didn’t seem to care about them, much like Haru had told him. It was such a relief to feel that in person.

“Yes, yes, that’s perfectly normal but not why I am calling. He hasn’t taken any medication yet?”

“No, nothing, Haru doesn’t like drugs. He’s taking a shower otherwise I’d get him for you. Would you like him to call you back?”

“No need. It’s better I talk to you anyway right now but pass it on to him too. I know Nanase is a bit of a free spirit so I imagine he just doesn’t pay much attention to anything but the damn water. Now he cannot take any medication without checking first if they are on the anti-doping list, or to make things easier, call me, and I’ll have the team physician contact you and let you know what is safe.”

“Oh!” Makoto suddenly stood up. Of course, he had completely forgotten but Haru would be undergoing anti-doping tests as a professional athlete and it was well known even some harmless things like hay fever medicines contained forbidden substances. “Of course, Mizushima-san, you can be sure I’ll let him know and if needs be, I’ll contact you. I’m studying to be a coach, even if for kids, and I am aware of the difficulties.”

“Ah, another future colleague, how wonderful! Former swimmer too?”

“Yes, yes actually. Backstroke. Haru, Matsuoka Rin and I used to swim in the same club as kids, we also did the relay together.” Makoto had no idea why he was babbling all of that to the man but he guessed it was because of the nerves.

“You swam the backstroke for the team relay at the Nationals where I met Nanase.”

“Yes, that was me.”

“You are talented Tachibana but I can understand the desire to pass on the love for the sport to the coming generations.” Makoto caught himself nodding and rolled his eyes at himself. “Yes, that’s exactly it Mizushima-san.”

“If you haven’t yet decided, make sure to check out our summer internship program. Be aware though, it’s highly competitive.”

“I am aware of it, sir, yes.”

“You did not learn about it from Nanase?” His voice was so incredulous that Makoto almost laughed.

“No, Hamasaki Nagisa told me.”

“Of course. Wonderful young lady. Please give her my regards when you see her. Also to Nanase, and tell him not to fret, as I imagine he will. This is normal, I’d be more worried if he didn’t get the sniffles.” Makoto remembered Sousuke saying something of the sort and smiled.

“Thank you, I will. And I’ll make sure he doesn’t take anything without previously consultation though I don’t think he’ll need any medication. It’s just a mild fever.”

“Good. Pleasure meeting you Tachibana, I am leaving it in your hands then. I imagine I’ll see you soon too, at Nationals. Have a good day.”

Makoto wished him one too and then hung up. He sat on the bed, staring at the phone, not quite believing that went so well when Haru shuffled out of the bathroom. “Were you talking to someone? I thought I heard voices.”

“You coach.”

“What did Sousuke want?” He crawled into the bed, obviously spent from the shower and sighed. “Makoto?”

“Your other coach.”

“Mizushima-san?”

“Yes, I’m so sorry. I didn’t check to see who it was when I picked up and then I couldn’t very well hang up…”

“Makoto, it is fine. Is something the matter? Did Sousuke not reach him?” Haru frowned, obviously not bothered in the least. “No, he did, it’s why he called. You can’t take any pills! I can’t believe I completely forgot. Anyway, he said to make sure not to take anything without calling him first. The club physician will take over then, though I don’t think you’ll need anything.” He moved to feel Haru’s forehead and though he was still warm, it was a bit less.

“I didn’t think of it either. Of course, the anti-doping rules.” Haru looked troubled he’d forgotten and Makoto gently kissed him.

“It’s all right, you didn’t take anything and now we’ll definitely know for the future.”

“I should make sure I keep those things in mind though.” Haru shook his head. “I won’t have you with me all the time, especially when we travel.”

“You’ll have the official doctor though, and your coaches, plus I doubt you’ll forget after today.” Makoto lightly poked him, and Haru nodded. “Yes. True, I doubt I’ll forget again.”

“Let me get you the Gatorade, I’ve watered it down like you taught me, so you can have something while I make tea. Be right back.” He pulled the curtains down first, to make the room darker and easier on Haru’s eyes then quickly grabbed the prepared drink and took it back to Haru. “Hydrate.” Tea didn’t take long either and he left Haru nicely settled, before returning to the kitchen.

He sighed. _I can do this. Haru’s been saying I have gotten better. It’s just soup and maybe, some sandwiches. Salad? Do we even have enough for that?_ He looked through the cupboards and the fridge and then decided that he might as well check for advice online. He had plenty of time after all, and Haru was dozing. It didn’t take him long to find a relatively simple recipe and he rubbed his hands together. Makoto was sure he could do this.

One tiny cut, some frustration and one undignified yelp later, he piled up the food on a large tray and padded to the bedroom. Haru blinked sleepily at him then smiled.

“Lunch?”

“Yes. I feel accomplished.” Makoto carefully put the tray on the bed then sat on the other side, Haru moving to sit too. “Wrap the blanket around you.”

That got him a fond look, and then Haru peered at the food. “What do we have here? Soup?”

“Tomato soup with chicken and tofu, with grilled sandwiches and a bit of salad if you’re up to it.” Makoto was really proud saying that. He had sampled a bit before, just to make sure everything had turned out right and it was quite good.

Haru picked up the soup bowl and inhaled, then carefully tried a bit, as it was still quite hot. “Oh, this is great Makoto, thank you!” He grinned and took another mouthful.

“You’re welcome.” They ate in silence interrupted by Haru’s hums and Makoto moaning around the sandwiches. The online place was right, they went great with the soup, so he was happy he decided to try it. Haru had his then polished off the salad too, making Makoto grin proudly. “I keep telling you, you’ve improved a lot since we got here. This was great.” Haru sighed, and then slumped against the cushions.

“Why am I so tired? I slept after I had that tea and I’m ready for more sleep.”

“It’s normal. You’ll be right as rain tomorrow.” He popped the last piece into his mouth, then got the tray and spent some time fixing the kitchen. By the time he was done and had poked his head in the bedroom, Haru was already asleep. Thinking he might as well do something productive, he chose one of his books, found his glasses and crawled on the bed to read it. He was already engrossed in it, when Haru’s hand landed on his chest, clenching in his shirt. He lifted his arm and nudged him and within moments, Haru was settled and asleep, curled against his side, his head on Makoto’s chest.

The next thing he knew, Haru was shaking him awake.

“Makoto. Wake up, your neck is going to be complaining if you at least don’t move a bit.”

He blinked his eyes open and realized he’d fallen asleep. His glasses had slipped and were precariously perched on top of his nose, so he pushed them back and then turned to Haru. Or tried turning because his neck was already complaining. “Uh.” He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to get it to relax. “We fell asleep.”

“You’re tired too. That project has been draining you.”

“It’s almost done. Just some final editing to be finished and we can turn it in, just in time. I can’t wait for this to be over. I have done some difficult things since we started but I’ve never wanted something to simply be over, as I do with this.”

“It’s because you were all under so much stress over that guy. At least you can celebrate soon!”

Makoto shifted a bit, so that they were face to face.

“Haru?”

“Hmm?”

Makoto wanted to bring up the apartment question but with Haru being poorly, the timing was wrong. They’d have to settle it tomorrow then, he thought and pasted on a smile.

“Want to sleep more or maybe watch a show?”

Haru’s nose scrunched and Makoto barely contained himself from kissing it. “Watch a show. I’ve been in bed all day. I feel like I might not get any sleep tonight if I nap again.” Makoto just nodded and helped him into the living room, then went to check the programme.

“Oh, Haru, there’s a well-known Olympics movie on, want to watch? It’s a double feature actually. I am not sure what the second one is though. It doesn’t say.”

“About swimming?”

“No, but it’s still good. I’ve heard it mentioned a number of times but never seen it, it’s old.” Makoto settled himself on the couch, Haru against him, then tucked the covers around them. “Here we go, “Chariots of Fire.” It’s about running, by the way. It’s set in the 1920s, about two runners and their path to the Olympics.” Makoto was scanning the little blurb that went along with the movie, thinking it sounded good.

It didn’t take long for them to get engrossed in it, their attention firmly held from start to finish. Makoto ended up clutching Haru to himself at the final races, wanting so badly for them to make it. Haru’s hands squeezed his and he knew Haru was feeling it too. When the credits rolled, Haru snuggled into Makoto’s chest, quiet.

“I hadn’t realized it was based on a true story. They didn’t mention that in the summary.” Makoto slowly threaded his fingers through Haru’s hair. “I am so glad they won. But sad that one died in the camps.”

“He’d achieved his dreams though, both of them.” Haru paused and Makoto tilted his head. There was obviously something that resonated with Haru there, within the movie, more than Makoto could see at first.

“Haru?”

“They were outsiders, weren’t they? Not really fitting into the society.”

It was then that Makoto understood. He hadn’t even thought of it, not at the time, but now he could see clearly. “Yes, yes they were.”

Haru nodded, snuggling down again.

The commercials were on and Makoto decided that another hot drink would do Haru good. He nudged him and got a whine for his efforts. “I’m going to make tea in the break. Don’t pout.” He kissed Haru’s pursed lips then almost laughed at the rapid blinking he got for his words.

“I was warm.”

“I’ll be quick about it.” He did try and it didn’t take long before he was back. “It still needs to steep but it can do that here.” Laying the tray on the little side-table he got them settled again. The movie started and this one turned out to be a great comedy about the Jamaican bob sleigh team. They were laughing and cheering them on soon and Makoto told Haru that he would drown him if he ever told anyone he managed to snort the tea up his nose thanks to a burst of laughter. Haru solemnly promised he would never, laughter in his eyes.

They clapped together in the end, Makoto feeling happy. “They won after all, in their own way.”

“Yes, they did. This was great.” Haru turned around, giving him a sloppy kiss then laughing. “I’m going to make a spot of dinner.”

“Haru, I can do that just fine. Lunch was good, wasn’t it?” Makoto could feel his own pout emerging but then Haru kissed him again, laughing. “Lunch was great but I feel the need to move around and making a quick dinner is not going to over-tire me. I won’t be long.” He didn’t wait for Makoto’s reply before disappearing and while Makoto would have complained a bit more usually, Haru’s kisses of comfort were always welcome, he was simply too happy to see he was bouncing back already. Sousuke had been right, this was nothing indeed, by Monday he should be right as rain.

His phone rang then and he had to scramble from under the blankets to get to it. His eyebrows lifted at the name on the screen.

“Nanase-san. Good evening.”

“Makoto, good evening. How are you?”

“Ah well, thank you for asking. You?” Makoto wondered why she might be calling him. He hoped nothing was wrong and then he remembered he had sent her an email a few days ago about the details for the Nationals. “You are still coming?”

“Of course. I got the details just fine, thank you. Is Haru there?”

“In the kitchen, making dinner. Just a second, I’ll go get him.”

“No, no need.” Makoto frowned at her halting speech. “I just wanted to tell you that though kind of you to ask, his father won’t be joining us, so we won’t be needing that ticket. He has yet another business trip so he’ll be absent.”

His mouth in a tight line, Makoto closed his eyes. He wondered how pressing that business trip was. At this point, it seemed pretty clear Haru’s father just did not want to attend and everything else was an excuse. Oh he was sure there was a business trip, just as he was sure it could have easily been postponed. One’s son did not fight for his place in the Japanese National Team, with a good chance of winning, every day after all.

This though, was not Haru’s mother’s fault.

“I’m really sorry Nanase-san.”

“It’s not your fault Makoto, and it’s not Haru’s. The blame lies solely on one set of shoulders. Well, there are limits to everything.” Before Makoto thought to ask what she meant with that, she continued. “I’m staying at the same hotel as last time so you boys know where to reach me if anything comes up. I’m arriving the day before competition but I won’t disturb you. We’ll meet in front of the pool as you suggested.”

“Yes, that sounds great. Would you mind sending us a text you’ve arrived safely anyway? I think we’ll feel better if we know the trip went well, no matter how short it is.”

“My son is a lucky man.” Makoto felt himself turn red and stammered a thank you, which just elicited a delighted laugh from her. They said their goodbyes and Makoto went back to the couch, seating himself. He twirled the phone in his hands, and then sighed. He had to tell Haru, there was no way around it but he wasn’t looking forward to it. They had been having such a good time too, he was loathe to spoil it.

Haru walked out, wiping his hands down. “Almost ready, just need to finish the salad. Who were you talking to?”

“Your mother. She called about the Nationals.”

“Of course she called you and not me.” Haru smiled though, shaking his head. “What did she say?”

“Ah.” Makoto rubbed his neck, not sure if there was a way to say this and soften the news.

“Makoto.” Haru sat down next to him, leaning into his side. “He’s not coming. I expected as much.”

“I’m sorry Haru. I just didn’t know how to say it.”

“I know.” He tilted his head up and Makoto cupped his cheeks, kissing him gently. “It’s not our fault. You were right you know, that day. It’s not that it doesn’t matter, it does but I want to live our lives to the fullest and I will not let this spoil it for me.”

Makoto nodded, knowing that it must hurt, as it hurt him. There was always that constant pain, somewhere in the back of his head, that would jump up at him unexpectedly. Sometimes he wouldn’t think of it for a few days, sometimes he’d remember constantly. But he believed in what he said then, and he believed in it now. Makoto kissed him again, this time a slow kiss of promise.

They smiled at each other and if it the emotions were underlined with a tinge of sadness, they were starker, more defined due to it.

“Did she say anything else?”

“Just that she’s staying at the same hotel as the last time, she’s coming in the day prior to it but she won’t disturb us. I did tell her to send us a text anyway, to let us know she’s arrived safely.”

“Thank you. It’ll be good to know.”

Makoto nodded, then remembered what she said and blushed. Haru looked at him inquisitively but Makoto just shook his head. “Makoto? What?” Haru grinned.

“No, nothing.”

“It’s something all right if you’re that red!” Haru laughed and swatted him with the kitchen towel. “Tell me.”

“Really, Haru. It’s nothing.” Makoto just waved his hands, hoping that Haru would drop it and when he got a nod, he relaxed. Which is why he was not prepared when Haru suddenly tickled him. He giggled then laughed. “Haru!”

“I won’t stop until you tell me.” He wiggled his fingers at Makoto who started backing up on the couch only to hit the armrest. There was no way he was going to say anything, it was way too embarrassing, but that meant he would have to endure. Haru was grinning and he managed to breathe in at least when he got attacked again, squirming, and unable to get away.

They completely forgot their dinner, the apartment echoing with Makoto’s shrieks of laughter mingled with Haru’s cackles.

~~

Makoto was staring at the clock in the living room. When the big hand hit the twelve he sighed. Four. Sunday had gone perfectly. They had slept in late, cuddling a bit before finally emerging from the bedroom. Haru had made a beeline to the kitchen and Makoto wandered around, finally having settled on a random show to make the time pass. They’d eaten, amicably arguing over who sang better in whatever that contest was, that Makoto had stopped on, then simply lazed around. Haru had gone to do his stretch routine twice, feeling almost back to normal, and Makoto had read.

Now it was four and they had to have that conversation.

“Thinking hard.” Makoto was startled by Haru’s soft words. He hadn’t heard him approach, he could move quite silently when he wanted. He watched him sit down, one hand thrown against the pillows, his head cocked in question.

“Time flew.” After seeing Haru’s puzzled expression, Makoto figured he could be a bit more specific. “Since Rin arrived I mean.” That got him a nod and left him in a bind. He had no idea how to move the conversation along. Haru sighed.

“We didn’t argue.”

“What?”

“We didn’t argue. Not even about the toothpaste.”

“What’s wrong with the toothpaste?” Makoto felt like he’d stepped into some other world, because he had no clue what Haru was going on about. _Why would we argue about the toothpaste? There’s nothing wrong with the toothpaste._ “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with the toothpaste?”

“I know.” Haru nodded, sighing again. “Even the Sock Problem and the Juice Problem got settled without arguing. I mean we talked and we’re not perfect but we’re trying.”

“Did you use all the juice again just now?”

“No, I just took half a cup, you have plenty for tomorrow.”

“Ah, good.”

“See, we’re not arguing.”

Makoto shook his head. “Haru. I don’t understand. Should we argue?”

“Yes.”

“What? No, why should we argue!”

Haru shrugged.

Makoto rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Wait. Are we arguing about not arguing?”

Haru raised his eyebrow. “I guess you could say that.” He smiled then and nodded. “We’re better off not arguing. I mean we got a bit irritated with each other overall but we worked it out, right?”

Makoto was almost afraid to answer. “Yes.”

“Good. Now will you come live with me? Or stay, living with me?”

There was only silence and Makoto was sure he’d never blinked as much in his life. He had no idea how what was probably the strangest conversation he’d ever had ended up on that point but he was quite sure he knew what Haru was asking. He just wished he understood how they got there.

“Eh?”

Haru shrugged. “Everyone said we would argue and that how we worked through those would point us whether we’re ready for this or not. But we didn’t argue! The toothpaste was fine and we worked out the slight differences by compromising. And now we argued finally and worked that out too just fine.” He smiled. “And you took care of me when I was sick. And I want to live with you.”

Makoto smiled. “And you listened to me whine about that guy. And I want to live with you too.”

“Good.” Haru clapped his hands together once. “That’s that.”

“Wait, what. Haru.” That got him an eyebrow and he sighed. “We have to talk about things first!” The eyebrow stayed up. “Money for one!”

“You pay half the bills, we share in the other expenses.” Makoto rubbed his face with his hands. “There is the rent.” But Haru was already shaking his head. “There’s no rent to pay. Mother owns this place. Your parents give you a fixed amount anyway, that you distribute.”

“I don’t want you to think I’m using you.” That got him an incredulous look and he cringed. “What I mean is, I told you I might go to the dorms to reduce their expenses and if I move here, that would do so even more.”

“Makoto.” Haru’s voice was soft and he shuffled closer. Makoto shrugged, looking down. “I just feel better saying it. I would never do that.” Haru’s hand cupped his chin, lifting his head. “I know. But always tell me what worries you.” He was kissed lightly and he smiled.

“Anything else?”

“Not really. Money was the big thing.” Makoto tugged Haru forward, hugging him. “We’ll probably find other things to work out as time passes but I think we’ll do all right as long as we talk.”

“I don’t think there’s ever going to be something wrong with the toothpaste.”

Makoto laughed and then couldn’t help himself but kissed him, a deep, passionate kiss. They both groaned and Haru’s head landed on his shoulder. “We can’t. Kiss me again like that and I’ll forget.”

Makoto laughed again, shaking his head. He was sure he’d forget too. _So much for reliable Makoto. But Haru is a temptation I am never going to be able to resist._

Haru’s phone rang in that very moment and Makoto grinned. “Saved by the bell!” He stayed on the couch, watching Haru move and felt happy. He couldn’t believe it went so smoothly. Apart from that massive case of confusion but still. He was aware there would be people who would say they were rushing into it and he simply didn’t care.

They were going to live, live how they both wanted.

“Makoto?”

“Oh, sorry Haru, what was that?”

“Hamasaki is asking us out. It’s Sunday true but since next week we won’t be able to, he wanted one relaxing night before Nationals start.”

“Yes, I’d like to but if you’re not up to it, due to yesterday?” He was sure Haru was fine and if he dressed well there should be no problems. They wouldn’t stay too long anyway.

“I’d love to go. A break would do us both good. Shall we call Rin?”

Makoto nodded, grinning. “Great idea, let me. You get the time and place from Nagisa.”

“How do you know which Hamasaki I’m talking to?”

Makoto raised his eyebrows, and Haru sighed. “Point.” He turned back to the conversation while Makoto grabbed his phone and dialled.

“Makoto. Hey. What’s up?”

“Fancy going out? We’re meeting with the Hamasaki siblings, you’ve sort of met them already. Nagisa suggested a relaxing night while you still can.”

“Whenever you say Nagisa I think of our Nagisa first. But yes, and can I call Sousuke?” Makoto smiled, giving Haru the thumbs up and mouthing Sousuke’s name. That got him a nod and a whisper that Sousuke knows the restaurant then, they didn’t have to go pick up Rin. ”Ah of course, sorry about that. Haru was telling me about the place. Sousuke’s been with us there before, just tell him it’s where he met them. He’ll know.”

“Ha! If he can find it again but yes, that’s great. When?” Makoto relayed the question and they played telephone for a bit until they all decided an hour was good. Nobody wanted to stay out too late, Makoto and Nagisa both had classes while the others had practices. With that, they both hung up and went about getting ready. Haru borrowed one of Makoto’s sweatshirts, saying it was the only thing that made him feel properly warm and Makoto grinned like a fool all the way to the restaurant.

~~

“Ah Haru, I like your sweatshirt. It’s a bit big though.”

Rin was smirking at them and Makoto sighed. Haru gave him a level look before picking up his tea. “It’s Makoto’s.” Makoto sighed again.

Nagisa grinned at them. “I like your friend Rin.”

Haru just leaned into Makoto who wondered if he should just go with it too.

They’d all made good time and gotten to the restaurant at almost the same moment. It had been one rowdy bunch, introductions being properly made, and they soon filed into the place. That is after they managed to get Nagisa to stop poking Rin’s teeth. Of course he had no problem proudly displaying them and in the end her brother had to drag her off. Makoto had seen Sousuke rub the bridge of his nose in exasperation and he commiserated. Haru had acted like the whole thing was perfectly normal which in his somewhat odd world view, it probably was.

Makoto was wishing that maybe he had a splash of something alcoholic in his tea. They’d all opted for no alcohol and he wondered if he’d regret it before the night was over. Sometimes a person just needed something stronger.

Sousuke gave Rin a light tap on the head which just got him a grin. Exchanging a look with Sousuke, he decided to ignore it and leaned over. “I forgot to ask, you’re not sitting with us this time, right?”

“No, I’m going to be with Haru. Mizushima-san has several swimmers after all. But I’ll come see you, I know where you’re seated. There’re going to be breaks, considering Haru’s in three disciplines.” Makoto nodded and glanced at the others. Hamasaki was staring in, most likely horrified, wonder at Nagisa and Rin who were razzing each other and trying to draw Haru in. Makoto could have told them that was a wasted effort but he suspected they knew and were just having fun. He wondered if they’d keel over if Haru actually joined in.

He turned to Sousuke who had a small smile on his face, and lowered his voice. “How was the café?”

A startled look and a groan followed that and he waved it off. “They’re too busy with each other, don’t worry.”

“It was awkward. But better, you were right. I didn’t even realize how many more things we have in common. Though we’re at complete opposites at others. It was also fun.” He glanced at Makoto, a small smile on his face.

“Good.” Makoto patted his hand. He was aware they couldn’t talk much more than that but he was glad to have heard this much. “Oh you were right about the cold, it’s almost completely gone.”

“Who’s sick?” Nagisa suddenly sat up, serious. Makoto waved her hands, to reassure her everyone is fine. “Haru was a bit under the weather but it is fine now.”

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come over, you know that.” He could tell she was serious and he was immensely thankful they had such great friends. Haru leaned forward so he could see her properly and smiled. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you.” She waved him off, and Makoto figured it would be better to fully explain.

“I called Sousuke because he was missing practice yesterday but he said it was common in the tapering period.”

“Oh! True that. If he’s fine now, no problem. But do call me next time, just in case. He hasn’t taken anything, right?”

Both Makoto and Haru sighed. “Luckily, no. We’d completely forgotten.”

Sousuke slapped his forehead and groaned. “I can’t believe I didn’t say anything. I know how Haru is and I forgot.”

“Hey!” Haru looked affronted then winced. They had forgotten after all.

“Nothing happened. Plus Mizushima-san called to check on that very thing, gave us instructions to call him if Haru got to a point where he needed something. He would have called the team physician.”

It was Sousuke’s turn to wince. “He’s going to give me a lecture about this tomorrow. As he should. I can’t believe I forgot to remind you.”

Makoto felt badly for Sousuke, especially as Haru himself had also forgotten. They were all told at the introduction about medication and anti-doping regulations. Makoto knew about it too of course but at the time, it hadn’t even occurred to him. “It’s why you’re learning now Sousuke. It’s all about experience.” He realized the man would still feel guilty, it was simply how Sousuke was but he had to try. “You’ll see, he’ll lecture but he won’t be mad. He wasn’t when he talked to me.”

“Wait, he talked to you?”

“Haru was in the shower and I picked up the phone on automatic, without looking.”

Rin cleared his throat. “Who did you say you were?”

“He asked if I was Haru’s partner. I said yes and he just went on, explaining what to do. He said it was good I was with Haru during that.” Makoto thought he’d probably always remember the relief he experienced at that moment.

“He knows?” Rin sounded perplexed and Makoto remembered they hadn’t told him about that. Haru cut in, nodding. “I thought it was best if I told him, since Makoto and I have decided we want to be open about it. He was very accepting, we are quite fortunate.”

Hamasaki nodded. “I remember when we first discussed it. You were right to tell him but he’s a good man. I’m glad it all went well.”

“Of course,” Nagisa cut in, her hands on her hips, “if you had just called me first, as you should have, none of this would have happened. Serves you right.” She nodded and grinned at them.

They laughed and Makoto assured her that she was going to be their personal doctor from then on though he certainly hoped there wouldn’t be too many instances where they’d need her.

“We still don’t have the backstroke guy.” Hamasaki morosely sighed into his drink and Nagisa groaned.

“It will happen.” Haru nodded and drank his own tea.

“We should have Makoto scout for us.” Rin was pointing at him with his own cup.

“What?” His voice was high but honestly.

“Oh there’s a good idea.” Hamasaki was almost bouncing in his chair. “You swam backstroke, didn’t you?”

“He did.” Haru answered for him and Makoto decided then and there he’d pay for that. He didn’t care that they all already knew, but he’d pay.

“Excellent. You’ll be watching the races anyway so check out the candidates. There has to be someone who’d fit us.”

“I don’t see how Makoto is supposed to do that though.” Nagisa cut in and Makoto looked at her in surprise. He might not swim any longer but he could still tell who was a possible option, especially in his own former discipline. “I honestly don’t see how Makoto can tell who is weird enough, just by how they swim. Because it’s quite clear that the proper way to join this relay is not just to swim well, but to be a resident of the same weird alternate reality you all inhabit.” Her face was serious and she raised her hands in surrender.

There was a moment of silence and then Rin snickered. “She’s right on that point you know.” That set them off, Sousuke rubbing the bridge of his nose, Makoto sighing again. He’d lost count by then.

~~

“I got the keys back from Rin.”

Makoto got them out of his pocket and jiggled. They’d arrived home and were putting away their jackets so he remembered when he felt the odd weight on one side.

“That’s good, I’m glad he didn’t forget. You can set the rest in motion now.”

Makoto nodded. “I’ll make the call tomorrow, there should be no problems, but we’re not moving anything until after Nationals are done.”

“It won’t take long.” Haru snickered and Makoto shook his head. “True. But one thing especially has to make the move.”

“Oh?”

“My gift.” He kissed Haru at that, knowing he realized right away what Makoto was referring to. “Can we put it up in the bedroom?”

“Of course. Anywhere you like.”

“We’ll decide together.”

Makoto smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever since I wrote this one, I have a permanent image in my head of Haru keeping a trident behind the bathroom door and using it to pick up socks when Makoto forgets. I only have myself to blame.  
> Here come the Nationals, the following two chapters XD  
> Oh if you haven't seen Chariots of Fire, I highly recommend it. It's about Eric Liddell, a Scottish Christian and Harold Abrahams, an English Jew and their road to, and participation in the 1924 Olympic Games. Incredible story. Of course it also contains the now legendary Vangelis music :)


	19. Chapter 19

#  Chapter 19

 

Makoto was observing Haru doing yet another set of exercises. Thursday was looming on the horizon, and Haru was going right into the pool, his first two races being held on that day, of course providing he made it at least into the B finals but Makoto wasn’t even thinking about that. He was sure he’d be watching him swim in the Finals.

Sousuke and Mizushima-san have both told Haru that if he gets a bit nervous, wanting to train more, to simply go through his stretching routines, to keep his mind occupied and Makoto was glad for their foresight. It seemed to calm Haru down, getting through the familiar patterns and repetitions. Makoto was certain Haru’d be fine on the day of the race and he, himself would be a nervous wreck, but right now Makoto was successfully keeping his cool. He supposed they complimented each other in this way too.

Rin was starting on Thursday as well but only in his butterfly discipline. His coach had put his foot down, since it wasn’t a major competition year, and restricted free to one discipline only, the 50m, favouring Rin’s better one, butterfly. Makoto privately agreed because Rin was an incredible butterfly swimmer and there was time to work on his stamina for next year so he could do both. This more than anything was about getting them through those first big races. It may be the Japanese Nationals but with Japan being a force in swimming, the international community was keeping an eye on them too.

“Done.” Haru’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he focused on him.

“Better?”

“Yes. It’s a really good way for me to centre myself again, I must thank them for the suggestion tomorrow.” He shook his head then joined Makoto on the couch. “Not studying?”

“Finished everything in the library apart from some readings, which I can do later.”

“You don’t have to put things on hold for me Makoto. I may be a bit more nervous than I thought I’d be but it should be fine.”

Makoto shook his head and extended his hand. Haru took it, then snuggled into Makoto’s side. “I’m not. I can be a pretty good planner when I want to, I have everything finished in advance, so I’m just keeping up with things now. Don’t worry about me.” He gave Haru’s hair a little tug. “I think it’s pretty normal to be nervous by the way, I’m going to be a nervous wreck on Thursday.”

“Oh thank you Makoto.” Haru laughed. “That’s a boost in confidence.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

Haru lifted his head, his eyes smiling. “I’m joking.”

“Haru! That’s mean!” Makoto spluttered but then he had to laugh as well. “Anyway.” He cleared his throat, pretending to be serious, but feeling a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I’m glad Rin’s there, even if he isn’t doing the 100m free this time around.”

Haru sighed. “I know he’s miffed but his coach is right. It’s better to start smaller, then expand.”

“Is Mizushima-san still talking about the 400m for you?”

“Yes. Sousuke won’t shut up about it either.” He could feel Haru shrug at that. “It’s not that I disagree about it but I’ve not done that length before. I need more stamina for it. There’s time to think about that, I’m not averse to expanding.”

“Of course not. I’m sure you can do it. At least take comfort that Sousuke’s not talking about the 1500m.”

Haru lifted his head and frowned. “Please don’t ever say that in his vicinity.”

Makoto laughed because while Haru was joking, it was Sousuke and one never knew with him. “If you stick with the relay I think that’s plenty of races for you anyway. At least for this Olympics.”

“What?”

“You’re just starting Haru. Participating in two Olympic Games is hardly impossible, on the contrary.”

Haru waved his hand and cleared his throat. “Can we stick to the talk about this one, that’s over two years away anyhow? I cannot think that far ahead.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll talk to Sousuke when he starts in. And he will.”

Haru groaned and patted Makoto’s hand. “My saviour.”

“Just for that you’re making me that cake on page 124 of your dessert cookbook.”

That got a delighted laugh out of Haru. “What? Which one?” He was up in a flash, grabbing the book and Makoto grinned. “Ooh. This looks interesting. Of course it’s chocolate.”

He nodded. “You know me and chocolate.”

“I do.” Haru laughed. “Weekend after the Nationals, if I win? A little private celebration?”

Makoto wasn’t quite sure if he was imagining it, or if Haru’s voice had an additional note to it but considering he had a pretty good idea what he was thinking of, if he was right, he just smiled and nodded. He’ll take all the dessert in this world, when it was Haru. Closing the book, Haru plopped back down and sighed.

“Another movie?”

“Another movie.”

~~

“Nanase-san!” Makoto waved vigorously and sure enough, she turned towards his voice, looking relieved. Makoto briskly walked towards her, happy that he’d found her so quickly.

Haru had been picked up by the team van early in the morning, Makoto hugging him fiercely before he had let him go. He had been right in his prediction too. Haru had been calm, already completely focused and almost detached while Makoto had woken with a nasty case of nerves that only got worse when he’d seen Haru off. They had had a quiet evening, snuggled together, Haru keeping close to Makoto as much as he could, saying it calmed him and Makoto had been more than happy to indulge him.

Once Haru had left, Makoto puttered around the apartment for a while before getting dressed and heading for the Tatsumi International Pool, the location of the four day event. Haru’s mother was scheduled to meet with him and he had known he’d prefer waiting there, outside than anything else.

In the end, he had spotted her right away, apparently she had been as anxious as he had been so had arrived early.

“Ah Makoto. Thank goodness you’re so tall.” She smiled at him and then gave him a gentle hug. Makoto returned it, careful not to squeeze too much, happy to see her.

“Easy to see over the crowd!”

“I am so nervous!” She fanned herself with her hand, even though it was quite nippy outside and Makoto could commiserate. “I suppose it’s not every day one’s son enters the National Championships but I still can’t help it. I’m glad you’re here, it’ll be easier in company.” She hooked her hand into the crook of Makoto’s arm, and tugged him towards the stadium.

“Yes, that’s true. I was with Sousuke last time and one of our friends from Tokyo, the young woman we mentioned to you. We’ll meet her inside a bit later. Her brother is set to swim today as well.”

“That’s wonderful. I think I’ll like meeting some of your friends.”

They got in and Makoto had to fish out their passes. They were waved through and then slowly walked on. It didn’t take long to locate their seats and Nagisa who had insisted on them had been right, they were excellent. Makoto peered around and wondered if this section was reserved for the family and friends, and maybe even some of the press as most had the same kind of passes as they did. Actually he was pretty sure that the two men next to him were from the press, and if he was right, one was the journalist who interviewed Mizushima-san for that show.

“So, tell me how this is going to go.” Haru’s mother looked at him. She was biting her lower lip so he patted her hand.

“We have 100m free first. They start with heats and then dependent on that, there are the Finals and B Finals. We’re lucky as Haru’s swimming in heat number 4, last for his discipline, so we’ll know right away if he’s advanced and to which one.”

“It’s determined by the best times, not placement, right?”

“Yes. He’s not the first person we’ll be seeing though, Rin is swimming ahead of him, the 50m butterfly heats are the third discipline of the day, the free fifth.”

“How is he going to swim both?” She sounded genuinely concerned and Makoto shook his head.

“He’s not, at least not this year. His coach got him to postpone it for next year, considering he already has the three events for butterfly so they’ve settled for just the one event in free, the 50m one.” Makoto smiled at her, trying to reassure her. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine. Both he and Haru will have that many by the time Olympics come.” He could see the journalist side eye him, obviously catching the last sentence, his curiosity probably peaked by the unknown names, but he ignored him. He’d find out soon enough anyhow.

“Five? Oh, the relay of course. I hope they get picked for that naturally but which is the fifth for Haru?”

Makoto laughed. “It will be the 400m free but don’t ask him about that. Both his coaches are already planning for next year and it’s driving him crazy. Sousuke especially is very insistent that Haru would do great there and Mizushima-san agreed.”

“Oh Tachibana!”

Surprised by the sound of his own name, he looked up and smiled when he spotted Sousuke. He waved him over. “Sousuke! This is a surprise. I was sure we’d see each other during the break only.”

“I wanted to see if you found your places just fine.”

“Oh! Let me introduce you. Yamazaki Sousuke, Haru’s second coach. Sousuke, Nanase Yukiko, Haru’s mother.”

“Yamazaki-san, pleasure to meet you. Thank you for taking care of my son!”

“Ah, nothing to thank me for. It’s a pleasure. Nanase’s extremely talented. He is going to go very, very far.” Sousuke was smiling confidently and Makoto could see the journalist was openly listening to their conversation now. He had the rosters so he could easily find that there was a Nanase Haruka on the free list, swimming under team Ryuujin. Sousuke was also wearing the official Ryuujin jacket, along with his pass as one of the coaches.

“How is Haru doing?” His mother sounded anxious but Yamazaki just laughed.

“I don’t think he’s quite present, Nanase-san. I’ve never seen such concentration.”

Makoto nodded. “It’s like that for him, on race day. I think he’s already swimming in his head.” That got him a serious nod from Sousuke because he certainly knew Haru by now. “All right, I’m glad to have seen you, I’m going to go back to him now, just in case. We’ll see each other during the break, I’ll give you a ring Makoto.”

They waved him off. “Such a nice young man. Obviously talented too.”

“Sousuke is a great talent indeed. He was an incredible swimmer too but injury stopped his progress. He has found his calling now though.”

“Oh how sad.” She frowned, sighing. “I am sorry to hear that but at least he found himself in coaching. How very fortunate that he’s in such good hands too. And that Haru got to work with him.”

“Yes.” Makoto paused. He wasn’t sure how to explain that one so he thought working around the truth was probably for the best as Haru had. “Remember, Haru mentioned him to you, about knowing each other from before. It’s a small world.”

“Well now. I’d forgotten! It truly is!” She glanced at her watch and sighed. “This is nerve-wracking.”

“It will get better once the races start, at least our attention will be diverted.”

“Makoto!” He turned towards the voice and laughed. Nagisa was waving madly at him and he waved back. She was next to them in a matter of seconds, throwing herself in his embrace. Makoto blinked rapidly, not having expected it, but just hugged her back. “Nagisa. You’ve made it!”

“Yes.” She grinned. “I was so afraid I’d be late!”

“Wait, weren’t you supposed to come with your parents?”

“Last minute thing, they had to go.” She shrugged, obviously not happy about it but then she peeked at Haru’s mother and raised her eyebrows at Makoto.

“Oh, right! Nanase-san. This is the young woman we keep talking about, Hamasaki Nagisa. Nagisa, meet Haru’s mother, Nanase Yukiko.” They said their hellos and Makoto remembered he had a perfect way to distract them. “Nanase-san, if you remember, I told you she was studying medicine. Nagisa, Nanase-san is a doctor herself.”

He was right because that was all it took for the two of them to get started. Makoto smiled to himself, checking the watch every few minutes. Finally he pulled out his phone, finding a text from the other Nagisa, wishing Haru the best of luck, with a little addendum by Rei to please tell Nanase senpai to swim especially beautifully. Due to their school obligations they were forced to miss the event and were quite sad about the whole thing. They’d spent over an hour chatting with them a few days ago, Makoto reminding them that there will be other opportunities, as Haru was just beginning and they’d be at University this time next year, so that would make it much easier for them to plan.

He checked his watch again and saw it was about to start. Looking around he could now see that the audience numbers was slowly growing too. It was morning so he thought people wouldn’t be able to attend due to work or school but it was still filling up. He wiped his damp palms on his jeans when the announcement system came to life, welcoming everyone.

His arm was gripped and he had to admit he was so glad that he wasn’t alone in the stands. He gripped back and saw Haru’s mother trying to smile at him. He nodded. “It’s going to be fine.”

She breathed in loudly, trying to relax and by then the first swimmers were filing out. They clapped, it was the first heat for the women’s 400m freestyle. “They swim about four minutes or so Nanase-san, so this is going to take a while.”

“How many heats?”

“Four, just like in Haru’s.”

It turned out that it went much faster than they anticipated. They got into cheering for everyone and before they knew it, they had gone through the heats for that and the next event. Makoto glanced at the roster and grinned at the two women.

“Here we go. Rin’s up now. He’s in heat three though, so we’ll have to wait a bit.”

“Little shark is going to eat the other fish.” Nagisa cackled and Makoto shook his head. Those two had hit it off but it was good to see her so confident. Makoto was too but that didn’t prevent him from still being nervous.

Soon, it was Rin’s turn. Makoto checked which lane was assigned to him, and then pointed him out to the other two. He was aware of what this meant for Rin. It wasn’t as if there would be no other chances of course but starting off in the best way possible was always a huge confidence boost. He was nibbling on his lower lip in anxiety and almost jumped when the race started.

It was over before he could completely process and he realized he was on his feet cheering. Rin had won his heat, with a good time too. Haru’s mother was clapping enthusiastically next to him and Nagisa even gave a loud whoop. They grinned to each other in happiness.

“Just one more?” Haru’s mother asked and he had to shake his head.

“No, five for his discipline, so two more but I think it’s going to be just fine. His time is quite good!” Makoto nodded and soon it turned out he was quite correct. Rin was in the finals, second overall in times and they cheered.

“All right, this set of heats and then it is Haru’s turn.”

“Makoto, please tell me this one doesn’t have five as well.” He laughed and shook his head. “Only four.” He looked at his phone and decided that it wouldn’t hurt to fire off a quick text to Sousuke. He was probably unable to track Rin’s progress so he just quickly typed up he was through and sent it. He got a return text in a matter of seconds, just a bunch of exclamation marks, and laughed. He hoped the day would continue like this.

The races didn’t exactly fly by, but time still ticked on. Makoto was quiet and he noticed Haru’s mother was too. Even Nagisa was unusually silent. He was sure she recognized it was simply impossible to calm this anxiety and one just had to wait it out. After all, she’d done this same thing the year before and she had more experience at just watching. Makoto didn’t like this feeling that there was nothing he could do to help Haru, or even just be with him at this moment, the way Sousuke was. Feeling envious of the man, he shook his head. _Feelings are honestly ridiculous sometimes._

One good thing about his internal monologue was that the next time he paid attention to the scoreboard, it was listing out the final placement order for the just held discipline and then it switched to announcing the 100m heats.

“Here we go!” Nagisa was exclaiming from his right and he breathed deeply.

“Oh there’re fewer of them!” Nanase-san was craning her neck and Makoto nodded. He was glad her attention was distracted by at least something even if it wasn’t actually helping him. He wondered if he was this much of a nervous wreck even during the team try-outs and decided that no, no he wasn’t. This was so much worse.

“I can’t believe it Makoto.” He raised his eyebrows at her and she waved her hand towards the pool. “Haru has always loved swimming, it was always such a huge part of him. After a while, I don’t think we even noticed, it was just what Haru did.” She shook her head then, her eyes flying over the water, expression one of mixed incredulity and joy. “But to be on the National stage like this? To swim and fight to be one of the best in Japan? To dream of doing more? It is just such a huge thing.”

“Haru was born to do this Nanase-san. It’s not just talent, it’s hard work too though.” Sometimes people believed it came easy to those talented but it simply was not so. He had a need to say this, even though he suspected she understood. “He persevered in the face of some truly difficult things.” This got him a side-glance but she didn’t ask, so he continued. “He’s worked really hard to get here.”

She nodded and smiled and he ducked his head, embarrassed, knowing she could see right through him. “Thank you for being there for him Makoto.”

His head snapped up, he hadn’t expected her to say that so could only answer honestly. “There is nowhere else I’d rather be Nanase-san.” She nodded again and then the sound of the start of heat one snapped them both out of their little world. The three heats flew by, Makoto keeping a track of the times and feeling himself start to breathe just slightly easier. He knew what Haru was capable of, he’d sat in on enough discussions he’d had with Sousuke and he had made sure to stay informed so this was making him feel better.

He was about to say so to Nanase-san but his phone buzzed and distracted him. It was from Sousuke and he panicked for one instant before he saw the text of “Breathe, Makoto.” displayed on the screen. He laughed, shaking his head, the tension definitely easing. _Well no wonder, Sousuke was with me last time, but I owe him a drink for this._ He tilted the screen towards Nanase-san and she lifted her eyebrows up, before looking then laughed as well. “He’s a good man.”

“He is.” He smiled because what he was about to say was true and it made him happy. Haru was going to need good people around him, embarking on a difficult career, with a stressful path ahead of him. “They are good friends.”

The scoreboard changed again and it was time for Haru’s first race. His hand was gripped and before thinking much about it, he took her hand in his own. They would support each other through this and it would be easier like that. Nagisa let out a small squeal and he leaned forward and smiled at her. She was another good friend, and he was happy she was there.

It was then that the swimmers filed out and Makoto pointed out lane three to Haru’s mother. As the last time he watched him, he could see that Haru was indeed somewhere far away. To others he would simply seem very calm and focused, his face impassive but to Makoto, who knew him best, it was obvious that Haru was actually completely absent. He thought that was good, as the cheers and the people wouldn’t be distracting him.

They’d gotten on the start blocks and Makoto had to remind himself to breathe. The buzz sounded and he watched Haru’s form fly through the air, diving before emerging onto the surface and then cutting through the water in his distinctive elegance. A part of him wondered if Haru’s coaches were happy with Haru’s kick while the rest just stared in awe, transfixed by the beauty of it. He hadn’t seen Haru swim for a while, since he’d had all his practices at the team pool now, with the coach situation resolved, and he could see the tiny differences, obviously result of long practice. If anything, he thought he looked even more beautiful in the water now.

He blinked and Haru was already reaching for the wall. He was ahead of everyone and Makoto whipped his head up, towards the clock. It stopped at below forty nine seconds and Makoto inhaled sharply. “Makoto? What’s wrong?” Nanase-san’s hand tightened on his and he shook his head to reassure her. “Nothing’s wrong. He’s first, Nanase-san, this is the best time all morning!”

It was like a dam broke for both of them and they were out of their seats cheering, joined by a very loud Nagisa. Makoto could see Haru glance up at the scoreboard then submerge himself, before ripping off the cap and shaking out his hair.

He wished he could be there to help him out of the pool.

He sighed and hoped Haru knew that. Shaking that off, he resumed cheering and watched Haru leave the pool, feeling stupidly happy. Of course this was just the start and they still had the main event but one hurdle had been overcome and a great beginning like this could only positively influence him for later.

He back down, and was soon joined by Nanase-san, who had a huge smile on her face. Nagisa was smiling just as much. “Did you see him Makoto? He was incredible in the team meet already but he is just so…” She seemed lost for words, waving her hands around. “He’s so beautiful when in the water.” She smiled and Makoto nodded at her. “And imagine, this wasn’t even him swimming all out!”

“It wasn’t?” Nanase-san sounded confused and Nagisa shook her head. “There is always a bit of holding back for the best swimmers, as they know the main event is to come. I can’t wait to see how fast he can truly go!” She clapped her hands and almost seemed to vibrate in her chair.

“That was interesting, pretty fast for a heat.” Makoto could hear the murmurs to his left and smiled. Things were going to get even more interesting past the finals, he was certain of it. He watched the two women lost in their excited chatter, and kept thinking about all the wonderful things to come. Haru was capable of so much, and Rin as well. His eyes flew to the scoreboard and saw that one of the disciplines had flew by already and Hamasaki’s was up next. Yes, another person to cheer, another one who is capable of so much in their little circle of friends now.

“This is Nagisa’s brother coming up next.” Her eyes grew wide and she suddenly stood up, surprising Makoto. He wasn’t sure what she wanted but then she saw her push Nagisa into her seat, and sit down in hers. Nagisa was now tucked in between them and Makoto grinned, taking Nagisa’s hand. Nagisa was a bit pale now, anxious about her brother but smiled at them in thanks.

They had to wait for the last heat but then he was there and Nagisa was squeezing his hand in a death grip. Makoto didn’t mind, he understood after all but there was no need for their worries. Hamasaki after all was the runner up from the last Nationals and had spent his time working hard and improving even more. By the time the race was done, he was waving from the pool and his name was flashing on top of the rankings. Makoto finally breathed out and relaxed.

“I’m so happy for you two Nagisa! He was great.” He nodded at her and could see her eyes shining with tears. She leaned into him and he gave her a one-armed hug. “I just wish they were here to see him.” She cleared her head and sighed. “Oh well. Some things cannot be changed.” Smiling, she thanked Nanase-san once again and Makoto stared at the pool, thinking about parents and children.

~~

Makoto blinked at the clouds, trying to get his eyes used to natural sunlight.

They had used the last, long discipline to relax and decompress a bit, mostly just watching in silence and were now standing in the hall, quietly talking. His phone buzzed and he blinked at Sousuke’s name.

“Yes, Sousuke?”

“Where are you three?”

“Ah. In the hall, trying to decide what to do about lunch.”

“We’re going to collect Rin and Hamasaki and be there in about ten minutes, wait for us!” That was followed by the dial tone and Makoto shook his head. _So straightforward. But I have to admit quite efficient._ He relayed the message to his companions, which elicited silent squeals from Nagisa, who was eager to see her brother and a big smile from Haru’s mother, who was still beaming with pride. Makoto was impatient to see Haru himself, so he bounced on his toes which got him an indulgent look from Nanase-san. He blushed and shrugged. _So embarrassing._

“Makoto!” Rin’s voice was heard a few minutes after that and he was being bowled over by him. He gave him a big hug and a few pats on the back, while Rin clutched at him. “Congratulations Rin, well done!”

“He was too anxious.” An older voice came from the side and Makoto spied a man he hadn’t seen before but figured must be Rin’s coach. He hadn’t known the man spoke Japanese but felt grateful because he was not sure he’d ever dare try out his English on someone. Rin shrugged, his ears red and then quickly made the introductions. Makoto welcomed him to Japan, which got him a smile.

“I should thank you Tachibana-san, Rin here tells me it is you we have to thank we did not spend ten days confined with each other.”

“Ah, it was nothing!” Makoto smiled, waving him off. Considering how everything ended up, he didn’t feel like there was anything to thank him for. He could feel himself blush and cleared his throat. “Really.”

“Sousuke and Haru will be right out, Hamasaki too. They stayed to pick up their lunches.” He waved his own bentou at them. “It’s important to eat properly otherwise it could actually cause trouble.” Makoto nodded, and then saw Haru’s mother fire off a barrage of questions at a blinking Rin. His coach took over the explanation and Rin was seized by Nagisa, who kept needling him happily.

“Shark boy needs to eat all the fish next time. I am most displeased.”

“Oi!” Rin rubbed his neck and shrugged. “I was so nervous. I didn’t think I would be but there it was. Haru helped. Oh there they are.”

Makoto filed away that piece of information to ask Haru later and turned and grinned. Haru had his usual impassive face but his eyes were sparkling. Makoto smiled at him and waved, which got him a small smile in return.

“Hey.”

“Congratulations Haru! I don’t want to jinx anything but that was great!” Makoto bounced on his toes again, his hands itching to give him a hug but holding himself back. Haru though just leaned into his side, needing contact too and Makoto rubbed his back. “How are you?”

A nod and another smile. “I’m fine. Hungry though.” Haru’s mother cleared her throat and Makoto blushed. They tended to get lost in their own little world and honestly, now was not the time. Haru quickly glanced at him, shrugging slightly then let himself be hugged. His mother was babbling praises at him and Makoto had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing because he could see Haru getting flustered and pinking up. He cleared his throat after a few moments, knowing how Haru was, and she waved her hands at them. “Ah, look at me, going on and on. And you’re hungry too.”

Makoto took the chance to congratulate Hamasaki, who was being strangled by his sister and got a heartfelt thank you from him in return. He wasn’t sure if it was because it made Nagisa let go a bit or because of the congratulations but he thought probably both. He was about to ask if they were going anywhere special when he spotted Sousuke lurking just outside of their little circle.

Walking up to him, he gave him a quick bow, startling the man. “Thank you Sousuke, for everything.”

“Nothing to thank me for Tachibana.”

“Yes, there is.”

“Makoto is right.” Haru’s soft voice suddenly chimed in. He had joined them and bowed to Sousuke who was obviously embarrassed by it all but also pleased.

“Thank me after you win the Nationals.” Sousuke nodded and Makoto laughed. Haru just squinted at him.

“All right.”

“Yamazaki is right Nanase, let’s wait for tonight, or better yet, let’s wait for Sunday. There are many races to come.” Makoto turned to the owner of the voice and suddenly felt the desire to go back to the other group. Mizushima-san was an imposing figure and he was still a little bit awkward, considering that phone call. “Though,” the man continued, slapping Sousuke on the back, “he has a point Yamazaki.”

Haru obviously didn’t share Makoto’s concerns so he just agreed with his coach, then introduced Makoto. He stammered a bit but overall it went pretty painlessly. Mizushima-san shooed them away soon, reminding Sousuke when they needed to be back and then went to join some of his own acquaintances who were waiting for him by the door.

“Where are we going?” Haru asked and then got an armful of Nagisa, who just joined him.

“I am not going to congratulate you now, I’ll do it tonight.” She grinned at him and Makoto thought that he could see shark teeth even though of course the woman had none. “We’re going to this little place near here that Akira and I discovered last year. It’s pretty quiet, so we’ll be fine and you three can unwind a bit.”

They all slowly filed out of the stadium, Makoto inhaling deeply when they were finally outdoors. Hamasaki siblings led the way, then Sousuke, with Rin and Haru’s mother who was praising him on his heat, making him red in the face and then Haru and Makoto slowly trailing after them. Haru’s hand slipped into his briefly and smiled down at him. He couldn’t deny a part of him was still anxious but a much bigger part of him was simply happy to be able to feel connected to Haru.

“Tired?”

“No, I feel fine. I am glad we can take this break though.” Makoto nodded, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go. He remembered well from their high school competition that it wasn’t easy keeping in the right state of mind for an entire day. He couldn’t imagine how much the pressure was at this level but he figured it would only get bigger, especially if Haru managed to achieve everything he aimed for.

The place Nagisa spoke of was a little hole in the wall restaurant, and they had to sit at two tables, Rin and Sousuke with her and Hamasaki, while Makoto and Haru sat with his mother. They ordered, while Haru unpacked his bentou.

“What have you got there?”

“Tuna sandwich, with a salad.” He had a sports drink too with that, that he jiggled at them and smiled. “We actually tried a few things out to see what bothers me the least.”

“That’s smart, not all people react the same way.” Nanase-san was peering at the food. “Anything else?”

“There are snacks, if I need more later, like nuts, dried fruit or just sports drinks.”

She nodded, and their food arrived at just that moment, so they dug in. It didn’t take long for Haru to demolish his lunch and he relaxed back, his eyes almost closed. Makoto kept an eye on him, while quietly talking to his mother about sports nutrition. She obviously knew her son so didn’t bother him with any questions and just concentrated on Makoto, further talking to him about his own studies and explaining in more detail some of the things he’d encountered recently during one of his lectures.

The scrape of chairs from behind made him turn and he saw Sousuke rising and walking over to them. He put a hand on Haru’s shoulder and squeezed. “We need to get back soon so it’d be better if we leave now, not to rush.” Haru sighed and nodded, slowly collecting all his things. Makoto waved the waiter over but before he could pay, he got shushed away by Haru’s mother who just would not hear of it. She told him to treat her lunch when he got a job and smiled at his stuttering.

“This summer.”

“What?” He turned to Haru, completely confused.

“When you get that internship, this summer.”

Makoto sighed. “If I get it Haru.”

“You will.” He got up and walked outside, leaving Makoto protesting into thin air.

“You’re the same when it comes to him, you know Makoto.” Nanase-san smiled at him.

“Well, I…” He really didn’t know what to say and shrugged, smiling shyly causing her to laugh and tug him outside. They joined Haru who was standing with his eyes closed, head tilted back, enjoying the sun rays and Makoto was transfixed by the beauty of him. He tangled their hands together and Haru opened his eyes, tilting his head. “Ready to go?” Makoto just nodded though he honestly wasn’t. They had no choice because the others joined them and much too soon for Makoto’s liking they found themselves at the pool again.

“This is it. We’re off everyone.”

There were hugs all around and if Makoto held on to Haru just a little bit longer, nobody said anything about it.

“He’s going to be fine Makoto.” Nagisa took him by hand and squeezed. He nodded but still went on looking at the door that just closed behind Haru. Sighing he turned to the other two. “We still have some hours, any wishes ladies?”

“Yes, shopping.” Nagisa said and they were off before Makoto could get a word in.

~~

“That is a lot of people.”

Nanase-san was looking around, as they were back in their seats, waiting for the evening session to start and Nagisa nodded. “It is like this every year. Swimming is a popular sport. It’s a bit daunting though.”

Makoto could only agree with that.

He had thought that it had been relatively full that morning but only now, with it slowly filling up, did he see what it truly meant. People were slowly trickling in and he felt anxiousness return again. They’d spend a lovely few hours, not counting the few men’s shops the two had dragged him to and then forced him to try out some shirts. He didn’t even want to think about the bag he had with him that now contained two new ones. It was simply impossible for him to say no to Haru’s mother. She’d looked at him with those eyes that reminded him of Haru and he had been done for.

“Makoto, is the order the same as this morning?”

“Yes, though first the B finals. Here.” He handed his phone to her so that she could scroll through the roster and anticipated times while he looked around some more. The two reporters from earlier had arrived too and were discussing something, the judges were lining up and he realized it was going to start soon.

Makoto had no doubt Haru would do great, not only that night but during the whole championship so for a brief moment he wondered how much their lives would change. He smiled to himself then, shaking his head slightly. _It doesn’t matter in the end, does it? We’ll still be us, changing with the tide too. I think this is a good thing to remember. And I can’t wait to see what the future holds._

The start of the first final night was announced and they cheered their way through the B finals, clapping for everyone, appreciating their hard work and dedication. Makoto sympathised with them, being so close to the final goal and yet so far away, and on the big national stage too so he made sure to clap as hard as he could and cheer for them all once the races were done. They didn’t have to wait long after that and the Finals started.

“I hope it goes well for Rin. He was quite nervous, even during the lunch.” Makoto looked at her and nodded. Haru’s mother was a perceptive woman because Rin had been nervous, Makoto had noticed himself. He had joked around, goofing off, as they had walked back but it was an obvious cover for his nerves.

“I think Rin has put a lot of pressure on himself. It’s difficult.” He sighed, not knowing what else to say but she just nodded. Of course, she was aware of his family situation and could probably easily deduce it all. “Breaking the ice will help though, as long as he does well enough.”

“His coach is aware of it, so he should help. Haru seems to be as well.” Makoto rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. “We can only hope it turns out fine.” He truly hoped that it would. Rin had been talking about this forever and though he swam for himself these days, he had never forgotten about his father. Makoto had talked about it with Haru one day and they had both expressed their worry over it. This first race would be so important, even if there would be plenty of other chances and there were years to the Olympics.

Rin’s final was finally called and he waved when he was introduced. Makoto could see the tension and just crossed his fingers. He could hear Nagisa murmuring something to his right but the crowd cheering was making it difficult for him to make it out. He could guess it was probably something about sharks and fish and grinned.

It didn’t take long and they were up on the start block, before the race started. Makoto could swear he managed to blink once between the water in the pool exploding in the mass of waves and bubbles when they dived and the final slap of hands against the wall, almost in unison. He whipped his head towards the scoreboard and then cheered.

“Second! He’s second!” The women jumped up and cheered and Makoto joined them, yelling out Rin’s name. He clapped when he could see him out of the pool and waved like mad, even though he was uncertain if Rin even knew where they were seated. He could see him squeezing his eyes, obviously beyond emotional but he was also smiling that recognizable grin of his. He waved at the crowd before leaving the pool side.

“This is good, this is great!” He hugged with the others and nodded. “Yes Nanase-san, this is great. The 50m is usually incredibly close plus butterfly is quite competitive. I’m so happy for him.” He took a deep breath. “But we’re also a bit closer to Haru’s final.”

Makoto thought the following minutes had been some of the longest of his life. He clapped for the next set of swimmers but he didn’t remember a single thing about it. Time dragged on and that every time he checked his watch, it seemed to go even slower. The ceremony for Rin’s discipline went by, Makoto standing up and clapping for his childhood friend, happy to see him at the podium, clutching his medal. The trio waved at the crowd and then they were escorted out, probably to do interviews, and he looked anxiously at the scoreboard, now flashing the names of the 100m free finalists.

Rubbing his face with his hands, he told himself to try and relax because this was just the start of Haru’s career and he need to get used to this.

He wasn’t entirely sure he could.

A weight leaned into him and he patted Nanase-san’s hand. “I am so glad we’re both here Makoto, I know it matters to him.” He smiled at her, feeling deeply touched and nodded. “It does.”

At that moment the swimmers showed up and their names were announced, to the crowd’s cheering. Haru was in lane four, having had the fastest time and Makoto easily located him. His gaze was aimed towards the water, only giving a short bow when his name was called. He seemed calm and Makoto had to smile. He could imagine that Haru was probably itching to go and ignoring the rest of it completely. After all, the water was calling.

Up on the start block and complete silence of the massive crowd, before the buzzer sounded and they all dived. His eyes were glued to Haru’s body, soaring through the air and then diving. He could see the water boil and people cheering on the sides but it was like he was underwater, with Haru, the sounds were all muted. By the time they turned, Haru was clearly speeding up and starting to get ahead of the group. He held his breath and wasn’t even conscious that he had moved to the edge of his seat.

A few seconds later Haru slapped the wall and Makoto could hear a giant roar of the crowd in his head. He looked up and couldn’t believe his eyes. He’d missed the Japanese national record by the tiniest of fractions. But he’d won.

Haru’s mother was on her feet already, together with Nagisa but Makoto just sat there, staring at that time and the number one next to Haru’s name.

Just how many times had he thought how talented Haru was, how exceptional in his swimming. How many times had they all talked about it? How close did he come, that last summer, to not taking this road?

He stood then and cheered with the rest of them, knowing his eyes were shining with tears but he honestly didn’t care if anyone saw him. Haru was where he was meant to be, and Makoto couldn’t be happier or more proud of him.

Makoto watched Haru bob in the water, looking at the scoreboard and wondered if it was even fully registering with him what he had achieved. He took off his cap then and hoisted himself out of the water, his muscles flexing, the water dripping down his powerful body. Makoto acknowledged he was hopelessly biased but standing there by the edge of the pool, head tilted down, his black hair covering his face, he looked like some ancient marine creature come out to shore.

The moment broke when Haru turned around, looking straight at them and Makoto’s throat suddenly closed. He had no idea if Haru could actually see him or not but he waved and waved, cheering his head off. Haru sketched a little wave in their direction, before bowing to the crowd, and Makoto told himself the wave was meant just for them.

Haru walked off then, being slapped by the other swimmers and congratulated, before a blur almost jumped at him, giving him a huge hug. Makoto laughed because really, Rin was truly something. He was sure he’d get yelled at for this but he was also sure Rin simply didn’t care. Makoto himself was then caught in a fierce hug and he hugged back, patting Haru’s mother as gently as he could. She was obviously overwhelmed, with tears down her face so he quickly found a packet of handkerchiefs and offered one to her. She gratefully accepted, wiping her eyes and he then finally sat down, completely overwhelmed by what had just happened.

“I can’t believe he missed it by this much.”

He could hear the journalists excitedly talking next to him, so turned to look and had to smile at their wild gesticulating at the scoreboard before being drawn back by Nagisa who had gotten up and hugged him. He had completely forgotten that she was there in the whole commotion.

“I am so happy Makoto, I can’t believe it. No, wait, I can, it’s Nanase.” She bounced on her toes. “I can’t wait for tomorrow.” Clapping her hands she pranced back to her seat and he laughed. He couldn’t either.

The women’s breaststroke went by quickly, Makoto clapped but had no idea who won because the ceremony for Haru’s race was coming right up after it. The three men walked out and he clapped for both the third and second place winners.

“First place winner, Nanase Haruka!”

The crowd cheered at the announcement and they were all back on their feet. Haru was calm, sketching another wave for the crowd before being congratulated by the official and accepting his medal and the flowers. He paused for a second, Makoto realizing this must be completely overwhelming him, but then Haru bowed deeply to the crowd that clapped even louder. The podium photos were taken, Haru still serious, except for a small smile on his face emerging at last and then they waved a few more times before being showed out, to talk to the press.

“I hope that one goes well.”

“I hope he manages to speak more than two words.” He almost laughed at her serious face but she just shrugged at him. “I know my son well Makoto.”

“We did talk about it.”

“He does listen to you, so I hope it’s not a disaster.”

Nagisa leaned in, having listened to their conversation. “The crowd loves him though, didn’t you notice? There is just something about Haru.” Makoto blinked and hoped that she was right. He had been too emotional at the time to pay much attention to anything else but he trusted her observations and smiled. Glancing at the pool, he pointed. “Here we go Nagisa.”

She squealed at seeing her brother and clenched her fists. Makoto clapped, joined by Haru’s mom and they managed to get her through the announcements. The race itself was over quickly, Hamasaki taking the title and then it was Nagisa’s crying form Makoto hugged and gave handkerchiefs to. The ceremony for his discipline would be held tomorrow, so as soon as they could, they got out, breathing the fresh evening air. Haru and Hamasaki would be given a ride back by the team, so they said their goodbyes at the gates. Makoto offered to help Nagisa home but she just waved him off and practically skipped away.

He laughed and then would not hear a no from Haru’s mother. They didn’t rush, though Makoto was eager to be home. He was sure it would take a bit of time for Haru to go through all the formalities something like this entailed, never mind the press, so he rode with her in the taxi to her hotel. They hugged good bye, both of them emotional, and agreed to meet tomorrow again at the same time and place, before Makoto was off, riding the train home, to wait for Haru.

~~

“I’m home!”

Makoto smiled and stirred the soup once again before lowering the heat. “Welcome back! I’m in the kitchen!” He stirred again, figuring it’d hold like that for long enough for him to welcome Haru home properly, when a pair of arms embraced his waist. He craned his neck and met a pair of blue eyes.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” He turned slowly, the arms loosening their hold and then kissed Haru. He didn’t feel like he could wait any longer, he had wanted to ever since the end of that race and as more time passed, the more his desire grew. Their tongues met and he hummed, the deep sense of satisfaction coursing through his body. Haru’s arms clenched around his waist and Makoto brought his arm up, threading his fingers through Haru’s hair, holding his head steady while he had his fill.

He was slowly descending into a haze of pleasure, encouraged by Haru’s little moans when he heard a distinct sound of boiling. He tore his mouth away, eliciting a mew of protest from Haru, quickly turning towards the stove.

“Our soup!” He barely managed to rescue it before it boiled over and sighed with relief.

“You made soup? I did bring dinner.”

“I know, I remember you said you would but thought I’d make a little something anyway.” That got him a smile and another squeeze out of Haru. “Let me take a shower first, I have to. I’ll be quick though! Here, you can warm some of this up too if it needs to be.” He handed him the bag with the take-out he had gotten, then hurried towards the bathroom, picking up his bag on the way.

Makoto busied himself by laying out the dishes and the food. He was just placing a napkin next to Haru’s place when he realized he’d forgotten to actually congratulate him. Groaning, he rolled his eyes. _Just how did I manage to do that? Well, that kiss was incredible._ He eyed the door to the bedroom but decided that it would be better off to simply wait for Haru to finish. As it was, he’d probably just end up being pulled into the shower and well, that was not how that night could go. _Unfortunately for us. But we can wait till Sunday and hopefully have an even bigger celebration._ Makoto grinned then shook his head and headed for the kitchen to get the last of the food. Those thoughts were not doing him any favours.

By the time he was done, Haru emerged too, towelling off his hair and sighing.

“I needed that. I’m so tired.”

Makoto grinned, then grabbed the ends of the towel, lowering it around Haru’s neck, then pulling him towards himself. That got him a raised eyebrow but he complied anyway and soon he had an armful of Haru. He kissed him again, slowly and gently this time.

“Congratulations.”

“Oh!” Haru blinked at him, his eyes nicely unfocused, then smiled. “I thought my first kiss was that.”

“In a way. But I wanted to say it too.” Makoto felt his lips stretch in a wide grin. “Nanase Haruka. 100m Japanese Champion. That sounds so amazing.”

Haru blinked again and then stepped even closer, embracing him. Makoto’s arms folded around him, the motion automatic and familiar, and he bent his head, kissing Haru’s temple. “Strange?” That got him a head nod and a hum. “It’s bound to take time to process.”

“I don’t feel any different.” He could feel Haru’s arms tighten around him after this and wondered if there was more to this. “I was asked, how it feels, after.”

“Eh? Oh! An interview?” Makoto almost winced but instead just rubbed Haru’s back in support. They had known these would start happening, it was inevitable if Haru started performing as Makoto knew he could.

“Yes.” A sigh before Haru shrugged. “I am not sure it went all that well.”

Makoto moved back, cradling Haru’s head and then kissed him again. “We’ll watch for it then, and see how it went. You won’t be able to tell until we see it. I’ll turn on the TV, I’m sure it’s national news and there’s that sports show too.”

“I’m going to lose my appetite.”

Makoto laughed at the pout and pecked Haru’s lips before swatting his arse lightly. “You won’t. I can almost hear your stomach growling. Come on.” They settled at the table and Makoto found the news channel. Luckily, per Haru’s own words, they were well into their dinner by the time the sports section came up.

The reporter was standing next to the pool, smiling to the camera as he went through the day’s events and Makoto kept an eye out for any mentions of Haru and Rin. Hamasaki’s name came up first, as someone who was second the last time around and had now managed to win the crown.

“Hamasaki Akira hails from team Ryuujin that has also brought us our winner for the 100m free discipline. A newcomer to the national stage, Nanase Haruka has won the event, almost reaching the national record.” They both stared at the TV, which showed the exact moment that had captured Makoto’s imagination, Haru having just gotten out of the pool. “He’s entered into two more events, so we’re looking forward to seeing what else he can bring to the world of swimming!” The reporter went on to mention butterfly and Rin, as another newcomer and then ended with news that a much longer segment would be aired soon, in the show about the Championships.

Makoto smiled and patted Haru’s hand. “Only those who watch the actual show will see the interview then.” He cleared his throat and shrugged. “That image is truly something else Haru. I’m glad they used it.”

“I was just standing by the pool.” Haru looked confused, his hand halting with his piece of rice half way to his mouth and Makoto laughed, shaking his head. “Trust me on this one.” A nod and a shrug followed before Haru went back to his food and Makoto chuckled. It would be pointless to try and explain it to Haru, he didn’t have a clue about how good he actually looked.

They were already cuddled on the couch, Haru sipping his sports drink and Makoto enjoying his tea by the time the show finally came on. There was a lot of talk about the event itself and then they went through the disciplines of the day. Haru snuggled into Makoto’s side when they talked about Hamasaki and Makoto drew him closer, his arm going around Haru’s shoulders.

“I’m really happy for him.”

“So am I, Nagisa was beside herself.” Makoto paused then chose to continue anyway. “I am not sure but you know how their parents weren’t there? Well Nagisa was so sad about it. I don’t know, it just felt strange.” He sighed then rubbed Haru’s arm. “It’s probably nothing and I’m just over-reacting.”

“I doubt that.” Haru glanced back at the TV where Hamasaki was grinning into the camera, happily answering the reporter. “Look at him though.” He sighed again and Makoto laughed. “Hang in there Haru.” He raised his eyebrow when the show went to the butterfly event, unlike the news and they even managed to catch a quick interview Rin gave, grinning at the camera. Makoto wondered if he was imagining that the reporter backed off a step at that point.

“This leads us to the 100m free event and possibly the biggest surprise of the day. The title was taken away by Nanase Haruka, coming from Team Ryuujin and the school of the well-known Mizushima Daisuke, much like Hamasaki Akira, our champion in the today’s breast-stroke event. Nanase-san posted an incredible time today, just a fraction off the Japanese national record.” The race was being shown now and it paused again at that image, while the reporter continued speaking. “Japan has waited for a while now to break into the free discipline. Is this our new hope? We talked to Nanase-san a little bit after the event.”

Haru groaned and Makoto kissed his hair. He didn’t want to say anything because he was somewhat anxious himself. He wanted this to go well for Haru, making a good impression mattered, especially in their case, he silently admitted to himself.

“Nanase-san, congratulations! Fantastic race.”

“Thank you.” Haru was standing next to the reporter, dressed in his Ryuujin official jacket, his face serious, unlike the previous few interviewees. His hair was in his face again, and Makoto’s hand twitched by reflex, wanting to push it away but he couldn’t deny that Haru cut an imposing figure that way, his eyes shining and even more distinctive due to the contrast.

“How does it feel to be a newcomer and win the title?”

Haru had paused at the question, then made a quick bow. “I am honoured.” His face still serious, unchanging but Makoto could see the reporter being taken in.

“You were very close to the National record this time. Do you think you could surpass it in the future? What about the international scene?”

“I shall do my best. I have a lot of work to do with Mizushima-san and my second coach, Yamazaki-san who work tirelessly to help me.” Haru glanced at the reporter then nodded once. “The focus is on improving my swimming, the rest is something that may or may not come with it.”

The reporter smiled but Haru stayed silent so seeing how that was all, he asked his final question.

“Do you swim any other style?”

“I only swim free.” A decisive shake of his head and the reporter then thanked him for the interview, somewhat flustered while Makoto thought Haru reminded him of one of those paintings of warriors of old. He peeked at Haru and almost laughed when he saw his eyes were closed. The show was winding down, the reporter ending with the talk of Haru’s time again, the same image in the background and Makoto squeezed Haru’s arm.

“All done. It went really well I think.”

“It was terrible.” Haru mumbled into Makoto’s shoulder and sighed.

“I know you don’t like doing those but to the audience, I am willing to bet it looked great. You look so dignified Haru.” He laughed at Haru’s incredulous expression. “You were yourself but you also answered his questions. It can’t go better than that. Were there others?”

“For the newspapers, a few of them but it was mostly the same.”

“Then it was fine. Come on, don’t worry about it.” He yawned and this set off Haru too. “I’m completely done in and I can’t even imagine how you feel. Sleep?”

“Yes.”

Makoto went and took a quick shower, feeling grimy from the day. He was changing into his sleep clothes when he heard Haru’s distinct giggle. He shook his head, thinking it had to be either Rin or Nagisa and Rei, he finally finished and joined him in the bedroom. Haru was already tucked beneath the blankets and he crawled in too.

“Rin?”

“Yes. He’s excited about the interviews. He said I should smile more.” Haru shook his head. “I told him he should smile less with those teeth. I think he’s insulted.” Makoto laughed and thought that yes, that reported did so take a step back away from Rin. “Rei and Nagisa said hello, they sent a text too. I promised we’d talk during the weekend.”

“Good. Phone?” Haru handed it over and he put it on the nightstand. They snuggled down, in their customary position.

Makoto yawned again and tucked Haru into his own body, their hands joining.

“Good night Haru, sweet dreams.”

“Good night Makoto.” Haru’s voice was already fading and Makoto smiled. It was a tiring though incredible day and they had three more ahead. Haru would need all the strength and support and he fully intended to be there for him.

_As if anyone could stop me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! First part of Japan Swim. It's easy to find the actual schedule of the event online so I used it for this and the following chapter. I'll talk more about my choices for the race outcomes in that one! The idea of Haru giving interviews cracks me up, I think I pity the journos more. Hope this was fun XD


	20. Chapter 20

#  Chapter 20

 

Makoto yawned.

He was standing outside of the pool, with Haru’s mother, waiting for the afternoon session. The morning had gone by in the best possible way. Haru had been picked up by the team van once again and Makoto had met with his mother as arranged. The heats had gone by slowly until Haru’s discipline had been called. He swam in the last heat again and already at half way point, it was pretty clear that all was going to be well. Makoto had had to hold himself back from giggling at the excited journalists next to him. He had wondered if they had thought that the first day had been a fluke of some kind but by the time Haru’s heat was done and he was once again ranked the fastest swimmer of the day, it had to have been clear to him and everyone else that it had been no accident. Makoto couldn’t have been more excited.

They had gone to lunch again as the previous day, and Sousuke had whispered to him that usually they wouldn’t do this but Haru found it relaxing. Luckily there had been no shopping after but just a quiet stroll with the two women again. Hamasaki had advanced as well and Nagisa was in excellent spirits. They stood lounging now, waiting for Rin to join them, who had a free day on his schedule. He had had his light practice and could watch the finals with them now.

Makoto yawned again, then shook his head. He was sleepy from the weather and the walk, not to mention both the lunch and the ice cream they had.

“Didn’t you boys get enough rest last night?” Nanase-san smiled at him and Makoto coughed.

Nagisa started laughing. “You should see your face Makoto.” He wished for the earth to conveniently open up for him. The older woman started laughing too then waved her hands at him. “I’m so sorry Makoto but you are so cute.”

Makoto thought his face would definitely catch on fire.

“It’s just the cool air and the food. We slept fine, thank you.” He was aware his voice got a bit high there at the end but honestly, how embarrassing could this get.

“Ah, there you are!” Rin chose that moment to arrive and they all greeted each other. He was in good spirits, laughing and grinning and Makoto was sure the few cute girls pointing at him and whispering, quite obviously too, made him smile even wider. Rin loved being in the spot-light. “You all right Makoto, you’re a bit red?”

Makoto sighed. “Not a word!” He said to the two women.

“Now that’s not fair! Never mind, Nagisa will fill me in.”

Makoto groaned but she just laughed and shook her head at Rin. “No can do shark boy. You didn’t eat all the fish yesterday.”

Haru’s mother was laughing again and Makoto had to join her because Rin’s pouting face was just too much. Makoto tugged his hand. “Come on shark boy. Time to go in.” They found their seats pretty quickly, Rin sitting in front of them, and Makoto finally understood why there were two empty seats in front of theirs all day yesterday. Rin explained they were reserved for them, for their days off. He got greeted by the journalists and congratulated again on his medal and he smiled and thanked them too. Makoto kept biting his lip to keep himself from laughing because whenever Rin grinned the men flinched. Shark boy all right. But Rin was charismatic in his own way and it was apparent by the amount of people focusing on them. He was happy for him and hoped tomorrow would bring even better things. They finally all sat down, Rin chattering away at them in the pauses between the B finals.

Hamasaki’s discipline was second of the day so he was up first. Nagisa was even more nervous than the day before.

“It’s just that it is so short, he’s always the most nervous for it. There is no room for mistakes.”

“It is also one we love to swim Nagisa!” Rin laughed and tried cheering her up. “There is nothing like the thrill of it! It is the truth that it can be very chancy as I saw yesterday but he’ll only train harder for next time!”

Makoto knew he was right, and truth be told it was the one discipline he wandered about when it came to Haru too. He’d worked a lot on the best techniques for it but it truly was chancy. Rin was in it too though and that always meant those two would give more. He diverted his attention back to the pool just in time to see them dive after the buzzer. Hamasaki kept up with the leaders without trouble but finally came in second. He seemed quite happy though, waving from the pool and this second medal, with one more discipline to go, could only give him a confidence boost. They stood and cheered for him, Rin hollering too, making Nagisa shake her head but she was beyond happy too for her brother.

“Oh I am so glad!” She happily sat down, once the swimmers finally walked away. “Congratulations!” Nanase-san gave her a quick hug but Nagisa clung to her, sniffling. “I was so worried!”

“Congratulations doc.” Rin grinned, turned towards them. “Now we get to chase your little brother. Haru first, then me. We are not letting him get ahead of us!” They all laughed. Rin was nothing if not competitive but he also helped Nagisa pull herself together. She nodded at him and then they watched and clapped for another medal presentation, and enjoyed the following races, though Makoto kept getting more and more anxious.

“Men, 200m free style finals!”

The announcer finally called Haru’s race, fifth of the day. Relief and anxiety coursed through Makoto’s body; he was happy to finally have it done and over with but at the same time he had to worry. He was coming to accept that he was just a worrier by nature and that Haru’s swimming was going to turn him grey faster than expected.

“Lane 4, Nanase Haruka!”

The crowd exploded, obviously remembering him from yesterday and Makoto got swept up in the collective cheer, even the woman next to him louder than usual. The announcer went through all the competitors, and then they were up on the start block.

Knowing Haru for so many years and how Haru thought about swimming, Makoto always had one thought cross his mind at the moment Haru dived, that of two old friends meeting again. He didn’t know if spending so much time with Haru was influencing him as well and he honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if that was the case but it felt how it felt. He smiled and watched him break the surface then that beautiful stroke.

“Beautiful.”

“He is.” He startled and glanced at the journalist on his left. The man coloured a bit. “He is just something to see in the water.” Makoto smiled at him and nodded. It was simply the truth.

“He always has been, ever since he was a child.”

He turned back to see Haru approaching the start again, half of the race done. He was well in the lead, last year’s winner and prior to race favourite lagging behind him, and the journalist turned to him again and pointed.

“Too fast too soon?”

“No.” Makoto shook his head, smiling but not taking his eyes away from Haru. “This is how he always swims. Watch now.”

The turn and then the last 50m leg and Makoto was cheering openly now, with everyone else. He could see Haru speed up, kicking with that extra just like they had planned for their tactic for this race. Sousuke had insisted though Mizushima-san had been a little bit sceptical at first. That had changed quickly as he had seen how Haru progressed. Watching it finally now, happening in front of his eyes, Makoto was exhilarated and also understood what Sousuke had meant those few months ago. Haru was still at the start, he was going to get even better, stronger. His times still weren’t competitive for medals on the international scene but he was already good. Really good.

Haru’s hand connected to the wall and the crowd roared. Everyone was on their feet, clapping and cheering, even the journalists next to Makoto. He was further away from the Japanese national record than he had been yesterday, but not by much.

“You were right!” The man yelled to be heard over the crowd and Makoto beamed at him. Rin was jumping in front of them like crazy, yelling how he’d get him next time and Makoto laughed, shaking his head. Haru’s mother was being hugged to death by Nagisa but she seemed to be hugging her back equally fiercely. She then switched to Makoto, and he fished out another handkerchief for her. His own eyes were wet but more than anything he was so proud and happy.

The feeling only intensified during the medal ceremony sometime after that. His fists were clenched as he watched Haru stand proud and serene at the highest step of the podium, the gold medal shining around his neck.

~~

Makoto felt a kiss to his temple and murmured sleepily.

“I’m off, sleep.”

He smiled and drifted off quickly. His dreams were filled with images of the beach and Haru laughing.

An hour or so later, he woke up, blinking sleepily. He patted the empty space beside him then remembered that morning. Looking at the clock, he saw it wasn’t that late at all but Haru of course had gone off already, to have his light morning practice and not break the rhythm he had to maintain during the competition. Stretching, Makoto yawned. He was reluctant to leave the warm cocoon but he could catch some studying time. He had taken the day and a half off for the competition but since he was all caught up, it wasn’t a problem. In spite of that, he still wanted to do some work when he could, the idea of the scholarship always at the forefront of his mind.

Sighing, he threw away the covers then padded to the bathroom. The warm water was heavenly and managed to wake him up completely. He picked up the body wash and as he lathered himself up, he thought how everything should hopefully turn out fine. The pressure of finals loomed but right now, he was doing everything he could to ensure that he was as prepared as he could be when they came. He would just have to do his best and hopefully that would be enough. The notion of informing his parents that they didn’t have to pay for his studies was shining so brightly in front of him that it was almost blinding, so he knew he had to keep himself focused.

He didn’t speak of it to Haru much, and Haru never pressed, but knowing that the possibility that his academic future didn’t depend on them was right there, was making him study harder than he ever had. He made sure he was always rested and well, he exercised and spent time with Haru to rest his mind and for simple pleasure of being together and happy, but every other moment was absolutely devoted to his goal. He dreamed of the day he would be completely independent of them too.

He sighed and let the water spray wash down the suds, relaxing.

Here, when he was alone he could speak the words to himself and acknowledge them. He could face the fact that he was so afraid that one day they’d simply completely cut him off and he’d be left floundering, his entire future at stake. It was unlikely for the simple reason that they cared about duty but he still feared it. This scholarship would be one giant step forward into freedom for him and he intended to make sure he would grasp it.

Whenever thoughts like this happened, he made sure to remind himself though that he had support. Even in the case of not getting the scholarship there were other ways to work out the problem if they suddenly stopped paying for his studies. Haru’s mother too had made sure to remind him that he needed to talk to her if anything ever came up. He had blushed and thanked her profusely but she had just waved him away, said that he should not worry and switched the subject. The support was there in many forms and as always when these thoughts consumed him, the stress lessened significantly when he recalled that.

He finished his shower and stepped out, looking around. This would soon be officially “their” bathroom. It already was and it had been, for a while now, if he were to be honest. They had acted as if this was their home for far longer than Makoto had even realized at first but that decision to move in permanently had forced the memories to the front and he had just smiled, snorting at how they had been behaving. They had to move all of Makoto’s things over but that was left for after the competition, as the rent was already paid anyway.

He got dressed, then got to the kitchen to make himself breakfast only to find it ready, the tray covered. A little note was left attached, in Haru’s distinctive writing that said to please eat before diving into books. Laughing and feeling warm to his toes, he did.

~~

“Makoto…” A voice whispered next to his ear.

“Eep!” He squeaked, his book dropping out of his fingers.

A familiar laughter and he closed his eyes, clenching his hand in his shirt.

“Haru.”

“Who else?” A kiss was deposited below his ear but he couldn’t properly enjoy it because his heart was racing a mile a minute.

“Don’t ever do that again. My heart is going to jump out of my chest.”

More laughter and another kiss and Makoto finally turned to face him. “That was just mean.” No sooner did he finish the sentence, his lips were taken in a kiss. He moaned when Haru’s tongue brushed his and grasped his jacket in his fists to bring him even closer.

“Mmm,” Haru murmured right against his lips, “best welcome home.”

“Right after you took away a few years of my life.” Makoto laughed and shook his head. “I can’t believe I didn’t hear you.”

“I actually called your name from the door. You were too engrossed to notice.” Makoto blinked. True, his concentration had improved immensely as the year went by but he didn’t think he’d gotten that far. “Did you get everything done?” Haru asked, smiling.

“Ah, almost. How was practice?”

“Good. It was more to keep me going than anything else. It was just Sousuke and me, Mizushima-san is off with the others at the competition.”

“Is Sousuke still grinning?”

“It’s creepy.” Haru’s serious face just made Makoto laugh at that. “I’ve got lunch though I need to shower and change first.”

“And I can finish this up, perfect.” He picked up his book again, trying to find the right page where he left off while Haru dropped his bags into the kitchen before heading for the bedroom. He had been right at the end of the chapter when he was interrupted so Makoto managed to finish up before Haru emerged. He put away all of his work and powered down the computer, then thought he could at least help by getting the food sorted. It smelled great and he reminded himself to ask Haru where he got these, just in case he needed to do it for them, or even himself. Haru would be travelling this summer, while hopefully he worked on his internship in Tokyo and ordering out already sounded quite tempting.

“Ah good.” Haru soon joined him and they quickly got it all divided and taken to the table, before digging in. “I’m starving.”

Makoto had to swallow then laughed. “Of course you are. It’s not just physical, it’s also the mental stress of a competition that is using up your energy.”

“You mean the press.” Haru’s nose scrunched up and then he sighed. “But I’ll trust you that I’m not doing too badly there.”

Makoto nodded and ate his food thinking that he wasn’t doing badly at all. The reporters all spoke to him with great respect and Makoto thought that Haru’s natural demeanour was actually helping him greatly. He was calm and always serious, thoughtful in his answers, and it was eliciting such a response. He didn’t want to say much to Haru though, not wanting to make him self-conscious so he just kept reassuring him that it was going well.

“Did Mizushima-san say anything?”

Haru shook his head and put his empty bowl down. “He’s smiling like the cat who got the canary but isn’t saying much. I think he’s waiting for Sunday. Most of our swimmers are doing great.”

“He is a great coach and Ryuujin is a good club.”

Haru snorted. “Even Kobayashi’s swimmers are doing well enough.” He smiled then before eyeing the sushi. “It is a great club.”

Makoto just smiled, feeling happy. He was so apprehensive at the start but everything was turning out well. Haru had completely settled in and these days when he did get the time to just go out with Hamasaki, a few of the other swimmers would tag along sometimes too. He would never be too sociable but Makoto was sure he had found his swimming home.

He snapped up a piece of squid and hummed.

“Is mother waiting for us today?” Haru suddenly asked and Makoto shook his head.

“She said she has to rest up for tomorrow. She’s staying till Tuesday though, so you’ll be able to meet up with her after everything is done.”

“I’m glad.” That small sentence spoke volumes. Haru’s father hadn’t called, even though Haru was a double champion of Japan now. It was a huge achievement and the man was silent. His mother offered him no lies, hadn’t said she had talked to him and Haru didn’t ask. He didn’t truly need to, they both knew the answer. Still, she was there for him and that was more than enough.

“Sousuke is though, we texted.”

“Of course he is.” Haru was smirking.

“Don’t tease him. He’s going to be a ball of nerves as it is.”

Haru hummed and ate some more, and Makoto hoped that this meant he wouldn’t. Sousuke was so anxious over Rin. He suddenly remembered he hadn’t asked Haru about the other day.

“Before I forget again, Rin said you helped him out the other day?”

A quick glance his way and then Haru nodded. Makoto wondered if he was reluctant to talk about for Rin’s sake. “It’s all right if it is private, you don’t have to tell me.”

“No, it’s fine.” He sighed and combed his hair with his fingers. “It’s his father, much like we talked before. He may have his own reasons for competing now but this is not going to go away either.” Shrugging, he relaxed in his chair. “We just talked about it for a bit. I think the first race helped though.”

Makoto nodded. “Even your mother noticed he was tense during lunch that day but he was much more relaxed yesterday. I do think it helped.” He leaned over and pecked Haru’s cheek. “I’m glad you could be there for him.”

“It’s nothing.” Haru sipped his drink and Makoto finished his lunch, thinking that it was definitely not nothing. In fact, he was pretty sure it had been crucial for Rin. He didn’t want to prod what was said exactly because it was between them, but he could imagine well enough. They may be rivals but they were friends first now and all they had shared made them quite close. He was certain though that Haru would never make a big deal out of the situation, he did things because they felt right to him and because he wanted to help his friend. It was pretty straightforward to him.

They washed the dishes together, talking about other things and soon they were ready to get going. Makoto watched Haru put on his jacket then handed him his cap.

“It’s not that cold.”

“You’re more recognizable now though.” Haru looked at him blankly and Makoto bopped his nose. “Your face was all over the news and television too, even if it was a specialized show. You’re in the newspapers.” He pointed to the stack on their desk. “That reminds me to get those from today now. Anyway, you’re more known so better to wear that.”

Haru just blinked at him and put his cap on but Makoto could tell it just wasn’t reaching him. He figured that once the autograph requests started, it’d be clearer to him. Not to mention the photo requests. This almost made him giggle. _Poor Haru._ He wondered if he should warn him but decided it was best not to.

The train ride was uneventful, Makoto just making a little detour to pick up the day’s edition of the papers. He had decided to make a little scrap book for Haru of his achievements. That got him thinking though, and he frowned.

“Makoto?” They were strolling towards the pool, from the station and it was a lovely day. Haru raised his eyebrow and Makoto waved his hand to show it’s nothing bad.

“What about your medals?”

“Eh?”

“Your medals. We’ve put them on the shelf but they can’t stay there. We’re going to need a display case.”

“Eh?”

Makoto rolled his eyes and laughed. “It’s not going to end here you know. Might as well plan now.”

“Oh.”

“You like beech wood right?” That teased out a delighted little smile out of Haru and Makoto felt himself glow, but honestly, he never forgot anything Haru told him, no matter how small. “Let’s have one made. I am sure it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“Oh! I like that.” He nodded and smiled at Makoto. “We could put it next to the window too, there’s that entire blank wall in the living room.”

Makoto nodded back, feeling good. He was sure there would be trophies and medals, and they should be displayed proudly for all to see.

“Another shelf too.”

“Eh?” It was his turn to blink because he didn’t see how that connected.

“For all your books.”

Makoto was even more confused because he didn’t think they needed more. “We have plenty of space.”

“Now.”

He opened his mouth to say something then blinked. Haru glanced at him and then tugged him forward.

Makoto wondered if a person could say I love you in more ways than just that one.

“There’s Sousuke.”

He didn’t have time to think about it more but he did have a smile plastered on as they said hello. Sousuke jerked his head towards the entrance. “Let’s go in. Also nice cap.” He grinned at Haru’s blank look then shook his head. “It was not your idea of course.” He sighed and led the way, the two of them following. Makoto patted Haru’s back.

“Did you talk to Rin today?” Sousuke glanced back and Makoto saw Haru nod. “He called me after his heat. He’s better.” Sousuke just nodded and walked on but he was obviously relieved. Not knowing what to say, Makoto kept quiet. It must be rough on the man, he was certain of it. It meant so much to Makoto after all to be with Haru the way he truly wanted. He was also beginning to understand how much his presence meant to Haru, especially as a calming and steady influence, at times like this. It made him truly happy, knowing he could do this for him, something no one else could.

They reached their seats by then and Haru jerked. “Wait, what about Nagisa?”

“She texted me, she is going to cut it close due to some unexpected business so she told me not to wait for her and Hamasaki.” Haru nodded at that and then stopped. “Sit with you?”

Makoto smiled and nodded, he was more than happy about that. That would mean leaving Sousuke alone though, probably with just Hamasaki for company, but he figured it would be fine. The man would probably clam up anyway, the way he usually did when Rin was concerned and nothing would ease that anxiety until Rin’s race was over so though he was just casual friends with Hamasaki it would be enough. The audience was slowly filling up and he was especially glad that they were a little early when Haru got his cap off and he could hear excited murmurs rise near them. He was even gladder their section was mostly journalists and family too. Haru of course noticed nothing of it.

“Ah, Nanase-san!”

Makoto had already sat down so glanced at the man beside him.

“Kitajima-san.”

_Of course you’d remember that name. Must have done an interview._

The reporter glowed, obviously pleased Haru remembered his name and Makoto thanked their lucky stars. “Here to cheer for your team-mates?”

“Yes.” Haru glanced at the pool. “And Matsuoka Rin too.”

“Oh!”

Haru looked at the man, his head tilted and then nodded. “We’re all childhood friends and used to swim together.” His hand encompassed both Makoto and Sousuke.

“How wonderful. Enjoy your evening!” Makoto was glad the man was so polite and let Haru relax too. He did want to simply enjoy his time there, cheering everyone on. He got his phone out and scrolled down the roster.

“His is seventh tonight, plenty of time to go.”

“Backstroke.” Haru peered again at the screen and hummed.

“Ah yes,” he figured Haru would tell him what else caught his attention if it is anything important and just focused on this part. “You’re still looking aren’t you?”

“There’s time I guess.”

“Nanase, Tachibana! Hello Yamazaki!”

The Hamasaki siblings waved to them, Nagisa going straight to Haru, embracing him. Makoto giggled at his awkward pat of her back. “Congratulations! I knew it. I demand the third one too though. No negotiations.” She wagged her finger at them, grinning and Haru smirked. “There’s the spirit.” She hugged Makoto next, and then plopped down next to Haru. “You can join Yamazaki there Akira. Let’s see if he can speak more than two words to you tonight.” Another smirk. “And let’s see if shark boy is finally going to eat all the little fish.”

Hamasaki was laughing and then patted Sousuke’s back. “Pay no attention to her.”

“That is not that easy.” Sousuke was smiling though and Makoto blessed Nagisa’s nature for the millionth time.

The reporter greeted Hamasaki too then, and they chatted a little bit, Hamasaki saying that he was there to cheer their team-mates of course but also Rin too, who he’d met through Haru and Yamazaki, who was now Haru’s assistant coach.

“Ah, how lovely to see athletes supporting each other.” The reporter was looking at them all, obviously intrigued by the connections and Makoto was sure that it wouldn’t take long to dig up the facts. It was interesting after all, he couldn’t deny that.

Hamasaki excused himself then and plopped down next to Sousuke, engaging him in conversation. The B finals were up first as usual and they cheered for them too.

“It must be difficult.” Haru looked at him and he motioned towards the pool. “So close yet so far away. They worked just as hard but it wasn’t enough.”

“It is.” Nagisa leaned in. “We can only cheer for them as hard as for the winners though. They all deserve it.”

The third discipline came quickly. He always got more excited when it was his old discipline. There was that connection, the knowledge of how the race would feel for him. It had ended when Makoto tapped Sousuke on the shoulder.

“Lane 4 was the best out of this group.”

Both Sousuke and Hamasaki turned to face them. “He’s one of ours.”

“Oh? He’s very young though.”

Sousuke was nodding and scrolling through his tablet. “Do you always carry that with you?” Nagisa laughed and Sousuke just gave her a look before going back to it. “I am a coach Nagisa.”

“Even if only Nanase’s here.”

Makoto could practically feel the reporter next to them vibrate. It wasn’t really the man’s fault, they were talking in raised voices in order to hear each other from the noise and well, he was a reporter.

“Are you sure Makoto?” Haru’s voice diverted his attention then and he shrugged. “He’s young but there is something there.”

“No, Tachibana’s right. You have a good eye there. Of course, it is going to take a while for him to develop. I am not sure that's enough for your little plan.”

They turned back to pay attention to the next race and Makoto relaxed, when Haru gave him a light poke.

“He’s right. You do have a good eye.”

Makoto smiled, rubbing the back of his neck and hoped he wasn’t turning red again. He never did handle praise well. The events rolled on, one after the other, finally reaching the actual Finals and the backstroke event. Sousuke sighed and turned, shrugging at them. Haru looked puzzled but Makoto understood.

“The winner. He’s clearly ahead of everyone else. It’s not just the victory. His time, technique, strength, it’s all phenomenal.”

“And he’s in our biggest rival club.” Sousuke finished, sighing yet again, making Hamasaki snort.

“Well, you could say we had it easy until now.”

“I am pretty certain that the chances of anyone surpassing him for the title in the next few years is low. He’s too good and he’s young, he’ll only improve further.” A nod from Sousuke followed those words, as if to underline them. “It’d have been nice to have a unit of friends to enhance the experience but it doesn’t mean you won’t work well with him too.”

Makoto glanced at Haru who was quiet. “Sousuke is right, I’m sure it’s going to be fine. You’ll meet in advance of the Asian Games and if all goes well, that’s plenty of time to get acquainted. You have enough time ahead of you.” He didn’t want to add that of course, they had to keep winning too because they all knew it and yet believing it would happen was propelling them further forward. Sousuke nodded and he and Hamasaki hunched over his tablet, talking in quiet voices, Makoto looking at the water.

Haru got a text then, and smiled, before typing something quickly back and pocketing his phone. He shook his head at Makoto, indicating all was fine and paid attention to the pool again. When the men for the 400m free swam and Haru sat at the edge of his seat, riveted by the race, Makoto finally understood what had caught his attention on the roster, beside the backstroke event. He grabbed Makoto’s arm towards the end, then turned to him. “Yes. I’m going to try that too.”

“We will need that shelf to encompass the entire wall.”

Haru smiled at him and then clapped for the winner.

Makoto hoped that next year, he’d be clapping for Haru.

Some more races and then Rin’s turn finally came. Sousuke’s back was straight and obviously tense, and even Hamasaki’s words couldn’t get him to relax. Nagisa was talking to Haru about something so Makoto just looked at the men walking out and crossed his fingers.

“Lane 4, Matsuoka Rin!”

The audience cheered while Rin waved and then started at the pool. They all focused on him now and Haru leaned forward, whispering something to Sousuke, who inhaled and nodded.

“He’ll win.”

Makoto looked at Haru, wondering if he was cheering them all up but Haru was calm and just gazed over the pool, the statement one of surety, not reassurance. Nagisa laughed softly. There was no other choice but to trust Haru on this one.

The buzzer sounded and the swimmers dived, the water quickly becoming a mass of waves and foam. He watched Rin’s lane intently and could see him slowly edging forward. The 200m race was one that required endurance too so Makoto just kept close attention. When only one leg remained he saw Sousuke almost bouncing in his seat, yelling “Go! Go!” at the swimmer and Haru’s hand found his again. There was no last minute drama though as Rin had a nice enough advantage to the second place, the man who had beaten him in the 50m, and touched the wall first. They were all up on their feet right away, cheering like crazy and if possible, got even louder when Rin pumped his fists towards the sky.

There was hugging and patting on the back and Nagisa required another handkerchief, mumbling about shark boy and fish, and Makoto was happy to provide. He had to provide another when the ceremony for Rin’s race was held and then another, for himself. Watching Rin standing proudly on that top spot, he couldn’t help but be overcome with emotions himself.

The session ended quickly after that, with just one more event, and they soon found themselves in the fresh night air. Hamasaki and Nagisa wished them good night then went home. Haru was staring at the few stars that were visible, quiet and Sousuke sighed.

“Finally.”

“It’s just the beginning.” Haru finally looked at them.

“Sometimes Nanase, I think you are the most optimistic man I know.”

“I certainly hope not.” They snickered, before Sousuke nodded towards the station. “You two off home?”

“Yes, I need my rest. Dinner then bed.”

“Good. See you tomorrow morning then. ‘Night Tachibana, Nanase!” he waved and was off and the two of them walked slowly towards the station, enjoying the moments.

“I’m so happy for him.” Makoto felt Haru’s hand in his and squeezed. “I can still remember, how it was, when we were children when he first proclaimed he wanted Olympics. We were so young! You’re both still far from the ultimate dream but this means so much.”

“It was a text from him.” The non-sequitur surprised him and it took a few moments to remember the text Haru had gotten during the races. He was about to ask when Haru tilted his phone towards him. The words “Are you there?” flashed on the screen and Makoto's throat constricted.

“What did you say?”

“I told him he was an idiot. Where else would we be?”

Makoto laughed lightly and squeezed Haru’s hand again. Where else would they be indeed.

~~

“I can’t believe Rin is swimming in two races today.” Nanase-san was shaking her head and Nagisa hummed. They were waiting to get into the evening session, a tad late because they didn’t anticipate how crowded it would get so early.

“It’s not that unusual at high level events actually.” She shrugged. “There are swimmers who swim two, even three disciplines sometimes, at the highest level. It was smart of Rin’s coach to limit him this time though, he doesn’t have the stamina yet.”

“It’s good for Haru too.” Makoto cut in.

“Oh?”

They finally reached their seats and began settling down. Makoto nodded to the journalist who nodded back and smiled, then sat down.

“The way they push each other is truly something to see. They’re rivals for all time, there is no doubt about it.”

“And yet, they’re such good friends.” She sat down too, looking up at Makoto, who nodded. “They are, they are close friends; we all are.”

“It’s so strange to me to think that you all came from one place.” She waved her hands around and Nagisa cut in excitedly. “Can you imagine how it is for us? When we first heard it all, it was so mind-boggling. And they kept popping up too.” They laughed. “I’m being serious! First we heard about Makoto here and then shark boy came into the conversation and then Sousuke comes in. I swear if another person shows up from your old town, I am going to raise my children there because there is something in the water!”

“What about your two other friends Makoto?”

“Rei seems to be going into medicine, it’s not surprising at all. Nagisa isn’t sure yet. He’s procrastinating and driving Rei insane. Typical state of things.”

“Oh, another doctor. I approve.” Nagisa fist pumped and Nanase-san giggled. “Goodness.”

“I actually think Nagisa, Iwatobi Nagisa, would be good with children, so something like I’ve chosen to do. He has such a sunny predisposition and he is kind. He hasn’t said yet though so I hope he decides soon. Of course, knowing him, he already has and he is just postponing to make Rei fret.”

Makoto rolled his eyes and the women laughed quietly. He actually wouldn’t be surprised at all if that was the case. That was such a Nagisa thing to do.

The B finals flew by this time and Makoto rubbed his hands together. Haru was up in the second discipline of the session and considering the first one was another 50m race, it meant it’d be almost there.

“I am so anxious.”

“It’s going to be all right. He’s worked really hard for this one.” He wasn’t sure if he was encouraging her or himself because he was almost more tense than that first day. It was just that this was one of those disciplines that could go either way. Rin being there should push them both, true, and Haru was already a double champion. He should feel grateful for those already and he did but he also wanted it all for Haru. He was greedy and he knew it but when it came to Haru it was just how he felt.

“Men, 50m free style finals.”

The crowd cheered, as everyone loved this race. It was a pure burst of speed and a display of power and then it was over; an adrenalin shot for both the swimmers and the audience and always a pleaser.

“Lane 3, Matsuoka Rin!” Crowd cheering and clapping, with Rin waving then the announcer moved on. “Lane 4, Nanase Haruka!” More cheering and clapping, Makoto even letting out a whoop then shrugging at Haru’s mother.

“I’m both excited and tense!”

“Is it good they’re next to each other?”

“I think so! It’ll be a great race. Two rivals, together again!”

The other names were called quickly enough and soon they were at the start block. Makoto was on the edge of his seat, Haru’s mother hanging on to his arm. He took a deep breath and thought that he would explode if this dragged on more but the buzzer sounded and they were off.

The water came to life, almost as if in a fight with the swimmers.

“Neck and neck, lanes 3 and 4!” The journalist next to him was yelling but Makoto could see it for himself. Lane 5 was also close enough too, the runner up from the previous free races. The pool seemed both long and short to Makoto all of a sudden. They were at the last marker and he could not differentiate between the three but then he thought suddenly Haru edged out slightly. He jumped to his feet and was followed by the journalist who was yelling.

“The time, the time!”

He couldn’t look away from the pool though and then it was all over. A slap of hands on the wall and suddenly the crowd exploded. He finally managed to tear his eyes away from the water to look at the scoreboard and he had to close his eyes.

“Makoto, Makoto!” He could hear Nagisa’s voice calling out to him but it was far away somehow.

He finally blinked, opening his eyes again but it still said the same thing. Haru’s name, and next to it NR. National record. He’d broken the national record.

Makoto could see Haru’s mother and Nagisa hugging out of the corner of his eye but he was still stuck on that scoreboard. Finally, after what seemed like ages to him, he glanced at the final order and saw that Rin had come in tied for second actually, lane 5 hanging on till the very end.

“They are good friends, eh?” He heard the journalist laugh and then finally looked at the pool.

Rin seemed to be in the process of strangling Haru in the water, his head on Haru’s shoulder, and Makoto could bet he was crying. Haru was trying awkwardly to pat his back with one hand and hold on to the edge of the pool with the other, keeping them both afloat.

“They are great friends.” He smiled at the man and nodded, then finally started clapping himself. “Go Haru! Go Rin!” Everyone in the crowd was standing by then and cheering them on. Nagisa jumped into his arms then and laughed. “They did it! Shark boy is not so bad after all ah? The dolphin is all right too I guess.”

“The dolphin?” The man blinked at her and Makoto guessed his curiosity totally over-rode his manners by then.

“Nanase of course! Just look at him!” Her fist was raised and Makoto was bemused about it but the man actually nodded at her.

“You may be right.”

“Nagisa?”

She was shaking her head, grinning at him and then pointed to Haru’s mother unobtrusively. “We need another handkerchief.” Makoto quickly fumbled with his pockets and soon produced the whole packet, handing it to her. He drew her into a one armed hug and they all watched as Rin and Haru finally got out of the pool, the crowd still on their feet. They waved, then were escorted out, with the others.

“I can’t believe this is happening.”

He heard Nanase-san whisper almost next to him. “He’s worked really hard.”

“I know but Makoto. This is beyond anything I ever imagined. Triple champion of the whole of Japan. A national record. We all realized Haru was talented but…” She was obviously at a loss for words and Makoto struggled himself what to tell her exactly.

He had always known Haru was special, much like Rin had known though he had recognized it as he, Rin, was immensely talented and like called to like in those two, drawing them towards each other, making them go further, faster. For Makoto, it was more like finding a rough diamond, all the way back when he was a child. He hadn’t known what it was then but when he lifted it up and the sun rays fell on it, the explosion of colours had captivated him forever. The diamond only got more and more beautiful as the time passed and though everyone could see it now for what it was, he was the one who still held it.

He could admit to himself it was one of the reasons why he was relaxed, even with so many laying their eyes on Haru.

Haru was his.

_Yes, I am greedy. But he is all mine. And I am so proud of him!_

He was immensely grateful that no one, not even Haru would ever hear his embarrassing thoughts but he could at least admit them to himself.

“Makoto!”

“Oh, sorry.” He shook his head and looked at Nagisa, who rolled her eyes at him. Haru’s mother had a bemused look on her face and he had no idea what happened until Nagisa gestured towards the water and only then did he notice that the ceremony for Haru’s race was about to start. He blushed fiercely.

“You daydreamed through the whole race. Pay attention to your man now!”

He flushed even harder then and hissed. “Nagisa!” She of course didn’t care one whit about any of it and was already steadily ignoring him and Haru’s mother was cackling. Sighing, he turned his eyes resolutely towards the podium and soon enough, the three winners walked out. Audience once again cheered for them. Rin waved and bowed, as the second place winner he was equally excited.

“First place, winner, with the Japanese National Record, Nanase Haruka!”

The crowd went wild, going to their feet again and Makoto joined them. He had to wipe his eyes then, because they’d gotten suspiciously wet but he was simply overwhelmed by all of this. Haru though seemed completely serene, his stoic expression still holding, bowing to the crowd once before accepting his medal and the flowers. He pointed his phone at the podium, wanting to have a few photos for himself of this. The others had the same idea too and flashes were going off in the crowd so much, Makoto thought he went blind there for a second but soon it was over and he sat back down. Haru’s first championship was over and done with and it couldn’t have gone better.

“How many more before Rin has to swim again?” Nanase-san leaned in, her eyes still shiny and Makoto gratefully picked up the change of topic. “Two more then his final. Then another, followed by Nagisa’s brother.”

“This evening is so exciting. This may be too much on my poor nerves!” She smiled but Makoto could see she was actually glowing.

“It truly is exciting. I think next time we need to bring drinks to freshen up or something. I might steal one of Haru’s!”

She laughed and they chatted lightly between races. Makoto spotted the same kid in the finals of the 200m backstroke and made a mental note to talk to Sousuke again about him. He was good, even if young. It was Rin’s turn right after that, and when he saw him walk out, Makoto knew it was going to be fine. He was obviously in excellent spirits and the crowd was cheering like crazy, remembering him clearly from the exciting race a while ago. Soon they were off and Rin wasted no time. Makoto worried for a second that he may have gone out too fast but then realized this was exactly who Rin was. He fed on the excitement, the crowd and a minute later, he touched the wall first.

Everyone was smiling by then, his joy more than obvious and he was escorted out by cheers and clapping.

“Shark boy ate all the fish!” Nagisa was laughing and Makoto had to join in. “He did, didn’t he?”

She was much more quiet soon though, because her brother’s discipline was coming up soon, but she did manage to muster up excitement over Rin’s medal ceremony first. Makoto was sure he actually waved at them so he cheered extra hard, waving at the podium himself, remembering to take a picture too. Then it was Hamasaki’s turn but it was his favourite discipline and he had the tactics worked out perfectly with the coaches. He came in first as well, to the yells of Nagisa and everyone else’s clapping.

They waited a while for his victory ceremony and then it was all officially over. They hugged in joy once again, and then found themselves outside, breathing the fresh night air, first time in four days completely at ease.

~~

“Makoto, I’m off now. Thank you so much for everything. I’ll be back to Tokyo soon actually, in about a month or so, there’s a congress I need to attend so we’ll all have dinner together and properly celebrate, if that’s all right.”

“Oh, of course! Thank you so much for coming. It meant a lot to Haru.” Makoto wasn’t sure if he was over-stepping but at that moment he didn’t even care if he was. It was simply the truth. “I think he wanted to meet with you tomorrow.”

“We texted. He has a day off, so we’ll grab lunch.” She hugged him, then whispered in his ear. “Take care of my boy, all right?”

He nodded, hugging her back, unable to say anything because the night was already emotional as it was and this was pushing him over. She patted his cheek, smiled and then was off with another little wave.

“She’s a great woman.” Nagisa leaned into him. “And I am so tired.”

“Same. And we didn’t do a thing but cheer.”

“Worrying is exhausting but I don’t think I could be happier right now!” She bounced on her toes and he laughed. He was about to tease her about being a ball of energy when his phone rang. “Hello?”

“Ah, Tachibana. Have you left already?”

“Sousuke. No, I’m still outside, with Nagisa.”

“Good. Will you wait? He wants to go home with you.”

“But the van…”

“You know how he is. Is that all right?” Sousuke sighed and Makoto could just imagine his resigned face.

“Yes, yes of course! I’m right outside the door and a bit to the left.” The call disconnected and Nagisa blinked at him. “Something wrong?”

“Ah, no. Haru wants me to wait, he wants to go home together.”

“Aww.” She cooed and he blushed again. She was terrible. Wonderful, but terrible.

She kept teasing him and kept him company for almost an hour. The crowd in front of the pool thinned out and there were just a few groups of stragglers present. A group of girls was giggling, looking at their phones and Makoto had flashes of Gou and her muscles obsession. He was pretty sure he was not far off.

“Nagisa!”

“Akira!” She jumped into his arms and hugged him, while Makoto smiled and looked on. “Congratulations little brother! I am so proud!” She was almost hanging off of him now, and Makoto looked for more handkerchiefs. He handed her a couple and she dubbed at her eyes, while he congratulated Hamasaki who beamed at him. “Thank you Tachibana! I can’t believe it!” He shook his head and shrugged.

“You’ve worked hard, it’s only natural!”

“Wait, why are you here?” Nagisa cut in, and Hamasaki laughed. “Blame Nanase. He stared down Yamazaki, saying he was not going home with the others and then I figured you were probably keeping Tachibana here company. Now we can go have dinner together and celebrate! Oh he’ll be out as soon as he escapes the clutches of the journalists Tachibana but it is winding down I think.” Nagisa was nodding quickly, and Makoto frowned at the thought of dinner. He thought it would probably be best to simply pick something up again for tonight. That got him thinking about a group celebration.

“How about we do something together, Friday or maybe Saturday? Get Sousuke and Rin too, a little dinner, some drinks? Celebrate your successes together?”

“Oh that’s great!” Hamasaki exclaimed.

“What’s great?” Haru’s soft voice suddenly cut in and Nagisa almost jumped.

“Do you make any noise at all?” Then she hugged him, making Haru’s eyes widen in surprise. “Congratulations. You were brilliant.”

“Thank you.” He patted her back awkwardly once then smiled at Makoto. “You waited.”

“Of course.” Makoto wanted to save the congratulations for when they were alone and just smiled down at Haru, who leaned into his side, sighing. “All right?”

“I want to go home.”

Makoto rubbed his back but before he could say anything there was a screech and they were both suddenly tackled. Blinking, he saw it was Rin and honestly, who else could it be. He hugged him with one arm, keeping the other around Haru. “Congratulations Rin. I was so proud!”

“Really?” He could see Rin’s lip wobble and he was already teary eyed, so he just nodded and hugged him harder. After all he wouldn’t be Rin if there were no tears and Makoto had to admit he was close to the edge himself. It was that kind of a night. “Don’t be an idiot.” Haru mumbled and smacked the back of Rin’s head lightly.

Makoto patted him again and Rin moved away. He rubbed his eyes and Makoto just gave him the whole handkerchief packet. It wasn’t like there were many left by then. He did make a mental note to carry even more next time these three swam together because he seemed to be the designated handkerchief man.

“They are so cute!” He could hear the squeal easily and he quickly glanced to the side. The girls who were focused on their phones were now more than obviously gawking at the swimmers. Haru and Rin were good-naturedly bickering now and Rin was grinning, while Nagisa egged them on and Hamasaki tried stopping her.

“Hey.”

“Ah, Sousuke. You too?”

“Eh.” He shrugged and watched Rin who got Haru in a headlock. Makoto rolled his eyes and grabbed the back of his jacket, pulling him off. “Here, this is yours.” He pushed Rin towards Sousuke, rolling his eyes again.

“Oi!” Rin looked affronted though he was smiling and Sousuke for once smiled too and then pulled him towards himself, his arm across Rin’s shoulders. “Thank you Tachibana.”

Nagisa cackled and Hamasaki sighed. “We’re off! I’m starving. Later guys, congratulations again, see you on Tuesday!” They waved and walked away, happily laughing.

“I talked to them earlier, we are going to have dinner towards the end of the week to celebrate. You two are invited. That’s what Hamasaki was agreeing to by the way.” He told Haru and got a nod. Haru’s hand sneaked into his and he smiled down at him.

“That’s great, we’ll arrange it later then. I need food now. Come on Sousuke, let’s grab dinner.” Rin was already tugging at Sousuke’s arm. “I’m going to get you next time Haru, just wait!” He laughed and then they were off in one direction, while Makoto and Haru started walking towards their own station.

“They’re holding hands!” This was accompanied by squeals and whispering. “So cute!” Makoto almost missed a step when the voices reached him and he realized the girls spotted them. Haru just looked at him and then mouthed “We’re cute!” at him, before he actually giggled. Makoto shook his head and tugged him towards the station.

“Let’s go home.”

~~

“Finally!”

“You should have gone with the rest of the team Haru, you’re tired as it is!” Makoto frowned but Haru just finished taking off his shoes and jacket before getting into the living room and dropping his bag.

“Wanted to go with you.”

Makoto walked to him then, finally hugging him as he had wanted to since he saw him outside of the pool. “Congratulations Haru. I am so happy, so proud!” He whispered before kissing his temple. “So happy!” He felt Haru latch on to him and they just stood there, holding each other.

He pulled back a little and pushed back Haru’s hair off his face. Haru blinked at him and smiled that small smile of his that Makoto always wanted to kiss, so he did. He could now. They kissed slow and long, Makoto’s hands ending up in Haru’s hair, cradling his head while he explored his mouth. Haru hummed and broke their kiss after a while.

“I’m hungry.”

Laughing softly, Makoto stepped away and turned to get the bags they’ve just dropped that had their food, but Haru’s hand fisted in his shirt, pulling him back. “What..?”

“I didn’t say I was hungry for food.” His lips latched onto Makoto’s again and then he was being kissed thoroughly, his mouth feeling claimed. They’d have probably gone on but Haru’s stomach chose to growl, loudly and Makoto burst out laughing.

“Your stomach disagrees.” Haru pouted and Makoto kissed him lightly again, before picking up the bags and giving on to Haru. “Come on, let’s feed that beast first.”

“Couch.”

“Oh that’s a good idea.” Makoto got the trays but Haru put one back. He blinked then laughed. “You are so spoiled Haru.”

“Yes.” A side glance, then he tilted his head up and Makoto could just kiss him again. “Well you are the hero of the day, so I’ll let it pass this once.” That got him an incredulous look and Makoto blushed. They both knew he was a total push over when it came to Haru and these little nothings. Or maybe, not quite nothings. He stole another kiss then put the tray to the side, while he grabbed the remote and gave it to Haru, who groaned.

“The news are over but we can still catch the show about the championship.” He settled down first, Haru putting the tray next to him, then simply sat sideways and curled into his lap, his head resting on Makoto’s shoulder. He let out a sigh of contentment and Makoto encircled his waist with his arm, cradling Haru to himself.

Haru flipped the channels until he found the right one, then Makoto handed him a bowl of food and alternatively fed them both.

“Oh!” He swallowed and waved his chopsticks towards the screen. “Kitajima-san! Remember, he sat right next to us the whole time!”

Haru just nodded and opened his mouth for another bite, so Makoto complied before turning his attention to the show again.

“Now that we’ve come to the end of these Nationals, let’s look back at the three names in the men’s events that have stood out. Hamasaki Akira, two golds and a silver medal in breaststroke. He was runner up in all three disciplines last year and has come up this time, carrying away two titles. Hamasaki-san is joined by two newcomers to these championships.” The image on screen shifted from Hamasaki to show Rin, grinning and proudly displaying his gold medal from that night. “Matsuoka Rin, who also picked up two gold medals, along with two silvers. He was impressive in the butterfly but as we are told both by his coach and by him, he is working hard and we shall see more of him in the free style too in the future to come. Which brings us to our triple champion and the national record holder from this evening’s event, Nanase Haruka.” The screen changed again to show that photo from the very first night that was obviously quickly becoming a favourite when it came to showing Haru, which made him groan and hide his head in the crook of Makoto’s neck. “He announced his entrance into the sport by almost breaking the 100m record and taking the gold, staking his claim to the title of the best newcomer in the competition. He had followed up by an impressive win in the 200m and finally, by breaking the national record tonight, in the 50m.” Short clips of the races were run, the man speaking over the images.

“Let us hope that he and all the other athletes are messengers of another successful era for Japanese swimming, as the Rio Olympic Games approach.” They stopped with the image of Rin and Haru hugging in the pool. “As these athletes train and support each other in the true spirit of sports and the Olympics, let us wish them the best of luck in achieving their dreams.”

Makoto rubbed Haru’s back and looked down. “That was a great way to wrap up. I liked it.”

Haru nodded, then nudged him. “Enough about that. Food.”

Laughing Makoto fed him another bite then shook his head. “It’s just starting Haru. You’ll be off to international meets soon and there will be more news and it won’t stop here. You’re now a triple champion of Japan. It’s an incredible achievement.”

“I just wanted to win. I want to swim my perfect race.”

“Perfect race?”

Haru shrugged. “Hard to explain.”

“It’s a Haru thing?”

A shy nod and Makoto had to give him a kiss. “Then I hope that it happens one day.” They finished the food slowly, Makoto teasing Haru how he’ll buy all the newspapers tomorrow and in the days to come, making Haru complain of indigestion. They cleaned up quickly, Haru calling dibs on the shower, while Makoto made sure the DVR had caught the races properly. He rubbed his chin, then decided that he’d back it up on the DVDs tomorrow. He wanted recordings of all of Haru’s races and though he could get them from Haru’s team if he asked, he wanted these too.

He heard the shower stop, and then went and packed his bag for University tomorrow. He was back to his regular classes and it was time to work hard. Checking everything was done, he turned off the lights and got to the bedroom just in time to see Haru walk out of the bathroom, rubbing his eyes.

“Tired?”

“Suddenly.” Makoto grinned and cupped Haru’s cheek, tilting his head up for a kiss. “Not really, think of all that happened. Go on, get to bed. Don’t wait up if you’re sleepy.” A murmured protest but Makoto just shooed him away before hopping into the shower himself. The warm water was relaxing and he was yawning himself by the time he was getting into bed.

Haru was already curled up on his side and he smiled, turning off the light. Makoto slid his hand around Haru’s waist, about to tuck them both in when Haru suddenly turned, tangling their legs together, his hands fisting in Makoto’s shirt.

“I thought you’d fallen asleep.”

“Almost.” He tilted his head up, obviously looking for a kiss and Makoto obliged, his hand going up Haru’s back, ending up in Haru’s hair. “I didn’t want to before you came back.” One of Haru’s hands moved to Makoto’s back, pressing them even further together. Makoto wasn’t sure if there was any way they could be closer in this position but he gloried in the feeling of closeness and intimacy. Their breaths mingled and he smiled. Haru blinked sleepily at him and he couldn’t resist, but rub their noses together. That elicited a wrinkled nose and a giggle from Haru and then another kiss.

Makoto couldn’t remember when they fell asleep. They exchanged slow kisses and breaths, their heads on the pillow, bodies close and slowly drifted off.

He’d woken up a few times during the night and was greeting by Haru’s sleeping, relaxed face and the small smile still present on his lips. He’d smile back and go back to sleep too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I mentioned in the last chapter, I'll explain why I made the choices I did when it comes to Haru's victories.
> 
> The 100m men free race at the European 2014 championship was won by the French swimmer Florent Manaudou, with the time of 47.98s. Compared to that, at the Japanese Nationals in the same year (where Haru is swimming in my AU), the victory time for the same race was 48.69s, and the Japanese NR is 48.49s. So the fastest time ever swum by a Japanese swimmer is far slower than the Euro champion of that year. World record is 46.91s, just to put it even more in perspective. Haru has a long way to go! There were no Japanese men free swimmers on the podium in Kazan this year. In fact, there were no Japanese men swimmers in the finals of the 50m, 100m and 200m free races at all, while only the 50m semi-finals had Japanese representatives (400m and 1500m had none either). The 100m race is the one where the difference is the greatest but if I am to make this somewhat believable by the time it ends, this seemed like the only option. It is fanfiction but I'm picky :p 
> 
> Sorry for the long notes! Hope you had fun with this one too and some celebrations to follow XD


	21. Chapter 21

Makoto was shuffling his pens, getting ready to take notes for his first class of the day. He’d had to force himself out of bed that morning, he had been that reluctant to leave Haru and their home but he was aware that he had to. He had his own dream and his own goals and the only way to achieve those was too keep working, achieving small victories at a time.

He truly thought that getting out of that bed was a victory on its own that morning.

“Tachibana!” A screech that got everyone looking towards him and he jerked his head up, only to see Matsushita and of course, Himura, head straight for him. “Triple gold! Triple gold Tachibana! I can’t believe it!”

He was sure he was red in the face and tried waving them down. “Not so loud!”

“Who cares about that! Triple national champion!”

“Who is?” The guy in front of him turned around. They knew each other in passing but Makoto couldn’t really blame him about being curious. Everyone was staring at them and his friends really were loud.

“Oh, Yukimura, didn’t see you there, morning!” Makoto wasn’t surprised one bit that Himura knew him, he probably knew half of their year, being so social. If not more. “Nanase Haruka.”

“The swimmer?” Yukimura turned to them now, his face excited. “I watched it on TV, that was great. You know each other Tachibana?”

“He knows him all right.” Makoto snapped his head towards Himura, his eyes widening. “He knows the other one too, Matsuoka was it? They all used to swim together.”

“Ah, yes. That’s right.” Feeling relieved because Himura showed some discretion, he nodded. He wanted to keep his private life to himself as long as possible, it was just how he was. “We all swam in the same club when we were kids.”

“That’s great! Is he aiming for the Olympics?” Another girl cut in and Makoto suddenly understood a bit of how it must feel for Haru. “Yes, they both are, it’s the highest dream for an athlete after all.”

“Nanase is in Ryuujin, but what about Matsuoka?”

“Yes, Hamasaki Akira too, they’re both in Ryuujin but Rin was in Australia until recently. He’s training here now, I don’t know if he’ll be joining a particular club though.” He shrugged because he really didn’t know.

“Man, Ryuujin is such a great club! My cousin tried getting a coaching position there but didn’t make the cut.” Another guy added and they all chatted about it. Makoto hoped that the class would start soon.

“Congratulate him for us, will you Tachibana?” Matsushita said. “I couldn’t make the actual event but we’ll have to go out again together and celebrate one day if he can find the time.”

The girl whined at him. “You know him too, Matsushita? That’s so unfair. Nanase’s so gorgeous! Didn’t you see him during those interviews? So dashing!” She was obviously a million miles away, going by her dazed look and Makoto was torn between bemusement and a twinge of possessiveness.

“Yes, we know him, we went out a few times,” Matsushita laughed, “but he’s also taken. Quit your daydreaming.”

“I can still daydream!” She objected, though she was laughing. “Of course he’s taken, the best ones always are.” The other girls who were listening in on the conversation sighed and nodded.

“Oi!” Himura was now protesting but she just ignored him. “So Tachibana, need a date for the next swimming meet?” She grinned at him and though of course she wasn’t really being serious, he blushed.

“I’m also in a relationship.”

“See?” She threw her hands in the air. “As I said, the best ones are always taken.” They laughed and Matsushita and Himura excused themselves, as the professor was already standing by the door, answering some last minute questions of another student.

They settled down and Makoto got his notebook out. He felt somewhat weird after that but then decided to simply focus on the class and put the rest away. It was a two hour block and he needed to concentrate though he did make a note to text Haru after it was over. He had lunch with his mother and over-sleeping would be poor form.

~~

Haru stretched across the bed and sighed. It was big, with plenty of space to just sprawl out, which he admittedly rather enjoyed but Makoto was not in it and that made him grumpy. He was usually a morning person but the previous days had completely exhausted him so he had slept in. Even now he didn't really want to get up, even though he probably should. He could easily sleep some more.

His phone buzzed and he sighed, then patted his hand on the nightstand, hoping to grab it instead of knocking it off to the floor, which he’d managed to do quite a few times. He truly was lucky that it seemed pretty decently made. Turning over on his back, he squinted at the screen and Makoto’s text.

_I’m having lunch with my mother in a few hours._

He groaned, then quickly got out of bed. He really needed to do something nice for Makoto to thank him for this. It wasn’t that he’d forgotten, exactly, it’s just that he really was mentally exhausted and his brain seemed sluggish. He quickly hopped into the shower, needing to wake up properly then stood in front of his closet, trying to decide what to wear. It was his mother after all and that meant an up-scale restaurant. He decided on black slacks, a white shirt and a fitted grey blazer. She bought them for him so she should be pleased. He thought of another thing she bought, that he’d worn only once.

She had been so excited that day, when she’d brought it over and made him try it out. He hadn’t seen the point because he never wore things like that in Iwatobi, there had been no reason, a jacket was all he needed but he’d taken it with him to Tokyo, on some instinct that he might one day need something like that. He walked over to the outwear closet and yes, the practically brand new black coat was hanging there.

Haru guessed it’d make her happy to see him wearing it and he found himself wanting to do so.

He wasn’t that good with words but being with Makoto had taught him that sometimes he could also show how he was feeling by actions too. Checking the clock, he saw he could leave then if he wanted to have some time to spare just in case, so he found his black dress shoes, put the coat on, managed to fish out a grey scarf out of the mess that was the closet and let himself out.

It was a nice, sunny day and he didn’t even mind the crowded train. He supposed that this was better than just lying about at home. Being active should clear his head faster though he fully intended to just lounge around with Makoto later. Of course being active with Makoto wasn’t out of the question either but he probably had things to work on for school and Haru tended to get sleepy earlier so they’d usually end up with Haru falling asleep on Makoto’s chest while he read a textbook.

Haru strolled down the street, arriving just in time to see his mother walking towards him from the opposite direction. He sketched a little wave, and she waved back hurrying up to catch up with him. They greeted each other and then he noticed her eyes widen, and she brushed a hand down his side.

“It looks really good.” She smiled at him and he was glad he managed to get it right.

He was also right on what kind of a place she’d choose so he ended up being happy he took a bit of care with his appearance. The waiter left the menus with them and took their drink orders, though Haru only ordered sparkly water, before leaving them alone.

“Oh Haru! Congratulations once again.”

He flushed and nodded, burying his head in the menu. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling like this all of a sudden but he was embarrassed. 

“It’s such a huge thing, I have no words. I knew you were working hard and of course, it was obvious that you were talented since you were a child but this is a great achievement.” Their waiter showed up with his water and her drink then, and she paused before continuing. “Have you spoken with your coach about what’s next?”

He took a sip of his water first then shrugged. “I have a meeting with him tomorrow and it should cover that but I think there will be some talk of possible endorsements too.”

“Oh, of course.” She tapped her finger against her lip and he remembered her doing that when he was a small child and would ask a question about how something happened in nature. She’d pause to think it over, how to simplify it for him and she’d tap her lip like that with her finger. He marvelled at it because he rarely got these memory flashes about such things. “If you need to sign any contracts, please contact me. I trust your coach of course but those are legal matters and we’ll let the family attorney look at it or have her refer us to someone who specializes in those. You shouldn’t sign just anything.”

Haru frowned as he hadn’t even thought of that but was grateful for her and for offering a solution to it. “Thank you, I will. I didn’t really think about that.”

“It’s all right, you’re young and are just entering the adult world and yet you’re probably going to find yourself dealing with things like this soon enough so better to know in advance.”

Twirling the glass in his hand he peeked at her through his hair and decided that he should be able to rely on her for advice. “Makoto and I, we’re pretty open about us, so that might halt some of those things.”

“Perhaps. But then you’ll know you’ll have a good working partner with those who don’t mind now because Haru, this is just the start of your career. If things keep happening, and please don’t think I don’t believe in you, it’s more that I’m a little overwhelmed now, some that might spurn you now, may come knocking later.”

He sighed. “I’m just not good at these things.”

“You’ll learn.” She smiled at him. “Makoto also has a good head on his shoulders, so keep talking to him and I’m always here.” She frowned and he guessed what was bothering her without her saying a word. His father was a businessman, if there was anyone who could help there with advice it was him, but the matters obviously hadn’t changed. “Your coach has been in this for years, he’s seen swimmers come and go, and he’s been through this numerous times. I would be surprised if the club itself doesn’t have an attorney that you can consult too. It’ll be all right, you’ll see.” She grinned at him and he groaned. There was bound to be a change of topic he did not approve of. “I saw your interviews.”

 _Of course._ He sighed and sipped his water.

“You did much better than I though. A messenger of things to come.” He groaned and would have thumped his head on the table if they were at home. She laughed quietly then quickly patted his hand. “I’m sorry, I had to! You looked so miserable. But you did fine Haru. Keep it up!”

“I will try.” He finally remembered something she said earlier and seized the opportunity to switch the subject. After all, she loved talking about her work. “You mentioned coming back to Tokyo for something soon?” She gave him a look that told him she understood what he was doing but she really did love talking about her work, so she launched into the explanation. They ordered and soon their meals came. Time passed in companionable talk, Haru feeling relaxed in her presence. He was closer to her than he had been in years and more at ease.

After paying their bill, they walked out into the spring sun, Haru blinking from the sudden change so it took him a while to notice her looking him over.

“You’re free today, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good. We’re going shopping.”

“Eh?”

“Shopping Haruka, shopping.” She tugged at his hand and he groaned, but followed. “You are going to need more nice things too.” He groaned again. “Think of it this way. Makoto gets to see you in them as well.” He glanced at her and she nodded. “Thought you’d like that. Come on, your man will appreciate it.” She hummed. “You should take him shopping too you know. It works the other way around as well.”

He threw her another glance and thought that there was no way he could ever get Makoto to go shopping with him.

_No way. Though he wouldn’t mind seeing Makoto pose for him in various outfits. Tight ones._

He shook his head to clear it of those thoughts and then allowed his mother to drag him through different shops. He stood still when asked, and even suffered a few pricks when they were hemming that suit she particularly liked and even tried on countless things.

“Oh look Haru!” She was holding a deep red cardigan, and running her hand over it.

“That’s a bit large for me.”

“Not for you, for Makoto!” She nodded and put it on the pile. “Burgundy is perfect for those eyes of his. It’ll look wonderful on him.”

“Burgundy?”

“Think wine Haruka.” He blinked at her and decided that he’d leave it to her. If Makoto got upset he would simply blame it on her, Makoto had a soft spot for his mother. “Something purple too would be nice for him. Don’t think you’re getting out of trying those trousers, go!” She pointed towards the changing room and he went, his head bowed, while she went on another hunting trip. He just hoped she really was looking for something else for Makoto because his head was about to explode.

They were done a good hour or more after that, and she patted his cheek. “There, it wasn’t so bad, ah?”

He was about to say that it was worse than his championship races but he saw her eyes shining, happy that she got to do something with him and shook his head. “No.” Bending over, he gave her a careful, quick hug. “Thank you.”

“Thank you, Haru.” She looked at him for a long time and he wondered what she was seeing, but he couldn’t ask. “I’ll see you boys soon and we get to celebrate together, all right?” He nodded and she waved at him, before getting lost in the crowd.

He stood there for a few seconds, holding all those shopping bags she accumulated for him, and then clenched his fist around the handles.

He couldn’t wait to see her again.

His phone rang at that moment and he was grateful because he had suddenly gotten strangely emotional in the middle of the street.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Haru.” Rin’s voice sounded on the other side. “Are you still with your mother?”

“Eh. No. She just left. Wait, how do you know where I am?”

“Makoto told me.” Haru decided not to ask because Rin could be so complicated sometimes. “Mind meeting me in half an hour for a drink? I need to ask you something.”

_Please let this not be about Sousuke._

_But it’s not like I can say no._

“Sure. Where?”

Rin rattled off the place and Haru agreed, he had plenty of time to get there and it was still in the direction of his next destination. He took the train, thinking over what could it possibly be about and the only thing he could think of was Sousuke. He sighed and wondered what he could say to Rin if he asked about it. There was no way he was going to betray Sousuke’s confidence but he had no idea how to handle this.

He was there too soon for his liking and spotted Rin, who was already waiting for him in front of the café.

“Oh Haru. Nice.” Rin leered and Haru rolled his eyes at him before Rin caught him in a friendly hug, patting his back. “Seriously, looking good.” He checked him out and Haru raised his eyebrow.

“What, I like it. I like nice clothes. It’s also smart not to go around looking like a swimming advertisement all the time.”

“I had lunch with my mother.” He tugged him towards the café and Rin laughed, throwing his arm around Haru’s shoulder.

“You should take out Makoto looking like that, he’d appreciate it.” Haru chose not to answer though now that he heard it twice, he might actually do it too. He nodded. “Thanks.”

“It’s nothing. Come on, let’s try some hot chocolate.”

“Eh?”

“You can do it once, it won’t destroy your training regimen. Come on Nanase, live a little.”

He sighed and followed him in and soon they were settled with their hot chocolates, though Haru had chosen one with almond too, after Rin insisted it’s a great combination. After the first sip he had to agree that it was, though it got him thinking if he could make this at home for Makoto. He would surely love it.

“So.”

He watched Rin play with his glass and sighed.

“Is this about Sousuke?” He almost slapped himself, so much for subtlety.

“What? No. Did you fight or something?”

“No!” Haru waved his hand at Rin to stop him. “Just spit it out.”

“Well, it’s kind of about Sousuke.”

Managing to keep in his groan, Haru took a sip of his chocolate instead. He felt it was a good idea after all, it’d help his poor nerves.

“Only not really?”

“Rin.”

“I want to join your club.”

“What?”

“Look Haru, I’m not trying to crowd you or anything like that! It’s just that my coach and Mizushima-san were talking during the breaks in races. They figured that it’d be best if we just joined you all.”

“Isn’t your coach employed at the other club in Australia?”

“Actually, he wanted to see me through and then retire. I had no idea!” Rin threw his hands up and Haru just nodded. “So he’d just switch here, his children are all grown and his wife would join him, and he’d be with me until the Olympics. Mizushima-san is more than fine with this as he’d coach some others too.”

“I don’t see the issue.”

“What?”

“Why are you upset?” Haru honestly failed to see the problem, it sounded pretty much perfect to him. “You stay in Japan, with all of us, your coach is staying with you.”

“I just thought it’d be weird if I suddenly crashed your club.” He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at his drink and Haru sighed.

“You’re an idiot. But you’re our idiot I guess. Welcome to Ryuujin.”

“Yeah?” Rin smiled and Haru wondered if the sudden sound of a chair scraping behind him was someone fleeing for cover from those teeth.

“Yes.” He lifted his glass in a toast and Rin laughed, then lifted his.

“Why did you think this was about Sousuke?”

Haru almost choked on his drink and coughed. Rin looked worried but he gestured he was fine, and took a sip of the water that was brought with the chocolates. He wondered if they anticipated people choking so brought it along just in case.

“Oh, nothing. I was just guessing.”

“Eh.” Rin seemed confused but shrugged. “I hope he doesn’t mind we’ll be seeing each other more now.”

_Oh he won’t mind._

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Rin stretched his legs in front of him, relaxing now in the chair, sipping his drink then glanced at Haru.

“He’s been really weird recently.”

_I knew this was going to be about Sousuke._

~~

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, Rin.” He checked his phone again, noting the time running out. “He’s fine, there’re no problems and yes, you should talk to him directly.”

“I just keep thinking it’s something I’m doing.”

Haru almost rolled his eyes because yes, it was definitely something Rin was doing but he couldn’t very well say so.

“We could have dinner one night? Since you’re coming over to the club, let’s celebrate, just you, me and Makoto. I know we’re going out for that group thing but the three of us haven’t talked properly since that time right after you got back.”

“Oh! I’d like that.” He was smiling again. “I could ask Makoto what he thinks too.”

Haru nodded and found himself caught in a hug again. He patted Rin’s back and pulled away. “I have to go or I’ll miss Makoto. We’ll text to arrange this, all right? I have to ask him about the best time for this too.”

“Of course. Go, and Haru? Thanks.”

“It’s nothing. See you!” He waved and walked quickly towards the station. Makoto had gone to the library after classes to do some research and Haru intended to catch him on his way out, then maybe go and grab some food and enjoy before Makoto grabbed his books again. He lucked out and managed to get on the train right away.

The library loomed in front of him and he checked his phone again. He was definitely cutting it a bit late, considering Makoto’s habits but he still had to smile when he remembered the last time he was there. At least it wasn’t raining on this occasion. He was about to chance it and simply call Makoto when the front door opened and there was Makoto, with a bunch of other students obviously, including Himura who was talking and waving his hands around. Of course, he spotted Haru first.

“Oh Tachibana, look who it is!”

Makoto turned and he smiled when he saw Haru but then his eyes narrowed. Haru wondered what was wrong but then Makoto was looking him over slowly and Haru decided that his mother and Rin knew what they were talking about. He really didn’t mind the look in Makoto’s eyes right now. In fact, he really liked it. He waved and walked over without rushing, letting Makoto have his fill. His eyes never left him either and he was quite pleased.

“Hey.”

Makoto coughed, blinking rapidly before managing to sketch a little wave at Haru. He smirked and then said hello to the two men he knew.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” The girl asked impatiently, staring at Haru who frowned but then patiently said hello to everyone, Matsushita making the introductions. Makoto still stood silently, staring at him and Haru kept smirking slightly.

“Shopping Nanase?”

He raised his eyebrow at Himura and stayed quiet as he really didn’t feel like explaining. “Well he at least knows how to dress, not like you slobs.” Came from the other girl, who was joined by the first, by voicing her approval too.

“We can say it in person now,” Matsushita was talking again, obviously trying to change the subject, so he gladly focused on him, “congratulations Nanase. That was incredible swimming, so exciting.”

“Thank you.” He nodded, and the others joined in too.

“We could go and celebrate, if you’re free.” The first girl whose name he did not remember, offered, and he just blinked at her when Makoto cut in. “Ah we have to go home I’m afraid. Previous engagement.” He suddenly moved and stood to Haru’s side, his hand on the small of Haru’s back.

Haru nodded, happy to get away.

“I’m sure you’re tired too, that was a gruelling four days.” Matsushita kindly added and Haru remembered why he liked this man. He promised himself they’d go out with him and his girlfriend later, but now he was quite pleased to say his goodbyes and go home with Makoto.

“He is even more gorgeous in person!” The girl whined rather loudly, and Himura started complaining again about being single.

Haru could see Makoto’s jaw clench so he hooked his arm under Makoto’s, tugging him forward. “Let’s pick up dinner first, shall we?” Makoto nodded, his gaze proprietary and though Haru really didn’t mind he also didn’t want him to worry about things like this.

They’d gone forward a bit but they could still hear the others and a rather loud female voice asking “Wait, are they…?”

Haru thought she really should have gotten the message sooner.

Himura was cackling in the distance and Haru decided that he might like him too. A little bit.

~~

He sighed when he finally got his shoes off, walking into the living room and putting the bags onto the chair. He managed to shrug off his coat and blazer, and throw them on the couch when Makoto’s hands reached for him, turning him around before his mouth was taken. Makoto’s tongue demanded entrance and he gladly granted it, moaning into the sudden kiss, his hands flailing for moment before resting on those broad shoulders. The muscles bunched under his fingers and pressed down, groaning at the feel of strength and power.

Makoto’s hand was in his hair by then, tugging a little, and he could only moan as his lower lip was sucked before Makoto attacked his neck. He tilted his head, allowing for better access and was on fire from the nips and open mouthed kisses being lavished upon his skin. Feeling Makoto moving again he whined but then he was simply being lifted up so he wrapped his legs around Makoto’s waist.

He’d never told him but he had loved it when Makoto had done it the first time, he’d felt desire spike when he had been so easily handled around. Not wanting to make it easy though, he chose to use the situation and latched on to that spot that drove Makoto crazy, biting where his shoulder met the neck. A growl as a warning but Haru never was too good at listening to those.

They crashed onto the bed before he knew it, Makoto landing on top of him and not wasting a single moment before kissing him again. Haru's hips moved on their own accord. He was already feeling half lost in the desire and vaguely thought that they really shouldn’t have such big breaks between being together because he might just explode then. He mewled in protest again when Makoto lifted his head but halted when he saw Makoto had only lifted up to get rid of his shirt, before unbuttoning Haru’s own and tugging. He helped out and soon it joined Makoto’s on the floor, followed by the rest of their clothes.

He moaned when Makoto’s body covered his again, feeling skin on skin, sensation magnified and watched as Makoto smoothed his hands down Haru’s body slowly.

“So soft.”

He was puzzled for a second then he remembered the torture of shaving before the competition.

“Good?”

Makoto just nodded and continued petting him almost, making Haru conclude that maybe it’d have been worth it when Makoto seemed so transfixed. He arched into the caress and sighed in pleasure when Makoto replaced his hands with his lips. He couldn’t contain himself any longer and when Makoto sucked on his nipple, he scratched down his back.

“Haru.” His mouth was taken again roughly, Makoto’s hand flying into his hair. He thrust forward once more, but Makoto’s other hand landed on his hip, holding him down. He broke their kiss and panted, and Haru watched him through half-hooded eyes.

“This is going to be over embarrassingly fast if you keep doing that.”

Haru’s hands pushed him down again, claiming another kiss before whispering. “I’m not much better. It’s been a while.” Makoto observed him for a few moments before nodding and sneaking his hand beneath Haru, making him sit up. He watched as Makoto backed up, finally kneeling then crooked his finger at Haru who laughed at the gesture but moved over anyway, straddling Makoto’s knees.

“Mmm.” He hummed into the kiss, enjoying Makoto’s hands roaming down his back, kneading his arse.

“I can reach all over like this.” Makoto grinned, sucking Haru’s earlobe into his mouth, making Haru’s hips move again. This time Makoto didn’t stop him and pushed up himself, making their cocks slide together.

“Open.” Haru blinked at the finger nudging his mouth. He pretended to think about it, coyly looking at Makoto then slowly opened his mouth. “Nice and wet.” His brain was short-circuiting from the way Makoto was practically ordering him about, so he concentrated on twirling his tongue around the finger and sucking on it, before another was added and he gave them both the same treatment. Makoto’s eyes were fixed on his mouth, pupils dilated and he gently nipped at it. “Enough.”

“Are you sure?” He asked, blinking as innocently as he could in that moment.

“We’ll see, won’t we?” A wicked smirk and another kiss. He pushed into the hand that sneaked down his back, to his arse and along his cleft to circle the pucker there. Moaning he sucked on Makoto’s tongue, then broke the kiss as the finger breached him. He gasped for air, and looked at Makoto who was carefully watching him. “All right?”

He had to nod because words were beyond him at that moment. He was used to this by now yet Makoto had always been so careful. Now that had gone and instead been replaced by this decisiveness. There was no pain but a slight burn that only intensified the sensations. He pushed back against Makoto’s hand to indicate he was fine and then sneaked his hand between their bodies to grasp their cocks together, while he held on to Makoto with the other.

Haru couldn’t stop himself from moving any longer and he almost rode that finger, his eyes closed, trying to keep his hand moving even though his brain was shot. When Makoto added the second finger he shouted and pushed back again, the burning mixing exquisitely with the pleasure.

Their mouths met in a sloppy kiss, before Haru threw his head back and gasped, as Makoto managed to crook his fingers and rub his prostate. He increased the movements of his hand as he was so close but didn’t want to go over without Makoto who was being merciless now, his fingers constantly hitting that spot. He managed to hold on for a while before his body simply couldn’t take the sensuous assault any longer and he spilled all over his hand. His head fell onto Makoto’s shoulder but he somehow managed to pump a few more times before Makoto shouted and joined him, finding his own climax.

Letting go he brought his other hand around Makoto’s neck, trying not to fall but then Makoto’s fingers left his body, causing him to moan helplessly, being so sensitive, and Makoto embraced him, keeping him safe.

It took a while for him to regain his breath and have enough strength to lift his head up. Makoto was looking at him so he wiggled even closer if that was even possible and brought their mouths together for a slow kiss.

“I didn’t hurt you?” Makoto asked after a few minutes, his face creasing in worry but Haru just shook his head before kissing him again. “No, that was really good.” He shrugged, not knowing how to say it better and he definitely couldn’t describe in words why it had been so explosive to him.

“You have no idea how you looked.” Makoto’s eyes were fixated on his, his hands roaming Haru’s back again, caressing his arms. “So beautiful. So hot.” He was blushing but he didn’t care, it made him feel warm inside Makoto saw him like that.

“So were you.” He gave him a quick kiss then averted his eyes as he struggled with the words. “But when you just flip me over like that or lift me up, it makes me go crazy.”

“Really?” Makoto’s voice was delighted and Haru only nodded then his chin was lifted up by gentle fingers and he was being kissed again, slowly and lovingly. “I like doing it.” He smiled at Haru who just hid his head in the crook of Makoto’s neck, feeling exposed and vulnerable. It was Makoto though, so it was all right.

“Haru?”

“Bath?”

Makoto softly laughed, shaking his head. “I was thinking more a shower as our food is going to completely go to waste.”

“You jumped me!” His head snapped up to look at Makoto in mock outrage, trying not to smile.

“Are you complaining?” A raised eyebrow and Haru snickered, having lost the battle. “No. Just saying.”

“Anyway, that’s not what I was going to ask.”

“Hmm?”

“About this.” Makoto was slowly turning red and Haru couldn’t help but be fascinated. _What could possibly be making him be this embarrassed after what just happened?_ “This?” _What is he thinking?_

“Eh.” Makoto kept rubbing his back and Haru decided to just wait him out. “Yes. I mean…” His hand went down and cupped Haru’s arse and Haru suddenly had a pretty good idea of what “this” was. He thought he’d wait though. It wasn’t that he wanted to torture Makoto, but he did want to be clear on these matters.

“Makoto?”

“Ugh.” Makoto’s head fell onto Haru’s shoulder and he groaned, causing a laugh to burst out of Haru. “It’s not easy!” Haru pulled at Makoto’s hair and kissed him slowly. “You can ask me anything.”

“I want you.” Makoto sighed and closed his eyes, then tried again. “I want to go further. If you’d like to, that is.”

“Anal sex.”

Makoto groaned again and his head fell back onto Haru’s shoulder. Haru thought he was adorable. It was so sweet how he could switch from confident to blushing and stammering in minutes.

“Yes.” The pressure of his hand increased before he abruptly moved it up, probably just realizing where it was resting. “If you don’t want to, ever, it’s totally fine though!”

Putting Makoto out of his misery seemed like a wise choice so he just admitted softly. “I know Makoto. And I want to.”

“Yes?” Makoto’s head snapped up to look at him.

“Yes. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now too. I want to try.”

Makoto grinned. “Thank goodness.”

It was such an honest confession that Haru burst out laughing. Makoto went beet red and shrugged. “I really want to. I’ve been thinking about it too.”

“Researching?”

“Maybe.” He suddenly got serious and cradled Haru’s head against him. “I never want to hurt you.”

“I know.” Haru sighed, he always felt safe with Makoto, was sure he’d never hurt him on purpose. Remembering the library moment, he lifted his head back up and cupped Makoto’s cheek. “You know I am not interested in anyone else, right?”

“Eh?”

“The library.”

“Oh!” Makoto flushed. “I know, I just got strangely possessive. I didn’t want them anywhere near you.” Haru kissed him, wanting to reassure him. “I don’t mind that, especially if it gets us here. But as long as you don’t actually worry because there’s no reason to.”

“I think I may be a little jealous sometimes.”

“Just talk to me then. But a little fire is fine. I like it, when you get all assertive. I like it a lot.” Makoto smiled sheepishly but his eyes were glowing and Haru was sure he’d see more of that Makoto in the future. “Now, how about we shower and … practice?” He grinned and waggled his eyebrows.

“I think practice is good.” Makoto nodded really fast. “Practice is excellent. I like practice.” He was off the bed and pulling a laughing Haru with him as fast as physically possible.

Haru really liked practice too, so he had no objections. The food could wait.

~~

Haru rinsed off the last of the suds from his body, then turned the water off and grabbed his towel.

He’d finished up the swimming session for the day and was pleasantly tired. They didn’t go all out today and he was grateful, as he was still recovering from the races but he felt he should be fine tomorrow. Drying off his hair, he slowly walked to his locker and yawned.

“Big night partying it up Nanase?” One of the other swimmers laughed and he shook his head.

“Not really. I’m still tired from the competition.” That got him a nod, the man commiserating. “I swear the mental part of it wears me down much more than the physical. It’s difficult to stay focused.”

“Yes.” He agreed, though at the time, he wasn’t even aware of the pressure, it only caught up with him later. He did get a good amount of rest last night, which helped. After he and Makoto finally got out of the shower, he had eaten and watched some television before going to sleep. He hadn’t even heard when Makoto had joined him, which was unusual.

He found his clothes and got dressed, then waved to the man, before heading out to the offices. His appointment with Mizushima-san was coming up and he had just enough time to get there. The place seemed pretty full to him today, and he was stopped several times by other people, some that he recognized, others not, to congratulate him on his victories. He tried being polite and thanking them but mostly just tried to get to his destination as fast as possible.

“Ah, Nanase-san, go right in!” The personal assistant waved him in, already back to her work so he mumbled an awkward greeting and knocked before entering. Mizushima-san was on the phone but gestured to the chair.

Haru seated himself, then looked down, rubbing his anchor bracelet. He hoped the meeting wouldn’t be too long. Mizushima-san ended the call quickly enough so at least the wait wasn’t too long.

“Apologies Nanase, sponsors!”

“It’s no problem.”

“First, congratulations again.” He smiled at Haru who sat up straighter and smiled. “Thank you. It was thanks to you, and Yamazaki as well.”

“And your dedication and hard work Nanase. We’re going to be working even harder from now on.” He rummaged through the papers on his desk before he found what he was looking for and waved them at Haru. “We’re also going to be traveling.” He sat back in his chair and sighed. “As you know, I help out a lot for the national team too. We’ll be doing some international meets in July and August, there’s the Japan Invitational coming up first, and of course, the Asian Games in late September.”

Haru didn’t think there’d be quite so many things waiting for him. He had all but forgotten about the Asian Games but it was because he wasn’t used to this cycle at all, it was his first time around.

“Where are they this year?”

“We’ll be going to South Korea, but before that, we’ll be off to Europe for about a month and then, the one Australian event too.” He offered him the schedule and Haru leaned forward, taking it. “Thank you.”

“We have the new practice schedule as well, you are going to be very busy in the following months! But that’s the road to the ultimate goal! There’s no need to worry, you’ll have a rest past the Asian Games and then we’ll be preparing for the World’s. Of course, provided there are no injuries so I expect you to take care of yourself Nanase.”

Haru nodded, looking over the schedule and it wasn’t as daunting as it had sounded at first. True, he’d be away for almost a month but that was the longest. “You will be going with us?”

“Yes, and before you ask, Yamazaki will be going too for at least some of it, though I don’t know everything yet. As you know he does have his University to consider, as quite soon he’ll have to devote a part of his time to that.” He typed something into his laptop then raised his head. “Now, I’ve already had some preliminary enquiries into endorsement deals when it comes to you. It’s early days yet but that’s going to happen, count on it.”

“I was wondering about that, the legal side.”

“Of course the club has an attorney that I can refer you to, I’ll help out as well and you can of course bring someone yourself, if you can?”

“We do have a family one but I haven’t spoken to her yet about it.”

“Either is fine, they can also consult. Next, we’ll be having a television crew visit us and don’t groan.” He smiled at Haru because by now everyone realized he was less than thrilled with the idea. “You did fine for the post-race interviews, don’t change anything. The man already interviewed you, twice, actually, Kitajima-san.”

“Oh yes, I remember.”

That had Mizushima-san grinning and he shrugged. It wasn’t his fault the man shared the surname with their famous swimmer. “Well, he’ll be here with his crew soon, to do an hour long documentary on us. We’ve had a lot of success in this championship, both women and men, and he’ll of course want to talk to you, maybe film a portion of your practice.”

Haru sighed resignedly but it had to be done. “He was nice.”

“Yes, he’s a good man, knows his swimming.” Another grin and Haru wondered what now. “You’ve spoken to Matsuoka I trust?”

“Yes, we met yesterday. I’m happy he’ll be joining us. He’s a very talented swimmer and a hard worker.”

“Good. His coach is excellent as well actually, we’ll be gaining with him joining us. I’m quite pleased how this turned out. I am not sure they’d have chosen us even with our reputation but Matsuoka knows you’re here so it went surprisingly easy. That’s it. I have nothing more for today. Anything I should know about?”

Haru shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Good. You know where to find me if you need anything but I’ll see you tomorrow otherwise.”

They parted ways and Haru walked down the corridor engrossed in the schedule. He checked his phone and noticed it was Makoto’s free time so he ducked into one of the break rooms before dialling.

“Ah, Haru! You usually don’t call at this time.”

“I just got out of that meeting with Mizushima-san.”

“Oh!” He could hear Makoto walking and the voices in the background growing more quiet. “What happened? Did you get the schedule?”

“Yes, I’ll be in Europe for that month this summer, there’s a meet over in Australia and the Asian Games if I get into the team, which should happen, barring injury. There’s that Japan Invitational too but that’s here in Tokyo.”

“That is so exciting!” He could practically feel Makoto vibrate on the other side so he smiled for the first time too. “You’ll be swimming with pros from other countries! Oh Haru!”

“I know. I can’t wait.” Haru stared at the ceiling and sighed. “I’ll miss you though.”

“I’ll miss you too. And I’ll definitely come cheer for you at the Invitational!”

“Good day?”

“Ah.” Makoto paused, obviously caught off guard at the change of topic but then whispered. “Himura is at it again. Can we please find him a girlfriend?”

Haru laughed and they teased each other for a bit before hanging up. He walked back towards the locker-rooms to get his things, thinking he would miss Makoto.

He was also so incredibly excited to be swimming with all those people, on different continents, in different pools. He could not wait.

~~

“I’m home!”

Haru hummed, happy to hear Makoto’s voice but kept on cooking. He’d arrived about an hour ago after taking a detour to the market and had begun preparing dinner. It was going to be a while because it required baking but he felt like doing it that day. Tomorrow he’d be back to his usual schedule so he wanted to take the opportunity.

“Haru?”

“Kitchen!”

“Ah, yes.” He could hear the padding of feet but kept his focus on the dough. Makoto’s head suddenly appeared in his field of vision, and a peck was deposited on his cheek. “That looks interesting.”

“It’s new. It’ll be quite a bit before it’s done, are you hungry? I went by the market, bought some groceries and snacks. Oh and your juice too.”

“Thank you.” Another kiss, one that lingered a bit more, then a finger appeared in front of him. “What?”

“Hold on.” Makoto rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You had flour there.”

“Oh!” He wrinkled his nose and smiled then leaned over for a kiss. He hummed, feeling content.

“I’m going to take a shower then and get some work done on one of my papers. Finals are looming, I think my head’s going to explode.”

“You’ll be brilliant.” He swiped a finger down Makoto’s nose and smiled. “There, you can wash that off too.” Makoto giggled and pecked his cheek again before disappearing through the door and Haru focused again on the food. By the time he was done and the dish in the oven, baking, Makoto was typing away furiously behind his laptop. Haru walked over to the bathroom and then noticed their laundry basket was full so filled the machine. He grinned at Makoto’s socks that were dutifully put away in it and threw them in to wash as well.

He selected the program and let it run then stretched. He could take a bath, he supposed. He had enough time, so he quickly filled the tub, added a bit of lavender oil before taking off his clothes and getting in. Sighing at the feeling of warmth seeping into his muscles, he put the towel under his head and closed his eyes.

He loved baths.

Haru was lost in daydreams of beaches and the ocean when Makoto opened the door. He seemed a bit flustered, his glasses perched at the top of his nose. “Haru. There you are. Here.” He handed him the phone and walked out, leaving Haru holding it in his completely wet hand.

“Just a moment please.”

He had no idea who it even was so hoped that he wasn’t being too rude, but he grabbed a towel and wiped his hands before settling back into the water.

“Hello?”

“Ah Nanase. Am I interrupting?”

“Yamazaki. No, I’m in the bath.”

“Why didn’t Tachibana just say so? I could have called later.”

Haru smiled. “He’s working on his paper and he gets so focused that it’s hard to get him to shift gears. You’ll find out how that is soon enough.”

He heard a sigh and some papers being shuffled. “I know, I’ve been studying myself for the exam. I still think once that is done, I’ll be fine considering I’m only working with you. Did Mizushima-san talk to you?”

“Yes, it’s going to be fun.”

“That’s what Rin said.”

_And now we come to the reason you called. Come on Sousuke, put me out of my misery._

“About that…” _Here we go._ “Can you even talk?”

“Yes, now quit stalling.” Haru wondered when he’d become everyone’s agony aunt.

“The Nationals are done and he’s coming over to the club and…”

“And you’ve been avoiding him.” Haru shook his head. Really, the man was an idiot. He and Rin were perfect for each other. “That’s not going to do anything but get him thinking something’s wrong.”

“I told him we had a lot of work because of the competition.” Haru rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Yamazaki, listen. He’s not going to fall for that. You’re too close for him not to figure out something’s up.”

_That was probably a bad choice of words._

“It’s really hard for me to act as if we’re just friends.”

_Another one._

“If that’s the case, then there’s only one thing to do. Talk to him.”

“Nothing has changed since the last time we spoke about this.” Haru understood Sousuke’s frustration but he really had no other advice. Rin was aware that there was some issue and was afraid he was the cause, not that he could tell Sousuke that, and on the other hand, Sousuke was right, the situation hadn’t changed since that day he talked to him and Makoto. They were at a stale-mate.

“Well then, wait it out. Something is going to change and you’re just going to have to be patient. Try to pull it together for an hour or two a week when you meet, otherwise say you’re studying and you are, so it’s not a lie and use texts. It’s easier that way.”

“I’m so bad at all of this.”

Haru suddenly felt sorry for him. No matter their past differences Sousuke was a good man and it wasn’t easy having feelings like this. He suspected it was more because it was all so vague. He wished there was something he could do to help him.

“You’re not bad at it. It’s not like this is easy. There’s no manual.”

“I’m sorry for bothering you with all of this.”

“Don’t be an idiot. I just wish I could help.” Haru carefully rose and got out of the tub, reaching for the towel. “I can make you a cake.”

“You and your cooking Nanase.” He snorted, then chuckled and Haru was glad he offered. At least he got him to smile. “I might take you up on that. I like chocolate. Lots of it.”

“You might have to fight Makoto for it then.”

“Bring it on.” He laughed again and Haru decided that he’d be making that cake for sure. He couldn’t really help but this he could do. “I’ll let you go now. Thanks.”

“Nothing to thank me for. Go study, it’ll help pass the time.” They said their goodbyes and Haru put the phone away before towelling himself dry, then grabbing some fresh clothes. Makoto was still engrossed in his work and didn’t even twitch when he passed through on his way to the kitchen. He peeked into the oven and saw that it looked perfect. Grabbing the kitchen mitts because burns were not his idea of fun, he got the dish out and placed it carefully on the stove.

The room was filled with an enticing aroma and he inhaled deeply. It smelled wonderfully and he dished out the food on their plates before taking them to the table. Makoto finally rose up for air from his studying, closing the laptop. “That smells great! I’m starving!”

“I am too. Hope it tastes good too.”

“I am sure it will.” They sat down and dug in, enjoying the meal and the salad that Haru had whipped up to go with it. Their plates were almost empty when Makoto finally spoke.

“What did Sousuke want?”

“Ah so you do remember he called.” Haru laughed and pointed to the almost empty plate. “More?”

“Yes, please.” He got up though, following Haru to the kitchen and watched him as he got them seconds. “Was it something urgent? I just figured it was swimming related.”

“Try Rin related.” Makoto groaned and Haru nodded. “It’s what Rin said yesterday but I can’t break that confidence of course so I had to work around it. He’s frustrated so he’s been avoiding him.”

“I understand him though.” Makoto took their full again plates and walked back while Haru got more water. “I mean it’s not easy knowing what you desire most is right there and yet being unable to have it. I am sure Rin has feelings for him as well but…”

“Yes, it’s that but that’s the problem. There’s nothing to be done really. He’ll either talk to Rin or find some way to hang in there until the situation changes. I told him to be more subtle about the avoiding though.”

“I wish we could help.” Makoto was poking at his food, dejected but he had nothing else to offer.

Haru glanced at him and sighed. “I said I’ll make him a cake. He likes chocolate.”

This got him a surprised glance before Makoto pulled him into a slow kiss. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.” He waved him away, flushing and they slowly finished their dinner, talking about Europe and Australia and that summer. Makoto helped wash the dishes then stretched.

“You off to bed?”

“I want to go through this book about training I got from Mizushima-san but yes, I’ll be in bed. Don’t work too hard.”

“I’m almost done actually so wait up?”

“Of course.” Haru pecked his cheek then got his book and walked into the bedroom. He changed his clothes before crawling in, book in hand and opening it where he left off. He heard the sound of Makoto’s typing and thought that they truly were living together. Dinner, conversations, silly and serious things. Waiting up and falling asleep, and he loved every minute of it. All that was left was to move all of Makoto’s things over soon. He smiled and then started reading, feeling happy and content.

~~

“Morning Tachibana.”

Makoto looked up from his book and blinked. It was one of the girls from the other day. She smirked at him and walked by, entering their class. He wasn’t quite sure what that was about but then, it was probably about Haru which meant he really had no patience for it. He looked down the hall again and then gave up waiting. He was supposed to meet Kagome, to give him the notes for the previous class but he was late and Makoto really wanted to get his things ready before the professor arrived. He shrugged, figuring that he’d catch up to him at lunch and walked in, finding his usual seat.

He had just managed to get everything in order when the professor walked in and quickly started lecturing, which was her habit. It’s why he always made sure to be prepared as she paid no mind to those who weren’t ready and notes were everything in this subject. He lost himself in her words and the next thing he knew, the block was done and two hours had gone by. His wrist was killing him too but he was used to such things. Stretching, he saw Kagome loitering outside the door and gave him a little wave.

Picking up the notes he needed, he got into the hall.

“Sorry about that Tachibana but yes, thank you so much.”

“Nothing to thank me for, they’re copies so no need to rush to return them.”

“Brilliant. Thank you again. Ever since I got sick I just can’t seem to catch up. So bothersome.” Kagome groaned. He’d been out for two weeks with flu and was still struggling to get back in the groove.

“It’ll be fine. If you need…”

“Tachibana! Makoto!” His head snapped up and he saw a worried Matsushita and Koizumi almost running towards him.

“Eh?”

“Go see what’s wrong, thanks again!” Kagome waved and rushed off to his class, leaving Makoto standing in the hall. He found himself taken by the arm by Matsushita and dragged into a corner before Koizumi thrust a paper in front of his eyes.

“What?”

“The headline!”

It took a second for him to focus and he groaned.

_This is not happening._

“Swimmer boyfriends?” Was written in large letters, with a photo of Haru and Rin hugging in the middle of the street. He quickly turned to the page number with the so-called article and there were more photos, of Rin with his arm around Haru’s back, then the two of them at a café and Haru leaning forward, his hand over Rin’s then another hug.

“All of this isn’t so bad, I mean they are friends.”

Koizumi nodded. “The text isn’t though.”

Makoto scanned it quickly and she was right. It referred to anonymous sources about Haru being spotted with another man after the competitions, and then various speculation of his relationship with Rin.

“It was me but they don’t know that, so went with Rin.”

“It’s the tabloids so not like anyone serious will pay it any mind but we thought it was important that you know.” Koizumi looked worried and Matsushita nodded in agreement.

“Thank you so much guys. It isn’t so much about Haru as much as the Rin of it. I mean Haru and I have decided not to hide but this is different. Thank you again.”

“Nothing to thank us for, you probably want to call Haru, we’ll leave you to it.” They left the paper with him too and Makoto moved to a corner and dialled Haru. He had no idea if he could even reach him because according to his schedule, he was probably in the pool. As he expected his call was left unanswered and though he tried again just to be sure, it was clear that Haru was away. Not having other options he left him a text to get in touch as soon as possible.

He stood there, staring at his phone and then decided against calling either Rin or Sousuke. The latter would just panic and he wasn’t sure how Rin would react. He inhaled deeply to try and calm down then told himself it wasn’t so awful. Tabloids ran all sorts of stories and hopefully it would just pass. Walking back into his class, he rolled up the paper so as to keep the headline away from any curious looks. He grabbed the bag that he carried with him and stuffed it there, then tried tuning it all out by concentrating on his class that was about to start.

He couldn’t say he was completely successful because his mind wondered away a couple of times but he did manage to take notes for the most part. As soon as they were done, he grabbed all his things and pretty much flew outside, followed by surprised looks of his colleagues. Makoto was usually much more composed but he had no time to waste now.

Checking his phone, he saw that there had been no calls and groaned. Sitting down at one of the benches, he rubbed his eyes. He was probably panicking because of his own experience but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t even know how Rin would answer if his mother asked him about it. They were certain he wasn’t really aware of his feelings for Sousuke but even if he were, he may choose to hide it from his family, considering everything. It wasn’t the same yet Makoto couldn’t help himself. Rin only had her. He needed her.

He knew what it meant to have your world slowly collapse around you because your parents just didn’t love you enough.

Just as he thought he’d jump out of his skin, the phone rang and Haru’s name flashed on the screen.

He was quite sure he’d have fallen from relief if he wasn’t already sitting down.

“Haru!”

“What’s wrong?”

He launched into the explanation, somewhat all over the place but hopefully getting the story across, and then rattled off the tabloid name in the end.

“Makoto, you all right?”

“I’m worried about Rin. And you.”

“He’s here, I’ll talk to him so that he knows if his mother contacts him. I’ll handle it. And for the tabloids, we aren’t hiding, so don’t worry about them coming after me.”

“Are you sure? What if Rin’s mother reads that?”

“Makoto. It’s going to be fine.”

“I’m sorry I got panicky.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Makoto sighed, finally relaxing. “I’ll let you go so that you can talk to Rin.”

“Makoto?”

“Hmm?”

“How about four?”

“What?”

“You’re still counting, right?”

“I’d like a four.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. See you soon.”

The dial tone was all that was heard from the other side and Makoto smiled and got up to go eat something finally.

~~

Haru disconnected and sighed. He wished he could be with Makoto but he would have to wait for later that day. He had things to take care of first. Not contacting Sousuke was good, he would have gone off the rails but he thought it was going to be fine with Rin. He finished dressing and hung around for a few minutes when Rin walked out of his shower.

“Mind meeting me outside, once you’re done? I need to talk to you.”

“Is something wrong? Is it Sousuke?” Haru sighed because really, Rin had Sousuke on his brain. How he could not see that it was more than friendship, he really wasn’t sure. Even Haru had managed to figure out on his own he liked Makoto.

“No, it’s not. I’ll wait for you in the hall.” He grabbed his stuff and walked out, leaving Rin scrambling behind him. He didn’t have to wait long though because Rin was obviously curious and he probably got from his tone that something was the matter.

“All right, I’m here.”

“Come on, there’s a break room this way.”

“Haru?”

Haru just turned right because he really didn’t want to start that conversation where everyone could hear them. Opening the door, he let Rin go in first, then closed it behind them.

“This is beginning to look ominous.”

“Makoto called. And well, here.” He offered Rin his phone that was showing the online edition of the tabloid.

“What is this?” Rin squeaked and began scrolling through the photos and up to the article. “Oh I see.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Eh?” Rin looked up at him, his face confused. “How is this your fault? It’s tabloid rubbish.”

“Someone must have seen me with Makoto and then they used you when they couldn’t identify him for sure.”

“I got that but Haru, this is not your fault. Or Makoto’s. These are just sleaze bags, they’d do anything, write anything.” Rin still seemed confused and Haru rubbed the back of his neck.

“What if your mother sees it?”

“Oh.” Rin blinked at him and nodded. “I didn’t think about that.” He looked at the photos again and Haru just stood there, watching him in silence. There wasn’t anything else he could do, there was no way to ask someone something so personal anyway. Rin shrugged. “She loves me.”

His fist clenched into a fist. Haru wished such sentences solved everything but they did not, not for him, any more. Not for Makoto. The harsh reality that sometimes that did not stand true was not something he could forget.

“Rin.”

“I know.” He shook his head at Haru. “I know.”

“Now what?”

“Go home. Talk to Makoto. He must be stressed out.” No matter how much he liked to joke around, Rin had matured a lot during the last year or more, and he knew Makoto well. “Make me that dinner, all right? I’ll be over a bit later, I need to make some calls.” Haru nodded, grateful. Just as he was about to leave, Rin caught him in a hug, holding on tight and Haru hugged back, with everything he had.

~~

Haru made a brief stop to Mizushima-san’s office and showed him the tabloids. He wasn’t sure if they’d see it and he didn’t want the man or anyone else at the club to be caught off guard. His coach had thanked him and then told him to go home and act as usual. His advice had been not to talk to them if they approached him but he didn’t think they would. Haru had agreed and then left.

Deciding to make a market run had been a last minute decision but as he went through the rows he felt the routine helped sort his head out. He paid particular mind in the chocolate section. That day with Rin and his mother had been a good one, he wouldn’t let this taint it and one of the good things that came out of it was the idea of making hot chocolate for Makoto so he scoured the shelves now for just the right ingredients. He didn’t want to make anything fancy for dinner, so he picked up some meat and vegetables and was off home.

By the time he’d gotten there, Makoto had arrived, judging by the shoes already left in the genkan. He put his away then padded in, finding Makoto curled up on the couch. Makoto’s head snapped up, he righted himself, looking scared and Haru just put the bags down and walked over, before cupping his head in his hands and kissing him. It was just a press of lips, nothing more but at the same time it was a connection they both craved. Makoto’s arms came up around him and pulled him down, Haru settling on his lap.

“I feel so stupid but I can’t…”

“You’re not stupid.” Haru kissed his temple, hugged him fiercely. “You’re not.” Makoto was holding him like maybe he was his life-line just then and he held him back, knowing that nothing could heal this wound. There are some hurts that just grow numb as time passes but they never heal.  

Makoto’s head was tucked into the crook of his neck and he could feel his breathing slowly even out. “What did Rin say?”

“He told me to go home to you.” He combed Makoto’s hair with his fingers, before continuing. “He’s not angry. He’s going to come over, told me we could have that dinner today. I bought ingredients.”

“Eh?”

“He is going to make some calls then come over. Come on.” He climbed off Makoto’s lap and offered him his hand. It took a few seconds before Makoto took it, and Haru pulled him to his feet. “You are going to help me cook this, it’s a simple thing, but it’s going to help pass the time.”

“Is he going to call her?”

“I imagine so but there is nothing we can do now, about any of this. It’s out of our hands. We can keep busy at least and Rin can have a good home-cooked meal.”

Haru knew better than to put Makoto near knives when he was so distracted so he got him on washing veggies and then mostly just kept him occupied with small talk about school, about Himura, anything and everything. Time ticked on and they were finished before Rin showed up. Haru put everything under a cover to keep it warm, then having nothing else to do, they retired onto the couch, simply waiting, cuddled together under a blanket.

When the bell rang, Makoto was up on his feet before Haru could even think about getting up. He practically ran to the door and let Rin in.

Dropping his bag on the floor, Rin looked at them and shrugged.

“I don’t know what to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.
> 
> As a precaution, in bad-ish news, my (new) lapotop died but the fic is safe as I had it on an external drive too for safe keeping. Phew. It's awkward to edit on my phone though so please forgive any mistakes I may have overlooked! If I'm late a bit with updates that's why.


	22. Chapter 22

#  Chapter 22

 

“Rin?”

Makoto’s voice was barely a whisper and he had gone so pale that Haru quickly walked over, one hand going around Makoto’s waist from both the need to console and keep him up if necessary.

Rin looked up at them, eyes confused and Haru’s heart skipped a beat. He feared he had no idea how to handle things if they had gone wrong; he wasn’t sure there was a way to do so. Rin’s mother was the one remaining parent he had and though he often had to be reminded by Gou to call and keep in touch, he loved her dearly.

“What did she say?”

“What?”

“Your mother.” Haru repeated slowly, wondering if Rin was in shock.

“Oh.” Rin combed his fingers through his hair then shook his head. “She’d seen it, before I called. One of the neighbours brought the magazine over, to gloat I think, or something.” He waved his hands around and shrugged. “She ranted five minutes about how dare that woman even suggest there’s anything wrong with me and that my private business was my own.”

“So she doesn’t mind?” Makoto’s voice was stronger now, his own hand sneaking around Haru’s waist. Haru could feel Makoto leaning into him and he rubbed his cheek on Makoto’s shoulder, a small affection to show he was there for him.

“She said that she doesn’t really understand but that I’m her son so she’ll support me whatever the case before I even got a word in. My father, well, she said she could never stand to lose me over who I chose to love, life was hard enough as it is.” Haru thought those were good news and he could feel Makoto’s hand clench in his shirt, before his entire posture relaxed. “That’s good isn’t it?” He asked for both of them because he wasn’t sure what was troubling Rin so much if that was the case.

“Yes.” Rin nodded quickly then pursed his lips. “I told her right away of course that I’m not with you Haru but then…”

“What?” Makoto asked, sounding confused and Haru could relate.

“I didn’t know what else to say.”

“Eh?” Haru felt lost.

“I should have just told her there’s nothing to talk about, I like girls, right?” Rin rubbed the back of his neck and stared at his feet. “It’s just that…”

“Oh.” Haru finally understood and a second later he heard a soft noise from Makoto who also obviously got it.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong!” Rin started pacing the room. “It’s not that there’s anything wrong with that, you know I don’t think so.”

“It’s all right Rin, you don’t have to explain it to us.” Makoto tugged Haru over and they sat on the couch. “We can relate, remember? It’s not easy coming to terms with this.”

“It’s just so weird! I didn’t actually think about it, you know? I think about my swimming and training and making it to the Olympics! And now…” Rin rubbed his face with his hands, sighing.

“And now?” Haru raised his eyebrows because he had a feeling Rin was not telling them everything. Makoto was right of course, but on the other hand, there was something more here.

“It’s when I thought about it. I thought of Sousuke, all right?” Rin’s voice rose and he flung his hands in the air. “I can’t like Sousuke!”

He looked so desperate and there was a silence for a few moments before it was interrupted by Makoto’s giggle. He turned to look at him and had to suppress a smile of his own at Makoto’s horrified face.

“I’m so sorry!” He waved his hand at Rin, his face now contrite. “I was just so worried about what your mother might say and now she’s all right and your problem is that you might like Sousuke. I’m sorry, I know it’s not easy but it’s just…” He didn’t know how to finish and he let the sentence hang. Haru of course couldn’t very well betray Sousuke’s confidence and thought they were in a pretty pickle.

The feeling just intensified when Rin sighed. “It’s all right, I get it. But what am I going to do? I can never tell him!”

“What?” Makoto sounded confused and Haru fought hard not to roll his eyes. He was pretty sure he didn’t have the strength to endure months of those two pining for each other from afar but at the same time was at a loss on how to get Rin to simply confess.

“I can’t lose him Makoto. I just can’t.” It was exactly what Haru feared but Rin was now babbling, his arms flying, pacing the floor. “I care about him too much, we’re friends, best friends and I can’t jeopardize that.”

“Not even if the payoff may be more than you ever imagined?” Makoto asked, his voice serious.

“Eh?”

“Look, your mother is right. Sometimes horrible things happen and there is nothing we can do about it. But she had those years with your father and she had you and your sister thanks to that. If we don’t risk it sometimes Rin, we might lose out on the best thing in our lives. You know how my parents reacted but you know what? I’d never make a different choice, even if I could rewrite it all now. It’s worth it being with Haru.” Makoto shrugged. “Just think about your feelings for Sousuke in peace, let it all settle and then if you think that what you feel is true and strong, talk to him.”

Rin finally stood still, his hands on his hips, head down. “What if it ruins everything?”

“You know what kind of a person he is Rin.” Haru was sure he could help there. “You know he’d never be cruel or stop being your friend. Trust in him.”

“You’re right.” He sighed then plopped down on the couch next to Makoto, resting on Makoto’s shoulder. “I will think it over.”

Haru relaxed finally, hoping that this would be enough, and they just sat until Makoto giggled again.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He laughed fully then and shook his head. “Just thinking what that magazine would say now if they saw us. Nanase and Matsuoka in a trio?”

“A Makoto sandwich.” Haru added in a calm voice.

“You are the worst.” Rin groaned, then laughed. “I do love you both though.”

“We love you too Rin.” Makoto said, before swinging his arm around his shoulder. “Dinner?”

“You made me food. I truly do believe you love me!” They all laughed then got up and set the table before settling down and eating, avoiding the topic of Sousuke and just concentrating on small, silly things.

~~

Haru laid in bed, Makoto’s head pillowed on his chest, while he combed his fingers through Makoto’s hair.

They’d seen Rin out in much better spirits. He was determined to figure out his own feelings first and Haru thought that once he had, he’d probably act. At least he hoped because otherwise thing would get really awkward, fast. He was aware Makoto had been immensely relieved about the whole thing but then, as they were cleaning up, and got ready for bed later, he had also been quiet. Something had been on his mind and Haru got confirmation when he just settled carefully over Haru, embracing him fully, almost asking for comfort. Haru had had no intention of denying him, so they were just quietly lying there, Haru waiting for Makoto to talk if he wanted. He didn’t want to pry, not this time and had resolved to just be there for him, as long as it took.

Makoto sighed and tightened his arms, tucked around Haru’s sides which caused Haru to pause then start gently rubbing his back.

“I don’t know.”

Haru didn’t say anything, knowing it’s best to just let him get it out, whatever was troubling so much.

“I shouldn’t feel this way. I know it’s horrible but I just can’t help thinking. Why is it that his mother can accept him and mine cannot? Why can’t I have that? Why isn’t it me? It’s selfish and awful but I am so envious.” Makoto rubbed his face against his t-shirt, his voice breaking at the end there from anguish and tears, and Haru tightened his hold.

“It’s perfectly normal Makoto.”

“I shouldn’t feel this way.”

“You’re human.” He sighed then used the element of surprise to flip them over so that he could actually look at Makoto while talking to him. They could always read each other well and he wanted to make sure Makoto could also see there was no condemnation there, just understanding. His heart ached for him, he wished he could take all the hurt away.

“You’re human. You’re not a bad person, you’re just human. And none of us are perfect. It’s normal to feel like this. Wishing you could have what you should have, what any child should have, a parent’s support in this, is normal. You don’t wish Rin harm, or for him to be in your place.” He let his thumbs trace the tear tracks on Makoto’s face, careful to hold his gaze even if he found it hard. “You were happy for him, weren’t you?”

“Yes of course.” Makoto sniffed and blinked rapidly, tears pooling again. “Of course I was. I was so relieved when he said it was all right!”

“I know.” Haru kissed his cheek before continuing. “I know and he knows it too.”

“It’s like I’m feeling two opposite things.”

“Something we’ve all felt, at one time or another. Humans are messy.” He placed another soft kiss to his other cheek then smiled. “Welcome to humanity Makoto. We’re all a little messed up too, so we’ll take you.”

That got him a wobbly, watery smile so he brought their lips together in a slow caress.

“You’re a good man Makoto.”

“You’re biased.”

“No.” Haru smiled down at him, tracing the lines of Makoto’s face with his fingers. “I’m really not.”

~~

“So Nanase. When are we doing this?”

Haru blinked, trying to get water out of his eyes then stared at Hamasaki in silence. He had absolutely no idea what the other man was going on about.

“Oh honestly.” He poked Haru in the forehead. “Is your brain filled only with swimming? Swimming and Makoto that is.” Hamasaki sighed theatrically. “Did we or did we not agree to have a celebration this week?”

“Eh?”

“The Nationals Nanase. Our victories? Earth to Nanase.”

“Oh!” He had completely forgotten about it all and considering everything that had happened he didn’t think it was so outrageous. “Right. Friday?”

“Friday is good for me, I’m sure Nagisa is all right with it too. You want to talk to Yamazaki and Matsuoka?”

“Yes, no problem, I’ll text you as soon as I know anything.”

“Right.” Haru blinked again as Hamasaki slapped his back and walked off, leaving him standing by the pool. Then he remembered they didn’t actually cover the more important thing. “Hamasaki! Wait up!” He ran up to him and slapped his arm in return. “Where are we going though?”

“Ah. Yes, about that. Sorry, I forgot.” Hamasaki smiled sheepishly and Haru rolled his eyes. “There’s this nice, a bit upscale, place that Nagisa knows, so we thought there?”

“Sure, why not.”

“You do have something nice to wear, right? No club jacket allowed.”

Haru didn’t bother dignifying him with an answer so just ploughed on. “Text me the address please. Later!”

He quickly showered and dressed, only to be waylaid by Mizushima-san for a quick meeting, then caught the train home. The steady movement relaxed him and he thought of their night out. One thing was certain and that was that he had to find a way to get Makoto to wear that red sweater his mother had picked out. If they were going out, he wanted to have something nice to look at all night. Nice probably wasn’t quite the right word but it’d do.

The ride home went by in a flash and soon he was at their apartment, cooking. He realized they hadn’t yet decided when they’d bring over Makoto’s things. They had plenty of time but this weekend obviously wasn’t going to be it. That meant they’d have to do it over the next one. Deciding to talk about it with Makoto, he went back to chopping vegetables. By the time Makoto’s voice reached him, announcing his return, he was just putting the finishing touches to the meal.

“Oh Haru!”

“Welcome home.” He tilted his head up for a kiss and smiled when Makoto absentmindedly responded to it, before quickly turning his attention to the food. “It’ll be ready soon, I was late today as well. Go freshen up.” Makoto nodded then snagged a piece of tomato, with Haru tapping him with the spatula. “No stealing. Go.”

He snickered, thinking he could hear Makoto’s stomach complaining all the way from the bathroom and quickly set up the table. It was just the perfect time too because Makoto was back, sniffing exaggeratedly and moaning. “Feed me please. I’m about to expire.”

“You skipped lunch?” He frowned but Makoto shook his head. “No but we had that test after so I didn’t eat too much, just in case and then the whole thing was so taxing, I feel exhausted. My head is pounding. I am so taking a bath after dinner.”

“It went well?” Haru speared a piece of fish and raised his eyebrow. Makoto seemed quite relaxed, if tired, so it seemed safe enough to ask.

“Yes, gruelling but just fine. It was worth staying a bit later last night; that section popped up too. I just knew it might happen! I’m so glad I went over it.” He smiled then dug into the rice. “Good practice?”

“Yes, it was a good one.” He chewed slowly then glanced quickly at Makoto, who was apparently experiencing ecstasy by food. It seemed like a good opportunity to bring up their little celebration. “Hamasaki talked to me about that night out we agreed on.”

“Eh?” Makoto’s blissed out look almost made him smile but he managed to keep a straight face. He did lean over and wipe the rice off Makoto’s cheek with his thumb because it was too tempting otherwise. “Oh thank you!” A sheepish smile and then Makoto grinned. “The celebration! I had forgotten. Of course. What did he say?”

“He was thinking Friday.”

“Friday is good for me, but are we leaving the move for next weekend then?”

“Ah yes, actually I wanted to talk to you about that. We could maybe pack some things on Saturday and prepare them, and even over the week if happen to find the time and then yes, move it all next weekend. I don’t think there’s all that much to be honest. You’ve been slowly bringing things over.”

“My clothes for the summer, some leisure items, but yes, I think most is already here. Sounds like a plan.” Makoto nodded and smiled his special smile, the one he only had for Haru. “I will kind of be glad when we bring it all here and it’s official.”

Haru hummed his agreement, smiling back and they quickly finished their meal, Makoto getting seconds while Haru was still on his first serving. Of course, piling up twice as much at the start probably had something to do with it but he still pinched Makoto’s side, causing him to laugh.

“Hey.”

“Just checking.”

“Eh?”

“I may have to investigate further.”

“Eh?”

Haru just smiled and picked up the empty dishes. He was already in the kitchen when he heard Makoto choke on his water when he finally understood. It was so much fun winding him up like that. He was in the middle of washing the dishes when Makoto poked his head in and cleared his throat.

“I’m going to take that bath.”

“Hmm.” Haru smirked at him and Makoto blushed, quickly retreating. He truly wasn’t to blame, after all whenever he pushed like this, it got him nice results. Very nice. He hummed and finished, then wiped his hands on the kitchen towel. There was a show on television but muted about a woman being hypnotized in the middle of the studio and he rolled his eyes and flipped through the channels. Finding nothing, he turned it off then proceeded to the bedroom.

Opening the closet he scanned Makoto’s section and spotted the red peeking out and smiled. He drew one finger over the soft, thin material and sighed. This would do nicely. Turning over to his own side he frowned. A black suit would be nice, the new one his mother picked out, with maybe a white shirt. His eyes scanned over other possibilities, dismissing some and considering others, when he realized what he was doing.

_This is all my mother’s fault._

Honestly, he never used to think about these things. It was jeans, shirt, or his sportswear. But ever since she’d put into his head the idea of Makoto liking what he was wearing, he kept thinking about it. He couldn’t deny that he loved the reverse of it too, watching Makoto in something that showed him off.

He groaned, letting his head fall forward. Sighing, he was about to close the door, when Makoto’s hands wrapped around his waist, resting against Haru’s shoulder.

“What is it?” The smell of Makoto’s shampoo and bath gel tickled his senses, his big body enveloping Haru’s. He groaned again, but for another reason before he cleared his throat to answer the question.

“Just thinking about what to wear, the place is a bit nicer than our usual.”

“Oh?”

“I am fairly sure it was all Nagisa’s idea, and Hamasaki just went along with her.”

“Not like anyone can blame him. Plus, I’m sure we’ll have a nice time anyway.” Makoto dropped a kiss below his ear. “Now, what were you thinking?”

“The new black suit, with this shirt.” Haru threw a side glance at Makoto who was frowning at the closet then thought he might as well go for broke. “I was thinking maybe this for you.” He pointed at the cardigan and Makoto hummed. “I noticed you liked that one right away. But I was thinking more maybe this shirt.” He leaned forward and ran his hand down the sleeve of the one he had in mind. “I’ve rather liked it from the moment I got it.”

Haru tilted his head and thought about it. They’d be quite a striking pair like that. He smiled then turned around in Makoto’s embrace, running his hands down the strong muscles. “Hmmm. I think that’ll be good.” He stole a kiss then pulled back before Makoto could deepen it. Pressing his finger on Makoto’s lips when a small whine escaped them, he hummed. “I’m going to enjoy looking at you all night.”

“Haru!”

“I like looking at you.”

Makoto’s fingers wound in his hair and his mouth was being claimed in a kiss almost as soon as he ended the sentence. He opened up eagerly, his arms wounding around Makoto’s neck, feeling desire coursing through his body. When Makoto sucked on his tongue he helplessly moaned, his stomach muscles clenching.

“You do?”

Haru blinked at Makoto for a moment, his brain having short circuited, and tried remembering what it was that he said. “Oh! Yes.” He smiled and demanded another kiss, which was eagerly given, before allowing his hands to go lower and toy with Makoto’s towel. “Of course, and now about that inspection…”

Makoto laughed a happy, full belly laugh and quickly lifted him up. Haru squeaked, wrapping his legs around Makoto’s waist and then let himself be carried to the bed.

He intended to be very thorough. Of course, he wouldn’t mind if Makoto requested his own after Haru was done.

~~

Haru critically observed himself in the mirror then flicked the tiny white speck off his sleeve. Smoothing his hands down the jacket one more time, he nodded; he had chosen well. He’d switched out the white shirt for a pale lavender one, Makoto’s choice influencing him and now that he was seeing the end product he was satisfied. Not to mention that he was hoping they’d have a repeat performance of that night too.

They’d been terribly busy in the days to follow, both just eating and crashing before falling asleep, cuddled together. In fact, they’d taken a nap after arriving home that day, in order to be able to enjoy the night properly. He was looking forward to it and hopefully, what would follow.

“Ready?” Makoto’s voice sounded from the other room and he turned, intent on saying yes, when he got a good look at the man. He was wearing the deep purple shirt that subtly showed off his incredible body, sleeves rolled to just below his elbows, with a black tie and black, tight pants with a black belt. He was quite sure he actually stalked over before reaching up and yanking Makoto’s head down for a passionate kiss.

“I think I need to dress up more if this is what it gets me.” Makoto panted after, and Haru just nodded, eliciting a smile from Makoto, before he claimed another. “Haru, one more and I won’t be able to go out in a while.” Makoto fidgeted and Haru raised his eyebrows but complied. It was true of himself too, after all. He let himself be tugged over to the floor mirror and then watched as Makoto’s hands brushed down over his arms.

“You look so good Haru.” Makoto’s eyes were half hooded and Haru briefly weighed the idea of staying in versus going out but Makoto continued, interrupting his thoughts. “We look good together.” He blushed and Haru smiled then looked at them together, Makoto standing slightly behind him. His taller form, the deep colour of his shirt accentuating his eyes, framed Haru and his smaller body. They did look good together, complimenting each other. This weighed on the side of going out after all and just enjoying showing off Makoto.

“We do. All ready?” Makoto nodded and soon they were outside, waiting for Hamasaki. He had called them earlier and said he and Nagisa would come pick them up. Haru wasn’t sure why they’d do that as it wasn’t exactly on their way to the restaurant but just agreed. When a sleek grey car parked right in front of them, he paid it no mind, but then Nagisa’s laughing head popped out of the window. “Looking good guys, now get in.”

Makoto spluttered and looked confused at the car and Haru could just shrug. This wasn’t exactly what he expected but a ride was a ride so he tugged Makoto over and they piled in on the back seat.

“Hey.” Hamasaki smiled in the rear view mirror, then adjusted his glasses and drove off.

“Nice ride.” Makoto was looking around, and Haru understood him as it really was a nice car. He didn’t pay much attention to them but even he could see that. Nagisa turned around and nodded. “Father has good taste. In cars at least.”

“Nagisa.” Hamasaki cut her off but she grinned unrepentantly. “You know it’s the truth. Anyway, this restaurant is great, we’ve had dinner there a couple of times before with some of our family friends. Afterwards, I thought about going dancing.”

“Dancing?” Haru asked and she nodded enthusiastically. “We are celebrating after all and this club is simply amazing. Shiro took me there a while back and we had the best time.” Makoto shrugged next to him. “Why not?”

“That’s the spirit Tachibana! You only live once!” With that she turned back and fiddled with the radio before she found a pop station then sang along with the tunes all the way to the restaurant. Her brother kept complaining but he couldn’t resist joining in at one point. Her unbridled love of life was simply contagious.

“You told Matsuoka to go right in, since we’ve reserved the table?” Hamasaki asked as he steered the car to the garage. “Yes, no problem, he’s picking up Yamazaki first since his sense of direction is not the best. Just to be sure.” Nagisa snickered and Makoto scolded him but it wasn’t his fault, it was simply the truth. They filed out after Hamasaki killed the engine and then rode up in the elevator, chatting. They left their coats at the entrance then Hamasaki walked over to the maître d’. “Hamasaki, party of six.”

The man found their names and then greeted them, before leading them to their table.

“Shiro isn’t coming?” Makoto whispered to Nagisa, who shook her head. “No, but maybe he’ll join us later. He had to work.”

Haru realized he knew very little about him actually. He’d hung out with them most of the time but he was so quiet and Nagisa was so bubbly that he often got overlooked. Considering he couldn’t exactly boast with even truly remembering the man’s name, he supposed that not knowing much else wasn’t so odd. He ought to ask Makoto later.

Their table was next to the huge glass window and Makoto let Haru sit next to it, before seating himself. Nagisa and Hamasaki sat opposite them, leaving the other two places free for the stragglers. Makoto peered at the night, his eyes wide. “What a view!”

“Isn’t it just? I specifically asked we be seated next to a window, it’s an incredible view of Tokyo at night.” Hamasaki waved his hand and smiled, obviously pleased they liked the place. He leaned forward before whispering. “It’s not one of the really posh places but the food is simply divine!”

“We should bring your mother here next time. She loves French cuisine.” Makoto remarked and Haru nodded, while still perusing the menu. Nagisa looked at them and sighed. “You know, I said you two look nice but actually you look fabulous. And if I didn’t know you were a couple that colour coordination would have told me.” She smirked at them, making Makoto flush but Haru just politely thanked her.

At that moment Rin and Sousuke arrived, apologizing for keeping the others waiting. “You’re not late shark boy, we got here a bit early.” Rin grinned and engaged her in conversation before their waiter arrived wondering if they would like to order their entrees. They all settled on onion soup, Haru quite happy to try something made by a professional chef that he had attempted himself. He had been thoroughly through his French cookbook but hadn’t had the time to try much, so this was a fabulous chance.

“I love onion soup, Haru made it for us when his mother was visiting. It was delicious.”

“I didn’t know you cook Nanase.” Nagisa asked, genuinely interested if he could read her well enough so he nodded. “I love to cook but not enough time for anything except the standard meals. I got the chance just for a few occasions, but hopefully more in the future.”

“His cakes are to die for.” Rin interjected, with a dreamy look on his face and they all laughed softly. “You’ll see when you try one, just you wait. Makoto hordes it all.”

“Oi!” Makoto grinned. “I am not letting you have any next time.”

“Well now that these two are so enthusiastic, I admit I am curious Nanase. When can we try one of these?” Sousuke shifted in his chair to look towards Haru pointedly. He took a slow sip of his water first, considering, then realized he had a perfect solution to this and his previous thoughts of making one for him. “We’re moving Makoto in next weekend. Come give us a hand, it’s not that much, and I may make something for after we’re done.”

“Count me in.” Rin nodded forcefully and Haru saw Sousuke biting his lip not to laugh. “I can see you Sousuke, you know.” Rin waved a hand at him. “We’ll see who’s laughing after you taste it.”

“Well I’m persuaded. We can use the car too. It’ll take just a few trips that way.” Hamasaki raised his hand and his sister shook her head. “You’re so easy Akira.”

The waiter arrived with their soup and they were all busy for a few moments, trying the dish and enjoying. Haru was certain that eating with Makoto in public places was a hazard to his sanity. He concentrated on his own soup and enjoyed the subtle flavours.

“Haru, what are these exactly?” Rin was staring suspiciously at his spoon and Haru sighed. “They’re just croutons. Like toasted bread.” He clarified at Rin’s blank face before going back to his soup. “It’s quite good though.” Rin mumbled and everyone agreed. Even Haru had to, it truly was wonderfully made. It also made him eager to try the main course.

“Wait.” Nagisa suddenly said. “I just realized. Moving in?”

“Eh?”

“I mean you’re moving in together? It just registered with me. It’s great guys!”

“Oh, thank you.” Makoto blushed and Haru nodded.

Sousuke relaxed back, having finished with his soup and eyed them before smiling. “We are all happy for you. But you two, you fit together.”

“They’re married.” Rin added, which caused Hamasaki to choke on his soup and Nagisa to pound on his back, asking if he needed the Heimlich. Her brother rolled his eyes and grabbed a napkin, while Sousuke scolded Rin, Makoto blushed and Haru ignored the commotion and enjoyed the last of his soup.

“What do you mean married?”

“I’m sorry, are you all right?” Rin asked worriedly and Sousuke rolled his eyes, though with a fond look on his face. Haru thought only a blind person would miss how he felt about Rin and by what he could spy on Nagisa’s face she definitely wasn’t. “I meant they are already like an old married couple, they’ve known each other for ages and well, married. That they’re moving in together is definitely no surprise, in fact it’s overdo even.”

Makoto squeaked and Rin just waved his hand, dismissing him. “Makoto, don’t even bother.” Makoto opened his mouth but then his shoulders dropped and he shrugged. “It’s the truth.” Haru thought it important to add and received a fond look from Makoto over it. “See?” Rin pointed at them. “Married.”

“You are so cute.” She sighed, and Hamasaki groaned. “Well they are!”

The waiter saved them from having to answer and then left with the dishes and to give them time to decide on the main course. Haru didn’t need it because he’d already looked at the menu but a few minutes later Makoto leaned in, whispering. “Would you mind ordering for me? I have no idea what is good.”

“Of course I don’t mind.” He pressed back slightly to show it truly was fine when Rin’s voice reached them. “Um. Haru….” He grinned at him sheepishly and Haru just nodded. “I’ll do it, relax.”

Rin rubbed the back of his neck, blushing. “Thanks.” That earned him another fond look from Sousuke and Haru was grateful that Nagisa was focused on her own menu, because honestly. He thought they’d agreed he’d be subtle. Though considering this was Sousuke, it was subtle. Anything but a straight up confession was.

Their waiter finally returned and Haru ordered for the three of them, then the others did. He raised an eyebrow at Nagisa but she seemed to know what she wanted.

“Would you like something to drink with it?”

Hamasaki ordered white wine for Sousuke and his sister, keeping to sparkling water as he was driving but Haru thought of his choices and asked for a red Bordeaux. It’d go with all of their meals. Feeling Makoto’s eyes on himself, he lightly shrugged. Honestly, he just read up on the wines a little bit as he was curious what would be good to accompany some meals.

Their drinks arrived first and Hamasaki picked up his glass. “Any news you two?” He eyes Haru and then Rin and Haru laughed. “Yes, maybe.”

“Oh?” Makoto was now staring at him and he smiled. It wasn’t a bad moment, after all this was a celebration. “Mizushima-san told me the other day but it was confirmed today. I got my first sponsorship deal. Well, it’s yet to be finalized but there it is.”

“Haru!” exclaimed Makoto and then he got a sideways hug. “I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Congratulations. Rin?”

“Yeah, me too. I didn’t expect it! Mizushima-san said there’s a lot of interest in us. Apparently that show, that’s doing the filming at the club? They especially want interviews with the three of us.”

“Akira?”

“Yes, it’s true. It’s why I asked them. I’ve got mine too. Maybe now…” He trailed off and shrugged, his sister patting his hand. Haru didn’t know what that was about and didn’t want to pry. It was true about the show, he’d been told the same thing. In fact, Mizushima-san was quite clear he had to give an interview as apparently there was a lot of interest in him, in particular. He had sort of blanked out after that because while grateful for any support, he still didn’t quite grasp the whole idea of being known throughout the country.

“A toast then!” Nagisa said. “To our three champions! May their reign be long!”

They clicked glasses, Haru ducking his head, Rin grinning his biggest smile. Makoto’s hand suddenly landed on the small of his back and he was grateful for the support, and the happy smile sent his way.

Their food arrived finally, smelling wonderfully and Haru hoped he’d remember to thank Nagisa later for this suggestion. It truly was a good place to come and enjoy culinary delights.

“Haru?” Rin’s tentative question got him looking up. “What exactly did you order? It looks great.” He was eyeing the meat on his plate with a happy smile. “It is duck, Makoto has veal.” Makoto was inhaling the scent and smiling before he peeked at Haru’s plate.

“What is that? Exactly?” He looked doubtful and Rin’s face wasn’t much better.

“Better not to ask. Enjoy your meal everyone!” Makoto leaned in again and squinted. “Those are apples Haru.”

“Yes, I know.” He smiled and almost groaned when he sampled the first bite. He’d read about it and though it seemed like something that wouldn’t be to his taste, the intriguing idea of blending the flavours got him researching more. This was an opportunity he really couldn’t pass up to taste it as he was pretty certain it’d be difficult to make at home.

They’d had dessert later, Haru once again ordering for the other two, and once finished, he relaxed back on his chair, sipping his wine. Makoto pouted, the last of his cream puff gone too and patted his stomach. “I am looking forward to the dancing, once this settles a little bit. I can’t believe how full I feel!”

Sousuke who was busy stealing a bit of Rin’s yoghurt cake just nodded and Haru had to agree. While his almond cake had turned out to be equally delicious as everything else, he was bursting with energy and was already itching to move. Thanking Nagisa was a definite though, she had great taste and he thought he’d try and mine her for knowledge of other places. After all, she had suggested the café he and Makoto had gone to as well.

“Ah, this was great.” Nagisa sighed. “But I am looking forward to using up some of these calories too.” She sat up and lowered her voice before speaking next. “You two have nothing to worry about by the way, I’ve seen a gay couple or two there.” Haru was touched by her concern and offered his thanks. “I think you guys will love it, it’s filled with energy.”

“How are we getting there?”

Nagisa looked at Rin, frowning. “By car?”

“All of us?” He sounded sceptical and Haru had to agree. There was no way they could all fit into that car.

“Well.” She looked at them and shrugged. “You’ll have to squeeze in the back a bit.”

Hamasaki openly laughed at her. “You are going to sit in the back with Makoto, Haru and Rin, Sousuke gets the front seat.”

“We still can’t fit.” Rin sounded even more sceptical but Hamasaki was unconcerned. “Sure you can. She’ll just sit in your laps.”

“Akira!”

“There’s no other way! And I am not making two trips. You’re light as a feather. Use Tachibana, he’s gay, so it’s fine.”

“Akira!” She sounded even more scandalized and Makoto was blushing but he nodded. “I won’t mind.”

They all laughed and Haru decided that this was going to be messy. Funny but messy. He turned out to be correct when they actually did attempt this. In the end, Nagisa finished pretty much sprawled across all three of their laps, sitting on Makoto’s with her legs extended across the other two and it was still a tight fit.

“You are light as a feather Nagisa, don’t worry about anything.” Makoto tried adding a comforting thought when he saw her half bemused, half embarrassed face and she sighed, relaxing into his chest. “Well, at least this dress doesn’t wrinkle.”

Haru spent the drive over ignoring everyone else and studying her shoes. By the time they arrived, he was sure women possessed magical powers because there was no other way to walk, let alone apparently dance, in shoes with such a high heel. Simply not possible. He admired them more than ever for conquering those torture devices.

There was a line in front of the place but Nagisa simply walked over, motioned over to them and they all got allowed in. Makoto shrugged and that pretty much explained it all. It was Nagisa.

The wall of sound hit him as soon as they walked in. It definitely wasn’t what Makoto and he usually listened to when the radio was on but he couldn’t deny the beat was contagious. Another thing that was clear to him already was that he’d have to take a break at some point, if not more. Nagisa led the way after they checked in their coats, up the stairs and soon they were at one of the booths, grabbing a seat.  Makoto leaned on the nearby fence and motioned Haru over.

“It’s a sea. A turbulent sea.”

Haru looked below and saw that Makoto had it right. It was a sea of humanity, moving in rhythm with the music, almost like waves of a sea caught in a storm. He never thought he’d see a sight like that.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Nagisa yelled from his other side and he had to nod. It truly was. She was already moving to the beat and bumped him with his hip before waving to them and skipping off. Apparently she was ready to dive in. Makoto leaned in before speaking as close to his ear as possible, in order to be heard over the noise. “Rest a bit more?”

It could take some more time too for their meals to totally settle so he just nodded and motioned towards the other three men who were arguing over something. They raised their eyebrows and Rin flung his hands out. “He doesn’t dance!” Shaking his head at Sousuke, who was obviously the cause of his exasperation, and rolled his eyes.

Makoto shrugged at Sousuke. “I don’t really dance either but it is fun? Take a look, nobody pays any attention to anyone else.” Rin nodded eagerly. “He’s right, come on Sousuke.” Hamasaki looked at them then rose. “I’m going to get a drink, anything for you guys?” They decided on some sodas and Sousuke went with him, to help him out.

“Don’t press too hard Rin.” Haru said as soon as they were out of earshot.

“It’s just dancing.”

“He simply may not be comfortable with it. Give him time!” Makoto nodded and Rin sighed, almost throwing himself back against the seat. “You’re right. Where is Nagisa?” Makoto pointed down, towards the crowd and Rin laughed, rolling his eyes. “I’m not going to find her but at least I’ll get some of this energy out. I’ll be back!” He rose and was off too.

“Is he actually trying something?” Haru said, leaning close to Makoto, wanting to make sure not to be caught out by Sousuke’s return, because he didn’t need to overhear this conversation. “He seems on edge.”

“I am not sure. I think he’s testing ground. But he’s as subtle as a sledge hammer.” They smiled, Haru leaning into Makoto, Makoto’s hand coming around his shoulders to bring him even closer. “We can only hope it turns out all right.”

They let the music take over and just moved slightly with the beat when Sousuke and Hamasaki got back.

“Where’s Rin?” Sousuke asked and Makoto pointed down again. “Dancing. He is going to try and find Nagisa.” Sousuke frowned but just nodded and sat nursing his drink. Hamasaki talked to Haru about their sponsorship deals or at least tried to, and Makoto listened in. Rin returned, all sweaty but grinning and waved his hands. “This is awesome!” He grabbed his soda, gulping half of it and then plopping down. He pulled off his sweater, leaving him only in a tight, thin white v-neck. “It’s so hot. Lose the jacket Haru before you go, you’ll boil.”

Haru nodded and took it off right away, rolling up his sleeves a bit then pointed towards the dance floor. Makoto nodded but before he could get up, Haru grabbed his tie and loosened it, popping the few top buttons open. Grinning, he shooed him out of the booth then and Makoto could only comply. They held hands as they descended but nobody paid them any notice. In fact, Haru was pretty sure he’d spotted another gay couple there. Nagisa had been right, about everything.

The press of the bodies on the floor was incredible but much like Makoto said, it was a living mass of humanity that moved and made you move. They were pushed together and dancing soon enough, the rhythm contagious, making his hips move before he even had to think about it. He put his hands loosely around Makoto’s neck, feeling Makoto’s hands on his back, moving together.

_It truly is like the sea._

Everyone around him pushed and pulled, like the tides and the waves, forcing him close to Makoto, their bodies touching, the feeling different from what he was used to and he wondered if this is what swimming in tandem with Makoto would be like. It didn’t take long for him to get completely swept away and be aware of only Makoto and every place their bodies touched. Makoto’s hand swept up his back, and it was like it left a trail of liquid heat making him try and get even closer, staring into Makoto’s eyes.

He knew in that moment what Makoto was thinking. They were in public though so that would have to wait. He pulled on Makoto’s tie, then let his hand fall on Makoto’s hip before he closed his eyes and lost himself in the music again.

“Haru!” Makoto’s voice in his ear snapped him from almost trance-like state he’d gotten into and he blinked his eyes open and tilted his head in question. Taking the opportunity of it being hidden, Makoto quickly bent and gently bit his neck, causing Haru’s body to jerk, before asking him if they could take a break. Haru grabbed his hand and tugged, to show his agreement and soon Makoto was parting the way for them. At the top of the stairs they ran into Nagisa.

“Boys!” She yelled, and motioned them over. Standing with her were two girls and she introduced them as her friends from high school.

One of the girls leaned into Haru that he had to back off a bit to keep his space. “Nanase Haruka? The swimmer?” He nodded and she smiled a slow smile. “Dance with me?”

Makoto tensed next to him but Haru just blinked at her, raising his hand that was intertwined with Makoto’s. “All the hot boys are taken.” She laughed good-naturedly and shrugged. They waved and left to go back to the others, Nagisa arriving soon after them. Rin was still trying to cajole Sousuke into dancing and Haru was sure that one of them would break before the night was over. He just wasn’t sure which one. Or if there would be fireworks when they did. Maybe an explosion. Or two.

“We’re out of drinks, Makoto, I’ll go get us a couple, want something?”

Makoto’s body pressed into his from behind, his arm wrapping around Haru’s chest, his breath hot. “Don't.” Haru licked his lips and then patted his arm. “I’ll be quick, I promise.” That caused a proper growl from the man behind him but he pouted and Makoto let go. Haru wondered if he should push it a bit but then decided that being ravished on a table in the middle of a club is probably not the way to go, so he headed straight back as soon as he paid for theirs and Rin’s soda.

Rin and Makoto were engaged in a heated conversation, sitting a bit apart for privacy by the time he got back but he could feel Makoto’s eyes following him all the way, and as soon as they were done, he was being pulled down, closely tucked into Makoto’s side. He truly did not mind, after all, he was possessive himself. He looked towards Rin, asking a question, but Makoto just wrinkled his nose in answer. Rin was obviously going to follow through on whatever it was he wanted out of the night. They spent some time there, trying to have some small conversation with Hamasaki before going to the floor again and dancing.

He moved along with Makoto, who had his eyes closed and had obviously completely gotten engrossed in the music. Haru watched him carefully, the complete abandon on Makoto’s face enthralling him. They danced like that for a while before he spotted a girl right next to them looking Makoto over. He smiled and tightened his arms, thinking how they could all look, he was after all incredible but he was only Haru’s to touch. He smirked, feeling quite satisfied.

A while later all of his senses were being slightly overwhelmed. The music, the people, and most of all Makoto and his closeness and at one point, he had to call a halt and signal he needed a break. Makoto just followed and Nagisa explained there was a roof exit a bit further on, where people liked to relax for a while. Not even thinking about it, he tugged Makoto with him and it had not been hard to find.

Pushing the door open, they found themselves in the cool night air and Haru almost staggered. The much quieter night was like suddenly diving into cold water, cutting off the sound and the beat. At the same time, it was like waking up and after a few moments he happily sighed in relief.

“You all right?” They walked towards one of the corners, and Haru leaned on the railing. “Yes, I am now. It was just getting to be a little too much. It’s fine.”

He breathed in deeply, looking up at the night sky. Now that he was getting used to the sudden relative quiet, interrupted just by occasional traffic and the murmurs of the few people around them, he realized that he could actually still feel the tremors from the club below them in his feet. It was like a cornucopia of sound that would not be ignored even there.

Haru finally focused on Makoto and found him smiling. Lowering his head, he whispered loud enough just for Haru to hear, his hot breath tickling and arousing on Haru’s face. “You should see yourself when you dance Haru, all smooth and slick almost like a fish in water. The way your body moves with mine.” His hand teasingly brushed over Haru’s arm and Haru wondered if this would end up with a taxi being hailed when they heard a click of a photo taken and turned to see Nagisa smiling.

“You have to have this.” She sent it to Makoto’s phone, then shook her head at them. “You two should be illegal, it’s not fair to the rest of us.” She waved and joined her two friends, who they just then noticed and the three of them motioned they’d be going back now. Makoto waved and then checked his phone. His eyebrows rose and he blushed, then simply turned the screen so that Haru could see it.

Haru was leaning back, gazing up towards Makoto, who was bent over him and staring into his eyes, the desire obvious on both of their faces. One of his hands was on Makoto’s hip and at that moment he became conscious of it. His fingers flexed and he realized he was still holding onto him there. Returning his focus back to the image, he noticed just how complimentary they were, with Makoto’s larger, darker frame, against his smaller one, his shirt a clear focus in its almost vivid brightness.

“She’s right.” Makoto’s hoarse voice reached him and he could only agree. It was a stunning photo, which made him wonder if they could print this out and put it in an album or maybe even somewhere in their bedroom. His eyes locked with Makoto and then he leaned forward, leaning against him. They stood that way for a while, just being, Makoto’s fingers combing through Haru’s hair before they returned inside.

Nagisa was leaning on the railing and waving them over enthusiastically. Pointing at the dance floor, she grinned and Haru didn’t understand what was so important until he realized both Rin and Sousuke were missing. He quickly walked over to join her, Makoto following. “Did they actually go dancing?” She nodded and he laughed. “I guess Rin wins.” Makoto said and Haru sure hoped it would turn out fine. He threw his arm over Makoto’s waist and jerked his chin towards the dance floor. “Let’s dance. Nagisa? Join us?” She whooped and threw herself in his arms then tugged at them both. Hamasaki joined them, Makoto was laughing and soon they were just mindlessly jumping to the beat, grinning.

Haru had no idea how after a while Sousuke and Rin found them but he was pretty sure he would never forget the six of them losing themselves to the joy of music and the simple feeling of being young and happy, that one perfect moment of life forever trapped in time.

~~

His eyes closed, head slightly tilted forward, Makoto held Haru’s hand while they stood on the curve and waited for Hamasaki to bring over the car. Nagisa had gone with him, and Sousuke and Rin were standing a bit apart, quiet. He felt strange, almost overflowing with emotion. Never had he imagined his life would turn out like this when he had boarded that plane heading to Tokyo so many months ago but he was now filled with happiness and joy and there was an energy buzzing in his body, the feeling that the whole world was open and only waiting to be experienced.

The man standing next to him, connected to him by a simple hand hold, he was the reason for so much of it.

He was also going to drive him insane.

Ever since they left the house, he’d been on edge and the more time passed, the more he was drawn to him, like a moth to fire. Haru made him burn, a flame brighter than the sun and he couldn’t wait to get him home. The way they danced, the connection through music and the touches of their bodies had slowly but surely been upping the desire he’d felt and now he just wanted to touch, taste, consume.

Makoto was sure that he was going to frame that photo Nagisa took.

“Makoto, Haru.” Rin drew him out of his mussing and he turned. “We’re going to take a cab.”

“But the car will be right over.”

“No, it’s fine.” He was about to say something else, when Haru squeezed his hand and he looked properly at them. Sousuke had apparently decided to make a study of the way his shoes looked and Rin was rubbing his neck awkwardly. _Well, isn’t this an interesting development. I guess dancing was a success._ He almost sniggered but managed to hold it in and nodded.

“Please say thanks to Hamasaki and Nagisa will you, I’ll call them tomorrow too.” They hugged their goodbyes and soon waved them off. It didn’t take long before Hamasaki’s car arrived and the two of them got in the back seat.

“Where is shark boy? And his … whatever.” Nagisa asked and Makoto saw Haru trying not to laugh. Honestly, she was quite observant. Clearing his throat, the waved his hand and shrugged. “They took a cab, thanked you for everything. Rin said he’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Hmm.” She hummed, her eyebrows raised then just smiled before relaxing in her seat. “It was a good night.”

“It was a great night.” Hamasaki thumped the wheel with one of his hands and Makoto had to remind himself that all was well and he hadn’t drunk anything that night. He was probably just drunk on life, like they all were. “It was, wasn’t it? We have to do this again, this summer when we return from the contests.”

“Ooh yes, he’s got it!” Nagisa exclaimed enthusiastically. “Clubbing in the open air is always the best.”

“Open air?” Haru asked.

“Not here of course, but we’d drive to one of the resorts. They have clubs in the open, it’s amazing. You’ll see.” They agreed to try and make it work, Nagisa promising to keep it in mind because they’d probably be swamped soon. The drive home passed quickly and soon they were waving the siblings off, Nagisa’s long hair being swept by the wind, as she had stuck her head through the open window, waving herself.

As they disappeared from view, Makoto grabbed Haru’s hand and tugged. He didn’t feel the need to talk, he just wanted to lock the door behind them and indulge. The elevator ride never seemed as long as just then, Haru staring at him with his eyes peeking through his hair. His hands itched from the need that was coursing through his body and he realized he was on his last reserves by the time Haru searched his pockets to get them inside their home.

The door had barely closed behind them, when he pressed Haru into the wall and claimed a kiss. In the distance he could hear the sound of keys falling to the tiles but all he cared about was finally being able to do what he had wanted for hours. His tongue thrust into Haru’s open mouth, and they both moaned when it met Haru’s. Makoto couldn’t get enough of the taste and only the need for air forced him to break the kiss. Panting, he looked at Haru, whose hair was wild from one of Makoto’s hands that gripped him there and he felt Haru’s hands on his hips. The coats had to go, so he tugged at them and they managed to get rid of them, and their shoes, in record time.

Claiming another heated kiss, he tugged Haru into the living room, almost stumbling in his eagerness. Haru was the one who stopped them then, head tilting up, his hands scraping Makoto’s back and he brought their lips back together, body moulding to Haru’s. His hand roamed Haru’s back, the other firmly entrenched in his hair, pressing them together even more closely. When Haru sucked his tongue his hips pressed forward and he moaned, every nerve is his body firing.

Haru tugged at his hand, breaking the kiss, and started walking towards the bedroom but Makoto tugged back, stopping him. He had other plans.

He’d had other plans ever since the night had started.

That photo, that glorious photo, had only set his imagination even more on fire and he wanted to see.

He wanted to see them.

He shook his head at Haru’s inquisitive look and pushed him gently towards the floor length mirror. Standing behind Haru, he took the opportunity to nip and suck on his neck for a few moments, Haru’s head falling back for better access, his hand flying into Makoto’s hair. He looked at the two of them and shuddered.

“Makoto?” Haru’s gaze met his in the mirror and Makoto had to ask. “All right?”

He could see Haru was thinking it over then smiled that small smile of his. “Yes. I’d like that.”

There was no more need for questions. He threw a glance at the window, just to check if the curtains were drawn. There was some street light coming through them anyway but they were protected. It was probably paranoid but he wanted them to have their privacy assured. Another nip and he hurried away to the bedroom and rummaged for a while before he found what he had picked up one day online, when the vague beginnings of this idea had stirred in his mind. He returned to find Haru still standing exactly as he had left him, his eyes in the mirror following Makoto’s movements.

The idea that he had stood there, waiting, sent a surge of arousal into his belly, his muscles clenching and he quickly got the lamp lit then threw over the gauzy golden cloth he had just retrieved. Just as it had sparked to life, the light was as suddenly muted out, the golden hues lending a warm tone to Haru’s skin. He walked back to him, his hands going around Haru’s stomach. Craning his neck a bit, lifting his chin Haru simply demanded and Makoto answered, their lips meeting again, just as if they weren’t interrupted. Makoto’s hand inched up, scraping over one of Haru’s nipples, making him push back into Makoto and then forwards again. He worked the hard nub until Haru whined, his hand flying into Makoto’s hair. Their kiss ended, Haru panting and the back of his head landing on Makoto’s shoulder.

Watching him move in the mirror was quite a sight, it was like he was both detached and not, adding a tantalizing note to the night. He latched on to Haru’s neck, leaving small kisses and nips in-between them, until he lifted his gaze to watch them again, before biting down hard where the shoulder met the neck and twisting Haru’s nipple. His body jerked in Makoto’s arms and he could see his hips twich forward, as if to meet an invisible partner.

Moving back, he caught both of Haru’s hands and then moved them to the first closed button of Haru’s shirt. “Open for me,” he murmured directly into Haru’s ear, causing shivers and then watched as Haru popped open one by one slowly, revealing tantalizing glimpses of his skin. He allowed his hands to fall down once he was done, a challenging look sent Makoto’s way so he nipped at his neck again in reply, and slowly got the shirt off Haru’s shoulders. It fell onto the floor and he kicked it away, not bothering one bit about it just then.

His hand found their way back to Haru’s stomach, sculpting the muscles there, his forefinger dipping into Haru’s navel, playing with it while the other hand shifted to the neglected nipple and gave it a gentle tweak. Haru’s harsh breaths could be clearly heard in the otherwise completely silent apartment and Makoto thought how incredibly arousing he found the combination of image, sound and the touch. He licked his lips unconsciously but Haru groaned now, as he was watching Makoto’s movements with absolute focus in the mirror before he lifted his hand again and pulled Makoto down into another kiss.

He broke it then almost growled. “Shirt off. Now.” Makoto just kissed him again, pinching his nipple and Haru groaned before tugging on his hair. He wouldn’t be budged though and let himself indulge first before pulling back and stepping a bit to the side so that Haru could watch him undress in the mirror. He didn’t stop but instead simply went for his belt, his lover’s eyes carefully following his every movement. Pulling down his pants he briefly questioned why he wasn’t feeling at least a little bit self-conscious about this but then he saw how Haru’s breathing was speeding up, his eyes hooded now, pupils dilated, the evidence of his own arousal quite clear and he knew that was why. He was wanted and admired, and there was nothing more to it.

When he was done, he looked up and watched the picture they made. Completely naked, he stood in sharp contrast to a still semi-dressed Haru but the difference was almost titillating. His hands went to Haru’s belt, and then paused there, teasing a bit before finally opening it. He took no time afterwards, popping the button open, pulling down the zipper, then he hooked his fingers into Haru’s briefs and carefully slid it all down his legs. Stepping out of them, Haru moved so that Makoto who was kneeling now, could get them off. His socks followed and then Makoto’s hands rested on Haru’s calves. He looked up and saw he was at perfect height so grinned and licked one of the pert globes before biting down gently.

“Makoto.” Haru gasped and Makoto licked the bite mark again, before blowing air on the wet spot, Haru’s skin suddenly breaking out in goose bumps. He rose to his feet then, hands landing on Haru’s hips that twitched forward.

He watched them standing like that, side by side, Haru’s arousal apparent, a light layer of perspiration covering his body now evident, and Makoto couldn’t resist pressing into his arse slowly, moving his own hips a couple of times before stopping. Their gazes locked again and he whispered, right next to Haru’s ear.

“Show me.”

Makoto wasn’t sure if Haru didn’t understand or was thinking it over but he waited to see if he’d ask something. Instead one of his hands twitched, curling into a fist and then it moved forward.

He groaned when Haru took himself in hand, the sound reverberating in the room, but the image was even more erotic than he had anticipated. And he had imagined it, so many times.

Haru’s hand lazily pumped his erection, his thumb swiping over the head every few moves, before his hand tightened, speeding up, and he moaned. The sound went straight into Makoto’s groin and his hands clenched before he hurriedly loosened them, not wanting to leave bruises. Deciding that he’d up the stakes he let go with one and then caressed all that glorious skin on display before going back to the hard nubs that were Haru’s nipples and tormenting him with little tweaks and pinches. Haru’s hand sped up even more, his head again resting on Makoto’s shoulder but his eyes, though only half open, stayed firmly fixed on the image of the two of them together.

Sucking in one of Haru’s earlobes into his mouth, he licked it with his tongue then nipped before tugging gently. “Let go now.” He did, immediately, and Makoto’s hand replaced it. Haru’s arse pushed back and Makoto groaned, his own hips moving, finding some much needed friction. He pumped lazily, then faster and faster, his hand repeating Haru’s previous motions, thumb swiping the head. Haru’s hips were not still either, their bodies moving in rhythm, and Makoto could swear he could hear that base thumping in his mind again, just like it had earlier in the night. Their loud breaths and occasional groans mingled, adding a note of urgency ever so often and Makoto’s world narrowed down to just the two of them and that image in the mirror.

Long, sleek bodies, firmly pressed together, moving. Muscles clenching. His hand around Haru’s cock, moving steadily. Haru’s head on his shoulder, his hair wild, eyes filled with desire, holding Makoto’s own, then being drawn downwards.

Makoto wished he had the courage to take a photo of them like this but nevertheless knew that he would never forget it anyway. It was the most erotic thing they had done and he thrilled and gloried in every second of it.

Surprising him into stopping Haru suddenly shifted a bit and Makoto reflexively responded, aligning his cock with Haru’s cleft. He bit Haru’s shoulder, unable to stop himself, his hips pressing forward. Haru pushed back, exclaiming in ecstasy, his hand flying into Makoto’s hair, fingers gripping. Makoto's hips bucked in answer and they both groaned then.

“Makoto.”

He understood what he was being asked and he looked up, watching Haru in the mirror, the movement of his arm actually opening him up for Makoto’s delectation. He let go of Haru and gently pressed on his jaw to turn his head back, initiating a long, slow kiss before sighing. “No. Not now. I want you too much.” Haru obviously thought about protesting but he nodded anyway. Makoto sighed before kissing him again. “I want to. But I don’t think I could hold myself back now and I want to take our time with that.” It was the truth too. It wasn’t that he couldn’t already see them in his mind eye. Haru on his knees, Makoto behind him, both sweaty and in throes of ecstasy. Just the idea of it, of being joined with Haru that way was almost enough to send him over the edge but that was exactly the problem. He was already too close, going slow would be an issue and he’d never want to hurt the one he loved so much. There would be only pleasure for them. “I’m never going to hurt you.”

Haru surged into a kiss, their tongues tangling, circling, both completely lost in each other. Makoto grasped Haru’s cock again, pumping hard and gasping, Haru broke the kiss. Their eyes met in the mirror again, heated looks but the love in them also so very obvious.

“You are so beautiful.”

Not being able to resist any longer, Makoto moved again and was joined by Haru. Their bodies as always easily sinking into a perfect rhythm and together they watched as they gradually rose to their peaks.

When Haru spilled all over Makoto’s hand, his hips stuttering but eyes stubbornly refusing to close, Makoto could not hold himself back any longer either and followed him into orgasm.

Regaining their breaths took some time, and Makoto had to make sure to lock his knees lest he simply become a puddle on the floor but not once did they stop looking at each other, eyes locked, conveying all the emotion behind all that they had shared.

_It isn’t a great night. It’s an amazing night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, bless you RinRin. They're not at the goal yet but they've finally moved.
> 
> I totally did actually spend an hour figuring out what these three might eat at that restaurant. Makoto had Blanquette de Veau (a veal ragout), Rin Magret de Canard, or a duck breast and Haru embarked on an adventure called Boudin Noir Aux Pommes, blood sausage with baked apples. It’s truly fab actually. A red Bordeaux does go with all three dishes. Anyhow, don't judge, it's food, I can't resist XD  
> Hope you had fun with this one!


	23. Chapter 23

#  Chapter 23

 

Makoto blinked and opened his eyes.

It was early morning, he could tell by the still dim light. He stretched, yawning and smiled. They were still naked, cuddled under the covers and he could feel the slide of the sheets on his skin, luxuriating in the softness.

The smell of Haru’s skin reminded him of the night before, and unable to resist, he left a soft kiss on the nape of his neck. What an incredible night it had been. His face was heating up and he was blushing all right, when he thought of what he did, and said, but it had been vastly out of his experience, intoxicating. They had showered after, still sharing small touches and then had simply fallen into exhausted sleep. He had expected he’d sleep longer but his body was used to the days when he’d have to rush off to University.

There was no rushing required now and he wondered how much Haru would mind if he woke him up. It was just that he could almost sense traces of yesterday all over his skin and deep inside, like another lock had been opened inside of him and he couldn’t just stop the need he felt. He had been so free last night, dancing with Haru, enjoying the music, nobody bothering them, and it all ending together with their friends, that he had been so full of life. Happy.

_We are so going dancing again._

He almost laughed at his own enthusiasm, then figured if he didn’t try, he’d definitely achieve nothing. Rolling Haru on his back wasn’t that difficult, he was a pretty heavy sleeper, so he accomplished that and then threw away the covers. His skin broke out in goose bumps in the chilly morning air but it was also good, a contrast to the heat inside of him.

That gorgeous expanse of skin in front of him made his mouth water and he contemplated where to start. Haru’s nipples were always a good bet but he wanted to be adventurous and bold, so he skipped it all and wiggled down. Taking Haru’s cock in hand, he pumped it slowly a few times, watched it starting to harden. A small moan escaped Haru’s lips but he was obviously still mostly asleep. Makoto grinned then dipped his head and took in as much as he could, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking, before twirling his tongue around the head and repeating. Haru whimpered and moved, so Makoto gripped his hips with his other hand to keep him still. He bobbed his head up and down and Haru’s fingers suddenly tangled in his hair.

“Makoto.” A growly voice came from above and he lifted his head a bit to see Haru watching him with sleepy eyes. “Good morning.”

“What a way to say that.” Haru mumbled, his hips twitching and Makoto took it as a cue to resume his wake up call. Soon Haru’s legs parted even more, bending at the knees and he could feel constant tremors under his arm. He poked the slit with his tongue, tasting the precum already there and then swiped that spot on the underside. Haru moaned and Makoto took the opportunity to circle his hole, pressing gently. He was moving on the bed himself because at that point friction was a must.

“Makoto!”

He knew exactly what that tone meant and after a few more licks, he lifted off Haru’s cock, and crawled up only to be embraced eagerly, Haru’s hands settling around his shoulders, mouth already open, waiting to be kissed. It was Makoto’s turn to groan as their mouths met and cocks slid together at the same time. His entire body was pulsing in desire and he couldn’t keep his hips still. His movements were met by Haru’s, who was equally as eager, his legs suddenly wrapping around Makoto.

Tearing his lips away, Makoto gulped for air, feeling like he couldn’t get enough, before Haru pulled him down again, seeking another kiss. Their bodies moved in a faster and faster rhythm and finally Makoto sneaked a hand in between their bodies, grasping them both. It only took a few moments and they both reached their orgasms. Haru’s legs thumped on the bed, and he sprawled under Makoto, his arms still keeping him close.

Makoto finally summoned enough energy to look at him and Haru blinked, then smiled.

“Good morning to you too.”

They smiled at each other and exchanged a few more lazy kisses, before Haru slapped his arse.

“Hey!”

“Since you’ve woken me at eight in the morning, never mind we fell asleep around four, let’s shower and go to your old place right away after breakfast.”

“Eh?”

“I was thinking,” here Haru paused and claimed another kiss, “let’s do as much as we can, then go out, have lunch. Maybe go someplace.”

Makoto rubbed his nose over Haru’s, then nodded. “Any particular place in mind?”

“Secret.”

“All right.” He sighed theatrically, knowing that when Haru got like this, he never revealed anything before he was ready but deep inside him he was thrilled when Haru made plans for them and discovered new places, or new food he thought Makoto would like. He got on his feet, trying to ignore the squelching sound that made Haru laugh and then they padded into the bathroom together.

He couldn’t wait to see what Haru had planned.

~~

Staring at the clothes he still had in his old closet he scratched his chin and wondered how to go about this. Haru’s arms encircled him from behind, his head popping up next to Makoto’s shoulder.

“Problem?”

“Not sure where to start.”

“You don’t need most of this now, right?”

“No, there’re some spring things I’ll start using soon but not most of it.”

“Then who cares. We’ll pack it up in the few boxes and just throw everything in the wash as we get the time. If it gets wrinkly or dirty now, it doesn’t matter.”

Makoto nodded his head and they were on their way. He’d bought a whole set of boxes that were easy to assemble a few days earlier and they’d brought that over with them. It was quick work to get them ready so now they just packed without any order, filling them up.

“What are those?”

“Ah.” He sighed and set on the bed, Haru joining him after a few moments, looking at the stacked parcels at the bottom of the wardrobe, all but one unopened. “Well, after we got back that time,” and he didn’t have to say which, Haru understood, “I got those delivered, not too long after. She had packed up my room apparently.” He shrugged, the pain slightly less than it had been when he had opened the parcels after he had lugged them home. At first he hadn’t actually comprehended what he was holding when he drew out one of his childhood mementos so when he had, he had just left most of it unopened. He couldn’t have faced it at the time. Now, it was just something to take to their new home to try and reclaim the joy they had brought him as he grew up.

“Oh Makoto.” Haru’s chin landed on his shoulder, his arms embraced him and Makoto smiled sadly at him.

“I couldn’t talk about it at the time. It hurt too much.” Haru kissed his cheek, and warmth bloomed in his heart. He had his family right there. “It’s different now. Though they still remind me of what I lost, I suspect in some way they always will, they will also bring old joy to our home.”

Silence reigned for a while, until Haru laughed. “Is that what I think it is?”

“We’re not talking about that.”

“But we had so much fun that day!”

And though they were supposed to be packing, they unpacked all of those items one by one, Makoto, or both of them recalling stories of how he got them and how they played, and they laughed thinking of the wonderful times they had as children. Simpler, easier times. Makoto's eyes were wet at least on several occasions, but Haru never commented and just continued unpacking.

He finally understood why when Haru carefully started putting it all into the new boxes, taking care to pad the items properly if necessary, and then finally took all the leftover wrapping his parents had used, and threw it into the trash. It was such a small thing but Makoto just held him then and hoped that Haru understood.

_But he always does. He always does._

Haru’s strong arms held him and he felt safe and loved.

They got back to packing after that and before he knew it, Makoto was slowly taking down one of his favourite things in the world, the triptych Haru made for his birthday. He carefully wrapped it in cloth he had brought over just for it, before securing it with tape. This was the one thing he wanted to be sure was carried over with the greatest care.

“We can take it with us today, after we’re done.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that. Yes, that would be great, I don’t want it to get bumped around or damaged, if it is with other things.” He nodded decisively then laid it carefully on the bed, to wait for them. He surveyed the rest and it was mostly done. His dolphin plush had long since been transferred which meant that the sheets on the bed were the last items from the bedroom.

His books went next, though those were few, and by the time lunch time arrived they were truly finished.

“Huh.” Haru surveyed the now almost empty apartment.

“I think I overestimated the amount of things that I had left here.”

“Not that surprising and great news too. I think two trips next weekend is all it’s going to take, considering Hamasaki’s bringing that car of his. It also means we don’t have to come back before that.”

“Thank goodness.” Makoto brushed a speck of dust from Haru’s cheek then sneezed. “I need another shower. It’s incredible how dust accumulates. Once we take these, all that’s left is to clean up it up a bit and we’re done.”

“I am so glad.”

Makoto turned to say that he was too but then caught Haru’s eyes and realized that Haru also meant it as them finally, truly, beginning this stage of their lives, with Makoto letting go of this apartment. He had had no intention of going back, they functioned as a couple quite well, and yet it had always been there, present. Now it was time to let it go and he could only nod, fully agreeing.

They got dressed and Makoto cautiously handled his painting, while Haru carried a bag they had also agreed to take with them now. It was light enough, just some clothes, and they made their way home.

~~

“Lunch first.”

Haru stood in front of him, straightening his shirt and Makoto nodded. They’d showered quickly, carefully put away the painting to hang up later, and then gotten dressed. Makoto chose a light white shirt, before pulling out the red v-neck Haru had wanted him to wear yesterday. _It’s burgundy, not red_ , Haru’s voice inside his head supplied and he had to bite the inside of his cheek not to laugh at the absurdity of it. The way Haru kept petting him, ever since he had put it on, meant he really must like the way it looked on him. He had so made the right choice.

On the other hand, he understood perfectly, because that dove grey of Haru’s own sweater was doing strange things to Haru’s eyes. They almost reminded him of the sky before the storm, both dangerous and beautiful. Makoto cleared his throat and cupped Haru’s face with both of his hands, tilting his head up for a short kiss, before he let go and nodded.

Once they had left the apartment Haru led the way, just like before, checking his phone occasionally. Makoto happily allowed himself to be tugged along, enjoying the spring air and the sun shining. Ending up in restaurant surrounded by budding greenery was not something he had expected but he approved. It was getting hot, so though they were seated outside, they removed their coats. Makoto relaxed back in his chair, head tilted up, allowing the sun rays to warm him and sighed happily.

“I’m so glad the weather’s getting so nice!”

He looked at Haru who seemed to be focused on him and raised his eyebrows in question.

“What? Oh yes, it’s lovely weather.”

Makoto blinked at the almost absentminded reply, wondering what was going through Haru’s mind but unexpectedly got an answer to that anyway.

“I do enjoy looking at you more though.”

He flushed but surprisingly so, didn’t feel as embarrassed as he usually did. It wasn’t that he was getting used to Haru suddenly confessing such things to him, it was that somehow he was able to enjoy them more fully. What changed, he didn’t quite know, but he liked it nonetheless.

Smiling in thanks, he leaned forward and took one of Haru’s hands, squeezing it before letting go and taking his menu. They ordered quickly, with a glass of wine for each of them. That he was truly coming to enjoy drinking wine was a surprise, but a welcome one, and the idea of picking up some to always have at home for when they fancied it appealed to him.

“What do you think happened with Rin and Sousuke?” Makoto asked, once first hunger had been assuaged. He peered at Haru over his glass and got a shrug that pretty much said it all. “I know but I can’t help but be curious!” Laughing softly, he shrugged. “That must have been some dance.”

Haru snorted, then picked up his own glass, raising it and Makoto clinked them together in silent toast to dancing.

“I’d have thought he’d send me a text or something but nothing.” Laughing, Haru picked up his bowl again. “Rin seems the type.”

“Maybe they just talked.”

“Or did another kind of talking.”

“Oh I hope not! That came out wrong.” He shook his head and tried again. “I mean I hope they talked too, just jumping into everything seems wrong. Rin is going to have to spell it out first, if he wants no misunderstandings.”

“Considering who it is, something went wrong at least once or twice. Hopefully though it worked out and they’re too busy so Rin can’t send his million and one text.” Haru smirked again, making Makoto cough.

“Of course, knowing those too, maybe nothing at all happened.” His words just made Haru sigh and nod mournfully.

They finished soon enough and Makoto declined dessert, surprising Haru, if he were to judge by the raised eyebrow but the day wasn’t finished and he wanted ice-cream later. When he explained, it got him a fond look and he promised he’d share if Haru actually told him where they were going next. Unfortunately for him, it didn’t work and they moved on once they paid the bill.

When they ended up on the JR Keiyo line Makoto laughed.

“Of course. I’m surprised we didn’t end up here sooner.”

“The weather’s perfect now though. We can take a walk in the park after.”

That did sound wonderful so he readily agreed. It was a short ride and then they were at the Kasai Rinkai Park, home to Kasai Rinkai Suizokuen. Makoto squeezed Haru’s hand when he saw the excitement on his face because he knew how much Haru would love the aquarium but partially also to make sure he didn’t actually break into a run. It wasn’t going anywhere and they had a good three hours left till it closed. The big dome shone in the sunlight and Makoto was suddenly excited as well. They paid the entrance fees, then walked at a brisk pace towards the main building.

By the time they got to the bottom of it they had enjoyed themselves thoroughly. He had had to tug Haru away from one only to repeat the process at another tank, not to mention he had to keep an eye on any clothes potentially being taken off but luckily Haru seemed inclined to watch only that day. The fish were incredible enough, he had to admit that himself but at least as much time he’d spent just watching Haru. He had an enraptured look on his face throughout their stroll, making Makoto wonder if in his head, he was swimming with them somewhere. After all there was nothing like sea and oceans to Haru.

“I want to live here.”

Makoto laughed and slung a hand over Haru’s shoulder, Haru’s own automatically going around his waist though his eyes continued to roam the large donut-shaped tank.

“We can visit more often if you like.”

Haru sighed and leaned into Makoto, staring at the swimming fish and shark. It was darker there, to simulate the environment but at the same time, quite restful. They watched them in silence but neither minded.

“Did you ever think about marine biology?” Makoto asked after a while.

“Hmm?”

“After you’re done with swimming. It’d keep you in touch with the sea.”

“It would be years in the future.” Haru sounded puzzled and Makoto shrugged. “Even if you end up going for two Olympics, you’d still only be in your late twenties. No reason not to go to University then.”

“I don’t know, I’ve only ever thought about swimming. I am not sure I can see myself as a coach though.”

“Well, there’s plenty of time and maybe it will be something you can try too, to see if it fits.” Makoto understood though where Haru was coming from but at the same time, he truly wondered if that was the truth. With proper education, combined with his instincts he would probably be great. Apart from the small problem of him not being a people person. He was right though and there was plenty of time to think it over.

“Nanase-san?” A female voice interrupted them and they turned to see two girls in their teens, shyly smiling at them.

“Yes.”

“We are so sorry for interrupting but we figured it might be you. We saw you at the Japanese Nationals. Congratulations on your victories. We were wondering though, might we have your autograph?” They thrust pens and papers at Haru, who blinked rapidly in their direction.

Makoto barely managed to keep in his laughter at Haru’s dumbfounded expression. After a few moments of awkward silence, he squeezed his shoulder and mumbled his name.

“Oh right. Yes, of course. And thank you.” He hastily scrawled his name on the papers they had offered, and they thanked him again, before excusing themselves.

“Haru?”

He got a shake of the head, and Haru leaning into him again, so they watched the fish some more, not talking. Wanting to see the penguins too they moved on eventually to their exhibition and laughed at their antics. _Beautiful animals_ , Makoto thought, watching their glossy coats. It was apparent they were well taken care of.

Before they knew it, they’d spent over two hours there so finally left the aquarium, Makoto picking up gelatos for both of them once they got outside. He hadn’t wanted to share his, stating that Haru had refused to tell him where they were going after all, so he had to endure Haru’s pouting over having to get one for himself. It didn’t have the effect Haru wanted because though it made Makoto think he was beyond adorable, he was so eating the whole of his own sweet.

“Now where?”

“A walk through the gardens then maybe onto one of the beaches?” Haru asked while finally enjoying his treat and Makoto could only grab his hand in agreement.

They spent some time roaming through the gardens, their faces often upturned, the sunrays keeping them warm and making them smile. Makoto was sure he could almost feel all the greenery around them doing the very same thing, waking up from the deep winter sleep. It was one of his favourite times of the year for that very reason, the sense of birth and renewal.

Haru smiled and pointed to his left and Makoto spotted what he had seen. An ishidoro, the old stone lantern stood among the green, worn out from the weather but still solid and beautiful. He was happy they had come here. While he loved Tokyo, the bustle and the crowds, this was a welcome reprieve, a quiet place. The ancient lamp reminded him of the times of old when everything had been slower, somewhat how Iwatobi still was. He didn’t mind at all taking a break once in a while, going back to that, especially when he had Haru to share it with.

Eventually they had ended up strolling down a walkway that led to one of the beaches. Haru breathed in deeply when they had finally reached it and Makoto tugged him towards one of the rocks, only to be met with resistance.

“Eh?”

“I don’t know.” Haru’s nose wrinkled.

“What’s wrong?” He looked around, and though there were other people walking about too, there were few and far in between, and he couldn’t see any problems.

“Are we cheating on our rock?”

Makoto was startled into laughing, then drew Haru into a hug. He didn’t care if anyone saw, he just couldn’t resist it. At times like this, it was that his love for this man grew even more. Something he’d think it wasn’t possible and then some small thing would happen and he’d have to re-evaluate.

“I think it will know we’re just resting here for a while.”

Haru nodded seriously and then let Makoto tug him over. They sat down and a sigh of relief escaped them both. They’d been walking around for hours now and a bit of rest was a good thing. Haru’s head rested on Makoto’s shoulder, and he stared at the water. The sun was slowly starting to set and Makoto was pleased that they’d get to see it from such a romantic spot.

Not that he’d ever say that aloud but it was nevertheless the truth. He always thrilled at these little things they did while together and it especially pleased him that Haru was the same. He threaded his fingers through Haru’s hair, combing it away from his face, and smiled.

“It’s strange.” Haru’s voice reached him after a while.

“What is?”

“Those girls.”

“It’s expected that you’d be asked for autographs now. It’ll just increase I think.”

Haru nuzzled his neck and sighed. “I know. I don’t mind if it is like the two of them, they were polite. I mean the idea itself.”

“Finally understood that you’re the best in Japan, the whole country, in your disciplines?” He’d wondered about that actually. Haru’s personality wasn’t such that he’d expected great exaltation and he had been sure that was certainly a part of an almost placid way of acceptance of his achievements but he had also begun to question after a while if Haru really understood, if he’d truly internalized what it meant. He definitely had his answer now.

“This is so strange.”

Makoto continued playing with his hair and let him work it out. The water ahead of them was now turning colours, as it was want to do, once sun got low enough and he found himself in awe at the beauty of it. Haru nuzzled his cheek, their hands met on Makoto’s lap and they watched as the sun completely set.

“Home?” Haru’s whispered voice was heard in the quiet of the early night.

“Yes.”

They leisurely strolled across the path, back towards where they came from and a wonderful sense of calm came over him. Spending time with no stress at all with the person he cared about the most was the cause of course, making him vow they’d always find some way to carve out these moments for themselves.

They ended up getting dinner on their way back, neither particularly relishing the idea of cooking.

“I want us to curl up on the couch and just relax.” Haru murmured as they stood in the line, waiting for their turn and Makoto perusing the choices. He’d added the green tea ice cream to his order and then Haru requested one for himself as well when he heard it. They walked home then, Makoto depositing their bags on the table while Haru went to wash his hands.

It didn’t take them long to settle down as they had wanted. At first they turned on the television but soon, got engrossed in feeding each other bits and pieces of their own meals. Haru hummed around a bit of sushi Makoto had offered, making him squirm.

“It’s nice.” Haru mumbled around his bite, then swallowed. “Just spending time like this.”

“It is.” Makoto smiled at him and Haru deposited a loud peck on his lips. Smiling, he fed him another bite.

Haru got up, confusing Makoto for a second, but then he sat sideways across his lap, cuddling into him. Nuzzling his neck, he inhaled and Makoto shivered. There was just something special about the times when Haru got this tactile. It wasn’t how he usually was, so Makoto especially cherished these moments. They managed to eat their food, and Haru kissed his neck then got up to get their ice-creams.

Makoto stretched, feeling lazy and happy. He didn’t expect for Haru to come back and straddle him though, with only one ice-cream bowl. He blinked, looking at it but received just a shrug in reply and a spoon, filled with the sweet, as an offering. Opening his mouth, he waited and Haru fed him, then took one for himself, licking the spoon carefully, before dolling out another to each of them. Makoto felt a stirring of desire, watching Haru’s tongue darting out, cleaning the spoon and whined when Haru scooped another for himself.

Haru attaching his lips to Makoto’s in response to that was jolting but his mouth opened in reflex and Haru’s cold tongue met his, licking, the taste of Haru and green tea mixing and sending his nerves firing. He moaned, his hand finding Haru’s head and preventing him from moving away, while he trust his tongue into Haru’s mouth and sought more of it. They were both breathing heavily by the time Makoto was finally satisfied and he licked his lips, feeling the lingering remains of that taste.

“More?”

He nodded and when Haru offered him another spoonful, his tongue darted out and slowly licked at the ice-cream first, before sucking it into his mouth. A groan came from Haru and he pulled at the spoon, only to replace it with his own mouth. Makoto’s vision narrowed down only to the man in his lap, his senses aware of only him. By the time they came up for air, he was panting and only then noticed one of his hands was practically kneading Haru’s arse. He groaned and went back to kissing, his body asking for more, leaning forward in his effort to bring them as close together as possible.

Haru finally broke their kiss, his own breaths coming equally fast.

“Bedroom. Now.”

Lifting him, knowing Haru would hold on, he managed to stand up, Haru’s legs locking around him. He kissed him again, unable to resist, feeling Haru’s arousal against his belly, his own cock so hard now that it was almost painful.

“Bedroom.”

He laughed at Haru’s commanding, growly voice and then finally obeyed. This time he didn’t stop at the bed though, but kneeled with one leg on it and simply plopped them both down. At the last moment he was careful to extend an arm, to take some of his own weight on it, as he didn’t want to squish Haru underneath him. Haru though wasn’t having any of it and quickly moved up, pulling Makoto after himself and then down. His hands were forceful almost, tugging off Makoto’s clothes and in return, Makoto's own desire spiked. Something about Haru not being able to get enough of him, fast enough, was making him hot beyond anything so far. They were naked in a few moments, clothes flying to the floor with no care at all, and Makoto covered Haru’s body with his own, their bodies moving in an almost frenzied rhythm.

An arm sneaked in between their bodies and Makoto groaned, his mouth latching onto Haru’s. There was no finesse in the kiss at all, but he had to have that connection. It didn’t take much longer after that, it couldn’t have, with this whirlwind of desire that had overtaken them and soon they both reached their climaxes.

Makoto’s head laid resting on Haru’s shoulder, as he tried to regain his breath. His brain was sluggish, whole body limp and he sighed. He was certain though that he wanted a repeat of this one day, hard and fast. Haru’s hand started caressing his back then and he shivered.

“Shower?” He lifted his head up, only to meet Haru’s lazy gaze. He was smiling, looking unbelievably gorgeous in a debouched way. He nodded but still had to wait a bit more before he was able to get up. They finally managed to stumble into the bathroom, Haru picking up the gel they used, Makoto setting the water to something they both liked. Warm hands on his back pushed him forward and he stepped under the spray, Haru following him.

“Bliss.”

Soft laughter could be heard, Haru’s head falling onto his back. “Yes.”

The tiles in front of him looked quite inviting so he sighed and rested his hands on them, his head falling forward, warm droplets of water bombarding him. Haru was moving behind him and then the soft loofa landed on his back. He groaned in appreciation and allowed himself to be pampered. He took his turn after, washing every inch of Haru, who watched him through hooded eyes.

“What?”

A small smile, Haru’s hands almost sculpting his muscles before wrapping around his neck and an eager mouth kissing him again was all the answer he got. Having no intention of complaining, he let the loofa fall to the shower floor, and pulled him even closer, slowly kissing his mouth. That urgency he had experienced last night and just a few moments earlier had gone but the desire was still there. Haru apparently felt the same because they kept exchanging lazy kisses under the water spray, their hands roaming each other’s bodies, fingers tracing every muscle, every tendon.

Makoto’s body stirred again slowly, like every nerve was waking up individually instead of the usual, sudden overwhelming of his senses. His hand groped around the wall, before he managed to turn the shower off, Haru pushing his hair out of his eyes. He blinked in thanks then smiled a lazy smile.

“We have the whole night.”

A towel was handed to him and Haru stepped out, grabbing one for himself. He stood there, slowly drying his body, Makoto watching him, his eyes following the movements of his hands, while he tried to do the same. By the time he briskly rubbed his hair, just enough to stop it from dripping, Haru had already finished.

“Yes. No urgency.” With that and an inviting smile, he was off to the bedroom and Makoto stood blinking at his retreating back. If that wasn’t an invitation, he didn’t know what was, so he just threw the towel into their hamper, grabbing another, smaller one they’d need before he followed him. Next came the lube and the condom from the nightstand, and he joined Haru on the bed, their mouths meeting again in a slow caress.

He couldn’t keep his hands still for long though and he touched as much as he could while their mouths remained locked, before he finally moved away and peppered kisses down Haru’s neck, his hands finding Haru’s nipple and playing with it. His mouth soon replaced his hand, gentle sucks before he blew cool air on the wet nub, the body beneath him shivering. Not wanting the other to feel neglected, he repeated his caresses on it, before giving it a little nip too, Haru moaning quietly above him. He took his time there, wanting to make this last as long as possible and be as good as possible.

Trailing kisses down Haru’s stomach, he reached his navel and thrust his tongue into it. A jerk of Haru’s hips was the response and then he kissed his way down, before simply taking Haru’s already fully hard cock into his hand and then sucking his length into his mouth, his other hand holding Haru’s hip down. Licking the vein on the underside, he tongued that sweet spot, enjoying Haru’s moans and then twirled his tongue around the head, jabbing at the slit. Licking down, he thought that it would be really unfair if he left out Haru’s balls so he carefully sucked, before laving them with his tongue. His finger pressed gently on Haru’s perineum, and then down, towards his hole.

He gently rubbed it, before slightly pushing in, playing with the rim, and then he finally let go of Haru’s hips that immediately moved. Wiggling down the bed a bit, his hands grasped Haru’s thighs, pushing them up, opening him up more and then his tongue returned to where his finger was. Haru was moaning continually now but that was exactly what Makoto wanted. His tongue jabbed at the muscle and licked, before he added a wet finger, carefully pushing in. Haru was relaxed enough that it went in easily, and Makoto pumped it in and out, his tongue joining in again, playing with the outer muscle. Haru groaned, his hips moving in tandem with Makoto’s finger. When it left him, he whined in protest, but Makoto only reached around to get the lube.

His hand shook so he had a bit of a time trying to open it. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to calm and then he popped the lid, coating two of his fingers with plenty of it. They’d gone this far before, it was going to be just fine. He circled the tight muscle with his fingers before pushing in and then waiting a sign that it was all right. Haru’s hips twitched then, signalling that he was ready, so he moved his fingers, taking care to scissor them, stretching that tight channel as much as he could.

“More.”

The quiet command came from Haru, making Makoto look up to confirm. Haru nodded so he coated three fingers this time and carefully pushed. He made sure to go extra slow, to give Haru time to get used to it. Remembering the burn when Haru did this to him, he held still waiting for Haru to relax first before moving them again. He looked for that spot, twisting his fingers, knowing it would help. The strangled sound above told him he’d found it and he could almost feel the easing of the muscles around him. It was still incredibly tight and just imagining being inside, his cock squeezed in the most delightful way, made his head spin from the rush of blood and desire. He didn’t want to hurry though, so he continued preparing Haru, adding more lube, relaxing the muscles as much as he could.

He noticed his own hips were now moving against the sheets, his body seeking friction on its own and he had to consciously lift them. There was no way he was going to allow this to end too quickly and that meant keeping a control on himself as much as possible.

His fingers finally left Haru’s body and he quickly wiped his hand on the handy towel. Crawling up Haru’s body, he laid open mouthed kisses on his skin before he finally reached his mouth and claimed a kiss. Their tongues met, tasting and Makoto could sense tremors raking both of their bodies. They needed more and they both knew it.

Laying a hand on Haru’s hip and moving back, he tried to get him to turn on his side but Haru just shook his head at him.

“It’ll be easier that way.”

“I know but I want it like this.”

Suddenly finding himself torn between his own desire that also urged for them to be able to look at each other and the desire to cause as little pain as possible, Makoto bit his lip. This he did not anticipate. Haru just pulled him down, kissing him again. “It’s going to be fine. Like this. Go slow.”

That went without saying but he still hesitated. In the end, their mutual desires won out and he just nodded and grabbed the condom. Putting it on was a bit of a chore because if he had thought earlier his hands were trembling, it was nothing compared to how they were now. Haru’s hands grasped his, helping him and Makoto moaned, his hips thrusting forward. Having Haru touch him now was pushing him at that moment, so he grabbed his hands and moved them aside, bending over to kiss him in thanks. All that research did mean though he knew a pillow under Haru’s hips could help so he grabbed one of the smaller ones and placed it under his lower back. Adding more lube was the last thing he had to do and there was no more postponing.

Shifting Haru’s legs up, he aligned himself to Haru’s hole and taking a deep breath, pushed. The head popped in past the first ring of muscle and he managed to hold his hips still. Haru’s body was covered with a sheen of sweat and his eyes were closed. Just this was already driving Makoto wild but he waited, carefully watching Haru until he got a nod and pushed a bit further before stopping again and waiting. When he got the all right, this time he pulled back a little, then in again, not further than before, but the head of his cock teased Haru’s rim. Not hearing any complaints he repeated the movement, Haru’s breath hitching and then he inched a bit further forward, with Haru pushing back to make it easier. The tight channel was gripping him now and he thanked the stars for the focus on Haru because otherwise he’d be having a difficult time simply trying not to lose it.

They repeated this, until he was finally fully in. His own breathing was laboured and he was sweating profusely. He couldn’t quite believe that they were finally connected in this way and the realization that he was actually inside Haru’s body was making him completely unable to think. The courage to accept another person in this way, the vulnerability of it, the trust, it was all wreaking havoc with his emotions. He had to concentrate on Haru who was breathing deeply, to attempt and distract himself from the overflow of his own emotions, and Makoto rubbed Haru’s thighs, trying to help him relax and hoped that he’d be able to keep his sanity.

“You’re not exactly small Makoto.”

That startled him out of his thoughts and he had to prevent himself from laughing, lest he move suddenly but he was definitely blushing.

The small interplay had distracted them both it seemed and Haru’s muscles relaxed a little.

“Move.”

His hips did, slowly, and he couldn’t keep in the sound that fought to escape his throat. He was aware that under different circumstances, he’d be terribly embarrassed for it all, but now he wanted to let Haru know how good it felt. Doing his best to go slow, he kept his thrusts shallow, just barely moving before Haru’s hips met his. This emboldened him into going a little bit faster, pulling out further. Haru was hard again, his erection having flagged a bit during penetration, and he was immensely relieved.

Finally feeling like he could, he covered Haru’s body completely with his own, Haru’s arms immediately going around his shoulders, legs wrapping high around his back. He groaned and kissed him with all the passion he had in him, his tongue imitating the movement of their bodies, Haru emitting little sounds now too. He broke it only when his lungs started burning from the lack of air.

One of his hands landed on Haru’s hip, his long fingers splaying there as if to make sure they truly were moving together. His own body maintained a steady rhythm now, each thrust met by Haru. His eyes were open and their gazes locked, both of them lost to everything but each other, and the incredibly intimate moment they were sharing.

Makoto kept it slow as long as he could but soon the rising need of his body forced him into going a little faster. Haru threw his head back, moaning, his eyes trying to close but he kept reopening them, keeping them focused on Makoto’s face. This drove Makoto even further and he couldn’t keep himself from thrusting harder, faster, Haru following him.

The room was filled with their sounds of passion and everything was combining to drive Makoto closer and closer to the edge. Haru’s cock was now continuously leaking, and when he tried to take it in hand, Haru stopped him and just drew him closer. Their mouths met again, tongues and saliva, teeth clanking together. In the back of his head something was yelling at Makoto to slow down and he tried, but Haru was having none of it and he tightened his inner muscles making Makoto cry out. That almost sent him over the edge and he realized that soon there would be no stopping it.

His stomach muscles were tensing and he did the only thing he could think of, changing the angle of his thrusts on each pass. It took just a few tries before Haru almost yelled and he knew he’d found the spot. Trying to hold on a bit more, their eyes locked, he thrust in hard, once, twice, nailing Haru’s prostate and that was it. Haru’s entire body spasmed, and Makoto followed him over the edge, unable to stand it any longer, Haru’s muscles clenching over his cock.

He had never felt like he did at that moment. He wasn’t feeling just his own orgasm, his entire body pulsing but he was feeling Haru’s too, his body’s tremors and pulses and the dual sensory overload made him finally close his eyes, his body falling onto Haru’s, completely spent.

When he finally came back to his senses, he carefully pulled out, eliciting a hiss from Haru and then took off the condom, tying the end and leaving it to the side. He finally returned to Haru only to be met by a smile. His eyes got inexplicably wet and he quickly kissed him, trying to get a control of himself. He had no idea why he suddenly felt like crying but Haru just kissed him back, not saying anything, even though Makoto was sure he could see him.

“I love you so much Haru.” His voice broke, tears finally falling and he shook his head. Haru carefully cupped his face, wiping off the tear tracks, then pulling him closer for another kiss. “I love you too Makoto.” He sniffed, feeling completely overwhelmed by everything. “I don’t know…” He started saying but Haru just put a finger over his lips, shushing him.

“Sometimes you don’t need to say anything. I understand anyway.”

Makoto's heart clenched at the simple words, and nodded. Haru’s hands were already pulling him back down and he rested his head on Haru’s shoulder, tucking it into the crook of his neck and just breathed, letting everything just wash over him, feeling those invisible strings that bound his heart to Haru’s strengthen and multiply.

Makoto breathed in the scent of Haru’s skin, his sweat, the smell of sex in the air, luxuriated in Haru’s arms around him, holding him close, and smiled.

The two of them, Makoto was sure, they were going to be just fine.

~~

“Come on sleepy-head.”

Haru mumbled, making Makoto laugh in response. He tugged at the sheet, trying to make him move but since he had left the bed to set up their bath, Haru had somehow managed to make himself into a human burrito and he wasn’t budging.

“You can sleep in the bath, I have been told I’m comfy to lie on.” One blue eye opened at that and he yawned. “You are.” A sleepy utterance and then Haru finally moved, managing to get rid of the sheets, before stretching. Makoto wanted to get back in bed with him.

Shaking his head, he offered Haru a hand, and then tugged him up once he had taken it. Another yawn which of course caused a responsive one in Makoto himself.

“We are both going to fall asleep in the bath and drown.”

Last night they had been simply too tired to have one, so they had settled just with cleaning up with a wash cloth as much as they could, before curling up in bed and falling asleep within seconds. Makoto had been bone tired and he was quite sure Haru hadn’t been much better. They’d slept late, it was already noon but they were lazy and there was no rush to go anywhere. Having woken up first, Makoto had spent time just glorying in the silence and the ability to watch Haru sleep, but after a while he realized he was sticky in some pretty awkward places so he had gotten up and ran a bath, switching out their usual bath oil for chamomile this time.

As he followed Haru into the bathroom, he wondered how to ask without making it awkward but then realized it was simply not possible. Embarrassment was assured so might as well get it over with.

“Are you all right?”

Haru raised an eyebrow at him, then motioned for Makoto to get in first.

“Oh, yes, hold on.” He picked up the towel he always used for a head rest, and took the opportunity of not having to look at Haru and ask the question. “I meant, there’s no pain?”

“You’re not that big Makoto.”

He slipped and flailed for a second, before a giggling Haru caught his arm. Quite sure his face was the shade of a tomato, he cleared his throat and simply settled into the bath, weighing the option of submerging himself completely. Haru was already getting in though, and he helped him to settle into his favourite position when they took a bath together, resting between Makoto’s legs, on his chest.

Turning so that he could drop a soft kiss on Makoto’s lips, Haru caressed his arm in reassurance.

“I’m fine, thank you. Sore but fine.”

He bit his lip, feeling a bit guilty. He had gotten quite enthusiastic, there at the end. Haru was already shaking his head at him though. “Don’t, I wanted you to. It was pretty great, wasn’t it?” He asked, grinning and Makoto grinned back. “It was amazing.” His head tilted back, Haru looked quite kissable at that moment, so Makoto did. The kiss was slow and long, and it thrilled him to his toes.

Haru curled up on his chest after that, relaxing and yet, Makoto found himself strangely restless. His hands wouldn’t be stilled, fingers tracing Haru’s shoulders, back, anything he could reach. Haru hadn’t complained, on the contrary, he’d shifted a few times too when he wanted more attention to a specific place, so Makoto simply stopped worrying over it.

When the water had started to get cold, they helped wash each other, Makoto trying to help and not giggle when Haru grumbled about hard to reach places, and they got dressed in their comfortable clothes, Haru heading to the kitchen to make something for lunch, Makoto to check what he needed to do for University readings that day. It wasn’t much but he still wanted to be sure.

He was typing on his computer, glasses threatening to fall off his nose, by the time Haru appeared next to his shoulder.

“Something you missed?”

“Ah, no! It’s the summer internship program at Ryuujin, they’ve posted the requirements a day early.” He pulled up his browser, so Haru could see.  

“They require more, don’t they?”

Since he wasn’t going to minimize his options, he had of course kept up with the other programs and had already sent in one of his applications so Haru was by then pretty much familiarized with the process. “They do but if all goes well, it’s nothing I won’t have. They do require two recommendations more but I had already wondered if that might be the case and it shouldn’t be a problem as I've asked my professors in advance, to be sure.”

“Good.” Lowering his head, Haru dropped a kiss on his cheek then went back to the kitchen. “Lunch is ready, you can do that after.”

Like it was being asked something, his stomach growled at that very moment, sending Makoto hurrying into the bathroom to wash his hands. He really was hungry, even if prospects of applying had momentarily distracted him. Bowls and plates were already on the table when he returned, hot and smelling enticingly and they fell on them like starved wolves. Haru had made plenty and they both had seconds after a small break.

They’d done the dishes together and then he’d gone back to typing while Haru did what Haru does when he’s free, which was either putter around the house, listen to Hamasaki’s ramblings over the phone which kept being interrupted by Nagisa of course, and in the end, read. Having done everything that he could do at that point, Makoto grabbed his own book, and they ended up reading together on the couch, Makoto sprawled out, Haru lying on top of him, Makoto’s fingers absentmindedly playing with his hair.

A lazy kind of Sunday afternoon passed slowly while the world outside buzzed and hummed.

~~

Makoto was busy taking notes for the class lecture, when he glanced at the time and sighed with relief. It was an interesting one but he was hungry and more than ready for a break. It was only Tuesday yet he was tired.

One of the things both Makoto and Haru, even if he tried to hide it at first, had been looking forward to yesterday, was finding out finally what had happened to Rin and Sousuke. There had been no calls on Sunday either and as they had guessed at the time, the duo had spent the night talking mostly. Rin had been slightly disappointed and had spilled the whole of it to Haru, until Haru had pointed out that unlike their usual talks, this had been completely different because both of them had opened up about their feelings, even if it wasn’t about romantic ones. That had made Rin perk up because Haru was right of course. One thing had been sure though, Rin was well on his way to being certain about how he felt about Sousuke and when later that day Sousuke had asked him to go to the movies that week, Haru said he had practically glowed. Makoto had been attacked by a fit of giggles then because if Haru used those words, then he could only imagine how Rin had been. Apart from that one thing, it’d been an uneventful start of the week, Haru off on his practices, Makoto studying in the library and classes rolling by one by one. Finals were looming closer and closer, everyone becoming antsier but he was as prepared as he could be at that moment. The real cramming would start next week and overall, they’d timed it well as by then he’d be moved in fully and he could relax and fully focus.

The professor finally wound down and bid them a good day, other students hurriedly getting their things ready. Makoto got up and stretched, then did the same and met up with Matsushita and Koizumi who were waiting outside of his class, having been released a few moments earlier.

“Lunch as usual?”

“Yes. I’m so hungry!” Koizumi admitted then giggled when the two guys fervently agreed with her. They walked over to what they considered their table by then, Makoto plopping down and getting his bentou out. “I’ve dreamt about food through that last hour.”

“I wasn’t much better either.” Matsushita laughed. “I think the entire class could hear my stomach!” His girlfriend popped up at that moment, greeting everyone. “I’m so hungry!” They all laughed then, and Matsushita had to explain why.

“It’s the spring I think.” Makoto nodded, taking a break in inhaling his rice. “Has to be.”

“Or the amount of studying we’re all doing now.”

“Tachibana isn’t studying though.” One of the girls from his class had walked over, and leaned onto the table. “He’s out visiting aquariums.”

“Eh?”

A glossy magazine was put in front of him and he groaned, recognizing the name. It was the same rag from last week. _I knew I shouldn’t have thought that the week was uneventful. That’s what I get for daring fate._ He carefully wiped off his hands, then took it.

“Makoto.” Koizumi sounded worried, obviously having recognized it too, and lightly touched his arm. He tilted the cover towards her and her mouth formed a small o, before she frowned. “Well, you look really nice together.” The one who brought over the magazine added, and Makoto wished she’d be quiet.

With a huge title of “We got it right this time!” the magazine now had photos of him and Haru from the aquarium. He quickly turned to the article but they’d had some semblance of decency and hadn’t followed them, or published, anything from the beach. He still felt uncomfortable about anyone just taking photos of the two of them and putting them up for all the world to see, yet at the same time he was glad that those especially intimate moments weren’t captured. A small mercy in this. It was just the two of them eating gelato, walking while holding hands and one, the photo from the cover, with their faces zoomed in, looking at each other and smiling. They did look nice together but he still wished it hadn’t happened. He passed it over to Koizumi, ignoring the other girl and quickly dialled Haru.

He’d been so focused on their conversation that he was surprised that both girls from his class were there when he hung up, he hadn’t noticed the other arriving.

“This is such a gross violation of privacy!” Koizumi fumed and Makoto could only agree. Matsushita was grumbling, Moto-san patting his hand, but also frowning herself.

“It’s because they think they found out a juicy secret, they’re vultures.” The other girl added.

“Hardly a secret.” Makoto snorted. “People don’t go out on dates in public or hold hands in plain sight if they plan on keeping it a secret.”

“So you are together?” The girl who had brought over the magazine butted in again and Makoto frowned. He didn’t see why it was something that interested her, nor could he understand why anyone would buy such a magazine. But he didn’t want strife here either. “Yes, as I said, hardly a secret. But it’s also my private business, not anyone else’s.” She finally got the message and waltzed off, her friend staying behind just long enough to try and apologize, but it was hardly her fault. She seemed nice enough and genuinely upset by it all.

“Why are people so nosy?” Matsushita frowned and Makoto had no answer.

“What did Nanase-san say?” Koizumi asked, making Makoto smile. “He wasn’t upset?”

“He was, for the same reason I, and you, are. Thank you all for your support by the way. He was with Mizushima-san when the reporter caught up with them, they had gone out to have some paperwork done, and he says he tried to explain why he would not tolerate invasions of his privacy. Apparently his coach was certain they’d not be bothering us again after that.” Makoto shook his head, wishing he could have seen that.

“Nanase-san can look a bit scary sometimes, in that cold, cool way of his,” Matsushita’s girlfriend added shyly.

Matsushita looked worriedly at him when he laughed at that, and Makoto hurriedly continued, waving to show he was fine and hadn’t lost it.

“Apparently his parting sentence to the reporter was that at least this time they got the right childhood friend. Not complete incompetency after all.” He laughed again because that was so Haru and the others had to join him this time.

“I hope this is it though and they’ll leave you two in peace.” Makoto shrugged at Koizumi’s words. “I suspect there’ll always be a degree of interest but hopefully not of this sleazy kind.”

He picked up his food again, resolved not to talk about it any longer and his friends changed the subject easily, understanding him. Finals were always a handy topic these days so the conversation flowed quickly, especially when a bedraggled looking Himura showed up.

Nobody commented that he was more quiet than usual and Makoto used the time to examine how he was feeling. Someone in Iwatobi was bound to pick this up and it being a small town, the word would spread. He found that he didn’t actually care, as he’d been truthful. They weren’t hiding and he was proud to be with Haru.

Makoto had more important things to think of now too, like how to ace a particularly nasty exam they all feared.

“Anyone got the notes from Sawamura-san? I want to check a part I’m not sure I got down right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waggles eyebrows*  
> XD
> 
> Next swim time the whole gang's together to help them move and we learn a little bit more about Hamasaki siblings too, among other things.


	24. Chapter 24

#  Chapter 24

 

“Ah, Nanase-san, you haven’t left yet, good.”

Haru looked up and saw Mizushima-san’s personal assistant. A rather formidable looking woman, who he quite liked. He’d had to go to her on a few occasions for some matters and she’d always been almost eerily prescient, ready with most answers or papers, and quite efficient.

“Yoshida-san, good day.”

“The crew that will be doing the filming about our training facilities, the club and of course, the swimmers is arriving tomorrow. Nothing is going to change about your regular schedule but be advised they may be filming outside too in the morning, as you arrive. Everything will be organized, so it should run smoothly with minimum impact on you. Of course, you will be interviewed, as you have already been informed, once your practice for the day is concluded.”

That was pretty much what he had expected, he’d seen other such shows here and there on television before and as long as it held to that, it seemed like a nice opportunity for the club. Of course, he wasn’t counting the interview he had to give, he would never learn to like those. Considering how that morning had gone, when that man had caught up to them as they were returning from his fitness assessment, he did have to raise one point with her, no matter how embarrassing.

“There will of course, be no questions of a personal nature, rest assured. The crew is very professional and the club takes care of all the swimmers.”

_Eerily prescient._

“Ah, yes, I am very grateful for all the care. Thank you very much Yoshida-san.” She said her good byes and Haru got ready to leave. A visit to the bookstore was in order, especially if he was going to make that cake for everyone, as a thank you for helping them move Makoto’s things. Their home library was too small, he had concluded the other night. It wasn’t that he didn’t already have a few options but more wouldn’t hurt. At this rate, he could end up being a chef. Not that it actually appealed to him, he loved cooking but for himself and Makoto, their friends.

The question Makoto had brought up at the aquarium that day had been rattling around his mind, popping up like this, here and then, and he was aware that sooner or later he’d have to think about it. The idea of staying within the world of swimming still appealed to him the most but he just didn’t think he could work with people. He closed his locker, hitching his bag onto his shoulder, and headed out.

_I really don’t see what’s so difficult to understand when I say that one needs to listen to the water too. It works for me._

He shook his head, not comprehending the issue and almost ran into Sousuke.

“Ah, Nanase, you’re still here. Good.”

Haru had a sense of déjà vu. That bookstore never looked so far away because he had developed a talent of sniffing out when awkward conversations were about to happen. This was one of them.

“Five minutes?” Sousuke motioned to one of the free rooms and he sighed, following him.

“What can I do for you?” He said as he closed the door behind him. Sousuke was rubbing the back of his neck, staring at his shoes again.

“Eh. See. It’s like this…” Sousuke cleared his throat but nothing followed.

They were going to be there for the next five years if he was to wait for Sousuke to open his mouth.

“You pick him up at his place. Choose a movie that is not an action one where about a million people die and dozens of buildings are blown up. I vote for a comedy. Buy popcorn to share. Have a walk after. Talk. And I do mean talk, not like this right now. I’d also suggest kissing him if you think it’s going well but you’re Yamazaki so, no. Can I go now?”

“Are you psychic? And no, you can’t go! What do you mean, it’s not that easy!”

_This is why I can’t work with people._

“No. Yes.”

“Eh?”

“No, I’m not psychic, and yes, it is that easy. Look.” He leaned on the desk, crossing his arms. “How did it go the other night?” A pat on the back was probably in order he thought, considering how good he was getting at juggling these two and what he knew.

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“I’m bad at this.”

_Yes, you are._

“You talked, right?” Sousuke nodded in answer. “And not about swimming?” Another nod, and Haru scratched another career off his list. He did not enjoy pulling teeth. “Movies?”

“Ah no. It was more personal.”

“That’s progress though, right?” Another nod. “Just do the same thing when you go. Enjoy, relax, and don’t overthink. You’re just watching a movie, if more happens, great, if not, you’ll have a fun night.”

“I can’t confess. This is hopeless.”

“You’re not alone in this you know.”

“Eh?” Sousuke was frowning at him and while Haru knew it wasn’t easy, it was also painfully obvious he somehow believed it was all on him.

“There’re two of you. You’re both doing the work here, it’s a give and take, or it would be one-sided.”

Sousuke thrust both his hands in his hair, before nodding. “It was like that, the other night. I mean, we both talked and it sort of, just happened. The conversation, I mean. Nothing else.”

Patting his arm, Haru nodded. “Remember that. Rin has his own part to play.” Sousuke snorted, but seemed in a better mood overall.

“Thanks for listening.”

“Anytime. You have my number, text me if you need any help tomorrow!” He waved and left, hoping that he could finally reach his bookstore. Luckily, there was no one else waiting in ambush for him, so he finally managed to get there. Having been there several times before he knew exactly where to go now so he headed straight for the cooking section and desserts.

“Is there any way I could help you?” One of the employees asked him. The woman looked vaguely familiar, making him wonder if it was a sign that he was spending too much time there. Not that he cared to be honest. He politely declined, picked up two books then walked aimlessly around the store until a particular section caught his eye. He spent over half an hour there, paging through the various things, then picked up a couple for his readings. It was interesting.

Makoto was already home by time he arrived, waving to him from behind the desk, buried in paper and he chose not to bother him, instead just going about his business. Those finals looked brutal to him, he wasn’t sure he could ever study that much. He unpacked everything, then while the dinner was cooking, stood browsing through his newest acquisitions. Several things looked appealing but he didn’t have all the necessary things, which meant more shopping. Sighing, he closed the book and checked if the pasta was done.

“Need any help?” Leaning over, Makoto kissed his cheek. “Hi.”

“Hello yourself. The table?”

“Of course.” The clanking of bowls and the scrape of drawers was heard from behind him, Makoto getting it all ready and soon, they were eating, Makoto moaning about the glory of Italian dishes.

“It’s pretty good.”

“You are going to teach me how to make this. I don’t care if it takes a year.”

“This one isn’t difficult at all, you’ll pick it up quickly.” Haru smirked. “After all, you’re going to have to feed yourself for a whole month this summer.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to spend a month in Europe.” A finger suddenly appeared in Haru’s field of vision and he blinked. “You and I,” Makoto’s voice sounded certain, like he was stating a fact, “we are going to visit Europe together one day. You’re going to show me all those places you’ll find this summer and probably next, and then we’ll find our own too!” He nodded once and looked at Haru expectantly.

“I promise.”

A sunny smile was his answer and truly, he wanted nothing more. Haru was sure they’d do it, visit Europe together, and many other places. They had so much time ahead of them.

“In the meantime I expect regular reports. Skype is going to get a work-out.”

“Of course.” They’d have to think of the time difference but Haru was sure they’d figure something out. It was only a month too, though he was sure it wouldn’t take long for him to start missing Makoto.

He was also so excited.

“Excited?”

Used to these leaps of intuition of Makoto’s when it came to himself, he smiled. “Very much. I can’t wait! But Japan Invitational is coming up first, and it’s going to be my first chance to swim in an international competition. I am kind of glad it’s here.”

“You’ll have the home crowd support. It might make it easier.”

“I don’t really…” Haru took a sip of his water, thinking how to explain. “I don’t really hear them, not when I’m about to race. Later, at the podium, that was great but before the race I don’t actually notice.” He shrugged but Makoto just nodded, patting his arm and Haru was sure he truly understood what Haru meant. He always did.

“Oh the film crew is coming tomorrow.”

Makoto snorted then waved his hand in apology. “I’m so sorry but you should see your face. More interviews?”

“Just the one. They’ll film a part of our practice, the facilities and then interview the medal winners, and some of the coaches.  I don’t mind that, Yoshida-san said they won’t be interrupting us.”

“About that…”

“They won’t pry about us, I already asked. Well, I was going to, but she read my mind.” Haru snorted. “Anyway, there won’t be any personal questions.”

“I’d forgotten about that stupid magazine until you said interview just now.” Haru rubbed Makoto’s arm, sighing. It was truly intrusive and he tried not to think about it too much, it made him angry and it was not something he enjoyed. “Do you think your words will have any impact?”

“Partially, maybe. I’m sure out photos will show up here and there, especially if we go to events together when it comes to reputable papers but I think what these people were looking for, is a scandal.” In fact, he was sure of it. He had seen the look on that man’s face when Haru seemed completely unfazed by it. “He asked if I had any comments on the ‘accusations’ of being gay.” Snorting he shook his head. “Accusations. As if it’s a crime or something foul.”

And now he was angry again but he couldn’t help himself.

“He was clearly disappointed that I wasn’t denying it and that Mizushima-san obviously knew about it. There is no scandal. I am simply living my life, we are, and our private lives are nobody’s business.”

Makoto’s hand covered his and he turned his palm around, lacing their fingers together.

“Well, it’s done now and hopefully they’ll let it go when they see there’s no story there.”

“We shouldn’t waste any more time on that.” Seeing Makoto’s decisive nod, he felt relieved. The idea of Makoto being hurt even further filled him both with dread and rage. “I thought the same thing, earlier, while I was having lunch. We have more important things to do, including enjoying our lives. Of course, right now, that means I have to ace these finals.” Makoto laughed and slowly got up, taking his dishes to the kitchen. Haru shooed him away to continue with his studies, while he took care of it all. “You need your sleep too Makoto, go on and finish, I can do this.”

His face was tilted up then by Makoto’s gentle hands and their lips met in a long, slow kiss. “To tide us over.” With that, Makoto left the kitchen, leaving Haru thinking he definitely wanted more of that later. Dishes were done quickly, he put on some of their laundry to wash then and curled up with a book on the couch.

It was a typical evening in the Nanase and Tachibana household.

~~

“Ah, Nanase-san, good morning.”

Halting, Haru tried remembering why the man looked familiar then spotting the camera, he got it. “Kitajima-san, good morning.”

“You remember me!”

“Yes, of course I remember our interview.” _There, I didn’t say anything that is not the truth._ “Welcome to Ryuujin.” He hoped that would be considered polite enough. It wasn’t that he hated doing this, in principle, as much as he wasn’t sure what to actually say. He could swim in pools or oceans, even in bad weather, but here he was barely managing with a doggie paddle. Makoto had told him to stick to simple though and hopefully he could do that.

“Is this your usual starting time for practice?”

“I run first thing in the morning, but yes, this is usually when I start here at the club.”

“Oh, I see. I won’t hold you up, I know you have to get ready. I’ll be seeing you later, have a good day!”

Haru thanked him and made his escape. Pool time was mostly what was planned today so he was looking forward to it, the rest he’d just keep out of his thoughts as much as possible, pretty much as he did during the races.

This turned out to be a good strategy because as soon as he stepped out, intent on warming up, he spotted the crew that was filming the other swimmers there. He decided to treat this exactly as if it were a race, and he let his mind slowly clear. As the day slowly passed, he was vaguely aware of the cameras but he had been fully focused on the water and swimming. Sousuke was there too but he was used to talking to him during times like those by then. He dove right back in once they were done and by the time his practice had come to an end he was calm and focused, something that usually only swimming could induce. Lately, he’d noticed that when it came to Makoto, since they had gotten together, he would sometimes reach that place but that was it.

“Good practice?”

He shook his head to get the water out of his eyes, and nodded at Mizushima-san, then hoisted himself out of the pool. “Yes.”

“Your stamina is improving.”

This was not what he had expected, so he tilted his head slightly and thought it over. It was the truth, he moved easier for longer periods of time now, he had definitely progressed. “Yes. About half from where I started, I would say.”

“Come, it’s time.” Haru just followed him, without comment and he could swear his coach was laughing at him.

The questions were pretty straightforward, one or two about how he started swimming and then about the practices and future plans. In the end they brought in Rin too, for a couple of questions together, though Haru let Rin handle most of that, he was far more social and better at it. They said good bye to everyone in the end and Haru happily absconded for the locker rooms.

“Haru, wait up.”

He stopped, letting Rin catch up. “You should talk more.” Rin smiled and Haru didn’t even want to bother with answering that one but since he needed a bit of amusement, he did know what to say. “Remember your own advice tonight.”

Rin groaned and started dragging his feet, while Haru just smirked and went to shower and change. His luck being what it was, Rin was waiting for him outside.

“Oh Rin.”

“I’m nervous, all right?

“Just have fun, don’t over-think it and you’ll both be fine.” He repeated the words he said to Sousuke yesterday because they were still the truth. Just as Rin was about to answer him, they ran into the crew that they had seen about all day. They were friendly guys and they truly hadn’t bothered them. Waving, Haru thanked them again, figuring it couldn’t hurt, and wasn’t surprised at all Rin already knew some of their names. He was never going to get the hang of this social interaction thing but he figured he could be polite when warranted.

“Anyway, it’s easy for you.”

“Makoto and I did go through this stage as well, you know?” Rin’s sceptical face was an answer to that and he rolled his eyes. “We didn’t emerge out of the sea as Venus, you know? We fumbled around as well, taking our time too. There’s no rush.”

“How do you know about Venus? Wait, never mind, it is water related, of course you do.”

Haru pouted, refusing to believe it was a bad thing. He was interested in certain things and that was that, what would be the point in reading about things he cared nothing about. Rin’s arm landed across his shoulders then, startling him out of those thoughts. “It’s still scary. I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You won’t.” He did understand why Rin was worried but there were only two options. Risk it or give up. He was quite sure there was no way his friend was going to give up, so that was that. “Have fun tonight, all right?”

“Yeah, I think we will.” Rin’s smile was almost shy, and Haru couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen him like that. “I’m really looking forward to it.”

They boarded the train, and then Haru got off on his station, heading straight home. Makoto had told him not to worry about dinner because of his gruelling day and Haru had no intention of complaining. He loved cooking but he also loved when Makoto cooked for them, or simply ordered them food.

“I’m home!” He announced, making sure his shoes were neatly lined up next to Makoto’s, and he could hear the scrape of Makoto’s chair, as he moved to get up. “Welcome home.” That was followed by a kiss, and he hummed. It was the best way to come home as far as he was concerned.

“You survived.” Glancing to see if Makoto was making fun of him, he nodded seriously then sniffed the air. “You cooked?”

“Yes!” A gentle but insistent pair of hands was pushing him forward and he smiled when he saw the already set table, with an unlit candle in the middle and some flowers. “Go freshen up first, then we can eat.” Another push and Haru laughed, obeying. The day was definitely perking up for him.

“I made sure it’s the food that fits your nutrition plan.” Makoto’s words greeted him when he got back. Haru hugged him and tilted his head up in a silent invite. He loved kissing Makoto, he though as their mouths met and he let himself enjoy the by now familiar taste. _Coffee, he’s had coffee._

Licking his lips, as they pulled apart, he smiled. “You’ve had coffee. Mmm.”

A hand brushed his bangs away from his eyes. “Yes. You need a haircut Haru. But let’s eat first.”

He was starved so he quickly agreed and the only thing that could be heard for a good while were the sounds of dishes and their hums of enjoyment. He went through his third bowl, before he sighed and relaxed back. “I’ve eaten more this past six months or so than in my whole life I think.”

“You have to eat more with that training regimen of yours.” Makoto smiled at him over his glass, and Haru nodded. “I know.” Patting his stomach, he smiled. “Thanks, it was excellent.”

“You’re welcome.” Makoto’s sunny smile was always a sight to see and he had to lean over and gently kiss him. “I’m going to stretch out a bit, you’re studying?”

“Yes, but it’s not too much tonight, I did a lot already.”

They cleaned up quickly, Haru making certain to again thoroughly thank Makoto once they were done and then he let him go to settle on the couch and flip through his book. All that food, not to mention the practice that day had obviously tired him out and he thought he’d close his eyes just for a second to rest them. The next thing he knew, a loud buzzing sound near his head jerked him awake.

“I hoped I’d get to it before it woke you up.” Makoto sounded remorseful and close. He blinked and noticed him leaning over, trying to get to Haru’s phone that was hidden by the blanket Makoto had obviously tucked in around him once he’d fallen asleep. He moved a bit to create space for Makoto, then patted the couch but before he could sit down his own phone buzzed and he had to go get it.

“It’s from Rin.” Makoto said, taking his seat next to Haru, who immediately took the chance to snuggle up to him. “Mine is from Sousuke. He is asking if we’d mind going with them on a double-date.”

“Rin is basically suggesting the same thing. Did he text me and not you because he thinks I’m a pushover?” Makoto pouted adorably and Haru snickered, while nodding. “He did.”

“Mean. I wouldn’t go just for that.”

“You would, if you believed it’d do them good.”

“Well, maybe. But they need to sort this out on their own. What do we say?”

His lips pursed, he scratched his chin in thought, then shrugged. “We’ll say we’re busy.”

“They’ll think we’re having sex.”

“So?”

“Haru!”

“It’s natural.”

Before Makoto could protest further, Haru had resolved that they could actually have a bit of fun, and not just talk about it. Makoto’s desk was in order which meant that he was done for the night and he was quite rested. In order to get them where he wanted, he simply brought their mouths together, his tongue swiping over Makoto’s lower lip, asking for entrance and then enjoying a slow, thorough exploration once it had been granted. Careful how he moved, he straddled Makoto, luxuriating in the feel of the strong arms that had encircled him right away and those big hands now splayed on his back.

“We could actually be busy.”

“Eh?” Makoto blinked at him, eyes dazed and Haru nipped at his lower lip, eliciting a slow moan. “Oh! Yes.” After briefly wondering if he’d ever heard a faster yes in his life, Haru resumed kissing him, before he felt Makoto’s hands scrambling and backing off a bit. “Wait, we forgot to text them.”

“Right.” He quickly typed a reply, while Makoto did the same, before they put their phones on silent and quickly relocating to the bedroom. They seemed to be on the same page as clothes went flying right away, exchanging kisses until the moment Haru almost fell over, trying to take off his pants. They looked at each other and burst out laughing, Makoto plopping down on the bed.

“We’re ridiculous.” He stated watching Haru jumping around trying to get the stupid pant leg off; it’d gotten bunched up with the sock and was being quite unreasonable in his opinion. He finally managed to do it, with a loud sound of triumph, making Makoto clap. Haru just threw him a look, sending Makoto scrambling to get his own clothes off.

He crawled over to Makoto again, then tilted his head.

“What would you like Haru?” Makoto’s raspy voice and his words sent shivers down his spine, and he licked his lips. He’d like a whole bunch of things but for tonight, he could definitely decide on something he’s wanted for a while.

“A present.”

“For?”

“Being a good boy and doing my interview today.”

That drew another laugh from Makoto, who shook a finger at him. “You told me nothing about it!”

“We’ll watch together, it airs on Saturday. Until then, we have better things to do.”

“So what do you want for your present?”

He pressed his palms on Makoto’s chest, making him recline against the headboard before leaning over to get the lube and a condom from the nightstand. Straddling Makoto as he had just a few moments earlier, he gave a gentle nip to the earlobe in front of him, before whispering “I want to be on top, like this.” Makoto’s breathing hitched, his pupils dilating. Haru took it as a sign that Makoto was all in favour of it. He bent his head, asking for another kiss and sighed into it, then moaned when Makoto’s hands started caressing his back. Slow, gentle movements that made him shiver, his arms going around Makoto’s neck, their kiss turning more passionate by moment.

When Makoto broke it finally and then moved forward, attaching his lips to Haru’s neck, he could only hold on and let him. The slow kisses and nips made him shiver, his own hands clutching at Makoto now, and when one of Makoto’s hands started playing with his nipple, his stomach clenched in desire. Haru had never thought he’d love this so much, had even worried slightly if he would be able to lose himself in the feel of it all, but it had only taken a few touches from Makoto to relieve him of all those troubles. He groaned when Makoto let his other hand wonder down to his arse and kneed his muscles, before reaching down to tease slightly at his hole. Another thing he had wondered about, to have it quickly become something he welcomed.

Pulling back a little, he brought one hand up and tugged at Makoto’s hair, demanding a kiss and he was quickly satisfied, Makoto’s tongue thrusting into his mouth, making him lose coherency and just allowing it. It was like he was being taken, like that night, and he shivered, anticipation taking over. He was so focused on their connection that when a wet finger returned to slowly press into him, he broke the kiss and gasped, his head falling forward onto Makoto’s shoulder. Unlike before, Makoto didn’t stop though, and Haru could only press back, opening himself up to it.

When the finger started pumping in and out of him in slow, measured movements, he whined and let his hips move with it. Makoto wasn’t wasting any time though, and soon a second joined him, making him feel even more feverish. When the wicked, wicked man moved his hand and hit that spot inside of him, his muscles clenched around those fingers, before releasing, his breaths laboured, and eyes closed. Makoto took the chance to add a third finger and Haru tightened at the stretch, stilling until he relaxed and then moved again, Makoto’s movements following his.

Haru could feel his desire rising and he scratched his fingernails down Makoto’s back, making the fingers in him jerk. The unexpected movement sent another spike of desire down his spine and he grabbed Makoto’s hand, kissing him for a few moments. “Enough.”

Luckily the condom hadn’t fallen off the bed, or gotten lost in the sheets, because Haru couldn’t wait any longer. He helped Makoto again, just like that first time but now it was more that they both just wanted it done as quickly as possible. Makoto was moaning at the feel of Haru’s hands when he applied more lube, his eyes shut so Haru just chucked the tube somewhere and rose on his knees, grasping Makoto’s cock firmly in hand.

He could see Makoto’s eyes open slowly and focus on Haru’s face, Makoto’s hands bracing him around the waist. He carefully lowered himself, conscious of still being new to this and the slight pain he had experienced the last time, no matter how careful Makoto had been. He may have joked but he was pretty sure that had Makoto not been so careful and relentless in making sure Haru was ready, it could have been quite uncomfortable for him because Makoto really wasn’t small. It had been good though, after and he wanted that feeling back.

Pressing down, he felt the head pass the first ring of the muscles and then pushed a bit more, biting his lip at the burn. Inhaling, he waited, before lifting up a bit then pressing down again. He didn’t go much deeper but almost teased himself with the idea of having Makoto almost there, but not quite. The way Makoto’s eyes were eating him up, his body almost trembling beneath him, he could imagine that he was feeling similarly, willing to thrust but holding back. When a completely wanton moan left Makoto’s lips and his hands on Haru’s waist tightened, Haru figured that they’d both had enough torture and slowly worked himself down, in small starts and pauses.

Sweat was covering his body by the time Makoto was fully sheeted, his hands holding onto Makoto’s shoulders now, waiting out that first slight pain. It went away faster this time and he allowed his body to finally move slowly. They both groaned at that, the feeling indescribable. The stretch was still considerable, the burn still there but it started mixing with intense pleasure almost right away and Haru couldn’t stop himself from moving further up. It was as if the tiny pain was heightening his pleasure and driving him further and further. His body was moving steadily now, Makoto staring at him with his mouth slightly open, panting, his hands helping him lift a bit with each pass.

Haru couldn’t resist but move forward then and claim a kiss and that shifted the angle of his movement, Makoto’s cock hitting his prostate, making him shout in ecstasy. His leg muscles were slightly protesting, but he didn’t care because he increased the speed of his movements, his hands clenching on Makoto’s shoulders.

“You have no idea how you look.”

Makoto’s words sent him reeling because there was this intense look in his eyes, as he wanted to both watch him forever and yet also flip him over and simply lose himself in Haru. His muscles tightened and Makoto groaned, his hips twitching even if he was trying to hold them still. The slight movement was enough to intensify the experience and Haru wanted more. He was greedy, so greedy for Makoto.

“You can move.”

It was enough for Makoto, whose hands clenched again on Haru’s waist, his knees bending even more and when Haru pushed down again, Makoto’s hips surged to meet him. He shouted at the intense feeling. It was different from last time, with Haru in control and yet Makoto also involved now. It didn’t take them long to find a fast, hard rhythm and it left him wondering just how long something so intense could last. It was another thing about Makoto, he welcomed this, this tidal wave of desire and emotion, turned towards it and let it sweep him away. Somehow he was sure that Makoto was the one, only, person he could meet like this, completely open and exposed.

He kissed him again, his arms tightly wound around Makoto’s neck, Makoto moving more freely now, surging into Haru at a fast pace. He met him thrust for thrust though, not wanting to miss out on a single moment of it, glorying in the stretch and the feeling of fullness, his body wound tight, almost at the precipice. Makoto shifted his hips and hit his sweet spot again, and again, making Haru close his eyes, not being able to keep in the soft cries that escaped his lips and when he slammed his own hips down, the intense pleasure just bursting over him, making him come. He thought he almost blacked out for a second, his body falling onto Makoto’s. He could feel his muscles contracting around Makoto’s cock, over and over again as he came and Makoto thrust several more times, making his orgasm even more intense before he came too. They collapsed on the bed in a heap, both breathing fast, Makoto’s hands moving to embrace him and hold him close. Haru was grateful because he was completely and utterly spent. His legs burned and his breathing slowly returned to normal.

“If this gets any better, neither one of us is going to survive it.” Makoto croaked and Haru had to laugh because he did have a point. Makoto’s now soft cock slipped out of him then, suddenly making him hiss. They were silent for a few second before laughing again. Haru kissed Makoto, then carefully moved and stood. Makoto followed and his hands wrapped around Haru’s waist from behind, his head near Haru’s ear. “All right?” Haru had to turn then and bring their lips together for a soft, gentle kiss, before he nodded and caressed Makoto’s cheek.

He was sticky and definitely more than a little sore but at the same time, he felt gloriously alive and happy. It was worth any little inconvenience. Plus this time he was definitely awake enough to take a shower right away. He turned on the warm water, stepping in and sighing when the spray hit him. Makoto followed and as usual, they helped wash each other’s bodies, exchanging slow, sensual kisses.

Like the first time they’d done this, he felt connected to Makoto more so than usual and a sort of bone deep contentment that he was sure he could never explain. It was good he didn’t need to because by the way Makoto kept touching him, the way he kept looking at him, Haru could tell that he felt the same.

When they cuddled together in bed, and turned off the light, they didn’t go to sleep right away as usual but spent some time just cuddling, with a gentle caress every once in a while interspersed with equally gentle kisses, just enjoying each other.

By the time they let sleep take them, Makoto as usual cradling Haru, Haru was almost overflowing with emotion and at the same time, he was completely content and free.

~~

“Let me get this right.”

Nagisa stood with her fists on her hips in the middle of the room, looking at the five men around her.

“There are six of us here to move those few boxes?”

Haru glanced at the little pile of them and had to admit she had a point. Even with just Hamasaki and his car, the three of them could have finished this in a matter of two trips. Now he wasn’t even sure if a bigger problem would be getting all six of them to their apartment, and not the boxes.

Rin though just waved his hand at her and smiled. “Easy. We’re here because of Haru’s cake.”

“I’d be concerned if I were you Makoto, they’re all after Haru’s cake.” Nagisa was smirking, making Haru look at the ceiling. She was so predictable.

“Eh?” Makoto lifted his head from where he was checking one of the boxes, owlishly looking at her.

“I’m sure that’s why you were so busy the other day Makoto, took me five minutes to decipher what that text even said.” Rin was cackling.

 “I only eat Makoto’s.” Haru said on his way to check if they took everything from the cupboards.

“Haru!” Makoto squeaked. Nagisa was laughing like a hyena now. “Sousuke! Take this pest and check if the bedroom is all cleared up. Haru, just finish that up.”

Haru poked his head back out only to see a red Sousuke drag Rin away, and Nagisa who leaned over to Makoto, whispering.

“Sousuke wants Rin’s cake!”

“Wait, what?” Hamasaki looked at her. “Seriously?”

Closing the last cupboard, Haru returned and shrugged. “I’d say Rin wants Sousuke’s too.”

Makoto slapped his hand over his eyes but Haru knew the cat was out of the bag; Nagisa had figured it out that day they went dancing. “But they’re still not having any, so keep it quiet.”

“Will they ever figure out just how good cake is, with the proper chef and ingredients?”

“Nagisa!” Her brother look mortified and she shushed him. “Oh pipe down little brother, you’ll get there. Though yours won’t be all chocolate.” Haru snorted, because honestly.

“I think so.” Makoto cut in, obviously deciding that he might as well give in. “We should try and keep out though, they’ll work it out.”

“We’ll have so much fun once they do though.” Nagisa smiled and Haru could already see the gears spinning.

Her brother though still looked slightly dazed. “I can’t believe all four of you are eating chocolate cake.” He blinked, then realized what he’d said. Haru could see him trying to hold it in but then Makoto cracked up first and that was enough to set them all off. Nagisa had tears in her eyes from all the laughter when Sousuke and Rin came back.

“What happened here?” Sousuke asked, Rin blinking next to him.

Makoto shrugged, wiping his own eyes. “Too much cake!”

Nagisa stood up and waved her hands before Rin managed to get a sound out. “All right. Let’s load the car and then we can see what’s left. I suggest two going with Akira stay there, and he can return to pick the remaining three and the few boxes.”

“That’s the best plan.” Haru was already nodding because it also solved the issue of getting all of them to their apartment. “Makoto, I think you should go. You can figure out where to put things, and I’ll stay here, make sure everything is locked up for our little clean up tomorrow morning.”

“Are you sure?”

Haru just nodded and soon they loaded up everything they could, Sousuke going with them to help out Makoto unload. He claimed it would be easier plus Rin needed to avoid injuries. Nagisa wholeheartedly agreed even if Rin spluttered how he wasn’t that fragile.

“Why not clean up now?” Nagisa asked when they had finally left. She started rolling up her sleeves before Haru even managed to get a word out. “Rin, grab that dust cloth there, Haru you vacuum, I’ll do the bathroom.”

“Wait, that’s too much!” Haru kept protesting but she wouldn’t hear a word of it and was soon directing them like an orchestra. “Plus you both know those three will take a while.” She was of course right because quite a bit was done by the time Hamasaki returned. Haru kept thanking her that Rin ended up poking him in the ribs, complaining that he’d done work too. That got him a promise of seconds of cake which of course sent Nagisa laughing again.

They locked the apartment after checking if they got everything out, Haru making sure there was no true need to come back the next day and finally got into the car. It wasn’t a tight fit, even if both Haru and Rin ended up with a box each in their laps. “What are we cooking Nanase?” Nagisa asked and he had to agree that having dessert without an early dinner sounded bad but on the other hand, he hadn’t planned anything. “We have to feed six people, three of which are in training.”

“I can eat a lot.” Hamasaki piped up and Nagisa patted his arm gently, then spent some time talking to Haru about what to get, before diverting Hamasaki to a market. Food was bought, as well as drinks and they lugged it back to the car, Rin complaining how they didn’t let him get ice-cream and Nagisa lecturing him on proper nutrition and sugar intake. He was so morose that once they were back in the car, Haru had to jab him with an elbow, and show him the frozen yoghurt he’d managed to stash for him. That got him a hug and more Nagisa cackles.

“What took you so long?” Makoto asked as they trouped into the apartment.

Haru lifted the market bags he was carrying and smiled. “Dinner shopping. Nagisa and I are off to the kitchen, there’re a few boxes left in the car to bring up.” Nagisa came up behind him and they trudged to the kitchen together.

“I love the place Nanase. There’s so much space!” She turned around, dragging her hand along the counter.

“I’ll show you the rest later.” Haru was unpacking the bags, trying to figure out what dishes they needed. “We’re also going to redecorate a bit, there’s empty space and we need some more shelves.”

“You don’t want to overcrowd it though, it’s really got a nice feel now.”

“Yes, we haven’t decided yet. If you end up having any ideas, please do say so.”

She grinned at him, leaning into him suddenly. “You know me, I can’t keep my mouth shut.” He laughed and hugged her for a few seconds. He had no idea what possessed him to do so, but it was an impulse and he simply followed it. As far back as he could recall, he didn’t remember being particularly close with any girls. Gou was a friend but they’ve never truly shared things. Nagisa though, she had somehow wormed her way into his life, and Makoto’s too. He found he didn’t mind at all.

They ended up sorting through the things they’d need and in which order, and Haru began pulling down the few pots and pans they’d need.

“You did not make this.” Nagisa stood in front of the open fridge, staring. She’d obviously wanted to put the juice away to chill, and ended up stopping in her tracks. He grinned and played casual. “Everyone wants Haru’s cake.”

“You are giving me cooking lessons. Never mind, I’m moving in actually.” He laughed at her, then poked her with a spatula. “Work, then play!”

“Slave driver.” She glanced once more at the cake, shaking her head then accepted the apron he handed to her, and joined him.

Haru hadn’t expected to work so well with her but somehow they flowed seamlessly together. When he saw her expert dicing skills, he couldn’t resist teasing her about experience in chopping things up and ended up laughing at her sour expression and the threats of being on the receiving end of her slicing. “It was my grandmother actually, she taught me how to cook some things when we were young. Akira was still a toddler.”

“Hamasaki said you live on your own now.” She nodded, before sighing. “We do. Actually…” She glanced at him and Haru wondered if he’d finally get an answer to a few strange things he’d picked up on until then. “I moved right when I started University and Akira moved with me even though he was still in high school. They’re busy. She travels and he is a businessman so it worked out for us all.”

He put the rice in the water before nodding. “I’ve lived on my own in high school as well, after my grandmother died. It was her house, in Iwatobi.”

“Oh. I see.” Nagisa had abandoned the veggies and was now openly staring at him. “They don’t approve, you see. Of everything. My desire to work, Akira’s desire to swim.” Her voice was barely above whisper but he heard her clearly, everything said and left unsaid.

“His medals?” It was a bit awkward because he sensed she wouldn’t have opened up the conversation if she didn’t want to talk about it and yet he didn’t want to pry. Shaking her head, she sighed.

“It’s certainly an achievement, I suppose the sponsors will help but it’s not what he wants, is it. He wants Akira with him, another businessman and that’s never going to happen. Akira doesn’t have the head for it, not to mention desire.”

“At least he’ll be financially independent.” He remarked, thinking how it troubled Makoto.

“We already are.” She smiled, though it was not a happy smile. “Our grandparents made sure of it. Our grandfather always encouraged both of us and took care of us. Which is kind of ironic because he was far more successful in business than our father. It was his company, grandfather founded it, father just inherited.” Grabbing the knife again she resumed chopping and Haru turned to watch the rice, it was almost done.

“You know about Makoto.” She gave a quick nod at his words. “My father doesn’t approve either.”

“Your mother is wonderful though.”

“Yes.” Haru smiled, thinking that she truly was. “She said something to me, when I told her about me. She said we can choose our family, family of friends.” Glancing at her, he saw her blinking rapidly and then made sure to keep his eyes on the food not to embarrass her.

“I like that.” Her voice was small but sounded lighter than before.

“I do too.”

“Thank you, Nanase.”

“Haru.”

“If you don’t call me Nagisa nobody’s ever going to get any cake again.” He was startled into laughing because that was so very her. He understood her better now, so he just nodded obediently.

“Yes Nagisa.”

“Oi, oi, what is this?” Hamasaki laughed, coming into the kitchen. “How come you’re calling her Nagisa and I met you first?”

Nagisa beamed at her brother. “We’ve adopted each other.”

“I have a little brother?”

Haru finished straining the rice, then wiped his hands with the kitchen towel before pushing a bowl into his hands. “Stir that. Akira.”

“Yes Haru. Though that was more commanding, like a big brother should be. In other words, my job.”

Nagisa snorted at that, complaining that he commanded her all the time, which almost made Haru topple the rice all over the counter. The woman was shameless. They’d made excellent progress then, laughing about silly things they did as kids, especially once they started living on their own while the others could be heard moving the boxes around, Makoto’s voice echoing while obviously conducting where stuff would go. Haru was just finishing one of the sauces when Makoto’s head poked into the room.

“We’re done here. Need help setting the table?”

“So are we, no need Makoto, relax, we’ll do it.” Hamasaki shooed him away and Haru snickered at Makoto’s confused expression. Makoto would be glad for the change in address though because he liked the man and was already close to Nagisa. They each grabbed things and filed out, setting the table in quick, efficient motions. Haru left them to finish in order to grab the additional two folding chairs they kept in the storage closet on the balcony. This made him think that they should definitely invest in always having enough to seat six at least, considering their expanding number of friends and their propensity to drop over for meals.

Makoto showed up at his side and took one of the chairs, then raised his eyebrow in question but Haru just stood on his toes and pecked him. “Later.”

They all managed to seat themselves, Nagisa complaining about too many big men, and they attacked the meal.

“This is so good!” Sousuke managed to utter in between bites and the others agreed. “We should move in I think.” Rin added though it got Nagisa protesting.

“I am sorry boys but I already called dibs on it. I have first option!” She nodded at Hamasaki. “He comes along in the package so you two will have to think of something else.”

Makoto snickered and Haru shrugged. “We could always get a house.”

“We’d get on each other’s nerves within three minutes.” Rin sighed.

“Not if it’s a big enough house.”

Hamasaki patted his sister’s hand and Haru shrugged. “We don’t live all that far away, you’re always welcome, you know that.”

“That was great about Iwatobi,” said Rin, putting his bowl down. “We were all so close. I think it’s one of the things I miss the most. You could pop over within moments, Tokyo’s so big.”

“We grew up here so we’re used to it but I can imagine it must be a change. But you like it here?” Nagisa asked, and they all nodded quickly.

“It’s great!” Makoto added enthusiastically. “I wasn’t sure I’d like the big city but I do, so much. I like the idea of taking a break every once in a while, something it gets a little bit too much but otherwise there are so many things to do and see!”

They started talking about interesting places then, and Haru ate while thinking about what he had said earlier. He had said it more as a joke but the idea of having a house wasn’t so bad. Couples often did, in the outskirts and one day they really would need more space. Either that or a bigger apartment but the house somehow appealed to him. It was yet another thing to leave for later but it bore thinking about.

Makoto was talking about his possible internship when he finally rerouted his attention to the conversation again. He truly hoped he would get it. After having done research, he had pretty much fallen in love with the idea of teaching kids who came there considering it was a community give back and outreach program, which meant that children who attended it were usually those who were less privileged.

“Sometimes they invite some of the swimmers to come over. I did it last year, those kids are so great. It’s the least we could do.” Hamasaki was nodding. “Mizushima-san thought of it himself, I know the local University helps out in certain cases too.”

“It’s why I started my studies, helping kids and teaching them how to swim, showing them how special it is.” Makoto smiled and Haru rubbed his lower back. Makoto was going to love every minute of his work, once he was done with his courses.

“Funnily enough, it’s what we talked about in the interview, they asked you too Haru, didn’t they?” Rin said before grabbing some more food for himself. Haru nodded only because he was in the middle of a bite but Hamasaki jumped in. “True that! They asked me too about how I started swimming.”

“It’s important! Our coach was just brilliant. He even helped us out later for our high school club.” Makoto laughed. “I can’t wait to hear all of you.”

“Especially the part where they interviewed Haru and me together.” Rin grinned. “I got to shine.”

“We’ll see about that shark boy.” Nagisa mocked him, while Sousuke just smirked. He’d been quiet much like Haru for most of the conversation but then, Haru was sure he was still having a good time. He could tell by the almost permanent smile on his face if nothing else. “When is it exactly?” Nagisa asked.

“In a bit more than an hour.” Makoto said, turning on the TV. There was some music on, so he left it running softly in the background.

“Means we can have more food.” Rin stated and everyone snickered. Haru agreed though, he was hungry and after all they needed to eat a lot. Conversation continued, interspersed with the clatter of dishes and Haru looked on with satisfaction as Makoto and Nagisa engaged Sousuke in a spirited discussion about music. Nagisa wasn’t budging, gesticulating wildly to prove her point and in the end, simply invited them both to a concert that was being held in the near future, to hear the band live. The guys agreed, making Haru feel happy. He poked at it, feeling odd because it was not as if he was involved but then concluded it was simply because he liked seeing people he cared about get along. When everyone was finally done, the trio that didn’t do the cooking went to do the dishes and Nagisa insisted on her tour.

“It’s not like there’s all that much to see. There’s plenty of space here but for the most part, that’s it.” He led the way to the bedroom, and she laughed.

“You have a huge bed.” He shrugged, not fazed by it. “We like our space.”

“You also have a dolphin plush, of course you do. Honestly Haru.” She laughed, shaking her head. He absolutely refused to apologize, it was still and always would be a dear memory to him but not one he really wanted to share so he endured her gentle razzing.

“The bathroom’s over there, and the balcony there. It’s not too big and we need to clean it out as it’s pretty much just storage space now but we should be able to get a couple of chairs and a little table in maybe.”

“It’d be a waste to not use it. We have one of our own, you must come and see it. I love it here though, you’re right that there’s plenty of space and you definitely shouldn’t overcrowd it but there’re a few spots where you can easily fit in shelves both here and in the living room.”

He nodded, leaning on the wall next to the bathroom door. “It’s what we thought. I mean Makoto’s going to need more bookcases and we’ve decided on a display case for my medals, so that’s going to be a start.”

“Oh!” She turned to him, blinking. “That’s a great idea. I didn’t think about a display case! Akira has quite a few medals by now and we’ve sort of been piling them up on our shelves.”

“Makoto’s.”

Nagisa patted his hand, smiling indulgently and he shrugged in return. It was the truth after all.

“A painting?” Nagisa was leaning over it, as Makoto had left it leaning on the nightstand, tucked away so as to avoid being hit. It was still wrapped up and Haru just nodded. “We brought it over from Makoto’s, we’ll hang it up over the bed most likely. It is how it used to be at his old place.” He didn’t say more than that and he didn’t feel like unwrapping it for her right now. It was something he wanted to do with Makoto alone, one of those things that would truly signify they were making their own home. It wasn’t as if he minded her seeing it; after all others would too, they did plan on putting it in a pretty prominent position but right now, he wanted to wait.

“Remind me to show it to you next time if you like.” She just nodded, smiling and then grinned as she spotted the nightstand photos.

“I can’t believe how cute you guys were.” She was holding the photo of the four of them as children, smiling. It was the one taken when they had won their first relay then laughed when she saw the almost identical one, this time of them as young adults. “I didn’t know you guys swam as adults too though, I thought Rin was at a rival club?”

“We got disqualified.”

“Eh?”

“It’s a long story.” She pouted, wagging her finger at him. “You all keep promising to tell it and it’s been months.” Luckily she got distracted by the third photo and smiled, her face going all soft. For a second he couldn’t figure out what may have elicited such reaction and then he remembered. It was the one from their little holiday, just before they had gotten together. Makoto had put the one he chose at the living room desk because he said he liked the idea of being able to glance at them even when studying but Haru kept his there ever since he’d had it developed.

She didn’t say anything about it though but just gave him a gentle, quick hug, starling him and he smiled into her hair. Makoto’s head poked in, a smile blooming on his face when he saw them and he just said the show was a few minutes away.

They went back, Haru straight to the kitchen with Makoto on his heels and he got the cake out, while Makoto got the plates. The small coos Makoto was emitting were making him smile but then he could understand, it had turned out wonderfully and he was pretty certain it’d taste great too.

The others joined in exclamations when they brought it all out and it did not take long for everyone to get a piece. The room filled with hums and moans, which set them all laughing.

“You weren’t joking Matsuoka!” Hamasaki sighed, longingly looking at his quickly disappearing piece.

“I told you! He makes an amazing cake.”

“I envy you Makoto.” Sousuke mumbled around his bite and everyone agreed. Makoto smiled at Haru, who was leaning into his side, being fed bites from their one plate. The show started then and they all quieted down.

It featured a nice introduction into the club and its history, as well as facilities and then had another bit about Mizushima-san and his interview. They talked about how many good and great swimmers had passed through the club during the years then looked at the trio that had taken National titles. Mizushima-san was all smiley, especially when he announced Rin’s move to the club too.

They all had the same questions, with a portion of their practice having been filmed too. Hamasaki talked how his grandfather had taken him swimming for the first time and then encouraged his love for it, taking him to practices until he was old enough to go on his own, Mizushima-san talking about his potential which made him flush and Nagisa tease him. Rin snickered until it was suddenly his turn and he talked about his father and how he had died, his dream becoming Rin’s and his love for swimming. He sniffed and Sousuke had a handkerchief ready but nobody joked this time, they were aware how much it mattered to him. Instead they just sent him encouraging words which made him smile. His Australian coach was there for that part, talking how next year he’d be expanding the number of races he’d be entering too, even if butterfly would remain his primary discipline.

They introduced Haru then, and showed his national record breaking race. By then, he’d sort of tucked his head into the crook of Makoto’s neck and enjoyed Makoto’s arm around his shoulders. He just didn’t particularly like watching himself like that but Makoto was enraptured.

“When did you start swimming Nanase-san?” The reporter had asked, just like those before him.

“I’ve swam ever since I could remember.” Haru had said, his eyes far away. “I honestly don’t recall a time when I wasn’t swimming.”

“So you’ve swam before joining your first club then?”

“Yes.” Haru nodded once. “I’ve only joined because my best friend had asked me, I don’t think I would have otherwise.”

Makoto squeaked and Haru laughed. “It’s true and you know it.”

“I didn’t know Makoto got you into joining a club!” Nagisa exclaimed but Hamasaki had shushed her by then, so that they could hear.

They went through the same talk about the Nationals and how Haru had joined Ryuujin, Mizushima-san saying how he had seen him and knew right away that he had found a swimmer he had been looking for. Free had been the one discipline where they had been lacking.

“You were thinking of Nanase-san of course, when you said that we’d be seeing something incredible at our last interview, weren’t you?”

“Yes, yes I was and this is just the start. He’s still young and has a long way to go.” He then introduced Sousuke as one of his new junior coaches, praising him as someone who had a lot to do with Haru’s development and Haru could swear Sousuke was sort of sinking down in his chair right then. His face was certainly that of a nice pinkish shade but Haru was pleased and happy for him. It was the truth after all.

“Prodigies don’t come just in the form of swimmers, after all.” Mizushima-san laughed and Sousuke turned red on the screen, the room erupting in hollering and praises.

They were showing a portion of Haru’s swimming practice that they had filmed then and some of his interactions with both Sousuke and Mizushima-san and Rin laughed.

“Honestly Haru, could you be any more intense?”

Haru really didn’t see what the big deal was, he was just serious but Nagisa was nodding fervently and saying how he looked so imposing on screen. They returned to the reporter and him then, and this part made him smile, as he remembered it very well.

“We heard, and you told us as well, that you only swim free.” Haru nodded at that and the reporter continued. “We also heard though that you did swim the relay event too and that one of those people who swam with you, was actually Matsuoka Rin.”

“Ah, yes. When we were children, he joined that same club and we swam the relay then as kids.”

They invited Rin over then, who joined them smiling.

“Yes, it’s true. I’d joined the club because I wanted to swim with him. Those were times we all look at fondly now.”

“Did you ever swim against each other then?” The reporter was curious and Rin explained that they had in high school, saying they were both rivals and friends. Haru had just looked on indulgently, with a small smile on his face.

“But to answer your question, yes, we did swim against each other even then, at the start but we were so young, it was different.” Rin added as an afterthought.

“What he means is he lost then too.” Haru added in a deadpan voice.

“Oi!” Rin objected and then they had both grinned suddenly at each other, a shared camaraderie and history clearly shining through, the camera focusing on their faces.

“Would you consider swimming again, in a relay?” The reporter asked them both and Rin went into a pretty diplomatic answer how it would be an honour to be chosen to represent their countries, but then added a little tease how they had talked with Hamasaki Akira, a friend of theirs, about the possibility.

“There is just something about swimming relay with your friends.” Haru added and Rin nodded.

The story moved on then and they chattered about what they had seen, Haru enjoying Makoto’s fingers combing through his hair. He did snort at the way everyone helped themselves to more cake, including Makoto. “We’ll have to work that off somehow.” He whispered cheekily only to grin at Makoto’s red face.

They’d finished off their little get together with coffee and Haru actually ended up packing up some cake for them to take home. Rin had been laughing how Makoto had been left with just a bit upon which Makoto reminded him he was keeping the chef which meant he had a never ending supply. They waved everyone off then and by the time Makoto finally closed the door behind them, they both sighed, quite tired.

“It’s good that the other dishes were done, and it’s just the few plates and cups now, I am so tired.” Makoto slumped on the couch and Haru nodded from where he was standing at the table, collecting them all. “It had been so fun though! Watching that together.”

“They made the move easier too.”

“That’s true.” Makoto hauled himself to his feet then joined him carrying it all to the kitchen. “I’ll wash, you can rinse?” Haru nodded and they worked quickly.

“Oh I saw you were showing Nagisa around, did she like the place?”

“Of course.” Haru smiled. “She adores your display case idea for Akira’s medals and trophies, she’s going to do the same in their apartment.”

“Ah.” Makoto blushed. “I am sure she would have thought of it herself. Did she comment on the painting?”

“No.” Haru side-glanced at him. “I want us to unwrap it together and put it up. She can see it later.”

Makoto sent him a big smile, then gently kissed him. His hand went to cup Haru’s cheek automatically and then they both laughed. He had apparently forgotten he was washing dishes which left Haru blinking at the bubbles he could spy on his face.

“Oops?”

They laughed then quickly cleaned up, showered and got to bed. With Makoto cuddling him as usual, Haru thought of the day ahead, just the two of them, and looked forward to it before Makoto’s now steady puffs of air against his neck lulled him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Nagisa, she'll never get that story told! Some info on those two though, with more to come, especially about Akira but this had to be told now so that we can progress!  
> Next swim time we get Haru and Makoto being cuties and Rin pops up! XD  
> (Rin and I are still locked in combat, hopefully I can get that sorted for their (much smaller) story to start on Saturday too)


	25. Chapter 25

#  Chapter 25

 

“That’s it.”

Makoto clapped his hands and smiled. They had woken up pretty early and after a light breakfast, had gone straight to unpacking the boxes they’d brought over. Some they had decided to leave in the end, stacking them at the bottom of one of the wardrobes where they had plenty of room. Makoto went to finish putting the books up while Haru sorted out the laundry. They cleaned the apartment then, done nicely before lunch, which they wanted to make together.

“I like it when we do this together.” Makoto murmured next to his cheek, before stealing a quick kiss, and Haru smiled. “I’m glad it’s just us today. After all, it is Sunday.”

“I don’t want to lose our Sundays even if we’re living together.”

He blinked then suddenly laughed, quite obviously surprising Haru.

“Oh I just remembered.” He shook his head and handed Haru the next vegetable for chopping. “Way back, even before we agreed to them, and I must say, it’s one of my favourite things,” he followed this up with another quick kiss on Haru’s cheek, getting a pleased smile in return, “I actually thought about living with someone and had decided it would never work. Look at us now!” The smile on his face had to be huge but he didn’t mind one bit. It was how he was feeling at the moment, happy that life had brought him there, even with everything that had happened.

“When was this?” Haru wrinkled his nose.

“I think about the time I met Matsushita.”

“I am glad that you changed your mind.” Haru smirked and Makoto had to laugh again. “I had someone who helped in that.”

“Even if I steal your juice?”

Makoto couldn’t resist then, that small shy smile simply drawing him in, and he leaned forward, kissing Haru as gently as he could. “Even if you steal my juice.”

They quickly finished and set up the table, Makoto making sure to light a candle to make the occasion a little bit romantic too. He went and poured them drinks, then sat down finally. He raised his glass and waited for Haru to join him.

“To us.” They clinked glasses, smiling wide and sipped before Haru served them both.

Makoto was in the middle of inhaling his soup when Haru suddenly put down his bowl.

“What do you think about new curtains?”

“Eh?” He coughed, trying to clear his throat then glanced at the curtains. They seemed perfectly fine to him, he rather liked them in fact.

“New curtains? Would you like them?”

“Would you like new ones?” Makoto asked in return but Haru shook his head. “Oh.” He might as well answer honestly, though he was confused. “No, I rather like these but if you were thinking of changing them?”

“No, it’s fine.” Haru agreed and went back to his soup. Makoto peered at him, then decided to just let it be. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time Haru suddenly thought of something out of the blue.

He was in the middle of deciding what to choose next because everything looked so appetizing when Haru piped up again. “How about a carpet?”

This definitely sounded to him as Haru had something in mind and was just following whatever internal conversation he was having with himself. Of course this meant that he needed to ask.

“Haru?”

“You want a new carpet?”

“Why the questions?”

“It’s our home now, isn’t it?” Makoto was confused then but nodded anyway because it was their home. “Shouldn’t we both have a say then?”

“Oh.” He finally got what was troubling Haru and his heart was suffused with love in that instance. He didn’t want to wait but got up quickly, approached Haru’s chair and bent to kiss him, trying to convey just how much he felt towards him. When it finally ended, Haru was blinking up at him, looking more than pleasantly dazed and Makoto brought their lips together again in a chaste kiss, before sitting down.

“What did I say?” Haru smiled and Makoto shook his head. It’s precisely why he had been so affected. He was aware that Haru sometimes thought he wasn’t very good at romance or that he worried that he didn’t express what he felt for Makoto clearly enough but when he said or did things like this, he told Makoto all he needed to know.

“Thank you for asking but I feel at home already. We’re making those improvements later, aren’t we?” He waved at the walls, reminding him. “I’m sure other things will happen in time too and we’ll handle it together, but I already feel as if this is it. I have for a while now.”

“Me too.” Haru smiled shyly at him.

Makoto smiled back and caught his hand, squeezing in reassurance.

“So no carpet?”

Laughing, he shook his head. “We could go and buy another set of sheets, pick them out together?”

“For the bed?” Haru looked intrigued.

“Yes.” He was putting away the clean ones earlier and noticed they only had two sets. Another certainly wouldn’t be amiss. “I’d like that. Maybe after your finals, when all that is past you?” Makoto nodded and they both grinned. It would be their first trip to buy something for the house of that kind and he was already excited. It was silly more than likely but still, he simply was.

The idea that there’d be many more thrilled him to his toes.

They slowly finished eating, exchanging a word here or there, but for the most part it was a pleasant quiet and neither one was particularly inclined to break it. Makoto wasn’t sure if it was because they both had the desire for it after all the hustle and bustle of the previous weeks but it was not awkward in the least. He didn’t feel the need to speak, on the contrary it was quite restful.

Makoto washed the dishes then, with Haru wiping them down and they relaxed on the couch for a bit.

“I bought new tea for today.”

Haru hummed and tucked himself into Makoto’s side as was his custom. “It wouldn’t be the same without the tea.” Makoto turned and kissed his temple, his fingers playing with Haru’s hair. “It wouldn’t. I thought we could put the painting up first though?”

“I’d like that.” Haru agreed before yawning and rubbing his head against Makoto’s shoulder, his hands clenching in Makoto’s sweater.

“Sleepy?” Makoto smiled at Haru’s little movements. He was obviously getting comfortable against Makoto. It never ceased to make him giggle inside his head as it reminded him of a kitten kneading the comfy spot. Of course, Makoto had always been good with cats.

“A bit.” Another yawn and some blinking followed that statement and Makoto was incapable of resisting it. He hauled Haru into his lap and proceeded to kiss him. Exploring Haru’s mouth was something he’d never tire off so he indulged, enjoying Haru’s little moans and hitches in breath. He finally ended their kiss, a little whine leaving Haru’s lips at that, and Makoto showered him with quick, silly little pecks all over his face in reply. Haru giggled then, resting his head in the crook of Makoto’s neck.

“I don’t want to move.”

“Lazy.” He smiled into Haru’s hair then, caressing his back and snorted at the head nod he could feel then.

“I like it when we’re like this, it’s half your fault.”

Makoto threaded his fingers in Haru’s hair, and pulled slightly, getting him to lift his head before kissing him again. “Yes, it is. I admit.” That elicited a smile from Haru. “I like it when we’re like this too.”

“I’m going to miss this when I’m away. I’m excited about going but I’m going to miss it.” Haru’s hands clenched in his shirt again and Makoto sighed. He dreamed they could go together and at times like this a tiny part of him even wished he could have been the one to coach Haru. “So am I.” He was certain they’d be fine though, and Haru would have so many stories to tell him once he came back. _Well, stories might be pushing it._ He bit his lip in order to prevent himself from laughing and then nudged the man in his lap.

“Come on. Let’s do this.”

Haru quickly scrambled off, suddenly appearing eager too and then held out his hand, which Makoto gladly took. The bedroom window was open and the spring sunshine was illuminating the room, making Makoto feel like even the nature was setting the mood for the occasion. It was a silly thought but then at least he could be as silly as he wanted in his own head, there was no one there to judge him. He smiled then got the painting from where it was leaning on the nightstand and carefully laid it on the bed. Haru handed him the small knife and he unpacked it with quick, efficient snips.

“Do we place it just above the bed?” He looked at Haru who was standing at the foot of the bed now, his head slowly turning as if to take in the entire space.

“Yes, the light won’t fall directly on it but it’ll still be in the most visible place.” He nodded decisively then scrambled onto the bed, Makoto turning around to get him the nails and hammer. It didn’t take long after that and Haru was beckoning him over.

They put it up together, each at one end, and then plopped back on the bed. Haru sprawled on his back, leaning on his elbows, and Makoto joined him.

“It’s beautiful.”

Haru hummed, then tilted his head, still looking at the images.

“There’s space.”

Makoto wasn’t quite sure what he meant. He glanced at the painting but as all three parts were now painted, it was complete. “Space? But you’ve finished it.”

“On the wall. There’s space, for more.”

The words may have been softly spoken but to Makoto, it was as if Haru had shouted them. He rolled over then, covering Haru’s body with his own, sealing their mouths in a kiss. He tried conveying everything he felt through it, how he too wanted them to have more such moments in their future, how above all he wanted to see that future together with Haru by his side.

“Yes.” He said and then kissed him again, Haru relaxing on the bed fully and his arms coming around Makoto’s neck, drawing him forward. They kissed, slow, long kisses, their bodies moulded together, and he simply couldn’t bring himself to stop. He didn’t feel the passion rising, like it usually did. It was more like promises and words of endearment and hopes and dreams, being exchanged between them.

“Yes.” He repeated then and Haru smiled at him, making Makoto’s eyes water. He didn’t think he could ever adequately express how he felt about him, not to mention that his feelings kept expanding all the time. “I love you so much Haru.” He used the only ones he could, even if he wished he could say more but then the way Haru’s arms tightened, he knew that even if they were simple enough, Haru got the meaning of everything behind them.

He let those arms draw him closer and his head rested on Haru’s shoulder, Haru’s lips leaving a little trail of kisses on his temple, his hair, his cheek. “I know.” Haru’s whispered words struck him and he was unmanned by them. Makoto breathed in, feeling like there wasn’t enough air in his lungs, before burying his head in Haru’s shoulder. He wanted Haru to be sure of it, to not have a moment of doubt of Makoto’s feelings for him. To know that Haru did know that he was loved made him so happy.

“I want you to know I love you too.” He nodded at Haru’s words, even happier that he was certain it meant the same to Haru. And he did know Haru loved him, there was no way not to believe his words when everything he did backed that up. Makoto raised his head, bringing their lips together again before smiling what he knew was a watery smile.

“I want to make us tea.”

“I’d like that.”

He scrambled off the bed then offered Haru a hand. Their fingers intertwined and he tugged, helping him to stand up but Haru didn’t stop and almost flowed into Makoto’s embrace, once he was on his feet. His hands tighten around Makoto, a reassurance and affirmation, and then they finally headed towards the kitchen where Makoto made them tea and Haru sat behind the counter, in silence, just observing him.

Even a year ago, he’d have been unnerved by the focus but now he just luxuriated in the knowledge that Haru was watching him so intently.

“Bedroom?” He asked once it was ready and the aroma of the tea mixture was slowly starting to scent the air. Haru just nodded, then helped him take everything there. They settled on the bed, the tea set between them, cups in hands. He looked at the painting, the man across from him, and their tea, and felt something in him settle. He was home.

It was the best feeling in the world.

Makoto inhaled the scent then and smiled, it was light and soothing, perfect for the moment. The shop assistant had asked him to give it a try since they hadn’t tried white tea before and he did say it was a special occasion.

He watched carefully as Haru took a sip and then his eyes closed, a humming sound coming from his mouth. Makoto smiled, knowing that meant he liked it and took a sip himself. It truly was as divine as they had said, the feeling of summer, full of flavour.

“This is different. I like it.”

He focused on Haru’s words then, grinning. “It’s white tea. White peach actually.”

“I really like it.” Haru said again and smiled.

“Does this mean we should get more?” Makoto asked just to be sure but he was pretty certain he hadn’t even finished the sentence properly before Haru started nodding. He laughed, happy it was a success and made a mental note to pick out a few more blends. After all, he loved it too.

They sipped their teas, occasionally exchanging lazy kisses.

He was just done with his second cup, his eyes closing with a happy, satisfied sigh when Haru took the cup out of his hands. Makoto blinked, opening his eyes and watched him put everything on the tray, before taking it to the kitchen. He didn’t feel like moving though, so he simply laid back, his head on the pillows and sighed happily. The sounds of water running were coming from the distance, making him smile. It’s what made him think of this place as home, signs that Haru was there with him.

It didn’t take long before the man in question returned. The bed dipped and then Haru was snuggling up to him, dragging a blanket along. He lifted one of his arms and Haru tucked himself in against his side, head resting on Makoto’s chest. Makoto helped him drag the blanket over both of them, tucking them in.

He relaxed then and let sleep take him.

~~

Makoto woke up to the sounds of the window being closed. He blinked into the dim light of a late afternoon and slowly stretched. He was refreshed and yet didn’t feel like budging. From the day onwards he would be swamped in papers and studying, as the semester was drawing to a close so now he wanted to soak up as much rest as he could, storing that energy away for the days to come.

Turning his head, he saw Haru rubbing his eyes and smiled, extending his hand in invitation. He got a smile back and Haru clambered back on the bed, covering Makoto’s body with his own.

“Hey.”

It was such a Haru thing to say so Makoto raised up a bit, silently asking for a kiss. Haru’s head dipped and he nipped at Makoto’s lower lip, making Makoto shiver, before gently laving it with his tongue, soothing the small sting. When Haru’s tongue demanded entrance, he easily granted it, letting Haru explore. He couldn’t stop himself from moving then, his arms going around Haru’s back, indulging in small caresses.

They kissed for a while, Makoto letting Haru set the pace and just enjoying it all. When Haru’s lips moved on to his neck, he craned his head to give him more room and then groaned at the attention he was receiving. Haru’s hands tugged at his sweater and he helped him dispose of it, then the shirt underneath and he shivered when the slightly cooler air hit his heated skin.

Haru scooted to sit on Makoto’s thighs before his hands returned to Makoto’s shoulders, slowly moving downwards, caressing the muscles along the way. His eyes were closing, the touches sensual and teasing. He moved his hips to allow Haru to get rid of all of his clothes then tugged him forward again, demanding another kiss. He shivered when Haru pressed their lips together, his still clothed form rubbing sensuously over Makoto’s exposed skin. That he was naked compared to Haru who was fully dressed made him feel decadent and sent his desire spiking.

When Haru moved lower, he stretched slowly, knowing that Haru was watching his every movement. He could see Haru’s eyes roam all over his body and he was ridiculously pleased that Haru liked what he saw. No, he loved it, if Makoto were to judge by the way his hands twitched on Makoto’s thighs where they were resting.

Makoto moaned softly when Haru resumed his ministrations, except this time his lips had joined his hands, leaving open mouthed kisses on his sternum, down his stomach and towards his cock. He had to fist his hands into the sheets when that wet, hot mouth swallowed him. His hips wanted to move and he had a hard time keeping them still but one of Haru’s arms came to rest across them and he breathed a sigh of relief. It didn’t last long because Haru was making all sorts of tantalizing noises while he sucked and licked and Makoto groaned as there was no way this wouldn’t end fast if he let Haru have his way like this.

He threaded his fingers into Haru’s hands and gently pulled, groaning when Haru let his mouth slip off his cock with a soft pop. He was frowning but Makoto would not let himself be deterred even the notion of coming was practically singing to him. He pushed himself up then tugged, until Haru got the idea and laughed. He plopped himself down on his back, as if to say go ahead, and Makoto grinned before kissing him passionately.

Haru’s clothes were quickly disposed of and he took his turn now in enjoying the sight of that body being laid out in front of him. His fingers and mouth followed the path his eyes had taken previously and he smiled at the ways Haru’s body twitched and shuddered at it all. His hand grasped Haru’s erection, causing his hips to buck and he gave it a few lazy pumps, before swiping the head with his thumb. Haru moaned then whined when he let go, but the small complaint soon turned into more sounds of satisfaction as Makoto pushed his legs apart and gave his hole a few licks and jabs. He marvelled how he could actually see Haru’s muscle quiver and made sure to give them proper attention.

He groped around a bit for lube before he realized they hadn’t actually taken it out and laughed softly.

“Poor planning.”

The nightstand seemed miles away but Haru waved him off, laughing too and stretched to get their supplies. A sound of rummaging then triumph and Makoto soon had what he needed. Coating his fingers he took his time preparing Haru, drawing it out a little more than necessary, just trying to give him as much pleasure as possible.

“Makoto.” A tortured sigh and he knew it was time. He quickly put on the condom, then coated it in more lube before positioning himself and slowly pushing in. Haru sighed and he waited for the signal that he could move further. The feeling of incredible tightness was almost welcome because he was sure it was actually keeping him from spilling too early. Haru’s hips twitched and he moved again, repeating the process until he was fully sheeted.

He promised himself he would get Haru to make love to him this way soon because the idea sounded more and more appealing to him but then he focused on where they were at that moment and Haru’s hands that reached out towards him. Makoto lowered himself carefully then brought their lips together. Haru’s tongue teased his then withdrew, a coy invitation that he took gladly, exploring his mouth, and then mimicking the very slight movements of his own body. Haru’s arms came around his back now, pressing slightly but he wouldn’t be hurried, he fully intended to draw this out as long as possible and make it last.

Keeping his thrusts shallow and slow, Makoto kept on kissing him, until Haru practically whined, his hands thumping above his head on the pillow, body arching into Makoto’s in a silent plea for more. Makoto caught Haru’s hands with his own, their fingers intertwining above Haru’s head, before he finally stepped up the pace a little bit, thrusting harder and faster. Haru’s body moved with his, his legs wrapping around Makoto’s waist, causing Makoto to emit a little whine of his own.

Their lips met again in a heated kiss before his eyes were almost drawn to Haru’s. His body start moving even faster, both of them panting, Haru’s fingers flexing against Makoto’s but not letting go. Feeling he had held on as much as he could have, Makoto let his desire take over, and he thrust hard and fast, little cries leaving Haru’s lips, only to be swallowed by Makoto’s lips on his. His body though answered Makoto’s every thrust and demanded more, their union quickly spiralling out of control, heading towards culmination.

His stomach muscles were tightening, signalling that he was close so he changed the angle of his thrusts several times before Haru’s cry told him he’d found that sweet spot. His thrusts were hard and merciless then, both of their voices mingling in the air and finally Haru’s whole body spasmed. His inner muscles contracted around Makoto and another thrust was all he could manage before he also found his peak.

Their hands remained connected and once he managed to catch his breath, Makoto raised his head and looked into Haru’s face. It was flushed and sweaty but he was smiling up at Makoto who finally released his hands, cupping Haru’s face and gently kissed him. Haru’s hands came around his shoulders and pressed down, making sure that Makoto wouldn’t move.

They stayed connected until they both started feeling the sweat on their bodies cool, making it slightly uncomfortable, so Makoto slowly withdrew. He got rid of the condom, and then turned back to Haru who was now lazily stretching. Makoto groaned because he couldn’t get hard again that fast after such a mind-blowing orgasm but his body still twitched at the sight.

“I’m going to run us a bath.”

Haru inclined his head, his eyes half closed, a content hum leaving his lips and Makoto padded to the bathroom, letting the water run. He found their bath oil, then poured a generous amount and got the cloth they’d need. He poked his head out to the bathroom, where Haru had already gotten up and was stretching again.

“You’re too tempting.”

A smirk graced Haru’s face and he stalked over to Makoto, wrapping his arms around Makoto’s neck, kissing him. They lost themselves in each other and his brain was growing pleasantly fuzzy until one of Haru’s fingers poked him. “The bath is going to overflow.”

He squeaked then jumped to turn off the tap. Luckily, it was just fine and he grumbled at Haru for scaring him before getting in and sighing. The warm water was divine to his sore muscles. Haru joined him then, relaxing against him and groaning.

“Heaven.”

Makoto could only hum in agreement because it truly was. His arms closed around Haru’s middle, drawing him close and he relaxed, feeling sated. A bit later, Haru turned in his embrace, his lips leaving small, quick kisses over Makoto’s skin before he tilted his head up in an invite that Makoto gladly took. “Way too tempting.” Haru snorted with laughter, before running his hands over Makoto’s skin.

They smiled and kissed some more, before Haru tugged him up and then stuffed a loofa into Makoto’s hands. Makoto snickered and got to washing. “Since I helped make a mess, I better help clean up.” Haru just nodded seriously but once Makoto was done, he took over, gently washing Makoto’s body too. They rinsed off, then grabbed some clothes before getting to the living room.

“I’ll go grab us some dinner, there’re plenty of leftovers.”

Makoto hummed in agreement, looking for the remote. “I’ll try and find something to watch. A movie would be nice.”

It didn’t take long before Haru showed up with a tray laden with food. Makoto took it, letting Haru find a comfortable spot next to him on the couch, which of course meant he tucked himself into Makoto’s side and they nibbled their way through an action movie that Makoto thought probably caused way more giggles and laughter than its creator intended. They still enjoyed it and Haru popped over to the kitchen to leave their now empty dishes.

Makoto was enthralled with a bizarre action sequence because his brain just would not accept it as possible and yet it looked pretty cool when a brown blob appeared in front of his eyes. He refocused and then his face split into a smile.

“I can’t believe you made it.”

Haru smiled back, obviously happy to see Makoto so thrilled with his little surprise.

“Page 124. It got a bit crazy there after the meet but I remembered. The other cake was a good cover. And it’s a special day.”

Makoto felt his heart swell again and he could just nod and kiss Haru, before he took his treat and licked his lips.

“Now who’s tempting.” Haru grumbled, making him laugh but he wasted no more time before biting into the chocolate. He moaned, loving the gooey centre. “It’s even better than I thought it would be.”

“Good. I’ve left the rest in the fridge, so that you can have some during your studies next week when you need a break.” Haru kissed him then patted his hand, before grabbing his fruit yoghurt. Makoto thanked him happily then slowly ate the whole thing, completely forgetting about the movie but then once he did start paying attention, he was able to get back into it fast.

They bickered over who the main baddie was and then laughed when both of them turned out to be wrong and the most obvious bad guy was in fact, the bad guy.

“I don’t think too much thinking is required here.” Haru mussed before they both cheered at a huge explosion. “But it sure is fun.”

They didn’t move much for the rest of the evening, finding another once the first one was finished and just enjoyed the final moments of a perfect day.

~~

“All gone.”

Makoto murmured to himself as he mournfully scraped off the last of the dessert off the bottom of the small dish, then licked his spoon.

It was Thursday and his brain was mush. He had of course known that the days leading up to the finals would be difficult and had tried to do as much studying as he could before but right about now he was ready to simply burn everything to the ground and flop into bed to sleep for a week. Haru’s little desserts had been life savers, a perfect pick me up whenever he needed a boost but at the moment he’d prefer Haru himself.

He was absent though, his practice extending to a little club get together that he absolutely could not avoid. He had toyed with the idea but Makoto had been insistent that he needed to meet his fellow swimmers, especially as the group would contain those who were not in Ryuujin itself. Haru may not be social but it was in his interest to be cordial to them so Makoto had seen him off that morning, telling him to just try and have fun.

Makoto himself was at the point where it definitely wasn’t fun. He had a feeling that before long things were going to start jumbling up in his head. That scholarship was shining just ahead of him though so he refused to back down. He had another hour or so before Haru would be home so he decided to keep at it. Overdoing would do him no good either, as he had learned the hard way, but he could still put in some more time.

He sighed then focused on his book again. It turned out the little break had done him good because he had no trouble remembering the text. Scribbling down something in his notebook, he was just about to go on to another chapter when his phone rang.

He considered not picking up but when he saw the name of the caller, he thought better of it. “Nagisa, hello.”

“Ah, Makoto, I know you’re studying, sorry for the interruption.”

“It’s all right. Aren’t you as well?” He frowned because she had even more to do than he did. After all she was approaching the end of her studies and was completely swamped.

“I am indeed. It’s why I’m calling.” She sighed and he could hear papers rustling in the background. “All this studying is doing my head in, I need a break. We need a break. You don’t even have to tell me, I know you, have you even stopped for the last few days? And you were already working hard before that.”

“Eh. Well…” He stammered because it was the truth and honestly, there was no reason to deny it.

“Tomorrow’s Friday and we deserve a little break. Nothing big, but going to the movies sounds like fun. We’d go out, have coffee and enjoy for a few hours. You can go back to work after though I’d really advise a good night’s sleep. Take it from me Makoto, I’ve been through these before. It’d be just us, Shiro and Haru, a small group.” She laughed lightly and he had to admit she was right. Plus a small break would do him good so he had no qualms about accepting. They arranged to meet at a café first, then said their good byes.

He returned to his studies and managed to go through several new chapters before deciding it was time to stop for the day and simply revise. It was going well and he was quite pleased by the time Haru’s keys could be heard in the lock.

“I’m back.”

Makoto smiled, then got up. Haru seemed tired and indeed, he yawned as if prodded.

“Welcome home.” The words still sent a thrill down Makoto’s spine whenever he said, or heard them. He suspected they always would. “Did you have fun?” He took Haru’s bag so that he could get his outwear off and put it on one of the chairs. It was stuffed to the brim so he realized Haru must have brought some of the clothes he kept at the club in case of emergencies or occasions like the one from that night, to wash.

“Some. Akira, Rin and Yamazaki were there.”

“Anyone new?” Makoto prodded a bit, and Haru shrugged. “A few people.” He seemed tired and preoccupied but since he didn’t say anything else, Makoto just drew him into a hug. Haru would talk when he was ready. A satisfied hum reached him, Haru’s arms coming around him. “I’m interrupting your studying, sorry.” Haru didn’t make any moves to get himself out of Makoto’s embrace though, so he just tightened his hold and rocked him slowly. “You’re not. I need my Haru fix too. It’ll get me through the rest of the night.” Another hum and Makoto smiled. He rubbed Haru’s back and sensed him slowly relaxing.

“Thank you.” Haru tilted his chin up, smiling and Makoto kissed him. There was nothing to thank him for but he understood the need to say it. “I’m going to take a bath to relax.” Haru slowly moved away and Makoto let him.

“I’ll go back to my studying. We can have tea after you’re done?”

“I’d like that.” Haru deposited a quick kiss on his cheek, then picked up his bag and headed to the bedroom, while Makoto turned back towards his desk and studies. It was like he’d eaten a few more of those cakes suddenly and got to work with renewed enthusiasm.

It was another hour before Haru re-emerged and Makoto got through everything he had wanted for the day. He got up, stretching because his back was all tight from constantly being hunched over and yawned. “I am done for the night, no more. I don’t think I could even if I had to.”

Haru went into the kitchen and Makoto followed, curious.

“I’m going to make us a few sandwiches too.”

As if called by that, Makoto’s stomach grumbled and he smiled sheepishly. “I’d love that. I had a spot of dinner earlier but I’m still hungry.” Haru started getting supplies from the fridge. Makoto opened up their tea cupboard and scratched his chin. They both needed something soothing and simple, he decided and grabbed one of the classic ones.

He set the water to boil then snagged a tomato from Haru’s vegetable pile. Haru blinked slowly at him, then looked at the vegetables then back at Makoto and Makoto had to restrain himself from laughing. He’d obviously interfered with some carefully laid out plan about the food but really, he couldn’t help himself. They looked so inviting. Haru got more tomatoes in the meantime and left three on the side. “You can steal those.”

“Ah but it’s not the same when you leave them like that.” Makoto pouted but then grabbed another anyway. “They’re so good!”

“They’ll be even better in your sandwich.” Haru slowly nodded, while adding some sliced ham. Makoto's mouth watered so grabbed the tomatoes, before turning away to distract himself from the desire to steal a few slices of it too. It didn’t take long before the water boiled and he put the tea to steep and Haru was also done by then, cleaning everything up. Makoto snorted at the amount Haru considered “a few” these days, it definitely could not be compared to how they used to eat. But with his training and the instructions to eat properly, those days were gone.

Moving to the living room, they opted for the couch. Haru put some music on, and Makoto sighed happily. He wasn’t much for television either, not with how his head was full and this was relaxing. They piled the sandwiches on their plates, then Makoto poured their tea. “I shouldn’t be this hungry.”

“You’ve been studying a lot, it’s no surprise.”

Makoto shrugged before taking a bite and sighing with happiness. He was lost in food land for a while then, until he remembered Nagisa.

“Oh! Nagisa called.”

Haru raised his eyebrow in question as he was currently occupied with his own food.

“She invited us out tomorrow, for a movie. A study break of a sorts. I said yes, I hope that’s fine?”

Haru nodded, then swallowed. “Sounds good. She’s right too, you do need a break. And I need one too if I were being honest.”

This surprised Makoto because as long as he had known Haru, he never complained about too much swimming. His practices were demanding but usually he didn’t talk about needing breaks.

“It’s not a break from swimming itself.” Makoto smiled because Haru truly could read his mind sometimes. “It’s all that surrounds it these days. There’s another interview scheduled due to the Invitational, and there’re more sponsor talks and preparations for the trip. And tonight wasn’t particularly relaxing, it was almost like work.”

He definitely understood that. The world of swimming was so much more these days for Haru and now that he thought about it, Makoto didn’t find it surprising it was also stressful too especially the parts where he had to socialize. He was glad Rin was in Japan now more than ever because that meant he would be able to help out and jump in if he noticed something was going amiss.

“Tomorrow will do us both good then. I have a suspicion Nagisa is going to pick out the movie though.” He laughed then popped another bit into his mouth, chewing contently. Haru made mean sandwiches too.

“As long as it is not scary, as I don’t think that’d be relaxing for you.”

Makoto's eyes popped open. He had not considered that option.

“Maybe I should text her.”

“It’s Nagisa. If you text her about it, she’ll make sure we end up seeing something scary.”

Sighing, Makoto could only agree. She would. “Well, nothing to be done about it now. Hopefully it’ll be something funny instead of a horror.”

“It’s Nagisa.” Haru nodded sagely and Makoto was only more afraid of what might expect them tomorrow. Then Haru smirked and he wanted to throw a tomato at him.

“You’re terrible.”

Haru leaned over and kissed him briefly before smiling. “You love me anyway.”

Feeling a huge smile bloom on his face, Makoto could only shrug. After all, it was the truth.

~~

Haru checked the time once again and sighed. He was cutting it close but he’d make it with enough to spare. A shower was a must because there was no way they were going out with him not having one but now he was sure he’d be fine. Unlocking the door, he stormed in only to almost run into Makoto.

“Ah! You’re home!” He was being kissed then and Haru thought how he loved being greeted like this. He would not mind if it never changed, on the contrary, he wished for it not to. “I was wondering if I’d have to call Nagisa and tell them we’d meet later.” Makoto shrugged, as it if to show that even if he had had to, it would have been all right.

“I got held up.” Haru stood on tiptoes, stealing another kiss then quickly started undressing. “Mizushima-san asked if I could give another short interview due to the Invitational in a few weeks and I couldn’t very well say no. It really was brief luckily so we’re going to be on time.” He threw his clothes into the hamper, Makoto following him along. “How did the studying go?” He hopped into the shower, Makoto handing him the shampoo and gel.

“It went well, I am so glad I did all that work prior to now because it’s all coming together nicely. It’s still a lot to handle and I think my head’s about to explode but it’s going well.”

Washing his hair, Haru nodded then realized Makoto couldn’t see him. “I can only imagine. This break will do us both good.” He quickly soaped then rinsed his body, and just enjoyed a few moments under the warm water. His muscles were slowly loosening up, the tension seeping out of his body and feeling much better, he stepped out then, only to be greeted with a towel being held by Makoto. He thanked him with a smile then dried off.

“I’m going to get dressed while you dry your hair.” Haru smiled, then patted Makoto’s behind on his way out, making him laugh, and then focused on getting ready. He didn’t much like blow drying his hair but a cold was out of the question at that moment, so needs must. Warm air hit him and he had to close his eyes, thinking that Makoto was right and he did need a haircut. That it’d mean less time suffering this torture would only be a bonus of course.

By the time he emerged from the bathroom Makoto was standing in his pants only, staring at the closet. Haru felt a spike of need deep in his belly at the sight of his powerful back and he could not stop himself from crossing the room quickly, then caressing the strong shoulders and muscles.

Makoto groaned, his head falling back. “Haru.” He understood that it was probably bad timing but he couldn’t help himself, he looked so good. Laying a kiss on his shoulder, he let his arms circle Makoto’s chest. “You only have yourself to blame.” A soft snort was his answer, Makoto’s arms covering his own.

“We won’t be back late.”

Haru smiled thinking that Makoto had the right of it and after depositing another kiss on his lips this time, he moved back. They discussed what to wear but since it was a casual night, they both opted for simple v-necks. Haru thought it did absolutely nothing to hide how good Makoto looked, on the contrary and decided that he rather liked that he’d have glimpses of that body teasing him all night. Granted, it’d probably become sweet torture at some point but he still relished the idea.

“Ready?” He nodded at Makoto’s question, then turned off the light behind them. Checking if he had his phone, he put on his jacket and shoes, and joined Makoto who was already waiting outside. He locked the door, stuffed the keys into his inner pocket to make sure not to lose them, and they were off. The train ride passed quickly and soon they were strolling hand in hand down one of the lanes, among many other couples who also decided to take advantage of a beautiful spring evening.

Makoto inhaled deeply then smiled at him. “It’s so lovely outside, I hope Nagisa chose something where we don’t have to sit indoors. Seems like it’d be a waste of a nice evening to do so.”

“She seems to know a lot of great places so let’s hope this is another one.”

They waited for her and Shiro at the agreed place, Makoto watching the people going by, Haru watching Makoto. That is until Makoto noticed him. “What?” A soft smile graced his lips but Haru just shook his head and smiled back. He simply liked watching him and he wasn’t sure he could quite explain that.

“Haru! Makoto!” Nagisa’s voice snapped them out of their little bubble and they turned towards the sound. She was as bubbly as always, this time in an easily noticeable red skirt. Haru smiled, then blinked when she hugged him in greeting. Patting her back, he grinned when she turned to hug Makoto with equal enthusiasm. She was truly irrepressible. Shiro greeted them both with much more aplomb and then they were off.

“It’s close to here. I love it, it’s one of my favourite places.” She was smiling at them both, tugging Shiro along who seemed perfectly happy to follow her. It truly didn’t take long before they reached the café that indeed had an outdoor seating section. It was also sort of tucked away with trees surrounding it and Haru thought she chose really well.

“How do you find these places Nagisa? This is so great.” Makoto had a large, happy smile on his face and she grinned back at him.

“I was born here, remember?” She giggled then shrugged. “There’s still so much to discover here in Tokyo! Just when you think you’re getting the hang of it, more things pop up! You’ll see once you spend a few years here.” She pointed them towards a table that was close to one of the trees, and they seated themselves, Shiro sitting next to her.

“We found this one together actually.” He added, and Haru wondered if this was the first time the man joined one of their conversations. “We were also looking for a break during our studies and were just walking around aimlessly when we spotted it last year.”

Haru wanted to ask what the man was studying but it was a bit awkward that he didn’t already know that, considering how long they’ve known him. “Shiro’s finishing his engineering studies,” Nagisa cut in and Haru was grateful for it. Makoto asked how difficult it was, having heard nightmare stories which got the man laughing and launching into a series of humorous ones. Their coffees arrived and the conversations flowed so Haru relaxed back, enjoying himself. He could see now what Nagisa saw in Shiro; while much quieter, he was quite smart and funny, and his calm and steady presence worked well with her bubbly one. It truly was no wonder they’d been together for a few years now.

“So, what are we going to see?” Makoto asked during a lull in the conversation and Haru had to fight not to snicker. He disliked scary films so Haru hoped it wasn’t one. There were benefits in Makoto clinging to him throughout the movie but he did want him to relax.

“I was thinking a comedy?” Nagisa looked at them and Makoto quickly agreed. “Sounds great!” He looked at Haru expectantly, obviously hoping for support.

“I would love a comedy.” 

Shiro was poking his phone, obviously checking what the options were. “Night at the Museum is playing. The first one was pretty good, how about that? Oh wait, you have seen the previous ones, right?” They all nodded and then decided that it sounded like a good choice. There was no reason to hurry either, as they had over an hour to go so they finished their drinks slowly before strolling to the theatre.

“Are we getting popcorn to share?” He glanced quickly at Makoto who smiled at him, nodding.

“Of course. It wouldn’t be a proper movie night otherwise.”

The theatre was pretty crowded, not surprising really as it was Friday night and Makoto and Nagisa went to the bathroom while Shiro and Haru got in line for the tickets.

“When is the Invitational? I want to come and cheer for you guys if I can.” Shiro sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I work part time too so it’s massively difficult to find free time.”

Haru raised his eyebrows, thinking how juggling both such difficult studies and work must be exhausting. “End of May, so two weekends from now.” He thought a bit about how Shiro had missed both events Nagisa had been at, and wondered how difficult it was on the man. He must have wanted to be there for his girlfriend. “I’m sure Nagisa understands.”

“She’s great.” He smiled but his shoulders were still slumped. “I still wish I could be there, at least sometimes. I’m definitely going to try and reserve at least one day off then.”

“I’m sure it’s going to be fine and even if you can’t make it, just wanting to support everyone is enough for us you know.”

“Thank you Nanase.”

“It’s nothing.” Haru wished he could say something better but since Shiro seemed in better spirits then, he left it at that. They got their tickets then waited for the other two in the hall.

“We’re here!” Makoto soon joined them and Nagisa was right behind him. Haru handed him the tickets then went to the bathroom himself. That second coffee really had been too much. He strolled down the hall on his way back, getting them snacks and popcorn, and Makoto smiled at him when he saw him come back. They took their seats then, chatting about things until the movie started.

Haru let Makoto hold their popcorn, and they ate it slowly. He quickly realized he’d have to be careful as the movie was quite funny. Makoto almost choking on his at one point supported this. The plot moved at a pretty fast pace and they went through them without even realizing so that in the end their hands met, with no popcorn to be found. Makoto snorted at the romantic cliché, and Haru had to bite his lip too, but in the end they just put away the now empty bag, while their fingers remained intertwined. He rather liked this turn of events and thought since it was dark, he could also lean onto Makoto. They watched the rest of the movie, Nagisa’s joyous laughter setting them off as much as the events on screen.

Haru was shaking his head by the time the movie ended, he’d had so much fun and then he had to laugh one more time when he saw Makoto wiping his eyes. “That was so good!” Haru could only nod because it truly was. They slowly left the theatre, Nagisa still cackling now and again, imitating some of the scenes and even Shiro was cracking up at her antics.

“Thank you so much for this.” Makoto hugged her and she smiled. “I didn’t pick the movie!”

“It was your suggestion to go though, I don’t think I realized how much I needed it until now. I feel so relaxed.” Haru nodded at Makoto’s words, it was true enough. They stood there for a bit, laughing and joking, before finally parting ways.

“I am so glad we went!” Makoto swung their joint hands and Haru laughed. He couldn’t remember the last time when Makoto seemed so carefree and he was overjoyed to see it. He was pretty relaxed himself and squeezed Makoto’s hand. That was the best he could do at that moment, considering they were in public. He was about to say that to Makoto when he suddenly stopped, tugging Haru to a halt as well. Not knowing what happened, he saw Makoto staring and then turned in that direction.

“Rin?”

“Oh. Haru. Makoto. Hello.” Rin sketched a wave and Haru just stared. He was with one of the female swimmers from a couple of days ago, though Haru couldn’t recall her name. She was from their club and had been quite successful at Nationals herself. Rin was steadily growing more red in the face and Makoto finally cleared his throat, snapping Haru out of it.

“Hello Rin.”

Haru glanced at Makoto, his soft voice sounding somewhat uncertain but he had put on a small smile anyway. He wasn’t surprised, Makoto always tried being nice to people. Haru just inclined his head though, he truly couldn’t find it in himself to do more at the moment. Rin introduced her to Makoto then and they exchanged some pleasantries but the air around them seemed uncomfortable.

“You two on a date?” Rin asked and Makoto smiled. “Yes. Well, Nagisa and Shiro were with us too, you just missed them.” Haru thought that it was probably a blessing, considering. Makoto was continuing though and Haru was absurdly grateful that he kept the conversation going. “I needed a break from studying, and Nagisa and Shiro are in the same boat, plus even Haru was ready for some mindless fun.”

“Oh right, your finals are coming up.”

Makoto just nodded and the conversation sort of hung in the air for a few seconds. Haru just wanted to get home at that point, so he squeezed Makoto’s hand.

“We’re off now, you two have fun.” Makoto smiled. “An early night is a must for me I’m afraid, so much to do.” Haru waved then, and they finally said their, somewhat awkward, goodbyes.

They walked in silence for a while until they reached their station and Makoto finally burst out, making Haru smile for the first time in the last half an hour.

“What is going on?!”

Haru sighed and leaned into Makoto, he couldn’t wait to get home so he could cuddle up to him properly. “We met her the other night.”

“Oh.” Makoto’s small sigh made him look up and he saw a peculiar expression on his face. “I thought you seemed preoccupied when you got home that day. Was that why?”

Haru was about to explain but their train arrived and so he left it all for later. Their apartment seemed like an oasis for him at that point, and the tension seeped out of him as soon as they reached it. He went straight for the kitchen, pulling out ingredients for hot chocolate, Makoto joining him once he cleaned up a bit. He didn’t say anything but just sat down on one of the chairs and kept him company until Haru finished. They both took a mug and moved to the living room, Haru finally doing what he had wanted for a while now, which was curl up against Makoto on their couch. One of Makoto’s arms tucked him in closer and he hummed contentedly.

Makoto didn’t ask any questions but Haru shrugged anyway. “It was pretty obvious even to me.”

“During the night out? That he was interested?”

“That she was.” Haru huffed. “I thought I was reading it wrong at first, you know how I get but by the end there, it was clear even to me.”

“If you noticed, Sousuke definitely noticed. He’s completely focused on Rin.” Makoto sighed then took a sip of his chocolate. “Oh I love it when you add almond, it adds a certain something.” He licked his lips as if to try and chase the remains and Haru had to stretch up, seeking a kiss. Makoto smiled and brought their lips together then, Haru humming over the blend of chocolate and that unique taste that was Makoto.

“I prefer Makoto.” He smiled when they finally parted. “But chocolate is all right too.”

That got him soundly kissed again but he couldn’t really complain when it made his toes curl.

The quiet stretched then but it was not uncomfortable, on the contrary, Haru found it quite soothing. They sipped their chocolates and cuddled a bit, exchanging kisses occasionally. He still thought about the Rin of it, his mind just would not give him peace.

“I don’t understand.”

Makoto huffed, then leaned over to leave their mugs on the table before tugging Haru onto his chest, his arms coming around him. “I don’t know. I feel bad about asking him to explain but if he doesn’t, we can’t know for sure.”

“I feel bad about Sousuke.” Haru’s fingers clutched to Makoto’s shirt, and he tried snuggling even further into him, even though that really wasn’t possible. If someone had told him a year ago that he’d feel like this about Sousuke of all people, he would have said they were mad.

“Maybe it’s why Rin is doing it.”

Haru felt his own eyebrows rise at Makoto’s words. He honestly didn’t understand how those two were related.

“Maybe Rin just wants to be sure.”

Haru glanced at him, finally understanding. “You don’t mean just about Sousuke.”

“No.”

“Doesn’t he just simply know?” He realized he probably sounded petulant but didn’t you just know these things. Makoto’s hand came to rest in his hair and he sighed, feeling calm. Before Makoto could answer him though, the doorbell rang. They looked at each other, both knowing who it was and then Makoto nudged him, getting up to answer.

Haru breathed in deeply. He certainly cared about Sousuke and Rin was his closest friend after Makoto, so he promised himself to listen. He was not always the best when it came to understanding people, if he were to be honest with himself, so he had to try twice as much.

“Sorry for barging in like this.” Rin softly said.

“It’s fine.” Haru shrugged then looked at Makoto who was awkwardly hovering around the door. “Hot chocolate? We just had some, I can make more?”

“Ah, no, thank you but you two go ahead if you like.”

Makoto shook his head though and Haru wasn’t keen on more either. It had been more a way to try and break the ice. They both sat back, looking at Rin who was standing next to the window, looking outside.

“Look, I just…” Rin finally started speaking, but stopped again. He groaned in frustration, both of his hands flying to his hair and tugging.

“Rin. It’s all right.” Makoto got up then, walking up to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to explain yourself to us.” Haru nodded because that was ultimately true.

“I want to though.” He sighed, looking at Makoto. “It’s just difficult.” He shrugged and rubbed his eyes. “I just need to be sure, all right?”

Haru glanced quickly at Makoto. So he had been right after all. He wondered if he should be keeping his mouth shut but since Rin started talking about, he decided he might as well ask.

“About Sousuke or being into guys?”

“Either. Both.” Another shrug. “I have to be sure. It’s such a huge thing. How would I know if I didn’t at least try?”

Haru blinked at this and glanced again at Makoto. “Don’t you just know?”

Rin looked at him then, frowning. “Haven’t you ever thought about it?”

“Thought about what?”

“If you might like girls too?”

Makoto was rubbing his neck and Haru focused on Rin again. “No. I just like Makoto.”

“Just Makoto?”

Haru nodded quickly because he didn’t see what was so strange about it, but at least Rin seemed to get it.

“Nobody else?”

“Eh?” Maybe he didn’t get it after all.

“Never mind. But Haru, we’re not all like that. It’s great that you’re so sure but I had to try, all right? I had to be sure.”

He knew people were different and though he didn’t quite understand, he nodded. He also had a weird feeling Rin wasn't saying everything but then, it was his private matter and if he decided to talk one day, of course Haru'd listen.

“It’s settled now though. I mean, I really do like Sousuke. I just couldn’t … “ Rin shrugged. “She’s a great looking girl but I kept thinking about him.”

Haru wasn’t quite sure about that, to him she just looked like all the other girls but he definitely did understand that part about Sousuke. He was happy Rin had finally sorted his head out. That still left one bit though.

“You were pretty obvious though and Sousuke was with us.”

“What?”

Makoto sighed. Haru looked at him, wondering how to put this and not outright reveal Sousuke’s feelings for Rin.

“What Haru means is that he saw you flirting with this girl, right? Even if he doesn’t know you two went out?” Rin shook his head at this and Makoto continued. “If you do approach him, make sure to clarify that part. I wouldn’t leave it too long either, he might think you’re not interested in him at all. I mean, just in case, if he cares.”

Haru’s eyes almost crossed but he certainly couldn’t have done a better job than Makoto. He was sort of at the end of his rope and he’d have probably blurted everything out in his frustration. So instead of sighing, he just agreed. “Makoto is right, you don’t want to scuttle any chance you may have with Sousuke. Just go for it now.”

“I didn’t think about that, what if he thinks I don’t care?” Rin looked frantically at them and Makoto just patted his back. “It’s going to be fine but Rin, don’t leave it too long now. You don’t want to give him the wrong impression. Just know that if he does care, he also felt bad seeing you like that. It’s the weekend after all, ask him over or something and work this out.”

“I’m going to call him as soon as I get home.”

“Don’t do this over the phone.” Haru got up finally, joining Makoto.

“No, of course not. I meant, to invite him over or something. I’ll think about it.” Rin smiled weakly at them. “Thanks guys. Sorry about this.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Makoto drew him into a hug and Haru knew Makoto’s hugs always made things better. “You can always come to us.” He patted Rin’s back too, then let himself be drawn into the hug too. They sent Rin off then, and he was definitely in better spirits.

~~

“I still don’t really understand.”

Makoto craned his neck to get a better look at Haru who was sprawled on top of him. They had gotten showers after Rin had left, cleaned up the few things and then settled down to bed. Haru had poked and prodded him into the position he wanted, making him laugh in the end, complaining about being a pillow, which just caused a serious nod from Haru, who had then wiggled down and covered Makoto’s body with his own.

“I don’t have to, of course. Even I get we’re all different but I wish I did.”

Carding his fingers through Haru’s hair, Makoto pursed his lips. “Did you notice? He didn’t say he didn’t like girls, he just said he is certain he has feelings for Sousuke.”

“Eh?” Haru frowned at him, obviously going over that conversation in his head.  “Oh. You think he likes both.”

“It sounded that way to me. I mean it’s not our place to pry but I think so. And if he does, think how easier his life would be in some ways, if he could simply be with a girl.”

“He’s in love with Sousuke though.”

“Yes.” Makoto couldn't help but smile as he was happy for Rin, for them both. “If anything, that told him just how strong his feelings for Sousuke are. If he does find girls attractive, with all that it brings, and he still wants Sousuke, that must tell him a lot.”

Haru nodded and buried his head in Makoto’s shirt, now quiet. He was curious about what was going through his head but instead just let him be, still playing with strands of his hair.

“Did you ever?” Haru’s muffled voice reached him.

“Eh?”

“Wonder. About trying. With girls.”

“Oh!” He didn’t want Haru worrying about this, so tugged him up, so he could look into his face. “No.” It was embarrassing admitting all of this so openly but he didn’t want Haru to feel insecure. “I did think about it a lot at one point before we got together, and I just don’t find girls attractive in that way. And I’m in love with you.”

Haru smiled that shy smile of his and pecked his lips. Makoto was curious about his exchange with Rin though but wasn’t sure how to ask.

“I just like you. Is that weird?” Haru asked, blinking up at him.

“You don’t think Rin’s hot?”

Haru frowned at him as if he’d asked if the Sun was blue. Makoto had to bite his lip. “He’s Rin. Just like all the other guys.” Wrinkling his nose, he shrugged. “I just don’t think of them in that way.”

“But you do about me?”

“Obviously.” Haru threw Makoto an incredulous look. “I love you.” Makoto had to kiss him then and it was a long, drawn out kiss that left them both a little dazed but happy.

“You wouldn’t be Haru if you weren’t a little weird.” Makoto laughed then drew him into a hug. He definitely understood now why it was so difficult for Haru to get where Rin was coming from. His feeling of attraction was connected to his romantic feelings, so the rest confused him. “But no, you’re not. I don’t think there’s anything strange about that. I think there’s far more variety than just into girls or guys.”

“I like my way. It’s pretty simple.” Haru scrunched his nose at Makoto making him laugh, so Makoto rolled them over and proceeded to kiss him silly.

“It all works out well for us, doesn’t it?” Makoto asked when he finally caught his breath and Haru solemnly nodded.

_We fit. And that’s all that matters._

He was happy and thought that it might not be bad to exercise those feelings of attraction a bit. By the way Haru clutched at him while he moaned into the kiss, his body already moving beneath Makoto’s, he definitely approved of that idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked writing that bit with Haru and Makoto, so hope that was enjoyable.
> 
> I'll post Rin's side of this as soon as I finish it (I'm still not happy about it right now) as a side story, or rather the first chapter of it. I promise to try and do it quickly enough XD


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Rin and Sousuke companion piece, [Quos amor verus tenuit, tenebit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5352611), is finally up.

#  Chapter 26

 

Makoto slammed his book closed and resisted the impulse to hurl it across the room.

He was simply done, in all ways. It was Saturday, a week since they’ve seen Rin, and his finals had started a few days ago. He practically hadn’t come up for air ever since their movie date and while he thought he did really well on the first few exams that had already been held, he didn’t think he could spend another minute staring at those texts. It was past their usual lunch time and he had already been up at dawn, revising.

Drooping in the chair, he let his arms drop and eyes close. Puttering heard from the kitchen was relaxing his mind and he just inhaled deeply, trying to lose the tension. It was difficult though and he groaned.

Haru had been wonderful, he had made everything much easier. His own practice had intensified, the Invitational looming on the horizon but he somehow made sure there was always food for Makoto who had stayed at home, as he had no more classes, and then mostly kept to the bedroom, making sure Makoto had quiet while studying. He had felt badly at first, like he was putting him out, but in the end Haru just threatened to confine him to sleeping on the couch for implying Makoto didn’t have the right to peace and quiet in his own home when something so important for him was at stake.

He had also added that Makoto certainly didn’t mind when Haru clung to him like an octopus when he needed it before his races. Makoto had smiled sheepishly at him then and took a little cuddle break before going back to his books, feeling much better.

Now though, he was drained and tired and done.

“Trouble?” Haru’s voice reached him and he forced his eyes open.

“My brain is fried. I know I should do some more but I just cannot.” He let his eyes close again and didn’t even attempt budging. He could hear Haru moving to stand behind his chair and then his arms closed around Makoto, his lips brushing his temple. “Then you’re done for the day. Come on, let’s get you to the couch.”

Makoto nodded then got up only to walk a few steps before throwing himself on it. Haru laughed, then disappeared into the bedroom, bringing a light blanket with him when he emerged. Makoto hummed in appreciation when he tucked it around him, then tugged at his arm, to get Haru to sit next to him.

“I know you’re tired when you don’t even complain about taking a break.”

He smiled, enjoying the feel of Haru’s hand that cupped his cheek then pushed the hair out of his eyes. It was the truth too, he had no strength even for that.

“There’s no use in overworking. I’ll go finish lunch, you can take a nap after, and then we’ll see.” He smiled and Makoto pulled him lower for a kiss, then let him go. His eyes closing he dozed, lulled by the sounds of Haru in the kitchen. He would have probably fallen asleep but then enticing smells soon started tickling his nose and his stomach definitely woke up fully, demanding to be heard.

He startled at Haru’s breathing coming from close to him and blinked his eyes open.

“You’re silent as a cat.”

Laughing at Haru’s wrinkled nose, he obviously wasn’t sure if he liked the comparison, Makoto pulled him in for another kiss. Haru smiled after, and offered him a fried tomato. Makoto grinned and snapped it up, moaning at the taste.

“It’s almost done, I’ll bring it here. No need to get up.”

Makoto smiled happily, then drew himself up to a seated position, tucking the blanket away so that Haru could join him. He soon showed up, his arms laden with food and Makoto’s stomach gurgled loudly. They both laughed and Makoto had to shrug, he was so hungry.

“I’m starving myself.” Haru said, putting the tray between them and then handed Makoto his soup. “I’m eating so much lately but I have to. I need the calories.”

Makoto had to take a few sips first, he couldn’t resist before answering. “You are but you are taking care about what you’re eating. You have so much more muscle mass now! I approve.” He smirked and got an answering one from Haru. “You’re still so lean though, it’s great.” Makoto wondered if he sounded like a pervert but then decided he just didn’t care. He loved how Haru looked and that was that. Haru obviously appreciated that going by the quick kiss that followed.

“How is the practice going?” He felt bad about not talking too much about it with Haru. For the most part, it was usually during dinner, before he returned to his studies and Haru’s bath and sleep time. He wanted to know though, so took the chance now to prod him into a lengthy, for Haru, conversation about it. They managed to go through quite a bit of their lunch, before Haru almost choked on his broccoli, trying to swallow them in a hurry.

“Careful!”

“Sorry!” Haru sent him a smile then waved his chopsticks. “I talked to Rin!”

“Oh!” Makoto brimmed with excitement. Haru had told him that it had all been a bit strained for the first couple of days after that night, both of them fearing that what they’d warned about had come to pass. “Any movement?”

“He invited himself over to Sousuke’s tonight.”

“Wait, what?” Makoto laughed because he was pretty sure it should be the other way around.

“I know. It took me a few seconds to get that.” Haru rolled his eyes. “Only he would invite himself over for dinner while trying to confess. He said he was way too nervous to cook so this was a compromise.”

“I can certainly understand wanting to keep all his fingers but he could have just ordered out.”

“It’s just so Rin.” Haru laughed and Makoto had to agree. It truly was. “I’m just happy they’re talking again and I hope everything goes well for them. I may have also told him to text us as soon as he could, to put us out of our misery.”

“Good! Then we can invite them over once my finals are done and we can celebrate both.”

“That’s a great idea!” Haru nodded, grabbing more food for himself. “It’ll also fit nicely with the Invitational.”

“It’s going to be so exciting.”

Haru suddenly laughed and Makoto wondered why that set him off. “When Rin talks more about Sousuke than finally swimming with the best swimmers in the world, you know how serious he is!” Makoto had to join him then because truer words have never been spoken.

They finally finished, Makoto groaning and Haru patting his tummy, before taking the dishes away. He’d kissed him in thanks, then picked up his blanket and just plopped on the bed. It did not take him long before he fell into a restful sleep.

~~

“Makoto…”

He sniffed then tried blinking his eyes open. Yawning with satisfaction, he rubbed his eyes. “Eh?”

“It’s past eight. I thought about letting you sleep through the night but I think you would have woken up anyway and then what.”

“How long have I been asleep?!” Makoto instantly went to fully awake upon hearing that, he couldn’t believe it was that late.

Haru laughed softly and kissed him. “About four hours or so. I checked a few times and you hadn’t even moved! You must have needed that.”

“I must have, I can’t believe I slept so much.” He stretched then groaned. His muscles were all cramped from the numerous days of just sitting. He had been skipping his regular swimming too, and while he had used that time productively he wondered now if maybe he should have gone at least once. It was something to think about in the future.

“I’ve run the bath for you.” Haru smiled, rubbing his hands down Makoto’s arms, sending little shivers all over his body.

Makoto wanted to coo in gratitude upon hearing those words. Instead he let a huge smile split his face and he tugged Haru down into a kiss. “Thank you.” He wasted no time in getting up and ready for it, his clothes thrown into the hamper, Haru laughing in his wake at the sudden burst of speed and agility. The first few moments submerged in the warm water, the scent of lavender in the air, was pure bliss. He sighed as warmth seeped into his muscles, relaxing them.

He spent as much time as he could there, only bothering to get up and wash his hair once the water was almost completely cold. Haru had popped by, saying he just wanted to check if Makoto hadn’t drowned, startling him into laughter. The shower spray made him feel good too in a different way and by the time he had finally emerged, he was feeling much better. He had forgotten his clothes though, so he had to settle for a towel around his waist.

When he walked into the bedroom, the sight that greeted him made him stop. Haru was sitting on the bed, smiling, a towel laid out behind him and massage oil on the nightstand. He clapped his hands and stood, pointing to Makoto to get on. He groaned in anticipation, and had to kiss him first in thanks. “I have the best boyfriend.” Haru just smiled wider and patted his behind.

Makoto got rid of his towel that Haru took to hang in the bathroom before he settled down on the bed. It dipped telling him Haru was back and soon Haru’s warm hands landed on his shoulders. They slowly worked his tense muscles, getting them to relax. Every knot Haru undid made him whimper in relief. He had no idea he had gotten so messed up and thought he’d definitely have to do something about his posture while sitting down for long periods of time in the future. Exercise breaks would be a must too.

When Haru started in on his hands and arms, Makoto kept uttering his thanks. He didn't think massaging them would feel so good. By the time Haru was done and had started just slowly stroking Makoto’s back, he was like putty. He whimpered again, not wanting it to end but that just caused an answering laugh from Haru, who moved lover and went in on his legs. Makoto saw stars.

“Better?”

Haru had crawled back up his body when he was finished and Makoto could only nod. He felt divine. Soon enough those hands started exploring his body again but this time the touch was sensuous. Haru took his time though, keeping everything light and slow. Haru moved lower and lower, and Makoto knew he was shivering in anticipation by then. When he felt that first swipe of Haru’s tongue down his crack, he cried out at the sudden sharp spike of desire. Haru was merciless, teasing his rim and jabbing at his pucker. He was so relaxed from the massage that Haru’s finger breached him easily, and he clenched around it, his muscles spasming in pleasure. Suddenly, he found himself on the edge and he didn’t want it to end so quickly.

“Stop.”

Haru did right away and Makoto turned around, dislodging Haru from his perch. He spread his legs then, and could see Haru’s eyes go dark at this. That was enough of a cue for him to quickly get rid of his own clothes and soon he was on top of Makoto. Their kiss was slow and Haru’s body started moving in the same rhythm, making Makoto respond. It wasn’t often that they found themselves in this position, with Haru on top of him, and he loved the feeling. He wrapped his legs around Haru then, eliciting a groan from him, their bodies’ movements increasing in speed.

The position he was in was playing havoc with Makoto’s mind and body. He felt exposed but it was exciting him too and he knew that he’d have to have Haru inside of him soon. The thought alone was making him groan and his hands found purchase on Haru’s back, pressing them even closer. They kissed again and he let his hand push between their bodies and grasp them both. Haru was whimpering above him now and Makoto brought their lips together, swallowing the tantalising sounds. He couldn’t move his hand all that much due to the press of their stomachs but it was enough to send them both spilling over after just a few pulls.

Letting his legs fall back onto the bed, he just relaxed and tried getting some air. Haru was sprawled on top of him but Makoto didn’t want him to move, it was good to feel that weight pressing down. He stirred after a few moments, his head lifting from Makoto’s shoulder and he brought their lips together in a soft caress.

“I needed that.” He murmured and Makoto had to agree. He did too.

They kissed again before Haru finally rolled off and they laid side by side on the bed, Makoto grinning at the ceiling. They couldn’t stay that way though so he tugged at Haru’s hand and they trudged towards the shower, wanting to clean up.

Makoto laughed when the warm water hit him and Haru blinked up at him in question.

“I think I spent as much time as you in the water today.”

Haru grinned. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

“You would think that. I think I’ll turn into a prune.”

Haru’s hands roamed his back then, before moving to his front. “I’m not detecting any wrinkles.” Makoto snorted and wiggled his fingers at Haru before tickling him. A surprised giggle escaped Haru’s lips and Makoto just couldn’t stop himself from teasing him again.

“Makoto!”

“Yes?”

Haru laughed then, throwing himself into Makoto’s arms in delight and they stood under the spray kissing until the water turned cold.

Their stomachs made their existence known once they finally emerged from the bathroom and they spent some time making dinner. Makoto thought that he probably hindered it, more than helped, but he really could not stop himself from sampling some of the things. Haru kept throwing him small glances before he chased him around with a spatula, both of them laughing like school kids.

The final meal was amazing as always anyway and he couldn’t help but heap praises on Haru who just smiled and fed him bits of fish.

“Still no word?”

“No.” Haru scrolled down his phone and shook his head. “May be a bit early.”

Makoto nodded and got up to make them tea while Haru channel surfed. They finally settled down for a movie that then turned into two. It had taken a few kisses and cuddles before Makoto had said yes to it even if Haru had whined how he had always wanted to see it.

“You already know what my condition is.”

Haru laughed then settled on the couch, before spreading his arms in welcome. Makoto happily settled down and even managed to enjoy the first half or so until the plot really started going and he started flinching every few moments. The scene changed to a pretty summer day and he thought that maybe he could even do this. He might actually conquer a horror film. Until of course things got heated up again.

Makoto shrieked and buried his head in Haru’s shirt.

“I can’t believe you got me to watch this!”

Haru’s fingers tangled in his hair, soothing him. The music coming from the television turned even more ominous and Makoto scrunched his eyes close. He wished he could plug his ears too but he knew it wouldn’t work. It never did. There was a scream and he jerked, Haru’s arms holding him close now.

“It’s back to normal.”

He opened one eye and wondered if it was worth the risk then turned slowly. Indeed, the movie seemed to be back to calmer waters and he breathed out in relief. He absolutely refused to leave Haru’s arms though. _All right, so I might be using this a little bit but it’s not like he minds._ Rubbing his cheek over Haru’s shirt, he smiled. There were so many times when they watched something like this but he’d only seen the benefits of watching a scary movie after they had gotten together. If he was lucky, he’d get Haru to hold him that night too. He could deal with scary if that resulted from it.

The girl on the screen suddenly got grabbed by a man in the mask and he jumped, almost falling off the couch but Haru managed to keep him in place. Well, maybe deal with scary wasn’t the right choice of words but the benefits still made it worth it. He closed his eyes anyway as quite obviously there were no safe moments in that movie. His heart was thumping like crazy and hoped that they were near the end.

Haru laughed at something then and Makoto had to sigh. _Honestly. How can he laugh at something like that?_ There were a lot more shrieks and screams in the next few moments, and then silence. He peeked again and saw that the credits had started to roll. He sighed in relief, and Haru’s lips touched his temple.

“All done.”

“Did anyone stay alive?”

He honestly didn’t think he'd asked anything funny but Haru was snickering now. “Yes, the couple did.” Makoto looked up at him, his eyebrows raising in question. “Do you think we could survive a scary movie?”

“I’d hide somewhere and not move. You can hold me. Hopefully the crazy person would forget about us.”

Haru tilted his head as if thinking then brought their lips together in another kiss. “We could pass the time productively too.” Makoto's toes curled and he just nodded, drawing Haru close again. They were just getting going when Haru’s phone buzzed with a new message. He didn’t feel like being interrupted now and clutched him close but Haru pulled away. “What…”

“Might be Rin.”

“Oh!” Makoto untangled himself from Haru then because he suddenly remembered that he did promise Haru he’d text them if things went well. It was late enough after all, almost midnight, so hopefully it was good news.

Haru grabbed his phone then laughed. Makoto leaned over and saw that the text was actually from Sousuke and it was quite difficult to read but at the same time, quite clear. He had to laugh as well then.

“I am so glad!” He exclaimed and pulled Haru into a kiss.

“Me too.” Haru nodded once they parted and smiled. It was one of his big smiles and made Makoto even more joyous. Their friends finding the same sort of happiness they had was something to be celebrated.

Haru’s phone beeped again and they knew it had to be Rin that time. Makoto laughed again and shook his head. “I’m going to pass out. I’m so happy.” Rin’s text was on the screen and Haru’s thumb rubbed it once before he turned to Makoto.

“That is so Rin.” Makoto could see him glancing at the text again before he looked up. Makoto wondered what was going through his mind but Haru just shrugged in the end, still smiling. He could understand him though, it is hard to verbalize something like that. After quite a few problems, for them to have found each other, was a great thing.

“We can double date now.” He grinned.

“It’s going to be fun!” Haru lifted his phone. “Do we answer?”

“Just say we’re happy for them?” Makoto thought that it pretty much conveyed everything. “Oh! Ask them about that celebration next weekend then!”

“I am not sure they’re in a state to think of such things now.” They both laughed because it wasn’t so long ago that they had gotten together and true, at that point such plans would have looked ages into the future. “I’ll send it anyway.”

He typed it up quickly, with Makoto looking on then they got ready for bed. He certainly hadn’t forgotten the movie that he had just endured so once in bed he just pointedly looked at Haru who shook his head at him before turning on his back and wiggling his fingers. Makoto grinned and then cuddled close, his head on Haru’s chest. When Haru’s arms embraced him he sighed in satisfaction, before letting his eyes close. He was sure that he was still smiling when he finally fell asleep.

~~

Makoto blinked into the afternoon sun and smiled.

He had just left his last exam of that year and he felt almost liberated. It had gone well, he didn’t dare say really well because he was afraid of jinxing it but he was sure that he had done more than enough to pass with ease. Working so hard throughout the year and then before the finals had definitely paid off. It certainly didn’t hurt that he’d gotten way better at balancing and that Haru had been pampering him for over a week.

The question that was plaguing him was of course if it would be good enough to get him that scholarship.

He thought about going home but then decided that he wanted a little bit of time to himself. Getting his phone out, he sent off a text to Haru to let him know he was done and how it had gone, and that he’d be a little bit late as he wanted to clear his head after everything.

At first he wasn’t quite sure what to do but then he remembered their coffee date with Nagisa and headed there. Sitting down and having one seemed like a great choice. It didn’t take him long to find it again. Several tables were taken over either by couples or people who had the same idea as he. A small table tucked next to some greenery was free so he seated himself there. He almost grinned when he saw they offered ice-cream as well so ordered both.

The day was truly beautiful. There wasn’t a cloud in sight and it was so enjoyable. Maybe he could get Haru to take a walk with him to their rock, after all not only will the summer heat hit the city soon but Haru would be going overseas for a month. His order arrived and he enjoyed the chocolate and strawberry flavours while watching the people pass by.

His phone rang, startling him and he coughed, before picking up.

“Tachibana! Where did you disappear to?”

“Matsushita, hello. I left soon after I was done, I needed to get away!”

“I can certainly understand that.” Matsushita laughed. “I don’t want to see this building for at least a few days if possible, if not more.”

“I hear you!”

“We wanted to invite you out but since you’re gone, we might as well postpone it for later. To be honest, I think I just want to go home and sleep. So how about it? We can go out for some drinks and a meal and celebrate the end of the term.”

“Before the results are posted?” Makoto raised his eyebrows, he truly thought they’d wait for those.

“While we still have something to celebrate, so of course!”

That made him laugh because he was sure all of his friends passed with no problems but it was an interesting take on the matter. “I can’t this weekend because Haru and I already have some things arranged but anything after Sunday is fine.”

“No problem, I’ll arrange it with the others and give you a call.”

They said their good byes and Makoto returned to his ice-cream, thinking again about the finals. He was both dreading the results but he also wanted it to be over. It had been in front of him for too long now and he was stretched thin. The uncertainty was worse now, when it was so close. But he’d have to wait a few more days and filling them with laughter was certainly a good idea. They were meeting Rin and Sousuke on Saturday so that was bound to distract him.

Haru had come home that Monday after they had gotten together and laughed himself silly. Makoto had thought that he couldn’t remember the time when he’d seen him like that so he had demanded explanations. Apparently both guys were goofy with happiness, Rin walking along with a full grin so much so that he ended up frightening half of the pool and Haru had had to keep poking Sousuke to make him remember that he couldn’t just stare at Rin, some practice was required as well. But they were both quite obviously thrilled and Makoto had ample proof of that when he finally got to talk to a babbling Rin. Haru had offered their place for the little celebration and they both had agreed. Makoto couldn’t wait.

He sipped his coffee, his thoughts skipping from one thing to another, and slowly relaxed. _Going out like this was truly a good idea. Some time for myself on occasion is important. What to do next?_ He found himself floundering a bit at that question.

Ever since Iwatobi he was usually with his friends or Haru, or the twins and his family. Rarely did he go out and do things for himself. It was no wonder he was at a bit of a loss now. He did have things he wanted to visit with Haru but that automatically eliminated them now. In the end he just opted for a lazy stroll and while passing along the long, tree-lined, avenue he suddenly realized where he wanted to go.

The second he glimpsed the large stone bridge he smiled. He tracked across and soon stood in front of the first torii gate, the massive cypress wood structure taking his breath away. He had to pause and stare at it, his brain having trouble coping with the idea that the wood was over a thousand years old. He knew he made the right choice to visit the Meiji Jingu then. Forcing himself to move because he wanted to see as much as he could, he walked on but not before throwing another glance at it. He checked his map to make sure he was walking in the right direction because it didn’t take but a few steps to realize just how large of a complex it was.

He decided not to head towards the main temple building right away but strolled towards the treasury museum where he had a blast staring at the gorgeous carriage which the emperor rode at one time. He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to travel in something like that but he was sure he would have been so embarrassed. But then those were different times and people who were so very much outside of his experience. He was just an ordinary man, with small dreams and wants.

He took the time to visit the Kakuuntei Teahouse after that because even though it was a replica, the original having burnt down, it transported him right to those old times. He had a small smile on his face for all to see but he didn’t care. It was just so beautiful and the winding path through the lawn, edged by round bushes put him into an even better mood. He ended up at the pond then, smiling at the water, thinking how Haru would love it and decided there and then not to take any photos but simply come here again with him, for another visit.

Skipping the iris garden because it was still too early in the year and the Kiyomasa well as he didn’t feel like braving the line just then, he passed straight to the Meiji Shrine. It was incredibly beautiful and complete calm settled over him. He spent some time there, also making sure to write his wish on an ema. He thought long about it, then finally settled on happiness with Haru and success in his studies and work. His parents he did not mention, thinking that while he of course wanted them to change his mind, he also didn’t want to dwell on it. It would happen or not, and the rest of his life had to go on. He tied it onto the prayer wall then moved on.

He wasn’t quite sure just how long he spent just walking around. That this place was right there, in Tokyo, was truly something incredible. It was a veritable forest and it served to remove him from his daily life. His mind was clear and calm, and he enjoyed the many paths and courtyards he passed.

The sun rays fell on his face, then disappeared, hidden behind the huge trees and he smiled. Regardless of certain things that had happened, Makoto thought that his life was going pretty well. He was with the person he loved, who loved him back and his studies were going well. Even without that scholarship, they were going well. For the first time in as long as he could remember, there was truly no pressure about it, as if the walk had cleared it all. He had tried his best, there was nothing else he could have done differently and that was what mattered after all.

It is how he felt by the time he had returned home, already early evening.

Makoto could hear Haru puttering around the kitchen and he headed straight there, after taking off his shoes and putting his bag away. He softly greeted him before wrapping his arms around him, his head landing in the crook of Haru’s neck. Haru’s arms covered his own and a kiss was deposited on his hair.

“Good day?”

He nodded, not wanting to let Haru go. When he moved, Makoto loosened his hold but all Haru did was turn around and embrace him fully. Makoto was so happy he had him in his life.

After a little while, Haru’s fingers started combing through his hair so he lifted his head and looked at him only to find himself softly kissed. He hummed in approval, enjoying the connection.

“I’ve made dinner.” Haru smiled at him after they finally came up for air and Makoto smiled back. “Thank you Haru. I’m going to go wash up, be right back.”

He hurried into the bathroom where he washed his hands and then stared into the mirror for a few seconds. The man looking back at him was perhaps a little bit tired but his eyes were clear, lips red and he was smiling. Makoto thought that he rather liked that image.

They had their dinner then, Haru making more than enough to feed both of them, even though they were starving, with Makoto recounting his day. He didn’t linger long on his exam though Haru made sure to give him another peck as congratulations for having completed his first year and promising a full celebration once the results were out, but mostly talked about the shrine and how he’d like to go there again, this time with Haru.

“It is so beautiful, you’re going to love it. I think we should try and go really early, there’s bound to be less people around and we can walk around the paths.”

“I’d like that.” Haru nodded and eyed another piece of meat. He sighed then transferred it to his plate, making Makoto bite his lip to prevent himself from smiling. He figured he knew the exact way to divert Haru’s attention.

“I didn’t go and visit the iris gardens or the well, we can do that together.”

“There’s water?” Haru perked up and Makoto laughed lightly, making Haru shrug. He was Haru after all.

“Yes, it’s supposedly quite lovely and there’s a pond too.”

“We’re definitely going.”

Makoto just reached for more glazed vegetables and smiled. Once they were done, and he couldn’t believe how much they’d eaten though granted, quite a bit of that was by Haru, he offered to do the dishes but Haru just shooed him away, saying how he should just relax. Makoto still helped him carry everything back to the kitchen before going to take a shower. The hours concentrating on the test, then the walk had left him feeling grimy and he wanted to wash it all away.

He toyed with the idea of inviting Haru to join him, and that certainly would have been granted, but in the end he decided against it, choosing to just enjoy the warm water and get himself clean. The thought of more lingered, and he wondered how to ask Haru for what he wanted.

By the time he was out, Haru was already in his sleep pants, lounging on the bed. His eyes were closed and Makoto laid next to him, on his side, just watching him. He let his hand roam his naked chest, and got a pleased hum in return.

“Tired?” That was more than likely too, Haru had been at practice all day and he was usually worn out by the time Friday came but this time he just got a coy smile before Haru tipped him on his back and kissed him.

“Not really.” He smirked at Makoto before kissing him again, his hand burying itself into Makoto’s hair. Haru trailed kisses up Makoto’s jaw, nosing his neck and sucking on his ear-lobe, making Makoto twitch. He couldn’t keep his hands steady and they roamed Haru’s back, keeping him close.

“Haru?”

“Hmm?” Haru was distracted by laying open mouthed kisses down Makoto’s neck and Makoto felt like he couldn’t keep his head straight. He still needed to talk to him though, so pushed back a bit. Haru lifted up some, blinking at Makoto before focusing on him.

“We can just cuddle and sleep.”

Makoto smiled, one of his hands caressing Haru’s cheek. His heart was full and he briefly brought their lips together. “No, I want to.” That got him a raised eyebrow and Makoto sighed. He could feel himself flush, the heat spreading but he took a deep breath and decided to simply say it, embarrassment or not. “I want you to make love to me.”

Haru blinked at him again, not comprehending at first and Makoto was sure he was going to sink through the bed if he had to be more clear than that but then he saw the light of realization in Haru’s eyes. He could swear they had gone darker then and Haru kissed him passionately.

“I’d like that.” His voice was deep and rough, and Makoto groaned. It was so sexy and just listening to it could make him mindless from desire. Haru had other plans than that though and he grabbed lube and a condom from the night stand, before returning to mouthing Makoto’s neck. He tilted his head to grant him better access and then moaned loudly when Haru bit him where it met his shoulder. He didn’t have time to take a breath because his nipples were already being subjected to licks and sucks, interspersed with gentle nips. Makoto’s hand found its way into Haru’s hair, pressing it down, wanting more.

Haru gave his nipple one last nip before going lower, trailing open mouthed kisses across Makoto’s skin. It didn’t take long for Haru to find that one spot on Makoto’s belly that always drove him insane and he groaned, his hips twitching. Haru was relentless, sucking and tonguing, before blowing air on the wet patch, slowly driving Makoto crazy with desire. When he finally moved on, he almost whimpered in relief but also in regret. It didn’t last long though because Haru was pulling his pants down and he lifted his hips to help him. He’d worn no underwear and smiled at Haru’s hum of appreciation but that was soon replaced by a moan as his cock was being swallowed by a wet, hot mouth.

His brain helpfully supplied him with images of how Haru looked in those moments, his lips red, stretched over him, his eyes hooded. Makoto couldn’t keep himself still any longer but an arm came to rest across his hips then, keeping him down. When that tongue prodded his slit and then swiped at the underside he groaned again wishing he could thrust. His legs were moving then almost of their own accord, making room for Haru and as if that was a sign he was waiting for, Haru released him with a pop and a final lick before both his hands pushed Makoto’s legs even further apart.

He could hear the sounds of the lube being opened and soon one slick finger was rubbing against his pucker, teasing. Makoto's breathing hitched in anticipation so he pushed back but Haru had apparently decided that a little torture was in order. He circled his entrance slowly, his lips mouthing his inner thighs, sending little shocks of desire down Makoto’s spine, but he wouldn’t move more than that. Makoto finally whimpered, feeling like he was going to expire from teetering on that edge when Haru suddenly breached him fully. He gasped, the intrusion sudden but welcome before moaning loudly in pleasure. The finger started moving immediately and was soon joined by another. Haru kept scissoring his fingers, trying to relax him and his body moved with them.

When he added a third, he paused and Makoto was glad for it. The burn made him inhale and he tried consciously relaxing. It eased soon enough and he moved again, giving Haru the all right. He was slower in his movements now, as if careful not to hurt Makoto and after a while Makoto sped up his own, trying to get him to move on. Haru though took his time, opening him up slowly before he changed the angle and hit that sweet spot. Makoto felt like someone had connected him to a live wire, the sensation was so intense and he shouted, his muscles clenching around Haru’s fingers. When they swiped over it again, he could just hold on and breathe, practically shaking with desire and hoping that all of that would not end in the next few seconds.

Luckily Haru could read him well, so he pumped his fingers a few more times, careful to avoid his prostate, before taking them out. He moved back up to hover over Makoto.

Makoto blinked at him, his brain fogged in desire. “Haru?”

“Like this?”

It took him a few seconds to understand and he nodded quickly. There was no other way for him, though he understood now perfectly why Haru had insisted too that time. He wanted to be able to look at Haru’s face at this moment. Makoto pulled him down for a heated kiss, hoping there’d be no objections but Haru too obviously remembered and just nodded back. He pushed a pillow under Makoto’s lower back and sat on his heels, rolling on the condom and then putting more lube. Makoto watched him throughout, thinking that it should be illegal for anyone to look that hot, all the while hoping he’d hurry up because he was at his limit. He wanted Haru and he wanted him right there and then.

Makoto tried relaxing when the tip of Haru’s cock pushed at his entrance but it still burned when it entered him. He waited out the slight pain, breathing deeply before nodding at Haru who moved ever so slowly and carefully. A few stops and starts, and Haru was fully inside him, holding perfectly still. Makoto blinked into the darkness, feeling strange. There was the slight burn, accompanied by the feeling of intense fullness and the notion that something was inside of him. The tightness lessened then and he blinked again, Haru’s face above him coming into focus.

He eased himself down over Makoto, bringing their lips together into a slow, loving kiss and Makoto’s fingers buried themselves into his hair. At that moment it was like the connection fully sparked into life and the realization that it was Haru that he was feeling came to be. He moaned into the kiss, his body undulating, and Haru’s answering in a small movement. Makoto gasped, breaking the kiss because the sensation was like no other. Both of his hands found purchase on Haru’s strong shoulders then and soon their bodies found their own rhythm. Haru’s movements were slow and measured, and Makoto was grateful at first but then the desire started building again and soon it wasn’t enough. He tried speeding up but Haru just kissed him again and kept his maddening pace.

Makoto was aware there was a continuous stream of sounds coming from him but he didn’t care. He was focused on Haru’s flushed face above him, the steady movement of their bodies, the incredible closeness he felt with Haru at that moment. He pulled him down for another kiss and that changed the angle of Haru’s movements, making him hit just the right spot. Makoto’s body tightened and Haru jerked above him, then sped up. It was exactly what Makoto wanted and he contracted his inner muscles again, trying to get him to go even faster. “Makoto.” Haru groaned into his ear, obviously warning him and he just smiled unrepentantly at him. “Behave.” That order was followed by a nip to his ear and then Haru leaned his weight on his elbows, his body moving with more force now. He was obviously reaching his limit too and soon Makoto was taken by strong, steady strokes.

All thought was driven out of his head at that, his legs wrapping around Haru finally, opening him up perfectly and they both groaned, kissing. Their bodies moved as one, Makoto feeling almost completely overwhelmed by then. It was like Haru was all around him and in him and he kept gasping for air, feeling how it was almost too much and yet not nearly enough. He wanted it to end and he wanted it to last forever.

In the end their bodies just could not hold on any longer, Makoto's stomach muscles clenching. Haru was moving hard and fast, and he connected to Makoto’s prostate again. Makoto's muscled tightened, and he could withstand only a few more moments before his body spasmed and he came in one long, drawn out moan. Haru shouted above him, before he followed him over, his hips stuttering. Makoto thought he was just so beautiful. He finally couldn’t hold on and had to close his eyes, the feelings too much.

They stayed connected for a while, Makoto’s hands caressing Haru’s back, Haru’s head resting on his shoulder. He mewled in protest when Haru finally pulled out, hissing a little as he could feel the soreness now but it had definitely been worth it. He waited until Haru disposed of the condom before pulling him back down and kissing him for long moments, trying to convey how he felt. It had been incredible, he had felt so close to him, so connected. He was also sure he wanted to do it again.

“All right?” Haru asked, mirroring the question Makoto had asked of him so many times before and he could only nod, smiling happily.

“More than all right.” He grinned and got an answering grin from Haru. “More than.”

They kissed then, Haru’s body covering his own, and Makoto felt so loved.

~~

The pillow smelled of Haru.

Makoto smiled into it, burying his head there. He stretched, yawning and then winced at the slight twitch. It reminded him of the night before and he grinned again, feeling content to his toes. He wished Haru was there with him, so they could cuddle and exchange a few kisses but he’d had to get up early, first for his run then to hurry on to practice. Makoto had mostly slept through this except for a vague recollection of a kiss to his temple and soft words of goodbye before Haru’d left.

He stretched some more then decided a bath would be in order. Haru had cleaned them up as best as he could before they’d fallen asleep because they had been simply too tired for anything else but now he really needed to soak. He was itchy and laughed at his desire to wiggle. _Definitely bath time I think._

Padding softly to the bathroom, he set the tub to fill before returning to the bedroom to find some clothes for himself. It looked to be another wonderful day, if the bright sunlight streaming through the windows was any indication so he just chose jeans and a shirt. That would be fine for when he had to go out later on. They weren’t expecting the guys until around late afternoon, so agreed for Makoto to go shopping for anything Haru might need while he was at practice. He returned to the bathroom and checked their supplies, noticing they were running low on a few things so made a note to add that to the list Haru had promised to leave for him. While he was going shopping he might as well take care of as much as he could.

First thing was first, and he finally stepped into the scented water, and groaned. Pushing a towel under his head, he relaxed and let the warmth seep into his muscles. He frowned after a while because he felt strange. He couldn’t pinpoint what was bothering him, especially as everything seemed to be going great and then he realized that was sort of the problem.

_I have no classes to rush to, no papers to write and nothing to study. There’s nothing at all waiting for me but some mundane, every day shopping and time with Haru and the boys. No wonder I feel strange, it’s been months since I’ve had no obligations waiting for me._

He laughed into the quiet bathroom then, shaking his head before closing his eyes again. He loved this feeling, he decided. After all, soon he’d have his results back and then the internship decision was coming up. No matter how that went though, by the beginning of June he would be working somewhere, even if he hoped it would be Ryuujin. That meant that he should take this time and fully embrace it. He could just enjoy.

It’s why he dragged out his bath as long as he could before finally showering. He did promise himself not to laugh at Haru and hard to reach places again because good grief, that was rather awkward. _Not to mention embarrassing. But it’s all right if it got me last night._ He laughed softly again and finally stepped out, towelling off and getting dressed.

As he had promised, Haru had left him a note on the living room table and Makoto scanned it quickly before grabbing a pen and adding everything else for the bathroom. He poked his head around the kitchen too, noticing they were about to be short there too in cleaning supplies, he added that as well. Another thing that greeted him there was his breakfast that Haru had left for him under the cover. Makoto smiled, feeling cherished. It always thrilled him that Haru thought of him like this and he made his coffee while smiling. He had a leisurely breakfast and then cleaned everything up before leaving the apartment.

The sight of the fabric softener almost sent him into gales of laughter and he quickly picked up what they needed before moving on. Wrinkling his nose, he smiled and decided that maybe he could extract a few special kisses from Haru for not making him spend more time there. He was pretty sure that at one point Haru had had a nightmare about being locked in a room full of this stuff. Makoto poked around the store, while thinking how it still amazed him they went through so many clothes so quickly. It was a good thing they had gotten that hamper at least, they didn’t have any more crisis situations of no clean clothes since then.

Food was always the most difficult for him but Haru took care to leave him precise instructions so it went relatively painlessly. He had just left the place, grateful that he had thought ahead to bring his backpack as otherwise lugging all of that would have been difficult, when his phone rang. He moved aside and juggled his few bags before managing to pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Makoto? It’s Gou!”

“Oh! Gou! Hello!” He smiled, thinking how they haven’t spoken in a while. They’ve all been so busy so it was no wonder but he did miss her.

“Am I interrupting?”

“No, it’s fine. I just got out of the store, that’s all.”

“Oh. I was wondering if I could talk to you.” She sounded hesitant and Makoto was curious about what was going on. It would definitely be easier if he could sit properly at least for what seemed to promise to be a lengthy conversation. “Can I call you back? Actually we can Skype if you like? I’m going home now, so it’d be half an hour.”

“That would be wonderful.” She cleared her throat and sounded relieved to his ears. “Thank you so much!”

“It’s nothing. I’ll call you in about half an hour or so, as soon as I get these in the fridge.” He laughed and felt better when she joined him. They hung up after that and he quickened his step. Makoto wasn’t sure what it could possibly be. The club was always an option, especially since this year all the original members were graduating but the last time Haru talked to Rei everything seemed to be in order. In fact, it was Haru’s national success that suddenly got people enquiring about swimming and they already had a new manager first year that had been following Gou around, learning everything necessary. He wasn’t sure what else it could be so he just decided not to play guess games with himself and hurried home.

He put everything away, grabbed a water bottle and powered up his computer before calling her. It didn’t ring more than once before she answered. Makoto figured she must have been pretty anxious then and hoped it wasn’t anything serious.

“Ah Makoto, thank you!” She smiled tentatively and he flushed.

“It’s nothing, really.” He waited to see if she’d say something but she was quiet and sort of looking to the side. Makoto thought they could sit that way forever so decided to simply ask outright. “Is something the matter?”

“Ah, well.” Her face went red and she definitely couldn’t look him in the eye. It made Makoto suddenly afraid that something was seriously wrong. Gou finally looked at him and shrugged. “You know how Rin and Haru were on the cover of that magazine?” Makoto nodded and she continued. “I know it all got sorted out later, I’m truly happy for you two by the way!” She smiled and Makoto murmured his thanks, thinking how they hadn’t properly talked to her about it. He was glad to hear she didn’t mind at all, it was also quite obvious in her smile.

“It’s about Rin.” Gou continued and Makoto raised his eyebrows. He had no idea what Rin had or had not told her, or if he had even spoken to her at all about it. He just knew about the conversation with his mother and suddenly he found himself floundering. He hoped he wouldn’t mess anything up but since she was his friend too, he had to at least listen to her first. “I just … I think something’s going on but I don’t want to hurt him.”

She loved her brother dearly and Makoto could understand not wanting to push. He wasn’t that surprised that Rin hadn’t said anything to her yet. All of it was new for him and he probably wanted to wait. Luckily, he thought he knew what to say to her.

“If you are right, I think it’s probably the best to wait for him to talk to you. Sometimes we have to sort some things out on our own first.”

She nodded and bit her lip. “I just wish he knew he could always talk to me. I’m his sister, I will always support him.”

“I am sure that he does.” Makoto smiled.

“I’m being selfish, I guess.” She darted a quick glance at him. “He’s all right?”

Makoto nodded, happy that he could reassure her in that. “He’s just fine. We see a lot of him, maybe even more than when we were in Iwatobi.”

“He told me, you know.” She was smiling now openly. “When he was in Australia, he told me how you two talked to him all the time. It meant so much to him, even if he never said it. Thank you Makoto.”

He waved his hands in her direction, flushing. “It was nothing, really. We missed him a lot!”

“It was not nothing, even if you won’t say it. I was so glad. It meant the world to him to know his friends were there for him.” He could see her eyes were wet with unshed tears and he wished he could somehow make it better. It couldn’t have been easy for her, he was sure of it because while she was probably too young to remember or grasp much of Rin’s first stay in Australia, she knew how he had been when he had gotten back and she must have feared it on some level. Makoto was glad yet again it had all gone so well for Rin and that he was back home now, with all of them. That reminded him that Gou too was about to graduate.

“Anything new about your post-graduation plans?”

She smiled shyly at him and nodded. “I haven’t told anyone yet but I’m coming there! I’ve been accepted to a journalism school in Tokyo!”

Makoto laughed and clapped his hands, then heartily congratulated her. They spent some more time in relaxed talk about the city and how they’d love seeing her more often soon. She said she would probably try and get an apartment even though her mother wanted her in the dorms and he offered their help if necessary.

“Thank you for everything.” She smiled at him, in much better spirits than before. “I’ll listen to your advice about Rin. Will you please say hello to Haru for me?”

Makoto promised he would and then they said their goodbyes. He was glad he seemed to have been able to help at least a little bit but promised himself to talk to Rin anyway. Gou obviously didn’t find anything wrong about the possibility of her bother being with another man and it would be good for Rin too to know he wouldn’t be rebuffed. He sighed, wishing things were easier, for them all.

Nothing would come out of that though, he knew quite well, so he just powered down the laptop and looked around their apartment. There was still time till Haru would get back so he flung all the windows open to air it out and vacuumed and dusted. The manual work always helped clear his head, after all it didn’t require much thinking at all.

~~

Turning off the shower, Makoto sighed happily.

He had managed to complete everything and step into the shower before Haru got home. He leaned over to grab a towel only for his hand to be taken by another. He squeaked but that soft laughter was familiar and his heart calmed down. Poking his head out, he was greeted by Haru’s smiling face and a kiss on his lips.

“I’m back.”

“Haru.” Makoto shook his head at him, forgetting his hair was wet and then grinned at the water droplets flying all over. “Oops.”

Of course Haru didn’t mind, being Haru and he just stole another kiss. “Thank you for cleaning up.”

“Ah! It’s nothing!” Makoto smiled, happy then accepted the towel Haru handed him. “I left everything you needed in the kitchen.”

“Great, I’ll shower first though.” His nose scrunched and Makoto had to hold in laughter. He knew what was coming but at the same time, Haru looked so cute like that. “Gym always makes me feel so grimy.”

“It’s good for you.”

Haru just glanced at him and then started stripping, making Makoto blink. He kissed him slowly then quickly vacated the bathroom. A naked Haru was a temptation he was not sure he could resist and they shouldn’t be starting anything just then, considering their guests. They had to eat and then he’d help him with the dessert for tonight. _Well, perhaps help is too strong of a word. I’ll cheer him on from my usual seat._

He got dressed and then remembered the phone call. Gou didn’t say anything against talking to Haru, in fact he was pretty sure she wouldn’t mind so he decided to mention it anyway. In some ways, Haru understood Rin better than Makoto so running this by him seemed smart. He seated himself on what he considered to be his chair and fiddled with his phone while he waited. Soon enough he smelled Haru’s body wash and a kiss was deposited on his cheek.

“You don’t mind if we just do something simple?” Haru glanced at him and Makoto shook his head.

“Simple is more than fine, you’ve had practice and the guys are coming over later.”

“I don’t mind, cooking relaxes me but it’s to have enough time to make a proper dessert and get some rest too before they come.”

Makoto grinned and got up. “Can I help?”

“Sure.” Haru washed the vegetables then pushed them over towards Makoto. “These need chopping up.” He got busy with the rest, while Makoto found the cutting board and knife.

“Gou called.”

“Oh?”

“She’s ….” He sighed, wondering how to explain. “I think she’s figured it out, probably thanks to her mother too, but Rin hasn’t said anything yet to her. She seems to be worried that Rin doesn’t think he can trust her but I told her to just give it time. He has to work things out on his own first, it’s not about not trusting her.”

“That’s good advice.” Haru glanced at him, nodding. “I’m sure that he knows that but it’s still not easy just outright saying it.”

“I was thinking that I should mention it to Rin.”

“Hmm.” Haru was obviously thinking and Makoto left him to it, there was no rush after all. He sliced the vegetables, careful not to nick himself, then transferred them all to the bowl Haru had set apart from them.

“It’s Rin, he’ll probably want to talk to her right away.”

Makoto looked up from the carrots he was about to start grating and nodded. “True but I think telling him to reassure her once he does speak to her will also work. Otherwise he won’t know to, I would think.”

“Yes, there’s no way she’ll tell him anything of the kind. He is her big brother after all.”

“She was already so embarrassed when she talked to me. Well, I’ll talk to him today then.” Makoto smiled. “It should be fun.”

Haru nodded at him and flipped their meat, before stirring the sauce. It didn’t take them long to finish after that and they had a light lunch next to an open window, the room pleasantly warm and the mood soft. Makoto kept snickering at Haru’s griping about the gym, and Haru stole his vegetables in retaliation. They washed the dishes together after and Makoto got thrown out of the kitchen then. Haru claimed he was being distracted and he played some games on his computer while Haru made their cake. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so free from obligations as that day.

“Ah, all done.” Haru plopped down on the couch and relaxed back, making Makoto smile and get up to join him.

“I can smell it here.”

“No sampling before they arrive.” Haru wagged his finger and Makoto laughed, giving him a soft kiss. It didn’t take them long then to sprawl in a comfortable position, all wrapped up in each other, just relaxing.

“I don’t remember the last time when I had absolutely nothing to do. It feels so good!”

Haru laughed, lightly poking his side. “You deserve it, you’ve worked so hard. It’s only a small rest too, you know it, so better enjoy it!”

“True enough.” Makoto tightened his hold on Haru, sighing. “The internship news will be coming out soon and I’ll know what’s ahead.”

“You’ll get the Ryuujin one.”

Makoto frowned, looking at the top of Haru’s head that was resting on his chest. “You didn’t talk to Mizushima-san about it, right?”

“Of course not.” Haru lifted up, looking at him as if puzzled. “Why would I?”

“You know how much I want it.”

“I do but I also know you wouldn’t want me to. Plus you’re good enough to get it on your own, so why would I?”

Makoto just shook his head at those words and kissed him before letting his head rest back and Haru settled down too again with a hum. He wished he had as much confidence in himself as Haru obviously did but it also made him feel so warm that Haru did believe in him and that he knew him enough not to try and intervene. It wouldn’t have been the same if it were achieved because he was someone’s partner and not by his own merit.

“When you do get it,” Haru mumbled surprising him, “you better say you were right Haru and then start believing more in yourself.”

“I’ll try.” He whispered, thinking that if it did happen, he just might.

He could feel Haru nodding and smiled before picking up the remote and turning on the TV. They found a fun show and spent the time till the doorbell rang laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Makoto shouldn't be worried, it's Haru, we're all perverts when it comes to him.
> 
> Next time all the boys have fun together XD


	27. Chapter 27

#  Chapter 27

 

“Oh they’re here!” Haru hopped off the couch, and Makoto, and went to open the door, accompanied by Makoto’s soft chuckles. He had no problem admitting he was excited, he had truly wondered if they would get together and now that it had finally been sorted out, he knew things were only going to get even better. One of the major improvements would of course be that his status of agony aunt had been revoked.

“Hey, come on in.” He smiled and waved them in, Rin and Sousuke greeting them both.

“Oh, are those the ingredients?” Haru peeked at the bags both men had and Sousuke nodded. “Yes, we’re sticking with the plan, right?”

Makoto clapped his hands in glee, making Haru laugh. “We are. This should be fun.”

When they were deciding what to do and where to go, Haru had offered to make dinner initially too but the other two thought it was definitely taking advantage of him. In the end Rin was the one who thought of something a friend of his from Australia did often with his own friends. They’d get ingredients and then simply all cook the meal together. It was fun he’d said so the others all agreed.

“What are we making?” Haru asked, leading them to the kitchen.

“Pasta!” Sousuke exclaimed then flushed. “I like pasta, all right?”

Rin laughed, patting him on arm, with a fond look in his eyes which only made Sousuke blush harder. Haru could see Makoto was pretty much melting from the sight and he had to bite his lip in order not to start laughing. His boyfriend was such a sap. Though, it was nice to see.

He thought that getting their thoughts back to food might be good. “All of this just for pasta?”

“There’s more of course but Sousuke has priorities!” Rin smirked and started getting the things out, soon to be joined by the others. “I wanted pizza, to keep with the Italian theme.”

“I love pizza.” Makoto had a half dazed look on his face and Haru shook his head. He could already see this was going to be a fun night.

“That’s good for us too but I also have some fish here, for Haru of course, just in case, and some ham and sausages too.” Rin plopped the packages down on the counter and Haru grinned when he spotted his prize.

“I could make a mackerel pizza.”

“That’s just gross Haru.” Rin wrinkled his nose at him and Makoto only laughed.

“Did you really expect anything else? Do you know who you’re talking to?”

Haru shrugged and grabbed his precious mackerel. They didn’t know what they were missing but more for him. He surveyed the food and decided some veggies would go nicely too and asked Makoto to get them. He spied a bottle of wine as well and nodded his head in approval. A glass or two wouldn’t hurt them and he truly loved it.

“I know you said you’d make a cake but I also got us some ice-cream.” Sousuke piped up and Haru smirked.

“That of course has nothing to do with the fact Rin loves it too.”

“Haru!” Rin laughed, both of them flushing.

“There’s nothing wrong with trying to get into your good graces.” Makoto added before pausing, then looking at Haru. “Don’t!”

“I did not say a word!” Haru was smirking though because honestly, it was simply too easy sometimes.

Sousuke cleared his throat. “Food! So!”

Haru blinked at him innocently, while Rin patted his arm again.

“Pizza first? Or what?”

“Does it matter?” Haru shrugged. “We need to do the dough for the pizza first anyway and I am not sure that’s something anyone but Sousuke or I should handle.” Rin looked affronted but Makoto was just nodding along. “I can take care of the dicing and all of that, I know what I’m good at.”

“At least you won’t set fire to the water.”

“That was the one time Rin, one time.” Makoto pouted and Haru couldn’t resist giving him a peck before grabbing the flour and everything else they’d need. He pushed the veggies over to Makoto and they quickly got themselves sorted out. Rin and Makoto were on chopping duty while Sousuke and Haru dealt with the rest. Haru thanked his parents silently for the apparent forethought that one day four pretty large men would try and cook in this kitchen. The room that was pretty spacious to him usually was suddenly somehow full. Luckily it wasn’t too snug.

They were almost done, putting some of it to the side in case they wanted more, when Rin cleared his throat. Makoto was rinsing the knives and looked at him with an inquiring expression.

“Do you think we could do one of those…?” Rin waved his hands in the air.

“Eh?” Haru wasn’t sure what that meant but Sousuke apparently did because he was already shaking his head.

“Aww, come on Sousuke, it’d be fun!”

“Who’s going to scrape it off the ceiling?”

“Eh?” Haru blinked again.

“Oh!” Makoto finally joined them, laughing. “He means throw the dough in the air, like they do on those cooking shows.”

“No way. Yamazaki is right.” Though it did pain him to admit it but with the way their luck was, they would be scraping it off the ceiling.

“You’re no fun.” Rin pouted, then his eyes narrowed. That look always meant trouble but he didn’t have time to react before Rin dipped his hand in the flour and swiped it across Sousuke’s cheek. The shark grin was out on his face, almost daring him and Haru groaned. His poor kitchen. Sousuke of course retaliated, but he also managed to clip Makoto who naturally wouldn’t be left out. Soon they had a true flour fight and Haru was proud when he managed to duck most of it.

Until Makoto grabbed him and stuffed a whole hand full of flour down his back.

Haru shrieked, and turned to face Makoto, who had his lips pressed together. The other two were silent and looking at them. He wasn’t quite sure who broke first but they all cracked up and ended up with tears in their eyes. Sousuke turned his back to them, claiming he couldn’t breathe and Rin kept babbling about the look on Haru’s face.

“My stomach hurts.” Makoto moaned, finally sitting down on the chair and Haru sighed.

“Serves you right. I need a shower.” He pouted then pointed at Makoto. “You are sleeping on the couch.”

“Ahh, Haru!” The whine would probably have been way more effective if he didn’t still have laughter in his eyes.

“Hmph.” He stomped off to the bathroom, managing to keep a straight face till there and then started stripping before thinking better of it. There was no way that flour wouldn’t go everywhere if he just took his shirt off. With no other options, he stepped into the shower in his shirt and jeans.

“A wet t-shirt contest.” Makoto’s voice reached him and he side-glanced the man who sheepishly closed the door behind him.

“Hmph.”

“You’d look so hot too.”

“Hmph.”

“Haru!” Another whine but at that point he just thought it would be good payback to pretend he was a bit put out. Makoto sidled up to him then, smiling shyly. “You’re not mad?”

Moving his hand as unobtrusively as he could, he smiled at Makoto, leaning forward before bussing his lips. “No.” His other hand grabbed his shirt though, and tugged, causing him to stumble forward. He had no choice but to get in with him, spluttering and Haru turned the water on suddenly.

He was pretty certain that the shriek that came out of Makoto was quite impressive. The cold water pounded them both but he just smirked.

“Cold! Haru!” Makoto scrambled quickly though and turned the hot water on, before sighing in relief. “That was just mean.”

“But now both of us can play in the wet t-shirt contest.” He smirked again and kissed him long and hard. Haru was not sure where they would have stopped because there was no denying Makoto looked so hot with his muscles outlined like that but there was suddenly pounding on their bathroom door.

“I don’t know what kind of water games you two like to play but can you wait until we’re gone?” Rin’s voice reached him and Makoto squeaked again. Haru could only laugh.

“I’m sorry about him.” Sousuke’s voice reached them and then a sound of shuffling and protests. It got quieter and further away though, Rin obviously being dragged away.

“Do you think that’s how it’s going to be from now on?” Makoto pushed the wet hair out of his face. “Sousuke apologizing for Rin?”

Haru lightly laughed before nodding. “I don’t think he’ll mind though. Come on, help me out with this mess. I think that flour’s mixed with the water and it’s really icky.”

Makoto smiled sheepishly at him again but Haru just smiled back and pulled at his shirt. It gave a pretty gross squelching sound and they both laughed again. “This is all your fault.”

“You can punish me later.” Haru glanced at Makoto and smirked. That was definitely an intriguing idea. Of course they had guests and that had to wait. They made quick do of the shower then, Makoto helping him out with the clean up because flour seemed to be like sand, it got in everywhere. They changed into new clothes after and joined the other two in the kitchen again.

“I’m starving.” Makoto groaned and pointed at the pizzas. “Let’s get these done.”

“Thanks for cleaning up.” Haru looked around and saw that the kitchen was spotless.

“Well if this guy hadn’t started it…” Sousuke grumbled before passing Rin the chopped tomatoes. He got a smile in thanks and Haru laughed at Makoto who managed to steal one.

“Hey! Can’t you wait?”

“No, he can’t. He loves stealing tomatoes.” Haru smirked and made sure to put plenty of mackerel on his own. Rin just pretended to shield his eyes from that and he shrugged. Definitely his loss. He couldn’t understand why ham on a pizza was considered better anyway. Both Makoto and Sousuke had opted for sausage with tomatoes and some more veggies in Makoto’s case while Sousuke added a light sprinkle of cheese.

“Where did I put it?” Rin was looking around, searching through the things they’d brought before exclaiming in triumph. “Aha!”

“Seriously?” Makoto wrinkled his nose and blinked.

“Yes, it’s quite good. I’ll even let you try it.”

“I don’t think I want pineapple on my pizza Rin. I tried once thanks to this guy,” he jerked his head towards Haru who pouted, “and I think I’ll pass.”

“Yes but I bet he had it with fish. This is different. It’s really great!” Rin was nodding enthusiastically, while adding slices. “I tried it in Australia and got hooked.”

“Not everyone has weird tastes Rin.” Sousuke glanced up from his almost finished one but that only made Rin smirk.

“I have weird tastes, ah?”

Haru wondered if Sousuke would catch fire, he was so red. Makoto suddenly turned his back on them and he could see his shoulders shaking slightly. Haru couldn’t blame him, it was amusing. Sousuke was usually so stoic that seeing him so flustered was both adorable and funny. He decided he might as well put him out of his misery so pointed at the oven. “Two at a time I think. It’ll go quickly.”

Almost spoiling the whole thing when he had to bite his lip to prevent himself from laughing at the painfully grateful look Sousuke threw his way, he quickly turned to the oven and proceeded to get the few pots he kept there out. It didn’t take long and soon they were at the table, starting on their finished pizzas.

“Oh this is so good!” Makoto was groaning around his first bite and Haru could only agree. The mackerel made it extra special. He hadn’t had one like this since that summer island training camp, he simply hadn’t thought of it, but he was sure they’d grab a chance soon to make it again. Rin was happily devouring his pineapple monstrosity and Sousuke was busy with his sausage.

“Anyone want to try it? Sousuke?” Rin offered and they all shook their heads, causing him to whine. “Ah come on guys, it’s really good!”

Makoto just smiled and then offered Haru a piece of his own. He eyed the ham but decided it probably wouldn’t be too bad and opened his mouth. The vegetables Makoto had added actually made it pretty good and he nodded then offered a piece of his own back. The dubious expression on Makoto’s face made him pout but it worked when Makoto just sighed and took a bite, his eyes scrunched closed.

“This is not that bad at all.”

“It’s mackerel.” How could anything mackerel be bad he honestly wasn’t sure.

“See!” Rin pointed at them, glaring at Sousuke. “His boyfriend will give a try and you won’t.”

Sousuke blinked rapidly at him, his face red again. Haru wasn’t sure if it was due to the easy way Rin called him his boyfriend, probably still unused to the situation or because he felt bad for not giving in right away. Knowing Sousuke, it was most likely both of these things. Haru raised his eyebrows at him expectantly and Makoto nodded, causing him to sigh and allow Rin to pop a piece into his mouth.

“Well?” Makoto asked, his expression curious, while Sousuke chewed.

“It’s actually good. What is this sorcery?” He eyed Rin’s plate and snagged another bite, making Rin laugh. “I told you!”

“You’re never going to live this down you know.” Haru snickered then stole a bite himself. “Huh.” It actually was good, he had to admit. He hadn’t expected that. Makoto was obviously emboldened by their reactions and eyed it hopefully too only to have Rin laugh and plop a whole slice on his plate, while stealing some of Makoto’s for himself.

“You can make sandwiches like this you know. They also use cheese but I can’t eat it.” Rin smiled around his bite. “This is good Makoto.”

“Oh! But I can!” Sousuke smiled back at him. “I’m going to try those.”

Haru went back to the kitchen to get them more mineral water as they seemed to be guzzling it down and eyed the things they’d left there for later. He nodded, thinking he’d get Sousuke to help him out with those and then returned to the living room. Laughing at the scene of the already demolished pizzas he grabbed the one remaining slice of his own and munched happily. Makoto’s longing look had him sighing and he split it in half, passing him one. The sunshine smile in thanks made him feel happy.

“Ah all gone.” Rin sniffed mournfully, making Sousuke laugh.

“There’s still the pasta to come though I think Nanase and I should handle that one.” Haru just nodded and licked his fingers. It had been so tasty.

“We’ll pick a movie or something to watch while you’re off.” Makoto smiled and Haru wondered if he’d also take the opportunity to talk to Rin about Gou. While Rin would probably discuss it with Sousuke later, this was definitely better done in private and going by the meaningful look Makoto threw him just before he left for the kitchen, his arms laden with dirty dishes, he had his answer.

“Do you want Makoto’s apron?” He offered it to Sousuke while tying his own that of course had a little dolphin in front.

Sousuke eyed the orca print and shook his head. “You two are ridiculous.” He took the apron anyway, and chuckled. “Maybe I should get a couple for Rin and me.”

“Why not? Though I think sharks are more to your tastes.”

“Heh.” Sousuke grabbed the zucchini and eyed Haru who was dicing the meat. “Oh! I completely forgot. You’ll get the official schedule tomorrow but we’ll be staying in Florence as our base this summer, while we train and travel around.”

“You’re going?” Haru smiled, feeling quite good about the fact. Mizushima-san had other swimmers too and he was quite used to Sousuke’s manner by now.

“I am, I’m quite happy about it.” He shrugged before continuing. “I know some would say it’s way too early but Mizushima-san wants me to see every aspect of training. There’s no doubt I’ll have less free time as soon as University starts. I won’t be going to the Asian games with you, and Australia is still uncertain, but this is great.”

Haru nodded, he had expected as much, especially the latter as his classes would have started by then. “I’m glad you’ll be with us for the big trip though.” Sousuke let out a small smile and Haru thought once again how things had changed. He smirked then. “I’m sure Rin will be too.”

“Nanase.” His voice may have been cool but Haru laughed, as he could see Sousuke was barely restraining a smile.

“I’m happy for you, we both are.”

“Thank you.” He blushed before shrugging. “I still can’t believe it.” The look on his face was a mixture of utter happiness and incredulity, making Haru reach out and pat his arm.

“Rin looks happy.”

“I hope so.”

He gave him another friendly pat then turned the conversation over to food and pasta. Haru was certain that it’d make Sousuke feel more at ease and in the end it turned out quite an education for him, as Sousuke was quite the cook. They even adjusted the recipe a little bit, deciding to do this more often.

“We picked a movie!” Makoto crowed when he poked his head in as they were just finishing up and Haru laughed.

“Come help us bring these out.” They were soon gathered around the table, a comedy playing on the screen.

“I am not so sure this was a good idea, I can’t laugh and eat!” Rin grabbed a napkin as he got some of the sauce all over himself, set off by one of the scenes. Sousuke was trying not to choke because he had just taken a bite and Makoto was laughing like a hyena. Haru thought it was one of the best dinners he’d ever had, and it was not even over yet.

~~

They were just lounging around, all of them completely stuffed and feeling lazy, chatting about their old days in Iwatobi when Rin suddenly waved his hands to get their attention.

“You haven’t really paid any attention to things happening after the Nationals, right Haru? Wait, never mind, why am I even asking you, of course you haven’t.” Haru shook his head and snuggled further into Makoto. They were on the couch while Sousuke and Rin had foregone ceremony a while ago and sprawled on the floor. Haru thought that it also gave them excuses to touch here and there, and he found it impossibly endearing.

“The international community always keeps an eye on our Nationals, after all we have been doing pretty well for a while now. Guess who’s been the talk of the town.” Rin grinned and Sousuke suddenly sat up.

“They’re talking about Nanase, aren’t they?”

Nodding, Rin pointed at him. “They are. And only a rare few actually think you’ll be able to do anything at all on the international scene.”

Haru had been sort of placidly following along until he heard that, which made him sit up.

“Thought that would get your attention.” Rin shrugged, sighing. “It’s sort of terribly annoying. I mean sure, Japan hasn’t had that much success in free…”

“Or any.” Sousuke interrupted.

“Or any, well, not since the 1930s,” Rin nodded, acknowledging it, “but I’d have thought we wouldn’t be dismissed quite so easily. Oh sure, there is the talk that the Asian Games are probably yours to take but a rare few believe much more than that is possible.”

Haru blinked, feeling a strange kind of resentment rising inside of him.

“Their problem, isn’t it?” Makoto pulled him back, rubbing his arm and Haru frowned. He’d expected Makoto to be more affronted at this. He had to focus back onto him though because he suddenly continued. “If they underestimate him, they’ll get a nasty surprise and it’ll be their own fault.”

This made Haru smile and he had to lean in for a kiss, even with the other two there, which Makoto promptly gave him. It truly was good to have someone believe in him like that.

“What Nanase lacks are races,” Sousuke said while rolling his eyes at them, “and he is going to get that experience soon. It’s true that his times aren’t currently at the top but he’s got the A norms for the World’s already and further races are just going to strengthen him.”

Haru nodded because his lack of experience was an obvious draw back. It was one of the reasons why he was so looking forward to his time in Europe. The chance to go against so many people should push him into advancing. Nothing could replace that and he was glad for the opportunity.

“I still don’t like it though.” He was simply compelled to add then. After all, he was among friends there and saying what he truly thought was all right.

Rin just grinned at him and Haru was sure that he didn’t have to explain it to him. Rin always understood that part of Haru the best. Makoto raised his eyebrow at him in silent question and he sighed.

“I don’t like being dismissed so easily. I know I’m a new comer but isn’t that the point? They don’t know what I can do.” His voice had gotten a bit low there at the end but it truly irritated him. They were underestimating him, Makoto was right, and that was making him want to prove them all wrong.

“Good.” Sousuke’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he frowned. “Remember that feeling. It’s going to be difficult from now on, especially as you do have plenty of room to improve but let this drive you. Show them just how wrong they are.” He turned to Rin and jabbed a finger in his direction. “You too. If they’re dismissing him, they aren’t even talking about you when it comes to free. It’s good to focus on fly for now but you’re good enough to at least spoil a few things in the shortest races.”

“Yes!” Rin fist pumped and Haru nodded. He could see from the corner of his eye that Makoto was taken aback a little bit by all of this. Rin had always been competitive, and while a lot of it was about Haru, he always had a more general focus too while it hadn’t always been the case for himself. But that was what he had discovered at the end of his high school senior year. He was competitive, just as much as Rin was. Haru was aware that this was the first time Makoto was seeing it and got why he was somewhat surprised.

“We need to use our time in Europe to the best of our abilities.”

“Don’t worry Nanase.” Sousuke grinned at him. “We’ve got it all planned out already. Mizushima-san is a genius! But first thing is first. The Invitational is coming up and while the free event doesn’t have the top names entered, it’s going to be a perfect opportunity to have all those naysayers start doubting. Are we going to do this then?”

Haru smiled.

“We’re going to do this.”

Makoto whooped then, startling him. “All right, let me get the wine, this requires a toast.” He hopped off the couch and practically ran to the kitchen, returning with the bottle and four glasses. They’d opened it earlier, to allow the wine to breathe, so now he sat down on the floor, Haru joining them and they held their glasses aloft.

“To the future where Nanase Haruka and Matsuoka Rin entering a race makes everyone pause and pay attention.” Makoto smiled widely and Haru remembered those months ago, when Makoto had told him something similar. He thought he finally got now what Makoto had meant then and he could not agree more. He was fired up and in need to prove to everyone, including himself, just how good he could be, how good someone from Japan could be and he knew Rin shared that desire, while Sousuke and Makoto would do their all to help them achieve it.

They clinked glasses, agreeing with the sentiment and drank.

“I wish you could go with us Makoto.” Rin sighed and Makoto nodded morosely, while Haru took the opportunity to take his hand in comfort. He wished for it too. “But you’ll be there for the Olympics, so it’ll be fine.”

“Eh?” Makoto blinked in confusion and Haru felt equally so.

“It’s the Olympics. Family can go with the athletes and there’s no doubt you help Haru. It was like that for the last ones too.”

Haru smiled, giving Makoto’s hand a squeeze. He could see that Rin’s words touched him, calling him Haru’s family but it was the truth, everything he’d said. He had not known this was a possibility and suddenly he felt lighter too. The idea that Makoto could be there for him shone brightly now, and it made the goal all that much more tempting. “I didn’t know it was possible but yes, I’d like that.”

“I would love to!” Makoto grinned. “If it is truly possible, nobody is going to keep me away.”

They laughed at that but they all knew it was also the truth.

“Another reason to be sure to do your best Nanase.”

“Eh?”

Sousuke shrugged, his face fixed on the floor. “If you’re the best and our great chance for finally getting a medal in free then they can’t very well say no, even if it is not a conventional pairing.”

Haru frowned but it had merit. Well, if he had to annihilate his opposition, then he would do just that. He nodded to himself. After all, everyone kept telling him how unique he was, how good his swimming was. It was time to show that.

“There’s some light talk of that too you know.” Rin said quietly. “Some of it is not pleasant but most are curious.”

“How is that anyone’s business?” Makoto frowned, obviously choosing to ignore the part about the nastiness and Haru approved, they should not focus on such things.

Rin just shrugged in answer. “You know how people are. And athletes who are out are still rare. There are a few of course but we all know how it is.”

Haru stared at his wine, not willing to ask. He was curious without a doubt but Rin and Sousuke had just gotten together and he had no idea if they’d talked about it plus it was truly awkward asking something so personal.

“We’re not going to hide either.” Sousuke cleared his throat, then reached out towards Rin, taking his hand. It was the first such display Haru had seen from them and he was glad that Sousuke felt relaxed enough to act on his feelings in front of them. Makoto’s face had gone soft too and Haru had to shift over and lean into him. He truly was happy for his friends.

Rin was looking at Sousuke now with what was probably the gentlest expression Haru had ever seen on his face before he nodded. “We’ve already talked about it. I’m going to go talk to Mizushima-san too, you did the right thing Haru. Poor man.” They all giggled, more nervously than anything else, but it did make the moment lighter.

“He can now legitimately ask what’s in the water in Iwatobi.” Sousuke sniggered.

“I really hope he’s not going to have any trouble due to it.” Rin frowned, looking at them.

“He’s not going to tell us, even if some of the sponsors leave him.” Haru was sure of it. He had gotten a good reading on what kind of a person Mizushima Daisuke was during these months and everything pointed him in that direction. “He’s a good man and he will not want to trouble us with that. In the end, there’s only one thing we can do. Win. And win again, and again, so that they come crawling back to him.”

Rin was nodding furiously at him, Sousuke smiling and even Makoto’s face was set in a firm mask.

“How about some cake now?” Haru said into the silence and suddenly everyone was rising to their feet, the serious mood forgotten. He laughed and shook his head then got it out of the fridge to everyone’s cheers.

“You two are in training, so you should stick to one piece.” Sousuke remarked and to his surprise, Rin just nodded. But then, maybe it wasn’t so surprising, considering what they’d just talked about. They opted to stay in the kitchen, Haru insisting on sharing his own with Makoto, who of course agreed and then snagged another one for both himself and Sousuke.

“The two of us need to start swimming more if we continue like this though.”

“That’s true.” Sousuke laughed and Haru couldn’t remember the last time he seemed so relaxed and carefree.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Makoto waved at him. “Nagisa says she can get us tickets for that band we talked about, for next Friday. You in?”

“Of course! I’d forgotten about that but sure.”

Rin pouted and Haru had to laugh at him. “Don’t worry, you’ll live for a few hours without him.”

“Can I come over?”

“Honestly Rin, don’t just invite yourself over.” Sousuke poked him.

“He wouldn’t be Rin otherwise and you know it.” Laughing, Haru just nodded. “Of course you can, we’ll have our own nice night.”

“You’re free now Makoto, aren’t you? When are the results coming in?” Sousuke asked and Haru recalled that soon enough, he’ll be sharing similar worries to him. Lectures, exams, finals. He wrinkled his nose at the thought of them all, it just had no appeal to him whatsoever.

“Yes, it’s all over now, it feels so good to have some time to myself. We were told around the middle of the week.” He shrugged and the arm around him tightened. He rubbed his head against Makoto’s shoulder in silent support, causing him to smile. “Of course, the Ryuujin internship announcements should go out after that. I’m so nervous!”

“You’ve applied to other places too though, right?” One could always rely on Sousuke to be practical about things.

“Yes, I’ve sent out several applications and our old coach in Iwatobi has an open spot for me, just in case.” He of course didn’t add that while having that back up was a comfort, being in Iwatobi would be somewhat awkward at the moment.

“You won’t need it.” Rin shook his head, and then got up and got more wine for all of them. “You’re doing one here, even if it is not Ryuujin. Though I can bet you that you’ll get that one. Hell, I’ll bet you right now that you’re going to have your pick of more.”

“Rin!” Makoto was blushing now and Haru laughed but nodded. “I agree with him.”

“You’re biased Haru.” But Makoto was smiling at him, his eyes shining and Haru kissed him instead of replying. He’d have to wait and see for himself.

“I don’t want to jinx it now but I hope we’ll be toasting for both Makoto and Sousuke soon.”

“Right!” Makoto slapped his forehead. “I’ve completely forgotten. University entrance exams are coming up too.”

“I’m sure you’re going to be fine.” Haru nodded and he truly was. Sousuke has been studying for a while now and he expected no problems.

“I’m fairly confident. I’m going to try for the University that is hosting Ryuujin. It’s excellent, much like Makoto’s, but it’s going to be much more convenient for me, what with almost no commute. I’m going to be able to still keep an eye on Nanase here that way.”

“I certainly hope so.” Haru mumbled. Sousuke smiled at him and raised his glass in salute.

They switched to lighter topics then, Rin making sure to keep their glasses topped up and soon he was left staring at an empty bottle. Haru snickered at his mournful expression. “All gone.”

“All right, one last toast for the night then.” Makoto said and raised his glass. “To us!”

Laughing, they clinked their glasses, drinking deeply.

“Oh hell, the time Rin!” Sousuke exclaimed, looking at his phone. “I think we’re going to miss the last train.”

Haru and Makoto looked at each other and it wasn’t difficult to see that Makoto agreed with him.

“Stay the night.”

“Eh?” Rin blinked at him.

“There’s room, stay the night. What’s the point in rushing now anyway and why pay a cab? We can have breakfast together and you still have the full day ahead for whatever you may have planned.” Makoto was waving his hands around and Haru just nodded.

“It’s a big bed.” Sousuke shrugged.

“Eh?” Rin’s voice got quite high and Haru snickered again.

“Don’t worry, we didn’t go poaching your man while you were gone.” He laughed then because he wasn’t sure who turned more red, Sousuke or Makoto. Rin cackled and raised his glass again.

“I call dibs on the bathroom then!” Makoto jumped up and before anyone could say a thing, hightailed it out of the kitchen. The others were left staring after him and finally it was Sousuke who laughed. “Nanase, you’re a bad influence on that man.”

Haru shook his head and pointed at the dishes that still had to be washed. “Come on, give me a hand.” They nodded and soon they were washed and dried, with Haru leading the way to the bedroom.

“That is a huge bed.” Rin stood at the entrance, blinking at it.

Haru just shrugged. “We need our space. I thought you’d seen it already when you helped us with the move?”

“No, Sousuke and I took care of the books in the living room while Makoto dealt with the rest.” He walked around the bed slowly now, and Haru realized where he was going. “I also haven’t seen that before either.” He motioned towards the painting then sat down to get a closer look. “That’s so gorgeous. Did you paint this Haru?”

“Nanase paints?” Sousuke was now staring at him and he could only shrug.

“I like it.” He walked over to the closet, to try and find some clothes for the guys to sleep in but at the same time he wanted to avoid looking at them directly. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed by what the painting represented, he just wasn’t used to people looking at something he’d done.

“It was my birthday gift.” Makoto’s soft words came from the other end and Haru glanced at him. His hair was still wet from the shower, he’d changed into sleep clothes. He was also looking at the triptych with the same expression he always had when he observed it. Haru could easily identify it as love now.

“Oh!” Rin looked at him, obviously remembering their conversation and Haru quickly nodded. He took some of Makoto’s things and handed them to Sousuke, holding some of his own for Rin. “It’s incredible work Haru.” He took the clothes from Haru’s hands but kept looking at the images.

Makoto nodded quickly and drew Haru into an embrace. He didn’t resist but just brought his own arms around him, nestling his head on Makoto’s shoulder and breathing in his scent.

“I’ll go next!” Sousuke jumped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

“You both look happy.” Makoto remarked and Haru smiled into his shirt. He wasn’t usually one for direct statements but he’d surprise them all every once in a while.

“We are.” Rin shrugged, seemingly at a loss for words. “I didn’t think it’d be like this.”

“Oh?” Haru wouldn’t have pried but Rin seemed inclined to talk.

“Nothing has changed and everything has changed?” He turned to look at their painting again, and Haru looked up at Makoto, smiling. He could understand that sentiment perfectly and he was sure Makoto could as well. Indeed, a soft kiss landed on his lips, Makoto smiling.

“We get it Rin. It was the same for us. It’ll only get better.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.” They both said at the same time and laughed.

“If you start speaking together like that I’m bailing you guys.”

Haru narrowed his eyes then wiggled out of Makoto’s embrace and gave Rin a poke. He giggled suddenly before clamping his hand over his mouth. “You’re ticklish!” He smiled a full smile and Rin backed up, pointing at Makoto.

“Please contain your worse half!”

Makoto laughed, then dragged Haru back into his embrace. He thought about trying to squirm out but then decided he was simply too lazy. Too much food and wine probably. He did promise himself to remember for some day ahead. Sousuke emerged from the bathroom then and Rin practically flew in.

“Eh?”

“Pay no mind Sousuke, these two are at it as usual.” Makoto sighed. Haru let himself be pulled down onto Makoto’s lap then, as he sat on the bed. Sousuke just looked at them, rubbing his neck and Haru raised his eyebrow in question.

“Um. How are we going to do this exactly?” He waved his hand vaguely.

“We’ll take the left. You two take the right side and all done.” Makoto smiled at him and Haru nodded. It wasn’t as if the two of them actually took all that much space when they cuddled as usual for sleep. It was usually other activities that demanded more room and that wasn’t going to happen with company there.

“All right.” Haru could see Sousuke was still uncertain but he climbed on the bed anyway and managed to get under the covers. Hoping it’d be fine, he shrugged then got up in spite of Makoto’s whine to get his own change of clothes. They chatted a bit until Rin emerged and Haru sighed happily, finally able to dunk himself under a warm spray of water.

Grabbing all he needed, he quickly took off his clothes, leaving them in the hamper and then stepped into the shower, letting the water flow. He groaned, his head thumping onto the tiles, it was that great a feeling. Soon he relaxed completely and decided that he needed to wash quickly or he’d end up in a heap on the floor. He made quick work of it so was soon out, towelling himself off. He spied his toothbrush and the two guest ones Makoto had obviously left out when he had been there first. Smiling at that because he never would have thought of it, he quickly finished and dressed.

The night light was still on by the time he got back to the bedroom and the other three were already in bed. He took one look at them and laughed.

Rin and Sousuke were both on their backs next to each other but making sure they weren’t touching and they were pretty much clutching the cover up to their chins. Makoto was on his side but had turned to look at Haru as he had entered, with an expression that easily translated to a call for help. Haru shook his head and then climbed over Makoto, whose arm went around his stomach right away. They both wiggled a bit until they found a nice position then Haru looked at the other two.

“You are not going to get any sleep like that.”

He could see Rin going red in the face and sighed. They really were hopeless. Haru craned his neck to look at Makoto but he was hiding his face in Haru’s neck and he sighed again. Honestly.

“Will you get the light Makoto?”

“Oh. Sure.” He heard him shuffle for a bit and soon darkness reigned. He blinked a few times, trying to let his eyes adjust. “Now that nobody can see you, can you just cuddle and sleep please?”

“Haru!” Rin squeaked and Haru could feel Makoto laughing into his neck.

“Your choice.” He grabbed Makoto’s arm, and pushed a bit further back into his embrace relaxing. There was just silence for a while and he almost gave up thinking it was no use when Rin broke first.

“Oh for … come over here Sousuke.”

There were sounds of shuffling then and covers being pulled. “Ow! Careful.”

“Sorry.” Sousuke’s contrite voice almost made him snigger but he managed to contain himself at the last moment, thinking they didn’t need any distractions at that moment. Makoto obviously wasn’t having such luck if the shaking of his body was anything to go by, not to mention how he’d practically stuck his head into Haru’s hair.

Soon though there was silence and then a soft sigh. Haru was pretty sure it came from Rin and he smiled into his pillow. Makoto patted his hand then and he caught his fingers, tangling them together.

“Good night guys.”

“Night!” The word was echoed back by the others and Haru relaxed, Makoto’s breaths soothing him to sleep.

~~

“Which one of you put the alarm on? It’s Sunday!” Rin’s voice echoed in the room and Makoto blinked his eyes open. The blaring that woke him up was coming from the night stand and he craned his neck only to see it was his phone.

“It’s my phone. Uh.” He tried turning but Haru had a death grip on his arm and wasn’t budging. “Haru. Let go. I’ll be right back.” Incoherent mumbling was his answer but at least he released his arm. Makoto finally snagged the phone, Rin glaring at him from the other side of the bed. Sousuke was wrapped up around him, soundly asleep and completely oblivious to the disturbance.

“Hello?”

“Makoto!” Nagisa’s voice greeted him and he smiled automatically. She always elicited that reaction from him.

“Morning Nagisa.”

“It’s almost eleven.”

“The phone woke us up.”

“You’re so lazy. Did that man of yours wear you out?”

“Nagisa!” He squeaked and she laughed. Makoto knew he should not react to her jabs and she’d probably stop but he really couldn’t help it.

“Ha! Knew it!” He spluttered but before he managed to protest she was already continuing. “Did you manage to talk to Sousuke? I need to talk to that friend of mine about the tickets.”

“Oh! Yes, he’s definitely going. It’s still this Friday, right?”

“Yes. I can’t wait, it’s going to be great!” He smiled at her happy voice and agreed. “I am looking forward to it too.”

“You two can continue this in the living room you know.” Rin added, yawning.

“Is that Rin? What have you been doing Makoto?” Her laughing, scandalized voice made him sigh. They were never going to hear the end of it. Haru turned in his arms then and grabbed the phone.

“Nagisa. We’re tired.”

Makoto sighed again. That was only going to make things worse.

“Sorry to disappoint but no. You’re still welcome to imagine it.”

He could swear he heard her cackling at that. Haru seemed completely unperturbed though.

“We had dinner together and way too much food and wine.” He listened to something on the other end and Makoto took the chance to comb his fingers through Haru’s hair. He peeked at the other two and saw that Rin was already nodding off again. Sousuke hadn’t even moved. Haru’s voice got him paying attention to the conversation again. “I’ll save some of the cake for you. I promise.” He yawned, his other hand clutching at Makoto’s shirt and nodded. “Yes, I will. Later!” Makoto took the phone from him, said his own good byes to her and then turned back. Haru moved even closer, not that he was certain that was even possible and buried his head into Makoto’s shirt. “Sleep some more?”

Makoto laughed softly. He kissed Haru's temple and made soothing circles down his back. It didn’t take long for him to nod off again. Makoto yawned himself and thought that a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt anything. Soon he felt himself falling asleep again, joining the other three.

“How you slept through that Sousuke, I honestly don’t know.”

Rin’s voice woke him up the second time and he blinked the sleep away from his eyes. Yawning he tried stretching but Haru’s arm had gone around him at some point during sleep and he was stopped by it. He blinked again then smiled. He really could be like a little octopus sometimes.

“Well look at Nanase.” Sousuke’s muffled voice answered.

“Haru’s weird, that’s different.”

Makoto snickered at that. Those two bickering reminded him a little of Haru and himself. “Am not weird.” Haru finally seemed to have emerged from sleep.

“You so are.”

“It’s too early for this, hush.”

Makoto bit his lip because Sousuke had just pulled Rin back against his chest and that was enough to get him to obey. He kissed Haru’s temple in comfort, then remembered his conversation to Nagisa. “Actually, there’s no way it’s early.” Managing to twist around somehow because Haru wouldn’t let go again, he peered blearily at his phone. “It’s past noon.”

“It’s Sunday, that constitutes as early.” Rin yawned at the end of that sentence, obviously not in the least inclined to get up.

“He’s right.” Haru piped up again.

“When these two agree with each other, you know we’re in trouble.” Sousuke grumbled and Makoto laughed. Privately he thought he was very much correct, as a combined force they were unstoppable. Also somewhat scary. He recalled the previous night and wondered what would come out of it. When trying to think back when he’d seen Haru that fiercely focused, he kept coming up with a blank. There were times when he had been intense but never quite like that. A part of him couldn’t wait to see what came out of it all but another part vowed to talk to him once they were on their own. Something like that could cloud one’s mind too and he remembered his own silent promise to himself from last night as well. He would do everything he could to help him achieve his dreams.

“I think we can handle breakfast, right Makoto?”

“Eh?” He blinked at Rin’s question.

“Breakfast. These two did most of the cooking last night, we should be able to handle breakfast.”

“Oh! Yes, I think so.” He nodded then tried prying Haru off. It took a bit of work and he smiled when he saw Rin was having a similar problem untangling himself from Sousuke who seemed to have gone back to sleep. He paused to throw the window open, as the weather seemed just wonderful before they finally padded out into the kitchen, Rin shaking his head.

“We’re going to come back and find them cuddling.”

Makoto was startled into laughter then but had to admit that it was a possibility. “We’re taking pictures if we do.”

“Now you’re talking!” His cackles echoed in the kitchen and Makoto thought it was a pretty good start of the day. Even if it was technically noon. They rummaged around the fridge trying to see what they could do.

“Rice and miso soup with wakame I think?” Makoto rubbed his chin and Rin nodded.

“I think some eggs too, I’m starving.”

“You’re always starving but Haru’s not much better these days. It’s all the training you guys are doing. Omelette?”

“Yes and maybe the left over sausages from last night.”

Makoto laughed, shaking his head but got everything out. He put on his apron, making Rin cackle again at his Orca image but just shrugged. He rather liked it and it was a gift from Haru after all.

They managed just fine in the end, even if they did bump into each other several times, and dropped one of the eggs on the floor. Makoto giggled at that because now he had something to use whenever Rin mentioned his one tiny kitchen fire. It wasn’t on the same level but still, it was comforting.

“How about breakfast in bed?” He turned to Rin who smiled widely at that suggestion.

“That’s a great idea.” He blushed making Makoto raise his eyebrow in question. “I like doing something like this for Sousuke. I still can’t believe we’re actually together. It hasn’t settled in properly.”

“But it’s good?”

A large smile suddenly burst on Rin’s face. “It’s amazing. It’s worth everything.”

Makoto nodded because that he understood perfectly. Patting Rin’s arm, he got the two large treys out and they piled everything on them, then got back to the bedroom. The other two were still asleep and Rin whined in disappointment that they were not in fact cuddling. Sousuke was sprawled on his back, lightly snoring, while Haru had managed to find Makoto’s dolphin plush and was curled around him.

He couldn’t resist then but grabbed his phone and took a photo of him like that. It was simply too cute to pass up. Rin laughed softly at him, calling him a sap and Makoto could only shrug because when it came to Haru, he was one without a doubt.

“Wake up now.” He kissed Haru’s hair, noticing that he still hadn’t had a haircut and smiled at the wrinkled nose that was his response. Makoto glanced at Rin and laughed when he saw that he simply plopped over Sousuke, apparently deciding that subtlety wasn’t going to cut it. He shook his head and glanced back at Haru who was now blinking slowly, trying to wake up.

“We made breakfast.”

More blinking and then a small smile appeared on Haru’s face before one of his hands sneaked into Makoto’s hair and pulled him down for a morning kiss. “Thank you.” Makoto smiled back at him, kissed him again then put the tray on the side and arranged them into their customary position of him leaning on the headboard and Haru between his legs.

Only then did he look at Sousuke and Rin again. They were seated side by side, already inhaling their food. He thought they had the right of it and got to it himself, Haru following along. In the end they actually managed to finish it all off, with Rin crowing how he was right and they were still growing boys who needed plenty of sustenance. Sousuke patted his hand in comfort which made him pout and Haru snickered.

“That was great Rin, Makoto.” He glanced over at him, giving him a peck and Makoto smiled back.

Sousuke nodded, patting his stomach. “That was great. I feel so lazy!” He flopped over back onto the bed, careful not to dislodge the trays which Rin took then and carried over to the kitchen. Haru was making himself comfortable in Makoto’s embrace and he wondered if they were all about to nod off again. Rin certainly seemed to have that idea as he clambered back onto bed as soon as he returned, demanding Sousuke act as a pillow too, pointing out Haru and Makoto.

“They’re spoiled Makoto.” Sousuke sighed but still allowed Rin to get comfortable, his face almost glowing with happiness.

Makoto tightened his arms around Haru and smiled. He didn’t mind spoiling Haru a bit because he’d turn around and do the exact same thing in return. Depositing another kiss in his hair, he sighed happily and closed his eyes.

“We’re so going to fall asleep again.” Haru mumbled and they all laughed lightly. None of them made a move to get up though and they spent the next hour or so talking a bit and just relaxing until Rin fidgeted for the tenth time.

Makoto opened one eye and snickered. “Spit it out Rin.”

“Eh?”

“You’ve been fidgeting like a two year old. What is it?”

“I’ve been thinking.”

“Uh oh.”

“Shut up Haru.” He poked him with his leg because he obviously couldn’t be bothered to move away from Sousuke and Makoto rolled his eyes. They were like kids sometimes. “Anyway. How about we take a little vacation together?”

This was met with silence before Haru lifted his head to look at him. “When are we supposed to fit this in?” He glanced quickly at Makoto but didn’t say more.

Makoto liked the idea but he agreed with Haru. Their schedule was pretty packed. It wasn’t just the month in Europe but there was his internship too and Sousuke and his studies to take into account.

“I’m not sure.” They all laughed at him then and he waved his hands around. “Oh laugh it up but listen. Makoto’s got his work and we’re going to be away for a full month but there’s just the Australia thing between that and the Asian Games. Sousuke will be at University by then but surely we can fit in four days or so somewhere after Europe?”

“I think it’d be great if we could.” Makoto shrugged thinking that he’d certainly welcome a few days just to relax between the start of his next school year and the internship.

Haru nodded. “Why not keep it in mind for when we return? We can’t decide now, it’s too early but once we’re back we should start looking.”

They all murmured their agreements, smiling. It was quite apparent they got along brilliantly and Makoto honestly couldn’t think of a better way to spend a small summer trip but with Haru and their closest friends. It’d probably take some creative juggling in the end but he was sure they could pull it off if they only tried.

“Come on little monster.” Sousuke gave Rin a nudge. “We’ve taken enough of their time.”

Makoto and Haru protested because they truly liked having them over. They of course enjoyed their time alone together but this was great too. Makoto was certain that Haru wasn’t exaggerating either, he loved it even if he grumbled sometimes. It was more for show than anything else. Sousuke and Rin got changed quickly, Rin grumbling about old clothes which just made Haru laugh.

“Just bring a change over next time, you can leave it here.”

Sousuke glanced at them and Makoto just nodded. “He’s right, it’s not like that’ll take much space. Let’s be honest, this is so going to happen again.”

Rin snickered. “We’re so lazy. But thank you Makoto, Haru.”

They all hugged even if Makoto had to keep himself from laughing about how awkward Sousuke and Haru still were. He didn’t dare look at Rin because he was pretty sure that’d set him off and he’d never stop. Waving at the duo, they finally closed the door and he sighed.

“I didn’t expect it to go so well.”

Haru was stretching, so he just nodded.

“So what are we going to do now?” He walked over to the window and opened that one too. The day was absolutely glorious and Makoto was more than rested. “I know we didn’t plan on it but how about a walk or something?”

“To our rock?”

“Oh!” That sounded as a wonderful idea so he just nodded quickly at him and walked over to give him a kiss. Their lips met in a caress and he smiled. “I’d love that.”

“I’m going to make us some sandwiches to take with us.” Haru nodded and walked over to the kitchen. Makoto grinned even wider, thinking they could actually have a little picnic and went looking for some snacks they might have that they could bring along and found a couple of Haru’s sports drinks to take with them. Soon they had everything packed in a backpack and they changed and hurried outside.

The train ride was quite packed because it seemed to Makoto that most of Tokyo had the same idea they had. Of course it wasn’t like he could blame them, the city was famous for its summers so making the best use of days like this, especially for the weekend, was a must. They finally disembarked and strolled over to the garden.

“It’s so green!” Makoto exclaimed in excitement. He grabbed Haru’s hand and tugged him forward, wanting to get away from the concrete and noise as soon as possible. It was crowded too without a doubt but still, it didn’t bother him at all. Everything was blooming and so vibrant, that it was making him feel alive and happy. Haru being with him to share it with just made it better. The man in question just laughed, obviously delighted by it all himself and they walked briskly until they reached the water. Slowing down then by silent agreement, they strolled down the paths, enjoying the wonderful day and sunshine.

Stopping at the red bridge was something they had to do, it was one of those places that they both found important for them. They rarely actually talked about those moments, Makoto thought to himself, but it didn’t really prevent him from just knowing that Haru felt the exact same way as he did. He could tell by the way Haru was leaning into him just then, his eyes closed and head turned towards Makoto. Unable to resist he threaded his fingers in Haru’s hair, eliciting a low hum of contentment from him.

They just stood there for a while, not noticing the people around them, and Makoto thought that for a  few moments there, his world had narrowed down to Haru, the sounds of the water and the nature around them. Everything seemed to have slowed down and he could just breathe and be with the one he loved.

_Life waits for no one._

_How lucky were we to have met so early?_

He shivered then, as if some invisible hand touched him. He couldn’t help but think just how much of this was predestined. Thinking of all the things that happened, he was sure that all the choices they made had led them down this path. It could have so easily gone some other way but they didn’t let it. He smiled then and loathe as he was to leave this place, he tugged at Haru again, getting them moving.

Their rock was waiting for them and Makoto laughed when Haru picked up his pace as they caught sight of it. The water was sparkling, and the swans still slowly paddling around. They settled down and sighed at the same time, then smiled at each other.

“I’m so glad we decided to come here!”

Haru nodded and let his head rest on Makoto’s shoulder. He drew him closer then recalled his thoughts from earlier.

“I was wondering about last night.”

“Hmm?”

Rolling their conversation from then once more in his mind, he pondered on how best to phrase it.

“Remember Kobayashi Iwao?”

Haru’s sudden interruption startled him and he could just nod. He was getting used to Haru’s sudden turns of the conversation, especially as sooner or later they ended up at the right point anyway. Just waiting seemed the best idea then so he squeezed his shoulder again to let him know he was paying attention.

“At the end there, I realized I didn’t actually care what he thought. Oh, I wanted to prove him wrong and it had been so fantastic when I had finally managed it but my actions weren’t going to be dictated by him. To let that happen, it would have meant he won.”

“Oh Haru.” Makoto glanced around, noticing there was no one in the vicinity just then and quickly placed a kiss on his lips. He was always amazed how deeply Haru understood him and at the same time, he was immensely happy Haru saw the dangers himself.

“I want to prove them all wrong. And I want to prove to them that who I love has nothing to do with just how good I am.” He peered up at Makoto and smiled. “But yes, I do need to be careful. I need not lose sight of who I am when doing that. I swim because I love to do it. Because going up against all those people is a test for myself, the desire to be the best the ultimate dream.”

“I don’t want you to lose that joy Haru, when it’s you and the water.” Makoto let his gaze wander over the water. Oh he understood, he understood quite well just how tempting it was to make the whole idea a goal. He had similar desires after all. To prove to his parents that he was a worthy son, a success in his field, a success in life. But how satisfactory would that be _? No, I want to be successful for me. I want to be the best I can be for me. I want to be happy and live my life for me. Where it takes me, we’ll see but whatever I do, I want to do for me._ “If our happiness and success in the end proves a point, all the better. But we need to do it for us.”

Haru kissed his cheek and smiled and Makoto knew that there was no need to explain further what he meant.

“It’s why we have each other.” He raised an eyebrow at that and Haru grinned, before returning to his previous position of resting on Makoto’s shoulder. “To make sure we don’t lose the sight of what truly matters.”

“Yes, we do, don’t we?”

Thinking how truly fortunate he was, he relaxed against Haru, and sighed. They’d have their picnic in a bit, enjoy the water and then the sunset. Their home would be waiting for them, cosy and comfortable, and theirs.

_How lucky._

_I am never going to let go of this chance I’ve been given._

They would both hold on so he felt truly blessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of plot and a bit of fluff. Hope that was enjoyable XD


	28. Chapter 28

#  Chapter 28

 

“Makoto must be over the moon.”

Haru laughed and nodded at Rin. They were lounging around, their bellies full and music playing in the background. Makoto and Sousuke had gone out with Nagisa, to see that band they had talked about and Rin had come over as they had agreed.

Makoto had gotten the results of his exams earlier in the week and much like Haru had suspected, he’d done incredibly well. He’d kept his top spot and had fulfilled all the necessary requirements for the scholarship. They both refused to celebrate in advance as one simply never knew but they had both been beyond happy. Makoto had done his best and they could just wait now and see if it was enough. Same went for Ryuujin, he had sent out the grades, to complete his application, as he had said he would and more waiting was in order for that too. Of course, he’d done it for other internships as well but they had both known he had his dreams set on only one.

“He is still anxious about the internship but just knowing his year is essentially successfully completed is a huge load off his shoulders.” Rin didn’t know about the scholarship as that was the one thing Makoto had shared with only him. He was often torn when thinking about those two. If he had to choose just one then it was hard to settle. The scholarship would certainly bring a huge boost of security to Makoto but on the other hand, the internship was something that he wanted just for himself. There were no other reasons except the idea of working at such a place, with children and the challenge of it. Lately, especially after their talk in the garden, he kept thinking that the latter would be overall more beneficial. He still hoped that for a change life would be kind, Makoto would get both and all that hard work would pay off.

“Haru?”

“Oh, just thinking.”

“Don’t worry about it. If there’s one thing that Ryuujin appreciates, it’s actual hard work and results, and Makoto has both. Sousuke has told me Makoto’s University is highly regarded too, it’s second on his list as well.”

“How’s that going?”

Rin shrugged before stretching his legs. “He is studying whenever he can but I can tell he’s getting a bit anxious now. I suppose that’s normal but I wish I could help somehow.”

“You can.” Haru got up to pour the tea that was finally ready. “Make sure he leaves enough time for himself too, go out every once in a while, just help him relax.”

“Doesn’t sound like enough.”

“I know.” He shrugged and handed Rin’s cup to him, before joining him on the couch again. “But Makoto swears that it is and that it’s a huge help. I have to believe him.”

Rin nodded, and Haru turned to his tea, letting him think it over. He could relate to wanting to help and this was the best advice he had.

“We’re going to have fun.”

“Eh?”

“In Europe. I can’t wait!” Rin laughed, folding his legs underneath him and turning to face Haru. “I’ve never been there before.”

“I’ve only ever been to Australia, thanks to you.” Haru shrugged but he couldn’t deny being excited as well. "I can’t wait either!” They grinned to each other, sharing the excitement. It was so long ago that they’ve started swimming together and now their world had expanded so much, and yet, there they were still, in the same pool, pushing each other to the same dreams.

“Let me show you something!” Rin stuffed his cup in Haru’s fumbling hands, then groped for his phone. Amused by the sudden action, Haru could only shake his hand and wait it out. “Here!” He pushed the screen in front of Haru and let the video play. It took a few seconds for him to realize what he was seeing. A race was going on, free of course, and he couldn’t take his eyes off from it. It was exciting, some great swimmers too but the pool, the pool was amazing.

“Where is this?” He simply needed to know. “And how do we get there?”

Rin laughed in delight before moving the phone back to himself. Haru had to resist the impulse to steal it out of his hands and thanked his lucky stars that he was forced to hold both tea cups and therefore couldn’t do it even if he wanted to. Oh and how he wanted to. He crowded next to Rin who just laughed again and then showed him another video, before taking his cup back.

“Berlin. This year’s European Championship is going to be held there and we my friend are going to swim there too. One of the meets we’re scheduled for this summer is going to be there.”

“But the Euro’s?”

“In August. While we’re at it we need to make sure to watch them carefully, lots of potential contenders will be there.”

Haru could feel the smile blooming on his face. He returned his attention to the video and let it play out again. Frowning, he sighed. “I’m not good enough.”

“What?”

“I’m not good enough yet, to be a threat to them.” He sighed, then put his now empty cup on the little table near him. “Everyone thinks I don’t pay attention to much of anything but my own practices but that’s not true. As if I could avoid it anyway, what with Sousuke being my coach now but I’ve been researching too.” Snorting, he shook his head and shrugged. “The simple truth is that although I do have the A norms for the World’s and I’ve taken care of that, I’m still not in the competition for medals.”

“Only someone who doesn’t know you would think that.” Rin huffed. “You’re ridiculously focused when you want something. If anyone knows that, I do.” Haru slanted a glance at him and smirked. It was the truth. He may have few interests but those he did, they were everything to him and he did his all to achieve what he wanted. “It’s not quite that bleak and we still have time.”

“No, it’s not. It’s the worst in the 100m. I need to use the time in Europe to the best of my ability.”

“Sousuke said Mizushima-san will have a few of his European coach friends come over and give us a few pointers too. Plus I think Mizushima-san has smelled blood now, he’s going to push and push until you are on top.”

Haru laughed because he definitely had the same feeling. These days whenever he saw his coach he could swear he saw the calculations and little gears turning in his head. How much he’s improved, what else needs to be done, where he was relative to others. “You’re not getting out of that either, just so you know.”

Laughing, Rin shook his head. “I wouldn’t want to! My coach has been pushing a lot since the Nationals and I feel like it’s going to get even better now that we’re completely settled down at the club.”

Haru was quiet for a few minutes, just staring at the wall and then he looked at Rin, who had a faraway look in his eyes. He wondered what he was seeing. “You know, I only really got what happened when two girls asked for my autograph, that day at the aquarium.”

“Eh?”

“That I’m the best in Japan. In our country.” He rubbed his eyes. The notion still scrambled his brain a bit when he faced it head on. “I was with Makoto and these two girls came up to me, asked for my autograph because they saw the Nationals and wanted me to sign their things. It’s when it actually clicked, how far I’ve come. How far we’ve come. It happened so quickly Rin, I still have trouble believing it sometimes.”

“You could say we’ve been working towards this since we were kids.”

“You were. I just swam.” He shifted around then too, smiling. “But I keep thinking. It’s the country. What we’re talking about here is the entire world. I am not sure I can comprehend that.”

“It’s a pretty big dream.”

They sat on Haru’s couch, just looking at each other.

“Do you think we can do it?” Rin’s whisper reached him, making him blink. Rin had always been the confident one. There had been no doubt in him that they could do it whenever he spoke about reaching the Olympics and even winning medals. But Haru was aware of the weight he carried with him, his father’s legacy permanently looming in the distance no matter how much Rin had found himself in swimming too. He had seen during Nationals just how anxious Rin could get, and his words now just confirmed for him how it was not easy for the other man too. There were fears and doubts too, much like Haru harboured himself.

“Yes.”

He grinned at Rin. His answer had obviously startled him, being short and decisive but Haru truly believed it. Sometimes after practices he would just float in the water to relax and then on occasion let himself sink, hearing nothing but the water, feeling nothing but the water. It would run through him then, washing away all those impurities, the fears, the niggling doubts and he could clearly see. They could do it.

“Together we can.”

Rin grinned back then and surged into a hug. He patted his back, resting his head on Rin’s shoulder, thinking how without him, he wouldn’t even be there. But then if they hadn’t met so long ago, would Rin be there either? They couldn’t know but most of their lives they pushed and pulled each other, and Haru was certain they could reach this goal too, together.

A loud sniff reached him and he smiled, patting Rin’s back again. Some things would never change.

“More tea?” He pulled back, knowing Rin needed some time but if he were honest, he was a little bit emotional himself. A nod was his answer so he collected their cups and went to refill them. By the time he was back Rin was smiling and dangling the game controllers at him.

“A game?”

“Sure.” He handed over Rin’s cup then settled down and they picked the game.

“Get ready to have your arse kicked.”

“You wish.”

“Just admit I’m better Haru, it’s going to be less painful that way.”

“Keep on talking. It’s going to be so much more embarrassing that way when I clean the floor with you.”

Rin laughed, waving his hands at him. “Bring it on brother, bring it on!”

They cackled and started the race, jostling each other both on and off the screen. They didn’t stop smiling the entire time.

~~

“You should have seen your face Makoto!”

Nagisa was holding on to him and laughing.

“That was so weird.”

Sousuke started cackling then and Makoto blinked. He could probably count the number of times he’d seen him like that on his fingers, it was such a rare sight.

“She’s right! You should have seen your face!” Shaking his head, he clapped Makoto on the shoulder. “Haru is going to get a kick out of it.”

“Uh oh. You don’t know him well enough then Yamazaki.”

“Eh?”

Nagisa laughed again. “He’s really possessive over Makoto here.”

“Well maybe better not tell him some girl kept hitting on you all night long.” Sousuke cackled again and Makoto flushed. He waved his hands around, uselessly trying to get them to stop.

“She did not!”

“Oh she so did. You just didn’t notice until the end there.” Nagisa patted his arm. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. You can’t help being hot and she was just as oblivious as you were, not getting that you weren’t interested in that way.”

“Just my luck.” He knew he was pouting but honestly. “It was a great concert though!” He tried changing the subject and luckily they put him out of his misery and agreed. It truly had been a great concert. The band was as fantastic as Nagisa had said, they were better live than the recordings he’d heard, and they were already making plans for the next time they could go. Sousuke grumbled how he couldn’t go with them later that summer to one of the bigger festivals but then he recalled why and stopped. It was a good bargain after all, Makoto reminded him, laughing.

They parted at the station then, Sousuke going one way and Makoto taking Nagisa home. He’d insisted even though she kept protesting. He’d have felt bad otherwise so in the end it was more like she was doing him a favour. Makoto found that more than fine. They’d chatted for a few minutes before Nagisa finally waved him off and soon he was on his way home.

He kept humming under his breath but he really couldn’t help it. The songs were truly contagious and his body felt full of energy and alive. Wondering how Haru’s night went with Rin, he finally reached their apartment and let himself in. Rin’s shoes weren’t there so he must have left home already but that wasn’t that strange as it was pretty late by then.

The living room was empty and the lights out so he tiptoed carefully across the room, in case Haru had gone to sleep. He’d had a full practice day and was usually tired by the time he’d get home. Even more so than before he had seemed focused this past week and Makoto was certain it had to do with his new additional resolve to do his best and improve. A strip of light under the door caught his eye then and he sighed in relief, knowing Haru was waiting up. He couldn’t quite explain why but he was glad.

“I’m home!”

“Sneaking about! I didn’t hear you!” Haru wrinkled his nose and put away the book he was reading. Makoto didn’t get to see which one it was because he was being distracted by Haru who had gone on his knees on the bed and beckoning him with a finger. Smiling, he walked over and accepted the kiss.

“Welcome home.”

“Best welcome.” He stole another light kiss, then shrugged. “I’m glad you waited. I wasn’t sure you were up, so I tried being quiet.”

“Of course I waited.” Haru was looking a bit to the side, and Makoto got reminded of his shy side. Haru’s arms sneaked around his neck then and he got drawn into a hug. “I wanted to be sure you were home safe.” He mumbled, his head in the crook of Makoto’s neck and he rubbed his back. “I’m glad. I was happy when I saw that you did.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.” Unable to resist, he cupped Haru’s head and drew him into a long, slow kiss. “Really happy.” Their eyes locked for a few moments before they kissed again.

“Was it fun?”

“Yes! It was brilliant!” Makoto nodded and started unbuttoning his shirt. “There’s just something about live music that’s different than listening to a track. It’s almost like an interaction between the band and the audience, so amazing.” He waved his arms around, trying to emphasize his point. It was hard to explain so he’d simply have to take Haru with him one day. “Did you have fun with Rin?”

Haru nodded. “It was good.”

Makoto waited for him to go on but seeing that nothing else was forthcoming, he smiled and pressed their lips together again. “I’m going to go shower, I desperately need one. Be back soon.” He grabbed his sleep pants, thinking how it was already getting quite warm and soon they’d be even able to sleep with the window somewhat open. Haru was settling back on the bed when he entered the bathroom and he grinned, wondering if he was truly tired. Makoto was feeling quite energetic himself. Shower was a must though so he wasted no time in getting under the spray and scrubbing himself down. All that jumping had made him sweat.

He stepped out, turning the water off and quickly towelled his hair. Haru was waiting for him and he smiled when he saw that he had turned down the covers for him.

“Did Sousuke say he was going home?”

Frowning at the unexpected question, he thought back and nodded. “Yes, I think so. Why?”

“Rin will be waiting for him, that’s why.” Haru giggled.

“What did you two cook up now?” He pushed Haru on his back, then covered his body with his own while holding himself up on his elbows and kissed him. “I am not so sure you should be left alone to plot. Poor Sousuke. Oh wait, no, never mind.”

“Oh?”

“He kept teasing me.” Another kiss, this time with more heat and Haru hummed below him, his arms going around Makoto’s back.

“About?” Haru nipped at his lower lip and he almost forgot what they were talking about, a little growl escaping him. He shook his head, trying to focus then rolled his eyes. “Some girl kept talking to me. I didn’t actually realize what she wanted until she tried getting me to go out with her.”

Haru frowned and Makoto decided that another kiss would be a good strategy so he did. This one was even more passionate and when Haru scratched his back, his hips bucked forward and he growled again. “Haru.” A note of warning was in his voice but really, Haru knew what that did to him.

“She can’t have you.”

“Mmm.” Makoto nosed his neck and nipped gently before sucking and then kissing down his jaw back to his mouth.

“You’re mine.”

He kissed him again then, his tongue invading Haru’s mouth and staking claim, while allowing his body weight to press him down into the bed. He could feel Haru moving subtly beneath him, inviting him to join in. “All yours.” He didn’t waste any time in claiming another kiss but Haru broke it quickly.

“Show me.” He scratched his nails down Makoto’s back again and it was like something flew loose inside of Makoto. He backed up on his knees then, hauling Haru with him, and kissed him, his hand holding Haru’s head in place as he plundered his mouth. Allowing for just a quick intakes of breath, he kept kissing him until he could feel Haru moving continuously against him, his hands kneading Makoto’s shoulders.

He tugged on Haru’s shirt and they quickly disposed of it. Unable to stop himself, he allowed his hands to roam those strong muscles, while he attached his lips to Haru’s neck and left little kisses down the long column. Haru was tugging on his pants and he nodded, moving away. It didn’t take them long to get completely naked, Makoto grabbing the supplies from the night stand. There was no way he was stopping to get those once they got going. Another long, deep kiss followed and he pushed on Haru’s hip then, asking him to turn around. Haru just blinked at him then a slow, seductive smile showed up on his face before he moved, his back to Makoto’s front.

He stretched on purpose, giving Makoto a small smirk across his shoulder as if in a challenge and Makoto smiled. Oh he could so play that game.

One of his hands went around Haru’s neck, holding him in place for the open mouthed kisses he left along it, the other going straight for his nipple, toying with it lightly. He pinched it, then gave the hard nub a light flick. Haru pressed back into him but Makoto moved his hips further back, ignoring the whine that followed. He had plans and they did not include losing control and ending this quickly.

Makoto took his time teasing Haru, his hand roaming his body as far as he could reach but carefully avoiding his cock, his mouth nipping and biting. Light touches made Haru crazy and indeed, soon enough he was emitting small continuous moans. Feeling about, he located the lube and quickly coated his fingers. His hand returned to Haru’s neck, craning it so as they could kiss while his fingers found his entrance and gently circled it.

Haru was pushing back at him but he would not be hurried and he kept to light presses for a while before finally giving in and pressing one of his fingers inside. Haru’s sob of relief made him smile and he bit down on his shoulder. He was careful to avoid Haru’s prostate but he pumped his finger in a steady rhythm before adding a second, then a third. “Makoto.” Haru’s voice was low and deep but he just nipped his shoulder again and continued stretching him. He didn’t want to take any chances with this plus he couldn’t deny he loved seeing Haru so eager for their union.

He pushed on Haru’s jaw again and claimed another kiss before his fingers finally left his body. Haru went to lean on his arms but Makoto stopped him. “Not like that. Like this.”

His arm went across Haru’s, keeping them pinned to Haru’s body, though he could move his forearms to hold onto Makoto and they were both kneeling up. Makoto wondered how long they could last that way but he was willing to try. Not wanting to waste any more time, he slowly pushed forward, while Haru pushed back. The angle was different to what he was used to and Haru shifted, his knees going further apart. That made it almost perfect and Makoto couldn’t stop himself from starting to move right away. He kept it slow though, not allowing Haru to speed them up, their bodies moving together.

Knowing he couldn’t keep it that way for too long, he brought his other arm around Haru’s hips, almost completely keeping him pinned to Makoto now, at his mercy and sped up the movement of his own. Going as deep as he would like wasn’t possible but that was exactly what was making him more excited. He could feel Haru’s hands almost clawing him, his body demanding freedom to move but Makoto refused, and kept at his own pace. Suddenly he heard Haru cry out before he relaxed in his embrace, surrendering to Makoto completely.

The feeling that brought was indescribable, Haru completely relinquishing control to him made his desire spike but he was determined more than ever to make it last as long as possible for both of them. Every time he moved, a little cry would escape Haru’s mouth, and Makoto was spiralling further and further. In the end he could not hold on any more and finally let go, Haru immediately moving forward, resting on his hands. Makoto followed, his body covering Haru’s and he groaned as he finally had what he had wished for, when they'd stood in front of the mirror that time.

Their instincts took over then and they moved hard and fast, chasing that final goal that was right there, the slap of their bodies meeting loud in his ears. Makoto had enough presence of mind to reach around and take Haru in hand, while biting down on his shoulder. It took just a few pulls of his hand, and Haru was crying out, spilling over, his muscles spasming around Makoto, and pushing him over the edge too.

They were both completely spent then, Makoto lowering them both on the bed, his body still on top of Haru’s. He had to move, his weight pressing Haru into the bed, so he slowly pulled out, and slid to the side. His arms and legs felt boneless, his strength sapped. He also felt incredible.

Haru groaned finally and managed to lift a bit and look at Makoto.

“All mine.”

“All yours.” He found enough strength then to move over and take Haru’s mouth in a long kiss, both of them moaning into it at the end. Haru’s eyes were sparkling when they finally pulled apart, a small smile on his lips. It had been a claiming, on both sides, and it made him thrilled to his toes.

“We need a bath.”

He blinked and looked at Haru, then thought of how far away the bathroom was.

“Only if you carry me there.”

~~

Haru woke slowly, becoming aware of the sounds of the day around him. He could hear Makoto’s steady breathing, feel the body around him and smiled into his pillow. He felt good and then stretched, before wincing. That brought the events of the night before into focus, making him blink. It had been completely outside of his expectations, he felt completely claimed but at the same time, he had claimed Makoto too.

He hadn’t thought he would be able to let go so completely, to give up all control to another person and let them take over. His mind had shut off then and he had just felt. It had been almost too much, he had teetered on that edge but never crossed it before his climax had finally hit. The experience had been so all encompassing that there were still traces of it under his skin. Haru definitely wanted a repeat of that one day. He’d just have to find a way to let Makoto know.

Smiling again, he managed to turn in Makoto’s embrace.

The man who’d brought him so much pleasure was still asleep, his hair deliciously mussed, his arm clenching on Haru’s back, as if to make sure he was still there. They had decided against a bath last night after all, though only after Haru demanded payment in kisses. Makoto had managed to pad to the bathroom in the end and get a wash cloth to clean them up, before they’d cuddled together and quickly fallen asleep.

Haru kissed him lightly, then again, when Makoto failed to stir even a little. “Makoto.” He peppered his face with kisses and finally got a reaction, in form of a scrunched nose. Haru laughed, then kissed its tip, causing Makoto to finally blink his eyes open.

“Morning.”

“Morning.” Makoto’s voice was rough, full of sleep and made Haru shiver. He kissed him again, a slow press of lips and Makoto moaned lightly.

“Now about that bath.” Haru murmured against his lips and Makoto laughed.

“All right, all right.”

They kissed again before Haru just shrugged. “You promised last night.”

“I did, true.”

Makoto moved then, stretching and slowly got out of the bed. He reached out towards Haru, who gratefully accepted the hand and then stretched himself. He winced again and then laughed. Makoto had a worried look on his face but he just waved him off and brought their lips together. “Hush, it was perfect. Now bath.” He tugged him towards the tub and while he let the water run, Makoto got their bath oil and towels ready.

They’d settled in, both sighing in relief, Haru wiggling to find the perfect spot.

“I’m so glad you have the day off today.” Makoto’s arm landed on Haru’s back, rubbing small circles on his skin.

“So am I.” He laughed then pressed even closer. “We are still on for that shopping trip?”

“Of course. We definitely need those sheets.” Makoto glanced at him and shrugged. “Quite desperately actually.”

“We should probably get more than one set then. Do we even know where we’re going?”

“Yes, I asked Koizumi.”

Haru blinked and attached his lips to Makoto’s but their kiss didn’t last long as Makoto seemed to be having a fit of giggles. “She’s going to get married and have three kids and you’ll still be pouting over her.” Makoto’s hand grasped his head and then they were kissing again, long and hard. “Though, if these are the benefits, I’ll take it.” He was being pressed into Makoto then and they both moaned in unison.

“We’re supposed to be going shopping.”

Pouting for real now, he sighed and nodded. They truly did have to go and of course they had the whole day to themselves then. Figuring they better get a move on, he washed himself off then helped Makoto, and soon they were ready to leave. Watching Makoto’s back, as they left the apartment, he silently congratulated himself for insisting on that shirt. If nothing else, he was going to have something incredible to look at all day long.

The train ride was fast and soon they found themselves in a huge store, one that didn’t sell just linen but beds as well. They walked around, just browsing, before finally finding what they were looking for. Though that was probably too optimistic a thought, Haru grumbled to himself. There were so many things on offer and his hand automatically clutched Makoto’s. A smile was sent his way and he smiled back.

“Any preference?”

He looked around, thinking. “Nothing too garish.” Spotting something he did like, he tugged Makoto along. “I like those.”

Makoto’s laughter made him look up at him in puzzlement. “It’s blue Haru, of course you do.”

His head tilted to observe the colour again before looking back at Makoto. “It’s not completely blue.”

“Yes, there’s that bit of grey in it.” He laughed, his hand squeezing Haru’s. “Like the sea in a storm almost. I rather like them too.”

“You should pick one now.”

Makoto nodded and they browsed a bit more before he pointed at a lovely beige and brown combination. “I think I’d like those. They go along with the rest of the room.”

Haru raised his eyebrow at that. He hadn’t really thought about that at all when he had chosen the other set. Looking back, it still seemed to fit so he decided not to change anything. “I love it. A set of plain white too, and that’s it. Shall we get the sales person?”

They looked around a bit and soon enough a young woman approached them, asking if she could help them. Makoto took over, pointing out their choices.

“I just need to know what size you need, if we have these models for them.”

Haru blinked and looked at Makoto who looked equally baffled. Luckily, she seemed to get their predicament and pointed to one of the bigger beds further down on display.

Shaking his head at her, he looked around. “Our bed is bigger. Ah, there.” Makoto coughed and Haru almost laughed at the pure red of his face. He shrugged because he didn’t see how else he was supposed to explain it to her. She nodded at him, her face more than a bit pink too but she was smiling and got their choices quickly after that.

“That was surprisingly fun.” Haru blinked into the afternoon sun, enjoying the warmth.

Makoto shuffled the bags he was holding, they had gotten another two pillows in the end as well, before responding. “And relatively painless too.” He grinned and Haru knew exactly what he was referring to but chose to ignore it.

“It feels kind of a shame to go home right away. Let’s have coffee somewhere.”

Loving the suggestion, he quickly complied and they strolled along before they spotted a lovely little secluded café. “Oh Haru look, they have little pastries too.” Makoto tugged him over to the counter where there was an excellent choice. They bickered a bit over who would get what, laughing in the end and deciding they’d just share in between them and ordered before grabbing a table.

After a little while, their coffees arrived and they relaxed and just chatted the hour away. Haru was eyeing the pastries again because they had been great and he was feeling hungry already when he noticed Makoto’s attention was drawn to something behind him. Turning, he peeked and smiled at the little boy playing with his toys quietly, while his parents enjoyed their refreshments. Those pastries seemed even more inviting now and he got up, making sure to get the one Makoto particularly enjoyed for him.

Putting the plate in front of him, he smiled at Makoto’s surprised face. A sheepish smile made its appearance and he wanted to kiss it. Pesky public places prevented him though, so he settled for patting his hand.

“You miss them.”

Makoto nodded, his eyes sad. “I do. Talking on the phone once a month is not the same.”

Haru had wanted to ask for a while now if Makoto would consider going to see them but at the same time he was quite reluctant. They’d talked about nearly everything and yet, sometimes he’d get stuck, unable to breach the subject. The cause of it was known to him, he simply didn’t want to see Makoto hurt and everything about that did. When Rin had mentioned going somewhere together, his first thought had been Iwatobi but he’d stopped himself from saying it, considering everything that had happened.

“But I think I’m going to go see them.”

“Oh?” Haru blinked. This was the first time Makoto had mentioned it and while he was glad, he had a bad feeling Makoto meant soon.

“The scholarship results should be in next week. If all goes well, I’m going to inform my parents and take the opportunity to see the twins. They did say I could, as long as I kept any mention of us to myself, much like for the phone calls.”

“I don’t like it.” It was exactly as he had feared.

“Haru?”

Makoto frowned at him, looking puzzled and Haru caught his hand. “I don’t mean you seeing the kids, I mean you going without me. I’m so glad you’re going to see them.” He glanced away and shrugged. “I thought about going to Iwatobi, that day when we talked about vacation. But now, I can’t go with you, the Invitational is coming and I can’t leave.”

He felt his hand being squeezed and looked back, to see Makoto smiling gently at him. “I know. It’s going to be all right though. I won’t lie that it won’t be painful, my parents are not going to change their minds any time soon, if ever but it’ll be worth it, spending time with the little ones. I won’t be gone long, I figured maybe four days, at the end of the week. About that,” Makoto cleared his throat, “I hope you don’t mind if I stay at your house.”

Haru narrowed his eyes. “Only if you clean it top to bottom and stock my fridge with mackerel.” He hoped turning everything to a joke would ease the mood, plus anger was rising within him that Makoto couldn’t stay at his childhood home and he didn’t want this spilling over.

Makoto laughed and grabbed his croissant. “I don’t know Haru, that’s a pretty steep price.”

“I could demand payment in other services.” He waggled his eyebrows, startling Makoto who coughed.

“Haru!”

“Hmm, let’s see. You would start with a massage, then…”

“Haru!” Makoto hissed, going red and Haru couldn’t help himself any longer. He laughed, waving his hand, feeling pleased with himself for diverting his attention to more innocuous things. “The things you do to me.” Shaking his head, Makoto smiled and Haru had to bite his tongue. Blinking at him, Makoto went red again then quickly stuffed a bite into his mouth.

Deciding that he’d let it go for now, he was a good boyfriend after all, Haru focused his attention on his own bagel. They ate in companionable silence, Haru humming on occasion. His phone beeped and he scrolled down to check his texts.

“Oh!”

Makoto rose his eyebrows in question as his mouth was full and Haru turned his phone around for him to see.

“Mother’s coming to that congress she mentioned.”

“Oh! I was wondering if I would miss her but if everything works out as planned, I will be here for her visit.”

Haru smiled, happy that Makoto got along with his mother. It helped at least a little bit and she truly cared for Makoto too. That was definitely not something he had expected but his relationship with his mother had turned out to be one of the best things to have happened thanks to becoming a couple with Makoto. His father and his silence still plagued him but he refused to think much about it, especially now when his swimming schedule was intensifying.

“The confirmations are in for the Invitational.”

“Oh!” Makoto picked up his coffee, having finished with his food. “Any unexpected absences?”

“No.” Haru shook his head. “I’m glad of it, too. We are missing some of the very best names in free but still a lot of great swimmers. It’ll be a good experience.”

“Your first international race. I can’t believe it!” Makoto smiled and Haru had to smile back. His joy was catching and it wasn’t as if Haru wasn’t already excited himself. “I’m so glad it’s starting. I need races under my belt.”

Leaning forward, Makoto took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’re going to do wonderfully!”

“Thank you Makoto.” He had to smile, it was so nice to know Makoto believed in him like that. He felt great about his swimming and had hopes for the future.

That good mood was still holding a few days later too, when he stood by the side of the pool, waiting for Mizushima-san to finish talking to another swimmer who had interrupted them for a quick question. Haru watched a few of his fellow swimmers doing their laps and thought that everyone was putting in a lot of hard work. He almost snorted when he spotted his former coach talking to one of his swimmers, a young woman who was also swimming free. Haru wished her well.

“Sorry about that Nanase.”

“It’s perfectly all right.”

“About this summer.” He started walking towards the starting block and Haru followed him. “I don’t know if Yamazaki has mentioned anything but I’ve made quite a few friends in my time in the swimming world. We’ll have some visitors in our training camp but most importantly, one of them is coming specifically to take a look at you. He’s coached some famous names and he’ll stay with us for a while. That, combined with the races you’ll be doing, should give you a good boost.”

Haru nodded, feeling grateful. “Thank you for taking such good care of me Mizushima-san. I truly appreciate it.” He recalled that night and figured he should definitely be able to talk to his coach about those things. “I’ve been talking to Yamazaki and I know I have a long way to go yet.” He knew he was frowning but he couldn’t help himself.

“Don’t like being dismissed ah?”

Startled, Haru focused on his coach and found him grinning. “Ah, so you did see it. I didn’t think you’d be one to check such things online.”

“Ah.” He rubbed his neck and shrugged. “It was Matsuoka and Yamazaki, actually, we had dinner with them the other night and they mentioned reading about it.” His coach smirked and Haru had to bite his lip, he could guess where that came from but chose to continue as that was definitely too embarrassing a topic when it came to Mizushima-san. “I don’t like it at all.”

“You’re correct in that you have a long way to go yet but I don’t think it’s as long as you think. We’re working to prepare you as best as possible. Your swimming and gym sessions are tailored specifically to you. Your body is being built up properly. What’s left is determination and a desire to win. Do you want to win Nanase?”

Haru stared at the man and nodded. “I want to win it all.”

“Good.” The grin sent his way was more scary than anything he’s seen before and yet, it was exactly what he wanted to see right now. He needed his coach to feel the same way about this. “One thing to rectify is your lack of races and that is going to be done soon. You’re going to love Europe!”

“I can’t wait.”

“That’s the spirit.” Mizushima-san looked at him again, his face serious. “You know Nanase, I don’t like it either. I don’t think people should be dismissed, especially when they are just starting and yet to show their full potential.” He nodded and gave Haru’s shoulder a friendly pat. “You’ll show them.”

“Makoto…” He halted but his coach just nodded at him to continue, “Makoto said that they should learn what it means to know Nanase Haruka and Matsuoka Rin are entering a race.”

“You know Nanase, I really like your partner.” With that and a small wave, his coach bid him good bye.

Haru smiled, and with one more glance at the pool, walked to the locker rooms to get ready for gym. Necessary or not, he still didn’t like it. Those things were torture devices. Give him running any time of the day, not to mention swimming. These days he was constantly supervised by a coach there too. He did feel grateful though, that he had the opportunity and the best of conditions, so he’d grit his teeth and do all they required of him. If it was going to help him, he was going to do it. _That should definitely count as determination I think. Torture devices. Here I come._

~~

“I’m home!”

Haru called out, as he locked the door. There was no answer so he wondered if Makoto had stepped out with some of his friends, they were trying to make use of these days as much as they could, as some of them were about to leave Tokyo for the holidays and work would be starting soon as well for many.

He didn’t get further than the living room before he spotted Makoto sitting on the living room couch. He was staring at his phone, and Haru suddenly had the notion that something bad had happened. Quickly thinking back, he realized that this week was when the scholarship results would be announced and what if things had gone badly.

“Makoto?” He called out tentatively and Makoto finally blinked, as if woken, and looked at him.

Haru was afraid to ask so he just dropped his bags on the floor and walked over to him, his arms going around Makoto to draw him into a hug. Strong arms came around him in return, squeezing tightly, Makoto’s face buried in Haru’s shirt. They stayed that way for a few moments before Makoto drew back and looked at Haru.

A huge smile bloomed on his face before he giggled. “I got it.”

“What?”

“I got it. The scholarship.” His eyes were wet but he was smiling. “They sent the notices today. I was so scared and almost didn’t open it but … I got it.”

Haru laughed, feeling ecstatic and whooped. Makoto blinked at him, surprised at the uncharacteristic behaviour but Haru was feeling like he was going to burst from happiness and pride. “I am so glad!” He drew Makoto into another fierce hug then plopped into his lap and kissed him passionately. “I am so proud! Congratulations Makoto, I knew you could do it!” He couldn’t remember the last time he thought his smile would split his face but the relief and joy he was feeling for Makoto were all encompassing. Makoto kissed him back, his hands clutching at Haru’s shoulders.

They moaned into the kiss and Haru tugged at Makoto’s shirt, getting him to lift up his arms. He pulled it off, then quickly got rid of his own, their hands roaming each other’s bodies while they exchanged deep, long kisses. His hands finally ended up in Makoto’s hair, while he held his head, exploring his mouth, the need and passion rising like an unstoppable, sudden tide. Makoto was obviously feeling the same, his hands going to Haru’s waist before nudging him off. Haru blinked, unhappy that they got interrupted but Makoto just stood and tugged him into the bedroom without any talk.

That he definitely approved of and soon they were naked and tangled in each other on the bed, Makoto pressing him into it, his hands framing Haru’s face while they kissed. There was an incredible sense of urgency so he tried moving against Makoto’s body. That seemed to be all the signal Makoto needed because then he was stretching over to the nightstand, grabbing lube and a condom. Haru cried out when one lubed finger circled his entrance and breached him. They usually took more time with each other but this was exactly what he, no, what both of them needed right now. He started moving right away and soon a second joined it. Makoto took some time stretching him and he whined, wanting him to hurry up. A nip to his lower lip in warning followed but he didn’t have to wait long as Makoto seemed to be on the edge as well.

Soon, the blunt tip of Makoto’s cock was pushing at his entrance and he pushed back, sighing at the feeling. Makoto didn't halt this time as he usually did but just steadily pressed on and Haru blinked rapidly, trying to process. A slight burn and the feeling of being stretched and filled were overloading his senses and when Makoto moved, he moaned, his hips lifting to meet him. His brain had turned off and he was just a giant bundle of feeling and emotion. There was nothing slow about this union, Makoto’s movements fast and strong but Haru met him all the way. His hands got grabbed by Makoto’s and pushed above his head, held there as Makoto sped up even more and Haru let go completely, his soft cries of pleasure mixing with Makoto’s moans.

Haru was aware this couldn’t last long, it was too hot, too wild. He could feel himself spiralling, his stomach muscles tightening, sweat covering his body. He was teetering on the precipice, that feeling of completion right there, almost within his reach when Makoto shifted his hips and hit his prostate. He cried out, his whole body clenching, making Makoto’s cry mingle with his. His eyes closed, body straining under the incredible assault of pleasure. All of a sudden he could feel Makoto’s hot breath on his face and he opened his eyes to see his face flushed, eyes shining with desire. He bent his head, nipping Haru’s ear. “Come for me.” The whispered words combined with another thrust and he was spilling, his body completely suffused in pleasure. Makoto moved a few more times, before joining him and soon he collapsed onto Haru’s body, his hands letting go finally.

Haru could hear the loud intakes of breaths, both of them trying to get enough air. He couldn’t feel his body and yet at the same time, he felt every cell that made it. Allowing himself to just calm down and breathe, he relaxed, bringing his arms over to encircle Makoto’s back, keeping him close. He could still feel him, inside and his muscles tightened involuntarily, making Makoto cry out softly. He lifted his head finally and they kissed again, slowly, their passion spent.

Makoto blinked at him then and Haru giggled. He completely understood. That had come out of almost nowhere but it had been so explosive, so good. All those pent up emotions of uncertainty and hope, and then sudden happiness have come out and mixed, but it was a first for them and it had truly been an experience. He honestly didn’t mind, on the contrary. They kissed again and Makoto groaned when he finally slipped out of Haru, who couldn’t contain his wince.

“Did I hurt you?” Makoto suddenly rose on his elbows, hands cupping Haru’s face. “I was too rough, it was too fast…”

Haru cut him off by attaching their lips together in a demanding, passionate kiss. “It was exactly what we both needed. And wanted.” He shook his head. “I could have stopped you, remember?”

Makoto bit his lower lip, then a small smile emerged. “It was … wow.” Haru laughed in delight and nodded. That pretty much described it perfectly.

Kissing some more before they finally gathered enough strength to drag themselves to the shower, they smiled and washed each other, feeling happy and content. He was going to feel this one for a few days to come but then it’d be a great reminder of something wonderful.

They were getting dressed when his stomach finally started complaining, and soon Makoto’s joined in, so they hurried to the kitchen to make dinner.

“You don’t mind if I just throw some meat on, with rice and vegetables?”

“I don’t mind at all.” Makoto laughed. “I think I could eat a horse!”

Haru grinned, shaking his head and popped open the freezer, gathering the meat, then the rest. He set Makoto to work on the vegetables, while he put the water to boil and got the pan ready. It didn’t take them long to get everything cooking, and they leaned on the counter, waiting for it to be done.

“I couldn’t eat all that much for lunch today, I was a ball of nerves. I knew chances were high they’d get the notices out today.”

“We’ll feed you now!”

“Not to mention, I called my parents.” Makoto rubbed his neck and Haru had to reach out, offering his hand. Makoto caught it and squeezed it in appreciation, their fingers tangling together. “I said I’d be visiting and if I could maybe spend some time with the twins for a few days. Father said it was all right.” He shrugged and there was obviously more to that but Haru didn’t want to push Makoto into talking. “I didn’t say anything about the scholarship, I wanted to but he, well, he wasn’t too forthcoming on anything.” Shrugging again, he sighed and Haru realized he must have walked in right after that, the image of Makoto staring at his phone vivid in his memory. He closed the small distance between them and drew him into a hug. Makoto kissed his hair, sighing but then he stepped back and nodded. “It’s a good day, I’m going to be happy with what I achieved. No sadness.”

Haru knew it wasn’t quite so easy, especially when things cut so deeply but he also understood very well the need to try and see the good things and keep them in the forefront of one’s mind. After all, he did that when it came to his own father. They couldn’t control other people but they could make their own choices. And celebrating Makoto’s achievement was definitely something they should do. It was a happy time indeed. He smiled and lightly kissed him, then turned to their food.

“Almost done.”

They piled everything on their plates and even made sure to set the table more nicely than they would usually do for just a dinner. Haru grumbled how he wished he had planned ahead and made a cake but Makoto protested how it could have jinxed it. Not quite convinced of that reasoning, he frowned and vowed to make something for when Makoto returned. He had already bought a ticket for the following afternoon, so that he could grab as many days as possible with the twins, before having to come back to Tokyo.

They had already sat down when Haru remembered there was a way to celebrate and he hurriedly got up and returned to the kitchen to grab the wine they had stocked for just such an occasion. He poured a glass for both of them before bringing them over. Makoto laughed happily when he saw him and stole a kiss, and they attacked their food first. When he finally felt semi-human again at last, Haru sighed and leaned back in his chair. Makoto was slowing down too, so he grabbed a glass, waiting for Makoto to do the same.

“Congratulations Makoto! I am so proud! To you!”

Makoto went red in the face, his eyes suspiciously shiny but they clinked glasses in toast. Haru barely managed to take a sip before Makoto reached for him, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss of thanks. Haru’s hand stroked his cheek, their eyes locked and without a doubt that was love that he was seeing in Makoto’s eyes. He hoped that Makoto could see the same thing in his too.

They went back to their meal then and cleaned the plates before having seconds, Haru feeling pleasantly stuffed at the end. Loathe to move, they talked a bit sipping their wine, with their hands clasped together on the table but finally Makoto tugged him up and they washed the dishes and put everything away before moving back to the bedroom.

“Well, that’s a mess.”

Haru blinked and had to nod. Their bed truly was a mess but then, when he thought back how they went at each other, it really was no wonder. Makoto was slowly turning pink and Haru had to laugh, he truly loved how he could go from an assertive lover to a shy young man in a matter of moments.

“It’s a good thing we bought those new sheets then, right?”

Makoto looked up in surprise, then just nodded. Haru insisted they use the ones Makoto had chosen, as it was his day after all, and they quickly made up the bed, before getting ready for the night. They were both exhausted, and though it wasn’t terribly late, ready to call it a day.

Haru ended up on his back, Makoto lying on his chest, held in his embrace. They had turned off the light and he combed his fingers through Makoto’s hair, just enjoying the moment. He had been sure that they would slowly fall asleep that way, but then he was surprised by the soft voice telling him just how much this achievement meant to Makoto, how huge of a relief it was to know that his future was more secure. Haru had understood all of that of course, even without being told but hearing it made his heart hurt even more and yet at the same time knew that it was good to talk about all this, for both him and Makoto.

They talked softly, late into the night, expressing their feelings, exchanging promises and Haru was certain their lives were becoming inextricably bound with every word and every touch.

_It’s not like either one of us would have it any other way._

He kissed Makoto’s temple and smiled.

~~

“Ah, there you are Haru!”

He startled at the sudden female voice and blinked at the sight of Nagisa. She was smiling at him, lounging against the tree just outside of the club entrance. Thinking back, he was sure that they didn’t have anything planned. Scatter-brained he may be but not that much. He tilted his head at her while sketching a little wave and she laughed.

“Makoto called before he left yesterday.”

Things became much clearer for him then and he had to shake his head, smiling. It was so much like Makoto to worry about Haru, even though he was the one who was going into a more than unpleasant situation. But he supposed that was one of the reasons he loved him, his immense ability to think of other people and their feelings, and especially Haru, even in the face of his own hurt. He nodded to her in acknowledgement because she didn’t have to explain any further than that.

“Come on little brother, we’re having dinner together.” She hooked her arm under his and tugged him forward. “I’ve left Akira to do the preparations and come to get you, since you’ve never been to our place before.”

She walked forward, chatting away about their apartment, never really allowing him to even put in a word of protest about the situation. Not that he actually wanted to, he was deeply touched that they’d go so out of their way for him and make sure that he was in good spirits. Haru just smiled and let her lead the way to the train station and further on, to their place.

“Welcome you two!” Akira’s voice could be heard from somewhere, Haru guessed the kitchen and Nagisa laughed.

“We’re home!” They got out of their shoes and Haru left his sports bag on the nearby chair before he got tugged along by an impatient Nagisa. “Let’s say hello to Akira and I can show you around then.” She was bouncing on her toes and he tugged her into a quick, one armed hug, before letting go and indicating to lead the way. Her happy smile warmed him too.

“There you are.” Akira stirred something on the stove, before wiping down his hands and giving them both a hug. “I see she has managed to successfully drag you here.”

“He didn’t even put up a fight!” She cheerfully added and her brother shook his head, smiling.

“I see that he’s learned the first rule of dealing with hurricane Nagisa. Don’t bother trying to go against it.”

Haru nodded seriously because he had figured that one out the first time they’d met. Privately he also thought he had that lesson down far better than Hamasaki but then maybe they just loved bickering. He’d never had siblings and all he knew was from observing others though these two were also quite specific too. Makoto’s were simply much younger and while Rin and Gou were close, it was still different, thanks to his long absence and boarding school later on.

Turning his attention back to them he raised his eyebrows at Nagisa and she halted mid-sentence. “Right! I promised you a tour, let’s go.”

“Can I help?” He pointed at the dinner but Hamasaki just pushed him out, saying he was there to enjoy and relax, and not work. He tried pointing out that he honestly wouldn’t mind but a spatula got waved his way and he retreated, allowing Nagisa to show him around. They had a two-bedroom apartment and it was more than nice. She talked him through some of their decisions and he even asked a few questions. After all, Makoto and he still haven’t had the time to work on their own ideas, so a few more wouldn’t hurt. Pointing at their library in the living room, she grinned.

“It’s where the display case is going to go, as an extension.”

“Oh!” Haru nodded, then looked over again. “It does seem ideal. We haven’t had the chance to get to ours yet. The way it’s going, it’ll wait until we’re back from Europe.”

“As long as it’s ready before the Asian Games.”

“Eh?”

“Haru. You’re so going to bring more medals back from that thing. Better have it waiting!”

He looked to the side, smiling shyly. It was one thing to hear it from Makoto but different when it was someone else. He found it quite embarrassing yet he was grateful for the support. Nagisa seemed to get it anyway, and she quickly hugged him before throwing open the terrace door.

Haru almost cooed at the large space. A veritable garden was definitely not something he expected. Looking at her in wonder, he couldn’t contain his delight. “This is fabulous!”

“Isn’t it!” She clapped her hands in glee. “Nobody ever expects it, even if we are on the last floor.” She shrugged and laughed. “I told you grandfather was more successful than our father but I probably should have said he was simply successful. It’s why we have something like this at our age.”

“Well, our home is my mother’s actually so I understand.” Her mouth pursed, she nodded quickly. “But this is just perfect.” He looked around again at all the greenery that was obviously carefully tended and thought he’d love spending time there. “Do you dine here?”

“Especially in the summer, most of our late dinners are outside. You are of course invited! Mind you, I do expect cake as payment.” She winked at him and tugged him back inside. He reluctantly followed and politely approved of her bedroom though he felt somewhat awkward being there. Hamasaki’s room was messy and she sighed, feigning being put upon, but he patted her hand and told her not to worry.

“Dinner’s ready!”

Haru longingly glanced towards the terrace and Nagisa laughed. “Akira, can we eat outside today? I think we’ll lose our baby brother if we don’t.” He blushed at being referred to that way but at the same time, he was ridiculously pleased. He didn’t have the ease with them he did with Makoto, or Rin, but their kindness from the very start meant they wormed their way into his heart.

“Of course we can. Come, let’s get it set up.”

He refused to be left aside for this and he helped them out before going to wash his hands. They were seated and he sighed, feeling completely relaxed.

“I hope it’s good.” Hamasaki rubbed his hands together, after having served them all and Haru thanked him for the meal before digging in. It was wonderful and he said so, praising him for a great dinner which made him pink up. Nagisa giggled and poured them all drinks.

Haru enjoyed their razzing of each other and even joined in, ending up on the receiving end from them both then. He had to wonder if this was truly how it was to have siblings and then his thoughts turned to Makoto. Hoping that his time was at least somewhat pleasurable there, he vowed to call again as soon as he got home, before turning his attention back to dinner and his friends.

~~

Children’s laughter echoed on the beach and Makoto smiled.

He was sitting on the towel, watching over Ren and Ran who were running around, engrossed in a game of tag. He had played with them until a few minutes ago when he called a halt to it, saying it was time for lunch and he had sat down to get the sandwiches he’d made early that morning and the cool drinks out of the basket.

His encounter with his parents had been grim. They had not changed their minds, not that he expected them to but there had been just a sliver of hope at that moment when he got to be face to face with them again. They had received the news of his scholarship with enthusiasm due to being able to save the funds for the twins but that had been that. When he had returned to Haru’s house that first night, his heart had been heavy, and the only good thing had been that he got the approval to pick up the twins from school the next day.

As if he had known, Haru had called him then and they’d talked long into the night again, Makoto letting the tears flow freely. He had wished Haru would hold him but had kept that desire to himself. It would only have hurt him too.

In the end, it had been the twins who had truly made his heart light. They had been thrilled to see him, demanding hugs and kisses, and that he spend time with them. He had, taking them out for ice cream and a long walk. They had made him promise to see them every day when they had learned he was in Iwatobi only for a few and he guessed that this made it considerably easier for their parents to acquiesce too.

Since they had the club activities early on Saturday, he took the opportunity to meet with Nagisa and Rei, and later Gou, and they’d caught up, happy to spend some time together after so long. His heart though yearned to be with the little ones and he had felt guilt for the relief he experienced when he had finally waved good bye to the trio and hurried off to pick up the twins.

His mind turning back to the present, he sighed, thinking how this was his last day in Iwatobi, probably for a while too. Makoto hoped that maybe he could squeeze in another visit before University started again, the wonderful time he had spent with them was like a balm to his soul. The shrieks reached his ears and he turned to see them splashing each other. He laughed, shaking his head. They had behaved almost like younger versions of themselves but he could understand the need for attention, they had been apart for so long.

“Ran! Ren! Lunch!” Waving them over, he called out and soon they were plopping down next to him, demanding to be fed, and jostling who’d get the first sandwich. It was like old times and everything was suddenly better. He was still their older brother and he would always be one. He just had to make sure they knew he loved them and would always be there for them. When they got a little bit older, there would be explanations and talks but right now, they could just enjoy this uncomplicated time.

He bit down on his own sandwich before shaking his head at Ren who had gotten the ketchup all over his face. Ran was laughing and calling him a baby, but Makoto just stroked her head to quieten her down, and then got a paper towel to clean him off.

_They are always going to be my little brother and sister. Nothing will change that._

“Makoto! I got some on me too!” Ran was pulling his sleeve then and he smiled at her, nodding seriously before reaching for another paper towel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go Makoto XD  
> Next time Haru makes sure they celebrate properly.


	29. Chapter 29

#  Chapter 29

 

Makoto stretched in bed, yawning.

Haru had already gone to practice, leaving him with a tender kiss that morning and he had the entire bed to himself. Flopping over so that he could stretch out entirely, he smiled into the pillow. He was feeling pretty good, all things considering. He was rested and only in the last few days did he realize just how much he needed this time off. Yawning once more, he figured that it’d probably also get pretty boring soon so he knew the internship starting, wherever it turned out to be, would be welcome at that point.

A bath beckoned and his stomach was starting to make itself known so he sighed and dragged himself out of bed. He opted for a shower in the end, after staring at it for a few minutes trying to decide and then inhaled the breakfast Haru had left for him. He truly had the best boyfriend.

His phone beeped and he poked it to see who was contacting him. It turned out to be an alert but there was no way he could have forgotten that. Haru’s mother was coming to Tokyo that afternoon and though she’d be busy the next few days, her weekend would be open and they could spend some time together. He had asked Haru if he wanted to go out with her on his own and then had had to laugh at the look he had gotten as an answer. It did feel good to know that she liked him so much, he couldn’t deny that, especially considering he was in a relationship with her son.

Finishing off his juice he sighed happily then washed the dishes before padding over to the bathroom. Laundry had to be done and though he was still slower than Haru at all the sorting, he had gotten much better. Just as he got the machine running, his phone beeped again and this time it was Matsushita. He dialled him back, wondering what was up.

“Tachibana, thanks for calling! I hope I'm not interrupting.”

He laughed at the greeting. “Matsushita. No, I’m not actually busy, just put the laundry to wash.”

“Everyone else is free too, so we wanted to go out. Koizumi is off on vacation from tomorrow and Himura is starting his job the day after. We probably won’t be able to meet like this for a while.”

“Oh!” He thought it over and couldn’t find a reason not to. He didn’t have anything planned so it sounded good. Agreeing upon the time and place, he hung up, then got ready.

Just as he was leaving, he got an email alert but after a second decided that it could wait. He had friends to meet.

~~

Makoto hurried along, making sure not to shake the bags in his hands too much.

They had had such great fun that they had simply forgotten about the time. When he finally remembered to check he’d gotten a shock. They’d all scrambled as fast as they could before exchanging hugs and well wishes, and then scattering in different directions. Haru’s practices were quite intense these days so Makoto had planned at the start to get them something to eat on his way back. He hadn’t wanted to abandon that plan because he didn’t want to cook as there was no time for that considering how slow he was. Making Haru do it was just out of the question too so he opted for takeout anyway and risked being late. He had tapped his foot while waiting for his order to come up and kept glancing at the clock but finally it was all packed and he’d hurried home.

Makoto was almost at the entrance of their building when he spotted a familiar figure coming his way. Smiling, he lifted the bags in greeting and he saw Haru stop, tiredly leaning on the door, waiting for him.

“I’m so glad I managed to get here in time!”

Haru smiled, then turned to let them in. “Out with friends?”

Makoto nodded, squeezing by and soon they were in the elevator, riding up. “Matsushita called, this was the last chance for all of us to get together before we go our own way for the summer.”

“It was fun I hope?”

“It was great! We actually forgot ourselves which is why I am so late. I think I even have several emails waiting by now but I just couldn't be bothered!” He laughed. “I got us food though.”

Haru leaned in and kissed him loudly. They were alone after all so Makoto didn’t mind. “You’re the best boyfriend. I am so hungry!”

“Gruelling practice today?”

“You have no idea!” Unlocking the door, they trooped in and then quickly got rid of their shoes and jackets before heading for the kitchen. It didn’t take them long to get everything served and they were digging in with gusto. Haru almost inhaled his soup, making Makoto laugh because he was usually more sedate when eating. “I can’t help it!”

He blushed, shrugging and Makoto had to lean in and peck his cheek. “It’s just cute, you aren’t usually like this.”

“It’s the practice these days!” Haru waved his hand around as if to emphasise his point. “We’re going to be easing off from next week due to the competitions but that means that these days need to be used well. I’m so tired! Also starving. I honestly thought I was hallucinating there when I spotted you coming towards me. I swear I could have smelled the food!”

Makoto laughed at what was pretty much babbling for Haru, he truly must be tired, and just pushed more food his way. They didn’t speak for a while then and Makoto was finished while Haru was still steadily eating. Snickering softly, he relaxed back, waiting for Haru to come up for air. Finally he put his empty plate down and sighed happily.

“Done?”

“Yes. I feel so much better though.” He poured some more water for himself and offered to top up Makoto’s glass too.

“Yes please, thanks.”

“Mother’s coming today isn’t she?” Haru suddenly turned to him in his chair, obviously having just thought of it and Makoto nodded quickly.

“Yes but she won’t be free until the weekend.”

“All the better, to be honest I am not sure I’d have the strength to meet with her before that. Are we going out?”

“I have no idea?” Makoto thought back and figured they probably could but they had no specific plans. “We’ve spoken of several things but we haven’t agreed on anything.”

“I think going out is a good option but I guess we’ll talk to her. I’ll give her a call to make sure she’s arrived safely.”

Makoto smiled, knowing how Haru’s mother would love that. He could spot how Haru would talk more about her lately and it was obvious that he cherished their new relationship. It wasn’t just that his father had grown distant, it was how she was their unwavering support in everything.

“I feel like taking a bath but I don’t know.”

“Go. I’ll come in later to check on you, no good falling asleep there. I’ll do the dishes in the meantime.”

Haru laid a kiss on his lips then and happily, albeit slowly, got himself to the bathroom leaving Makoto to get up and carry everything to the kitchen. He hummed his way through it all, separating the things that had to go to the trash, and then wiped down the table. Peeking at their bluebell, he watered it a bit too and flung the window open to let the air in. _Soon it’ll start being too hot for that, so might as well use it. I am glad there’s an AC here, it’s such a relief._ Checking once more to see if anything else needed doing, he walked slowly to the bathroom, where Haru was clearly dozing, his head resting on a towel.

Bending down, Makoto kissed him, unable to resist that inviting mouth. His eyes roamed Haru’s body and his own stirred. He looked so amazing, so hot.

“Mmm.”

“More?”

“Do you have to ask?” Haru’s eyes opened a fraction and Makoto laughed before kissing him again, this time more deeply, a long exploration of his mouth. Just as he was about to go in for another, his phone beeped again and Haru laughed.

“Email?”

Makoto took the phone out of his pocket and stared. “Huh. Actually yes. And three of those are from potential internships.”

That made Haru sit up in the tub and push his wet hair away from his eyes. He waved his hands. “Ryuujin?”

“Yes.” Clearing his throat, he looked at it again. “Ryuujin, the one I would like if that doesn’t work out and the smallest one I applied to.” His palms were suddenly sweaty and he turned his gaze on Haru. “Start with that one?”

“The smallest? No.” Haru shook his head and reached out to Makoto, who took his hand. “Start with the biggest. You aim at the top and you’re good enough.”

The words echoed in Makoto’s head and he knew that he should feel that way too. He hoped that one day he would. Feeling emboldened by the steady presence and support, he nodded once and opened the email. His eyes scanned the text, then once again. He wondered if he should read it for the third time perhaps.

“Well?” Haru tugged at him, obviously impatient and Makoto blinked.

“I got in.”

“Yes!” Haru reached for him and Makoto dropped his phone, grabbing Haru’s face and kissing him. Haru’s hands scrambled on his back and he leaned further in, deepening the kiss before taking a deep breath and smiling widely. “I can’t believe it.”

“I can. I knew you’d do it!” Haru grinned then tugged him forward for another kiss and before he realized what was happening, he was toppling over into the bath.

“Haru!” He was sure the entire neighbourhood heard his squeal and there was a huge splash when he landed practically into Haru’s lap. They looked at each other in silence before they broke into laughter, Haru spreading his legs to accommodate him.

“Good! Now get rid of those clothes and we can have a bath together.”

Makoto blinked to get the water drops out of his eyes and then shrugged. They ended up giggling like crazy because getting rid of clothes in the tub turned out to be somewhat of a challenge but in the end he managed it somehow before finally settling onto Haru’s chest, the reverse of their favoured position. He smiled and then kissed Haru again, the feeling more intense now that they were skin to skin.

“I didn’t check the rest of my emails.” He grumbled for show but Haru laughed and drew him closer.

“Does it matter?”

“Well, I will have to send in my reply, in case they accepted me, so that they know not to expect me.”

“Ah.” He scrunched his nose and slowly caressed Makoto’s back. “You can do that later, we have better things to do now.”

“Like have our bath.”

Haru nodded seriously at him and Makoto couldn’t help himself so he kissed him again.

“I can’t believe it. I got both the scholarship and this.” He stared at Haru, knowing he was probably wide eyed but he truly did feel like this wasn’t happening and that he was just having one of his vivid dreams. Haru cupped his face with his hands and looked straight into his eyes, making Makoto blink.

“You’ve got to start believing in yourself Makoto. You’re good. You’re really good. This proves it. And you’ll keep on doing great.”

Makoto blushed, his eyes watering but he nodded. “I think, I think I may believe it a little bit too.”

“You should fully believe it.” Haru brought their lips together and Makoto hummed in pleasure. “But it’s a start.” They laughed and Makoto rested his head in the crook of Haru’s neck, feeling perfectly wonderful. It was so good to know that all his hard work had paid off, especially considering how much it mattered to him right now. Knowing that sometimes you could do your best and it still may not be enough, and that this wasn’t that time, made him feel great. He was successful in both his private and professional life, and he had to bite his lip to hold in the grin that threatened to burst out. Deciding that there was no actual reason why he should though, he let it come out. He couldn’t wait for his internship to start.

“We should celebrate.”

_But yes, we should celebrate first._

He smiled and simply kissed him. Haru hummed before pushing at his shoulders. He turned around, unsure what Haru planned but then there was a loofa being gently pressed against his skin and he sighed, relaxing, allowing Haru to wash him. His questing fingers roamed Makoto’s skin too and he teetered on the edge of arousal, not quite there but still hyper aware of Haru’s movements. When he was done, he took the loofa and returned the favour, also slow and careful, and they finally ended up kissing slowly under the shower, as the water spray rinsed them off.

Makoto stretched once he’d dried himself off and joined Haru in the bedroom. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, just a towel around his hips and poking at his phone. Raising an eyebrow in question, he sat down next to him.

“I better call my mother now. I think we’re about to be occupied.”

Giggling, Makoto nodded and then waited while Haru talked to her, his finger rubbing small circles on the bit of exposed skin of Haru’s thigh. He understood that she had indeed arrived safely but snapped his head up when Haru began bragging about Makoto. His quiet protests were ignored and Haru just continued on with the conversation, ending up agreeing with whatever his mother was saying. Finally he sighed and just added for Haru to say hello to her, which he did. Their conversation ended soon after and Haru hung up, putting the phone away.

“She is thrilled for you.” Haru kissed him quickly then nodded. “I said yes to a dinner outside to celebrate but I was thinking…” Makoto waited as Haru suddenly turned a bit shy and tangled their fingers together, his gaze avoiding Makoto’s. “Let me take you out to celebrate. I want to.”

“There’s no need Haru!”

“I want to.” His soft but firm words made Makoto pause. Haru was peeking at him now from below his fringe and he decided that he would actually like to go out with him. Nodding, he smiled and received and answering big smile from Haru. “Good. Friday?”

“Friday sounds great.” And it did. He found that he couldn’t wait really. Thinking it was time for a little private celebration he pulled Haru towards him, initiating a kiss and then slowly explored his mouth. His hands roamed down Haru’s back, then pushed him gently back to lie on the bed, before settling over him. Haru sucked on his lower lip, making Makoto moan in pleasure and he quickly divested them of their towels. Knowing Haru must be tired, plus they did have Friday waiting for them, he decided to keep things simple.

He explored Haru’s body with his lips and hands, enjoying Haru’s on his skin in return before he finally settled between Haru’s legs that quickly went around his middle, and they just moved together, in a slow build-up of pleasure. Makoto couldn’t stop kissing him, couldn’t stop his fingers from tangling into Haru’s hair and he moaned helplessly at all the feelings coursing through his body.

He wasn’t quite sure how long they’ve remained locked together like that but feeling his desire finally building up towards the climax, and Haru’s now continuous little moans, he managed to grasp them both with his hand and provide them with some friction. Haru threw his head back, his eyes closing and hips moving faster and Makoto latched onto his neck, sucking and biting. This was enough to trigger his orgasm and the look of completely abandonment and ecstasy pushed him over too.

When their breathing returned to normal, Makoto smiled down at Haru’s flushed face and kissed him once more before moving off and going to the bathroom, to get a cloth to clean them up. Padding back, he spotted Haru who was yawning and rubbing his eyes and he had to laugh at the sight. He suddenly looked so young and it was such a strange comparison to what they had just been doing.

Once done, they settled down, Haru’s head pillowed on his chest, his arm around him, and soon he could hear his breathing even out. He wasn’t surprised he’d fallen asleep so quickly, he was tired but Makoto was weirdly awake. Careful not to dislodge him, he grabbed his own phone and typed up a quick text to Nagisa, telling her about the internship and then decided that a group text to his University friends would be good too.

Cringing when his phone beeped, he quickly turned off sound, then read through his texts. Everyone was excited for him and congratulating him, Nagisa seeking out a promise to come to dinner at their apartment as soon as possible. Apparently he should ask Haru about the place where they eat and if that hadn’t convinced him, she’d just come and drag him there anyway. He laughed silently at her irrepressible character and quickly typed that yes, he’d love to come even without knowing what she was on about but he’d have to talk to Haru first about the time. She quickly answered that they’d arrange it all tomorrow and wished him a good night.

He put the phone back and closed his eyes, smiling, his hand playing with Haru’s hair.

_It’s a brilliant night._

Thinking how he really should start believing in himself he couldn’t help thinking that it was just the start of many good things.

~~

Makoto observed himself in the mirror one more time and nodded, quite satisfied with his look.

Haru had announced that they needed to dress up as they were going to a nice restaurant for their celebration but as usual, refused to say much more than that. This was enough for Makoto though he did check with Haru to see what he was going to wear. Clashing would not be particularly nice but then it had turned out there had been no danger of it. Makoto’s all black with a white shirt was going to go amazing with Haru’s deep purple jacket and black ensemble. He found that he was quickly developing somewhat of a fondness of looking good as a couple.

He checked his hair once again in the mirror before going and knocking on the bathroom door.

“I’m all ready, will be in the living room.”

“Be with you soon.” Haru’s muffled voice could be heard and he wondered what he was doing as he sounded a bit strained. Shrugging, he acknowledged it and slowly wandered off. Just as he was about to sit down, he remembered wrinkles and changed his mind, opting to stand next to the window. He didn’t slave away over that iron for nothing earlier that day after all. Ironing was far from his favourite things to do but he couldn’t go out as if someone had been chewing on him, now could he.

“You’re right about me needing a haircut.” Haru whispered, and Makoto startled. He had gotten lost in enjoying the spring air that he hadn’t heard him approach.

He smiled and tugged on one of Haru’s bangs, nodding. “You do.” Bending down to deposit a kiss on his lips, he couldn’t help but murmur his appreciation too. “It still looks kind of hot.”

Haru smiled shyly at this, looking at him through his hair and rose up on tip toes for a longer press of lips. They both hummed before separating. Glancing at his phone, Haru sighed, seemingly unhappy he couldn’t indulge in that for a bit longer. “I’ve called us a taxi, come on or we’ll be late.”

Makoto hadn’t expected that, he had thought they’d just take the train as usual but it seemed that Haru planned on going all out for this celebration. It made him happy though so he just nodded, almost laughing at Haru’s somewhat suspicious side-glance at that. He probably expected Makoto to complain a bit but by now, Makoto had learned Haru just loved doing these things and protesting did no good. Not that he would not, if something was way too extravagant.

Haru let them out, then locked behind them, checking once more that he had his wallet and keys and by the time they got outside, the taxi was pulling up to the curb. Giving the driver directions, Haru relaxed back and looked at Makoto, smiling mysteriously.

“You’re still not going to tell me where we’re going?”

Haru shrugged at that, his eyes turning to watch the surrounding traffic. “It’s a restaurant.”

Makoto laughed, shaking his head. That hardly told him much of anything but then, a part of him thrilled at the mystery of it too. He thought about offering to bribe him but then they were in a small, enclosed space and considering Haru’s often inopportune bluntness, it was probably best not to give the driver reason to crash the car.

By the time they’d arrived, he was really glad that they’ve both taken the car, and that Haru had told him to dress nicely because he felt like he wasn’t standing out in any way. This definitely wasn’t your every day, run of the mill, restaurant but a more upscale place, much like the one they’d gone to with their friends after the Nationals. Makoto was quite glad that Haru hadn’t gone for something like a Kaiseki restaurant because there was no way he wouldn’t object to that, but luckily Haru knew him and his levels of comfort.

“We have reservations, Nanase, party of two.”

The man checked and then smiled, welcoming them before leading the way to their table. They were seated at opposite ends, their table next to a window and Makoto squirmed, before he remembered they weren’t actually all that high and that the view was quite beautiful. He smiled at Haru, hoping to convey his appreciation, then grabbed a menu.

“I chose a more traditional restaurant on purpose.”

Makoto nodded at him, able to see for himself they had many familiar dishes, though some he had only heard about. He peeked at Haru and saw he almost had a dreamy expression on his face. Makoto didn’t even have to think why, there were so many fish dishes on offer that he was probably experiencing ecstasy. He just hoped he’d be able to choose in the end and he almost giggled out loud.

_I probably shouldn’t laugh because seriously, how do you choose? There’re so many amazing things here._

He thought he’d definitely like fish for the main course too but it all seemed so inviting.

_Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed at Haru, even if it is only in my own head. That’ll teach me._

They ended up discussing for a while what the other would have because they figured that way they could at least sample a bit from each other’s choices and then finally ordered. Haru ordered some wine for them too, making Makoto smile because it should go quite well with fish.

“Oh! Gou called.”

“I hope everything’s been sorted out?”

Makoto smiled happily because he could indeed reassure him. “Yes, she didn’t say much but she thanked me and said Rin had spoken to her. But that’s not the only reason she called.”

“Eh?” It was apparent Haru couldn’t think of anything else and Makoto laughed softly.

“She is coming to Tokyo to visit her future University.”

“Ah, of course.” Haru nodded. “She’s set on it then?”

“Yes, seems that way. We’re going to have one more familiar face around these parts soon.” Makoto thought about all the people they were friends with. “I think she’ll fit in just fine. I wonder how Rin is going to handle it though.”

“Eh?”

Makoto laughed quietly at that because it wasn’t just Haru’s usual cluelessness. He didn’t have any siblings and the whole older brother with a younger sister thing completely passed him by. “His little sister is coming to a big city, he’s naturally protective but I think it’ll probably be all right in the end. She’s also got a strong personality.”

“Oh.” Haru tilted his head, then scrunched up his nose. “Would you be like that with Ran?”

Surprised by the question, especially as Haru usually didn’t bring them up, Makoto sat back and hummed. “It’s a bit different as there’s more of an age difference but probably yes.” He laughed and shrugged. It was just one of those things. Haru nodded at that, obviously lost in thought and Makoto wondered what was going through his head. One never could be too sure which way his mind would go, it was Haru after all. He didn’t say anything more though but just sipped a bit of his water.

“You mentioned something about going to dinner to Nagisa’s?”

“Right.” Makoto blinked at the shift but quickly thought of what they had talked about. “We’re basically waiting for you and Hamasaki to agree to a day, we’re much more relaxed with time but I was wondering if after the Invitational would be the best.”

“After?”

“We can celebrate everything together.” He had talked it over with Nagisa and they had both agreed that waiting for the meet would be a good idea. If either of the guys managed to do well, they could have a joint celebration and they both hoped that they’d have reasons for it for all of them.

“There’s no guarantee I’ll win.” Haru frowned, clearly a bit troubled and Makoto had to reach out and give his hand a quick pat.

“Now who doesn’t believe in himself?” He smiled widely at Haru’s look because turning the tables did feel somewhat good.

“I’m being realistic.”

“If you don’t think you can win, you won’t win.” Makoto looked at him pointedly. “It’s not the same as thinking you’ve got it made and not training. You are working really hard.”

Haru laughed softly and shook his head. “I know. I’ll do my best.”

“Good.” He nodded, knowing Haru would indeed do his best and that was all anyone could ask of him. Makoto was sure Haru wouldn’t be satisfied with it though and would work even harder but he this way there wouldn't be any regrets and that was what mattered.

“I have you to show me that working hard does make your dreams come true.”

“Eh?” Makoto blinked, the statement surprising him.

“You’ve worked so hard, did your best and here we are today. You made it happen.”

Haru’s words made him blush to the roots of his hair and he didn’t know what to say. He was proud but also a little bit embarrassed and so happy that Haru thought like that about him. Haru’s hand caught his, their fingers tangling, before smiling.

“I know there’s a long way to go yet, for both of us, but we’re not doing badly, ah?”

“We’re doing pretty well I think.” Makoto smiled widely because they were. He was talking about more than just their professional lives too but he knew Haru understood this. Haru’s smile grew in answer and Makoto had his confirmation.

Their first course arrived at that moment, as well as their wine, and as soon as the waiter left, Haru raised his glass in toast. Makoto blushed again but he raised his as well, waiting.

“To you and your great success. The first of many!”

Haru’s smile was like the sun and Makoto could only smile back, feeling overcome with happiness and love. They clinked glasses and drank.

“Thank you Haru.” His words may have been soft but they were heartfelt, and Makoto reached out first this time, squeezing Haru’s hand. He let go quickly though, a bit embarrassed but still happy, and cleared his throat.

“Shall we try then? It smells wonderful!”

They did turn to their food then, bickering good naturedly who chose better and in the end, sampled what the other was eating, each defending their choices to the bitter end, that of empty plates. Makoto ended up laughing when Haru looked at his mournfully, reminding him there’d be more tomorrow.

“It was so good though.” Haru looked up at him seriously. “There’s no guarantee it’ll be so tomorrow.”

“Do you really think your mother will pick out anything less than excellent?” He asked, unable to curtail his own amusement.

“You never know.”

Having to contain his own delighted laughter was no easy task but Makoto managed somehow. It was far more difficult to manage restraint from getting up and kissing Haru silly, and he promised himself to do it once they were home. No matter how much he loved going out with him like this, if there was one true drawback, that was it.

“How about dessert?”

_Of course there are perks to this going out business as well._

If Haru loved his fish, Makoto loved his chocolate, so he took great care in perusing the menu. He was sure Haru was looking on indulgently but just recently, the positions were reversed so it was all right. Finally, he managed to settle on one, absolutely refusing to admit out loud it had taken a _dore ni…_ in his head between three possibilities to get there. Haru had opted for a small bowl of green tea ice cream to keep him company.

“I need to intensify my swimming.” He mumbled around his fork and Haru snickered.

“You’re more than fine Makoto.”

“Am I?” He smiled.

“Hmm.” Haru licked his lips and Makoto suddenly thought it probably hadn’t been the best idea to tease him that way. He shifted in his seat, the image doing things to his body, and cleared his throat. This drew out a seductive smile on Haru’s face and he sucked a spoon of his treat into his mouth, slowly withdrawing it out with a pop. Makoto swore he could see his tongue dart out for a second and he almost groaned.

“Haru. Mercy.”

He thought he was in trouble as Haru seemed to be considering that plea but in the end he smirked and grabbed his glass. “For now. We are celebrating after all.”

Shaking his head, Makoto decided that if Haru wanted it that way he could certainly do it. Once they were back home, that is. He glanced at the window and frowned. “It’s going to rain.”

“It’s just water.” Haru shrugged casually in reply. “Though it might do us a favour and wait until we reach our next destination.”

“It would be nice.” The words Haru had uttered properly reached him then and he blinked. “Wait, we’re not going home?”

“Of course not.” His tone was almost insulted, as if a dinner together in such a place, just the two of them, wasn’t nearly enough. “We have another place to visit. You’ll see.”

“There’s no need for anything else!”

“Yes there is.” Haru nodded. “The scholarship alone is a huge thing and you know it.” Pointing to Makoto’s dessert he smiled. “Just enjoy and relax.”

Shaking his head, Makoto sighed. “You’re impossible.” Another delighted smile graced Haru’s face as a result of that sentence and he was done for. There were moments when his feelings for Haru would hit him straight on and this was one of them. There was just something about the emotion that the usually reserved man showed that unmanned him. He ate his dessert but still continued to poke and prod about where they were going. It got him nothing of course but it was fun to watch Haru almost choke at one of his guesses. He didn’t see what was so strange about going dancing, even if it was just the two of them.

In the end they finished their desserts and spent some time quietly talking about that summer and all the things they wanted to do, including while Haru was away. Makoto kept insisting that Haru was going to tell him all about Europe, or the bits he ended up seeing and Haru kept saying he really wasn’t the best with words. Makoto didn’t care. He also demanded postcards from all the places but that was easily agreed to. Haru checked his phone and then indicated they had to leave or they’d be late. Makoto wondered what it was then, if they had a set time but just followed along.

“Train?”

“No.” Haru looked up, checking the sky again but it seemed to be holding though it had turned pretty dark grey and it was difficult to see as night had fallen. “I thought we’d take a small walk over there, it’s why I wanted us to leave with plenty of time.” Makoto smiled, as he certainly didn’t mind a stroll. On the contrary, he was pretty stuffed and a bit of exercise seemed perfect to him.  Haru took his hand and tugged, directing them to wherever it was that he was taking them to.

Makoto hummed quietly under his breath. The air had that distinct spring scent before a storm and he inhaled deeply, enjoying himself. He could see Haru looking at him from the corner of his eye and he smiled, squeezing his hand to let him know he was having a lovely time. They weren’t rushing and were just enjoying being with each other. Makoto wondered if he was weird but he thought he enjoyed this part as much as their dinner together.

Haru checked his phone again and pointed to their left. “Almost there.” It didn’t take long and Makoto could soon see a small crowd in front of what appeared to be a club. At first he thought that he had actually guessed right and Haru was taking him dancing but then he saw that though he had been close, it wasn’t that.

“It’s a jazz club.”

“Really?” He was excited and bounced on his toes. This was definitely not what he expected but it was incredible. How Haru even got the idea to take him to something like this, he had no idea but he was thrilled. “How…?”

Laughing under his breath, Haru waved his phone at him. “Nagisa of course.” Makoto laughed too then because of course, who else. “I wanted to take you to another concert because you liked the other one so much,” Haru’s voice turned shy, as if being so thoughtful was something to be embarrassed about and Makoto just squeezed his hand, to show him he truly appreciated it, “and she said that live music could be something like this too. I liked the idea so here we are.”

It was one of the better jazz clubs in Tokyo and Makoto even knew of it by name. Some of his University friends had talked about it a few times, how it was amazing but sometimes difficult to get into. “Can we get in?”

“I made reservations.” Haru sounded proud almost, smiling at him.

“I can’t wait.” And that was the truth, too. He tugged Haru forward, trying to get him to hurry up which made him laugh but he did speed up dutifully. They got in without any trouble much like Haru had said and Makoto stopped in his tracks as soon as they entered the space proper.

His gaze got drawn right first, towards the long, sleek, wooden bar with glasses hanging above it, and artful shelves adorning the wall but then he saw the stage at the head of the room, with the piano, drums and the other instruments and he had to draw Haru closer to him.

“Thank you so much!” Whispering just so Haru alone could hear him, he allowed his lips to gently brush his ear, and then straightened up again. They were seated in the inner area then, in one of the booths and he lounged against the supple leather, looking around some more eagerly. The place was filling up steadily, some people eating which surprised him and he turned to Haru to comment, only to see him holding the menu. “But we’ve eaten.” He still leaned in to see what it was that he was so intently perusing and it turned out to be the wine card. “Oh!” Haru just nodded before getting a decanter for them, along with some water.

They spoke softly, taking small sips of their wine but then the band came out and the music started and Makoto got completely engrossed. He’d heard only a few jazz songs before but this was the first time he had the opportunity to completely immerse himself in the music. It didn’t take long for him to get the feeling as if the musicians were talking to each other, drawing him in. He hadn’t known he could like instrumental music so much, he was so used to voices. But the melodies were rich, full and interesting, almost inviting his imagination to join in on the play and he let himself drift along, accepting the call.

He didn’t expect a voice to join in but when it did, it truly was just another instrument in the line-up. Some tunes made him relax, some made him joyful and some felt like they spoke to his very soul, enveloping him in their embrace. At one point, Haru’s hand grasped his under the table, and he held on till the end of the set, the connection both physical and emotional.

When the break came up, it was like he was coming up for air almost. Makoto looked at Haru who finally let go only to grab his drink. He followed, feeling like he needed one too.

“I didn’t think I’d love it so much.” Haru had turned to look at him, his face serious and Makoto enthusiastically nodded. He had expected to have a great time but there was just something special about this experience.

“It’s incredible, I honestly don’t have the words.”

This made Haru laugh lightly, his head tilted down, shoulders shaking. “If you don’t, I certainly don’t!” He looked up at Makoto then and shrugged. “But I think feeling it is enough.”

Makoto could only agree and they settled down to listen again when the music resumed. When the last sound of the sad trumpet ended some unknown time later, his eyes were wet but he did not care. There wasn’t a person in the house who had not felt that and they all broke into almost raucous applause.

They didn’t hurry but finished their wine, and then slowly left the club.

“We are coming here again!” He smiled at Haru, whose head was turned towards him, a soft look in his eyes. “Yes, yes we are.”

They stepped out and had something to see. The skies had apparently finally decided to open and it was pouring outside. Makoto shrugged at a bemused looking Haru.

“At least we’re going home, so it doesn’t matter now!”

“I’m calling us another taxi.” Makoto’s protests fell on deaf ears as Haru poked the taxi app on his phone. Considering how even just running from the club door to it got them wet, he decided that Haru probably had a point after all. Haru blew the wet strands of his hair from his eyes and Makoto couldn’t help but tweak it. It was simply too inviting.

When their building came into sight, Makoto smiled and soon they were back home, taking off their shoes. He didn’t get to do more than that when Haru tugged on his hand.

“Haru?”

No answer reached him though and they were soon at the balcony door. Makoto had actually emptied it out during one of the previous days. He had had the time then and they did want to at least try and use it a bit this summer. There was still nothing there yet though, so he was truly confused by it all. Haru opened the door and pushed him out then, following.

The rain pelted him and he just stood there, blinking at Haru, who halted in front of him.

“I’ve wanted to do this when we got out of the club but I couldn’t. Nobody will see here.”

His hands cupped Makoto’s head then, drawing him down and soon Makoto found himself soundly kissed. The rain drops were almost cold, falling on his face, in contrast to the heat of Haru’s tongue, invading his mouth. He took over the kiss quickly, unable to contain himself. Haru moaned, a long, drawn out sound and Makoto found himself responding. Drawing Haru even closer, his hands flying into his hair to hold him steady, he explored his mouth, sucking on his tongue and lips. He simply couldn’t get enough, all of it encouraged by the sounds Haru was emitting. One of Haru’s hands had found its way under his shirt and was grasping at his back and setting his nerves on fire.

Makoto quite liked kissing in the rain.

He suddenly moved forward, pressing Haru into the door, bringing their bodies together. The rain kept pelting down on them, and his own body was almost a shield against it for Haru. His body was now moving in steady motions but Haru was far from quiescent and followed him. Their clothes were soaked through by then, clinging to them and Makoto was being slowly driven wild from the dual stimulation of cold against his skin and the heat from the inside. He wanted Haru and he wanted him right then.

Another thing Makoto really liked but that couldn’t be done there, so he simply hoisted Haru up and brought them back into the bedroom. Dropping him on the bed, wet clothes be damned, he quickly stripped, Haru following him.

“One day we are going to finish this outside, in the rain.”

“On a beach.” Haru’s voice was deep and sexy and Makoto could only nod, before he joined him on the bed, looming over him. Haru was moving subtly, as if inviting him, and Makoto decided that would just not do. He was too hot, too inviting and he had no desire to end this so quickly. “Be right back.”

He did not do that shopping for nothing after all and they were celebrating. Humming, he finally found what he was looking for and then grabbed the lube and a condom on his way too. No point in stopping twice after all. Makoto didn’t think they were nearly ready for some of the things he’d read but simple versions they could do. Something Haru had done had given him the idea and he’d jumped at it when he saw the offer.

Haru was watching him with hooded eyes as he got back to him. His hand was teasingly following the path from his cock to his nipple, not actually touching either but definitely inviting. The image erotic, it was playing havoc with his nerves. Makoto left their usual stuff to the side before leaning over to kiss him lightly then clearing his throat. He did want to say what he wanted first, and not just spring it on him.

“I want to try something, if you’re willing.” Haru lifted his eyebrow in question and Makoto showed him the scarves. A tilt of his head and Haru nodded but Makoto shook his head. Licking his lips he knew he should be able to say it if he wanted to do it. “It’s not just your hands, it’s a blindfold too.”

There was a slight pause and Makoto was actually glad Haru was seriously thinking it over. The idea excited him and he wanted to try it for himself too but losing one of his senses could certainly be too much.

“Yes.” Haru’s words snapped him out of it and he smiled.

“If you want to stop at any point, say red. The site suggested green, yellow and red, as clear signals for go, pause and stop. They’re also not something we usually use.” He was babbling a bit by then but he wanted to start this off on the right foot. Yes, it was really mild but at the same time, he needed to feel secure in knowing they were both in this and safe.

Haru just nodded again, and lifted his hands.

Makoto almost groaned at the easy motion and almost fumbled with the scarf, ending up chiding himself that he should at least appear like he knew what he was doing. Haru’s soft look made him blush so he just shrugged and got on with it, securing the ends to the bedpost. The blindfold came next and just the action of putting it on held its own allure.

When he sat back on Haru’s thighs, he couldn’t suppress a groan coming out. Haru was spread out in front of him, practically at his mercy and his mouth watered. His hands moved involuntarily almost, down Haru’s torso, his fingers sculpting the powerful muscles.

“Your skin is cold from the rain.”

He leaned on his elbows then, bringing their lips together in a long, demanding kiss but kept the rest of his body away from Haru’s. Taking his time with it, he explored Haru’s mouth, nipping on his lips every now and then only to return and plunder his mouth again. Maybe he couldn’t move his arms but the rest of his body was free and soon, Makoto could see him moving, demanding more. Kissing him once more he moved up his jaw then, all the way up to his ear lobe.

“Don’t come until I say so.” He heard Haru’s breath hitch, but he just gave him another kiss before shifting down his body. He scraped his nails down his nipples and torso but kept it at that. Pushing his legs apart and up, he settled between them and kissed along his inner thighs, making his way to his cleft. One long swipe with his tongue produced a wonderful sound from Haru and he grinned, then brought his fingers into play.

He took his time preparing Haru.

The long, drawn out moans coming from above gave him more reason not to hurry and he played with Haru’s hole, teasing it before he’d slowly pump that finger in and out, carefully avoiding the one place that he knew would bring him the most intense pleasure. Haru’s sigh of relief when he added a second didn’t last long and soon whines were accompanying the slow stretching of his channel. Makoto would not be dissuaded though and he left small kisses along Haru’s sensitive skin while adding a third. Soon he could tell by Haru’s tone when he called out his name then that he was nearing his limit. Makoto didn’t answer him, did not want to, but he at last withdrew his fingers, act accompanied by another sigh from above, and then quickly wiped them off. He had to breathe in a few times before he managed to put the condom on, to try and relax, and finally he was pushing in slowly, without hesitation this time, stopping only when fully seated.

Carefully lowering himself then, he covered Haru’s now sweat soaked body completely with his own, before kissing him. Haru almost bucked then but Makoto’s weight had him pinned down, his arms jerking but unable to move from the restraints. The kiss was long, drawn out, mimicking what they both wanted.

“Makoto.” His name was almost torn out of Haru’s throat, his voice quivering. He smiled, knowing Haru couldn’t see him, still refusing to answer, and rubbed their noses together in a silly move before kissing him again. His lower body started moving in small, shallow thrusts. He kept his pace lazy even when Haru’s legs came around him in an attempt to spur him on.

“Makoto, Makoto, Makoto.”

His name was a chant out of Haru’s mouth by then and Makoto answered by speeding up the movements of his body, as his own was screaming at him in demand by then. He sealed their lips together, swallowing Haru’s whimpers and words. The slap of their bodies was loud in the night’s silence and knowing he was nearing the point of no return, Makoto switched the angles of his thrusts until he had Haru crying out beneath him. Haru’s arms were twitching in front of his eyes and he made sure to hit that spot every time.

The body beneath him was almost arched and he couldn’t ask more of Haru. Bending his head, he sucked in his earlobe, making Haru mewl in response.

“Come for me Haru.”

His voice was gravely from disuse and low but it was enough because Haru’s entire body jerked and he felt the tight channel around him spasm. Utterly fascinated by how beautiful Haru looked in that moment, he managed to move a few more times before his own orgasm overcame him and he lost himself in the pulsating pleasure.

It took a while for him to calm his breathing but he realized he was almost squishing Haru underneath him. Raising himself up on wobbly arms, he pecked his lips and pushed off Haru’s soaked hair off his face. Thinking first thing’s first, he carefully withdrew and got rid of the condom, then turning on the light at the softest setting, before returning to cover Haru again. He pulled off the blindfold then and Haru blinked rapidly at him, his eyes trying to adjust to both the light and suddenly being able to see again. Makoto took the chance and quickly untied his arms too, before rubbing them vigorously to help and restore the circulation.

He didn’t do it for long though because Haru’s arms suddenly came up around him, scrambling along his shoulders, and he was being pulled down, Haru’s head buried in the crook of his neck. Makoto kissed his temple and let himself be held for a while. The grip that was holding him had not lessened but they had to clean up at least a little bit just then. Pushing, he tried getting up but Haru would not let go.

“I will be right back.” He kissed him again and though he expected Haru to allow him to get up then, he just kept looking at Makoto’s face, looking for something only he knew. Makoto felt his entire face go soft then and he kissed him gently again. “Right back, I promise.”

Finally he was released and he made sure to be as quick as possible, cleaning himself off in the bathroom and then bringing a wash cloth back for Haru who just looked at him and allowed it. He contemplated going to the kitchen on his way back to the bathroom, and grabbing them a bottle of water and decided that it was worth it. A small sound of inquiry came from Haru when he saw him leave but he just promised he’d be as fast as possible again. Indeed it took him scarcely a few minutes and when he saw Haru gulp down the cool liquid he had brought back, he was glad he made the choice.

He got back into bed after drinking some himself, feeling parched after everything. He took his chance to settle over Haru again and thoroughly kiss him, before rolling them over, feeling thankful their bed was big enough so he could. Haru was now resting on top of him, his head going straight back onto Makoto’s shoulder. His hands roamed Haru’s back in gentle, soothing motions while Haru wiggled until he found a comfortable spot.

“All right?” His softly spoken words were left unanswered for long enough that he started to become a little worried but Haru finally emerged from his hiding place and blinked at him.

“Yes.” Nodding swiftly, he leaned towards Makoto, a soft kiss bestowed on his lips.

“Too much?”

A shake of the head and Haru wrinkled his nose, apparently having trouble in expressing himself even though he wanted to. “I’m not used to not seeing you.” He laid back down, his nose buried into Makoto’s neck so that his following words we soft and Makoto had to strain to discern them. “I’m not used to not being able to hold you.”

One of Makoto’s hands buried itself into the dark strands, combing them out gently, while he kept the other around Haru.

“But it was really good.” A shy voice was heard again and Makoto tightened his hold. He was glad because he had enjoyed it a lot too. Haru wiggled again, as if trying to worm himself even closer to Makoto, who was pretty sure that was physically impossible. His hand patted over the bed until he found their covers and he drew them over, making sure they were tucked in, before resuming his soothing motions over Haru’s back.

He refused to allow himself to go to sleep before he was sure that Haru had first. His face burned but he thought it was a small price to pay for being able to whisper words of love and comfort into Haru’s ear, until he heard his breathing had evened out and he had finally gone to sleep.

Only then did Makoto follow him into the lands of dreams too.

~~

He could swear his arms were still tingling.

Haru stretched and rotated his shoulders, letting the warm water around him relax his whole being. Makoto had woken him up with kisses that morning and he’d snuggled down on top of him, just enjoying until to his protests, he finally got nudged off. Though, to be fair, he had gotten another kiss before Makoto had gone to take his shower. He had still been cocooned in a heap of covers when he’d emerged back, announcing he’d be making breakfast and Haru could take a bath.

That had been an invitation he had not been able to resist so he’d finally gotten up, grabbed another quick kiss which caused Makoto to lightly pat his arse while laughing, and then filled the tub. He had gotten the bath oil he wanted which is how he had found himself just then, submerged up to his chin, his head pillowed on a soft towel.

_Last night was strange._

He let that thought rattle around his brain before he scrunched his nose at the ceiling.

_Good too._

_Good because it was strange?_

Haru couldn’t really make heads or tails of it. The word good probably wasn’t accurate, spectacular would be more like it. At the same time though, it was still strange.

He allowed himself to be submerged and opened his eyes, looking up at the surface and the distorted tiles. Blinking he thought about not being able to hear anything but the water while he was like this and thought that last night was pretty much just like that.

He resurfaced and shook the droplets out of his eyes, before lowering himself back on his cushy towel. Well, thinking about it, at least similar. He wasn’t quite sure what he’d expected when Makoto had put that blindfold on him, he had been sure it wouldn’t make much of a difference. But being deprived of that one sense had made him strangely focused on the man with him. He had been aware of every intake of breath, more so as time moved on and Makoto had stayed strangely quiet. Haru had expected words but there had been none, at least until the end. Maybe that’s why they had affected him so.

Makoto’s touch had been his main focus though, from those questing fingers, to the joining of their bodies. It had all felt more somehow, more intense, more intimate. Like those infernal kisses Makoto had kept bestowing on him. He’d craved them though, he’d be a fool to deny it to himself.

_Stop beating about the bush._

He sighed, closing his eyes. Yes, he’d craved them because he hadn’t been able to do what he had wanted at the time, which was wrap himself up around Makoto, as he usually did. He hadn’t realized just how much it meant to be able to hold onto him when he wanted, needed. Haru had taken it for granted, the fact that he could touch to his heart’s content when they were together.He’d never thought he was the person who was too tactile but he was quickly coming to realize that with Makoto it was necessary. It wasn’t just when they were together like that either, it was before his meets, or when he had a rough day, or when he just simply wanted to be held.

It made him feel safe, and yes, loved.

Which was why he had been able to let go like that in the first place, allow Makoto to take control. He had known Makoto would take care of him and it had been exhilarating. He had felt like he was floating, free.

He scrunched his nose at the ceiling again and decided that was all right. Makoto was his port in both quiet and storm after all, his anchor, his home. It only made sense it had been that way.

Feeling better now he’d untangled some things, the idea of a repeat performance from the night before definitely sounded excellent to his ears. Especially as he knew that those things he needed from Makoto, he would always get. He got up and rinsed himself off, then got dressed and cleaned up after himself quickly.

_I’m hungry._

Walking out towards the kitchen he smelled food and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haru took him to the [Blue Note](http://www.bluenote.co.jp/jp/) of course. Now that's what I call celebration XD  
> Next time we have some swimming and Haru making a mistake. Dun dun dun.


	30. Chapter 30

#  Chapter 30

 

 

Haru frowned at the date of the newspapers before looking down at the article again.

The four-day Invitational was fast approaching and the news coverage of it had picked up too. He’d been scheduled for several interviews and both Rin and Hamasaki were doing some. One of the girls he knew had been talking about her own just that afternoon, when he’d gone to have a snack with a bunch of them.

He supposed it was only natural that foreign swimmers were then giving their own.

Haru just really, really didn’t like what he was reading.

Rin had passed him in the hallway as he was heading out, stuffed the paper into his hands and told him to look for the sports section. He had blinked at his retreating back but he was used to his bluntness by then and put it away, deciding to look at it on his way home, if he happened to find a seat. He’d actually almost forgotten about it and then had wished he had because what he’d read made him quite annoyed.

As soon as he had gotten home and took care of his things, he sat on the couch, again spreading the paper in front of himself on the cushions.

The text had not changed.

_Well, of course it hasn’t changed. I’m turning into an idiot._

In his own defence, and honestly, what was he even doing, he was truly miffed. He recognized the name of course. Sousuke had been steadily covering all the swimmers he’d be meeting sooner or later, and though there had been a lot of names to go over considering Haru truly hadn’t been paying attention before, he had remembered them. This guy’s too.

_I need a distraction._

With that he got up and leaving the accursed newspaper lying on the couch, walked towards the kitchen. Makoto would be home for dinner after all, he’d gone out to submit all the paperwork for his scholarship so that it could be finalized and then to meet with Nagisa for a coffee.

Which meant he’d be hungry. Haru would of course make sure to make something sweet for him as well.

He nodded to himself and opened the fridge, grabbing the eggs. Putting them in a bowl and getting his whisk out, he pointedly ignored that he could have just used the mixer. He had some steam to release after all.

~~

“I’m home!”

Makoto’s voice could be heard from the genkan, and a rather loud slam of the door.

“Sorry!”

Soon enough a sheepish Makoto showed up in the kitchen and kissed his cheek, Haru craning his neck so that he’d make it easier for him since his hands seemed to be full and no other reason, of course.

“Shopping?”

Makoto blushed before shrugging. “Ah yes. You see, I mentioned to Nagisa that I need new jammers for the internship and well,…”

Haru laughed. “It is Nagisa. There’s more there than just jammers.”

“She thought a new track suit would be good too.” Sighing, he dropped the bags onto the chair and wrapped his arms around Haru then, his head nesting on Haru’s shoulder. “I just cannot say no to her.”

Snickering again, Haru lightly shrugged careful not to dislodge him and stirred the pot.

“Am I in the way?” Makoto murmured into his neck, sending shivers down Haru’s spine.

“It’s fine.” There was no way he would ever say anything. He loved it when Makoto got like this. “You have to model for me later.”

“Eh?” Makoto’s head popped up at that and Haru just nodded. “Haru!”

“No negotiations.” He tasted the sauce and took it off the heat. “Done. Come on, let’s set the table. You’re hungry right?”

“I could eat a horse. We walked and walked, I have no idea how many stores we went through.”

His face looked so pathetic that Haru couldn’t resist. He cradled Makoto’s head and kissed him thoroughly, loving the dazed look on his face. “My poor Makoto.”

“She has a lot of opinions.” There was a whine in his voice but Haru was aware he’d actually enjoyed the attention. Makoto always took care of people and was forever surprised when someone took on that role for him. It also delighted him.

“She cares about you.”

Makoto smiled sheepishly at that, flushing again and Haru tugged at his hand, knowing he was embarrassed and would appreciate it if they switched the subject.

“It’s not a horse but there’s plenty.”

The delighted laughter that followed them into the living room as they set the table made him feel happy and even more so the satisfied hums when they began eating. Of course, the kiss Makoto bestowed on him in appreciation didn’t hurt either.

As soon as he put the first bite into his mouth, Haru realized he was incredibly hungry himself and concentrated on steadily eating his way through several helpings. In the back on his mind a small mantra was running how it would also help him out for his swimming, which considering everything just then was definitely a great thing. He tried dismissing those thoughts from his head and simply enjoying but he found that he could not. Sighing, he wiped his plate clean and relaxed in his chair.

Makoto was leaning on his hand, his elbow resting on the table, and smiling at him. He wasn’t sure what was causing that so just raised his eyebrow in question.

“Something’s bothering you.”

That Makoto could read him well was truly no surprise and he just sighed again, rubbing his face with his hands before waving at the newspaper that was still on the couch. He watched as Makoto got up and grabbed the thing, seating himself as he started to read. A small frown soon appeared on his face, and it got deeper as he read on. Haru finally got up and cuddled up to him, seeking contact.

“That.”

“What is this?!” Makoto waved the paper around and Haru had to pat his hand to get him to settle down. He shared the sentiment though.

“It’s annoying, that’s what it is.”

“He’s dismissing you because of what? I mean he is our age!”

Haru rubbed his arm again and snuggled some more, happy when Makoto got the point and finally drew him closer. This position was one of his favourites.

“He’s our age and our times are actually pretty on par. It’s why it’s so stupid. He says he doesn’t feel like I’m going to be a threat and he feels confident he’s going to win all of his races easily and based on what?” He let his head rest on Makoto’s shoulder, hoping to relax.

“He’s implying we’re inferior! So what if we haven’t had much success there, it doesn’t mean anything.” Makoto’s hand squeezed his shoulder and he grumbled a bit. “Sorry Haru. This is just so infuriating. You have to win!”

“Eh?”

“Can you win?” Makoto’s serious face was looking down at him and he shrugged lightly.

“I believe so. I must not get too worked up over it though. I’m focused on him when I should be focusing on my swimming.”

“It’s hard to ignore something like that. The interviewer asked about you by name and he just waved it off. It’s rude!”

“I know. I want to win too.”

“You do have a point though.”

“Hmm?”

Haru found himself being gently kissed instead of an answer, his mind going blissfully blank of all worries. Moaning when his tongue was sucked, his hand grasped for purchase on Makoto’s chest, and he leaned even further in, hoping for more. Makoto nipped his lower lip though and backed off a bit, making him pout.

“You’re far more passionate than anyone would ever believe. Your exterior is so calm that few think of what’s beneath it. If you focus too much on him it could distract you.”

“What? Oh!” He blinked rapidly, then snickered. Makoto was a distraction, if there was one. A brilliant one too. He grinned then, thinking that that was actually exactly what he needed.

“You could model the new things for me then.”

“How did we get from that to this?!” Makoto’s face was turning red, his voice high but Haru looked at him levelly.

“I do need something better to think of. And I do so enjoy looking at you.”

Makoto kept blinking at him, as if to check if Haru was serious, then huffed. “Fine.” He got up, grabbed the bags and trudged to the bedroom. It was Haru’s turn to blink because he really hadn’t been sure Makoto would be up for it but then he grinned. He truly loved looking at him, that was certainly no lie and the idea of a show, just for him, excited him. Glancing at the closed door, he figured he had enough time so quickly rushed to the kitchen to get himself a drink. He was back just in time because Makoto’s head peeked out then.

“Don’t laugh.”

“Why would I?” He smirked then pointed to the iPod dock. “Should I put some music on?”

“Haru!” Makoto squeaked, going red in the face. “I am not going to strip for you! Just, let’s do this.” He sighed and stepped outside, padding barefoot into the living room.

Tilting his head, he let his gaze slowly drift and take in Makoto’s clothed body. He had a pair of black bottoms, nicely fitted paired with a deep purple top that was just tight enough that Haru could glimpse the strong muscles it hid. Nagisa had done a splendid job, if he did say so himself. Makoto was very relaxed when it came to anything but formal wear but she’d obviously taken the time to make sure the fit and the colours were perfect.

Makoto’s babbling interrupted him and he had to tear his eyes from those strong thighs. “I tried telling her that anything not garish would do but she kept insisting. I don’t even see that big of a difference from my old one.” He thrust his hands in the air, causing Haru to laugh.

“Doesn’t it remind you of something?”

“Eh?”

Haru got up then and practically stalked his way up to Makoto who was looking at him in slight confusion. Unable to resist, he let his hand land on one of Makoto’s shoulders, sculpting it as he walked to stand behind him. “Don’t you remember? That night, at the club.” Both of his hands now squeezed Makoto’s shoulders before he dragged them down his arms. “She was telling the truth when she said she truly liked our outfits.” He had to stand on tiptoes to grab Makoto’s earlobe in his teeth and tug.

“Oh!”

He kissed Makoto’s neck then and moved to stand in front of him again. “I liked it too.” He brought their lips together in a searing kiss, Makoto’s hands coming up to tangle in his hair, much to both of their liking. Groaning, he still broke it after a while, Makoto’s lips following his but he laid a finger on them and smiled.

“If you won’t strip, I don’t mind doing it.”

Taking his time to tease the zipper down, he kept his eyes fixed on Makoto’s then finally lowered them once he got the top opened. His fingers were itching to touch that skin so he did, allowing himself to indulge. Makoto stood still the entire time, though his breathing had picked up slightly. Finally he pushed the cloth off Makoto’s shoulders and laid a gentle kiss just above his heart.

That was enough for Makoto to demand another one, his mouth wet and hot, and Haru moaned into it, stepping even closer, his hands landing on and clutching Makoto’s hips. “I want to see the rest.”

“Want to make sure they fit well?” Makoto’s voice was low and he was smiling at Haru, almost teasing him but there truly was no need because he did intend to make sure they fit well. It was only natural. He nodded and then got pushed back lightly, Makoto apparently changing his mind and pealing the pants off his legs. Haru watched him carefully, while backing up until he hit the edge of the couch. Seating himself, he grinned and twirled one of his fingers.

Makoto turned slowly, finally widening his stance once he had his back towards Haru. “So how about it?”

“Did Nagisa make you model these?”

“No. I picked these on my own.”

“They’re perfect.” Haru thought they truly were, black but with a subtle green strip waving from his hip down to the hem. Makoto grinned at him then turned around and walked over to Haru, leaning over him, his hands resting on the couch next to Haru’s head.

“Do I get a reward?”

“Maybe.” He titled his head up and that was invitation enough for Makoto to kiss him again, his mouth demanding. Haru didn’t mind though, his arms going around Makoto’s shoulders. Soon enough that wasn’t enough for him and he pushed, wanting to move the proceedings into the bedroom.

Makoto wouldn’t budge though. Haru stopped but he got cut off just as he was about to ask what was the hold up. “No, here.” Makoto went right back to kissing after that proclamation and Haru groaned at the image that popped into his head. He found it quite inviting so hummed his approval.

Makoto took care of his clothes in quick fashion after that, not allowing him to move from the couch so he found himself sprawled naked on it, with Makoto still in his jammers, his erection prominent. Haru had to wonder if that was at least a tiny bit painful but decided that it was actually probably pretty useful. Soon he had no room for such thoughts as Makoto had unceremoniously gone on his knees, bent his head down and swallowed him in one go. He shouted, his hand flying into Makoto’s hair, hips twitching under Makoto’s hand that was holding him down.

He wasn’t sure what was driving him wild more, that hot mouth around his cock or the hums Makoto was emitting. He loved doing this to Makoto but to hear sounds of Makoto’s enjoyment too was a turn on of its own. Not able to keep himself quiet any longer, especially when that wicked tongue licked the underside and he let out a drawn out, low moan. Just when he was truly getting going Makoto lifted his head and grinned.

“Be back in a second.”

Haru figured that of course, they’d need lube and that was in the bedroom but Makoto only stretched to get his discarded jacket that was still on the floor behind him and reached into the pocket, producing the necessary items. Startled into laughter, Haru shook his head at his look of triumph and pure self-satisfaction. “Planning ahead?”

“Always.” Another mischievous smile followed that statement and then he was pushing Haru’s legs open, the now lubed fingers questing for his opening. He was submitted to a slow torture then, Makoto being thorough as usual, and no amount of pleading made him hurry up. In the end, he clenched his muscles around Makoto’s fingers, hoping to convey the message that he was ready and Makoto better hurry up or he’d find himself on his back, with Haru riding him. Before he got the chance to actually evaluate the merit of that idea, Makoto’s fingers left him and he was being pulled to the floor, to his knees. He followed and then he allowed Makoto to turn him around, understanding what he wanted. His hands flew to the couch and then he leaned on his elbows, feeling completely displayed for Makoto.

The sound of plastic being ripped filled the room so he craned his neck to look back and sure enough, Makoto was putting on the condom, before applying some more lube. Haru groaned from the sight then quickly turned his head back. It was simply too titillating at that moment.

He sighed when he felt the tip of Makoto’s cock on his hole, his breath hitching slightly when it slipped in. Taking a few breaths to let that initial burn subside, he pushed back and then groaned as Makoto slid carefully in, filling him completely. Makoto’s arm came around his middle then, his front plastered across Haru’s back and lips that fastened onto his neck. Haru craned his head, loving the feeling of being completely covered by Makoto, his body arching into it.

“Haru.” His name whispered in that low voice made him buck and Makoto answered with a thrust of his hips. It didn't take long before they were moving together, slow at first but then increasingly faster, Haru’s head bent low, his hair in his face. He soon had to move and rose up a bit, his hands gripping the back of the couch, changing the angle of Makoto’s thrust and he cried out. Makoto’s hands covered his, their fingers twining and he held on, letting Makoto take him in quick, hard thrusts, trying to last as long as possible.

Makoto’s harsh groans behind him were mixing with his own soft cries and way too quickly for his liking his stomach muscles tensed up. He managed to hang in there for bit longer but then it was just too much, his entire body overwhelmed by sensations and he let himself go, his orgasm overtaking him in one giant wave of pleasure. He cried out again when Makoto hit that sweet spot, feeling almost like he had come again just then, the feeling intense. They both collapsed onto the couch then, their strength spent, Makoto’s heavy weight pinning him down. He didn’t mind though and as soon as he could, he moved one of his hands, his fingers tangling into Makoto’s hair.

“I need to model for you more.”

The unexpected words made him laugh, Makoto joining him then, his lips seeking Haru’s. They managed to kiss but the movement of their bodies caused Makoto to slip out of him and they both groaned. Makoto wrinkled his nose, then got up to dispose of the condom, and Haru had to laugh because that part was a bit icky. He wondered what it be like to feel Makoto without that piece of latex, feel him come inside him, and groaned, forcing his thoughts into another direction. It was something to think about but definitely not just then. He stretched, then winced at the few kinks in his back.

“Bath?” Makoto had returned and offered him a hand up, which he gratefully took. He allowed his arms to wind around Makoto’s neck, Makoto’s own embracing him right away, bringing him closer. “Of course.” They kissed, Haru enjoying the connection now that the desire had died down, feeling quite content.

Makoto smiled at him, his eyes squinting.

“Why do I even ask? You are Haru, of course you want a bath.”

Haru just shrugged and then tugged him along towards the bathroom and the tub.

It was water, of course he did.

~~

That feeling of contentment had lasted well into the next day but by the time he’d had his break during practice, wolfing down his lunch, it had begun fading. Rin certainly wasn’t helping much.

“We are going to crush him!”

“You’re not swimming free this time.” Haru grabbed his salad and poked at the tomatoes.

“Whatever. You are.” Rin waved his chopsticks around. “Same thing. I don’t mind a little friendly challenge, you know?”

Haru most certainly did know but refrained from commenting. The cucumbers were quite good and took his attention.

“This is so different. He’s saying it to our faces that we’re not good enough. You. Whatever.”

“Try the cucumbers.”

“Eh? Haru.” Rin put his things down and turned to look at him, his expression puzzled. “Aren’t you the least big angry?”

“Of course I am.” He stabbed a piece of carrot with quite a bit of ferocity, making Rin blink at him in surprise then popped it into his mouth and chewed with determination. “I’m annoyed. I have been since yesterday. Makoto helped but you just had to go and bring it up.”

“I’m sorry but this guy is not going to just go away. Plus, it’s because we’re Japanese!”

“I know that.” Haru sighed, then stabbed another tomato.

“Then how can you be so calm?!” Rin’s voice rose at the end and Haru just glanced at him. Rin was exactly as he had always been; passionate, his emotions always bubbling at the top and spilling over, driving him to reach out further, go faster.

Though Haru always responded to him, he needed calm in order to do his best.

“I’m not.”

“Which is precisely the problem.” A third voice interrupted them and they both looked up only to see Mizushima-san joining them. He waved them down as they were both about to get up and then seated himself across from them. “Nanase here is different from you Matsuoka.” He stole a piece of carrot from Haru’s lunch and laughed at Haru’s blink, before munching it down. His face turned serious then and his fingers steepled together in front of him. “It’s not better or worse, it just is. People are different. You get pumped up and it drives you forward. I’ve been talking to your coach, I like to know my swimmers.” He smiled, reading Rin’s curious expression quite well. Haru had wondered himself, because Mizushima-san hadn’t interacted much with Rin. “You two do have some interesting history.”

Haru flushed and he could spy from the corner of his eye Rin’s equally pinkish face. He was rubbing the back of his neck while studying the table in front of them. His coach luckily ignored their embarrassment and just moved on, though the smirk on his face was probably visible from space. “How you two relate to each other though, is not how he relates to everyone else.”

“It’s the same for me.” Rin mumbled, surprising Haru, who hadn’t expected him to actually say anything.

Mizushima-san just nodded though before continuing on. “Nanase needs calm and focus, so being annoyed as a primary state is not a good thing. Any strong emotion is not going to help him at the moment of swimming. There are things to be taken from them, it’s good to have the drive to advance. I have told you that already.” Haru nodded because he understood using such an emotion that way. It was just proving a bit difficult to control. He hadn’t actually expected that though maybe he should have.

“I’ve read the same article as you two, it’s incredibly rude the way he is behaving but focus on your own swimming.” He nodded at them and then left them to their lunch.

Haru finished his salad and moved on to the next dish when Rin sighed next to him.

“It’s easier said than done.”

He could only agree.

It was just all so annoying.

~~

If he had been annoyed, just then he was simply infuriated.

“Come on Nanase.” A hand tugged at his bare arm but he stood rooted to the spot, glaring at the floor tiles. “I said come on.”

He didn’t resist then as he didn’t want to anger his coach further but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel like yelling, quite loudly too. If he had to look back he could not recall if he’d ever been this angry over something in regards to swimming. He allowed himself to be led towards the locker rooms but kept his eyes firmly to the ground. The noise was everywhere around him, he could even hear someone calling his name but there was no way he could deal with anything else right now.

When the sound was suddenly cut off, he finally lifted his head and saw they’d taken a detour to one of the little side rooms. He sighed and thrust his hands into his hair.

“I don’t understand.”

That wasn’t entirely true. He did understand but at the same time, it was just so idiotic. He couldn’t believe this was happening. “I mean…”

“I know what you mean.” Mizushima-san tugged at him again. They sat down, Haru facing him, still in his jammers, his cap and goggles tightly clutched in his hands. “You won yet you did not win.”

Nodding, he finally looked up expecting to see disappointment on the man’s face, maybe even anger. Haru felt like he owed it to his coach too to win, to be the best. He’d chosen him when not many would and had worked hard for the last months, trying to get him to improve. Mizushima-san looked none of those things though, in fact he looked quite serene. He blinked then took a deep breath.

Putting his hands on his knees, he bowed. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

His head snapped up and he shook it. “I should have won that.”

“Yes, that’s true.” Mizushima-san nodded and then smiled. “That you did not was not your fault Nanase. You did well.”

Haru shook his head again, averting his eyes. He didn’t do well at all. If anything, it was a nightmare. He had managed to somehow calm himself enough to go through the days following that conversation that Rin had been privy to. Makoto had helped immensely and he’d worked through his practices, gave a few interviews and had been finally relatively calm that morning, the day of the 100m race.

He’d ignored everything, even though inside he didn’t think he’d quite reached that place where it was just him and water. It was as if on the surface a dark shadow lurked, following him and biding its time. He tried hard anyway to give his best and he’d thought he’d won. He’d touched first. Only to be told he’d lost because apparently his hand had slid and he hadn’t pressed the pad that registered the times hard enough.

It was a complete jumble in his head. To make things worse, the one person he had wanted to beat, had ended up winning, through Haru’s own mistake.

Of course he had something to apologize for. He did not do well.

“Of course it’s my fault. I should have done better.”

“No, it’s my fault, not yours.” He lifted his hand then, asking Haru to listen to him and he nodded. “You did all you should. You trained hard, you did as we agreed during the race even though I know you’ve not been completely settled. Overcoming that was not easy and yet you’ve still had one great race.” He patted Haru’s arm then, relaxing in his chair. “We have not practiced charging into the finish enough, and that is my fault, not yours. I’ll be correcting that in our practices to come. We’ll also be working more on the psychological part of your training, something to help you with situations like these, they will repeat, it’s just the nature of sport, even though the precise cause may not be the same.”

Haru couldn’t help himself then, even though he truly respected his coach, it was as if he had failed. “With all due respect, I still think I should have won.” His voice was full of anguish but he felt a full range of emotions right then. Frustrated and angry, and even inadequate. What if he truly wasn’t good enough?

“You’re better than him, so the answer to that is yes and I am going to make sure you have all the tools you need in the future. Nanase, will you listen to me please?”

Haru nodded once, his eyes finally meeting that of his coach.

“There are some who would say talent doesn’t exist, they would say you were simply lucky. I disagree. I’ll tell you what I consider luck though. When a person who has an overwhelming talent has the drive to make something of it, something special, and has the opportunity to do so. I cannot do anything about the first two but I can secure the latter for you, and people like you. I’ve made it my life’s goal.”

He waved his hand as if he wanted to add something more, then shook his head, as suddenly deciding to let it be just then.

“We need to trust each other, it’s the only way this is going to work. If I tell you lies, then the point of our association is lost. We are both striving to get you to the Olympics and that’s not going to happen if I don’t tell you the truth about your performance.”

That made sense and Haru indicated that he understood. After all, if he didn’t tell him the truth then he could not make corrections and advance.

“Good. So hear what I am telling you. You have what it takes. You did your best. It was my fault things turned out the way they did, not yours. We are going to correct this, easily, and we are going to start working on other aspects too. I know you feel frustrated, and angry, and that it is a combination of both what happened and who has beaten you.” Haru couldn’t deny it, it was the truth. “You are going to go home, to your partner and try and relax as much as you can. You have a day off from the meet so come into my office first tomorrow morning, I’ll walk you through a few things that I think will help. We’ll do a light practice, including the race finish.”

“All right.”

“You’re a winner Nanase. Take comfort in that.”

“Eh?”

“It’s why you’re so frustrated now. You want to win, and you want to win it all. You want perfection and strive for it. That’s what is going to make you a true champion one day. I told you, not everyone has that drive to go beyond what would be more than acceptable to others. You may love water but you also have fire in you, deep down that nothing can quench.”

Haru recalled Makoto’s words just then, thinking his coach had it right.

“Makoto said that I’m far more passionate than people would ever believe.”

“Tachibana is a smart man, I did say I liked him. After all, he knows you best, doesn’t he?”

Haru finally felt a smile come to him and he let it come out. “He does.”

“All that water helps more than people would believe I think. I’d tell you not to get too worked up over the papers tomorrow but I know it’s not possible so we’ll talk in the morning. Deep breaths, do the few interviews, then home. We have two more races, I am certain it is going to be fine.”

“Thank you, for everything.” Haru truly meant it too. He felt somehow lighter, having had this talk. There was still a feeling of frustration over what had happened, but the anger had lessened and with it, the feeling that he might not be good enough. He always told Makoto that he should believe in himself, maybe he should take his own advice. He shouldn’t waver at the first hurdle, especially when he had a coach like that, guarding his back. After all, they would sort it all out, quite quickly too. He was deeply grateful for the understanding his coach had given him and the support and fully intended to do his best in the next couple of races. “Thank you.” He repeated again, bowing to him.

Mizushima-san just waved him off and they returned back, Haru going straight to the locker-rooms. He took a quick shower, and sent a short text to Makoto not to worry, that he was fine and would be home as soon as he could. He hadn’t thought about it until that moment but he could imagine how Makoto felt, having been present for it all. He then walked out right into the lion’s den, in his humble opinion, or what the others called the press room, and endured the questions. Most were asking if he thought it was just to have this outcome, considering he did come in first but he studiously avoided getting involved in the conversation, repeating that he intended to do his best in the future. He wanted to win the next few races if he could, then he’d think about maybe saying something else.

The van was waiting for them and soon he found himself finally home, unlocking the door and getting rid of his shoes. He dropped the bag as soon as he entered the living room and just as he was about to call out for Makoto he was caught in a strong embrace, Makoto’s smell enveloping him, and instantly relaxing him.

“I’m home.” He mumbled into Makoto’s shoulder because that was truly where home was and let himself go almost limp in his arms.

“Oh Haru.”

His arms tightened even more and Haru raised his own to return the embrace.

Makoto lifted his head and caught Haru’s eyes then drew him in for a kiss. “I’ve got food. How about we sit on the couch and you eat something?”

He was truly hungry so happily acquiesced. He was also so grateful Makoto hadn’t pressed and had turned their attention right away to something as maudlin as food. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk about it, he even yearned to, which he found quite fascinating if he were being honest with himself, but before that he needed some time to decompress from it all.

His jacket went first then he popped over to the bathroom to wash his hands and refresh himself. He didn’t feel like taking a proper shower just then, so he returned to the living room to find Makoto balancing a large tray with food heaped on it. Hurrying over, he took some of the bowls which allowed Makoto to sit down and arrange everything. He pointed over to his lap and Haru gladly went, because that was precisely what he needed right then. Snuggling down, he gratefully accepted the bowl of hot soup and slowly sipped.

The hot liquid was wonderful, making him sigh. Makoto’s hand kept rubbing soothing circles on his back and that, mixed with everything else, helped him slowly let go of the tension. He ate his fill, the relaxation helping him realize he was considerably hungrier than he’d first thought, Makoto even feeding him choice bits from his own servings, and once done, laid his head against Makoto’s chest, his eyes closing.

“Do you feel like sleeping?”

He tried snuggling even further before rubbing his cheek against the soft shirt. “No, I’m not sleepy. Thank you for the food. I needed that.”

“Always.” He hummed happily at the gentle kiss Makoto pressed into his hair and then sighed. He really did feel the need to talk.

“It was just so stupid.”

Makoto let out a little sound to let him know he was listening but otherwise kept silent. He was grateful because it would be easier to get it all out without being interrupted.

“It’s not that I lost, nobody wins all the time. It’s that I lost to this particular guy and how I did! It made me feel stupid. Not pressing the pad with enough force. Who does that?” His hands clutched at Makoto and he felt better for the solid presence of him. “I just know he’s going to use it too. It’s why I was so angry with myself. I felt inadequate.”

“That’s not true.”

Makoto’s voice rang in his head and he smiled. The quick, forceful denial sent warmth through him and he raised his head, seeking a kiss. Warm lips met his and the last of his tension had fallen away with it.

“Mizushima-san spoke to me right after the decision was reached.” He told him right after settling back again.

“I hope he wasn’t angry.”

“I thought he might be but I think it would have been worse if he were disappointed.” Fingers started playing with his hair, causing him to smile again. “He was great though. He kept insisting it was his fault, not mine and that I’d done well. I tried arguing but he wouldn’t hear of it.”

“That’s what makes him such a great coach.”

“Eh?”

“Good swim, good swimmer. Bad swim, bad coach. Just something we say.” Haru idly wondered if Makoto even realized he was already talking about himself as a coach. Probably not but Haru certainly did think he was one. He thought as one; that was clear to him. “You’re really talented, you work hard, this was not your fault. It’s something that is learned and just how much clear instruction have you had Haru? Listen to him. I’m sure he already talked about working on it?”

“He has. That and as he calls it, the psychological aspect.”

“That’s smart.”

“He read me well. I couldn’t fully get to that place for the race, where I usually go. There was a shadow there, it bothered me.”

“You managed to swim a good race anyway.”

“Maybe if I had been clear headed, my lead would have been enough that even with that pad issue, I would have won.”

Makoto emitted a small sound and Haru tilted his head up, curious.

“It might turn out this is a good thing then.” He tightened his arm around Haru, thinking it through and Haru waited. The statement was certainly a curious one. “Think about it. This way you will work on your finishes, so something like this won’t happen again. Imagine if you hadn’t, and it happened at a big competition. Like the World’s or the Olympics even!”

Haru shuddered, he didn’t even want to think about it. Makoto did have a point and he said so, which got him a bright smile in answer.

“I’m sure he would have worked on the rest with you anyway, this just probably forced him to move it ahead a little bit and adjust it.”

“He said I had a fire inside me.” His voice held a tinge of awe, he knew it but that was how he felt.

Long fingers cupped his jaw, making him look up and then Makoto was gently pulling him, making him sit on his thighs, in one of his favourite positions.

“You do. I told you that, not many people see it. But I’m selfish so I’m all right with that.”

Haru felt like he was too so instead of answering he just kissed Makoto, enjoying being together with him like that.

“Oh!” He jerked back suddenly, making Makoto’s hands clench on his back in surprise. “I just remembered something. Mizushima-san likes you.”

“What?”

Haru laughed in delight at Makoto’s wide eyes then pecked him before nodding enthusiastically. “I’ve mentioned you a few times and what you’ve said to me, and he’s said he likes you. He also told me to go home to you tonight and relax.”

Makoto flushed but Haru could tell he was happy by how big his smile was. “I’m so glad he’s truly all right with us and that you have his support.”

“I lucked out.” Haru truly did think so. Even with what had happened that day, one good thing that certainly came out of it was that he knew with absolute certainty now that he could rely on his coach to help him through things like these, to shoulder the burden with him and help him find ways to resolve issues. Coaches were supposed to do that, ideally, but that did not always happen. He was so glad he had it.

They kissed again only to be interrupted by Haru’s yawn.

“You’re tired. Bed?”

“I want another shower. It’s just not the same when I rinse off at the pool. Then bed. You don’t have to come right away, if you’re not.”

“Don’t be silly.” Their lips met in a gentle caress before Makoto frowned at him. “It doesn’t matter if I’m tired or not, I want to be with you. To be truthful though, I am done in. I was so worried and anxious!”

“That reminds me, I should probably call my mother.”

“She’d love that, she was already fretting over not being able to come to Tokyo for this as it is.”

“Shower first though.” He snagged another kiss, then hopped off Makoto’s lap and went to the bathroom. Soon he was under the warm spray, sighing, feeling quite good, and miles better than just a few hours ago. He had a clear path towards bettering himself and making sure this would not be repeated thanks to his coach and he was supported by the person who mattered the most to him.

_That guy won’t know what hit him in the next two races._

There was a fire in him, they were right, and it was burning like the sun at that moment.

~~

Haru was sitting down in the waiting room, his race about to be called. He breathed in deeply, his eyes closed and tried doing the visualization he’d been taught the previous day.

Yesterday had been both a strange and a good day.

Mizushima-san had talked to him again and while he as promised added a few things to that day’s light practice that certainly re-assured Haru, the big thing was that he had suggested meditation as an aid. Haru had been surprised but as they had talked it over, he could see how something like that could help him out. He had said as much and they’d agreed on giving it a try. One of Mizushima-san’s acquaintances worked with athletes as a sports psychologist and utilized meditation too, so he had met with her after that day’s practice. The talk they’d had helped him to sort out his own feelings some more and then he got the talk about how he could use meditation and visualisation in the future. He’d been slightly reluctant about some of it at first but then he’d explained what he’d been doing and she was quite accepting, incorporating some things for him. There would be much more work to be done in the future, but the tiny exercise she’d taught him was helping him just then.

His discipline got announced then, and he took another deep breath and got up.

Haru heard the pool water singing to him again as soon as he stepped into the huge stadium. There were no discordant notes this time, unlike a few days ago and though there seemed to be darker, deeper, undertones to the usual beauty of it, he was at peace, not shying away as he had the other day but acknowledging it and accepting.

His name was being called far away in the distance and he was aware he had to greet the audience, a part of his mind taking care of it and then of disrobing and getting onto the start block finally, his full focus being turned on the water.

The buzzer sounded and he dived, the water welcoming him. He thought that it was different somehow, like he understood it better, like the resistance was less than it used to be. The light that always waited for him at the end was brighter, calling to him and he hurried towards it, his entire being propelled forward, reaching out.

As usual it was over way too quickly. He’d hit the wall with all his might, as he’d practiced the day before and for one brief second, merged with the water.

Haru still couldn't grasp it fully but for this occasion, it had been enough.

Looking up at the scoreboard, he traced the names from the bottom up and finally reached the top, where his own resided. He let himself sink back into the water and only when he was fully submerged, allowed the savage grin out. The water was cool around him but he felt like he was burning with joy and satisfaction.

He took a few seconds to glory in the feeling and only when he managed to master himself did he break the surface again. Without hesitation his hands grasped the edge of the pool and he swiftly hauled himself out. It was then that the wall of sound hit him and he almost staggered. It took him a few moments to realize what he was hearing and then he turned around towards the pool again, peering at the audience. They were cheering him on, clapping, and he bowed, truly grateful for their support. He remained that way for a few moments, feeling like the sound increased even further if that was even possible and then straightened up.

He sketched a little wave before walking out, ready to go through the usual post-race routine only to see his coach first. He was smiling at him, a satisfied look on his face and Haru bowed again, feeling immensely grateful. There was no doubt in his mind that he had the perfect guide in that man in this quest of his.

“Well done.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

Mizushima-san laughed and slapped him on the back, pulling him towards the reporters. “We’re only just starting Nanase, this is a long, difficult road. It’s all right to trip and fall, as long as we get up again.”

The words reverberated in his head during his interviews, and the anti-doping control and even after he’d left the building, ridings towards home again. As long as he got up again, as long as he learned, he thought that he could do it, with all the support he had.

It was in good spirits that he returned to their apartment and a grinning Makoto.

“I’m so happy! You did it!”

He grinned and threw himself into Makoto’s embrace, only to be picked up and twirled around. The pure eruption of joy made him laugh and he held onto Makoto, even after he was put down, not wanting to let go. Their lips met and they exchanged long, passionate kisses, conveying their happiness and feelings and Haru was swept away on a torrent of emotion.

_It’s all right if I fall. I have people who will help me get up._

Makoto cupped his head then, kissing him quickly once and smiled. “I knew you could do it!”

“You all helped.” Haru shook his head. “I could not have done it without you.”

Rolling his eyes, Makoto hugged him again before laughing. “We need that trophy case, it’s beginning to pile up.” Haru blinked because this was somewhat the truth and nodded. “We’ll figure something out. But to more important things. Is there food?”

“Of course there is!” He feigned being affronted but couldn’t hold it for long, then cracked up. “I’ll bring it out while you get comfortable. As usual?” Haru nodded because he didn’t need an explanation for what that meant and went to freshen up. By the time he returned Makoto was waiting for him on the couch and he happily joined him, snuggling up as usual, eyeing the meal hungrily.

“I’m glad I can enjoy this properly.” He grabbed a bowl, then stretched and deposited a small peck on Makoto’s cheek. “Thank you.” Not wasting any more time he got down to eating, both of them emitting small sounds of enjoyment.

“This is from that same place you used during Nationals, they really are good.”

“They truly are.” He exchanged his empty dish for a full one, then groaned around a bite of tender meat with a divine sauce. “I have got to try and make this for us once. Oh and Makoto,” he tried looking stern but was failing spectacularly considering he was smiling, “do try to cook some while I’m away too. This is inviting but it’ll do you good.”

“I intend to!”

Haru was busy chewing again so just raised an eyebrow and Makoto flushed, before shrugging. “I know it’s tempting, I’m sure there’re going to be nights when I’ll order in because I’m too tired but I will try to do some cooking too. It’s summer so the dishes will be light, should make it easier.” He laughed after that, making Haru blink in confusion. “Plus, Nagisa is also staying in Tokyo while you two are off. I imagine we’ll dine together at least a few times.”

“That’s probably an understatement, knowing her.” Haru was grinning now as well because he hadn’t thought of it but Nagisa would definitely make sure she spent some time with Makoto while Haru was away. She was just that kind of a caring person.

“You should have seen her today.”

“Oh?” He leaned over to grab his glass of mineral water but kept his eyes on Makoto.

“She had been truly happy for you when you won Nationals, you know that.” Haru nodded so he continued. “Of course, she was so thrilled for Akira today too, considering he won against the man who’d beaten him consistently during last summer. Not to mention that Shiro managed to join us, so she could share her joy with him.”

Makoto paused to grab another bite and Haru nodded. “Akira was quite pleased, we got a chance to talk a bit on our way back, and he said he hadn’t expected to do so well.”

“She said as much. But you really should have seen her when she saw you win. I thought she’d run down to the pool and drag you out for hugs, she was so excited.”

Haru was aware Nagisa cared for him but that was so nice to hear. After all, her brother was competing as well and to know she was also that excited for him mattered. “I’m happy.”

Makoto laid a kiss on his lips then, smiling but didn’t comment. “She was infuriated by that man’s interviews. I didn’t want to tell you much about it these past few days, not to burden you but she said the victory was extra sweet. I have to agree. You remember Kitajima-san?”

Haru blinked at the sudden apparent shift of the conversation but indicated that he did indeed. How could he forget, when he had seen the man just an hour or so ago, giving yet another interview.

“He was on his feet too. I think everyone was so glad you won, nobody liked that man’s statements. Oh, do you mind if we turn on that program? I know it’s running during the Invitational and I’d like to see the interviews.”

The food suddenly tasted a tiny bit less delicious but he stretched to grab the remote anyway, passing it on to Makoto who flipped to the right channel. As luck would have it, they had stumbled right onto the middle of an interview Kitajima-san was having with that damnable person who’d started it all with his rude comments.

“I knew this morning when I realized I wasn’t feeling at the top of my game that this might occur. When I’m not fully fit, especially for a race as short as 50m free, this sort of thing happens but I am sure that I’ll be just fine tomorrow. The 200m is my favourite and best discipline too so I fully expect to be back in first place.”

Apparently, he had decided to push through in the same vein and Haru frowned.

“Did he just say you only won because he wasn’t feeling well?”

“Yes.” He grabbed more food and then shrugged at Makoto’s outraged expression. “I’m not surprised at this point.”

“I can’t believe him! He’s shameless!”

Haru put away his plate for a second, then grabbed Makoto’s head and kissed him with all the passion he could muster. When they finally parted, they were both panting heavily but Makoto’s eyes were pleasantly glazed over and his ire gone, his mind distracted by better things.

“I’m not happy myself but he has just given me even more motivation for tomorrow. 200m is my best discipline too.” He smiled at Makoto’s frown, then got his food again. “I know, it doesn’t seem that way now but I think in the end, that is how it will turn out to be.”

“You know yourself best, so I’ll go with your instinct.” He pecked Haru’s lips and they both turned their focus onto the television again, where this time Haru’s face could be seen. He was thanking his coach and all the people who supported him, including the fans, and was saying that he hoped he would continue to justify their trust. It had been a short one and soon Rin’s face replaced him, he’d come in second in his race, after winning the one before that, and though he was obviously fired up to correct that, he was happy too. Haru was glad for him.

“Here’s hoping that tomorrow turns out just as well.” Makoto’s voice interrupted his musings and he smiled and they clinked glasses.

He fully intended to make sure it happened.

~~

Makoto sat down and grabbed his phone, going through his contacts.

They’d gotten carried away last night after dinner, Haru had snuggled up to him and they’d exchanged caresses and gentle words before retiring and cuddling for a long while. Makoto knew by then that it was important for Haru and he enjoyed the intimacy as well, so he would never have turned him down. In Haru’s own words, being an octopus was just what he needed then and they had eventually fallen asleep, completely intertwined, Makoto holding him as close as possible.

That meant they had forgotten to call Haru’s mother and now Makoto was searching for her name, determined to talk to her as Haru had had to rush off. He supposed it wasn’t a huge issue considering he’d won and she wouldn’t have been as anxious as the previous days but still. It was Sunday so he wouldn’t be interrupting anything and he let the phone ring.

“Makoto to the rescue.”

He laughed then because he could hear the smile in her voice and knew she didn’t feel bad that he was only calling now. “Nanase-san. We’re truly sorry.”

“It’s all right, no need to apologize. I kind of expected it, when I saw he won.”

“He wanted to call, it is just that…” He paused, unsure how to explain that one but she rescued him, laughing.

“Don’t worry, I understand. It was way more important he called after that unfortunate race, yesterday was a relief, I know how that is.”

“Haru had to rush off, he still has another race today or he would have contacted you himself. He said he would tonight but I thought I’d call now anyway.”

“Thank you Makoto.” Her voice had gone soft and he blushed, glad that she couldn’t see him but happy he’d made the right choice. “It’s also probably better you called, I will get a straight answer at least. How is he? I was so worried the other day.”

He frowned, it must have been truly difficult for her. He could at least be with Haru but she was miles away, confined to a television screen and a phone call. “He’s good, please do not worry.” Her sigh of relief was audible, so he decided to explain further, knowing Haru wouldn’t mind. “His coach was really great, he worked with him right away to give him a confidence boost and brought in a sports psychologist too.”

“Oh! That was smart, I didn’t think he’d do that.”

“Yes, they had suggestions for Haru, things they’d be working on in the future too but it’s already helped. And more importantly, he’d handled it well too. Haru respects him a lot but I think he truly trusts him now, after this.”

“I’m so glad to hear it, thank you for telling me. I cannot help but worry. It’s good to hear he’s in the right hands.”

“He truly is. I know I’m just learning to be a coach but I feel like this was the perfect way to approach Haru.”

“I trust your instincts Makoto and you know Haru the best, so thank you for telling me. I feel much better now.”

They talked some more, Makoto answering her questions about Nagisa who she was sad to miss and laughing about how good it had been to watch Haru win, then grumbling together about the interview that she had also seen. She was determined not to miss a thing about her son so had been following every sports show and buying newspapers much like Makoto had been. He was glad to share with her his confidence that Haru would do well that night too, and finally hung up, both of them in good spirits.

No sooner had he put away his phone, thinking about airing out the bedroom, when it rang again. This time it was Matsushita who was raving about Haru and revenge and Makoto had almost ended up crying with laughter because apparently he’d watched the race with Himura and they were both cheering Haru on, Himura especially fired up and that never mixed well with someone who was accident prone. They were planning on repeating the experience that night, Makoto making Matsushita promise to put the drinks at a safe enough distance that time.

Finally he managed to get to the bedroom, his spirits high and he flung the window open, letting the summer air in, before making the bed and then sorting out their laundry. He had plenty of time so he put it to wash and then wandered over to the kitchen, intent on making himself a light lunch. He hadn’t lied to Haru when he said he did want to cook too, though he suspected the temptation would be a bit higher with him gone. For now at least he decided to try one of the things he’d found in one of Haru’s many cookbooks. Really, as far as he could tell, they were multiplying by themselves by then. Not that he was complaining, considering how well they ate.

The food actually turned out to be a success, he had even succeeded in frying that bit of meat without burning himself, or the kitchen for that matter, and he ate with gusto, feeling accomplished. By the time he was done, and had cleaned up the dishes, he had enough time for a quick shower so he jumped in, enjoying the relaxing water before getting dressed and heading out.

He was meeting Nagisa as the previous days, both of them about to begin their last week off for quite some time, and thinking of that, he made a slight detour and got them a couple of popsicles to enjoy before they entered the pool.

She waved when she saw him and then jumped in glee when he waved the treats at her, grabbing for hers with a huge grin on her face.

“You know Makoto, I think I may have to steal you from Haru.”

He laughed, shaking his head, then unwrapped his and took a bite. “Strawberry banana, one of my favourites.”

“That’s a good one, though this is much more to my liking!” She bit into her own and moaned. “Lemon and strawberry, now we’re talking.”

“I thought about getting us chocolate but it’s summer and something more refreshing seemed in order. Though, I supposed I could have mixed it up.”

Nagisa just laughed at him, then grasped his arm and guided them into the shade. He could definitely see the appeal of that as it was truly hot. It was going to get even more unpleasant soon, he envied Haru that he’d be out of the city for that.

“How is Haru?”

Makoto blinked at her mention of him, just as he was thinking about Haru too and then smiled. “Good. I think this may turn out to be a really good thing for him in the end.”

“Is that so? I saw the interview by you know who last night, I am guessing you two did as well?” Makoto nodded in confirmation, busy with his ice-cream so she went on. “I was so furious. Akira was furious! I’ve never seen him so mad. I can only imagine how Haru’s feeling.”

“He’s not happy, let me tell you but Mizushima-san has been talking to him. It’s good he didn’t blame him for the events during that finish but instead took the time to lay out how it can be avoided in the future. The rest, well…” Makoto sighed, looking up into the canopy, the branches gently swaying in the slight, welcome, wind. “I think Haru has a lot of drive for the things he is interested in, that he desires. He’s almost single-mindedly focused on them. I probably don’t even need the almost in that sentence. But when he swims he needs to be calm and relaxed. These things can clash and I think he’s learning how to accept and work with that.”

“Haru always seemed to me to be calm on the outside while things churned deep down. It’s easy to let things over-flow then if there’s a build-up.”

“It was worse when we were young but it’s getting better now I think. His coach has got some help too. It’s why I told you this may turn out to be great for him. This is still not the big scene yet he’s learning and improving in some truly important areas. Mental state is just as important as the physical one for an athlete. I think people see Haru and think he’s cold but he’s not.”

“If anyone knows, you do.” She smirked at him and he flushed.

“Nagisa!”

“I have to tease you a little, if I don’t, who will?” She laughed, leaning into him and he hugged her to his side. He may be embarrassed frequently in her presence but he would not change it for the world. Grumbling a bit for show, he wrinkled his nose at her.

“Rin, that’s who.”

“Ha! Now there’s someone who is all fire, inside and out!”

“I’d be worried if he were quiet.” He licked the last of his sweet and looked mournfully at the little stick, then sighed and threw it away. Nagisa was quietly laughing at him, then quickly finished her own and took his arm once again, leading him towards the building.

“Come on Makoto, let’s go watch those three. Time to cheer.”

He definitely agreed with that and they found their seats easily, the way already quite familiar. Makoto had just sat down, playing nervously with the water bottle in his hands, when a throat was cleared behind him. Looking up he blinked, then stood up and bowed. “Kitajima-san.”

“Ah! You know my name!”

The man grinned and Makoto went red. He was in it then, so had to continue. “Yes, well, Haru and I watch your show and of course, he’s mentioned you.”

“How delightful!” He seemed to be bubbling over at that point, making Makoto smile and relax a bit.

“I saw you with Nanase-san during the Nationals, so please excuse my rudeness, for approaching you. This is off the record of course.” Makoto approved of the man’s discretion as he was certain he knew full well he was also with Haru.

“It’s perfectly fine. Ah, Tachibana Makoto, pleasure to meet you.”

“Pleasure is mine, Tachibana-san. I was wondering, how is Nanase-san?” He had an expectant look on his face and Makoto had to bite his lip for a second, to prevent himself from laughing. Of course it was Kitajima-san who had had that unfortunate interview last night and Makoto could not fault him for his question. He was itching for Haru to go too, that much was plain to see.

“He’s in good spirits, I think it’s going to be a good night.” Not wanting to jinx it, he smiled sheepishly. “At least I hope so.”

“So do I, Tachibana-san.” They grinned at each other, then Makoto complimented the man’s show again, saying he’d watched the special about the female swimmers just recently and they chatted for a while, Makoto explaining that though he used to swim, he’s turned to coaching children but of course, swimming was still his sport and always would be. This got the journalist talking and he mentioned how he wished they had an even more organized way of training kids and teens. He’d spent some time abroad and got a good look at various systems and ever since, it had stuck with him.

Makoto thought they probably would have gone on for quite some time but the official announcer’s voice rang out just then and they had to stop. They took their seats then, Nagisa smiling at him.

“Always smart to be nice to the press.”

“He’s a nice man. I do watch his show, even when Haru’s not with me.” He then smiled back, lowering his voice. “It is though, especially as Haru’s a bit reluctant.”

“He’s doing quite well. I’ve seen his interviews. He’s not as out-going as Akira or shark boy but on the other hand, it seems to be working for him. He has amassed quite a bit of fans after all.”

“Eh?”

“Honestly Makoto. Since he’s not going to do it, then you might as well. I’ll send you some links for the biggest online swimming places and boards, also a few smaller ones I check out for Akira once in a while. It’s good to keep your ear out.”

“Rin is, I know that. He’s talked to us about some things he’s read.”

“I can imagine which, I’ve seen it too.” She frowned, then shrugged. “They’ll shut them up in time, I am certain but you really should take a look.”

“Thank you Nagisa, I think I will.” He was determined to, now that she’d talked to him some about it. It seemed like a good idea plus he also wanted to check out how people were reacting to Haru being an out athlete. There hadn’t been any particular reaction so far, but he was a new name on the scene and it was yet to be determined how the sponsors would react. The couple of offers he’d had and took so far were fairly standard but neither one was any of the huge names. Makoto hoped it’d give him a better glimpse of what might be in Haru’s future once the results started coming in too, as he was sure they would be.

“I’m glad Akira is swimming first of the men’s races tonight, let me tell you.” Makoto let go of that for now and refocused on her. She didn’t seem too cheerful and he wasn’t sure what was wrong. “Oh it’s that he wasn’t in the best frame of mind. It’s his biggest problem. He doesn’t believe he can win sometimes and then of course, he doesn’t. It’s self-defeating. Mizushima-san’s working with him on it, so hopefully by the time the big one comes around, it won’t be a problem.” She sighed and he patted her shoulder, wondering how much of this was connected to their parents. He couldn’t ask of course but from what Haru had told him, more than likely quite a bit. It wasn’t truly surprising and he wished that they’d been spared that.

It wasn’t enough that they were unsupportive but the consequences of it all hampered Hamasaki even when they weren’t with him.

The swimmers filed out then, and after the usual introductions, they were off the start blocks. Makoto cheered hard but it was much like Nagisa had predicted. He’d come in second though, neck and neck with the third place, and Makoto hoped that battling it out for the second until the very finish would end up being a confidence boost. He said as much to her and she sighed.

“I hope so. It could have been worse too, last summer was not the best. Here’s hoping it’s a sign of better things to come.”

“He’s working really hard, it’s going to be all right.”

“Sometimes that’s not enough.” Her eyes were sad, and Makoto wished he knew what to say but she shook herself out of that mood and bumped his shoulder with her own. “I hope it will be though. And no more maudlin words, this was good, no reason to think it won’t get better. Now to wait!” She clapped her hands, and he accepted the change in subject, knowing it had to be hurting her.

They spent some time cheering everyone on, Makoto constantly checking the race schedule as if he could make it move faster. In the end Nagisa growled at him and he shrugged.

“I can’t help it. I always get so nervous. It’s twice as much today I think, due to it all.”

She just patted his knee then and engaged him in conversation about the backstroke race that was going on. He was grateful and actually managed to get into it enough to forget his anxiousness at least for a while. The races went on and soon they were watching the women that preceded Rin’s race and then it was his turn. Makoto cheered as he always did and then laughed along with Nagisa when Rin waved enthusiastically at the audience. He sure knew how to get them fired up and they recalled that he must be feeling well when he was at his usual boisterous self. They turned out to be correct because he ended up winning his race. It was close but he’d edged out his closest opponent in the final ten meters.

He’d popped out of the pool like a bullet then and Makoto cracked up, getting up and clapping and waving, Nagisa joining him with much of the audience. He was quickly becoming a fan favourite, there was no doubt about it. This time there were no texts from Sousuke but he had to be lurking somewhere and watching him, as Mizushima-san was with Haru. Thinking it did no harm, he fired off one of his own and soon enough got an enthusiastic reply from the man, obviously bursting with pride over Rin.

That feeling helped carry him to the final race of the program, Haru’s discipline. Makoto was on pins and needles.

“I think everyone’s pretty anxious over this one.”

Makoto agreed, because there was certainly a strange undercurrent of tension in the stands. Nobody liked a poor show of sportsmanship and when it was aimed at the hosting crowd, it made the matters that much worse. Makoto honestly couldn’t understand how that man’s coach hadn’t stopped him but then there was always the possibility he encouraged such mentality, or maybe couldn’t even control him if he didn’t. This wasn’t something Makoto understood but he was aware it happened.

In any case, everyone was jittery and he could even see people craning their necks, and getting up to try and spot if the athletes were coming out. It didn’t take long though and soon they showed up. There was a polite applause for everyone, the crowd’s understanding of fair play at a high level to Makoto’s internal satisfaction but there was no denying that Haru’s name drew out the loudest cheers.

They were soon almost ready and being called to the start.

Makoto couldn’t recall that he’d ever seen this number of people collectively holding their breaths. When the buzzer sounded, it was as if a giant torrent was released and the sound surged along with the athletes.

Haru was in lane five, closer to him than his opponent who was in four, and Makoto’s eyes were glued to him, and them. They’d set out quickly, faster even than he’d anticipated and by the time they were approaching half way he couldn’t help but glance at the scoreboard and the time running. They were set to go around the same mark as Haru’s Nationals race and Makoto clenched his hands, wondering if that was smart. There was nothing to be done though and he just yelled out encouragements, supported by Nagisa and most of the people there.

They were neck and neck when they hit the wall on the final turn and Makoto was sure that this was going to be like that until the very end.

Except Haru seemed to have other ideas.

Makoto jumped up, Nagisa following him.

“Go Haru, go!”

His voice had no impact among the almost deafening noise but paid no mind, much like everyone else at the pool. The stands were boiling just as much as the water, where Haru had swam ahead, clearly first. It was a done deal at that point but Makoto’s heart was still beating wildly and his hands pumped up, fists clenched when Haru finally slapped that wall.

His eyes flew up and he threw his arms around Nagisa, pointing up. “National Record! He’s done it!” She grinned and hugged him back, both of them cheering. His eyes flew back to the pool and he saw Haru was still in the water, both of his hands resting on the edge, his head down, hair in his face.

_He really needs that haircut._

He laughed then at the absurdity of his own thoughts at a moment like that, and then proudly smiled when Haru finally got out of the pool. He’d turned around now towards the crowd, as was becoming his custom, and bowed deeply.

Makoto would swear later the top of the building almost flew off from the cheers, clapping and foot stomping. There was just something that drove people to seek fairness and when things got corrected, it made them all the more happy and excited. Haru had finally straightened up, and gave everyone a shy wave, Nagisa cackling about swooning teens, and then got escorted out by more thunderous applause.

When Haru had asked him later what the irritating guy did, Makoto honestly could not tell him because he’d seen no one but Haru at that moment.

Later that night they were cuddling again on the couch, the television turned on, waiting for the usual show, food again in front of them. This time Makoto was laughing and feeding Haru who had claimed victory rights.

“You are so, so spoiled.”

“I thought we’ve established that.” He opened his mouth for more and Makoto chose some meat then, followed by more veggies.

“I feel the need to repeat it because I love spoiling you.” He pecked Haru’s lips and then leaned in for a long one because Haru’s hand was tugging at his neck, demanding more. He supposed there were all sorts of hungers and they have been keeping their hands to themselves in the past days.

“I’m not going to complain.” He chewed on another bite, then smiled shyly. “Though I like taking care of you too.”

Makoto couldn’t resist and kissed him again, that smile as always disarming him completely. He moaned, feeling happy then stole another quick kiss before bringing their attention back to food. “It’s going to get cold if we carry on like this.”

“We can always warm it up.” Haru nodded wisely but then behaved anyway. They were making great progress when the show started and Makoto was humming around a dumpling when Haru’s face popped on screen.

“Nanase-san,” a quite familiar journalist was asking on the screen, making Makoto smile as he remembered their conversation, and how the man had congratulated him, as he had left the stands. “Congratulations on an incredible race. These past few days have been quite eventful, what can you tell us?”

Makoto winced, as those broad questions were those that Haru disliked the most and he peeked at the face next to him. To his surprise, Haru wasn’t upset, but was looking at the screen intently so he returned his own attention to it, wondering what had been said.

“Thank you very much.” Haru bowed lightly, his hair again in his face. Makoto was sure he was using it as a shield just then but it looked pretty dashing so it was all right. “I feel like I’ve learned a lot in the past few days. Mistakes are to be expected but with the help of my coach and everyone around me, they become tools for improvement. I want to thank everyone who made this possible.”

A startled laughter erupted out of Makoto and he looked at Haru in wonder.

“You just thanked that guy too!”

“I know.” He smiled, shrugging. “I don’t think I would have reached this level so quickly if all of this hadn’t happened at once.”

“He only has himself to blame for his big mouth!”

“If he understands the message, that is.” This time it was a small, sly smile that graced his mouth, and Makoto snickered.

“Oh, I love you so much.” The smile morphed into a big, delighted one and Haru wound his arms around Makoto’s neck.

“You do, do you?”

“Yes, yes I do.” Makoto was looking at him, his heart overflowing, his hands rubbing Haru’s back. “I do indeed.”

“That works out then.”

“Does it?”

Haru’s eyes were sparkling and he nodded. “It’d be really lonely if it were just me.”

Makoto kissed him then, long and slow, and oh so tender, because nothing touched him like these moments when Haru would confess his own feelings. He knew how Haru felt, had been told, and yet every time it was somehow more. Maybe because through everything they were becoming more. He wasn’t even sure himself if he was making sense but it was his own head so it was all right, he understood and he knew Haru did too.

“Not just you.” He murmured close to Haru’s lips, then brushed them with his own again. “Together.”

Haru nodded, kissing him again and they exchanged caresses until the need for more would not be denied and then moved to the bedroom where Haru claimed victory rights yet again, before pushing Makoto to the bed.

They were almost asleep, completely tired but sated and happy, Makoto cuddling Haru as usual, when he remembered they’d forgotten to call Haru’s mother. Again.

He decided to let Haru handle the call tomorrow, including the explanations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, this was a monster of a chapter, hope you all enjoyed it, as I had fun writing it, most of all for the development of both the plot and the characters, hopefully.
> 
> The actual mistake Haru made is something that does happen, you learn to charge the wall when young. It doesn't seem like a big mistake and it is easily fixed. This little mistake though, which was inspiration for Makoto's words, happened in an Olympic final no less, losing the swimmer the gold medal. He never got another chance. I kid you not. I am not that cruel though, to put Haru in that position. The jerk swimmer is my imagination working overtime to fit my plot points.


	31. Chapter 31

#  Chapter 31

 

Makoto stared at a row of women’s scarves, wondering which would be the best for Nagisa. As they had agreed, they were going to dinner to their place, to celebrate everything together and since he’d never been, he of course had to bring something.

At first he thought about taking them some Jasmines but then decided against it. He was reluctant to engage in this ritual with flowers with anyone else but Haru. He had though it stupid but confessed to Haru anyway who apparently hadn’t thought it so, considering he’d kissed Makoto silly for it. They’d grinned like fools at each other for a while after then Haru suggested they simply get a nice scarf for Nagisa as his mother had suggested when he’d asked, and maybe some chocolates for the house.

Thinking it was a good idea, he’d agreed and that’s how he found himself at that very spot. Choosing one wasn’t that easy but he’d remembered at the last moment they’d seen Nagisa in red several times, which narrowed it down to either something of that colour or complimentary to it. He wished Haru had been with him because, quite remarkably so, he seemed good at things like this but Haru was stuck at the club, finishing up the last of the paperwork for his imminent trip.

In the end he chose something in black and white. Going with anything else seemed like a really bad idea plus he really liked that one. He hoped it was something she could use. Paying for it and receiving it nicely wrapped up, he walked out of the store finally, the young sales clerk smiling widely at him. Makoto was pretty sure she had thought he had bought it for his girlfriend and found the whole thing quite funny.

That though brought his thoughts back to his boyfriend.

Haru would be going soon and Makoto was wondering if he could get something for that trip too, something for all the trips. He knew Haru liked being with him but that was simply not going to be possible most of the time, even if by some luck Rin was right and he could accompany him to Rio. This made him pause and he almost laughed out loud. He’d started taking it for a sure thing that Haru would qualify to go, Rin’s confidence was contagious.

That aside, he was definitely going to Europe and then Australia, followed by Korea just in that year alone and Makoto wanted to send a little something with him.

The mall seemed like a perfect place to look for something like that, so he strolled around hoping something would catch his attention. Makoto had plenty of time so went through some of the clothing stores first and though he picked up a pair of light trousers for himself, the ones he had were too old and he figured he’d need some in case he had to do anything for the club, he found nothing for Haru. The bookstore was also a bust as a cookbook was not something that’d be useful, and any other novel would be something Haru’d get through quickly enough. He wanted something permanent.

He also almost missed it.

Stopping at the last moment, he backed up and then grinned.

Black and white seemed to be the colours of the day.

~~

“Stop fussing.”

“Ties are not my thing.” Haru pouted and Makoto bent his head to kiss it away. It was simply too distractingly cute or that was his reasoning.

“You can loosen it a little later, it’ll be hot.” He thought that it’d be hot in more ways than one but didn’t want to think about it too closely right then. They had to leave soon if they were to avoid being late and thoughts of playing with Haru and ties were not helping.

Haru grinned at him mischievously, as if he could guess what he was thinking and Makoto shrugged. He probably could, considering how they were but it was hardly as if Haru didn’t feel the same. Makoto tapped his nose in admonition and laughed. “Behave.”

They did finally manage to leave the apartment, Makoto mock grumbling how the only reason he was holding hands with Haru was to keep his hands occupied, making Haru snicker and waggle the fingers of his free one at him. The train was their choice of transport for the night, as they didn’t really feel like splurging on a taxi so they pushed their way through the evening crowds. They had to change lines on one point, so waited for their connection only to have Haru stopped for an autograph. Makoto smiled as he handled it better than the first time but there was no denying he still found it funny, if his blinking was to go by.

He also wondered if he should use his new found interest in the online community and social media to see if this would pop up anywhere. Nagisa had come through as she promised and sent him some places to start with but it hadn’t taken long for him to start poking around on his own. He’d signed up for Twitter under an alias, then once gaining permission from Haru, though he wasn’t even sure Haru knew what they were talking about, signed him up under his real name, as most athletes seemed to have one. He had also made Haru promise he’d sit down with Makoto before he left to see how it all functioned but Makoto wasn’t sure he’d be able to follow that one through. He did manage to find Rin’s account, who had quite a few followers already and seemed to be a frequent poster.

He’d also discovered mentions of himself, and even a photo or two, from some of their outings.

That had thrown him for a loop. He’d expected maybe a mention or two, but not that and definitely not quite a few girls saying how cute they were. Of course, there were more than a few less than complimentary comments but somehow those he had expected. They still made him sad that people would care how they lived their lives but it was simply something they had to deal with. The positive attention was a surprise and he still hadn’t decided what he thought of it. When he’d told Haru he’d taken it pretty placidly, saying how they were cute so it was only natural. Makoto had laughed then, thinking that was probably the right attitude to take.

Their train finally arrived then and it wasn’t as crowded as he feared so they reached their destination without actually being particularly sweaty or grimy. Haru lead the way, and Makoto felt like his eyes were getting wider and wider as they moved through the gated entrance and then to the apartment itself.

“It’s really nice.”

“Wait till you see the inside.” Haru grinned, as he rang the bell. “I want something like this for us one day. Or maybe a house.”

Makoto wanted something like that too for them in the future and it was really amazing how Haru spoke of it with such certainty, that they’d still be together in years to come. He didn’t want to get emotional just then and he just quickly nodded in affirmation, a large smile on his own face.

Of course Nagisa chose that moment to answer the door and laughed. “You two, I swear.” She shook her head then motioned them in. “Welcome!” She led them into the living room and Makoto presented her with the gift. She loved the scarf, giving them both big hugs, including a peck on the cheek which made them blush. Haru looked around, then pointed to a door.

“We are having dinner there right?”

“That’s rude!” Makoto startled but Haru just huffed at him.

“Wait till you see it. Then you can tell me if you’d want to dine in here, especially considering what a nice night it is.”

“It’s all right Makoto, I did promise little brother here we’d have dinner outside plus he’s right. Come on, have a look.”

She opened the large glass door and Makoto thought how he was probably gaping though in this instance, it was completely warranted. All of Haru’s explanations that they had a proper garden on their terrace really didn’t do the place justice especially as they had a sort of wooden canopy that various crawlers were using to latch onto, making it green and full of flowers.

“We’re having dinner here.” It was out of his mouth before he could control himself and Nagisa and Haru laughed at him.

“Of course we are. It is beautiful, isn’t it? It’s my pet project.”

“It’s gorgeous.”

“Ah, so they’ve shown you our little hide out.” Hamasaki finally joined them and they exchanged greetings, though Makoto had trouble tearing his eyes away from all the plants. Nagisa finally simply grabbed him by the arm and showed him around, discussing various flowers with him. There were quite a few that he didn’t recognize and he truly wished they too had the space for something like this.

“I started it during my first year at University.” She smiled at him, her finger caressing one of the deep green leaves. “It had been quite stressful, especially because I was still swimming at that point and one day I just decided I needed an outlet. One of our family friends has gardens that I always loved and with all this room, I thought I’d try. It turned out to be just what I needed. It’s relaxing tending to them, and just sitting or eating here.”

“You’d be hard pressed to get me to eat inside during the summer!”

“It’s great for late night dinners but it’s also really nice during spring or early autumn. There’s something about it raining while you’re relaxing here with a glass of wine.”

Makoto could imagine it, and he was hard pressed not to start begging her there and then to invite him over again, preferably tomorrow. She laughed then, because he apparently had no poker face. “You are so going to come back and I think sooner rather than later, especially considering how those two are about to leave.”

Only then did he notice that Haru had gone off somewhere with Hamasaki, he had been so engrossed that he’d missed that.

“Don’t worry, Akira had just dragged him into the kitchen. Hopefully they’ll manage to stop themselves from trying another recipe because food was almost done when you arrived and I am so hungry already.”

Makoto wasn’t so sure considering how Haru was, and now it seemed Hamasaki loved to cook too but crossed his fingers as he was also ready to eat. As the heat had set in over the city, he’d found his eating habits had turned from being able to stomach just a light lunch to being ravenous in the late evenings, as the temperatures fell. He had no idea how Haru kept packing it away even in the middle of the day but he guessed it was simply the training.

“Nagisa, want to set the table?” Hamasaki poked his head out what was probably the kitchen, and she quickly went to join him. Makoto followed along and snickered when he found Haru stirring one of the pots.

“You just cannot resist.”

“Akira is a really good cook.” Haru mumbled, his entire attention focused on whatever was in there and Makoto just looked at him fondly. He spotted Nagisa trying to balance the plates and hopped over to grab some from her.

“You’re our guests Makoto.”

“Please. You’ve adopted Haru and I come along with him. Now give me those.” He was bold saying those words but that was how she, and her brother both, acted and he thought he wasn’t pushing the lines. He was sure he wasn’t when she stood on tiptoes before tugging at him to bend down too, so she could peck his cheek again. He helped her set the table and the other two brought the food out, Hamasaki also bringing in the wine.

“It smells wonderful!” Makoto inhaled deeply and then looked around once more. It was truly an incredible setting for the evening.

“Hope it tastes half as good.” Hamasaki joked and they laughed, Haru assuring him that it would. “All right, let’s open this baby.” He got the bottle and then the opener and soon had the cork out, with the others clapping. Pouring them all a glass, he left it to the side, before grabbing his own. “A toast, Nagisa?”

“Definitely!” She cleared her throat before lifting her glass. “To Makoto, and the incredible accomplishment of both getting the full scholarship and managing to snag one of the coveted Ryuujin internship spots after only his first year!”

“To Makoto!” They clinked glasses, and Makoto could feel himself blushing. A tiny part of him wondered why it mattered he’d just finished his first year but then he took a sip of the wine and all such thought left his head. It was simply put divine and he let out a small moan.

“Ah! It’s incredible, isn’t it?” Hamasaki was looking at him while smiling and Makoto could only nod. “Another thing grandfather taught us is how to appreciate a proper wine. We can’t have it too often but for on occasion like this, I was not breaking open anything less than this.”

Makoto could see Haru’s almost blissed out face from the corner of his eye and giggled, but Nagisa was raising her glass again.

“To Akira and to Haru, and their great achievements during the Invitational.”

They clinked glasses again, Nagisa poking Haru about being nice this time and ignoring the little matter of not hammering that pad properly which had made him blush and everyone laugh. “You did manage to destroy him in the end, so all’s forgiven!”

Makoto then raised his glass again and everyone looked at him.

“To Nagisa of course, and her immensely successful completion of this year and getting that splendid place in one of the Tokyo hospitals!”

“Makoto!”

“You did just as well as the rest of us, stop being modest.”

“He’s right, big sister. Get used to us praising you.” Hamasaki smiled and Makoto and Haru quickly agreed with him, making Nagisa tear up a bit. Her brother took great care to treat her right, but from what Haru had told him, she was the older one, and had been taking care of, and worrying about, him for so long, especially considering their parents, that sometimes it was difficult. Makoto was glad that they could at least help Hamasaki with that much, considering how truly wonderful she was.

Not wanting to embarrass her further, they quickly turned to their food. Makoto managed to just sip a bit of soup and he knew instantly that it was indeed going to be great. He kept trying to figure out what Hamasaki had put into it, as it seemed to be a blend of quite a few flavours but in the end gave up and simply enjoyed. The main course was just as good, and they all ate plenty, especially the two swimmers.

“Once you stop training, you are so going to have to watch your weight.” Nagisa raised her eyebrow at her brother and he shrugged. “I’m always going to be active.”

“That’s what so many say and then look at them five, ten years down the line.”

“I’ll always have you to remind me.”

“We need to find you a girlfriend finally so that you’ll make sure of it yourself.”

Haru snickered at that, and Makoto covered his mouth with a napkin because Hamasaki had such a forlorn expression on his face that it was truly funny.

“I’m never going to meet anyone.”

“Don’t be so dramatic Akira. There’s so much time. You’re stuck in water two thirds of the day, and you don’t fancy any of the swimmers. Not that they like you either, but since we’re talking about it.”

Makoto finally laughed, unable to stop himself.

“Hush you.” Hamasaki grumbled but a smile graced his face. “Just you wait. With my luck, I am going to fall for some European girl and then spend the next few years in a long distance relationship where we only see each other once in a blue moon. Then when I finally think we’re close to living together, she’s going to meet some hot Italian guy that’s going to sweep her off her feet and I’ll be left alone and miserable, living at a tiny fishing village, with my wine.”

“Iwatobi’s nice.” Haru remarked before getting more food. “You could do worse.”

“Eh? That’s all you can say about my sad life story?”

“Really, you’ll love it.”

Nagisa was cackling by then, and Hamasaki was pouting and Makoto laughed because only Haru.

“Seriously though, can we go one day, together?”

Makoto looked at Haru, who shrugged. “We just need to dust and air it out.” He nodded then, looking back at the siblings. “Why not, if we can find the time. Haru’s house has the space, we can all go.”

“Excellent, I can see the place where I’ll retire one day then.” Hamasaki said with a straight face and they all snickered, Nagisa patting his arm. Makoto decided he did have room for more after all, so got himself another helping, Hamasaki joining him while Nagisa called it a night, saying that unlike them, she had to take care of her weight. Makoto found it funny as she was a slip of a girl but in his opinion, wisely refrained from commenting. From Gou he knew it was better to just not touch on some subjects.

“Oh! Makoto, did you go looking at some of those places?”

“Yes!” He nodded, then had to swallow first. “It’s really cool, it’s a whole world out there! I’ve even set up a Twitter account for Haru.”

“You have to give me the handle, so that I can follow you.”

“Just his name, nobody had taken it yet, though I think it was a close thing, considering some of the things I’ve seen. I didn’t expect him to have so many fans already. You too Akira, Rin does as well.”

“I’m not surprised, and especially after the Invitational. They are starting to take all of you seriously and Haru’s little performance sure made an impact.” Nagisa was grinning and he had to grin back. It still felt so good, to have that man put in his place. “Anyway, I’m glad you got him an account, now we can follow him.”

“I wonder if I’m ever going to use that.” Haru was trying to decide between two pieces of fish and in the end just gave up and snagged both.

“You are so going to. Especially while you’re in Europe!” She poked him with a finger, making Haru stare and Makoto wondered if she truly realized what she was asking of him. Haru really wasn’t one to do such things.

“Eh?” Indeed he was blinking at her as if she suggested that he would be better off swimming some other style. Or not swimming at all, though it wasn’t quite so drastic.

“It’s important these days, staying in touch with the fans. Just a little message here and there. You can check out Akira’s account, he’s not too into it either but he knows what’s what. It’s going to matter with the sponsors too.”

Makoto giggled then clamped his mouth shut when Haru threw him a glance. “Oh come on Haru, it’s going to be fun.”

“Not really.”

“Oh Haru. You’ll see. It doesn’t have much space for messages so you can keep it short.”

Makoto shook his head, thinking she really hadn’t met this side of Haru yet. He could be unbelievably stubborn. He did hope that the simplicity of the thing would make it easier for him to get used to using it because Nagisa was right that it was normal today for athletes and famous people to use social media.

“You said you’d tell me all about Europe once you get back,” Makoto smiled at him, his hand reaching out to rub Haru’s neck, “so think of this as practice or notes to take.”

“We’ll see.” Haru glanced at him again but he had a thoughtful expression on his face and Makoto took it as a victory. Just getting him to think it over was good enough and he decided a change of the conversation was in order.

“Do you know who you’re rooming with?” He looked at Hamasaki as well and got a shake of his head as an answer, while Haru just shrugged.

“Rin. Mizushima-san asked me this morning if that would be all right.”

“Ah. I missed practice today, had to go and renew my passport, it would have expired right in the middle of our stay otherwise. He’ll probably talk to me on Monday, not that it’s that important, I’m friends with several guys in the club.”

“Did you show Makoto where you’re staying? They got the brochures, I envy them so much.”

Makoto shook his head, they didn’t have the time once Haru had gotten home so she laughed in delight and got up to get them. It didn’t take her long to return and soon they were pouring over the photos and text. It really did look great, and Makoto promised himself to insist on getting the full story out of Haru once he was back.

“Plus you’re also going to travel, it’s not a vacation but you will still have some free time.”

“Just staying in Florence is enough! We’re going exploring Haru, and you can’t say no!”

Haru was done with his food by then and had just taken a sip of his wine, so he just nodded. Makoto knew he was interested in that as well, though he wondered if he should perhaps tell Hamasaki about Haru’s propensity of exploring new bodies of water, no matter how small. Just in case, so he could be prepared. He made a mental note of it, then wiped his own hands on the napkin and sighed happily, relaxing.

They took a little breather then, Makoto enquiring about Shiro, Haru making an inquisitive noise too, only to be told that unsurprisingly, he had work. Makoto really wasn’t sure how he managed all of that, but Nagisa who seemed to be good at reading faces just shrugged. He felt bad for them too because he wondered just how much time they had for each other and then at the same time, thought how lucky he and Haru were. They could have easily ended up in different cities, apart for years, but instead they were even living together as a couple. He couldn’t resist then and reached out, tangling his fingers with Haru’s, smiling. He got an answering smile and knew Haru could guess what he was thinking.

“Ready for dessert?”

They all nodded at her question, and she smiled shyly. “I made it myself, this one is not on Akira.”

“We’ll know who to blame if we get food poisoning then.”

Hamasaki was innocently smiling at her and she smacked him on the arm, before storming off in a huff. When they were sure she was out of ear-range they all softly laughed. “Ah, I love winding her up for a change, usually she’s the one to get me. Over and over again.”

Makoto laughed again because he looked like a sad puppy but it was clear he secretly loved it. They were close, it was more than apparent, and that left him hoping that he would be able to say the same thing one day about his own siblings.

“Here we go.”

He turned towards Nagisa’s voice only to see her walking slowly with a tray with four huge glasses or maybe cups was a better word he thought. Hamasaki stood to give her a hand and soon they each had one in front of themselves.

“Don’t worry about the calories, I know these two are in training so have to take care what they eat but it’s also good for us too Makoto. There’s fruit and well, just try it.”

Makoto thought it looked great and was sure to taste as good, and it turned out even better. He had no idea what half of the things were, but there was indeed a lot of fruit, cream and he thought he detected some ground biscuits and nuts. Slowing down when he was about half way through because he did want to savour it, he finally looked up and saw Hamasaki was even further along than him. Even Haru was quiet though he seemed to hum occasionally, his eyes closed, as if trying to discern the tastes. In the end he simply asked for the recipe, making Nagisa give him a hug.

“It really is great Nagisa, thank you!”

Even Hamasaki had given up his teasing and agreed loudly with Makoto before returning to his treat. She surprised them then by saying there’re seconds and they all laughed but also looked relieved, which just made them crack up even more.

Hamasaki then launched into one of the stories from their childhood, when they’d tried cooking for the first time as kids and how disastrous it had been and of course, Makoto had no choice but tell about his water incident but he also did take the opportunity to tease about Haru’s Mackerel obsession. Nagisa had laughed, teasing him how maybe he should have had his Twitter handle as Mackerel boy.

They traded stories, enjoyed more dessert and went through the whole bottle of wine and some more, before finally calling it a night. It was already way past midnight and they had to call for a taxi.

“I would have taken you but I’ve had a few to drink.” He apologised once again, for what Makoto thought was probably the tenth time, but really, it didn’t matter and they told him so once again.

“We much prefer that we could all enjoy tonight together, don’t think about it, please.”

Haru was cuddling into Makoto by then, but agreed from where his head was resting against Makoto’s arm. “We had so much fun. It was wonderful, thank you both!”

“Instead of thanking us, promise you’ll come again soon.” Nagisa had her hands clasped together in front of herself, a hopeful look on her face.

“Of course we will.” Haru suddenly stepped away, surprising Makoto and gave her a quick hug. She sniffed and pecked his cheek, then hugged Makoto too.

“I draw the line at hugs.” Hamasaki grinned and she slapped his arm.

“Honestly Akira.”

Giggling, they finally said their good byes and just in time too, because the taxi was pulling up as they got to the street. They gave their address, and just relaxed, in silence, Makoto looking out the window at the already sleeping city, Haru dozing and using his shoulder as a pillow.

By the time they finally reached the apartment, Makoto was wondering if he’d end up carrying Haru to the bedroom, he seemed half asleep. They reached the living room when Haru latched onto him, making him pause.

“Haru?”

“Kiss.”

Laughing under his breath, Makoto brought his hands around Haru and pulled him closer, before kissing that mouth. One kiss turned into quite a few, a long, leisurely exploration that made both breathless, pressing even closer.

“I thought you were tired.” He kissed Haru’s temple, hugging him close.

“I’m leaving in a few days.”

They kissed again and Makoto was sure he was holding Haru tighter then but he really couldn’t help it.

“You’re going to have a wonderful time, swim in new places, and get even better.”

“Suffer Rin.”

“Pawn him off on Sousuke when he starts annoying you.”

Haru snickered and claimed another kiss, his fingers playing with Makoto’s hair. “You’ll be busy with the internship.”

“Did we manage to convince each other yet?” Makoto shook his head because they were truly ridiculous. It was just a month. He was still going to miss Haru something awful and judging by how Haru was, he felt the same. It was a full month.

Makoto knew that time apart was good for them and they were certainly going to make the best of it, but he didn’t think it was bad to feel like this either.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“Me too.” Haru sighed, rubbing his cheek on Makoto’s shirt.

“I got you something.”

“Eh?”

“When I was searching for that scarf for Nagisa.” He tugged at Haru’s hand, leading them to the bedroom, before rummaging through the closet, where he’d hidden the present. He had thought to give it to Haru a little later but now actually seemed like the perfect moment. Dangling the bag in front of him, he laughed as Haru grinned then grabbed it.

He peeked into the bag, then peered up at Makoto through his overly long hair, before reaching inside for it and taking it out. He blinked at it for a few moments while Makoto stood, waiting patiently. Raising his eyebrow when Haru turned around to place it on the night table, he wondered what Haru was thinking but then he got caught in a firm hug and smiled. He knew he’d chosen well.

“It’s perfect.” He looked up at Makoto and stretched on tip toes to give him a gentle kiss. “It’s going with me.”

Nodding, Makoto felt his lips stretch into a big smile. He shrugged then cupped Haru’s jaw. “I’ve been thinking about it and as soon as I saw it, I was sure I had it.”

“I can still be an octopus like that.” Haru’s shy smile showed up and Makoto caressed his face, his fingers gently brushing his lips, eyes locked onto that beautiful face.

“My little octopus.”

Cradling Haru’s head, he kissed him slowly, luxuriating in the feeling. Haru’s hands were clutched in his shirt, and soon he moved even closer, pressing his body to Makoto’s as much as he could. One of Makoto’s hands moved to hold him there, settled on his lower back and they stood locked like that, exchanging caresses. Makoto smiled into the kiss when he heard Haru emitting small sounds of pleasure. He never knew how much of a delight would be to experience those, especially as Haru was usually so closed off and yet with him, he responded so eagerly, always making sure Makoto knew somehow how he was feeling.

Makoto finally allowed his hands to move and he carefully undid Haru’s tie, almost giggling at the sigh of relief that got him, then unbuttoned his shirt, his fingers ghosting over Haru’s skin. It was warm and smooth and he pressed his palms into it, groaning from the feeling. Haru didn’t have much hair on his body as it was but when he shaved for the races, it truly was especially silky.

He pushed the shirt off his body, then got rid of his pants as well, before disrobing himself. Haru stood watching him all the while, his eyes roaming Makoto’s body yet not touching. Makoto was pretty sure it drove him crazier that way. He finally stood straight and grabbed Haru’s head, initiating another deep, wet kiss, his tongue mercilessly exploring Haru’s mouth until Haru’s hands were tugging on his shoulders. He chuckled then pushed him towards the bed and Haru scrambled backwards. He had obviously figured out the advantage of that position because he wasted no time in spreading his legs a bit, his hand grasping his own erection and lazily pumping. His eyes were half closed, and Makoto could recognize an invitation when he saw one.

He wasted no time in grabbing what they’d need then took a hold of Haru’s hand and moving it to the side, Haru smirking at him. He knew it drove Makoto crazy when he could watch him like that.

“You know Haru,” he stated conversationally, “I never did get to watch you like that.” He lowered his head and nipped at his lower lip, tugging, before sucking on it. Haru blinked at him, looking gratifyingly dazed, and Makoto continued mouthing at his jaw. “So I was thinking…”

He paused to give Haru’s Adam apple a gentle suck, then moved further down, leaving small bites down his neck. “We did promise to Skype.”

“Eh?”

 “While you’re in Europe.” Makoto sucked at one of Haru’s nipples while playing with the other one and for a few moments he could only hear Haru’s harsh breathing. Feeling playful, he tugged at it. “How about it?”

“Eh?”

“Skype.”

“I don’t…” Whatever he was about to say got lost in a long, drawn out moan, when Makoto kissed down his sternum and then probed at his navel with his tongue. He thrust a few times, one of his hands pushing at Haru’s thigh that moved obligingly, so that he could settle between his legs.

“You were saying.”

“Makoto.” Haru cleared his throat then groaned. “I can’t think.”

He caressed Haru’s inner thigh, one of his hands going over his hips, and then bit gently. He licked at the bite spot a few times, before blowing on it. Makoto could swear he could actually see goose-bumps all over the tender skin and thought that was a good sign, so repeated it a few times.

“It would be fun.”

Haru groaned, his hand fisting in the sheet. “I’m rooming with Rin.”

“Sousuke’s going, I’m sure you can arrange something for an hour or so. Just think about it.” He moved up again, grasping the hard cock in front of him, lazily pumping it. “You could do this then, and I’d watch.” Makoto licked at the head, eliciting another groan, this time of a different nature. “You’d show me exactly how you like it.”

“You already know how I like it.”

“Do I?” He licked the vein on the underside, before sucking just the head into his mouth, his tongue twirling around it, poking at the slit and tasting the precum. Letting it pop out, Haru’s hips twitching under his arm, trying to follow him, he pumped again with a firmer grip this time. “I think you like it when it’s slow and firm,” his hand moved along with his words, “and when you swipe with your thumb over the head every once in a while.” He kept his eyes on Haru’s face that was now flushed and a tiny sheen of perspiration could be seen that extended down over his body. He was getting quite vocal too. “Of course you just love that spot, don’t you?”

Guiding himself by the maxim that all was allowed in love he thought cheating was fine, and swiped his tongue over it, before sucking as much as he could of Haru’s cock. Haru’s body arched at the suddenness of the motion and Makoto hummed, sucking. A long groan was heard above him and he took mercy on Haru, lifting his head and reaching for the supplies.

Quickly lubing his fingers, he rubbed at Haru’s entrance, hoping to get him to relax before gently pressing one finger in. Haru’s hips canted up, his legs spreading even wider and he took it as a green light to move it slowly. Not wanting to waste more time, he stretched him, adding more fingers, playing with his hole. His other hand petting Haru’s hip all the while.

“Now.”

Haru’s voice was firm, one of his hands brushing Makoto’s shoulder and he nodded, even if unsure if Haru could see him, grabbed the condom and quickly putting it on before raising himself up and covering Haru’s body. They kissed, Haru’s arms quickly going around him. Makoto let his weight rest on one of his elbows and guided himself with the other into Haru’s body. They both groaned when he pushed past the first ring of muscle. Haru was already pressing back and Makoto couldn’t stop himself from moving either, until he was fully seated.

He leaned back over Haru, their lips meeting in a wet, sloppy kiss, their bodies unwilling to wait, already moving. Makoto managed to get a slight hold of himself then, and he kept his thrusts as slow as he could for as long as he could. Haru’s arms were roaming his back, but it wasn’t until he scratched him that he lost his composure. The sudden buck of his hips made Haru moan and his legs wrapped around Makoto, his favourite when they were joined like this.

“My little octopus.” Makoto couldn’t help but murmur the same words as just a while ago, the phrase a term of endearment, but one to be shared just between them, they both knew.

Haru nodded, his eyes locking with Makoto’s, his voice rough. “Yours.”

The word pushed Makoto over, desire to claim roaring over him, to affirm it and he drove himself over and over into the willing body beneath him, hard, sharp strokes, driving them both towards completion. Haru smiled, his legs tightening around Makoto, his body welcoming the change of pace.

Makoto was aware that there was no way this could last long, so he shifted his hips until the clenching of the tight passage and Haru’s shout told him he’d found it. Haru’s eyes closed then, his head thrown back and one of Makoto’s hands grabbed his hip before he moved fast, trying to hit that spot every time. He was close, his stomach muscles tight, his entire body as if a coiled spring but he was determined to make Haru fall first.

He lowered his head, his lips next to Haru’s ear, before he thrust one more time.

“Mine.”

Haru’s entire body spasmed and Makoto only managed one more thrust before he was pushed into orgasm too. His brain was flooded with sensation and for a while he just felt the incredible pleasure coursing through his entire body in pulses, shared with the man with him. He managed to raise himself up again and brought their lips together. Haru opened up right away, their tongues meeting and both of them groaned at the intimacy.

Their lips parted and Haru smiled at him, before one of his hands cupped Makoto’s cheek. “I’ll think about it.”

“Eh?”

Haru laughed and shook his head then, drawing Makoto closer and it took a few seconds for him to realize what the talk was about. He joined Haru in laughter then, but he did not intend to forget that. He fully intended to make sure they had a little long distance fun too.

Soon though, he winced at the sweat coating his body and managed to get Haru into a shower. It really was too hot already to go to sleep without fully cleaning up. They were as quick as they could be, even counting Haru’s sudden playfulness and that Makoto couldn’t stop himself from kissing him constantly and soon they were back in bed, covered only with a light sheet.

Makoto settled them into their usual position, his arm going around Haru’s waist.

“It is perfect you know.” Haru’s voice surprised him, he had thought he was already asleep. “My gift.”

He lifted his head and could see that Haru was looking at it, smiling so he laid another kiss on his temple, before settling down again, their fingers intertwining on Haru’s stomach.

“I’m so glad.”

Makoto kissed Haru’s nape then gazed at the now two plushies that rested on the nightstand closer to Haru’s side of the bed, where before only the dolphin sat. Now it was joined by a slightly larger black and white orca, almost as if they too were cuddling together. Haru sighed, and wiggled back and soon Makoto heard his breathing had evened out.

He looked at the animals once again, happy that he’d chosen well and let himself fall into the land of dreams too.

By the time morning came, and Haru had woken him up with kisses, he couldn’t remember the dreams about an orca and a dolphin playing in the blue waters of a calm ocean, playfully chasing each other before breaking the surface and then diving back into the cool depths.

He did know though that he woke up smiling and that Haru was smiling back at him.

He was more than fine with that.

~~

Haru blinked and stared at the mirror.

The man standing behind him still had a wide grin and was nodding. That in itself wasn’t as scary but the scissors he kept brandishing were.

Makoto had offhandedly mentioned to Nagisa that night how Haru kept postponing his hair-cut, teasing him and of course, she’d promptly tugged at his bangs while declaring that Makoto was right. Haru never disputed that, it was just that he was somewhat lazy plus he rather liked being able to hide behind his hair on occasion. Like that of answering reporters for example.

He really had no choice though but to nod at her as she told him he should go to the one Hamasaki used too and not only because the time to his trip was running out but the look she had given him too.

This of course meant it was all her fault that he was in this situation.

“Honestly Nanase-san, some highlights would be perfect. They’d bring out those eyes of yours.” The man continued on, the scissors zooming around Haru’s head as he gesticulated while explaining his idea. “I was also thinking an asymmetrical hair-cut, it’s very popular with the young crowd!”

Haru looked at him silently, hoping that he wouldn’t have to explain just how much he disliked the idea. He wasn’t sure he could. He’d probably end up tripping over his own words because he really did not want anything of the sort. His silent stare seemed to have worked though as the man cleared his throat.

“Ah. Maybe just your usual style then?” He motioned to the photo on the phone that Haru had shown him when he arrived, to his mind the simplest method.

“That would be great, thank you.”

Haru relaxed back and closed his eyes, crossing his fingers too and hoping all would turn out to be fine. Soon enough the sound of snipping could be heard, and he followed the instructions of tilting his head whichever way was required.

Most of his thoughts were aimed at his following destination.

That day at the bookstore when he’d picked up that book he had done it out of simple curiosity. It wasn’t something he’d thought of before but the cover art alone had made him open it up and then he had to see more. Later, as time passed, and he got a few more titles and roamed the internet on occasion, his interest was piqued and he was itching to try.

When Makoto had made him promise to tell him all about Europe, and he certainly wanted to, it would just be difficult for him to do it with words. The idea had finally bloomed in his head then, the two coalescing into one thought, that of trying photography.

He’d turn it around in his head, examining from all angles and he’d decided that he truly wanted to do it.

Of course, that meant acquiring proper equipment, his phone would just not do, and the little commercial camera he and Makoto shared wouldn’t be up to what he needed either. He’d be heading to Akihabara next then, in search of one. He’d found online the store that he wanted to check out so that he wouldn’t wander around aimlessly, and he’d also sorted out what would probably be the best for him at this point in time.

Another thing that was tempting about the whole venture was that if he turned out to be truly terrible at it, he could simply use the typical tourist photos that he was sure anyone could take, to show where he’d been. It was a good excuse for his little venture into this art, for art it was. Haru hoped he would turn out to be at least decent because this was the one new thing that had intrigued him in a long while and after all, he was not bad in painting, so he must have at least somewhat of an artistic streak.

“There we go.”

The words snapped him out of his musings and he looked into the mirror. A small smile showed on his face, as he spied his usual self, though once he turned his head a bit to the side, he did notice the cut was just a tad sharper, bolder. The man was truly an artist of his own trade, even if he had interesting ideas. Who knows, maybe one day he’d actually let him indulge in them. If he got really drunk. Or won the Olympic medal or something.

“Thank you very much,” he bowed quickly, then inquired. “When should I come again? In a few months?”

“Two would be ideal.” His hair stylist beamed at him, then bowed back. “Thank you very much, Nanase-san.” The man threw a quick glance at Haru’s phone that was still resting on the counter, before thanking him again and then excusing himself. Haru wondered if he’d imagined it but then shrugged to himself, and quickly paid before moving on. His new camera was waiting for him.

He found the store easily enough, it was so big that it really would have been difficult for him to miss it and then followed directions to the appropriate department. A helpful clerk soon joined him and Haru explained he wanted a camera, something more than the usual.

“I hope you won’t find me presumptuous, but I recognized you Nanase-san, congratulations on your victories.”

“Ah, thank you.” Haru stumbled over his words, still not used to being recognized, and he certainly hadn’t expected it to happen there.

“The reason why I mentioned it is, I was wondering if you’d be using it for sports photography too.”

Haru opened his mouth to answer then promptly closed it. He hadn’t thought about that at all. He’d certainly have the chance, that was true but he’d thought more about buildings and perhaps a portrait or two. Realizing there was no need to start limiting himself now, when he still hadn’t properly even started, he told her he probably would and then gave her the list of models he thought would cover all his needs.

She walked him through them all and then helped narrow it down to two, Haru just picking the one based on the accompanying equipment that seemed more to his needs, and soon he was off, next stop bookstore, where he happily spent a good bit of time, picking up a couple more books.

The last was the market because he needed quite a few items for the dessert he wanted to make today.

It was Makoto’s first day at Ryuujin, at his summer internship and though it was only orientation, and to meet the other interns, he had still been so nervous the evening before, and that morning. Haru didn’t have practice that day but he’d gone on a run then came back to find Makoto almost at the door, waiting for him. A few kisses later and some cuddling and he’d calmed down. Haru figured everyone needed to be an octopus once in a while, and then had sent him off, already planning for a treat.

He still had plenty of time when he got back home, and putting away his other purchases, he washed his hands then headed straight for the kitchen. A late lunch was on the cards so first he took care of all the preparations, then cracked open his book to have the recipe at hand. It took quite a bit of work, especially when he had to start the actual lunch too but by the time he was done, he felt like it had been worth it. The dessert was in the fridge, the rest either in the oven or under the cover, the table was set, so he hopped into the shower, wanting to wash off the sweat and slight fatigue.

Haru was just putting on a shirt when he heard the key in the door and he quickly padded out, only to see Makoto already in the living room.

“Hey.”

“I’m home.”

He stretched on his toes, his arms going around Makoto’s neck, and planted a loud kiss on Makoto’s lips. “Welcome back. The newly made Ryuujin summer employee.” The shoulders under his hands shook from laughter and then he was being kissed, a bit more insistently, enjoying those big hands that ran down his back in a caress.

“I still can’t quite believe it sometimes.”

Haru smiled because he could hear the wonder in Makoto’s voice. He wanted only the best for Makoto and it seemed like things were looking up.

“How was it? Oh wait, you can tell me during lunch. Go freshen up first.”

Nodding, Makoto tugged at his shirt. “Do you mind if I get a quick shower? I’m starving but I am so sweaty.”

“Of course not, I’ll have time to put everything out then.” He smiled at the speed at which Makoto retreated to the bedroom, wondering if it was to get to the shower, or food, faster. Probably both. He got all the dishes served then, just coming out with a bottle of mineral water when Makoto returned, the smell of his body shampoo permeating the air. Haru inhaled deeply, his senses tingling and he simply intercepted Makoto before he got to his chair, to claim another deep kiss.

Makoto was left blinking in surprise at him but he was also smiling, so he just shrugged, as if to say he simply wanted it. He got drawn back in for another kiss then, and they only stopped when they both moaned simultaneously.

“Not that I would usually mind this turn of events but Haru, I am starving.”

Haru laughed, then poked him into his seat, and filled their glasses before joining him. “I am too. I did nibble a bit to keep me going but that was nothing really.”

“I had a granola bar. It just opened up my appetite.” Makoto looked at the table then and shook his head. “This is a true feast Haru, you shouldn’t have! Thank you for the meal.”

“It was your first day.” He grabbed his soup before smiling. “You’re welcome. Now eat.”

Eat they did, Makoto loudly expressing his appreciation several times but he was half way through his steak and vegetables when he finally spoke up about his day.

“Ah, about Ryuujin. Oh Haru, it’s such a great place!”

Haru just nodded at the proclamation because he didn’t want to interrupt his train of thought. Makoto’s face looked elated though, and he was glad.

“I mean I saw the pool that one time of course and just from that I figured it would be good, but you really have top notch facilities there! They gym alone is amazing! I know you don’t like it but you can’t deny that.” He looked at Haru with a challenging expression and Haru just shrugged. It was the truth even if he disliked having to spend time there. “We are allowed to use it too! Can you imagine?”

At this point he felt like he had to ask a question. “Am I going to come back to a more ripped Makoto?”

“Would you like to?”

Haru wondered for a second if there was some way he was supposed to reply to this question but decided the truth was simply the easiest. “I really like you the way you are now.”

“You’re Haru so I do believe that.”

“Eh?”

Makoto waved him away, grinning. “I’m not going to try and bulk up, I don’t think I’d like it more than this. But I have been thinking about exercise because it’s going to be really difficult to keep to my current schedule. This way it’s going to be easier. Plus I think I’d have too much water time if I both swam with the kids and for exercise.”

“There’s no such thing as too much water time.”

“Not if you’re Nanase Haruka. The rest of us do like a bit of land too.”

Haru was aware he was pouting but really, water was the best. After Makoto of course.

“Don’t pout.” Makoto leaned over and nipped at his lip.

“I will if it gets me that.”

“You’re impossible.” He may have snickered but he did brush their lips together, so Haru figured he won that one.

“Anyway. We met our supervisor, I don’t think you’ve worked with Watanabe-san?” Haru shook his head because though he had met him, they didn’t really interact. He actually mostly handled the backstroke swimmers. “He used to coach teens before moving up, so he’s handling the program. It’s really great too!” Makoto’s hands flew up in the air, and Haru watched in fascination how animated his face became, his eyes shining. “We’ll all be handling groups of four kids at a time, they want all attention paid to them so they’re that small. There will be doctors on hand if they are needed, we were told this had been the case several times so far, due to the nature of the program. Everything has been thought of. I am so lucky to be there!”

“You worked really hard Makoto.”

“I have, I did my best but it still could have gone differently.” He shrugged, making Haru catch his hand and squeeze.Makoto was right, even if he didn’t like it. “I’m happy that it did though.” He grinned at Haru, tightening his own hold.

“Oh! There’s more!”

Haru let go and went back to eating, though still listening attentively.

“Some kids will already know how to swim but most will be non-swimmers. We’ll be teaching them that first but much like we had in our club back in Iwatobi, we’ll have races. And Haru, relay races too.”

“Four kids.”

“Yes! We’ll have to determine as coaches what the best line up is and it’ll start as soon as they’re secure enough in the water. All for fun of course, but it should give them confidence too and build friendships. I can’t wait.”

Haru could definitely see the appeal of it, he remembered he loved those when they were little and the friendships they formed there were still alive and well. He was certain they’d stay in touch if nothing else for the rest of their lives and he was pretty sure that it would be even more than that for a few of them.

“I remember how we were. That’s a great thing.”

“Especially as most of these kids are from poorer backgrounds, it’s an outreach program. I hope they’ll like it.”

“I am sure they will.” He suddenly realized Makoto hadn’t actually mentioned the other students. “How are the other interns?”

“Well,” Makoto paused, taking his glass, “I’ve only really spoken to two of them, though we’ve all been introduced to each other. They seem nice. I think a few of them did the program last year as they seemed to be in some form of friendly competition with each other, joking, you know? I am sure we’ll get to know each other much more later on.”

“The kids come in on Monday?”

“Yes.” He sighed, then grabbed another bite. “Just after I see you off.”

“It just means you won’t be distracted by me.”

Makoto giggled at that. “You are incredibly distracting, that is the truth.”

Haru preened, which only made Makoto giggle harder but he didn’t find anything wrong with that. They finished their meal soon after that, both of them feeling quite full. He rested a few moments, then grabbed the empty dishes, Makoto helping him out. They left them to soak and Haru was about to open the fridge when Makoto stopped him.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice right away! Of course, you got a hair-cut today!” He brushed Haru’s hair off his face. “It’s almost the same but not quite. I like it.”

“You should go see him too. Just ignore the suggestions for highlights and whatever else he might come up with. Unless I win the Olympic gold that is.”

“Eh?” Makoto looked at him in confusion and Haru quickly explained, causing him to howl with laughter.

“Oh, I wish I could have seen your face!”

“Hmph.”

“It’s funny and you know it.” He looked at Haru with a sly look in his eyes before a grin broke out on his face. “If you do win, and you will, how about purple?”

Haru wondered for a second if this was the smart road to take but his mouth got the better of him. “Blue.”

“Blue. Of course it’s blue. You’re Haru.” Makoto kissed him lightly, still smiling. “You’ve got a deal then.”

Deciding it wasn’t worth worrying about, he opened the fridge and pointed. “Dessert?”

Makoto cooed.

Haru pecked his cheek.

“That is just sinful.”

“You can work it off in that gym if you’re worried. Now let me cut a piece for both of us. I can indulge, after all I’m off in a few days and it’s a special occasion for your first day.”

Makoto eagerly nodded and soon they were snuggled together on the couch, feeding each other and just enjoying their time together. Haru wanted to spend as much time like this as he could in the following days, he wanted to stock up on all the good feelings, to take with him. That reminded him of the other thing he got, and he put his plate aside, before going to the bedroom, followed by Makoto’s curious gaze.

He returned and presented the gift to Makoto.

“Haru, you really shouldn’t have.”

“It’s not a big thing. Go on.”

“Haru.” Makoto took the wrapped gift and smiled, before carefully opening it. “Haru!”

“I know you wanted it, so when I thought about what to get you, this seemed all right.”

“It’s more than all right!” He threw himself in Haru’s embrace, the book squished between them, and Haru had to balance so that they wouldn’t topple over. He was happy though, that he had chosen well. Knowing Makoto, he would have postponed as it was supplementary reading, and a little bit expensive, but Haru had done research himself. The book was always mentioned as a really important source of knowledge. He had no qualms after that. Makoto kissed him then, before smiling widely. “It’s perfect for University too, not just the internship! Thank you!”

Haru smiled, feeling happy then picked up his cake again. Makoto though was petting the covers before putting it to the side. “I don’t want to dirty it.” Haru grinned, and cut a piece of the sweet, offering it to Makoto who didn’t waste any time and practically inhaled it.

“You know, you always say how I spoil you?” Nodding because it was the truth, he did, Haru took another bite before portioning off another to Makoto. “You spoil me too.” Makoto leaned in, giving him a chocolate kiss, then snagged the offered bite.

“Not really.”

“You do. Trust me.”

Haru tilted his head, thinking it over. “I want to.”

“Well you do.” Another kiss followed, Makoto’s hand cupping his head, their tongues meeting in a caress. Haru heard himself moan, the pleasure rushing through him, as it always did, and he had to remind himself at the last minute that he was holding a plate and could not in fact, grab onto Makoto as he wanted to. Makoto, smart man that he was, saw it too and took it out of his hand, depositing it on to the side table, before he returned to kissing him. “Now let’s spoil each other.”

Haru laughed at that, because he guessed that was one way of putting it, and embraced Makoto.

“I like that idea. Mutual is always best.”

“That it is.”

Before he could reply, he suddenly felt himself lifted and he hung on, letting Makoto get them to their destination.

~~

Haru blinked into the morning light, then stretched.

Makoto’s hand was still firmly around him, as it had been when they had fallen asleep the night before. A smile bloomed on his face as he remembered how they’d taken their time, exploring each other, giving each other pleasure, and how they barely managed to get to the shower after. They’d left the window open, the night summer air pleasant and now the streams of morning light fell on the bed.

His bladder complained just then and he sighed, then managed to extricate himself out of Makoto’s hold before padding to the bathroom. Once done, he washed his hands, and then rolled his eyes at his wild hair, trying to comb it somewhat with his wet fingers. Satisfied it looked at least somewhat decent, he walked back, rotating his shoulders to loosen up his muscles a bit. A glance at the clock told him Makoto still had a few minutes before he needed to wake up.

His eyes fell on Makoto then, and he leaned on the door, observing him.

He was still asleep, on his side, his arm extended towards the place where Haru usually slept, with his other curled beneath his pillow. Makoto’s face was relaxed in repose, lips slightly parted. They’d slept in the nude but a sheet covered him from the waist down except Makoto suddenly moved, his legs now bare up to his thighs.

Haru wondered if he was warm.

He also really wanted to take a photo of him like that.

Turning around, he went to the living room where the new camera bag was placed and fished out his new camera. He returned to the same spot he was in previously, and looked through the lens, moving slightly until he had everything adjusted as he wanted.

There was a soft click and he peered into the screen for quite a while, the black and white photo of Makoto looking pretty perfect to his eyes. He knew in time he’d probably be able to take better ones but for now, it seemed so.

The first photo he took being one of Makoto also seemed perfect.

He smiled happily, then padded to the edge of the bed, and laid a kiss in Makoto’s hair.

“Wake up sleepy head, time to get up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both of them on their way to new things XD
> 
> Anyhow. Since the holidays are coming, I am going to take a little break now. This seemed like a good stopping point too and especially considering we're almost at the end of the chapters I have written. Happy Holidays to all of you, I hope you have a wonderful time and we'll see each other again post New Year! XD


	32. Chapter 32

#  Chapter 32

 

“Passport.”

“Here.”

“Everything printed out?”

“Yes.”

“All right. That’s it.”

Haru sighed, looking up then lifted his arms, and Makoto stepped closer because he too wanted that embrace. His own went to Haru’s lower back, pressing him closer.

He buried his head into Haru’s neck, inhaling his scent. “You’re not leaving forever. Why is this so difficult?”

Haru’s arms just tightened around him as a response but no words followed and Makoto guessed that he didn’t know himself. He wasn’t even sure the why of it mattered, they simply felt as they did.

They were suddenly interrupted by a beeping sound and Makoto sighed. “I put the alarm on for when you need to leave the house. The van will be here in ten minutes to pick you up.” He lowered his head and kissed Haru, first slow, then with an ever growing edge of desperation. They finally parted and he helped him put his backpack on, and handed him his other bag.

“Travel safely. I’ll miss you.” He had no idea if those were the proper words but he tried. “We’ll try and chat, even with the time difference and it’ll pass by quickly.” Makoto wasn’t exactly sure of that but then, he knew this was natural, they were going to be apart sometimes. They’d make do.

Haru just nodded, still silent, and they exchanged another brief kiss, before he turned around, grabbing his bag. Makoto followed along, thinking he’d best not watch him go away past the genkan because the way he was feeling now, he’d probably get teary eyed and Haru didn’t need that. That he wasn’t speaking explained everything to Makoto about how he was feeling, so adding to it wasn’t something he wanted.

He opened the door, and hugged Haru quickly one more time, then let him pass. Inhaling deeply to get a rein on his own emotions he tried smiling and Haru smiled back slightly then walked past. He refused to look into the corridor but he could hear his footsteps and the sound of the elevator. Thinking it’d be best to just get it over with, he was about to close the door when he heard a thud.

“Makoto!”

Haru rushed back in, grabbing him in a hug and Makoto squeezed him with all his might. He could feel Haru’s warm breath on his cheek and then a light press of his lips.

“I love you.”

Feeling choked up, he just nodded, his fingers threading in Haru’s hair. He tugged at it, so that he could look him in the eyes. “I love you too.”

“I’ll be home soon.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

This time he got a proper, big smile out of Haru and they kissed again, with Haru finally leaving. Makoto stood in the corridor, waving, and soon he was alone.

Closing the door slowly, he returned to the living room and looked around, already feeling a little bit lonely.

It was a Sunday.

~~

Makoto poked at his salad and sighed.

He honestly didn’t have much of an appetite. He had to have lunch anyway so he’d decided to simply make something that wouldn't require too much effort. Chopping a few vegetables seemed like the best idea he could come up with, and he’d chopped and diced, and ended up with the meal in front of him. He had to admit it wasn’t too appetizing, even if he discounted his present moping.

There had never been a doubt he’d miss Haru, it would be impossible not to. Somehow he’d expected it to creep up on him slowly, as time passed. Instead it had only been a few hours and he was already feeling it, the need to talk to him, to touch, to see him smile. He’d rested in their bed, inhaling Haru’s lingering scent, and though it had helped a little, he found he was way more affected than he thought he would be.

His phone rang then, making him blink.

Haru had of course said he’d make sure to text him as soon as they arrived, and it was way too early anyway, so it couldn’t be him. He hoped nothing was wrong.

Getting up he recovered his cell from the desk and smiled slightly. Of course she’d call.

“Nagisa. Hello.”

“Makoto! Missing him already?”

He groaned, feeling somehow lighter just due to those few words and he threw himself onto their cushy couch. “Yes, I am.” They had talked a lot but never about things that were too personal. Somehow she’d ended up having those few conversations with Haru. Even so, he didn’t feel reluctant admitting this to her, in fact, it felt good. “I didn’t think I would, not this much.”

“I miss Akira, it’s only normal.”

“I know but, it’s just for a month. Should I be missing him this much, this quickly?” Makoto huffed, wishing he could just understand.

“Have you been apart like this since you got together?”

 He had to pause at the question, to think it over. “No, just for the few days I went to Iwatobi to visit my siblings. And before that for the day when I went to talk to my parents.”

“Both of those were stressful too, by quite a lot.” Her voice was calm, soothing and not offering any judgment, but making him think it all over.

“They were.” He knew he didn’t have to explain more than that.

“You’re a couple now, it’s more intense, what you’re feeling. You had these things happen before and even though you may not fully realize it, it’s still affecting you. I’m willing to bet Haru is feeling it too.” He hummed in agreement because he knew that to be the truth, it was easy to tell with Haru, at least for him. “The kids are coming tomorrow, right?”

He blinked at the change of conversation but figured she probably had a reason for it. “Yes, we’re starting tomorrow. I’m truly excited!”

“See? By this time tomorrow, you’ll be occupied and it’ll settle down. What you’re feeling is normal.”

Makoto smiled, looking at the ceiling. “Thank you Nagisa.”

“Enough to have me over for lunch?”

He looked at his sad little salad and blushed. He couldn’t offer that. “Well, I’m not the best cook.”

“Don’t worry, just wait for me.”

“All right.” He had no intention of saying no, on the contrary, he welcomed the company.

“Great, I’ll be there soon. Akira’s car will come in handy.”

They said good bye and Makoto sat there a while longer, after he’d hung up. He ran those events through his head, thinking over what she’d said and had to admit she was probably correct. It would be stupid to think that his parents’ rejection would have no consequences. In fact, he was pretty certain that some of his fears even way back, when they had been talking about living together, stemmed from that. He could see that now, since time had passed and he’d settled down, feeling much more secure and comfortable. He was also pretty sure that Haru had known, had seen it, even then and had let it rest, which was probably the best choice at the time. Makoto knew that words wouldn’t mean all that much, they both would have to simply live and things would come.

He was also aware Haru had his own fears and insecurities, both related to the stony wall of silence his father presented.

Nagisa was right too, that all of this was wrapped up in the feelings they had for each other. Makoto knew just how much he loved Haru, he was sometimes even caught by surprise by the intensity of it all. He had no doubts that Haru felt the same way. It probably was no wonder that he’d be a bit unsettled when they parted like this for the first time since they admitted it, considering everything.

He took a deep breath and then let it go, definitely feeling better. Just being able to sort it out for himself helped a lot. Makoto wasn’t sure he was good at this, but Nagisa had helped, and so he let go of the tiny, niggling worry that perhaps they were too dependent on each other.

He was going to enjoy his internship, he truly was looking forward to it and he was also going to miss his boyfriend. It was all right, feeling those things.

The doorbell rang then and he got up to answer the door, awed at how quickly time had passed. Or how quickly Nagisa had managed to get there. Or both, probably.

She smiled at him, and he smiled back. Dressed in a yellow sunny dress that he made sure to compliment, he knew his manners, she was like the light and he was again glad she suggested this. Nagisa grumbled about the traffic and only then did he notice the large basket she was toting with her. Taking it out of her hands, he was surprised by the weight of it.

“Did you bring lunch?”

“Of course.” She headed towards the living room only to spot his salad. “Honestly Makoto.”

He shrug sheepishly, knowing how it looked but he really hadn’t been up to more.

“You two.” She shook her head, then pecked his cheek, making him blush. It was nice but he was also embarrassed so he cleared his throat and got the basket to the kitchen counter.

They both started removing the food items, and as more and more appeared, he knew his eyebrows were creeping up to his hair line. Nagisa laughed, shrugging.

“As I told you, you’re not the only one who misses someone. Akira is my baby brother, I’ve always looked after him, so it is difficult, especially as things are still hardly ideal.” She waved at all the food. “This is how I cope.”

“That is a lot of food.”

“I have more at home.”

He looked at her incredulously and she laughed again. “Shiro’s used to it. He says he loves this because he gets to store food for days and then he doesn’t have to cook, which is great for him. Of course, I threaten to withhold it then because how can he be so insensitive?” She was still smiling in spite of that and he knew that she appreciated her boyfriend’s attempts at humour. Though he probably was grateful for the ready meals as well.

They set the table and Makoto observed all the choices, unable to decide what to start with.

“Try the green curry, it’s great. It’s my grandmother’s recipe.”

He laughed lightly at how easily she read him and just reached for it because he might as well. A single bite was enough for him to know that it was excellent indeed, and he happily fell on the rest of it. “You have got to give me the recipe for this, Haru is going to love it!” Since they always playfully fought over such dishes, he was certain of it.

“You have Haru on your brain.”

Makoto felt himself flush and he wondered if he’d gone pink or was reaching the red parts of the spectrum too. But it wasn’t as if she was wrong about it.

“It’s beautiful, you know.” He raised an eyebrow at her in question and she patted his hand. “How much you care for each other. Don’t be embarrassed about that.”

“Sometimes I keep thinking it’s too soon, too early for it to be so strong.”

“Did it ever feel like it was too soon?”

“No.” It was a quick, decisive answer.

“Then forget what other people may believe, what they may think is normal. Just live your life as you feel is right, both of you.”

“And sod the expectations, ah?”

She laughed and laughed, finally leaning in to give him a hug. “Makoto, now you’re talking my language. That sentence got Akira and me where we are now.” She raised her glass to toast to it, and he joined her, smiling himself.

“Now tell me about tomorrow.”

And so he did. All about what they expected of them, and the plans and how much he was looking forward to it.

“You’re going in your new track suit and jammers of course.”

“Eh? Oh! Yes.” He grinned because of course she would remember. Then he recalled what had happened after he had gotten home that day and he knew he went red in the face within seconds.

Nagisa blinked, then brought her hands up. “I am not going to ask. I’ll be nice this once.”

Makoto grabbed for his glass of water and downed it, thanking all the deities for small mercies. He was sure he would have combusted if she actually had asked.

“Anyway. Do you get only one group of kids?”

“I’ll be working with two groups and of course, I’ll help plan all the group activities with the others. It’s a summer program so it’s a Monday to Friday thing for the kids.”

“That’s great, it should help the parents too.”

“It covers half a day for them, and it is both healthy and fun. Watanabe-san said they’ve had numerous positive feedback from them.”

“There is a reason why it has such high reputation.” She patted her stomach, apparently full already, and leaned back. “Ah, I feel better now.” Makoto nodded, then offered to make them coffee. She happily agreed and soon they were sitting on the couch, just chatting and sipping the steaming liquid.

“I have a question.” Nagisa put down her coffee and Makoto suddenly hoped that it wasn’t going to be anything embarrassing. “Haru asked me about a jazz club just recently. Did you end up going? That man is just so tight-lipped.”

Makoto couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face.

“That answers it. The reason I’m asking is, how was it? I’ve never actually been you see, I had to ask one of my friends who is into it, and she swore up and down it was the best place. Shiro and I, well, our anniversary is coming up.” She shrugged, blushing but he just nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. “I was thinking maybe we could go there, if it is truly that good.”

He suddenly remembered something and waved his free hand enthusiastically.

“That’s a great idea! Yes, it’s fantastic. Haru and I are going back as soon as he returns, we both had an amazing time but the thing is, you can have dinner there too!”

“Oh!”

He nodded, grinning at her. “I hadn’t expected it either but they have a whole menu. I loved their wine too. There were plenty of people eating while we were there so definitely nothing unusual.”

“You have no idea how many problems you just solved for us! We were trying to figure out how to do this, and suddenly it’s perfect. Thank you Makoto!” She hugged him, and Makoto had to move the cup quickly, not to get coffee all over them both. It was worth it though, and he patted her back with his free arm.

“I’m so glad!”

“We wanted to make it special because I was ill last year and let me tell you, there is nothing romantic about sniffing your way through cake, your nose red and puffy, with a million handkerchiefs around you, no matter how much your partner tries.”

“He’s really nice.”

“He’s incredibly shy. The little he talks to you two is more than he does to most.” She blushed again and Makoto found it to be terribly endearing. She was usually so bold, but it seems that when it came to love, she was exactly like the rest of them. Shrugging, she stared at the window. “He really is nice. Actually he’s wonderful. We’ve been together for a while now and he works so hard. We’re not…” She looked at him then and Makoto wondered what was troubling her.

“Don’t take this the wrong way Makoto, I don’t mean anything bad by it. We’re not of the same social class, if you understand.” He nodded, while thinking that it must be difficult for Shiro. Wanting to give her everything, but not being able to. The outside pressures they must be facing. He finally understood Shiro’s need for the incessant work too. “We’ve stuck by each other through some tough times.”

He realized that of course, her parents must not approve. Asking her that was another matter, it was too intrusive.

“We’re going dancing tonight.”

“Oh?”

“I’ll give you the address if it turns out good and you can take Haru there.”

Makoto blinked. He hadn’t actually thought about going out dancing, with just Haru apart from that one, joking guess during their celebration. As a group of course, they were still trying to figure out how to go to that open club sometime later that summer, and they loved to, in the privacy of their own home, but this was a new idea.

“I’d like that.”

“Excellent, it’s a deal then.”

They talked some more then about the concerts they might go to, and whined about their inability to figure out a good time for the outing, promising to somehow make it happen anyway. She regaled him with her hospital stories and Makoto was sure he’d probably end up dreaming about some of those. He was both entertained and horrified, ending up hiding behind his hands at one point. Not to mention he was quite happy he never even thought about being a doctor.

They finally said their good byes because according to her words making herself pretty took a good while, even though Makoto insisted she looked perfect as she was. Nagisa had laughed and asked if Haru knew what a good catch he’d snagged, which just made him blush again. She had the knack. They remembered her basket at the last moment, and he ran back to get it, both of them rolling their eyes at their forgetfulness. Nagisa hugged him good bye before pecking his cheek and was then off, leaving him once again alone in the apartment.

He cleaned up the dishes, put away the left-overs, and he couldn’t quite believe how many there were, and then decided a bath would do him good. Having Nagisa over had distracted him wonderfully and he knew that it had helped her too, so he didn’t feel too awkward about monopolizing her time. That was what friends were for anyway.

It didn’t take long before he was up to his neck in the water, head resting on a towel and he dozed off, feeling completely relaxed.

Makoto had no idea how much time had passed but by the time he finally blinked his eyes open, the water had almost gone cold. He quickly got up, rinsing himself off and wandered into the bedroom, to see that the day was definitely slowly beginning to wane. Stretching, he pondered if there was anything else he needed to do to prepare for tomorrow but there really wasn’t. He had already planned the schedules for the kids according to the information he did have and any possible alterations would have to be done later, after he had met them. This of course meant he had plenty of free time.

Watching some television sounded good and he padded into the bedroom, turning it on. Soon he was engrossed in a comedy, laughing out loud at the antics of the two characters. He wasn’t used to seeing Jackie Chan in these but it was fantastic.

Time flew, and in the end he ended up watching Kitajima-san’s weekly show, watching for any mentions of swimming. He’d grabbed some food from the kitchen and was munching along, and while they didn’t mention anything about the future races, it was still quite good.

It wasn’t until he finally retired for the night that he experienced that same sense of missing Haru so intensely, as he had that morning. He sighed and wished he could at least talk to him but the trip was a long one, almost fifteen hours and he’d have to wait till tomorrow evening.

His gaze wandered the almost dark room, the only light coming in through the open window, when it fell on the plush that had remained behind.

Haru had checked three times to be absolutely sure his was packed. It was important, he’d said.

Makoto had hugged him then, because really, what else could he have done.

There was of course nothing to stop him now from using his own plush in the same way. He stretched and grabbed it, rolling to the side and hugging it to himself.

It wasn’t quite the same.

It did make things better, much better because it was something Haru had given him, and somewhere out there Haru would be sleeping soon like this as well, with Makoto’s own gift.

That feeling of connection made him feel warm and he breathed easier.

_I don’t care if it’s silly, or what others might think. It’s what we are to each other._

Haru was his love, and that was simply how things were.

Makoto finally let his eyes close and he drifted off into a restful sleep, the plush tightly held against him.

~~

“Tachibana, a word please.”

Makoto blinked at Watanabe-san and nodded, changing his path to follow him into what seemed like a meeting place. He had been on his way to lunch and he hoped nothing was wrong.

He certainly didn’t think so, in fact it had been a pretty good few hours.

As planned they were using the smaller pool for the summer program activities. It was half the size of the big one that Haru and the others used, but it had a shallow end that was perfect for the children and they would not be disrupting the swimmers who had remained training in Tokyo. He’d met his first group and they were great kids, two boys and two girls. They were polite and attentive and had taken to him instantly. Makoto was pretty sure it was going to be just fine. One of them was a little shy, and he had had to pay special attention to keep him involved in the group dynamics. One of the girls had whispered to him that she didn’t have anything like that while pointing at the floating devices one of the groups was already using, and he had a pretty good idea what the sudden fear in her eyes had meant. He’d reassured her quickly that the club supplied those, they after all wanted to make sure everyone was safe, and she had relaxed after. He’d kept an eye on her but there had been no other anxiety, in fact she had latched on to the shy kid, drawing him out a few times even, and the four seemed to be getting along just fine.

Which is why no matter how much he racked his brain, he could not figure out what the trouble was.

“I’m sorry to be taking you away from your lunch but we won’t be long.” He motioned to a chair and Makoto sat down. “There has been a slight change in your second group, I’m sorry for not informing you earlier but we just learned of it this morning ourselves.”

Watanabe-san scrolled on the tablet he had with him, and Makoto felt relief and at the same time curiosity about the news.

“The only girl in your second group has dropped out, and another one is taking her place. I’ve sent you an email with all the information but here we go. Yoshida Chiyako. She’s eight and has missed a whole year of school due to a car accident. There has been the usual therapy, she’s well enough now but her coordination, core strength and muscle tone will all get a much needed boost from being with us. Her mother was too late with the application or she would have been picked as a priority in the first place, but it’s worked out fine now.” He pushed the tablet towards Makoto, who took it, scanning the data quickly. “We would have rotated the kids around if she had any special needs and assigned her to a group with one of the graduates, but as it is, there is no reason to. Make sure she’s pacing herself. The biggest issue is going to be regaining her confidence, as you may imagine. If there are any problems, come to me right away.”

Makoto nodded, and as he went through the short summary he was sad someone so young had to go through something so traumatic but everything said she was on the mend, which was a relief. He hoped he would be able to help that further. “Thank you for your trust in me.” He bowed quickly, he was honoured by it.

“We only pick the best.” The words made him flush but Watanabe-san was already standing up, so he followed. “The only advice I will give you is to treat her as you treat others as much as possible. My door is always open Tachibana, you don’t need to do this all by yourself if it gets difficult. After all, you are here to learn as well.”

Makoto thanked him again and then picked up his bentou, before leaving for the break room they were told to use during the program.

There were a couple of tables and he surveyed the seating. One was taken by a young man, one of the older interns, who was deeply absorbed in his reading and Makoto didn’t want to interrupt. Another had a boisterous group, who were all razzing each other so he took a pass too and joined the third, where two young men and a woman were seated.

“May I join you?” He smiled, inquiring and one the guys quickly nodded, pointing to the seat.

He sat down, and quickly started opening his bentou. Working with kids certainly had made him hungry.

“Tachibana, right?” The same guy asked and Makoto blinked.

“Yes! Nice to meet you!”

“I’m Kawasaki, this is Muraoka,” he waving towards the other man first, then the woman, “and Nagano.”

They exchanged pleasantries, Kawasaki mostly leading the conversation, talking about his kids, while Makoto made inroads into his food.

“Saying hello to Watanabe-san, Tachibana?” The woman, Nagano, suddenly asked and Makoto looked up. There was almost a snide tone to her question, but then decided he must have imagined it. After all, they didn’t even really know each other but he still didn’t quite understand the question.

“Eh?”

“Well, you know him from before, right?”

Makoto was properly confused by then but clearing up the matter seemed the simplest. “No, we met at orientation, as everyone else.” She just kept looking at him and the silence stretched.

Kawasaki jumped in then, just when it was starting to get uncomfortable. “Did something happen?”

“Oh! There’s been a change in my second group. A late drop out and replacement. The child was in an accident prior to this so he had to go over some things with me.”

“Poor thing. That’s terrible!”

Swallowing his bite, Makoto had to agree. It truly was. “Luckily she seems well on her way to being fine but our program should help a lot.”

Muraoka was nodding furiously. “It’s why swimming is so amazing. I’m glad she managed to attend after all, it will help her in so many ways!”

“Shouldn’t someone more experienced have her in their group then?” Nagano asked, not even looking at Makoto and by then he was sure there was something odd happening there. Not wanting to get into it though, as he feared it would only make it worse, he opted to simply answer.

“As I said, she’s well enough now, this is just going to improve her overall state. Otherwise, they would have switched her to an older intern. Her well-being comes first, the club seems very careful about that.”

She didn’t comment more and the other two men started again on the conversation about the benefit of swimming, which he happily joined. It was one of his favourite subjects, and he had plenty to say. He had to remind himself several times to keep eating his lunch because it truly was something to share time with people who were interested in the exact same things he was, and to exchange thoughts on them.

“Uh, time!” Muraoka exclaimed and they all scrambled. They had just enough left to get to the bathroom, and soon he was ready to meet up with his afternoon group.

The kids arrived together, huddled in small groups and it didn’t take long for him to locate one of his charges. She was a little bit off to the side, with another boy who seemed to be studying his feet, and unfortunately she was easy to recognize by the still obvious scarring on her left side. He did notice they were all already dulling and was glad, for in time they should be hardly visible.

His group was read last, and he went over to them. The sullen looking boy turned out to be one of his too, Sawamura Takaya, as well as another two boys, who seemed to be quite eager to start, if their running towards him was any indication.

“Slow down there boys, please do not run on the tiles. It is easy to slip, especially if we’ve already been in the water.”

They both flushed but quickly nodded, and he waited for the other two to join them.

“You may call me Coach Tachibana, nice to meet you all.”

They all introduced themselves again, trying to sound as grown up as possible, and he smiled through it all, then welcomed them to Ryuujin. He explained the basic rules, talked a bit about the pool and then gave them a brief run down on what they would be doing.

“Will we really race?” Chiyako’s eyes looked wide and her voice sounded timid, and all the while she kept throwing glances at the water.

“You will but there’s plenty of time for that. You were all put in this group as you are non-swimmers so there’s plenty to go until we get there. By then you’ll be pros!”

She looked slightly reassured, and the two boys started jostling each other, already engaged in friendly banter over how they would win over the others. He made a note to keep an eye on them, as accidents easily happened when kids got too enthusiastic, and then finally rounded them up, directing them towards the water.

Little Takaya was still staring at his feet, and he hadn’t said a single word apart from his name, just following them.

It didn’t take long for Makoto to take a good stock of his charges. The rowdy duo, as he had named them in his head, definitely needed to be kept in line. He made sure to give them instructions first, occupying them that way seemed to be working. Chiyako still had motion issues with her knee and some coordination problems, but he was hopeful it would all be resolved. She was focused on what she did, and careful, and Makoto knew some of that had to come from the months she spent in physical therapy. As Watanabe-san predicted, her confidence was the thing that needed most work as she was reluctant to try things and stuck to him.

The silent one, as he’d termed Takaya, was quick to obey, but not eager at all. He’d simply stand to the side and wait to be called, not engaging with the others. On the other hand, he was handling everything with ease and speed and Makoto knew he’d be off swimming in no time. The thing that worried Makoto was that there was no joy there, no notion of having fun. He seemed to be there because he had to, not because he wanted to and that was not how it should be.

The rowdy duo decided to play a game of who can sink the other sooner just then and he had to get them to stop. Cutting off such play now was imperative, and he spent a while explaining what could happen and how it’s a danger, and how it also removed his attention from others who may be in need of help. They were properly chastised by then and resumed their exercises quietly though they did return to good spirits quickly enough.

Makoto shook his head and then was about to go over to Chiyako and correct her form when Takaya moved closer to her and offered help. He stopped himself then, letting them interact, and carefully watching.

“I can’t quite straighten my leg.”

“Does it hurt?” The boy seemed matter of fact about it and Makoto noticed she was all right with that.

“Not really. It’s just, the scars.” She looked down into the water and Makoto figured he’d have to intervene then but Takaya just touched her arm, making her look up.

“Who cares?” He shrugged, his tone still even. “It doesn’t hurt and it still works.”

Chiyako blinked at him, her head tilting, as if she was thinking it over then offered a small smile. Takaya nodded at her then helped her again. Soon they were kicking next to each other, holding on to the pool wall and Makoto let them be for a while before he swam over and complimented them both.

The day progressed slowly, the kids learning to float and laughing, and cheering at their successes. Makoto didn’t mind repeating something as many times it took and he had even managed to coax Chiyako into it. Takaya was observing her intently from the side even if he was hiding behind his hair, and Makoto had to bite his lip not to smile because it was obvious the boy was feeling protective over her. It was a good development so he tried not to draw attention to it, in fear of disrupting it. He did pair them up together then in the group exercises, especially as he felt the other two boys, even if nice, would be too energetic for her.

Makoto checked the clock when he noticed the kids were tiring and was surprised to see their time was almost up. He called them over then, and thanked them for a fun day, getting a resounding cheer in return, except of course, from Takaya. He did look to be in slightly better spirits so Makoto took it as a victory.

He did think that the boy needed extra care, and that it seemed like he got two, instead of one, more difficult charges but it was both a challenge and an opportunity to help. It was a little bit scary but a part of him was thrilled too.

Makoto took a quick shower after escorting the kids to their own locker rooms, but didn’t bother with much else. He was tired, hungry and just wanted to get home. The prospect of finally talking to Haru loomed over him and he didn’t want to spend more time there than necessary.

“Tachibana! Want to go out for drinks?” Kawasaki had come up to him, smiling.

“Ah.” He suddenly found himself in a bit of a quandary. Makoto did want to meet his new colleagues but at the same time, he also wanted to be sure he wouldn’t miss his Skype date with Haru.

“If you have something planned, we’ll be going tomorrow too, I’m sure.”

“Thank you so much. Yes, I am afraid I have something I simply cannot miss tonight but tomorrow will be great!” He smiled and thanked the man again, before grabbing his things and heading out.

It seemed though that it was not meant to be, because as soon as he stepped outside a now familiar voice called out to him.

“Coach Tachibana!”

“Chiyako! Not so loud!” An older voice admonished, and Makoto turned only to see his charge, accompanied by a woman that had to be her mother.

“Ah, Chiyako-chan. Off home?”

“Yes! This is my mother.”

They introduced themselves, Chiyako bouncing almost next to him, and the woman looking fondly at her.

“She had a great time, Tachibana-san, thank you.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just my job. She’s wonderful, you’ll see her swimming in no time.”

“Do you really think so? I wouldn’t want her to push herself too soon.” Makoto could see the little girl deflate then, looking down and though he understood the protectiveness, he knew too much could be stifling too.

“Definitely. I’ve spoken to Watanabe-san, do not worry, he’s gone over everything before we even started. Ryuujin prides itself in taking care of its charges, especially the little ones. We even have additional support on hand if needs be.” He smiled down at Chiyako then, and she grinned up at him. “We’ll of course be taking care of her, in all ways, it is our duty. Swimming will help her. Plus it’s fun!”

Chiyako nodded, then piped up. “It’s a lot of fun. And it is much better mama, in the water.”

“It’s because the water is a supportive medium Yoshida-san, it minimizes joint pain and makes movement easier. The benefits are numerous to her health.”

“I am so glad.” The woman smiled, her hand covering her mouth then and Makoto knew it must be a huge relief to see her daughter like this, after all the things that had happened, and the promise of more improvement must have sounded wonderful. “We won’t keep you any longer Tachibana-san. Thank you again.”

He tried waving her off but in the end just said his good byes and hurried to the station. He managed to reach it just in time for his train and he quickly boarded. He thought he’d glimpsed Takaya entering the adjacent car but since there was no way to check, he let it go and fiddled with his phone.

An e-mail from Haru had arrived during the afternoon session, making him smile wide right there in public, and he had to school his expression quickly.

“Arrived fine. Rin is in a coma. I hate jet-leg. Will be there as we agreed.”

Short but very Haru.

He read it and re-read it at least five times.

Makoto was so happy, that he almost hugged his phone to himself but it turned the rest of the ride into an impatience fest. He had plenty of time, there was no danger of being late, but he believed he would simply be more at ease once he was home. The stations rolled by slowly and he exhaled in relief when his was called.

A quick stop at the take out place, and really, he felt justified over it, cooking while he was this antsy seemed like a sure ticket to cuts, and then he was unlocking their door.

The second he stepped into the living room, he smiled widely. A slow shower was in order, to properly wash himself off. He could still smell the chlorine, so Makoto took his time. Next came the food, and he powered up his lap top, opening Skype. Haru was still off line but that was fine. Once done, he took it to the bedroom, and browsed through the information on Chiyako that Watanabe-san had sent. It was just in more detail what he had been able to deduce himself, plus some information on her therapy. He made some notes for himself, especially what might be better for her to do on her own, and then browsed the web idly, knowing he couldn’t concentrate any longer on anything else.

The ringing startled him and he quickly switched to Skype, accepting the call.

“Haru!” Makoto knew he must be grinning like a fool but he didn’t care. Seeing Haru’s face made him happy.

He got a little wave in return, and a smile. Haru looked tired but Makoto expected that.

“Makoto. I’m so glad you made it.”

“As if I would do anything else! How was the trip?”

“Long.” Haru shrugged, shifting and Makoto could see he was on a bed. “I am tired but it’s all right.”

“Is it your lunch time?”

Nodding, Haru lifted something that was off to the side and it turned out to be a sandwich. “I can’t handle anything more right now.”

“It still sounds like you fared better than Rin.”

Haru sighed and turned his lap top, so that the camera was pointing to the bed next to his. Rin was sprawled on it, in his jammers, sleeping on his front, as if he’d just fell on it and fell asleep in seconds.

“It’s exactly what you’re thinking.” Haru’s voice could be heard and soon his face appeared again. “I swear Yamazaki was worried he’d drown in the pool today. We were told to try to go along with this time, in order to get adjusted as quickly as possible so we had a light practice.” Haru snickered. “I’ve never seen anyone sleep while swimming before. Even I’ve never managed that one.”

Makoto couldn’t help himself any longer and he cracked up laughing. He tried muffling his cackles but then he simply gave up, as there was no way they’d be waking Rin up considering everything. He shook his head once he managed to get a hold of himself, Haru watching him with a smile on his face.

“Do you have practice later?”

“No.” He munched on his sandwich, shrugging. “It’d be too much but we did agree to go for a walk and check out the city.”

“It must be so pretty.”

Haru nodded. “From little I’ve managed to see, it’s gorgeous. Also, very different.”

Makoto sighed and reminded himself of their promise, that one day they would visit it all together.

“I miss you.”

Haru’s quiet words surprised him but also made him feel warm, and he nodded. “I miss you too.” He glanced to the side then stretched. “He helped.” He wiggled the dolphin and then hugged him, before giggling at the orca Haru suddenly had in his hand. They really were hopeless.

He didn’t think he could love Haru more.

And then something would happen, and he did.

It was always answered back though so it was fine.

They just smiled at each other for a few moments, enjoying just being there, until a loud groan reached them.

“You are going to give a man a complex.”

“Go to sleep Rin.” Haru didn’t even bother turning his head.

“I would, but you keep cooing at each other.”

Haru’s image wobbled a bit then and Makoto was greeted by a shark grin. “Hey Makoto.”

“The dead awake.”

“Ha ha.” He pouted, looking properly ridiculous and Makoto patted himself for a job well done in not bursting out laughing. “I’m tired man.” His eyes suddenly narrowed. “Is that food?”

“Touch my sandwich and die.”

“You are so mean Haru.” He sighed, before waving at Makoto. “I’m off to get food. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of him for you.” Another smile and then he was gone, Makoto hearing the distinct sound of a door closing.

Haru rolled his eyes but he was smiling anyway. “He’s ridiculous.”

“But he’s ours, so we’ll keep him. Family can be weird.”

They grinned again, Haru cuddling his plush. “Oh! How was Ryuujin?”

“I have a new charge, my second group has been changed. It’s going to be so interesting. I’m happy how it went.”

“I’m glad.”

Makoto chose not to mention the weird behaviour by the girl, Nagano. There was nothing Haru could do anyway, and he didn’t want to burden him as he wasn’t even sure something was wrong. Maybe she just had a bad day. Instead he weaved his way through the stories of the terrible duo, making Haru laugh and quickly explained Chiyako’s situation.

“The third boy, Takaya, there’s something there, I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“It’s just the first day, you have time.”

“True. I think he might make friends with Chiyako, which would help.” Makoto shrugged, then rubbed his eyes. “Children are exhausting.”

Haru laughed.

“I’m serious. I’m ready for sleep already and it’s not even ten.”

“Did you eat?”

Makoto chuckled, nodding. “I didn’t cook though, I grabbed take out. I know, I know but I wanted to be sure I’d get here in time and I’m too tired. I’ll fix something tomorrow. I did make my bentou!” He pursed his lips. “Even if they were Nagisa’s leftovers.”

“Eh?”

“She came over for lunch yesterday. I think it was for both of us, she cooked up a storm, the fridge is full!”

“Akira’s fine, he’s livelier than any of us. He helped me lug Rin up here.”

“Who is he rooming with?”

It was Haru’s turn to chuckle. “Yamazaki, of course.”

“Sousuke is nice and you know it.”

“He is. But Rin is here with him and Yamazaki has to keep his hands to himself, if he wants to appear professional. His words, not mine. Rin was grumbling in the plane.”

“My commiserations.”

Haru shrugged. “Akira and I have a bet going. I say five days, he said seven.”

Makoto groaned. “Haru.” Really, that was so mean of them. “Put me down for three.”

Nodding, Haru pulled out his phone, and typed it in.

“The first race is not before next week, right?” He was sure he’d remembered it well but his brain was starting to get sluggish so he couldn’t be sure.

“Yes. It’s well timed, so that we can rest and adjust. Mizushima-san’s friend is coming after that.”

“I can’t wait to hear about it.”

“Me too.” Haru yawned then, which set off Makoto. They blinked at each other, and smiled sheepishly. “Go, you’re tired.”

“I don’t want to.” He knew he was whining but he truly didn’t, even if he knew his eyes were drooping. “I planned on holding on a bit longer.”

“We’ll talk soon.” Haru checked his phone again. “Our lunch break is around this time every day, not counting the race days.”

Makoto decided it wasn’t so bad. “That’s good. I’m going to install Skype on my phone in case you need to contact me but otherwise I’ll try and be here whenever I can at this time. I’m meeting some of the other interns for drinks tomorrow and we’ll probably be repeating that. You know how these things are.”

“Good.”

“Eh?”

“I’m going to miss you but you can’t put your life on hold, any more than I can mine.”

Makoto smiled, thinking how he honestly shouldn’t be surprised when Haru came up with things like that. He had changed and matured immensely during the past year. Makoto himself probably had as well.

“I’ll miss you too. I’ll have more stories to tell probably.”

“About the devil twins too.”

Wondering just how many nicknames they could come up with in the month or so to come, he shook his head. Probably a lot. “Of course. I’ll let you go now. Have fun on your outing Haru!”

“Sleep well Makoto. Talk to you soon!”

They smiled at each other, then quickly hung up. It was as if they both thought that if they didn’t do it that way, they’d stay just looking at each other and Makoto knew they would have. They didn’t need to speak in order to enjoy being with each other. He put away his computer, then got under the cover and hugged his dolphin and went to sleep.

~~

“Ah this is life.”

Kawasaki sighed, relaxing and everyone agreed, Makoto included. No matter how much he loved being with kids, and it had been another good day, he was tired. It was more a mental sort of exhaustion, making sure everyone was safe and was doing what they were supposed to. At least this time the duo didn’t try to drown each other. They just soaked Takaya playing tsunami. Makoto was sure if looks could kill, they would both have been dead at that moment. At least they settled down right away, and behaved the rest of the day, especially when Makoto also looked at them, even if he didn’t say anything. He’d have to remember that for the future, sometimes words weren’t needed.

“Are we having dinner too?” Someone from lower at the table asked and everyone quickly agreed. It was a splendid idea too. He felt slightly guilty but then sharing this with his new colleagues was a good thing, so it passed. Soon they were all digging into the hot food, and his energy was returning.

“I feel alive again,” he mumbled around a dumpling and Kawasaki nodded.

“Tell me about it. I knew kids were energetic but I didn’t think I’d be this done in.”

Muraoka groaned. “I run marathons. I feel worse now than after one.”

“Newbies.” One of the third years cackled, then promptly yawned, setting everyone off. Silence reigned for a few seconds then gales of laughter could be heard. “All right, all right. Pipe down.”

“How is the kid doing?” Kawasaki asked between bites and Makoto grabbed his glass first, drinking deeply.

“She’s doing well. Reluctant but she’s making friends with one of the boys. How are your groups?” He finally remembered to ask, feeling it would be rude not to. Kawasaki needed no further prompting though and launched into talk about them, Muraoka occasionally adding things about his own.

“I can’t believe he actually posted something!” The senior from before exclaimed. “Oh that’s gorgeous.”

Others craned their necks to see, before a few pulled out their phones.

“Who are you talking about?” Muraoka asked, and Makoto was thankful he did, because he was lost. Kawasaki too didn’t seem to know what was happening.

“Some of the swimmers from the club have gone to Europe for training. Nanase actually tweeted.”

Makoto blinked, then blinked again. Haru had promised he’d use Twitter but Makoto hadn’t expected him to actually do it, never mind so quickly. He couldn’t resist and checked his own phone. Sure enough, there it was, on his own timeline. A simple hello, with a photo.

He knew immediately they must have taken that the day before, on their little excursion. They seemed to be on some sort of elevation, with the whole city sprawled beneath them, a single figure turned towards the city, his hands in his pockets, obviously gazing into the distance. It was in black and white, taken from a slight angle but still hid most of the man’s face.

Makoto recognized Rin right away.

“I think that’s Hamasaki.”

“Ask Tachibana here.” He recognized the female voice and almost groaned. Nagano hadn’t actually spoken to him all day and he had thought he’d just imagined it all previously but apparently not.

“What?” Kawasaki turned towards her, and she shrugged.

“Well, Nanase is his boyfriend. He probably knows who the men he photographs are.”

Makoto blinked at her.

For a second he felt incredible anger that she could insinuate something like that about Haru, not to mention bring his private life up like that, when it wasn’t her right, and then he finally realized what her problem with him probably was. He breathed in, then pushed those feelings down.

_I have nothing to feel ashamed of. I refuse to feel ashamed because of who I love._

Makoto decided that he would not back down, and cover.

“Yes, he is. And that’s Rin.”

“Oh! Matsuoka? Are you sure Tachibana?” The senior asked, obviously unfazed by the other revelation, even if Makoto could see a couple were looking at him curiously. He simply did not care.

“Yes.” He laughed on purpose, shaking his head. “I’ve only known him most of my life. We are all childhood friends.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Same swimming club, though Haru, Nanase, and I knew each other even before that.”

“Oh, I remember! I watched that program after the Nationals, they talked about that. That is so cool!”

“Not so cool for Ikehara here.” Kawasaki slapped the second woman on the back. Makoto hadn’t talked to her apart from the usual introductions so he raised his eyebrows. “She’s depressed now.”

“Eh?”

“She thinks Nanase is hot.” He threw his arm across his forehead, his head falling onto her shoulder. “Destroyed are her dreams, oh how cruelly were they ripped away from her. Gone forever!”

“You suck Kawasaki.” She grumbled but Makoto could see she was smiling. Others were snickering now and he thought that this was the right way. No running, no hiding.

“Why are you all depressed over Haru? How come nobody’s ever depressed over me?” He pouted, joking and everyone now openly cackled, offering their condolences.

Kawasaki lifted his glass. “At least you are the one who snagged him!” Makoto laughed then too and they clinked glasses. He got some questions then, about Haru’s plans but that of Rin too, and he answered the best he could. They wanted to know about their training regimen and although he said he didn’t know as much about Rin, he did share some things about Haru’s that he knew were all right to talk about.

“I could never be a professional athlete, it’s too demanding.” Muraoka shook his head. Ikehara shrugged.

“My brother is one, it is not an easy choice.” This of course got them going again, and the night slowly passed.

Makoto followed the conversation, interested about what she was saying but he also glanced at Nagano. She was glaring at the table, quiet and Makoto figured she must be unhappy how her little jibe didn’t work. While happy it had turned out that way he also knew he would never be friends with her, even if she apologised. In fact he was pretty sure he’d have to force himself to be civil. He could never stand for anyone trying to hurt Haru or cheapen what they shared. That was his line, he found.

_That’s all right though. It’s how it should be._

He refocused on the conversation and put it out of his head for the moment, enjoying his night. She was not worth ruining it for him. They spent quite a while there until most of them were yawning and finally they all said good night, laughing at themselves again.

Ikehara even smirked at him. “At least we’re both alone tonight, some consolation!” She winked and was off, leaving Makoto to stare after her. Kawasaki slapped him on the back, wiping his eyes from the tears that were forming from intense laughter.

“We have got to go out more. Good night Tachibana!”

Makoto waved at him, and went to his own station, head still reeling from the good natured banter.

By the time he was home, in bed, taking stock of the day behind him, he was smiling into the plush, then curled up with it, feeling like he could fly.

~~

“I can’t believe the week is already over.”

Makoto couldn’t either but he was so glad it was, and said as much.

“I need a break.”

They were eating lunch at the same table as that first day, except this time Ikehara had joined them too. She seemed to have taken to Makoto so he’d talked to her when they had gone out for drinks again the day before. She made sure to complain that Haru should post at least one photo of himself, instead of the others, or the city. He found it hilarious that she continued to declare him hot. In her words, she could dream, and Makoto of all people should understand. He had to admit he did.

He was actually quite surprised Haru was as active as he was online but he seemed to have taken a liking to posting photos. There were usually just a few words in a tweet, if even that many, but there was always an image to accompany it. His follower count was growing rapidly and Makoto was pleased as a punch. He had to promise her in the end that he’d relay the message to get her to stop poking him.

Nagano, to his surprise, also still hung out around them even though Makoto had hoped she’d stop after that night. She didn’t throw anything like that again his way so he counted it as a victory even if he was cautious and avoided her for the most part. He liked his internship, the kids, the other interns and he did not want anything to spoil it.

“I’m going straight to bed and I’m sleeping until Sunday afternoon.” Kawasaki said and Makoto laughed. “What, you’re not?”

“Actually, I’m off to a concert tonight with a friend and her boyfriend.”

“You’re joking?”

Makoto shook his head, sipping his drink. “No. She’s coming to get me after work or we’d never make it otherwise. I can’t wait. We love this band, I didn’t think we’d have the opportunity again so soon.”

Ikehara wanted to know which one and when he told her, she groaned. “I want your life Tachibana, I’ve wanted to hear them forever. I wish I’d known earlier.”

“It’s a surprise gig, they announced it last night. We’re getting the tickets there so if you want to come, you’re welcome.”

“Seriously?”

“Sure. They won’t mind and there’s room for one more easily.”

He was already texting Nagisa about it and as he predicted, she was more than happy to have another person join them. Makoto was certain Ikehara would get along splendidly with her too, they were almost the same age as well. He craned the text for her too see and she clapped her hands, hugging him suddenly.

“It’s going to be brilliant! I have a change of clothes here, always keep one just in case so no need to go by my apartment. Thank you!”

He waved her off because there was nothing to thank them for, it was just a concert, and he resumed eating when she pointed at his phone again.

“Any relation to our Hamasaki Akira?”

Makoto smiled at the “our” in that sentence, and nodded. “His older sister actually.”

“Awesome!”

He laughed, then finished his lunch quickly, as break time was running out. The afternoon group went by just fine, and he solidified some of his thoughts on his charges. He’d definitely have to talk a bit to Nagisa, though still a student she was capable of telling him if he was overthinking it about Chiyako.

The little boy remained an enigma, but they would be starting actual swimming next week so hopefully he’d love that.

He thought he’d end up waiting for Ikehara but she came sprinting down the hall in a summer dress and sandals not five minutes after him, everyone laughing at her.

“Just you laugh, look who’s going to have fun now. I am, that’s who.” She lifted her nose, eliciting more giggles from most. Makoto tugged at her arm and they all went outside, just in time too.

Nagisa was pulling up in her brother’s car and got out to wave at them.

“Ah, sweet ride.” Kawasaki enthused, with the other guys agreeing. They said their good byes and were off, Makoto introducing the two women quickly.

He glanced back at the waving crowd, and saw a frowning, angry, Nagano glaring at them.

That woman was downright weird, he decided but that was the last he paid her any mind, as Nagisa started the engine, already chattering away, and they were on their way to pick up Shiro.

Music was waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, terribly sorry about the long wait but simply put, life can be such shite. It won't change soon I am afraid but I am optimistic that I'll be able to post the next one in about a week. Thank you all for all your messages, here and on Tumblr, they mean a lot XD I don't have any plans at all to abandon this, so no fear there.
> 
> If there are mistakes, I'm sorry about that but I was more focused on posting this, than editing, as I simply do not have the time. I had to choose one so posting it is. More Makoto next time and his kids, plus we'll see how Haru is handling everything the new environment will bring ;)


	33. Chapter 33

#  Chapter 33

 

Makoto’s second week was going pretty good, apart from one not so small thing.

The weekend was great, starting with the brilliant concert they’d attended, with Nagisa and Ikehara hitting it off like a house on fire. He still wasn’t entirely sure he’d done the right thing by introducing them considering how Ikehara had no shame and Nagisa didn’t need any more prompting but it was a done deal. They had already roped him in for a shopping trip next weekend.

He’d laughed for a solid thirty minutes at Rin’s tweet containing a photo of a table filled with food and the text “This is what happens when Nanase finds a new market.” Makoto imagined Haru had had a blast and when they had spoken the next day, he did get a blow by blow account of it all. In general, Haru seemed in heaven when it came to food there. Makoto was pleased, and even more so when he’d been informed that Haru was collecting recipes to take home with him.

He had also managed to talk to Nagisa about Chiyako and that had prompted a meeting with Watanabe-san. The girl had met with one of the University doctors and now had additional aquatic therapy on her schedule. Makoto couldn't believe how everything got pushed through so quickly but Watanabe-san told him that when they said they had the full cooperation of the University, they meant it. Though he was weary at first that Chiyako would be unhappy with more of what she had gone through last year, she actually took it all in the spirit it was meant to and thanked him repeatedly.

The swimming lessons were going great. That is, for everyone but Takaya.

At first, Makoto didn’t think anything was wrong. The boy said he’d hurt his shoulder when he fell during football with some friends, so had asked if he could skip the practice for the most part, in the following days. Makoto had of course agreed. He wouldn’t have thought anything of it apart from a certain train encounter.

That first day brief glance had been no accident. Takaya did in fact take the same train as Makoto.

The train where Makoto saw him meet and then chat with a friend, holding onto the bar with both of his hands, no sign of an injured shoulder he’d spent nursing for two days in front of them all, then jostle and joke around on the station, as the train with Makoto had continued on.

He spent the evening thinking it over and he still couldn’t quite figure it out.

Makoto didn’t think it was fear of water, Takaya had gone through everything without any indication of discomfort. He wasn’t enthusiastic, but he did appear to have fun, especially with Chiyako, on occasion. If it wasn’t that, he was left with a whole lot of possibilities and all were pure guess work.

Of course he couldn’t let it go on like that, which meant he had to attempt to talk to him. The option of discussing it with Watanabe-san was at the back of his mind, but he considered it too early.

_I should try and solve this on my own. After all, this is going to be my future job. It is good to know I have support but I’ll never improve if I look to others for solutions without attempting it for myself._

With that in mind, a plan began forming in his head, and he nodded.

_We’ll try that first._

~~

Makoto held the kids a little bit longer that day.

They got engrossed into the swimming, trying out their front crawl and slowly getting it, and he didn’t discourage their enthusiasm. He wasn’t even the only person left at the pool, at least two more groups were still around so he considered himself quite lucky in that. Nobody could hint at him engineering it. Takaya was already out of the pool, watching them with a strange expression on his face, one that Makoto could not identify, as it seemed like a mixture of several, maybe even conflicting, feelings.

Finally, he called the session to a halt, and was gratified to hear disappointed sighs.

“More tomorrow, you’re all doing wonderfully!” He clapped his hands and they all cheered then got out of the pool, to get ready to leave. Takaya followed along, but Makoto could see him glancing at the pool under his bangs. He could swear that one was a look of longing and that truly confused him.

_If he wants to swim, then what is the issue?_

He felt better than ever about his plan, and quickly got to the staff locker rooms, to shower and change. By the time he was out, he feared he was actually late but then ran straight into Takaya, who was frowning at his phone.

“Trouble?”

“Ah. Coach Tachibana, no. I’ve missed my train, I have to wait for a bit now.”

“Oh! Yes, same here.” He smiled at the boy but inwardly he was cheering. “How about we go back inside? I can get us in to take a look at the pro swimmers.” He could indeed, especially as he had checked in advance with Watanabe-san and cleared it with him. Makoto refused to rely on luck in things he could control.

Takaya seemed torn but Makoto was already off, talking a mile a minute how happy he was he could show it to one of them, and how maybe they could all observe one day, and he could see just when the boy gave in, nodding. He’d have felt bad manipulating the situation like this if it weren’t for the circumstances.

Makoto lead the way, and they quickly found themselves on the same stands where he’d sat during that first, team, meet. Memories flooded him and he grinned. Takaya looked at him inquisitively but was apparently reluctant to ask.

“I have friends in the club, swimmers.” He gestured to the seats, then relaxed into one of them, and Takaya followed, while his gaze seemed fixed onto the pool. There were several swimmers going through their practice sessions, coaches either following along or observing. One was crouched at the edge, giving directions to a female swimmer, who’d then resumed her swim, freestyle of all things. Takaya seemed to be eating it all up and more than ever Makoto wanted some answers.

“There are many swimmers per discipline, so the club holds a meeting before the Nationals, to decide who will represent them.”

“They race?”

Makoto nodded. “All my friends made it. It was a lot of fun but I was also so anxious!” He touched his chest, his eyes wide and that got a small laugh out of the boy. “They worked hard so I was happy they were successful.”

They watched the swimmers for a while then, in silence, and Makoto observed him from the corner of his eye. Takaya kept his eyes on them, but for the most part, they kept straying towards the free swimmers. That seemed to hold his attention the most and finally, Makoto pointed towards the guy who was doing laps.

“One day it might be you, who knows.”

Takaya threw a quick glance his way, then reluctantly shook his head.

“Why not?”

There was no answer to that but Makoto could see Takaya was wringing his hands. Whatever it was, it was causing him distress and Makoto wanted it out so they could deal with it.

“Takaya-kun?” His voice was soft and he tried making it as kind as he could.

The boy hung his head, looking down. “You know?”

“I know your shoulder is fine, if that’s what you mean.”

“Why didn’t you just say something during practice?”

“I didn’t think you’d want me to say anything in front of the others. It seemed private.”

Takaya nodded. “Thank you.” His voice was firm and he finally looked up at Makoto. “I hate swimming.”

Of all the things Makoto expected to hear, that was not one of them. He blinked, then remembered how Takaya had looked just a few moments ago. Someone who hates swimming does not look like that. He weighed his options and then chose just to wait it out. Maybe that would be enough to push the boy into talking and he was indeed rewarded.

“I saw the Olympics, in London. I loved it. My school has a swim club so I decided to join. I didn’t think…” He shrugged. “I didn’t think it’d be a problem I had to learn first, you have to start somewhere, right?”

Makoto nodded, feeling uncomfortable. Considering Takaya’s background he had a bad feeling where this was going.

“They laughed at me. Said it wasn’t a charity but a serious club.” Takaya rubbed at his eyes, then shrugged. “How it’s so terrible I don’t know how to swim at my age and maybe my parents shouldn’t have more kids if they couldn’t afford even that. How it’s pointless to even bother with someone like me.” He was practically whispering at that point, and Makoto had to lean in to hear him clearly. “Do I even wash, they wouldn’t want me dirtying their pool.”

“Takaya.” The boy just shook his head, shoulders shaking and Makoto grabbed a bag, finding a handkerchief, which he handed to him. He took it, and blew his nose.

“I’m not from Tokyo, you know?” Makoto started conversationally. He was sure Takaya needed time to collect himself, and this seemed like a good angle to take. “I’m from a little town next to the ocean. You’d think anyone could swim there. Yet, in high school, when we needed one more swimmer to compete in relay, we met Rei. A studious young man, who wanted to swim. And did not know how.”

“Really?” Takaya was now peeking up at him through his hair, curious.

Makoto nodded. “In high school. He learned, and the year after that, we swam relay at the Nationals. We came in sixth!” He handed him a bottle of water then, that he’d also found. “Go on. Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with not knowing how to swim, at any age! It’s a good skill to have but sometimes people simply don’t learn. Those boys should have done what we did, offered you help.”

He paused, but knew there was nothing to do but tackle the rest head on. “Takaya, none of this was your fault. It is entirely on them, they never should have behaved that way.”

“We are poor.”

“Being poor is not something to be ashamed of. Being poor does not mean they should use it to hurt you like this.” He shook his head, and made sure to speak clearly. “All these things they said? They wanted you to feel badly. It’s what bullies do.”

“But I quit! I ran away!” His voice was full of anguish.

“You did the right thing. You didn’t stay in a place that was hurting you.” Makoto knew this was important. “It was the right decision. Did you join another club?”

“Football.”

“Was it fun?”

“Yes.”

“Did you make friends?”

“A few. I get it.” Takaya sighed. “I really wanted to swim.”

Makoto waved his hand at the pool. “It’s why we’re here now. Don’t let those boys take away your love of swimming. Don’t let them win.”

The boy blinked at him, then looked at the pool then back at Makoto. “I don’t actually hate it. It’s just…”

“I understand. How about we make some new memories? Happy ones?” Makoto smiled at him. “Your friends here are so nice. And you’re all learning together.”

“I didn’t want to try again and...”

“It’s going to be fine Takaya. We are here to help you learn. We’d never let anything like that happen. It’s what adults and teachers should do. You can always come to me if something is bothering you here, all right?”

Takaya nodded. “I believe you.”

“I’m so glad. May I ask you how you even got to be here? I would think you’d avoid a swimming program, considering.”

“I never told my mother what happened, just that the swim club was full and I couldn’t join. She actually remembered how much I talked about it all so when she heard about this, she applied, without telling me. It was meant to be a surprise.”

“She sounds like a lovely woman. But you should tell her things like that. She can help you.”

“I don’t want to bother her. She tries hard enough as it is.”

Makoto didn’t want to press, not to mention that he didn’t need to enquire further to be able to understand what those words meant, and he suddenly felt woefully underqualified for something like this. He took a deep breath and inclined his head, then stood up and started walking towards the exit. Takaya followed him, though he kept glancing back at the swimmers.

“We’ll come back again.”

“Really?”

“Yes. We might even get one of the swimmers to join us later. Some of them are off training in Europe now but there is time.”

“That would be great. I wish I watched the Nationals on television but well, I just didn’t feel like it then.”

Makoto thought that it could probably be arranged for all the kids, but kept his council just then. That was something he’d have to bring to Watanabe-san anyway. He escorted Takaya out of the building, then said he had to go back and check something for work.

“Thank you coach Tachibana.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for. Tomorrow, we’ll work on that crawl! You’ll be swimming in no time.” Makoto paused, then smiled. “We’ll simply tell the others your shoulder has healed.” Takaya thanked him again, then waved in good bye, smiling widely before running off towards the station. Seeing it just then, Makoto was certain it was an honest, happy smile.

He returned to the building, and was soon at Watanabe-san’s office. He had promised he’d drop by when he told the man why he was checking if he could watch the practice with one of his kids. Makoto took the offered seat and then recounted the whole conversation.

“I hope I did the right thing.”

“There is no reason to doubt yourself Tachibana. You identified a problem, figured out a way to solve it and it worked out. You would have tried again if it hadn’t?”

“Yes. I did think about coming to you, if it turned out to be quite difficult.”

“Good. It means you’re not too stubborn to ask for help if you’re in over your head and it’s an important lesson to know because it is not about you, it is about your charges. Some people are yet to learn this. Now don’t fuss, that was a good job.”

Makoto smiled, blushing but also sighed in relief.

“Anything else?”

He remembered the Nationals and quickly explained about it. “Maybe as a group event, if the kids are interested?”

“That’s not a bad idea. They can have fun and it’s good for them to mingle a bit. I’ll see what I can do but it shouldn’t be a problem. It’ll take a bit to arrange but Mizushima-san’s personal assistant is a genius for these things.”

They talked a bit about it then, whether to keep it divided by sessions or not, and in the end Makoto excused himself, heading home.

By the time he was lounging in bed, waiting for Haru to show up on Skype he was tired but filled with a feeling of accomplishment.

_This is why I want to do this job. I want to help._

He smiled, then focused on the computer. Haru had a race in two days, so this was it before they took that small trip. The call sounded and he answered, excited.

~~

“Congratulations Nanase-san.”

Haru was about to utter another awkward thank you in English, when he realized the man was addressing him in Japanese. He blinked at the unexpectedness of it but was relieved that he would not have to struggle again.

“Thank you!” He allowed a small smile at that and then was met with a huge one in return.  Haru searched his memory for who he may be, but he was pretty sure they had not met before. He was about to ask when the man bowed.

“I’m Marco Cercato, nice to meet you. I’m an assistant to Roberto Fanchini, the coach I believe Mizushima-san mentioned to you. I of course, know who you are.”

Haru didn’t recognize his name but he was definitely familiar with the second. It was the person coming to help out with his swimming. “Yes, he has. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“We saw your race yesterday. That was some impressive swimming.”

“Thank you.”

He found himself at a loss for words then, which granted, wasn’t unusual for him but at this moment it was more that he didn’t think his swimming had been all that impressive. He came in third, which was good, and both he and his coach were pleased with the result but he could do so much better. He had to do it, if he wanted to achieve his dreams. He shrugged then, the truth seemed the only thing he could say, considering the silence stretched.

“I wouldn’t say impressive though. I have a lot to work on.”

“Surely not. That was great! You came in third place.”

“That is not satisfactory.”

“Oh.” It was the man’s turn to be at a loss for words it seemed and Haru had a strange urge to squirm under his gaze. He wasn’t quite sure what was causing it but another voice suddenly drew his attention.

“Good. I’m glad to hear that.” He extended his hand and Haru shook it awkwardly. He was older even than Mizushima-san which was not what Haru had expected. “Roberto Fanchini, as you’ve probably guessed. You were good yesterday but you could be the best. We have work to do. Come.”

He started walking and Haru hurried to follow him, finding that he liked the man’s no-nonsense manner. His assistant joined them but Haru had already made up his mind that he didn’t seem particularly important. Especially not when he couldn’t even judge a swim properly. They ended up joining Mizushima-san on the patio and then spent a solid hour hammering out the details of the rest of Haru’s training there. Sousuke had joined them about five minutes in and by the end of it all, Haru was infinitely grateful for it because he argued against a few things, knowing it would not do Haru any good. That had led to a request for an explanation on why.

“Oh. He’s one of those.” Fanchini’s face was a mixture of resignation and vexation.

“Eh?” Haru wasn’t quite sure what that meant.

“Never mind, I’ve met swimmers like you before. You should have told me Mizushima.”

“I couldn’t resist. Your face.” Mizushima-san snickered.

“Laugh it up.” The man sighed, shaking his head. “All right, we can adjust.”

That resolved it all, and they were done much quicker then. Yamazaki and Haru left them to decide the smallest details then, Haru going for a light swim.

“Fancy going out later? Rin’s for it.”

“Of course he is.” Haru smirked then enjoyed the way Yamazaki turned bright red. Makoto had actually ended up winning their bet, which Haru managed to verify for himself when he had walked into an interesting situation in their bathroom. He had been surprised because he’d expected Sousuke to hold out at least a few days longer but it appeared that Rin was quite persuasive. Not to mention unapologetic when caught, claiming they had to celebrate Sousuke’s University acceptance because they hadn’t had the time before due to the trip, unlike Sousuke who had turned colours for three straight days after that, whenever he’d seen Haru.

Clearing his throat, Sousuke obviously decided that ignoring it would be best. “Hamasaki’s going too and I think a couple of other people, he wasn’t sure.”

“Yes, all right. Makoto’s out tonight anyway.”

“Wait up!”

They stopped, turning to see the assistant, Cercato walking up to them. “Caught you. Mind if I join you? After all, we’ll be seeing a lot of each other in the next few weeks.”

Haru didn’t really care one way or the other, but Sousuke seemed interested, so invited him along. Probably the whole assistant thing, from what Haru could guess. He yawned then stretched, walking slowly towards the pool, eager to get in the water.

“You don’t mind Nanase-san?”

“Eh?” He startled at the question, as he didn’t even notice the man following him.

“Me joining you tonight.”

“It’s fine.” He shrugged lightly then excused himself, before going through his warm up routine. It may be a light swim but he was not taking any chances. It didn’t take too long and then he was cutting through the water, all thoughts of the outing forgotten. He needed this to clear his head after the race yesterday and he took his time, not pushing it but just coasting along.

By the time he climbed out of the pool, he was refreshed and then quickly got to his room and considering Rin was out, took his turn in the bathroom. Even if he didn’t have anyone to play with, he still locked the door. Rin was a terrible roommate sometimes. It turned out not to be needed that time because he was out and already choosing his clothes by the time Rin finally dragged himself in. He went straight to the bathroom, waving absentmindedly at Haru, who hummed in greeting, then grabbed a blue and white striped shirt. He rather loved that one, especially as Makoto always complimented his eyes when he wore it.

He was sitting by the window, idly going through his photos, when Rin finally emerged.

“Sorry about being so late.”

“We still have time.”

“I felt like I had to swim, after yesterday. Not that I did badly but I’m always energized when I don’t win.” He grabbed a shirt, quickly getting dressed and Haru had to get up then.

“Honestly.” He fixed Rin’s collar and shook his head. “I know what you mean, a swim did me good too.”

“Thanks!” Rin sat down on the bed, getting his shoes on, then yawned. “Did you have dinner?”

“No. I didn’t get the time. I hope we can grab something.”

“Please. I’m starving. Who’s going?” Haru told him and Rin frowned. “Who’s Cercato?”

“The assistant of that Italian coach that’s supposed to be working with us. I think Yamazaki will probably talk him to death.”

“Why don’t you just call him Sousuke?”

“I save that for special occasions.” And he did, it was the truth. That his definition of special didn’t always measure up to the rest of them was not his problem, as far as he could see it. Rin rolled his eyes at him and they finally left their room, locking it before going to the hall, where the others were already waiting.

“Finally! I’m starving!” Hamasaki poked Haru’s ribs, making him squirm. “I am going to expire from the lack of food and then you’ll be left explaining to Nagisa how it was all your fault.”

Haru ignored it, apart from a little smirk. “So we are going to dinner?”

“Yes, nobody’s had the time to eat, it seems.” Yamazaki cut in and they finally left, seeing as he had actually got directions to a local restaurant, a bit out of the way but family run, with fantastic food. They used the van that was always at their disposal and soon found themselves walking a narrow path down a gorgeous garden, which led to a terrace, filled with a few long wooden tables. It truly looked homey and Haru was suddenly eager to try out the dishes. In front of him, Rin suddenly laughed then grabbed Sousuke’s hand, and tugged him forward.

Haru shook his head then paused, thinking he’d probably do the same if Makoto were there, no matter how short the distance.

He liked holding hands with Makoto.

“They are a couple?”

“Eh?”

Cercato who seemed to have materialized by his side motioned towards the duo. “Matsuoka-san and Yamazaki-san.”

“Ah. Yes.” Haru felt strange for a moment because even if it was obvious, and they certainly weren’t hiding as evidenced, he still didn’t like talking about his friends’ private lives to total strangers, especially when he wasn’t sure how they’d react.

“They look good together.” Though apparently that wasn’t something he should fear, if he were to go by that reaction. He wasn’t quite sure about the statement itself, but he did agree that they fit together. That wasn’t something he wanted to expound on though, so he just inclined his head and walked on. Cercato made no further comments and followed along.

Taking over one of the wooden tables, they managed to seat themselves, Haru grabbing for the menu right away. He hadn’t been lying when he said he was hungry, in fact by then, he was starving.

“Need any help Nanase-san?” Cercato asked, smiling and Haru shook his head, not looking up from the menu.

“No, thank you, I’m fine.”

“Nanase here is a chef in the making.” Sousuke who was sitting on Cercato’s other side piped up.

“You like to cook?”

Haru nodded absentmindedly. “Yes, on occasion.”

“If one of us wins, you should make that awesome cake of yours, for a celebration.”

“Oh, I so agree with that!” Hamasaki leaned in, grinning. “They did say you’re welcome at the kitchen after that dinner. I guess not burning it down persuaded them.”

“Feeding them probably also helped.” Rin snickered and Haru sighed. True, it had been a bit of a chore to get the staff to allow him to use the kitchen but it seemed perfectly understandable to him. The number of people he’d let poke around his was quite small. They were perfectly nice once they realized he knew what he was doing.

“We’ll see.”

“Haru!” Rin whined and Haru ignored him. It usually was the best policy.

“You’re good friends, yes?” The man next to him laughed softly and Haru groaned.

“Unfortunately.”

“He loves me.” Rin smiled widely, and Haru was saved having to answer that by the waiter arriving. A flurry of orders followed, except for Haru’s, who first took the convenience of an Italian next to him to ask a myriad of questions before finally settling for the house special.

“Thank you.” He inclined his head and just got waved away.

“It’s nothing! I like to cook myself so I understand. When I was in Japan, it was like a whole new world opened up!”

“When were you there?” Sousuke jumped in and it didn't take long before they were engaged in conversation that turned from the country to swimming training. They hardly even noticed when the food arrived, and Rin rolled his eyes playfully at Haru, who had to grin as well. He could relate after all because Makoto was hardly any better when he got going about his passion. Though that was Makoto and he was cute when he got all fired up like that.

The wonderful smells reaching him from the plates distracted him then and then he was too preoccupied with food, and enjoyment of it, to think of much else. That is, until a fork stole a piece of his meat and he blinked. Hamasaki was grinning at him, munching happily and Haru snorted.

“Good?”

“Yes. Try this.” He pushed his plate towards Haru, and indicated the vegetables. “I am not sure what they did but it’s divine.”

He snagged a couple and popped them in his mouth, moaning at the taste. It truly was.

“Oi.”

Haru blinked his eyes open, frowning in confusion and Hamasaki leaned in, whispering. “If you continue that, a certain someone is going to jump you right here and now.”

“Eh?”

“Oblivious.”

It seemed not worth his effort so Haru just gave up, and latched on to another thing instead.” That reminds me, have you spoken to Nagisa?”

“Yes, and she says if you don’t have a Skype session with us soon, she’s going to be truly miffed.”

“That is probably not wise.”

Hamasaki laughed and Haru figured that was definitely not a good sign, so made a note to speak to her shortly. “Makoto said they had a brilliant time at that concert. Apparently she hit it off with one of the other interns from the program that they took along.”

“She told me.” Snickering, he shook his head. “Poor Makoto, you may not have anyone to come home to by the time they’re done with him. They’re going shopping.”

Haru winced but then thought about a possibility for more modelling and his own enthusiasm grew. He sympathised, of course but Makoto could handle it. Maybe he should mention the idea of more fun when they talked next, it’d probably make the whole thing run more smoothly and thus, less painfully, for him.

“It’ll be fine.”

Hamasaki looked at him incredulously but Haru just smiled in answer.

They finished off their meals, chatting companionably about various things, mostly avoiding the talk of swimming. While he’d done well too, Haru knew Hamasaki was still plagued by confidence issues. He should have won his race, Haru had watched it and it had been well within his capabilities but he’d come in third. He didn’t want to bring it up, not unless Hamasaki did it himself, and currently, he didn’t seem inclined to.

“Where are we going?” Rin inquired. “It’s not that late yet.”

“How about just a walk around the city?” Sousuke asked and they all agreed.

Paying they got into the van and back to the centre, where they joined the mass of mostly tourists that milled around Florence at this hour. Pausing under the archways that opened up to the Arno, they relaxed, chatting in groups, while Haru leaned onto the old stone and just gazed at the water.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Cercato asked, standing next to him.

“Yes.”

He turned back and stared at one of the many bridges across the river, not in the mood to talk. Letting his mind drift, he relaxed and just breathed, imagining what’d be like to swim there. He knew he couldn’t, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t want to. Swimming in rivers was something he’d rarely done, especially one like this. He wondered if it would be different, if he’d understand its language.

_Maybe just a quick dip._

_What’s the harm anyway?_

He eyed the near-by stairs and wondered if he could duck away without others noticing.

“The others are moving on.”

“Oh!” Haru tore his gaze from the water with great difficulty and hurried along.

“I love this city.” Cercato waved towards the old buildings they passed. “I think it’s perfectly romantic, just right for a walk with someone you are interested in.”

Looking around, thinking how it would be nice to have Makoto with him just then, he had to agree. “It is.” He couldn’t wait to get back here again, with Makoto, just like they had promised. Florence was definitely a city worth returning to, over and over again.

Cercato’s hand brushed his then, startling him from his mussings, and he moved to the side. One thing that was somewhat vexing though was the amount of tourists, it was difficult to even walk with any semblance of personal space. Perhaps it would be better to try and visit during the fall season or maybe even in early spring. Of course that would mean coming back after he was done swimming and after Makoto had finished his studies but they had plenty of time.

They arrived at a nice, small square and sort of scattered about. Hamasaki was flirting with one of the girls, and Haru snorted. He was never going to give up but it truly was hopeless, even Haru knew that. Rin and Sousuke were off by the trees and Sousuke had his arm around him. They seemed to be talking about something and Haru didn’t want to impose so he just wandered about, until he found a nice bench and finally sat down, stretching his legs. Quiet was good too, he liked quiet.

“Ah, you’ve found a nice, secluded spot!”

_I should not have jinxed it._

“Do you mind if I join you?”

Before Haru could get a word in, and not like he could have said no anyway, it would have been rude, Cercato had sat down next to him.

“Ah, sometimes I wish I could have that.” He pointed at Rin and Sousuke, and Haru looked at them again. Rin was smiling up at Sousuke who looked so smitten that even Haru had to admit they did look good together. “Of course,” Cercato continued, turning to Haru, “something short and sweet is also good.”

“Eh?”

“You have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

Haru felt lost so shook his head, making Cercato sigh.

“You and me.”

Blinking at him, Haru didn’t understand for a second but Hamasaki’s words from earlier that night repeated in his head and he finally got it. “Oh!”

“Yes. How about it?”

“You don’t even know me! We just met.” It truly baffled Haru. He didn’t mind being approached per se, but he just didn’t understand this in particular.

“Why does that matter? I’m not asking about marriage. I have a single room by the way, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

To be propositioned for sex just like that was not something he’d expected, that was certain and he wanted to clear up matters really quickly. He had no interest in anything at all with the man.

“I’m in a relationship.”

He managed to state and he was quite pleased how firm his voice had come out. He was a little bit thrown by this whole matter, as people didn’t usually approach him. His somewhat remote manner was not conducive to such statements and this was especially weird.

“I am aware of it. What does that matter though? He doesn’t have to know.”

For a few seconds, Haru was quite sure he blanked out. If anything had surprised him up to that point, this certainly blew it all out of the water.

“I would know. That is not who I am.” He stood up, deciding that he obviously had to be quite clear. “I am not interested. In anything.”

“It’s just a bit of fun, nothing serious.” Cercato laughed lightly. “Don’t you want to try something different?”

“No.”

Shrugging, Cercato raised his hands in the air. “All right. Offer’s always open.”

“The answer is always going to be no.”

He just didn’t understand what was so difficult to understand.

“Everything all right there Haru?” Hamasaki appeared next to him then, frowning. Haru felt warm that the man was concerned for him and just nodded. Tugging at his hand, he moved towards the square.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

They walked slowly, Haru feeling relief as they put some distance between them and Cercato. It wasn’t as if the man had tried anything physically but still, it had made him quite uncomfortable and he wanted some room to breathe.

“Are you sure you’re all right Haru? What is it?”

“Ah, sorry, it’s nothing. I just…” he was embarrassed but knew Hamasaki wouldn’t judge. “I wanted to leave.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Hamasaki had a serious expression now, and was about to stop but Haru just pushed him along.

“No, it’s fine, but thank you. It’s just that, well…”

“He wanted what I suggested.”

“Yes.” Haru shook his head, finally stopping and looking at him. “That’s not the problem. I mean, he said he didn’t care about me being with someone.”

“Ah, I see.” Hamasaki nodded, patting his hand. “There are plenty of people who wouldn’t mind a little romp on the side, even if they were with someone.”

“Not me.” He didn’t even understand that. “I was sure I was clear on that but he still insisted he’s willing.”

“It made you uncomfortable.”

Haru nodded, happy he didn’t have to explain.

“What you have with Makoto is not easily found, you know.” Hamasaki sighed, and Haru was sure he detected a note of wistfulness in it. “Especially not so early in life. He probably doesn’t understand. If he bothers you again, and you need help, promise you’ll come to me. I know you can handle yourself but I’ll be there if needed.”

Haru thought that this night was definitely out to surprise him in one way or another but this one he didn’t mind. “Thank you Akira.”

“It’s nothing!” He clapped Haru on the shoulder and smiled. “In the worst case, we can always call Nagisa. I think he’d regret the day he was born.” Haru laughed then, the tension completely leaving him. He yawned and Hamasaki steered him towards the van, and they sat inside, quietly talking, waiting for the others to join them. It didn’t take long, as they all had practice tomorrow and soon they were back at their base. Hamasaki stuck with him all the way to his room, then wished him a good night and Haru unlocked it.

Figuring Rin would probably take some time, he went straight for the shower and indeed, by the time he was crawling under the covers, he still hadn’t arrived. His orca was there and he hugged it to himself, wiggling in bed to find a good spot. He was already slowly drifting off, when he heard the door open, and Rin enter. He went about his nightly routine, Haru could hear the shower and then the puttering around before the light on the night table got turned on.

“Haru? You asleep?”

He was tempted to simply stay quiet but there was something in Rin’s voice so he opened his eyes and turned towards the other’s bed. He was sitting on the edge, hunched over.

“Not yet.”

“I don’t want to bother you.”

“It’s fine.” He sat up in bed a bit and wondered what the problem was.

“May I ask you something personal?”

Haru sighed. It seemed to be one of those nights. He inclined his head because he knew Rin wouldn’t ask unless he had a good reason.

“You and Makoto…” He waved his hand at Haru, who shook his head at him. He needed more than that. Rin though just groaned, and plopped on his back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and stuffing it over his head.

_Honestly._

He threw the covers off, then got up and sat next to Rin at first, then laid down too, on his side, leaning on his elbow. Tugging at the pillow, he laughed. “You are going to suffocate.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Just say it.”

“You and Makoto, do you, you know…” He waved his hand again, his voice sounding muffled under the pillow. Haru groaned.

“This is about sex.”

_Of course it is. What else did I expect tonight?_

Rin growled and threw the pillow to the side, turning towards Haru. “Sousuke wants to have sex. Well, you know.” More hand waving towards the lower part of his body and Haru finally got what Rin was aiming at.

“And you don’t?”

“It seems so … personal.”

“It is.” That was exactly what he couldn’t understand about the events that night. He couldn’t imagine being with anyone like that, without the feelings he had for Makoto. He supposed for some it was not like that, and that was fine of course, but it was not for him. Somehow he wasn’t surprised Rin would be similar in this. It was embarrassing for Haru to talk about it so openly, and difficult, but it was Rin and he wanted to help. “We didn’t rush. I don’t think I could have, at the start.” He sighed and reached out to grab that pillow, then pushed it under his own head. “But I love him, and he loves me, and I felt safe.”

He didn’t think he could explain any better than that.

“I don’t think I’m there yet.” Rin’s voice was small and quiet next to him.

“What’s the rush? The rest is fine, right?”

“Oh yes!” It was such a quick, vehement answer that Haru snickered. Rin lightly smacked him on the arm then. “Shut up.”

“I think Sousuke would appreciate you explaining it to him.” He was sure he knew him enough to be able to say that. “He won’t mind, I’m sure but it’ll help knowing how you feel.” Haru was sure Sousuke would simply think the worst if Rin wasn’t clear and that could be easily avoided. “You know I’m not much for talk.” Rin snorted, shuffling towards him, before he practically cuddled with him. Haru sighed and drew him close. “Makoto taught me you simply had to sometimes or you’d end up hurting those you care the most.”

“Being an adult is hard.” Rin mumbled into his shirt.

“If I can have this with Makoto, it’s worth it. It’s worth everything.”

Rin was quiet for a while and Haru wondered if he’d fallen asleep but then he shifted, his hand fisting in Haru’s shirt.

“Aren’t you scared?”

“Of what?”

“Losing him.”

He realized that he’d forgotten the one thing that often plagued Rin and he really shouldn’t have.

“I see how you are, you and Makoto. I don’t think there’s going to be anyone else Haru.”

Haru didn’t think so either. They didn’t talk about that, not yet, the idea somehow still too big, too overwhelming but he was pretty sure they both knew it. He was all right with that. He couldn’t imagine anyone else but Makoto, touching those places deep inside of him, where silence reigned and the water was dark, so dark, that you couldn’t really see.

“Aren’t you scared Haru?”

_Am I?_

A world without Makoto was not something he could imagine. It was an alien idea, his mind having trouble grasping it. Makoto was always there. They’ve been Makoto and Haru, in one way or another, ever since he could remember.

He was certain that they would still be Makoto and Haru, even if something happened.

That thought carried with itself a weight that he wasn’t certain he actually wanted to examine right there and then. He did understand though, why Rin would be frightened. Love too much and the pain might be everlasting. He’d seen it already after all, his mother lived it.

“I think that I was lucky enough to have that one person for whom I’d risk it all.” He hugged Rin then, squeezing. “It’s all right though, to be scared. Just don’t let that fear rule you.”

“My father died.”

“I know.”

“If I let it, I think Sousuke could be my Makoto. I’m scared Haru.” Rin sniffed then, Haru not surprised that he was feeling overwhelmed. “My father died.”

Haru figured that Sousuke was already that for Rin, and that was part of the whole problem. Rin probably knew that too, on some level, prompting the fear and insecurity. No wonder he wasn’t feeling ready for that kind of intimacy because like Haru had thought, it would be related to feelings for him, and he’d have to admit the full strength of them in that case.

“I know. Come on.” He pushed at him gently, then straightened up, taking the pillow with him, and lying properly on the bed, Rin following and wrapping himself around Haru again. Haru drew the cover over them, before hugging Rin, then rubbing his back.

He was certain his advice from before still stood. “Take your time Rin. I think you need to. Sousuke will understand.” He knew Sousuke cared deeply about Rin, it had been obvious a long time ago to him. “Talk to him. Sharing that will help more than you think.”

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

“You will only do that if you keep a part of you separate and you don’t explain why.”

Sousuke was not stupid, he would understand. Haru would make sure he did, after all, if things got messy. He didn’t want to see either of them hurt.

“This is nice.”

“Eh?”

“That I can talk to you about this stuff too.”

Haru had to admit that while he might complain sometimes, in truth, he thought it was nice too. That he could go to Rin with his own concerns and that he would be listened to, was something he did not doubt.

“That’s what family is for.”

“Yes, yes it is.”

His world was expanding in some unexpected ways, old friends, new friends, and more people in his life that mattered.

Haru rather liked it.

“Sleep. We both need rest.”

Rin nodded, wished him good night and it didn’t take long for his breathing to even out.

_Yes, I do like it._

He slept too.

~~

“I’m taking Sousuke out on Sunday.”

“Oh?” Haru smiled at the proclamation, as Rin seemed in much better spirits.

They were sitting out on their balcony and enjoying the sunset. It was hot but they still both preferred it to the air-conditioned room and the stale air. It was a blessing for sleeping well, which they required but at times like these they liked being outside.

“I thought for lunch then maybe take a walk and sight-see some more. It is our day off.”

“Giardino di Boboli.”

“Eh?”

“Take him there. It’s beautiful.”

“The garden! The photo you posted the other day.” Rin turned towards him, grinning. “I didn’t think of that. Do you remember when they close?”

“Seven thirty, so you have plenty of time. I’ll go again myself if I catch another day, it’s too beautiful not to.” Haru sighed. “This city has too many things to see.”

“You and your camera.”

Haru shrugged, he was coming to love it more and more, and there was no point in denying it. He’d only experimented with taking photos of the other swimmers, not letting anyone see those, but he was becoming more at ease with locations. Already there were quite a few, waiting for him to go through with Makoto.

They had only exchanged a few messages in the past few days. Both had been busy and Makoto was out with some of his fellow interns on most nights.

It suddenly occurred to him that having Rin out for most of Sunday meant he had the room to himself. Makoto didn’t work then so they could probably arrange something, if he’d left the day free. Haru decided to send him an email as soon as they got back inside. They did after all make certain plans, and considering their schedule this seemed like an opportunity that might not repeat itself.

“You’re grinning.”

“It’s nothing.”

Rin laughed, then clapped him on the shoulder, before returning to his previous position. Sunsets were so pretty above the river.

Haru sent off his message to Makoto before turning in that night, and smiled when a lengthy reply turned out to be waiting for him that morning, starting with “Of course I’m free, it’s Sunday.” He had chuckled at the rest and was glad that Makoto’s kids were doing well, and looking forward apparently to a group watch of the Nationals, but that first sentence had stayed with him, making him smile all day.

His photo even ended up online because Rin found it so funny and had decided that he had to preserve it for posterity, in his own words. Haru wasn’t even angry about it, he was in too good of a mood. He swam, had fun with his friends and Sunday came quickly enough.

“Hey.”

“Haru! Just a second please!” Makoto smiled at him, his hair wet and dripping, before he disappeared from the screen. He’d obviously been taking a shower, and was running late. “Sorry about that!” He popped back, smiling. “I had a little accident in the kitchen so had to shower.”

“You’re all right?” Frowning, Haru leaned forward as if he could check for any injuries.

“Oh! Yes.” Makoto blushed, shrugging. “I just spilled the sauce. All over myself.”

“At least it wasn’t hot.”

“Thank goodness for that.” His shoulders drooped making Haru want to hug him. “The phone rang, startling me and I turned suddenly hitting the mixing bowl. I was going to leave it in the fridge, for later but it’s not that terrible. I was just sticky so had to wash.”

Haru laughed, shaking his head. “How was shopping?”

Groaning, Makoto’s head hit the pillow behind him. “I survived?” He flushed, making Haru wonder what had happened. “I ended up with just two shirts though and a pair of jeans, so it wasn’t that bad.”

“That sounds painless.”

“Not if you spent an hour modelling various things first.”

Haru snickered. “Did the sales girls help?” The pink turned into deep red and he bit his lip not to laugh outright. Makoto really underestimated his own appeal.

“Ah,” a shy smile, “a little.”

“Makoto?”

“Yes?”

“Nobody but I can touch.”

Makoto blinked at him in surprise then a slow, satisfied smile spread across his face. “Are you staking a claim?”

“I thought that was already settled.”

“Some more persuasion may be required.”

Narrowing his eyes, Haru tilted his head. “And what that might be?”

“Remember what we talked about?”

He remembered all right. It had been surfacing for a few days now, every night he went to sleep, making things somewhat awkward considering Rin was right there and he could do nothing about it. He was all alone now though, apart from Makoto, who was the cause of all of that in the first place.

Haru pushed the computer off his knees and positioned it at the bottom of the bed, then leaned on the headboard and shimmied out of his sleep pants. The shirt went next and he could see Makoto’s eyes glow with excitement when he let his hand tease the waist of his boxer briefs.

“Haru.”

He smiled then pushed them down his legs quickly, throwing them off to the side. Stretching his legs forward, he let them fall open slightly.

“Let me see.”

Not wanting to pretend he didn’t understand, he moved his legs further, loving the instructions given in that sinful voice. The way it went low and a little growly sent shivers down his spine but what truly made him burn was the way Makoto would suddenly become assertive, with no hint of shyness.

His fingers teased his lips, before he let his hand fall lower, playing with his nipples. He pinched the nubs, groaning at the feeling, letting his head fall a little bit forward, his hair obscuring his eyes so he could watch Makoto. As much as what he was doing was exciting him, Makoto’s reaction was doubly so. His mouth was parted, his tongue darting out every few seconds to lick his lips as if they were incredibly dry. Haru shifted on the bed and watched Makoto’s eyes follow him.

“Wet your fingers Haru.”

Sucking in one, he let his eyes close almost completely, and he twirled his tongue around it, moaning before adding another. His other hand wouldn't be still so dropped to his navel, teasing it softly.

“Are they nice and wet?”

He nodded, allowing his fingers to slip out of his mouth, the small trail of saliva cool on his chin. Not wasting any more time, he grasped his erection and pumped slowly. Soon he couldn’t keep his hips still, the pleasure slowly increasing and his body began to move subtly. He swiped his thumb across the head, spreading the precum and sighed. Keeping his grip as light as possible he almost taunted himself. The desire to increase the pressure grew but he resisted, keeping it slow.

“Let go now.”

Whining, because he really did not want to, he kept his hand moving, his body covered in a light sheet of sweat already.

“Haru.”

The firm voice made him blink. It wasn’t loud and it rang in his head like a crystal bell so he let go immediately.

“Spread your legs wider for me.”

Haru lowered himself in bed a little to make himself more comfortable and followed Makoto’s instructions. He could see Makoto’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, the sweat on his forehead, and knew this was affecting them both just as much. Waiting to be told what’s next, he didn’t move but for a few shifts of his hips, his body yearning for more.

“Get yourself ready. Show me how you like it Haru.”

He smiled, loving the way his name sounded when Makoto said it in that voice. He didn’t hesitate but shifted even lower and reached down, circling his hole. He pressed around it lightly, just rubbing, and then groaned, unable to keep the voices in. Pushing in, he lifted up to meet it and moaned, the intrusion causing a slight burn and yet, pleasure too. Not wanting to wait longer he started moving his finger, his body following and didn't wait long he pressed in the second one too, moaning steadily.

His other hand pinched his nipple, the slight pain making the pleasure spike and his hips jerked, burying his fingers to the hilt. Crying out, he paused for a moment, then continued, this time faster and harder. He purposefully avoided the pleasure spot, even if his whole being was crying out for more by then. His hand roamed but kept returning to the hard points, tweaking and rubbing them, the other steadily moving in and out.

Haru’s mind for a second flashed to the fact that Makoto was watching him and he imagined what he must look like at that moment.

His body flushed with pleasure and desire, moving constantly, his fingers disappearing into his own body, the sounds he couldn’t stop making. Haru could see it then, a clear image in his head, and more so, a clear picture of Makoto, reacting to him, and he bit his lip, his body arching and fingers finally pressing against that nub, the pleasure soaring.

“Not yet.”

Haru let his eyes open slightly and he looked at the screen. It was obvious now what Makoto was doing, the sounds clear and he groaned again, unable to keep still. A part of him was glad he wasn’t allowed to just simply jerk himself off because the prolonging was making the pleasure last longer, but a part also wanted to come now, the teetering on the edge driving him crazy. His thumb pressed on his perineum, trying to get even higher somehow and just when he thought he was going to burst, Makoto’s words pierced the fog of pleasure.

“You can touch yourself now.”

Whimpering in relief he grasped his cock, and moved steadily, his hold strong, the pleasure building, his body undulating. His fingers couldn’t keep the rhythm any longer and when he felt he was almost there, he found his prostate again, rubbing and that was it. He came in one long, drawn out moan, the overwhelming waves of pleasure hitting him. Makoto’s shout of pleasure drifted to his ears then, heightening his orgasm and then he was spent, his arms flung to his sides, chest heaving.

Haru couldn’t move for a few moments, his heavy breathing loud in his own ears but then his strength slowly returned, and he reached for the computer, putting it on his pillow before he laid next to it, blinking at the screen.

Makoto looked dazed, but he too mirrored Haru’s position then and smiled.

“I can’t believe we did that.”

Laughing lightly, Haru couldn’t believe it either, more than that, he couldn’t believe himself. There towards the end, he wanted to expose himself like that to Makoto, it had excited him and he grinned. “Guess we found something else we both like.”

“Haru.” Makoto’s eyes were hooded, and one of his fingers almost touched the screen. “The way you looked…” He shook his head then, obviously at a loss for words and Haru experienced a deep satisfaction spreading through him at the idea that he affected Makoto like that. He wanted to. It was an incredibly heady knowledge that he made Makoto lose himself like that, and he knew that was something he always desired to be able to do. Just him, nobody else.

“Nobody else.”

Makoto blinked at him, not comprehending at first, his brain understandably sluggish but then Haru saw the light of understanding, remembrance of their conversation in Makoto’s eyes.

“Just you. Only you.”

Haru smiled happily at Makoto’s words, secure in them, and nodded.

They didn’t speak much for a while, just basking in the afterglow and being together like this, but Makoto’s stomach gurgled loudly, making Haru laugh until his own joined and they agreed to take a break for a shower and to fetch lunch, so that they could eat together.

Haru scrambled off the bed quickly, after he ended the call and then hopped into the shower, washing off the sweat and evidence of pleasure. He was content that he could spend this day with Makoto, even if it was thanks to modern technology and not in person.

It was a Sunday after all.

Haru smiled.

~~

“Good day guys?”

Hamasaki asked Rin and Sousuke who were sitting across from him. As on cue, they both blushed but nodded. Clearing his throat, Rin picked up his water and took a sip before shrugging. “It’s a great city, lots to see.”

“Quite right.” Cercato responded, keeping his eyes on his own dinner. He’d left Haru alone after that night apart from the professional part of their association, and the usual pleasantries. Haru was glad for it, he wasn’t a bad man, and he got along with everyone and was amicable, but this suited Haru just fine.

“Go anywhere special?”

“One of the gardens Haru recommended.” Rin glanced at him and smiled. “It was really beautiful.”

Haru inclined his head, knowing it wasn’t just the place that had Rin’s eyes shining like that and felt good for them. He wanted them to be as happy as he and Makoto were.

“You didn’t stay in your room all day, did you Haru?” Hamasaki frowned. “You should have joined us,” he pointed at some of the others, “we had fun playing games and watching TV.”

“It was fine.”

“I’m sure Haru was all right.” Rin smiled at him, and Haru smiled back. “After all, it’s a Sunday.”

Rin knew of their little ritual of course, and he raised his glass, Haru clinking their glasses together. The others looked confused but Haru really did not care. He was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh, actually kept my promise \o/
> 
> Sorry about any mistakes but here we go! Next time Makoto has it out with the annoying one and Haru reprises his role of agony aunt XD


	34. Chapter 34

#  Chapter 34

 

“Tachibana!” Ikehara laughed, seating herself next to him.

He was having lunch at their usual table, scrolling through that day’s newspapers. There was actually a tiny article in the sports section about swimming and Japan’s hopes for the year and the upcoming Olympics. It was still just vague talk for the most part, but Ryuujin’s stars were mentioned, and Makoto had had to smile, knowing that now included Haru too.

“What are you reading?”

Makoto showed her and she scanned it too.

“Oh! That’s great. How is their training coming along?”

“Haru says well enough. They have a guest coach now so they’re working hard.”

“Any news on the Nationals video showing by the way?” She glanced at him while trying to open a particularly stubborn bottle. “Aha!” The lid finally loosened, and she grinned in victory.

“Friday afternoon, in between the two groups, all the parents have confirmed. We’ll be pushing the second session back a bit but nobody has complained.”

“It must be nice to have first-hand information like that in advance. You can inform the ordinary people then.” Nagano sniped at him, as she and Kawasaki sat down, and Makoto had to count in his head not to bite back. She’d been the one dark spot of this internship and though she’d contained herself to such barbs in the past days, it was piling up and he was getting more and more annoyed.

“If you think of something next time Nagano,” Ikehara speared a piece of tomato and Makoto eyed her expression, thinking she was probably imagining Nagano in its place, “then you can work with Watanabe-san to make it happen. As it is, it was Tachibana’s idea here so he’s been doing the work.”

Nagano flushed, apparently unaware of that information but she did not offer an apology, instead just focusing on her lunch. Kawasaki rolled his eyes then, and said hello.

“Anyway, my kids at least are excited. None of them had seen it and now that they’re swimming themselves, it’s a thrilling idea.”

Ikehara suddenly seemed to have thought of something, and jabbed her finger at Makoto. “We can’t be watching everything now can we? We’d never make it.”

“No, just the shorter ones, so that the kids get a feel of the competition. We’re including the last Olympics relay race too because we’ll be doing that as well towards the end.”

“I saw one of your boys was actually managing to swim free. That’s fast.”

Makoto laughed. “Takaya-chan. He’s truly something.” Thinking how it was just ten days ago and how after that he’d stormed through the breast and backstroke and practically pleaded to try proper free. “He’s picking it up really quickly, I have to juggle between him and the others.”

“I had a girl like that last year, it’s a bit of a balance act.” Ikehara agreed.

“Especially with Chiyako-chan, considering.”

“Ah.” Kawasaki nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face, “It’s not a surprise she’s having some coordination issues.”

“She’s patient and very determined, that matters. The others are encouraging, so that’s helping.”

“That’s great.” Sighing, Kawasaki poked at his rice. “I’m having trouble with one of mine.”

“Oh?” Ikehara lifted her head, eyes sparkling. She was after all the oldest among them, so was always open to questions and had plenty of very useful advice.

“A little girl, the one with pigtails?” Makoto tried racking his head, and remembered a little spitfire he spotted during the breaks. Though, that didn’t sound like what Kawasaki was describing.

“I thought I saw someone like her but this one was quite enthusiastic.”

“That is her, that’s part of the problem.” Kawasaki threw his hands in the air, exasperated. “She was hiding the fear, embarrassed so I missed it. It only showed when we started breaststroke and she’s stuck there while everyone else has moved on, which just exacerbated it.”

“Try backstroke.”

“Eh?” Kawasaki startled. “She can’t even do this.”

“I know.” Makoto nodded, smiling. “I’ve had a child with similar issues before, the backstroke helped. They can see the sky that way, you see.”

“Oh!” Ikehara looked at him carefully. “I see what you mean, that’s a good point. Wait, one of the kids here?”

“No, I did some work with kids before, back in Iwatobi. It was similar to this, in our old swim club, but of course smaller facilities. It’s when I decided professional swimming wasn’t for me but sharing the love for it, was.”

“Backstroke, right?”

Makoto laughed, wondering where she got that information but just inclined his head. “Yes. I never had the drive you see. In some ways, I was lucky.”

“How so?” Kawasaki mumbled around his bite of rice and Nagano poked him. He shrugged sheepishly but waved his hand at Makoto, demanding an answer.

“When you have people like Haru and Rin in front of you, you understand quite quickly if you belong there with them, or not. It isn’t just the talent, no matter what some may say. It is this incredible drive and focus to be faster, better, push yourself just a little bit further. I never had that, at least not when it comes to being an athlete.”

Makoto thought back to those years, even as far back as when they were tiny kids. He never could have even conceived of going to Australia, like Rin had, never mind actually left his family. The way Haru could lose himself in the water, completely focused, day after day.

“It’s also given you something else.” Ikehara pointed out suddenly. “You can now recognize it in others. Identifying such kids early is a blessing.”

Makoto nodded. He had been thinking about that very thing actually, in the last few days, as he’d seen the gleam in Takaya’s eyes. He knew that light, knew what lay behind it.

“Interesting times ah?” She waggled her eyebrows at him, and he was sure she had an inkling of what he was thinking. Sometimes he’d look around the pool and he’d spot her with her own group. She was always highly efficient, her kids advancing at a rapid pace but ever so often, he’d see her watching the others, as if evaluating. Makoto was pretty certain that was exactly what she was doing.

“Yes.” He smiled, returning to his lunch and ignoring the confused looks Kawasaki was giving them both.

~~

Friday arrived without much excitement, Makoto’s groups both functioning well though he promised to himself to talk to Ikehara about how to handle Takaya best. He’d remembered she’d spoken of the year before and a similar situation, so figured he’d inquire. Not that he was having difficulties just yet but maybe it could be even further improved.

His morning group was exactly as it had been on that first day, fun and easy to handle. Makoto often thought he had lucked out because it would have been far too cruel to have him land both with interesting children. He loved the challenge but he was still new and inexperienced. Sometimes he’d catch himself going over his plans for the next day’s lesson even if he had done it already several times. That total assurance in his own skill was not something that would be achieved over night and better safe, than sorry. The rest would come in time.

Not that his confidence wasn’t rising, it was. Makoto felt quite good about it all lately, like he was just now finally fully settling in, within himself. It was a heady feeling and he tried not confronting it head on, lest he be overwhelmed by it all.

“Coach Tachibana!” Children’s voices snapped him out of his mussings and he smiled when he saw Chiyako and Takaya approaching. They’d become fast friends in the days past, Chiyako’s mother even remarking on it when they had last spoken. He’d come to visit them, as it had turned out they lived quite close one to another, and they’d had a great time, talking and playing. She was quite grateful as her daughter had been somewhat lonely due to her accident and time spent in the hospital. She was blossoming right in front of their eyes, much like Takaya, even if in a more quiet, less noticeable way, and Makoto was grateful he got to see it.

“Hello there. Ready to have some fun?”

“Yes!” They cheered, quite loudly but he didn’t have the heart to settle them down. The first group found him then, having changed into their day clothes and they all met, Chiyako striking up a conversation quickly and making sure Takaya was included. It was what she did, all the time, and he supported her in return, quiet but steadfast. It wasn’t once that Makoto had noticed the boy stop his swim to help her along and he allowed it, not interfering, as it helped boost both their confidence.

He wished Takaya’s parents would be more involved but as the boy had told him, his father worked to support them and his mother took care of his young siblings, so there just wasn’t time. It was clear though that he hoped they’d at least make it for their final race.

The loud duo was last to arrive, apologizing for their tardiness and they fell in with the others, all talking about who they wanted to see and how it was so good to be able to do this.

Makoto slowly steered them towards the big conference room where everything had been set up for them. The kids oohed when they saw that there were even snacks for them and grinned, whispering among each other how it was similar to the movies, only swimming so better. A few admitted never having been so while the others explained, not that they had vast experience, Makoto was grateful for the program once again.

Ikehara had set up with her own groups next to the windows and waved him over, so he steered his there as well, greeting her and introducing Coach Ikehara to them, being introduced himself. They all found their seats, and she leaned over, whispering. “We’re like mother hens with our little chicks around us.”

He had trouble containing his laughter then, and her quiet snickering wasn’t helping but the kids were distracted thankfully so he didn’t have to explain. He jerked his head towards the food table and they got something for everyone, including the drinks. Enthusiastic thanks ensued and Watanabe-san joined them.

“Welcome everyone. We’ll watch some of the races that were held during the Nationals this year, in April. Some of the swimmers you’ll see here are members of Ryuujin, your coaches will point them out. As you’ll be able to see hard work pays off! I hope you all enjoy it!”

Makoto was glad he kept it short because he could see the children were impatient but then they pulled the curtains and the big screen lit. He had a short list of what they were going to watch for those he didn’t recognize immediately but the first race wasn’t that.

“We’re starting with breaststroke. We’ve learned it too, you’re all quite good at it. Now let’s see what it looks like for the professionals, ah?”

He heard murmurs of agreement around him and the gasps of awe when the swimmers dived. It didn’t take long and Makoto was sure half of the children in the room were about to get out of their seats. “That was fun right?”

“That was amazing Coach Tachibana!” Chiyako piped up and he smiled at her.

“The man who won is our very own Hamasaki Akira. He’s off training far away now, in Europe.”

More excited whispering and off they went in that way. Race after race, everyone happy and cheering. Chiyako had watched the backstroke event carefully, then tugged at Makoto’s hand. “Will I ever get mine right?” She looked up at him with big eyes full of hope and Makoto’s heart melted.

He was happy that he could reassure her, having talked to her therapist earlier too. “Yes, you’re doing great. It won’t even take too long, keep working hard.” She nodded, obviously filled with renewed determination and Makoto knew she would do it.

Rin drew many questions, especially when Makoto explained how he had trained in Australia even as a child. They didn’t know that was possible and then when they saw him smile after his victory, they were all immensely fascinated with him. “He is just so cool!” One of the noisy boys commented, the other nodding along and Makoto laughed softly. He definitely was, especially to young ones.

The hour and a half they had set aside flew by quickly and soon they were at the very last event of the Nationals. They had left free for last because everyone loved it a lot, and Makoto found himself staring at Haru’s face on screen. It was a surreal sort of feeling partly because he had been there and had seen it in person, could recall the intense emotions that even then echoed through him and partly because it was Haru on screen, with Makoto looking on.

It was a sudden reminder of the world Haru had stepped in, and that Makoto would be watching like this for many years to come.

He returned his attention back to the race then, feeling as if it were happening again, the excitement for Haru; that he had gotten that far, that he was going to go even further.

“That’s another swimmer from our club.” Makoto smiled at everyone. “He won three titles, and in the shortest race, he set the National record. That’s the fastest time ever anyone has swum that length, in Japan.” They were looking up at him in awe, before chattering among themselves, as they had the time while Watanabe-san switched the disks to the Olympics relay.

“Coach Tachibana?”

Makoto turned towards Takaya who was still watching the screen, even though it was turned off. “What’s his name?”

He didn’t need to ask who he was asking after. Takaya loved free. “Nanase Haruka.”

“Is he going to the Olympics?”

“He is training for it, yes. They all are.”

“I want to do that one day.” Takaya turned towards him and that gleam Makoto had caught before was back in full force. It was like that, when someone found their dream. “I want to swim like he does. I want to go to the Olympics.”

It was stated calmly and with absolutely conviction and Makoto knew that nobody could write that off as a childish proclamation. Takaya wanted to swim. There were many problems to that though, and he struggled with what to say to the little boy but luck was on his side and Watanabe-san called their attention once again.

“We’ll talk later, I promise.” Takaya nodded, then settled down again and they all watched the races.

They showed them the free one first, where Japan had not gotten to the finals and there were many questions on why. All the coaches tried explaining and while the children were still excited and enjoyed the race, it could not be compared to the cheers when they saw the Japanese team in the medley relay.

Everyone was loud and cheering by then and when they finally noticed that there was a chance that Japan had finished in the medals, there was pandemonium. Their team had come in second in the end, and all the kids were on their feet, hugging, as if it were happening just then and not couple of years ago. Makoto could relate, he had been silently cheering too.

Once they had managed to settle down a bit, they finally escorted everyone out, the morning group going home but Makoto suspected they’d be spending quite a bit of time discussing with their friends once they got outside and the afternoon group to change, buzzing to hit the water and swim too.

“That was a huge success.” Watanabe-san suddenly materialized by his side, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder. “I think we’re going to make this a tradition.”

“Eh?”

“The children are all even more enthusiastic now, and they’ve had fun. The real races have a certain something, it gets the blood going. Well done.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

“No need to be so modest, good work!” With that he was off, leaving Makoto blinking at his back, before he remembered he had a session to hold and hurried to change.

By the time he had arrived, the children were already waiting for him, and checking the clock, he was glad to see he wasn’t late. They were just there in record time it seemed. Their faces seemed determined but they were smiling and he knew they’d work even harder from then on.

He set them to work, making sure everyone was doing well, especially Chiyako and then turned to Takaya, who was patiently waiting for his turn.

“Well, shall we try this then? If you truly want to swim professionally one day, hard work is a must.”

Takaya just nodded at him, and then listened carefully to Makoto’s instructions before starting his swim.

Makoto kept correcting him, and the others, making sure they all had the proper form, encouraging when needed and praising them all at the end. Their allotted time flew by quickly and he was standing outside of the main building, staring up into the sky.

The entire time his brain would not stop working on the issue that plagued him and he was thinking about it just then too.

Takaya’s family had very little funds, it’s why they were there in the first place. Haru was a one-off. He’d trained in a small club then missed vast amounts of time and had still managed to come out of it all well. Privately he thought Haru was still catching up on some of that lost time and though he would, someone else might not. Even Rin had gone for private instruction in Australia, and later at the Samezuka Academy. None of that was an option for Takaya really, which left a scholarship or a sponsorship of some sort.

Makoto had no clue what might be available.

He wished Ryuujin had a year round program.

Talking to Watanabe-san was definitely something he would do but first he wanted to do some research on his own. There was no rush currently but still, he knew time had a way of simply slipping away.

“Deep thoughts Tachibana?” Ikehara asked, and he blinked at her.

Nagano snorted but Kawasaki just glared at her, so she kept her tongue.

“Takaya wants to carry on swimming, all the way to the Olympics.”

“He’s just a kid, he’ll forget about it two weeks after the program is done.” Nagano rolled her eyes, dismissing it.

“No.”

“What?”

“No, he won’t.” Makoto shook his head, but he knew he was right. He also didn’t like how she acted with such disregard towards the boy. They were there to help those children, to believe in them. “This is not a whim of his. We’re supposed to encourage them, not put them down.” Recalling what he’d thought of earlier, he nodded. “I’ve seen it before too, that determination. I think he has the talent, it’s early yet but by the time this program is done, we’ll know more for sure.”

“Exactly.” Ikehara agreed. “If he has the talent, and the drive, it is on us to support them. It doesn’t matter that he’s a child, my brother knew what he wanted at his age.”

“We met Rin around that time, he talked about Olympics even then.”

“We’re poor educators if we don’t take them seriously.” She sighed, threading her fingers through her short hair. “I see the problem though.”

“I don’t.” Kawasaki waved his hands at them.

“Think of who this program is for Kawasaki. Takaya’s family doesn’t have the means to pay for outside lessons. This is a summer thing, what then?”

“Oh.”

“I don’t know anything about any potential scholarships or sponsoring.” Makoto shrugged. “I guess I’m going to have to do research first.”

“Well why would you?”

“Eh?”

“What would you know about it?” Nagano spit the words in his face and he was taken aback by the vehemence of her words. “It’s us that have to struggle, you, with your connections and your rich friends certainly don’t.”

Makoto was left speechless because it seemed like the true issue wasn’t that he was gay, it was something else and yet, he had no clue what she was even talking about.   _Connections meant Haru obviously but what rich friends?_ He suddenly realized she probably meant the Hamasaki brother and sister, but the whole thing was so far-fetched he just gaped at her, stunned into silence.

“This is about your brother!” Kawasaki exclaimed pointing at her. “What has Tachibana got to do with that? Is this why you’re so rotten to him?”

“Do you know how hard he works? How much he wanted this internship?” She flung her arm towards Makoto who just stood there, his brain trying to put all of this together. “Instead he gets in. A first year.”

“Your brother is in my class! What are you talking about? He doesn’t have the best grades. I know.” Kawasaki had his hands on his hips now, his own voice rising. “Tachibana is at the top of his year. Of course he got in! We’ve all talked about things numerous times, you know he is brilliant. Be honest.”

“Atsushi did the best he could, you don’t know what it’s like to struggle.” She huffed. “Maybe if we had connections, it wouldn’t be an issue. He wouldn’t be sitting at home now, he’d be here instead!”

Makoto closed his eyes for a second because he was sure was going to explode for a second.

He took a deep breath and lifted his hands just as Kawasaki was about to say something else.

“Stop.”

Makoto had had enough. He took stock of his emotions, and was glad to find they were under control because he did not want to lose it. At the same time, he was just done with her accusations. He had worked too hard, had been through too many things to suffer any of it.

“I am sorry about your brother. I know how much this internship meant to me and it can’t be easy to not get the chance.” She opened her mouth and he lifted his hand. “No, you’re going to listen, for a change. The reason he’s sitting at home is not my fault. I had plenty of back up places lined up, he should have done the same. As for how I got in here, I got through my hard work. That’s it. I applied as everyone else and was picked because I met the standards Ryuujin requested. I am not going to explain anything else about my life because it is none of your business. If you have any objections you need to go and discuss them with Watanabe-san. Stop taking it out on me.”

He released the breath he was holding and felt incredibly light suddenly. Standing up for himself took away all the pressure and doubt.

“Well said.”

They all turned towards the new voice and Makoto flushed when he realized Watanabe-san had heard most of it, if not all. He knew he had no reason to feel embarrassed and that he wasn’t the cause of any of this but it was still very uncomfortable.

“It seems like we need to have a little talk Nagano.” The man frowned at her but she stared straight at him, and Makoto knew she didn’t want to back down. “It isn’t just that you are baselessly attacking your colleague, which is bad enough on its own, you are in fact impugning the integrity of this club and people who run it. Come with me please. You three, have a good day. You did great.” He smiled lightly at them before schooling his face again and marching back inside, Nagano following without a backward glance.

“What a mess.”

He glanced at Ikehara, who was making a face at the retreating duo then jerked her head. “Come on, we’re going for drinks.” Kawasaki readily agreed and they tugged him along, catching the train first and in no time, they found themselves in a little café, sitting outdoors beneath some trees and enjoying the late afternoon air.

“I still can’t wrap my head around all of that.” Kawasaki shook his head and grabbed his drink.

Makoto snorted at that, huffing. “How do you think I feel?”

“I’m glad you said something Tachibana.” Ikehara pointed a finger at him, her eyes narrowed. “She’s been at it for days, I was wondering when you’d have enough.”

“I don’t like confrontations.”

“Understandable. She was flinging some big insults, you had every right to put a stop to it. You chose well too, it is best not to even try to explain, she never would have accepted any explanations anyway.”

Sighing, he took a sip of his cold juice, relaxing a little bit finally.

“I’m sorry about her brother but she doesn’t know anything about me. I’ve had enough.”

“They’ve had a rough life, I know that much but it’s hardly an excuse to act that way.”

“They’re not the only ones with difficult lives.” Makoto nursed his drink, thinking it over. “I know it’s easy to become bitter but taking it out on others doesn’t help.”

Ikehara snorted. “I wonder what she’d say if she knew you were on a full scholarship too.”

“You are?” Kawasaki inquired then winced. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pry.”

“It’s fine.” Makoto shrugged. He wasn’t ashamed of anything that had happened. “My parents weren’t exactly approving of me, so I had to make sure my education wouldn’t be dependent on them. We have very little contact now. I’ve worked hard to get where I am and there’s plenty more in front of me.”

Kawasaki blinked and Makoto could see the exact moment when he understood. “That’s so stupid!”

Silence followed for a few moments then he blushed bright red and Makoto burst out laughing, Ikehara joining him a few second later.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to say that about your parents but…”

“Don’t worry about it!”

“He’s right too.” Ikehara added. “I am sorry Tachibana, I do not mean to insult, but you’re not a murderer or a criminal. You’re a great student, you work hard, and your fault is who you love? Talk about dumb.” She leered at him and he groaned. Of course she couldn’t stop at that. “Plus you have great taste, they should be happy with their future son in law. So scrumptious.”

It was Kawasaki’s turn to burst out laughing and Makoto could just smile.

“He still hasn’t posted any photos of himself, by the way. I protest.”

“I did tell him.”

“Not that the others aren’t fantastic, they are. But I know you can get him to do it. After all, you can offer him proper incentive.” She smiled innocently at him and Makoto was glad he wasn’t sipping his drink at the moment. He would have choked. No wonder she got along with Nagisa, incorrigible, both of them.

“You better make it happen, you know she’s only going to get worse.” Kawasaki finally stopped laughing and Makoto grinned.

He was right yet he rather liked her teasing. He wasn’t quite sure he wanted it to stop.

Smiling but not commenting, he raised his glass and offered a silent toast, the other two clinking glasses with his and they enjoyed the rest of their afternoon, talking and just having fun.

~~

By the time he finally arrived home, Makoto was exhausted.

Luckily he’d picked up some food on his way back from that place that they both liked so that was one problem taken care of because he barely had the strength to unlock the door. He simply dropped his bags on the couch before going straight for the bathroom. A shower was something he knew he sorely needed so he stripped quickly and stepped under the spray. The water pounded his back and he allowed his head to drop forward, leaning onto the wall. His muscles slowly relaxed and the tension seeped out of his body. Absolutely refusing to think right then about everything that had happened, he allowed his mind to empty.

Only when the water got almost completely cold and goose bumps covered his skin, did he finally step out. Towelling himself off, he warmed up a bit again and just combed his hair, knowing the hot summer air would take care of that quickly. He eyed the AC but decided he wanted air first, so threw the window open. It was still hot but it suited him. Grabbing the food bag he briskly walked to the kitchen and served himself, before returning to the living room and dragging his chair next to the window.

The soup disappeared quickly, and then he just sighed and took his time with the rest. The small park that their apartment looked at was filled with children laughing. It was contagious and he couldn’t keep a smile from his own face. They were so free and innocent, just enjoying their holidays.

Sometimes he wished he could be that carefree just for a few moments again.

Shaking his head, he laughed before taking another bite. While it would be a nice break, no doubt about it, he had to admit for the most part he loved being an adult. That day had been difficult but he actually felt good about how he’d handled himself.

One thing that slightly bothered him were Ikehara’s words questioning how long it took him to act. At first he had been certain Nagano’s problem had been that he was gay and she was simply one of those bigoted people. He turned the idea around in his head, wondering if he’d have reacted like he had sooner, if he had known what the actual issue was.

The answer to that would have probably been yes, Makoto thought to himself, if this had been just a few months earlier. That time had passed though and he was not the same person anymore.

So many things had changed since that moment in Iwatobi.

He’d made the choice he had and had not regretted it. Even with everything, he had not regretted it for one moment. He’d worked even harder since then, achieved some things.

Knowing that now the answer was no, Makoto smiled, contentedness flooding his body. He refused to allow some things, no matter how mild mannered he usually was. Confrontation was something he avoided but there were lines in the sand, even for the likes of him. In fact, they were quite starkly defined. He’d lost too much for them not to be.

Deciding on one of the meat chunks, he popped it into his mouth and chewed slowly. The day had been so strange. A part of him sympathised with Nagano, and her brother. It could not be easy to be in their shoes. He did have a safety net, thanks to the wonderful people around him and it seemed that they didn't. She had been completely irrational though, especially if her brother truly did not apply to anything but Ryuujin. That was insanity, nobody put all their eggs in one basket if they were even remotely thinking straight. She made her choices, the three of them had. He shook his head again, hoping this was finally over and he could work in peace in the following weeks.

The notion that Watanabe-san supported him that way made him smile. He hadn’t quite expected it. The man was right that she had been throwing a bad light on the club too and he wondered if he would be doing the same, if he thought of his supervisor’s behaviour as surprising. After all, he was there to take care of them all.

Scraping the last of the rice, he sighed and reached to get his water.

Of course, the one thing that remained was whether to tell any of this to Haru while he was still in Europe. He hummed, thinking that it would probably be better to leave it for when he returned but on the other hand if he did, Haru might think he didn’t want to share with him. He twirled different scenarios in his head as he got up and washed the dishes, finally deciding that he would tell him the bare bones of it, especially as now Watanabe-san had presumably resolved it all. Haru wouldn’t feel stressed and yet he’d share it with him. The rest could wait.

As he dried his hands, as the last plate had been washed, he thought he was somehow stronger, more confident, after all of this. He’d make sure to share that with Haru too, after all, he always said that Makoto ought to believe in himself more.

It would be good to tell him that he may be starting to. It made him smile.

~~

Haru waved at Makoto one more time and disconnected, smiling.

They’d had a long talk, catching up for the past few days and Haru had had to grin when Makoto enthused about his kids, as he called them. He’d lit up in particular when talking about the little boy who loved free and while Haru found this perfectly reasonable, he had to smile at Makoto’s hints at perhaps meeting him. It certainly wouldn’t be a chore, but he’d let Makoto go through a whole bunch of possible bribes before he’d cracked up and put him out of his misery. That had gotten him a pout that he wanted to kiss away and he’d grumbled, unhappy about it.

He was also quite sure there was much more to the story Makoto had told him about the incident but he understood well the desire to shield the other, so he appreciated that he had shared as much with Haru. He’d get the whole of it once he was back, he was sure of it, and he was ecstatic to hear Makoto’s words about how he had handled it all and how he was more confident and sure of himself. That need to kiss him got a whole lot more intense then but he’d hold that too, for when he was back.

Time was flying, he couldn’t quite believe it, and it wouldn’t be that long, but then he’d spent it working hard.

His last race had gone so well, his coach really excited and even Fanchini-san had had words of praise. Now that had made him blink because the man was usually taciturn, his words reserved for what else needed work and improvement.

Haru got up, putting the computer away, and walked over to the window. It was a grey, dull day, the rain pounding on the sill ever since that morning.

He felt anything but that though. In fact, he’d never been better. He’d been swimming most of his life and by then, he was more than capable of assessing his own progress. This summer program and working with both Mizushima-san and Fanchini-san so intensely was paying off big time.

His last race had been a revelation of a sorts.

All the subsequent practices even more so. It was as if things were slowly coming together, in one more wave to push him onto the next level. He could feel it, the whispers of a new song, growing louder and louder and he was just about ready to touch it.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this excited, and he couldn’t wait for the last meeting for their stay, in Germany. That video Rin had shown him had been of that pool and he itched to get to it. Both his coaches had smirked when he had confessed it and told him they expect good things from him. Still, he was confident that he would be able to honour their trust and all the work they’d invested in him.

Sighing, he stared at the rain, thinking that as his own confidence grew, one of his friends was suffering more and more.

Nagisa had talked to him before they had left for Florence, about Hamasaki’s problems the year before. He had also done well in the Japanese Nationals but then had taken a dive during the summer, losing and continuously dropping down the ladder. Haru sighed, thinking something similar seemed to be occurring again this year as well. A few days ago, he’d sat in at one of Hamasaki’s sessions and he was fully fit, in excellent form. It was no surprise though because with everything Nagisa had told him, and that he’d seen for himself, it was clear the whole thing was psychological in nature.

He knew their coach was trying to help him through it, and Hamasaki hadn’t mentioned the issue to Haru so bringing it up seemed rude. He could perhaps, try and get his mind off of it, at least for a little while.

His nose wrinkled at the state of his shorts so he grabbed his jeans, thinking it was probably smarter anyway, what with the rain. Next came a shirt followed by his shoes, his camera and an umbrella, and he was out, locking the door behind him. Rin was somewhere with Sousuke, they’d gone out again and Haru smiled. He knew he would be taking advantage of being in such a romantic city if only Makoto were with him. It didn’t take long for him to reach Hamasaki’s door, they were on the same floor, and he knocked.

Leaning on the door, he waited, the sound of footsteps on the other end reaching him first, and then the door opened.

“Haru? Is something the matter?” Hamasaki’s hair was mussed and he looked like he had been in bed. Haru didn’t exclude that, considering he hadn’t shown up for lunch earlier. Another reason to try and get him out, moping about on his own would do him no good.

“We’re going out.”

“Eh?”

“Get dressed, we’re going out. I can’t stand being cooped up here any longer.”

Hamasaki sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Haru, look …” he looked at something behind him, then back, shrugging, “it’s raining and I don’t really feel like it. I’m tired.”

“All right. I’ll just tell Nagisa you left me wandering the big, foreign city on my own.” Haru knew he was being harsh but it was all for the best. Hamasaki groaned, his head falling onto his chest.

“You’re being unfair little brother.”

Haru startled for a second, unused to the appellation coming from the other man, Nagisa being the only one who had used it until then but then he grinned. “From what I understand from Makoto, being a pain is what little brothers are for. Also to be pampered.”

Hamasaki blinked at him then threw his head back, laughing. “Well, I suppose you’ve got that right. Get inside, I need to shower first. I won’t be long.” He padded to grab some clothes before entering the bathroom, leaving Haru to close the door behind him. Mild chaos was a good description for Hamasaki’s side of the room, since Haru was feeling charitable, so he just shook his head and moved the pile of dirty laundry from the chair. He looked around and his gaze fell onto the photo of the brother and sister, obviously taken a long time ago, at a pool, with an old man. Guessing it was probably their grandfather, Haru smiled. There weren’t many other personal items around, and he just whisked out his phone then, typing up a quick email to Nagisa, and just about when he was done, Hamasaki stepped out, looking far more put together.

“I feel more human.” He groaned, rotating his shoulders. “I still don’t think a walk in the rain is smart.”

“We’re not made out of sugar.” Haru poked him with his umbrella. “No excuses.”

They finally left the room, and quickly found themselves walking down the almost empty streets. There were still a few tourists milling around but most had taken shelter at various cafés and restaurants. Haru just walked towards the river, a destination in mind, until they found themselves in a park, just as the rain was turning into more of a drizzle.

“How do you find these places Haru?” Hamasaki’s voice was filled with awe, as he stared around at the beauty that surrounded them.

“I like quiet.”

He continued along, glancing at Hamasaki who just nodded, and followed.

It truly was gorgeous, he had thought so the first time he’d found it, a week or so ago, when he’d roamed the city. He had been out on a gift errand because he had finally found something unique to take back home. The generic tourist things were all right, but he wanted something different for the few important people in his life. Once done, he’d gone on a walk, and finally ended up there, among the wisteria and oak trees.

“Are those tortoises?”

Grinning, he nodded. He’d been delighted too, when he’d first spotted them. It seemed they roamed freely and he could not have been more thrilled at the sight of them.

“Lemon trees.” Hamasaki waved towards a cluster of them and inhaled deeply. “Our grandfather had some in his own garden, back home.”

“They’re everywhere.” Haru folded their umbrella, as the rain had finally came to a stop.

“You can ask, you know.” They were slowly roaming the green maze, when Hamasaki stopped. “I know Nagisa told you some of it.”

Haru just shook his head, tugging him along. “If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen. Not why I brought you here though. Just let your mind rest.”

The words made Hamasaki stumble, Haru grabbing him, and he got a surprised look thrown his way. He imagined it was because he didn’t take him up on the opening. Haru was of the opinion that there was nothing wrong with not talking sometimes too, and just letting things rest.

The garden provided plenty of distractions so he slowly led the way, among the roses and the tulips, enjoying the scent of flowers mixing with that unique smell of nature after rain. He snapped photos of it, and the buildings, with Hamasaki ambling along, and then stood a quiet shadow, while the man crouched, staring at one of the animals, beneath a lemon tree.

By the time they left the tranquillity of the park behind, it was already late afternoon.

“Do you mind if we go to Michelangelo’s square?” Hamasaki suddenly asked, breaking the silence. “I’ve been told it’s beautiful at night too.”

“Let’s take the bus, we’ll get there faster.” Haru was in no rush to return to his room and it didn't take long before they were climbing up and the local line deposited them at their destination.

If they had planned it, they probably would not have reached it at such a perfect moment. The sun was setting above the Arno, the city suffused in its light, and Haru stared at the golden hues that bathed the buildings, including the magnificent dome that reigned over the city. Thanking his lucky stars that he’d had his camera with him, he snapped photos and walked along the railing, getting different angles and the changing shades.

He was aiming for the river when his lens caught Hamasaki, leaning on the railing, his face pensive, and looking somewhere far away. Unable to resist he snapped a few photos, thinking Nagisa for one would love to have it and then walked over to join him. There were more tourists around them now but at the same time, everyone seemed quiet, engrossed in the beauty of it all, just as they were.

“Thank you Haru.”

He raised an eyebrow in question and Hamasaki smiled, waving towards the city. “For this afternoon. I needed a break.”

“We all need quiet sometimes.”

Thrusting his hands into his hair, the other man sighed. “My head is never quiet.”

“Not even when you swim?” Haru turned towards him, leaning on his arm.

“Sometimes I can almost reach it. When I dive and all the sound cuts off, just for a few moments, it’s perfect.”

Thinking how different it was to his own experience, he could still understand what Hamasaki was talking about. It also seemed like a good thing, no matter how fleeting it may be right then. He wasn’t sure how to quite phrase that but he got interrupted just then, and he listened instead.

“Then it’s my father’s voice, over and over again.” Shaking his head, Hamasaki closed his eyes. “I am never going to be who he wants me to be. He’s never going to be happy, or proud of me.”

Haru’s thoughts went to his own father. Sometimes he’d spend a few moments of the day, pondering where they were. His silence had not broken, even with all the successes and he was certain, all the words his mother had to say. At first he’d figured he’d approach him anyway, but as time passed the gulf between them grew. His life was good, he was happy and while a part of him hurt, he did not want to let that affect it more than it had to.

“Are you who you want to be?”

That surprised Hamasaki, if the startled look he threw Haru’s way at those words was to go by, but Haru was certain that was what mattered. They could not live their lives for their fathers, governed by them and their beliefs.

“I am not sure.” Hamasaki’s quiet voice sounded lost somehow and Haru nodded, understanding.

“It’s what you should think about, and how to get there.”

“Not easy.”

“It is far easier than we may think sometimes.” Haru turned back to the city, the night having fallen and little blobs of light popping up everywhere. “My father doesn’t approve of Makoto. I haven’t spoken to him since I’ve told them. Makoto’s parents don’t approve of me. It hurts us.” Twisting towards Hamasaki again, he reached out, grabbing his shoulder. “It would hurt us more if we denied who we are. I cannot even imagine a life without the happiness Makoto brings me. I do not want to.”

“I can choose another life besides swimming, you can’t choose who you love.”

“Should you though? Just to make him happy? What about your happiness? What about your dream? Akira.” He squeezed his hand, frustrated that the words were hard to find. “There are other people around you who support you, who’ll be happy for you, with you.”

“Nagisa would be so angry if I gave up.”

“She would be. But that's not the important part. You are. You should be angry someone is even asking you to.”

Hamasaki buried his face into his hands then, quiet for a few moments, and Haru kept the contact but let him be.

“I don’t want to give up. I’m selfish but I don’t want to. I want to swim, swim with all of you.” The words were barely audible, making Haru strain to catch them but once he did, he smiled. He had been so afraid for a few moments there but the quiet admission got his heart soaring. He wasn’t a fool to think everything was resolved, but just knowing that Hamasaki wanted it, made everything easier.

“Good.” He finally let go of his arm. “We’re all going to help you but you have to fight with us.”

Averting his eyes towards the panorama, he let Hamasaki compose himself, ignoring the hasty rubbing at his eyes. “Nagisa was right.”

“Eh?”

“She said that I should think of you as the ocean.”

Haru wasn’t quite sure what to make of that, not that he particularly disliked being compared to it so he just shrugged.

“Come on. I’m going to introduce you to something big brothers do.”

“Eh?”

Hamasaki laughed, and to Haru he seemed just a little bit lighter. “We buy ice cream for our little siblings. You’re not the only person who’s made discoveries in this city. Gelato’s waiting, let’s go.”

It was Haru’s turn to grin, and he nodded, feeling like he wouldn’t mind being a little brother, every once in a while for those two.

Hamasaki’s gentle teasing while he later stood in front of the many choices, debating with himself what to get, was coloured with obvious feelings of affection and amusement and Haru truly did not mind at all.

~~

“I can’t believe I’m going to miss your birthday.”

Haru looked at Makoto’s forlorn face and sighed. He hadn’t even thought about it until Rin mentioned that he should swim extra well for the Berlin meet due to it being on the very same day. Of course, he’d laughed after he realized what Haru’s confused blinking meant.

“I’d completely forgotten.”

“Haru!”

Makoto’s now scandalized face was looking at him from the little screen and he had a hard time suppressing a chuckle. Shaking his head, he wiggled around on the bed to find a more comfortable position and just shrugged.

“It doesn’t really matter anyway.” Glancing away, as it was embarrassing but he felt like he should say it anyway. “I want to spend it with you.”

“Oh Haru.” Makoto’s eyes were suspiciously wet now and Haru wished he could simply curl up with him just then and there.

His time in Europe for the summer was drawing to an end slowly and he was almost ready to return home. It had been great; he’d progressed a lot. His coaches had outright told him so in their briefing for the Berlin meet the night before but he hadn’t actually needed to hear their words, no matter how welcome they had been. He knew he was close to another crossroads and welcomed it.

“Haru?”

Makoto’s inquiry diverted his attention and he realized he’d drifted off. Sighing, he closed his eyes, knowing that Makoto won’t mind.

“It’s been great here.” He shrugged again, not sure how to explain. “It did a lot of good for my swimming. I didn’t expect it would make this much of a difference but we’ve worked for it. Fancini-san has helped so much.”

“He’s coming back with you, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he is going to stay until the Asian Games. I’m actually glad for it.” Blinking his eyes open, he focused on Makoto and smiled. “He’s a slave driver and combined with Mizushima-san it’s truly exhausting sometimes.”

“You love it anyway.”

Laughing lightly, he nodded. “It’s more difficult than I thought it would be, the pro-athlete life but I’m finding I honestly don’t mind. Except for times like this.”

“We’ll have our own celebration when you get back.”

The first thing that popped into his head was that it wasn’t the same, he really wanted to be with Makoto on that day but he managed to stop himself in time. Adding to Makoto’s unhappiness was not something he wanted so he just nodded, trying out a small smile.

“It’s not as if you’ll be alone anyway.”

He blinked confusedly at Makoto’s words and tilted his head in question. A sunny smile broke out on Makoto’s face, his eyes shining and Haru felt caught in his gaze.

“I’m always with you Haru, remember that.”

His mind flashed to that conversation with Rin and his thoughts that they would always be Makoto and Haru, no matter what. All those moments that they’d shared, first as kids and friends, and now as adults and lovers, had inextricably bound them together. Makoto’s words spoke to that part of him now, to the very core of his being where the love for this man resided.

“I know.”

No more words were needed and Makoto just nodded at him. Haru wasn’t surprised because it was one of those moments when there were just the two of them, the rest of the world somehow removed, non-existent. They could just be and he knew that Makoto was indeed right; distance meant nothing.

“I’m sure the others will throw you a party too.”

Haru groaned when those words popped his little bubble, then narrowed his eyes at Makoto’s now mischievous smile.

“That’s just mean.”

“Oh come on Haru, you’ll have a good time! I’m sure Rin has something in mind.”

Letting his head drop forward, he sighed but it just made Makoto laugh. “He does. He’s also told Yamazaki and then Akira overheard him.”

Makoto only laughed harder at his tortured voice and Haru pouted as Makoto ought to have more compassion for his boyfriend’s troubles.

“You’re going to have fun.”

“Not really.”

“Yes, yes you are.”

“Not really.”

“Haru! They care about you.”

He felt like Makoto wasn’t playing fair by mentioning that. He glanced at him through his fringe and sure enough, he had that gentle smile on his face now.

“I guess it won’t be so bad.”

“It’s going to be great.” He nodded at Haru. “Let them do this for you.”

Feeling like he could not actually object, he sighed tiredly and nodded back. It’s true that he was getting a bit more used to spending time with more people, it was simply inevitable in situations like this, but still he had been able to get plenty of moments just for himself, to decompress and relax. The entirely new city at his disposal to explore had actually been a perfect excuse. Of course, he had enjoyed every second of it, every nook and cranny he’d managed to discover but it did have that added benefit.

Rin had also been great, Haru knew he’d given him plenty of time alone on purpose, precisely knowing how Haru was. He supposed he could put up with one party and he could always excuse himself early if it got too much.

“We’ll celebrate when I get back.”

“I’m also going to call you, don’t think you’re getting out of that.”

Haru knew a big smile was blooming on his face but it was appropriate. “I can’t wait.”

“Me too.”

He could see Makoto moving forward a bit and it seemed as if he’d had the same impulse of reaching out and embracing. They’d have to wait just a little while longer.

“In the meantime, do have fun Haru.”

He wrinkled his nose, thinking he’d try. Even if being with a lot of people just wasn’t his thing.

That same thought, only much more intense, was passing through his mind several days later, when he and Hamasaki stepped into the warm up area of the Berlin pool.

“That is a lot of people.”

He blinked at the words, wondering if Hamasaki had read his mind.

“I guess it’s not too strange, this is one of the bigger meets for the year.” Hamasaki was continuing, oblivious to Haru’s mind wandering off course and Haru forced himself to try and listen. “You know, I’m actually excited.”

Haru lifted his eyebrow. That was certainly a good change from how it had been up to that point.

“I feel…” Hamasaki turned to Haru, shaking his head, his voice pitched low, so that they wouldn’t accidentally be overheard by others. “I feel better I think. I’ve thought a lot, since that conversation. This,” he waved his hand towards the pool and all the other athletes, “this is who I want to be. An athlete, competing with all these other people who love the same thing I do. Competing with my friends, working towards the same goal.” He shrugged, obviously embarrassed, but continued anyway. “It makes me happy Haru.”

“I’m glad.” Reaching out, he touched Hamasaki’s shoulder quickly. Physical touch was not something he was used to, not counting Makoto and Rin, but he felt the need just then. “It wouldn’t be the same without you Akira.”

That got him a smile and a shoulder nudge. “We’ve also got that relay ah?”

Laughing, Haru shook his head. “Yes, we do. Come on now, let’s do this.”

They wandered off then to find Rin who was swimming too and soon they were warming up under Sousuke’s watchful gaze. Haru used the repetitive motions that he could do in his sleep by then to slowly get himself into that state where he could tune everything out, going through his visualisation and then just claiming a seat while he waited.

Time ticked on and he watched his friends get ready to go. His race was the last one of the day and he had to be patient. He’d had a lengthy discussion with Sousuke about whether he should be informed or not about how the others were doing but in the end, he’d decided not to be interrupted. Yamazaki had agreed, thinking that it was simply better for him to completely focus. He did hope that they did well but his own race had priority.

Finally his discipline was called and before he knew it, he was standing on the start block, waiting for the signal to go.

For a few moments before he dived, there was a shift in the water but then the buzzer sounded and he was off, into the new and unknown.

~~

“Here we go.”

Haru smiled at Yamazaki and accepted his cake. “Thank you.”

“I know it’s not as good as the one you make but we tried!”

Blinking at the words, he looked up in question only to have Rin laugh sheepishly.

“I hounded Sousuke to let me help.”

“Of course I had to join in then.” Hamasaki laughed. “It took both of us to keep an eye on that guy!” He poked Rin in the side, who started grumbling then.

“I am not that bad.”

“You’re getting better.” Haru almost giggled at Yamazaki’s words. Of course he’d try and cheer Rin up. Mostly though, he was just touched that they went to the trouble to do this for him.

“Thank you guys.” He wished he had better words than that but then Rin gave him a quick hug, Sousuke rolled his eyes at him and Hamasaki pointed, ordering him to eat and he knew that a simple thanks could speak a thousand words when you are with people who are close to you and know you.

He settled down and sampled the cake, while thinking of his day.

It was actually just the four of them, which had caught Haru off guard. He’d expected Rin would throw him a party with everyone but apart from the group dinner after the meet, and hearty congratulations by the others, he’d been dragged away to their room, with only the other two following. Rin had shrugged at his confused blinking and simply told him he wanted Haru to enjoy his birthday so less people it was. He had given him a quick hug then and then they’d produced presents making him blush in embarrassment as he actually hadn’t expected anything, only to top it off with the cake.

The cake which was actually quite tasty. “This is great!”

“Really?” Sousuke’s surprised question made him nod vigorously because it truly was.

“It is!”

Rin hummed around his piece, nodding and Hamasaki just laughed in delight.

“Did you manage to talk to Makoto?”

Somehow unsurprised that the question had come from Sousuke and not one of the other two, he sighed and sat back. “Yes, he stayed up so that we could talk. I am happy we got to hear each other.” A small smile broke out but then he didn’t even want to contain his joy. He was with friends after all, it was all right to share this with them.

“We’re going back soon.” Hamasaki grinned and Haru’s smile widened.

“You won today. It hasn’t been so bad in the end, ah?”

“I think…” Hamasaki paused, as if having trouble finding the words, “I think it’s actually been the best.”

“Yeah?” Rin looked at him in surprise but Haru noticed Sousuke just smiled, while looking down.

“Yes. I think things are looking up!” He raised his glass. “To the future!”

They clinked glasses, even if it was only water, and drank. “You did well too Rin!”

“I didn’t win.” He was pouting, and Haru stuffed another piece into his mouth, trying not to laugh. He really was ridiculous. “I know. We’ve improved and it’s been great but I want to start winning too.”

“Fly is quite competitive.”

“Well I wouldn’t mind breaking a record at least. He did it again!” Rin pointed at Haru who just shrugged.

“Yes but it’s easier in his discipline, we’ve been quite good at fly for a while now.” Sousuke was as always pragmatic and Haru could only agree. After all, his record only got him second place but then he was pleased. It had been a special race for him. He didn’t get to think about it much though, because Sousuke poked Rin, frowning. “You swam your own record. Doesn’t that count? Stop getting ahead of yourself.”

“I’m happy!” Rin waved his fork around. “It’s just slow going.”

“Patience Rin.” Hamasaki smiled at him. “It’ll come.”

Sousuke shifted his own chair closer to Rin’s and then in an uncharacteristic show of emotions, hugged him with one arm, causing Rin to sigh and lean onto him. “It will come.”

“I understand the desire Rin, we all do.” Hamasaki said, sighing. “It’s just asking for trouble. Put too much pressure on yourself and it will only hurt you. Trust me on this one.”

“We’ll get there Rin, probably faster than you think too.” Haru had to add because he truly believed it but then Sousuke suddenly laughed, startling them all.

“You know, I don’t think you two quite realize how arrogant you would sound to some.”

“What?” Rin was looking at him in confusion that Haru could definitely relate to but then Hamasaki just nodded, laughing too and gave Sousuke the thumbs up.

“It’s your first year in professional swimming and you’re already talking about records and winning on the international scene!” Shaking his head, Sousuke rolled his eyes.

Haru just shrugged and polished off his cake.

Rin blinked, obviously in agreement with Haru.

Hamasaki laughed again and they moved on from swimming to talk of music and Italy and how in short while, they’d be home again. It was a good night and Haru did indeed have fun for his birthday, even if he missed Makoto something awful. His friends were there with him.

Finally they said their good nights, Rin mumbling something about seeing Sousuke out before he scampered away too, making Haru laugh. _Really, who does he think he’s kidding?_ He closed the door quietly, thinking they had an off day tomorrow, to relax so he knew not to expect him back any time soon. He took a shower and changed into his sleep clothes, then walked over to the window.

Night had settled around Berlin and he yet he could see the city was very much alive and buzzing. He hoped that they’d be able to see some of the sights tomorrow, he’d of course brought his camera as well. His thoughts though flew back to his race that day and how it had felt.

It was as if somehow that moment hadn’t been just his. He could recognize the echoes of all the people swimming with him now. It has been a while since he’d known that having Rin there mattered so much to him. He was a part of Haru’s swimming, has been since they were kids but he’d only been comfortable to admit it since last year. But now, now it was as if there were others there too.

Hamasaki’s a little bit uncertain, a little bit turbulent current. Sousuke’s steady, comforting one.

Finally, he could feel Makoto too.

The calm one that would wrap itself around Haru, keeping him safe.

They were all a part of his swimming now, starting to blend seamlessly, making it easier, better.

Haru smiled at the night and thought of home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akira and Haru were at Palazzo Corsini al Prato garden, absolutely gorgeous place!
> 
> So yes, Nagano is a thing of the past, or at least the conflict with her, as she was only a cog in Makoto's realization. What happens to her now, off screen, is yours to decide, if you care to think about her at all. I'm leaving it open-ended on purpose, as she has tough choices to make and whether she chooses to think honestly about it all or carry on as she has been. She's stuck in a quagmire of her own making, and though the root of it all is that life is indeed anything but fair, your own choices play a part too. Not everyone can admit that. Whether she will, and change, you choose. 
> 
> You can also probably see by now where this plot point is going, through Makoto, Takaya, Nagano, Akira, and how there's one thing, one's finances and social standing too, and their influence on things. We'll have more later!


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